The Project Gutenberg eBook of Scottish toasts
This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online
at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States,
you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located
before using this eBook.
Title: Scottish toasts
Author: Charles Welsh
Release date: September 28, 2025 [eBook #76945]
Language: English
Original publication: New York: H. M. Caldwell Co, 1908
Credits: Aaron Adrignola and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive)
*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SCOTTISH TOASTS ***
[Illustration: SCOTTISH TOASTS]
[Illustration]
SCOTTISH
TOASTS
By IVOR BEN McIVOR
[Illustration]
H. M. CALDWELL CO.
Publishers
NEW YORK AND BOSTON
_Copyright, 1908_
BY H. M. CALDWELL CO.
_Electrotyped and Printed by
THE COLONIAL PRESS
C. H. Simonds & Co., Boston, U.S.A._
INTRODUCTION
Whenever and wherever Scotchmen foregather the spirit of friendship and
festivity is in the air.
To be able to say the right thing at the right moment is to contribute to
the harmony of such occasions. This little book is offered as an aid to
all who would do so—and it has been arranged so that Toasts, Sentiments
and expressions of Conviviality, Love and Friendship of varying character
and for all occasions come ready to hand. Here separately grouped are
Patriotic Toasts, Convivial Toasts, Sentiments of Love and Friendship,
Toasts to the Women, Humourous Toasts, and a budget of Miscellaneous
Toasts and Sentiments from which to pick and choose at will.
Here also is a store of good stories; when toasts are not in order a
good story is always in order. The best of all good stories are among
the Scotch ones and these are of the kind that are ever welcome at the
festive board.
And the compiler of this little book, to use the language of the Toast
Master of the Lord Mayor of London, “bids you a right hearty good
welcome” and drinks to all his brother Scots in a Loving Cup.
CONTENTS
PAGE
Introduction v
Menu ix
Patriotic Toasts 1
Patriotic Scotsmen 15
Toasts to Women, Love, Friendship, etc. 33
Convivial and Humourous Toasts and Sentiments 51
Some After Dinner Stories 73
Miscellaneous Toasts and Sentiments 89
Scottish Toasts: A Miscellany 105
Edinburgh Pen and Pencil Club
_Scotch Nicht._
“And noo a rantin’ feast weel stored,
Saurs sweetly on the festive board.”—_Picken’s Poems._
“A grace (but no) as lang’s my arm.”—_Burns._
Bill o’ Fare.
Powsowdie and Cockie-leekie.
“Wi’ rowth o’ reekin’ kail supply
The inward man.”—_Ferguson._
Cod and Oyster Sauce.
Haddies.
“... He’s no ill boden
That gusts his gab wi’ oyster sauce
An’ cod weel soden.”—_Ferguson._
“They’re braw caller haddies.”—_Antiquary._
Sheep’s Head and Trotters.
Haggis.
“A sheep’s head owre muckle boiled is rank poison.”—_Bailie
Nicol Jarvie._
“A haggis fat, weel tottled in a seything pat.”—_Ferguson._
Drams.
“An’ his nose is juist a sicht, wi’ drinkin drams.”—_Outram._
Beef and Greens.
Bubbly-Jock and Howtowdies.
“We’ll live a’ the winter on beef an’ lang kail,
An’ whang at the bannocks o’ barley meal.”—_John, Duke of Argyll._
“Noo, maister, I sall thank ye for a prievin’ o’ your
bubbly-jock.”—_Saxon and the Gael._
“A fine fat howtowdie....
The fowl looks weel, an’ we’ll fa’ till her.”—_Allan Ramsay._
Marrow Banes.
“Nil nisi bonum.”
“Os homini sublime dedit.”
Kapers.
“Do you not remember, Hugh, how I gave you a kaper?”—_Clan
Albyn._
“Then auld guidman, maist like to rive,
_Bethankit_ hums.”—_Burns._
Toddy.
“A guid auld sang comes never wrang,
When o’er a social cogie.”—_William Reid._
“The hour approaches Tam maun ride.”—_Burns._
“Landlady, count the lawin’.”—_Burns._
“Guid nicht, an’ joy be wi’ ye a’!”—_Old Song._
_Waterloo Hotel._
W. G. R.
PATRIOTIC TOASTS
A health to the friends of Caledonia.
* * * * *
But let ilk man pursue his plan,
Let all have liberty of soul,
Let every man stand by his clan
And slavery have no control.
* * * * *
Be whaur I like, or gang whaur I like, I see nobody hae the sense and
manners that the folk o’ our ain town hae!
* * * * *
Brave Caledonia, the chief of her line.
* * * * *
Breathes there a man with soul so dead,
Who never to himself hath said,
This is my own, my native land;
Whose heart hath ne’er within him burned,
As home his footsteps he hath turned
From wandering from a foreign strand?
* * * * *
Caledonia: the nursery of learning and the birthplace of heroes.
* * * * *
Edina! Scotia’s darling seat!
All hail thy palaces and tow’rs,
Where once beneath a monarch’s feet
Sat legislation’s sov’reign pow’rs!
From marking wildly-scatter’d flow’rs,
As on the bank of Ayr I stray’d,
And singing, lone, the ling’ring hours,
I shelter in thy honour’d shade.
* * * * *
Give me my Scotia’s darling sons
Sae kind and free.
O! but I loe their hamely tweils,
Their auld sweet songs and foursome reels,
Their heathery hills, their glens and biels
Sae snug and warm,
Rare honest independent chiels
Wha dread nae harm.
* * * * *
Green be thy hills, auld Scotia,
And fertile be thy plains, man;
Where friendship, love, and freedom reign,
To bless our nymphs and swains, man.
* * * * *
Here’s to dear Scotland, its crags and its glens!
The bonniest country that e’er mon micht ken!
The land where the lads and the lassies all learns
To play golf, to drink high-balls and read Bobby Burns.
* * * * *
Here’s to the land of bonnets blue,
Tartan kilts and tarry woat,
O for a waught of mountain dew,
To toast the guid and brave o’t.
* * * * *
Kyle for a man,
Carrick for a coo,
Cunningham for butter and cheese
And Galloway for woo.
* * * * *
O Scotia! my dear, my native soil!
For whom my warmest wish to Heaven is sent!
Long may thy hardy sons of rustic toil,
Be blest with health, and peace, and sweet content!
* * * * *
O Scotland! it was a gracious act in thee
To build a monument beside the sea
To Lincoln, to him who wrote the word,
And slavery’s shackles fell.
* * * * *
Old Scotia, loved at home, revered abroad.
* * * * *
Rear high thy bleak, majestic hills
Thy sheltered valleys proudly spread,
And, Scotia, pour thy thousand rills
And wave thy heaths with blossoms red.
* * * * *
Pledge to the much-loved land that gave us birth,
Invincible, romantic Scotia’s shore!
Pledge to the memory of departed worth,
And first, among the brave, remember Moore.
And be it deemed not wrong that name to give
In festive hours, which prompts the patriot’s sigh,
Who would not envy such a Moore to live—
And died he not as heroes wish to die?
Yes, though too soon attaining glory’s goal,
To us his bright career too short was given,
Yet, in a mighty cause, his phoenix soul
Rose, on the flames of victory, to heaven.
Now oft (if beats on subjugated Spain
One patriot heart) in secret shall it mourn
For him! now, oft, on far Corunna’s plain,
Shall British exiles weep upon his urn!
Peace to the mighty dead! our bosom-thanks
On sprightlier strains, the living may inspire!
Joy to the chief that leads old Scotia’s ranks,
Of Roman garb, and more than Roman fire.
