Citt and Bumpkin (1680)

By Sir Roger L'Estrange

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Title: Citt and Bumpkin (1680)

Author: Sir Roger L'Estrange
        B. J. Rahn

Release Date: December 19, 2011 [EBook #38342]

Language: English


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  THE AUGUSTAN REPRINT SOCIETY

      SIR ROGER L'ESTRANGE

        CITT AND BUMPKIN
             (1680)

         _INTRODUCTION_
               BY
           B. J. RAHN

         [Illustration]

      PUBLICATION NUMBER 117
  WILLIAM ANDREWS CLARK MEMORIAL LIBRARY
  UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA, LOS ANGELES
             1965


GENERAL EDITORS

Earl Miner, _University of California, Angeles_

Maximillian E. Novak, _University of California, Los Angeles_

Lawrence Clark Powell, _Wm. Andrews Clark Memorial Library_


ADVISORY EDITORS

Richard C. Boys, _University of Michigan_

John Butt, _University of Edinburgh_

James L. Clifford, _Columbia University_

Ralph Cohen, _University of California, Los Angeles_

Vinton A. Dearing, _University of California, Los Angeles_

Arthur Friedman, _University of Chicago_

Louis A. Landa, _Princeton University_

Samuel H. Monk, _University of Minnesota_

Everett T. Moore, _University of California, Los Angeles_

James Sutherland, _University College, London_

H. T. Swedenberg, Jr., _University of California, Los Angeles_


CORRESPONDING SECRETARY

Edna C. Davis, _Wm. Andrews Clark Memorial Library_




INTRODUCTION


According to discoveries made by Titus Oates in the autumn of 1678,
England was threatened by a Roman Catholic conspiracy headed by the Pope
and the King of France, whose objectives were: 1) to murder the King, 2)
to overthrow the government, and 3) to destroy the Protestant religion.
Although Oates was subsequently exposed as a charlatan, in 1678-81 a
panic held the nation in an iron grip, and belief in the Plot fostered
irrational and reprehensible excesses. The Popish Plot was not so much a
religious fraud as a political _cause célèbre_, the significance of
which can be assessed only in the context of the republican movement of
the seventeenth century to redistribute power within the state. The
conflict which developed between Charles II and the Parliament during
the 1670's reflects the struggle for ascendance of two opposing theories
of government: absolute versus limited monarchy. Charles, supported by
the Tories and the Anglican clergy, was determined to maintain all the
hereditary privileges and powers of an English monarch, while the Whig
coalition in Parliament, led by the Earl of Shaftesbury, was intent upon
subordinating the power of the Crown to the will of Parliament. The
Opposition realized almost immediately that in the Popish Plot lay means
for furthering their schemes of political reform. Under the guise of
counteracting the Plot, they hoped to enact legislation to: 1) increase
parliamentary power, 2) limit the prerogatives of the King, 3) control
the succession, and 4) curtail the influence of the prelacy. Published
in 1680 when the Plot crisis was at its peak, _Citt and Bumpkin_ is one
of a series of pamphlets by Sir Roger L'Estrange written to support the
policies of Charles II and to defend the government from attacks by the
Whig Opposition.

Since James, Duke of York, had given the Whigs every reason to believe
that he would oppose their policies vehemently after he came to the
throne, they decided to take advantage of the public resentment against
him as a Roman Catholic to try to pass a bill in Parliament to exclude
him from the succession. James had already been accused of conspiring
with the French King to overthrow Protestantism in England and institute
Roman Catholicism as the state religion. In addition to reiterating this
charge, the Whigs enlarged upon the awkwardness and danger bound to
arise in a Protestant nation with a Roman Catholic ruler. The question
of a Popish successor soon came to be the principal concern of
Parliament, and the battle over the Exclusion Bill dominated the
political scene in 1679-81. While the Exclusion crisis was at its
height, Charles II circumvented this plan to deprive the Duke of York of
his hereditary title by repeatedly proroguing and dissolving Parliament
so that the bill could not be brought to a final vote. This series of
adjournments began when Charles dissolved the Parliament soon after the
Exclusion Bill was first introduced in the spring of 1679. After a
bitterly fought election contest during the summer of 1679, the newly
constituted Parliament assembled in October only to be prorogued once
again until 26 January 1680. The Whigs were furious and began to fear
that the King had no intention of permitting the Parliament to meet even
in January. Powerless to act legally out of Parliament, the Whigs
realized that a long series of postponements would lead to the defeat of
all their carefully drafted legislative plans. To combat Charles'
delaying tactics, the Opposition hit upon the expedient of petitioning
him to allow Parliament to sit. By a strong demonstration of popular
will, they hoped to force the King to comply with their demands.