Triumphant, be the thistle still unfurled!
Dear symbol wild! on Freedom’s hills it grows,
Where Fingal stemmed the tyrants of the world,
And Roman eagles found unconquer’d foes!
Joy to the bard, on ancient Egypt’s coast,
Whose valour tamed France’s proud tri-colour,
And wrenched the banner from her bravest host,
Baptized Invincible in Austria’s gore.
Joy for the day on red Vemeira’s strand,
When bayonet to bayonet opposed,
First of Britannia’s host, a Highland band
Gave but the death-shot once, and, foremost, closed.
Is there a son of generous England here,
Or fervid Erin? he with us shall join
To pray that in eternal union dear,
The rose, the shamrock, and the thistle twine.
Types of a race who shall the invader scorn,
As rocks resist the billows round their shore,—
Types of a race who shall, to time unborn,
Their country leave unconquered, as of yore!
* * * * *
Scotland and the products of its soil.
* * * * *
Scotland: the birthplace of valour—the country of worth.
* * * * *
Scotland, my auld, respected Mither!
Tho’ whiles ye moistify your leather,
Till whare ye sit, on craps o’ heather,
Ye tine your dam;
(Freedom and whiskey gang thegither!)
Tak’ aff your dram!
* * * * *
Scotland’s bonnie boys.
* * * * *
Scottish heroes; and may their fame live for ever.
* * * * *
Scottish learning and Scottish universities.
* * * * *
So may old Scotia’s darling hope,
Your little angel band,
Spring, like their father’s, up to prop
Their honour’d native land!
So may thro’ Albion’s farthest ken,
To social-flowing glasses,
The grace be—“Athole’s honest men,
And Athole’s bonnie lasses!”
* * * * *
The land o’ the leal.
* * * * *
The tartan plaid.
* * * * *
The thistle of Scotia!—the thistle sae green!
* * * * *
Then here’s may Scotland ne’er fa’ down,
A cringing coward doggie,
But bauldly stand and bang the loon,
Wha’d reave her of her coggie.
* * * * *
To the land o’ cakes.
* * * * *
To the banners of Scotland—long may they wave.
* * * * *
To the memory of the Heroes and Heroines of Bonnie Scotland.
* * * * *
To the memory of Wallace and the Scots who hae wi’ Wallace bled.
* * * * *
We toast ye, the nicht, the hill and the heather,
The lad o’ the bonnet, the plaid and the feather,
The land o’ the mountain, the stream and the river,
The land o’ our ancestors, Scotland for ever!
* * * * *
Wherever I wander, wherever I rove,
The hills of the Highlands for ever I love!
PATRIOTIC SCOTSMEN
A Budget of Stories
The expression, “Caledonia, stern and wild,” is very apt. The sternness
has been seen in the Solemn League and Covenant, in Sabbath observance,
and in the Disruption of 1843. The wildness has been seen on many a
battlefield in every quarter of the world. Lord Byron refers to it in
his description of Waterloo:—
“And wild and high the ‘Cameron’s Gathering’ rose.
... the fierce native daring which instils
The stirring memory of a thousand years.”
Sir Walter Scott, dealing with the same subject, uses a similar
expression. In Ossian it occurs over and over again. Stern and wild
applies to country, people, and music as much to-day as it did a hundred
years ago. The qualities which Napoleon admired in the Scots at Waterloo
in 1815 were displayed at Dargai and Atbara in 1898.
* * * * *
The Scots being a warlike race, it followed that the Volunteer movement
should be popular. We all know the story of the urchin who laughed
immoderately at the mounted Volunteer officer. The officer turned on him
with the wrathful remark, “Boy, what are you laughing at; did you never
see a war horse?” The urchin responded, “Oo, aye, I hae seen a waur horse
mony a time, but I never saw a waur rider!”
* * * * *
Geordie Gardiner was a member of Trowan’s company, Crieff, which was
composed chiefly of country lads. They used to squat down on the grass
as soon as they entered the park, and no bugle call could bring them to
their feet till Geordie would get into a frenzy, running about like a
drover at Falkirk Tryst, shouting to the recumbent redcoats, “Rise and
dress up there, or I’ll tak’ ye a crack wi’ a stane!”
* * * * *
A lad who got his living by the manufacture of horn spoons applied for
admission into what was known as the Daft Company in Crieff. Lord John
addressed the Company, and asked, “if they would be willing to serve
along with the lad who was a tinker.” Gill Jock replied, “Ou, aye, sir,
tak’ him by a’ means. We get the name o’ the Daft Company ony way, and
then there’ll be naething but daft folk and tinkers in’t.” Poor Lord
John, feeling himself, as it were, “rebuked and put down,” merely added,
“Oh, I’ll inform the young man that he’ll not be accepted of.”
* * * * *
A story is told of a Haddington tinsmith, Harry Galbraith, who, when
checked for inability to perform some military evolution in the Volunteer
Corps, replied in a tone of disgust, “Every man to his trade, Captain
Kinloch. Can ye mak’ a caffee-pat?”
* * * * *
The Tranent Volunteers, a very good company, consisting almost entirely
of miners, were being drilled, a good many years after 1859, by Adjutant
Ross, afterwards colonel of the Royal Scots. The order was new to them,
“Stand at ease. Stand easy.” They stood easy, as miners do, by settling
on their hunkers! I hope the expression is not too vague. The expression
used by the adjutant was not. It is told of the same company that on one
occasion, at a big affair in Annisfield Park, they were told to “ground
arms.” This was done by every man. Afterwards, when the order was given,
“take up arms,” one member had to be prompted, and this was how it was
done: “Hi, Johnnie, man, lift yir cannon.”
* * * * *
This reminds me of another from the same company. It was during
refreshment time after a big sham fight. “Hi, man,” says one, “a’
lost the skin o’ ma baagnet comin’ through that —— wud.” “Man, that’s
naethin,” exclaims a comrade, “A’ lost the lid o’ ma cannon.” The
worthies were deploring the loss of a scabbard and a sight protector.
* * * * *
I am not sure whether he was a member of Tranent company or not that
was travelling one night by rail from Edinburgh when an old gentleman
searched his pockets, grew very fidgety, and said it was a most
extraordinary thing that he should lose his railway ticket. Our hero
calmly replied, “Lose a bit ticket! That’s naethin. A’ lost the big drum.”
* * * * *
In one of the Haddington Volunteer companies there was a member named
Porteous, who was not a crack shot, but it was understood that his
bullets all went to the same place, which came to be known as Porteous’s
hole. Whenever a Volunteer missed the target and asked, “I wunner
whaur’ll that ane hae gane,” the reply was, “It’ll be in Porteous’s hole.”
* * * * *
It does not pay crack shots to brag too much, however. A squad of the
8th (Crieff) Volunteers, firing at Bennybeg Range, happened to hit a
horse that was standing near—probably with a splinter from a bullet
after it had struck the target. A short time afterwards the excellences
of the “gallant eighth” were being extolled in presence of a well-known
Breadalbane Highlander named Duncan. Becoming exasperated, he exclaimed,
“Tamm you and ye gallants and eights and things, the first man ye shot
was a horse!”
* * * * *
A private of the 7th V. B. R. S., of extreme weight, took part in a
forced march from Stow to Dingleton Common, and, it being a very hot day,
had to succumb. The doctor asked him if he knew his weight, and the
answer gasped out was, “A’ no’ ken, but I was auchteen stane when I left
Longniddry.”
* * * * *
At some Volunteer manoeuvres in the South of Scotland a young sergeant in
charge of a squad was asked by a private, “Where are we to go now?” “Dae
ye no see that beer barrel below the trees? Left turn. Quick march.”
* * * * *
It was a commissioned officer who, having to lead his company through a
narrow gap in a hedge, gave the order, “Halt, disperse, form on other
side of hedge.”
* * * * *
Adjutant Gordon, Haddington, once startled his company with the command,
“When the bugle fires begin to sound.”
* * * * *
He was a Highland sergeant who told the men in camp, “If she’ll be
findin’ pottles here and pottles there, and if she’ll find no more
whatever the innocent will be punished as well as those that’s not
guilty.”
* * * * *
On one occasion a sham fight was going on and two men were supposed
to have been shot. One of them, however, got up and fired off a blank
cartridge, when the other, a joiner, pulled him down, exclaiming, “Dae ye
no ken yir a casualty?”
* * * * *
Colonel Ross of the Royal Scots, while adjutant of the Haddingtonshire
Volunteers, allowed full sway to his humour and impulsiveness. On one
occasion he took in hand the “sizing” of a company, and after stating
the book instructions that the tallest man was to be placed on the right
and the smallest on the left, shouted “Six feet two, three paces to the
front.” There was no response. “Six feet one,” etc. One stepped forward.
And so on down to five feet four, when one man was left. “Five fut,”
shouted the adjutant, and little J—— responded to the order amid laughter
which was not easily suppressed.
* * * * *
Old Sergeant Law of the Haddington company had a hunchback, no chest to
speak of, and a head which reached far forward. When drilling he used
to ask the members of the company to “Stand straight, head up, just like
me.” The same old sergeant was a good shot, and on one occasion when
putting on bull’s eyes in succession was asked by a man of position, who
was a member of the company, how he managed to score so well. The reply
was, “Oh, I juist shut ma een and pu’ the tricker!”
* * * * *
A good story of practice at “the butts” is told of a Volunteer who was
observed to lower his rifle frequently and blow something from about
the foresight. Asked by a comrade what was wrong, he said there was a
blasted fly that persisted in landing on the barrel whenever he took aim.
The comrade took the rifle and lay down, when he discovered that the
mysterious fly was none other than the rangekeeper painting out bullet
marks in front of the target. The old man had no idea how near he was to
a future state.
* * * * *
It was a red-letter day in the annals of the Haddington Volunteers
when the Marquis of Tweeddale invited them to have a sham fight in the
neighbourhood of Goblin Ha’, famed through “Marmion.” The commander,
a burly citizen who had attained to high honours in the birthplace of
John Knox, placed himself in front of his company and addressed them
in martial strains. “When the bugle sounds the charge,” he concluded,
“follow me, my brave men.” The bugle sounded, the charge was made—for
about thirty yards, when the gallant leader, looking back to see how his
men were advancing, fell into a ditch. The rank and file pursued their
wild career, but two kind-hearted sergeants remained by their discomfited
leader. “Oh, captain, I hope you are not mortally wounded,” said one. “My
breeks are wounded,” said the officer on being pulled out of the ditch.
“Duncan, hae ye a needle and thread?” Duncan, who was a tailor, had the
necessaries; at any rate the unmentionables were patched up in some way,
and the officer was sympathized with in being so unfortunate as to get
wounded in the back, thereby suggesting that he had been disgracefully
fleeing from the enemy.
* * * * *
The old soldier was at one time a prominent personage in country
districts. One of the earliest stories I remember is of a veteran who
touched his hat whenever he spoke to anybody. Some one checked him for
this, remarking that he was a very poor man and unworthy of such honour.
The reply of the old warrior was, “Am I to spoil my good manners for your
d—— poverty?”
* * * * *
The old warriors were not always well educated. A veteran in the Crieff
district, John M’Niven, was one of the advance companies, or forlorn
hope, which entered Washington, of which only eleven survived to tell
of their daring. When asked by one of his neighbours how he felt when
marching to the town he answered, “I dinna ken; I was just there.” John
was religious and read his Bible on Sundays, spelling the difficult
words, and giving pronunciations unknown in English dictionaries. He
had several parts of a work entitled, “The Life of Christ,” and one of
his lodgers had some parts of a work entitled, “The Scottish Chiefs,”
and both publications had similar covers. One Sunday his lodgers and
a neighbour were talking of things worldly to such a degree that John
thought fit to challenge their proceedings, and told them it would be
wiser were they reading their Bibles, and if they would not do so he
would read it himself. He took “The Scottish Chiefs,” and commenced
reading and spelling at a determined rate. After a little he got
bewildered with an adventure connected with Wallace. His hearers could
scarcely keep their gravity, but one ventured to ask who this Wallace
was. He replied, “Ye micht ken that brawly, wi’ yer education. He was
one i’ (of the) apostles.” John once offered to put up a dyke “at a penny
below the lowest offer.” On another occasion the laird sent a servant
asking John to make an offer. John, not being a ready writer, asked the
servant to write out the offer. This the servant refused. “Well,” said
John, “just tell the laird that I’ll put the dyke up for what he likes.”
* * * * *
When Tam Black, another Crieff worthy, went to the Highlands to buy yarn
he always was attired in full regimentals, and if any one asked the
reason the ready reply was, “Oh, a person’s money is always safe under a
red coat. No one would ever think of robbing a soldier.”
* * * * *
Old Andrew Creach, Bower, was most unscrupulous in his dealings with
those he did not like. He was very ready-witted. In a Thurso tavern he
got into a discussion with a blacksmith about sweating, and the son of
Vulcan, having got the worst of the argument, said, “Andrew, come down to
the back of the chapel and I’ll put your soul ou’ of your body in five
minutes.” “At leisure, at leisure,” said Andrew, “they’re no so easy
putten thegither again.”
TOASTS TO WOMEN, LOVE, FRIENDSHIP, ETC.
A cozy but, and a cantie ben
To couthie women and trusty men.
* * * * *
An honest man may like a glass,
An honest man may like a lass,
But mean revenge, an’ malice fause,
He’ll still disdain.
* * * * *
And fill them high with generous juice,
As generous as your mind;
And pledge me in the generous toast—
“The whole of human kind!”
* * * * *
And here’s to a’ in barley bree,
Oursel’s and a’ the warld thegither,
To a’ wha luve the kilted knee,
Or bonnie lasses in the heather.
* * * * *
And pray a’ guid things may attend you!
* * * * *
And the sands shall sing,
And the round world ring,
With my love and thy love for me.
* * * * *
And whilst we thus should make our sorrows one
This happy harmony would make them none.
* * * * *
But truce with kings, and truce with constitutions,
With bloody armaments and revolutions;
Let Majesty your first attention summon,
Ah ça ira! the Majesty of Woman!
* * * * *
But ye whom social pleasure charms,
Whose hearts the tide of kindness warms,
Who hold your being on the terms,
“Each aid the others,”
Come to my bowl, come to my arms,
My friends, my brothers!
* * * * *
Drink ye to her that each loves best.
* * * * *
Fill me with the rosy wine,
Call a toast, a toast divine,
Give the poet’s darling flame,
Lovely —— be the name,
Then thou mayest freely boast
Thou hast given a peerless toast.
* * * * *
Farewell the glen sae bushy, O!
Farewell the plain sae rushy, O!
To other lands I now must go,
To sing my Highland lassie, O!
* * * * *
For a’ that and a’ that,
It’s coming yet for a’ that—
That man to man the warld o’er
Shall brithers be for a’ that.
* * * * *
For me, I’m woman’s slave confessed—
Without her, hopeless and unblessed.