Under the leadership of Shaftesbury and his followers in the Green
Ribbon Club, the Whigs achieved a degree of party organization and
efficiency in the autumn and winter of 1679-80 which remained unrivalled
during the seventeenth century.[1] While petitions were being printed in
London, the country was divided into districts; then petitions were
distributed to party agents everywhere who systematically canvassed for
signatures. In London, blank petitions were conveniently placed in
coffee houses and taverns; pens and inkstands appeared in the Strand and
at the Royal Exchange. Since these petitions were designed as
instruments to convey the will of the masses, emphasis was placed on
collecting large numbers of signatures with scant concern for the
political, economic, or social status of the subscribers. According to
the Tory historian Roger North, the people were warned by the promoters
of the petitions that, if the King were allowed to govern without a
Parliament, despotism would inevitably ensue, followed by a resurgence
of Popery.[2] Frightened, and in some cases confused by these formidable
predictions and threats, many people (especially in the country)
subscribed. After the canvassing had been completed, the petitions were
sent to London for presentation to the King.

The petitions themselves were phrased inoffensively enough, stressing
the fact that the Popish Plot had created a state of national emergency
and requesting that Parliament be called to deal with this danger. The
first petition, _The Humble Address and Advice of several of the Peeres
of this Realm For the Sitting of the Parliament_, was presented to the
King at Whitehall on 7 December by ten Whig peers. Charles accepted the
petition and dismissed them. But he could not dismiss the rumors of
countless other petitions in preparation and the unavoidable disturbance
such an onslaught would produce. Since the petitions were not promoted
through official channels, and since there was evidence that they were
designed to create tumult for seditious ends, Charles denounced them as
illegal. Moreover, on 11 December the King issued a Royal Proclamation
forbidding seditious and tumultuous petitioning. The effects of the
Proclamation were twofold. The Tories, who objected to petitioning as a
popular movement carried on by men without substance or position,
received the Proclamation everywhere as an expression of the King's
disapproval, and cited it as an authority to discourage others from
promoting and subscribing to petitions. The Whigs, on the other hand,
protested that petitioning was the legal right of the subject and
resumed their petitioning activities with added vigor.

In order to demonstrate his firm resolve not to be intimidated in the
exercise of his prerogative to call and dismiss Parliament, and in order
to rob the petitioning movement of its impetus by destroying its
immediate objective, Charles issued a second Proclamation on 11 December
proroguing Parliament from 26 January to 11 November 1680. Spurred on by
the realization that so long a recess would utterly ruin their hopes,
the Whigs directed considerable effort toward promoting an official
petition from the City of London.[3] Because of the power and prestige
of the City, the Whigs felt that such a petition would lend
encouragement to those being prepared in the country. Accordingly, they
arranged to present a petition from the City of London for a vote in the
Common Council on 20 January. The King deliberately attempted to
frustrate the London petition by purging the City Council of disaffected
members through enforcement of the Act for Regulating Corporations. This
Act disqualified all Dissenters, who usually held Whig principles.
Consequently, by the time the petition was brought to a vote, the Tories
had gained enough support to defeat the referendum by a small margin.
Although this ballot was won in effect only by the votes of the Court of
Aldermen, it was accounted a great victory for the Court Party and left
the Whigs sorely disappointed.

The peak of petitioning activity occurred during the month of January,
and the atmosphere became increasingly more tense as the day approached
upon which Parliament was supposed to meet. The week following the
Common Council's rejection of the London petition was the most strained.
Petitions continued to appear daily, though the King received them with
marked disfavor and sharply rebuked the delegates who delivered them.
When Monday, 26 January, finally arrived, the air was charged with
excitement; everyone crowded to Westminster to see what would happen.
But Charles had no intention of capitulating. As soon as the Lords and
Commons were assembled, the King addressed them, reaffirming his
determination to prorogue them and implying that the recent petitions
had served only to strengthen his resolve. The Whigs complained bitterly
but offered no open resistance. Charles had won the day and emerged with
his prerogative untarnished but not unchallenged. Shortly after this
_coup_, a counter reaction to petitioning set in, and a wave of loyalty
gained momentum and found expression in the form of abhorrence addresses
which poured in from all over the kingdom condemning the practice of
petitioning and professing loyalty to King and Court.