* * * * *
For there’s nae luck about the house,
There’s nae luck at a’;
There’s little pleasure in the house
When our gudeman’s awa’.
* * * * *
Go to your sculptur’d tombs, ye Great,
In a’ the tinsel trash o’ state!
But by thy honest turf I’ll wait,
Thou Man of worth!
And weep the ae best fellow’s fate
E’er lay in earth.
* * * * *
Here’s a health to ane I lo’e dear,
Here’s a health to ane I lo’e dear;
Thou art as sweet as the smile when fond lovers meet,
And soft as their parting tear—Jessy!
* * * * *
Here’s a bottle and an honest friend!
What wad ye wish for mair, man?
Wha kens, before his life may end,
What his share may be of care, man?
Then catch the moments as they fly,
And use them as ye ought, man:—
Believe me, happiness is shy,
And comes not aye when sought, man.
* * * * *
Here’s to him who winna’ beguile ye.
* * * * *
Here’s a health to the ladies at hame,
Here’s a health to the ladies awa’,
And wha winna pledge wi’ all their soul
May they never be smiled on at a’.
Here’s health to the bright eyes at hame,
Here’s health to the bright eyes awa’,
Here’s health to the beauties of every clime,
And may we be smiled on by a’.
* * * * *
Here’s to the friends we can trust
When the storms of adversity blaw;
May they live in our song and be nearest our hearts
Nor depart like the year that’s awa’.
* * * * *
Here’s to the year that’s awa’,
We’ll drink it, in strong and in sma’;
And here’s to the bonnie young lassie in love
While swift flies the year that’s awa’.
* * * * *
Here’s to them that loe’s us, or lends us a lift.
* * * * *
Here’s to woman—she requires no eulogy—she can speak for herself.
* * * * *
Here’s to you, as good as you are,
And here’s to me, as bad as I am;
But as good as you are and as bad as I am
I’m as good as you are, as bad as I am.
* * * * *
Honest men and bonnie lassies.
* * * * *
I hae been blythe wi’ comrades dear;
I hae been merry drinkin’;
I hae been joyfu’ gath’ring gear;
I hae been happy thinkin’;
But a’ the pleasures e’er I saw,
Tho’ three times doubled fairly,
That happy night was worth them a’
Amang the rigs o’ barley.
* * * * *
It warms me, it charms me,
To mention but her name,
It heats me, it beats me,
And sets me a’ on flame.
* * * * *
Jessie, the flower of Dumblane.
* * * * *
Mair friends and less need o’ them.
* * * * *
May the hand of charity wipe the tear from the eye of sorrow.
* * * * *
May the friends of our youth be the companions of our old age.
* * * * *
May the honest heart never feel distress.
* * * * *
May the hinges o’ friendship never rust or the wings o’ love lose a
feather.
* * * * *
May ne’er waur be amang us.
* * * * *
May we a’ be canty and cosy
And ilk hae a wife in his bosy.
* * * * *
Let’s drink our drap o’ barley bree,
Though moon and stars should blink thegither,
To each leal lad wi’ kilted knee,
And bonnie lass amang the heather.
* * * * *
May never wicked fortune touzle him!
May never wicked men bamboozle him!
Until a pow as auld’s Methusalem
He canty claw!
Then to the blessed New Jerusalem,
Fleet wing awa!
* * * * *
O! love! love! laddie.
Love’s like a dizziness!
It winna let a puir body
Gang about his business.
* * * * *
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to min’?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o’ lang syne?
Chorus
For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We’ll take a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne.
We twa hae run about the braes,
And pu’d the gowans fine;
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary foot
Sin auld lang syne.
For auld, etc.
We twa hae paidl’t i’ the burn,
From mornin’ sun till dine;
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
Sin auld lang syne.
For auld, etc.
And here’s a hand, my trust fiere,
And gie’s a hand o’ thine;
And we’ll tak a right guid willie-waught,
For auld lang syne.
For auld, etc.
And surely ye’ll be your pint-stoup,
And surely I’ll be thine;
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne.
For auld, etc.
* * * * *
The de’il rock them in a creel that does na’ wish us a’ weel.
* * * * *
The Ingle neuk wi’ routh o’ bannocks and bairns.
* * * * *
The social friendly honest man,
Whae’er he be,
’Tis he fulfils great Nature’s plan,
And none but he.
* * * * *
The Highland lads and Lowland lassies.
* * * * *
The Lowland fare and the Highland lassies.
* * * * *
Then fill a bowl, and while we drink
We’ll rivet closer friendship’s link,
Till joy rin o’er and care deep sink,
Beneath the whirling wave o’t.
* * * * *
Till Hymen brought his love-delighted hour,
There dwelt no joy in Eden’s rosy bower.
* * * * *
To a’ Scots lassies.
* * * * *
To our next merry meeting.
* * * * *
Thumping luck and fat weans.
* * * * *
To see her is to love her,
And love but her for ever;
For Nature made her what she is.
And ne’er made sic anither!
* * * * *
This is a good world to live in,
To lend to spend or to give in,
But to get or to borrow or keep what’s one’s own
’Tis the very worst world that ever was known.
* * * * *
To those who love us, second fill;
But not to those whom we love:
Lest we love those who love not us!
A third—“to thee and me, Love!”
* * * * *
While highlandmen hate tolls and taxes;
While muirlan’ herds like guid fat braxies;
While terra firma, on her axis
Diurnal turns,
Count on a friend, in faith an’ practice,
In Robert Burns.
* * * * *
While waters wimple to the sea;
While day blinks in the lift sae hie;
Till clay-cauld death shall blin’ my e’e,
Ye shall be aye my dearie.
* * * * *
Whilst we together jovial sit
Careless, and crowned with mirth and wit,
We’ll think of all the friends we know
And drink to all worth drinking to!
CONVIVIAL AND HUMOUROUS TOASTS AND SENTIMENTS
A man when he’s sober is deils ill to ken;
Gude sooks than there’s nae kenning o’ him.
But prime him wi’ nappie, than ye mae gae ben
And learn what he is—for ’twill show him.
* * * * *
A club of good fellows like those that are here
And a bottle like this I most heartily cheer.
* * * * *
A ram’s horn filled with usquebaugh.
* * * * *
Here’s to the chief whose heart is brave,
That merrily lives in the mountain cave
And bides by greenwood law,
Who scorns the weather,
Whose bed’s the heather,
Fill high, fill high together.
* * * * *
And let the careless moments roll
In social pleasures unconfin’d
And confidence that spurns control
Unlock the inmost springs of mind.
* * * * *
And now I have lived—I know not how long.
And still I can join in a cup or a song.
* * * * *
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu’ prayer,
Gie her a Haggis!
* * * * *
Be’t whiskey gill, or penny wheep
Or any stronger potion,
It never fails, on drinking deep,
To kittle up our notion
By night or day.
* * * * *
Blythe, blythe, aroun’ the nappy,
Let us join in social glee;
While we’re here we’ll hae a drappy,
Scotia’s sons hae aye been free.
* * * * *
Blythe may we a’ be,
Ill may we never see.
* * * * *
Breeks and brochan (brose).
* * * * *
By the gaily circling glass
We can tell how minutes pass.
By the hollow cask we’re told
How the waning night grows old.
* * * * *
Comrades, you may pass the rosy.
With permission of the Chair
I shall leave you for a little, for I wish
to take the air.
* * * * *
Drink to-day, and drown all sorrow;
You shall perhaps not do’t to-morrow.