A fortnight after the prorogation of Parliament, just before the tide of
abhorrence addresses began to inundate the capital, on 10 February,
Narcissus Luttrell (indefatigable collector of Popish Plot ephemera)
recorded possession of the most important pamphlet written about
petitioning--Sir Roger L'Estrange's _Citt and Bumpkin_. Whether the date
which Luttrell gives represents the day of publication as well as the
day of purchase is a matter of conjecture, but his note does establish
the fact that the pamphlet was available to the public and in Luttrell's
hands by 10 February. Corroboration that the pamphlet was in circulation
before the end of February comes also from L'Estrange's bookseller Henry
Brome, who first advertised _Citt and Bumpkin_ for sale as already
published in a list of pamphlets dated 27 February. On 5 March in the
_Popish Courant_, a companion sheet to _The Weekly Pacquet of Advice
from Rome_, a violently anti-Papist newspaper in which L'Estrange was
frequently traduced, Henry Care condemned _Citt and Bumpkin_ in a list
of Catholic libels, "All publisht within little more than this
fortnight." Although less precise than Luttrell's note, the references
by Brome and Care help confirm the hypothesis that _Citt and Bumpkin_
was published by mid-February. Further evidence which helps to define
the date of publication occurs within the text of the pamphlet itself.
On page 24, L'Estrange mentions Henry Care's _History of the Damnable
Popish Plot_ and says it appeared on 26 January. This date in turn is
verified by two advertisements for the work in Care's own journal--one
on 23 January announcing its impending release, and another on 30
January commenting on its recent publication. Since _Citt and Bumpkin_
obviously appeared after Care's tract was released and before Luttrell's
entry was made, it must have been published during the fortnight between
26 January and 10 February.

_Citt and Bumpkin_ was not only the best written pamphlet on
petitioning, it was also the most ambitious in scope. Arranging his
material artfully, L'Estrange presented it with the wit and skill that
demonstrate unequivocably his mastery of the polemic medium. Unlike most
other party writers who confined their efforts to a few folio pages,
L'Estrange sustained his performance through 38 quarto leaves of
readable, entertaining prose. Moreover, his objectives and arguments
were much more comprehensive and sophisticated than those of the other
pamphleteers engaged in the controversy over petitioning. Most Tory
writers treated petitioning as an isolated issue and directed their
attack accordingly, failing to relate any of their arguments to each
other or to a larger scheme. Many authors attempted to defeat
petitioning by identifying the petitions of 1680 with those of the
1640's leading up to the Civil War. In addition, some insisted that
petitioning was illegal and defended the Proclamation against it, while
others tried to discredit the organizers and promoters of petitions as
disaffected persons motivated by hopes of preferment and profit. At the
same time, they launched a collateral attack upon those members of
Parliament who actively encouraged petitioning. There was even a general
indictment of Parliament as a whole, suggesting that it intended to
usurp the King's prerogatives and take sovereignty upon itself. But
there was no definite, direct statement that a plot led by the petition
managers was actually underway to subvert the government. In _Citt and
Bumpkin_ L'Estrange accused the republicans and Dissenters of actively
promoting a Protestant Plot more insidious than the Popish Plot but with
identical goals: 1) to kill the King, 2) to undermine the government,
and 3) to destroy the established Church of England. Throughout the
pamphlet, which is an _exposé_ of this alleged conspiracy, L'Estrange
supplied a great deal of specific factual detail upholding his claims.
His objective was not merely to discredit petitioning, but to lessen
belief in the Popish Plot and to launch a counterattack against the
enemies of the Court. By indicating that petitioning was not an end in
itself but an integral part of a larger plan, L'Estrange managed to
censure petitioning _per se_, to increase its odium by linking it with
the greater disaster of rebellion and civil war, and yet to preserve a
sense of proportion by directing the brunt of his attack against the
Protestant Plot as a whole.

Although it is cast in the form of an ironic dialogue, _Citt and
Bumpkin_ has much in common with a dramatic skit. L'Estrange sketches
the setting, develops the characterization, provides realistic
conversation, and builds dramatic tension to a climax (or turning point
in the action), which is followed by a falling off of tension or
_dénouement_. As if to make the reading of parts easier, the speeches of
the characters are set in different type faces. L'Estrange even provides
stage directions and indicates action in the speeches of the characters.
Like many dramas, _Citt and Bumpkin_ begins _in medias res_ and draws
the reader immediately into the action. In a very natural fashion, the
subject of the conversation is defined and the scene is set within the
first four lines. The sense of setting is never destroyed, for
L'Estrange unobtrusively sustains it by occasional specific but natural
references to it in the course of the conversation.

The dialogue between Citt and Bumpkin takes place during a casual
encounter in a tavern, where the two fall to discussing religion and
politics over a cup of ale. As their names suggest, Citt and Bumpkin
represent a sophisticated London citizen and a naive country bumpkin.
While they are not fully realized dramatic characters, neither are they
mere bloodless stick figures. During the course of their conversation,
they reveal information about their personalities, their social and
economic status, their political affiliations, their religious
sympathies, their moral values, and their occupations. One learns from
Citt that he is an ex-felon who is employed as a party agent by a
political organization plotting to overthrow the government and
undermine the Church of England. Motivated only by ambition and avarice,
Citt is a completely immoral man who openly endorses a policy of
expediency, and who condones any act--no matter how evil--because he
believes that the end always justifies the means. As befits a partner in
crime, Bumpkin is Citt's _Doppelgänger_ in many ways. The essential
differences are those of experience and intelligence. Bumpkin is only
slightly less immoral and unscrupulous than Citt, but he is just as
hypocritical, lawless, and untruthful. As the two discuss how they
promoted petitions in the city and the country, Citt and Bumpkin admit
to all sorts of treacherous and Fraudulent practices. In addition, they
reveal the goals, the methods, the leaders, the strength, and the
immorality of the Protestant Plot. Ironically, they unintentionally
expose themselves and the Plot to the reader's censure; for, although
the characters seem to be oblivious to the immorality of their behavior,
the reader is not so insensitive. The reader contrasts their ethics and
conduct with ideal values, rejects their code as immoral, and carries
his judgment of the characters over into the real world to condemn the
petitioners as republican plotters.

To reinforce this ironic self-indictment by Citt and Bumpkin, L'Estrange
introduces a third character, Trueman, who enters like a _deus ex
machina_ to represent the abstract forces of truth, justice, and
morality--albeit with a Tory bias. Because he functions as an abstract
symbol in contrast with Citt and Bumpkin, who are very much of this
world, Trueman has a personality uncomplicated by any psychological
subtleties or idiosyncrasies which would emphasize his humanity. The
entrance of Trueman may well be regarded as the climax of this little
drama, for the plot unfolds gradually and dramatic tension builds to the
point of his intrusion, when the course of action is interrupted and
diverted in another direction by his arguments. Taking up the topics
previously discussed by Citt and Bumpkin while he was concealed in a
nearby closet, Trueman confronts them with their confessed treachery,
denounces their chicanery and folly, and refutes their political views
with Tory arguments. The fact that Trueman symbolizes extrahuman moral
forces lends authority to his defense of absolute monarchy and the
established Church.

Couched in an authentic colloquial style, the dialogue between Citt and
Bumpkin progresses in an entirely natural, credible manner. Their
conversation is animated, colorful, humorous, informative, and
purposeful. The direction of the conversation is logically dictated by
its substance; there is nothing artificial, contrived, or foreordained
about it. The interaction of personality is reflected in the verbal
exchange. As in a play, the development of the action depends upon each
character's immediate and genuine response to the statements made by the
other _dramatis personae_. Again, as in the theater, dramatic tension is
created as the plot unfolds and the reader waits to see what will happen
next. Except for one passage of extended quotation (pp. 32-33), the
dramatic realism is sustained effortlessly.