* * * * *
Food fills the wame, an’ keeps us livin’;
Tho’ life’s a gift no worth receivin’
When heavy dragged in pine and grievin’;
But oil’d by thee,
The wheels o’ life gae down-hill, screivin,
Wi’ rattlin’ glee.
* * * * *
Fortune, if thou’lt but gie me still
Hale breeks, a scone, an’ whiskey gill,
An’ rowth o’ rhyme to rave at will,
Tak a’ the rest,
An’ deal’t about as thy blind skill
Directs thee best.
* * * * *
Freedom and whiskey gang thegither!
Take aff your dram!
* * * * *
Gae fill the three pint cup o’ ale,
The maul maun be above the meal,
We hope your ale is stark and stout
For men to drink the auld year out.
* * * * *
Gie him strong drink, until he wink,
That’s sinking in despair;
An’ liquor guid to fire his bluid,
That’s prest wi’ grief an’ care;
There let him bouse, an’ deep carouse,
Wi’ bumpers flowing o’er,
Till he forgets his loves and debts,
An’ minds his griefs no more.
* * * * *
Gude e’en to ye a’ an’ tak your nappy,
A wully-waught’s a good night cappy.
* * * * *
Here’s to the place where a drap o’ guid drink’s to be gotten.
* * * * *
Here’s your fery good healths
And tamm ta whiskey duty.
* * * * *
In Vino Veritas! which means
A man’s a very ass in liquor.
The thief that slowly steals our brains
Makes nothing but the temper quicker.
* * * * *
Inspiring, bold John Barleycorn,
What dangers thou canst make us scorn.
* * * * *
Lang may they bloom, as aye they’ve been
The pride o’ lang syne.
Then fill the bicker reaming fu’
Wi’ Scotland’s Highland wine,
An’ drink to a’ whar’re leel an’ true,
An’ days o’ lang syne.
* * * * *
Let other poets raise a fracas
’Bout vines, and wines, and druncken Bacchus,
And crabbit names and stories wrack us,
An’ grate our lug,
I sing the juice Scotch barley can make us,
In glass or jug.
* * * * *
Let Pride in Fortune’s chariots fly,
Sae empty, vain, and vogie;
The source of wit, the spring of joy,
Lies in the social coggie.
Then O revere the coggie, sirs!
The poor man’s patron coggie!
It warsels care, it fights life’s faughts
And lifts him frae the boggie.
* * * * *
Lees me wi’ drink.
It gives us mair than either school or college,
It wakens wit, it kindles lear
An’ primes us fou o’ knowledge.
* * * * *
May the pleasures of the evening bear the reflections of the morning.
* * * * *
May love and whiskey both
Rejoice an honest fellow,
May the unripe joys of life
Love and whiskey mellow.
* * * * *
May ye never ken a fiddler’s drouth.
* * * * *
May we have preed an’ cheese like Pen Nevis, an’ whiskey like Loch Lomond
and a pig dyke ’tween us an’ the Tevil.
* * * * *
May we never be wearing lug warmers when we are offered a drink of
whiskey.
* * * * *
May we ne’er want a friend or a drappie to gie him.
* * * * *
Now fill your glasses ane an’ a’
And drink the toast I gie ye, O,
“To merry chiels and lasses braw,
And every joy be wi’ ye, O.”
Fair fa’ the whiskey, O,
Fair fa’ the whiskey, O,
What wad a drouthy body do,
If ’twere nae for the whiskey, O?
* * * * *
O gie me the times when the ploys were in vogue
An’ the cake an’ the kebbuck gaed down wi’ the cogue.
* * * * *
O guid ale comes and guid ale goes,
Guid ale gars me sell my hose,
Sell my hose and pawn my shoon,
Guid ale keeps my heart aboon.
* * * * *
O thou my muse! guid auld Scotch drink!
* * * * *
There’s nought so sweet in this poor life
As knittin’ soul to soul;
And what maist close may bind that knot?
The glass and bowl!
The glass and bowl, my boys,
The glass and bowl;
So let us call, for this is out,
Anither bowl.
We never dabbled in the burn,
Nor pull’d the gowan droll,
But often has the sun’s return
Surprised our bowl.
Chorus—Our glass and bowl, etc.
And aft did we the merry catch
And cheering ditty troll,
And hooted mony a whiggish wretch
About the bowl.
Chorus—Our glass and bowl, etc.
And, therefore, hill betwixt may rise,
And though ocean water roll,
Yet we’ll ne’er forget the lads who met
About the bowl.
Chorus—Our glass and bowl, etc.
And when yer poet’s dead and gane,
And laid beneath the moul,
Let those who sung his memory, drink
About the bowl.
Chorus—Our glass and bowl, etc.
* * * * *
Our heads cool, our feet warm.
And a glass of good liquor to do us no harm.
* * * * *
Peat whiskey hot
Tempered with well boiled water,
These make the long night shorter.
* * * * *
Scotch whiskey and Scotch cakes.
* * * * *
See the smoking bowl before us,
Mark our jovial ragged ring;
Round and round take up the chorus,
And in raptures let us sing.
* * * * *
Some hae meat and canna’ eat,
And some wad eat who want it;
But we hae meat and we can eat,
So let the Lord be thankit.
* * * * *
Strong ale was ablution,
Small beer persecution,
A dram was memento mori;
But a full flowing bowl
Was the saving his soul,
And port was celestial glory.
* * * * *
The grace is said: it’s nae o’wer lang;
The claret reams in bells.
Quo, Deacon, “Let the toast round gang,
Come, here’s our noble sels’,
Weel met the day.”
* * * * *
The Highlandman’s bauld, the Highlandman’s free,
His arm is strong and his heart is true:
What gives the Highlandman courage and glee?
What but the drops of his mountain dew.
* * * * *
The juice of the grape is given to him who will use it wisely,
As that which cheers the heart of men after toil,
Refreshes him in sickness, and comforts him in sorrow.
He who enjoyeth it may thank God for his wine cup as for his daily bread.
And he who abuses the gift of heaven is not a greater fool than thou in
thine abstinence.
* * * * *
The sweets of Life—Mirth, Music, Love, and Wine.
* * * * *
Life’s a bumper filled by fate,
Let us guests enjoy the treat,
Nor, like silly mortals, pass
Life as ’twere but half a glass;
Let this scene with joy be crown’d,
Let the glee and catch go round!
All the sweets of life combine,
Mirth, music, love and wine.
* * * * *
Then fill up a bumper, and make it o’erflow,
And honours masonic prepare for to throw;
May every true brother of the compass and square
Have a big-bellied bottle when harass’d with care.
* * * * *
Then here’s to ilka kindly Scot:
Wi’ mony good broths he boils his pot,
But rare hotch potch beats a’ the lot,
It smells so brawly.
For there’s carrots intill’t and neaps intill’t,
There’s peas and beans and beets intill’t,
The hearty wholesome meats intill’t
That stick the kite sae brawly.
* * * * *
Then let us toast John Barleycorn,
Each man a glass in hand;
And may his great posterity
Ne’er fail in old Scotland!
* * * * *
Then sip the dew, and cheerful sing,
And loud the bagpipes play, man,
And gae the very welkin ring
Wi’ blithe St. Andrew’s Day, man.
* * * * *
There’s death in the cup—sae beware!
Nay, more—there is danger in touching;
But wha can resist the fell snare?
The man and his wine’s sae bewitching.
* * * * *
To sum up all, be merry, I advise;
And as we’re merry, may we still be wise.
* * * * *
To the three things necessary to the happiness of a Scotchman—First, the
sneeshin’ (snuff), second, the whiskey, third, more whiskey.
* * * * *
To whiskey—o’er a’ the ills o’ life victorious.