Although _Citt and Bumpkin_ was the first of L'Estrange's Popish Plot
pamphlets written in dialogue, he was thoroughly familiar with the form
and had often employed it in his polemic skirmishes during the Civil
War. In fact, L'Estrange found the genre so congenial that he chose to
write his famous newspaper _The Observator_ (1681-87) in dialogue. This
literary device, employed by hack writers, controversialists, and
eminent _littérateurs_, was extremely popular in England between 1660
and 1700 and was used to conspicuous advantage for discussing issues of
momentary importance as well as serious philosophical questions.
According to Eugene R. Purpus in his study of the "Dialogue in English
Literature, 1660-1725," few other literary forms had such universal and
continual appeal.[4] In an age when the drama was the reigning literary
fashion, the dialogue naturally enough had a concomitant vogue. Its
popularity is attested to by the large number of dialoguists as well as
by the bulk of their writing. As Purpus notes, party writers quickly
discovered that this genre was an excellent vehicle for presenting
highly controversial ideas and forceful arguments.

During the Restoration, there were no rigid conventions governing the
genre, and any work passed as a dialogue which represented a
conversation between two or more persons or which was organized in a
question-and-answer manner.[5] Frequently, dialogues resembled an
interrogation or a catechism rather than natural discourse between real
human beings. Often writers of such artificial dialogues abandoned any
attempt at characterization or conversational verisimilitude, merely
substituting "Q." and "A." to indicate a series of queries and
responses. Sometimes authors identified the speakers with proper names
but made no effort at actual characterization. Concern for dramatic
realism varied from writer to writer; and all too often, improbable
puppet-like creatures were represented in illogical, unbelievable, and
contrived conversations. The artistic integrity of a successful
dialogue, however, lies in the dramatic exchange of differing points of
view or the interplay of opposing arguments in realistic conversation
between credible characters with clearly differentiated personalities.

The stilted, artificial quality of some dialogues is in part
attributable to the fact that many writers turned to the genre as a
facile means of expressing a particular point of view.[6] As Purpus
observes, the inherent dramatic quality of the form is lost if: 1) the
writer substitutes invective, prejudice, and railing for realistic
conversation, and/or 2) the author obviously contrives the dialogue
merely to reflect his particular bias on a given question. On the other
hand, although some writers used the form as a convenient frame on which
to display their opinions, other writers erred by including too much
dramatic machinery. Dialogues of this sort almost became short dramas.

No matter what the content or objective purpose of dialogues, however,
they were uniformly written in what became known after the Restoration
as the "plain, easy, and familiar" style.[7] Sentences were more
conveniently broken up than heretofore, and there was increased
lightness of tone. Though there was still a great deal of invective,
Hugh Macdonald notes in "Banter in English Controversial Prose after the
Restoration," that banter became prominent in the literature of
disputation after 1660. On the other hand, "No one would expect to find
a clear-cut division between banter, satire, sarcasm, burlesque, and
abuse in every passage of a book written in the seventeenth century."[8]
As Mr. Macdonald states, it is largely a question of emphasis. Employing
a great deal of banter, Marvell reintroduced a tradition forgotten since
the Marprelate tracts--that of treating a grave subject lightly yet with
serious intention of reinforcing the argument. Restoration polemicists,
with L'Estrange in the vanguard, quickly realized the advantages of this
technique and claimed it as their own.

_Citt and Bumpkin_ survives close scrutiny according to the critical
criteria for evaluating dialogues suggested by Purpus and Macdonald.
Although L'Estrange does use the genre for a specific controversial end,
he does not lapse into a barren question-and-answer type of organization
nor into that of an artificial didactic catechism. While he sketches a
setting, develops characterization, and creates believable conversation,
L'Estrange does not err in the direction of over-dramatization either.
He provides all the requisite machinery to support the dramatic realism
necessary in a successful dialogue, but he goes no further. Throughout
_Citt and Bumpkin_, L'Estrange maintains the appropriate "plain, easy
and familiar" style. The sentence structure is simple, and clauses are
well punctuated. Abounding with colloquial expressions, contractions,
and slang, the vocabulary is common and especially suited to the low
characters. A bantering tone predominates, accompanied by passages
employing irony, satire, and invective. There is not enough invective,
however, to destroy the mood. If L'Estrange's Tory bias is perfectly
evident, it is not aggressive enough to prevent the accomplishment of
his polemic objectives. Although the republican political theories of
the Whigs are attacked satirically in the first part of _Citt and
Bumpkin_, they are stated and refuted in proper controversial style in
the final pages of the pamphlet. On the whole, _Citt and Bumpkin_
conforms to the conventions of a successful dialogue; where it does
not, the infringements are not great enough to destroy its artistic
integrity.

_Citt and Bumpkin's_ popularity was indisputable. Of all the pamphlets
about petitioning, it was by far the most widely read. It went into four
editions by June 1680 and a fifth in 1681. Although there were no
substantive changes in the various editions, the type was reset each
time, so implying a continuing demand for the pamphlet. Indeed, the
contemporary response was so overwhelming that within six weeks
L'Estrange wrote a sequel entitled, _Citt and Bumpkin, The Second Part;
Or, A Learned Discourse upon Swearing and Lying_. In addition, there
were many references in the Whig press denigrating L'Estrange and his
pamphlet; derogatory remarks appeared in newspapers, ballads, and poems.
In particular, three pamphlets were issued, replying directly to _Citt
and Bumpkin_ and attacking L'Estrange personally. The first and most
considerable of these rejoinders appeared on 16 March, a month after the
publication of _Citt and Bumpkin_, when its effect was being fully
realized and the need felt to combat it.

_A Dialogue Between Tom and Dick Over a Dish of Coffee Concerning
Matters of Religion and Government_, issued also as _Crack-fart and
Tony; Or, Knave and Fool_,[9] is a parody following closely the format
and arguments of _Citt and Bumpkin_. Having appropriated the framework
employed by L'Estrange, the author of _Tom and Dick_ adjusted it by a
series of simple substitutions from an attack on the Protestant Plot,
Dissenters, Schism, and republicans, to an assault on the Popish Plot,
Papists, Roman Catholicism, and loyalists. The parallels in setting and
characterization are established immediately, when Tom and Dick meet in
a coffee house and agree to hold a conversation in which Tom will speak,
write, invent, and hold forth as Citt had done, while Dick will hear,
believe, and speak in his turn (but to little purpose) like Bumpkin. The
parody breaks down, however, when one compares Trueman with Goodman, who
endorses Trueman's arguments rather than misrepresenting or opposing
them. Nor does Goodman observe Trueman's scrupulous care in replying to
all the issues raised by the other two characters. Throughout the
dialogue, the author manages to maintain dramatic realism and to sustain
a mock-serious tone in the absurd-but-credible verbal exchange between
his two buffoons.

The second rebuttal was released three months later on 14 June. Signed
E. P. (possibly Edward Phillips), _The Dialogue Betwixt Cit and Bumpkin
Answered_ replies not only to _Citt and Bumpkin_, but reflects upon
several other polemic tracts by L'Estrange, and attacks him _ad hominem_
from beginning to end. A long prefatory letter discussing the powers and
privileges of city corporations and the faults of L'Estrange's _Popery
in Masquerade_ precedes the dialogue, which preserves the same general
format and style of its target. The roles of the characters are only
roughly analogous, however, and the development of the argument is
retarded and obscured by the abuse of L'Estrange. All too often, the
argument is neither pertinent nor incisive. Unfortunately, E. P. lacks
all the vitality, wit, and imagination of his polemic adversary.
Incensed by E. P.'s scurrility, L'Estrange replied within three days to
all of his charges in _A Short Answer to a Whole Litter of Libels_.

Although it does not appear in Luttrell's _Popish Plot Catalogues_, the
third reply to _Citt and Bumpkin_, _Crack upon Crack: Or, Crack-Fart
Whipt with his own Rod, by Citt and Bumpkin_, can be dated approximately
upon the basis of internal evidence. References to L'Estrange's flight
to escape a sham plot against him in October, 1680, imply a late autumn
publication date. Purporting to answer both parts of _Citt and Bumpkin_,
this pamphlet does not deal with any of the arguments raised in either
work. The author abandons any attempt at parody, and instead borrows
details of setting from the popular _Letter from Legorn_ pamphlets which
appeared that year. The characters pursue the absconded Trueman (_i.e._,
L'Estrange) aboard a Mahometan (_i.e._, Papist) ship and lure him ashore
in order to seek revenge for their recent humiliation at his hands. The
dialogue contains four pages of unimaginative abuse of Trueman which
culminates in his drubbing by Citt and Bumpkin. Largely scatological,
this uninspired attack upon L'Estrange does not strike a single telling
blow against _Citt and Bumpkin_.

In fact, _Citt and Bumpkin_ enjoyed unqualified success despite the best
efforts of its various detractors. And its popularity was well deserved.
Appearing just when the unrest over petitioning was at its height, _Citt
and Bumpkin_ captured the interest and imagination of the public with
its cogent argument and witty satire.