* * * * *
We arena fou, we’re nae that fou,
But just a drappie in our ee;
The cock may craw, the day may daw,
And aye we’ll taste the barley bree.
* * * * *
We hae a’ kinds o’ whisky, fre Glenlivet sae clear,
That ne’er gaes a headache—to the five bawbee gear;
We hae Gin, Rum, Shrub, and ither neck-rackets
For them whan the clear stuff their brain sets in rackets
We hae fine Yill frae Peebles, an’ Porter frae Lonnon—
Ginger beer frae the toon, an’ Sma’ brisk an’ foaming;
We hae Teas, Bread an’ Cheese, alias Welsh Rabbits;
Ham, Eggs an’ Red Herrings for wairsh tasted gabbets.
If at ony time aught else should be wanted
We’ll raither send for ’t than see freen’s disappointed.
* * * * *
We meet to be merry, then let us part wise
Nor suffer the bottle to blind reason’s eyes.
* * * * *
Wi’ tippeny, we fear nae evil;
Wi’ usquebae, we’ll face the devil!
* * * * *
Now for the Doch an’ Doris.
SOME AFTER DINNER STORIES
The source o’ joy below,
The antidote to woe,
And the only proper go,
Is drinking drams.
So sang George Outram. The barley bree is peculiarly national, and
is responsible for an extraordinary amount of wit and humour. Of
course there are the tragic and the pathetic sides. But, as is related
elsewhere, “A kirk withoot a hell’s just no worth a d—— docken.” If there
had been less harm there would have been less fun in whisky. When could
lemonade make a man “Glorious, o’er a’ the ills o’ life victorious!”
What a pathetic little scene is that of Hawkie, the well-known Glasgow
“character,” as he himself describes it. “Wearied out, I lay down at
the roadside to rest me, an’ a’ the laddies were saying as they passed,
‘Hawkie’s drunk,’ an’ vext was I that it wasna true.”
* * * * *
“Was ye ever drunk, sir,” inquired a Perthshire blacksmith of the Free
Church minister who was remonstrating with him for excessive indulgence.
“No, Donald,” said the minister, “I am glad to say I never was.” “I
thocht as muckle,” said the smith; “for man, if ye was ance richt drunk,
ye wad never like to be sober a’ your days again.”
* * * * *
A Perthshire village tradesman got on the “batter” and did not return
home until after the lapse of several days. His wife met him in the door
with the question, “Whaur hae ye been a’ this time?” “Perth,” was the
sententious reply. “Perth!” echoed the wife. “An’ what was ye doin’ sae
lang in Perth? Nae mortal man could be doin’ gude stayin’ in Perth for
three hale days on end.” “Awa! an’ no haiver, woman,” was the dry reply,
“plenty o’ fouk stay a’ their days in Perth an’ do brawly.”
* * * * *
“There’s death in the cup!” exclaimed a violent teetotal lecturer as
he rushed up to where an old farmer was carefully toning his dram with
water from a huge decanter. More of the pura had flowed forth than was
intended, and eyeing his glass critically, “Hech, an’ I think ye’re
richt, freend,” was the response, “for I’ve droon’d the miller.”
* * * * *
Here is a peculiar form of “drunk.” The grandfather of the author of
“Oor Ain Folk” sent his man Donald to dispose of a skep of bees at
Edzell market. The seductions of the fair, etc., were too much for
Donald, who arrived home nearly “blin’ fou” and could only give a long,
rambling rigmarole of the most imaginative character about the lost
siller. Seeing clearly, however, what had happened, the old minister in
great irritation cut him short with the following outburst of broadest
vernacular: “Hoots! ye leein’ sumph, ye’ve drucken the haill hypothec; I
can hear the vera bees bizzen i’ yer wame!”
* * * * *
Johnnie Baxter, of Montrose, was ordered by the doctor to give his
wife some whisky. Shortly afterwards the doctor called again, and,
being rather dubious of Johnnie’s moral rectitude when whisky was in
question, asked him point blank, “Weel, Johnnie, did ye get yer wife the
stimulant I ordered?”, “Ou ay,” said Johnnie with a hiccough, “I got
the steemulant.” “Ay, but did ye administer it?” Then Johnnie, with a
fine outburst of drunken candour, said: “Weel, as fac’s deith, doctor,
I got the whusky for her, but ye see ye tell’t me she couldna last till
mornin’, and that naethin’ would dae her ony guid, so I jist thocht it’s
a peety tae waste guid whusky, and so, doctor” (this with a sigh), “I
jist took the drappie masel’;” but he hastened to add, seeing a look of
strong disgust on the doctor’s face, “I gied her the hooch o’t.”
* * * * *
For the pure “peat reek” one must go away to the far north. There whisky
was a “mercy,” something sent by an all-wise Providence to comfort the
sons of men in all their troubles. Old Andrew Creach, of Caithness, was
the reverse of a bigoted teetotaler. A shepherd accused him of being
drunk, and quoted Scripture to the effect that no drunkard should inherit
the Kingdom of God. Andrew retorted, “Ye know nothing about it, shir;
what does the Scripture say? ‘Whosoever will, let him take the water of
life freely.’ That’s the Gospel call, and I tell ye, shir, I hope I’ll go
singing fu’ ower Jordan.”
* * * * *
A hard-working weaver had a less Scriptural explanation. Recognizing
that the only social relaxation he could possibly enjoy was when he met
his cronies to interchange ideas over a tumbler of toddy, and on being
reproached by his good minister for having allowed himself to be overcome
by the seductions of the potent national spirit, he said, as the minister
expressed his astonishment that he would allow his love for whisky to
overcome the better part of his nature: “Ah, meenister, it’s no the
whisky, it’s the ‘here’s t’ye’ that dis a’ the mischief.”
* * * * *
There is an old story of one man coming into a public-house and asking
for a glass of whisky because he was hot, another asking for one because
he was cold, and a third because he liked it.
* * * * *
A young countryman went a considerable distance to pay a visit to
his uncle and aunt and cousins, who were reputed a family of strict
teetotalers. During his first meal at his kinsman’s table the young man
commented on the absence of spirituous liquors. “We’re a’ temperance
folk here, ye ken,” interrupted the old man. “No spirituous liquors are
allowed to enter this house.” After dinner the old man went upstairs to
take his customary “forty winks,” the girls started off to Sunday School,
and the boys lounged away to smoke in the stable. As soon as Aunt Betty
found herself alone in the kitchen she put her fore finger to her lips,
to enjoin silence on the part of her youthful nephew, and going to a
dark nook in the pantry, she drew therefrom a little black bottle, and
filling a glass, held it out to him and said, “Here, John, tak’ a taste
o’ that. Our gudeman’s sic a strict teetotaler that I daurna let him ken
that I keep a wee drap in the hoose—just for medicine. So dinna mention
it.” A few minutes later the old man cried from the stairhead, “Are you
there, John?” The nephew went upstairs, when the head of the house took
him to his own bedroom, where he promptly produced a gallon-jar of whisky
from an old portmanteau under the bed, and, pouring out a hearty dram,
said: “Teetotalin’ doesna prevent me frae keepin’ a wee drap o’ the ‘rale
peat reek’ in case o’ illness or that; so here, lad, put ye that in yer
cheek; but (confidentially) not a word aboot it to your auntie, or the
laddies.” Strolling out of doors after this second surprise, and entering
the stable, the cousins beckoned their relative into the barn, where
after fumbling among the straw for a few seconds, they handed him a black
bottle, with the encouraging—“Tak’ a sook o’ that, cousin, ye’ll find
it’s gude; but not a word to the old fouks, mind, for twa mair infatuated
teetotalers were never born.” Such things happen also in the State of
Maine they say. [Ed.