NOTES


1: J. R. Jones, _The First Whigs_ (London, 1961), p. 117; Roger North,
_Examen, or an Enquiry into the Credit and Veracity of a Pretended
Complete History_ (London, 1740), p. 542.

2: North, p. 542.

3: Jones, pp. 119-20.

4: Eugene R. Purpus, "The Dialogue in English Literature, 1660-1725,"
_ELH_, XVII (1950), II. 58.

5: The information on the dialogue in this paragraph is taken from
Purpus, pp. 48-49.

6: Purpus, pp. 50-52.

7: Purpus, p. 48; Hugh Macdonald, "Banter in English Controversial Prose
after the Restoration," _Essays and Studies by Members of the English
Association_, XXXII (1946), 21-22.

8: Macdonald, p. 23.

9: One of L'Estrange's opponents nicknamed him the "Crack-fart of the
Nation" and the epithet stuck to him for years.


=Text=

  The text of _Citt and Bumpkin_
  here reprinted is the copy in
  the William Andrews Clark
  Memorial Library.




           CITT

            AND

          BUMPKIN.

            IN A

          DIALOGUE

            OVER

        A Pot of Ale,

         CONCERNING

           MATTERS

             OF

           RELIGION

             AND

          GOVERNMENT.

           _LONDON_,

  Printed for _Henry Brome_ at the Gun in S. _Pauls_
  Church-yard, 1680.




_Citt_ and _Bumkin_,

In a DIALOGUE, _&c._


_Citt._ So that you would know, _First_, how we _manag'd_ the
_Petition_; and _Secondly_, how it came to _miscarry_.

Bum. _Those are the two Points_, Citt, _but first take off your_ Pot,
_and then tell your_ Story; _you shall have mine afterward_.

    Committees to promote the Petitions.

_Citt._ There was no way, you must know, to carry the business clear,
without getting a _Vote_ of _Common-Council_ for the _Petition_; and so
making it an Act of the _City_: And in order to this End, we planted our
_Committees_ every where up and down, from _Algate_ to _Temple-barr_, at
convenient distances; some few of them in _Taverns_ but most at
_Coffee-houses_; as less liable to suspition. Now we did not call these
_Meetings_, _Committees_, but _Clubs_; and _there_ we had all Freedom
both for _Privacy_ and _Debate_: while the _Borough_ of _Southwark_,
_Westminster_, and the _Suburbs_, proceeded according to our Method.

Bum. _And what were these_ Committees _now to do_?

    Their Powers and Instructions.

_Citt._ Their _Commission_ was to procure _Subscriptions_, to justify
the Right of _Petitioning_, and to gain _Intelligence_: And then every
_Committee_ had one man at least in it that wrote _short-hand_.

Bum. _Well, and what was he to do?_

_Citt._ It was his part to go smoking up and down from One Company to
another, to see who was _for_ us, and who _against_ us: and to take
Notes of what people said of the _Plot_, or of the _Kings Witnesses_, or
against this way of _Petitioning_.

Bum. _But how came those Committees (as ye call 'um) by their_
Commissions?

    Two Grand Committees.

_Citt._ For that, let me tell you, we had _two Grand Committees_, that
adjourn'd from place to place, as they saw occasion: But they met most
commonly at _Two Coffee-houses_; the _One_ near _Guild-Hall_, the
_Other_ in the _Strand_; for you must take notice that we went on, hand
in hand with our _Neighbours_ in the _Main Design_.

Bum. _But you do not tell me yet who set up the_ Other Committees.

    The Office of the Grand Committees.

_Citt._ These two _Grand Committees_, I tell you, nominated and
appointed the _Sub-Committees_, gave them their _Orders_, and received
their _Reports_: It was their Office moreover to digest _Discoveries_,
and _Informations_; to instruct _Articles_, improve _Accusations_,
manage _Controversies_, defray the charge of _Intelligencers_, and
_Gatherers of hands_, to dispose of _Collections_; to influence the
_Anglicus_'s and _Domesticks_, and fortify those that were weak in the
Faith; to furnish matter sometimes for _Narratives_.----

Bum. _What dost thou mean by_ Narratives, Citt?

_Citt._ They are only _Strange Storys_; as that of the _Dragon_ in
_Essex_; _Earth-quakes_, _Sights in the Air_, _Prodigies_, and the like.