* * * * *
John and Betty M’Dougal went to a temperance lecture and signed the
pledge. On their way home they bought a bottle of whisky to have in the
house in case of illness—“medicine,” they called it. About a week after
John complained of not feeling well, and said, “Betty, wuman, I’m no
weel; I’ve a terrible sair stamach. Fetch the medicine; quick, wuman,
quick.” Betty brought the bottle and held it up to the light, and said,
“I wush, John, there may be a gless in it, for I’ve had a terrible sair
stamach mysel’ every day this week!”
* * * * *
Three drovers in a roadside inn met and celebrated—in whiskey. There
was but one glass and that with no foot to it. One after the other they
filled and refilled it, one of them saying gravely each time it came to
his turn, “I think we wadna be the waur of some water,” but he never used
any.
* * * * *
It was a Scotchman who said that porter was a wholesome beverage if you
did not drink more than a dozen bottles!
* * * * *
It may have been the same man who observed, “Na, na, I never knew onybody
killed wi’ drinking; but I hae kenned some that deed in the training.”
* * * * *
“Bend well to the Madeira at dinner, for here you’ll get little o’t
after,” was the advice given to a fellow guest at the table of a friend
the latter was visiting for the first time.
* * * * *
A stag party below stairs broke up late, or rather early in the morning.
The wife, who was thrifty, could not sleep for the thought of the
quantity of whiskey that must have been consumed. She eagerly called down
the stairs to the maid, “How many bottles of whiskey have they used,
Betty?” The girl, who had not to pay for the whiskey but who had to fetch
water from the well, replied, “I dinna ken, mem, but they’ve drunken sax
gang o’ watter.”
* * * * *
When men used to drink till they fell under the table, one of a party who
did not wish to go to excess followed the example of some and slid to
the floor; presently he felt a small pair of hands about his throat. On
asking what he was doing there came the reply, “Sir, I’m the lad to lowse
the neckties.”
MISCELLANEOUS TOASTS AND SENTIMENTS
A chiel’s amang ye takin’ notes and, faith, he’ll prent it!
* * * * *
A garland for the hero’s crest
And twined by her whom he loves best.
* * * * *
And here’s to a’ wha drink this night,
And here’s to them that’s far awa’,
And muckle joy and pure delight.
* * * * *
And so suppose now, while the things go away,
By way of a grace we all stand up and say
How pleasant it is to have money, heigh ho,
How pleasant it is to have money!
* * * * *
And there in soul sunshine, shall bloom evermore
The mem’ry of Burns, the bard of the Poor.
* * * * *
Auld Lang Syne.
* * * * *
Barley rigs; may we experience a few of Burns’ happy nights among them.
* * * * *
Dinna’ forget.
* * * * *
God loves man when he refrains from sin,
The De’il loves man when he persists therein,
The world loves man, when riches on him flow,
And you’d love me could I pay what I owe.
* * * * *
Gude nicht, and joy be wi’ you a’.
Gude Nicht.
* * * * *
Health to the man, death to the fish, and good growth to all in the
ground.
* * * * *
Here’s to him that has the right
And yet received the wrang,
Has five shillings in his pouch
And yet he wants a crown.
* * * * *
Here’s to him that’s out
And no to him that pits him out,
And de’il turn all their insides out
That doesna drink this toast about.
* * * * *
Happy’s the man that belongs to nae party
But sits in his ain house and looks at Benarty.
* * * * *
Here’s health to the sick, stilts to the lame, claise to the back and
brose to the wame.
* * * * *
Here’s health, wealth, wit and meal.
* * * * *
Here’s to a’ your fouk an’ a’ our fouk, an’ a’ the fouk that’s been kind
to your fouk an’ our fouk; an’ if a’ fouk had aye been as kind to fouk as
your fouk’s been to our fouk, there wad aye hae been guid fouk i’ the
warld sin fouks bin fouks.
* * * * *
Here’s to horn, corn, wool and yarn.
* * * * *
In politics if thou would’st mix,
And mean thy fortunes be;
Bear this in mind, be deaf and blind,
Let great folks hear and see.
* * * * *
Mair sense and mair siller.
* * * * *
May every Scotchman be fed with crowdy-mowdy, lang-kail, and ranty-tanty.
* * * * *
May liberty meet wi’ success!
May prudence protect her frae evil!
May tyrants and tyranny tine in the mist
And wander their way to the devil.
* * * * *
May poortith never throw us in the dirt, or gowd into the high saddle.
* * * * *
May the mouse ne’er leave our meal pock with the tear in his ee.
* * * * *
May the winds o’ adversity never blaw open our door.
* * * * *
May want, discontent and turbulence cease,
May men live thegither in concord and peace,
May Scotland aye yield a rich crop an’ fleece
To keep our hands full wi’ the spinnin’ o’t.
* * * * *
Nae treasures, nor pleasures,
Could mak’ us happy lang;
The heart aye’s the part aye,
That mak’s us right or wrang.
* * * * *
Of all the arts beneath the heaven
That man has found or God has given,
None draws the soul so sweet away
As Music’s melting mystic lay.
* * * * *
O’ a’ roads to pleasure that ever were tried
There’s nane half so sure as our ain fireside.
* * * * *
O wad some pow’r the giftie gie us,
To see oursels as others see us!
It wad frae mony a blunder free us.
* * * * *
Success for aye to the guid auld game,
To the grand old game of the gowff.
* * * * *
To horny hands and weather-beaten haffets (cheeks).
* * * * *
To the rending o’ rocks and the pu’in’ doun o’ auld houses.
* * * * *
The anniversary of St. Andrew’s Day and all its convivial meetings.
* * * * *
The Duke of Argyll and the Campbell clan.
* * * * *
Let the waiter bring clean glasses,
With a fresh supply of wine—
For I see by all your faces,
In my wishes you will join.
It is not the charms of beauty,
Which I purpose to explain,
We awhile will leave that duty,
For a more prevailing theme.
To the health I’m now proposing,
Let’s have one full glass at least,
No one here can think’t imposing—
’Tis—“The Founder of the Feast!”
* * * * *
The Highland fling: may it ever cast care away.
* * * * *
The nobles of Caledonia and their ladies.
* * * * *
The poet of chivalry, Sir Walter Scott.
* * * * *
The Scotch bagpipe but not the Scotch fiddle.
* * * * *
The Scotch Greys: that made the Eagles look black.
* * * * *
The Scotchman’s proverb: Get a good price but give good measure.
* * * * *
The three great generals—General Peace, General Plenty and General
Satisfaction.
* * * * *
Then dormy hame we can sing through the round
And die like golfers keen.
We’ve played fu’ well the short game and lang,
The game on the golfing green.
* * * * *
Then gently scan your brother man,
Still gentler sister woman;
Tho’ they may gang a kennin wrang,
To step aside is human,
Then at the balance let’s be mute,
We never can adjust it;
What’s done we partly may compute,
But know not what’s resisted.
* * * * *
“To each and all a fair good night,
And pleasing dreams and slumbers bright.”
* * * * *
To Edinburgh—the penniless lass wi’ the lang pedigree.
* * * * *
To Burns
Touched by his hand, the wayside weed
Becomes a flower; the lowest reed
Beside the stream
Is clothed with beauty; gorse and grass
And heather, where his footsteps pass
The brighter seem.
* * * * *
To Burns
For now he haunts his native land
As an immortal youth; his hand
Guides every plough:
He sits beside each ingle-nook;
His voice is in each rushing brook
Each rustling bough.
* * * * *
To the memory of Sir Ralph Abercromby, and may the laurels which Scotland
gained when he fell bloom to the latest ages untarnished by any of her
future warriors.
* * * * *
To the memory of Robert Bruce.
* * * * *
To the Shakespeare of novelists, Sir Walter Scott.
* * * * *
Up wi’ my ploughman, lad,
And hey my merry ploughman,
Of a’ the trades that I do ken
Commend me to the ploughman.
* * * * *
When driving ceases, may we still be able
To play the shorts, putt and be comfortable.
* * * * *
Yonder’s the moon, I ken her horn,
She’s blinkin’ in the lift sae hie;
She shines fu’ bright to wyle us hame,
But by my sooth she’ll wait a wee!
SCOTTISH TOASTS
A MISCELLANY
Most folks give their sentiments after their song,
But I cannot say that is my teacher;
To part heart and harmony sure must be wrong,
Song and Sentiment I join together:
So at once in a Song I’ll my Sentiments give,
Sure you’ll all approve what I am giving—
“Here’s our noble selves, and long may we live,
With dear Scotland, the land that we lived in.”
Then here’s “Lovely Woman!” each man will drink that,
For in each care and ill she’ll relieve him;
“Sweet home,” for though homely, ’tis home for all that,
With “a friend and a bottle to give him.”
Here’s “may honour and honesty never decline,”
’Tis the wish of my heart, I assure ye;
“May justice and mercy for ever entwine,”
With our glorious “Trial by Jury.”
May the moment now present, of life be the worst,
May the honest heart ne’er know distress,
May we have in our arms what in heart we love best,
All those that bless us may we bless.
“A good trade and well paid” which ensures “peace and plenty;”
“Honest men, pretty women” for ever!
“Playhouses full, and Workhouses empty,”
And “may worth and want finally sever.”
“Here’s the heart that can feel for another’s distress,”
And “the man that was never ungrateful;”
Here’s “may we the smiles of good humour possess,
With friends around, cheerful and faithful.”
Here’s “our own wooden walls,” that still lay our foes flat,
With those treasures, wives, children, and friends,
“Here’s our own noble selves,” and now having drank that,
Here my Song of good Sentiment ends.
THE END.
*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SCOTTISH TOASTS ***
Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will
be renamed.
Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright
law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works,
so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United
States without permission and without paying copyright
royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part
of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project
Gutenberg™ electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG™
concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark,
and may not be used if you charge for an eBook, except by following
the terms of the trademark license, including paying royalties for use
of the Project Gutenberg trademark. If you do not charge anything for
copies of this eBook, complying with the trademark license is very
easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose such as creation
of derivative works, reports, performances and research. Project
Gutenberg eBooks may be modified and printed and given away—you may
do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks not protected
by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the trademark
license, especially commercial redistribution.
START: FULL LICENSE
THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
To protect the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting the free
distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase “Project
Gutenberg”), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full
Project Gutenberg™ License available with this file or online at
www.gutenberg.org/license.
Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg™
electronic works
1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg™
electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all
the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or
destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in your
possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a
Project Gutenberg™ electronic work and you do not agree to be bound
by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person
or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
1.B. “Project Gutenberg” is a registered trademark. It may only be
used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few
things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg™ electronic works
even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See
paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project
Gutenberg™ electronic works if you follow the terms of this
agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg™
electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below.
1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation (“the
Foundation” or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection
of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works. Nearly all the individual
works in the collection are in the public domain in the United
States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the
United States and you are located in the United States, we do not
claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing,
displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as
all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope
that you will support the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting
free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg™
works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the
Project Gutenberg™ name associated with the work. You can easily
comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the
same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg™ License when
you share it without charge with others.
1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are
in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States,
check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this
agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing,
distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any
other Project Gutenberg™ work. The Foundation makes no
representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any
country other than the United States.
1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other
immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg™ License must appear
prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg™ work (any work
on which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” appears, or with which the
phrase “Project Gutenberg” is associated) is accessed, displayed,
performed, viewed, copied or distributed:
This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online
at www.gutenberg.org. If you
are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws
of the country where you are located before using this eBook.
1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is
derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not
contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the
copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in
the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are
redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase “Project
Gutenberg” associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply
either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or
obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg™
trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is posted
with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any
additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms
will be linked to the Project Gutenberg™ License for all works
posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the
beginning of this work.
1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg™
License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg™.
1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
Gutenberg™ License.
1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including
any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access
to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg™ work in a format
other than “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other format used in the official
version posted on the official Project Gutenberg™ website
(www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense
to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means
of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original “Plain
Vanilla ASCII” or other form. Any alternate format must include the
full Project Gutenberg™ License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg™ works
unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
access to or distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works
provided that:
• You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
the use of Project Gutenberg™ works calculated using the method
you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed
to the owner of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark, but he has
agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid
within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are
legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty
payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in
Section 4, “Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg
Literary Archive Foundation.”
• You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg™
License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all
copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue
all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg™
works.
• You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of
any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of
receipt of the work.
• You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
distribution of Project Gutenberg™ works.
1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project
Gutenberg™ electronic work or group of works on different terms than
are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing
from the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the manager of
the Project Gutenberg™ trademark. Contact the Foundation as set
forth in Section 3 below.
1.F.
1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project
Gutenberg™ collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg™
electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may
contain “Defects,” such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate
or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other
intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or
other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or
cannot be read by your equipment.
1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the “Right
of Replacement or Refund” described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
Gutenberg™ trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
Gutenberg™ electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
DAMAGE.
1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you
received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium
with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you
with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in
lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person
or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second
opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If
the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing
without further opportunities to fix the problem.
1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you ‘AS-IS’, WITH NO
OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT
LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of
damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement
violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the
agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or
limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or
unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the
remaining provisions.
1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
providing copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in
accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the
production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg™
electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses,
including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of
the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this
or any Project Gutenberg™ work, (b) alteration, modification, or
additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg™ work, and (c) any
Defect you cause.
Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg™
Project Gutenberg™ is synonymous with the free distribution of
electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of
computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It
exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations
from people in all walks of life.
Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg™’s
goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg™ collection will
remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
and permanent future for Project Gutenberg™ and future
generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary
Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see
Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org.
Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non-profit
501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
Revenue Service. The Foundation’s EIN or federal tax identification
number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary
Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by
U.S. federal laws and your state’s laws.
The Foundation’s business office is located at 809 North 1500 West,
Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email contact links and up
to date contact information can be found at the Foundation’s website
and official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact
Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
Literary Archive Foundation
Project Gutenberg™ depends upon and cannot survive without widespread
public support and donations to carry out its mission of
increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
freely distributed in machine-readable form accessible by the widest
array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations
($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
status with the IRS.
The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations
where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND
DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular state
visit www.gutenberg.org/donate.
While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
approach us with offers to donate.
International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
Please check the Project Gutenberg web pages for current donation
methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other
ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To
donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate.
Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg™ electronic works
Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project
Gutenberg™ concept of a library of electronic works that could be
freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and
distributed Project Gutenberg™ eBooks with only a loose network of
volunteer support.
Project Gutenberg™ eBooks are often created from several printed
editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in
the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not
necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper
edition.
Most people start at our website which has the main PG search
facility: www.gutenberg.org.
This website includes information about Project Gutenberg™,
including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