Bum. _One would think it should not be worth their while, to busy their
heads about such Fooleries as these._

    Stories of Prodigies startle the Common People.

_Citt._ Now this is thy simplicity _Bumpkin_, for there is not any thing
that moves the hearts of the People so effectually toward _the Work of
the Lord_, especially when the _Narrative_ carries some _Historical
Remarque_ in the Tayl of it: As for the purpose, _this or that happen'd
in such a Kings Reign, and soon after such and such troubles befell the
Church and State_: such a _Civil War_, such or such a _Persecution_, or
_Invasion_ follow'd upon it. When the People perceive once that the Lord
hath declared himself against the Nation, in these tokens of his
Displeasure, the Multitude seldom fail of helping the Judgment forward.

Bum. _I don't know what ye call your_ Committees, _but Our Gentry had
their_ Meetings _too; and there was a great Lord or two among 'um that
shall be Nameless_.

_Citt._ We could shew you _othergates Lords_ among _Us_, I'le assure
you, then any you have; but let that passe.

Bum. _You told me that your_ Committees _were to procure_ Subscriptions;
_we were hard put to't, I'm sure, in the_ Country _to get_ Hands.

    The way of getting hands in and about _London_.

_Citt._ And so were we in the City _Bumpkin_; and if it had not been to
advance the _Protestant Interest_, I'de have been torn to pieces by wild
Horses, before I'de have done what I did. But _extraordinary Cases_ must
have _extraordinary allowances_. There was hardly a _Register_ about the
Town that scap'd us for _Names_: _Bedlam_, _Bridewell_, all the
_Parish-books_, nay the very _Goals_, and _Hospitalls_; we had our
_Agents_ at all _Publick Meetings_, _Court_, _Church_, _Change_, all the
_Schools_ up and down; _Masters_ underwrit for their _Children_, and
_Servants_, _Women_ for their _Husbands_ in the _West-Indies_, nay we
prevail'd upon some _Parsons_, to engage for their whole
_Congregations_; we took in _Jack Straw_, _Wat Tyler_, and the whole
Legend of _Poor Robins Saints_ into our List of _Petitioners_; and the
_same Names_ serv'd us in four or five _several places_. And where's the
hurt of all this now? So long as the Cause it self is Righteous.

    Several ways of getting Hands in the Country.

Bum. _Nay, the thing was well enough_ Citt, _if we could but have gone
through with it: And you shall see now that we were put to our shifts in
the_ Country, _as well as you in the_ City. _I was employ'd you must
know, to get_ Names _at_ four shillings a Hundred, _and I had all my_
Real Subscriptions _written at such a distance, one from another, that I
could easily clap in a Name or two betwixt 'um; and then I got as many_
School-boys _as I could, to underwrite after the same manner, and after
this, fill'd up all those spaces with_ Names _that I either_ Remember'd,
_or_ Invented _my self, or could get out of two or three_
Christning-books. _There are a World (ye know) of_ Smiths, Browns,
Clarks, Walkers, Woods, _so that I furnish'd my Catalogue with a matter
of Fifty a piece of these_ Sir-names_, which I_ Christen'd _my self. And
besides, we had all the_ Non-conformist Ministers _in the_ Country _for
us, and they brought in a power of hands_.

    The Protestant Dissenters great Promoters of the Petition.

_Citt._ What do you talk of _your Non-conformists_? They do but work
_Journey-work_ to _Ours_. We have the _Heads_ of all the _Protestant
Dissenters_ in the _Nation_ here in this Town, why, we have more
_Religions_, _Bumpkin_, in _this City_, then you have _People_ in your
whole _Country_.

Bum. _Ay, and 'tis a great blessing too, that when_ Professors _are at
so mighty Variance among_ themselves_, there should be so wonderfull an_
Agreement _in the_ Common Cause.

_Citt._ And that's notably observ'd, _Bumkin_; for so we found it here.
The _Presbyterian_ got hands of _His Party_; the _Independent_ of _His_;
the _Baptist_ of _His_; the _Fifth-Monarchy_ man of _His_; and so
throughout all our Divisions: and we had still the most zealous man in
His way, to gather the _Subscriptions_: And when they had completed
their _Roll_, they discharg'd themselves as Naturally into the _Grand
Committee_, as _Rivers_ into the _Sea_. And then we were sure of all the
_Republicans_.

Bum. _But after all this_ Care _and_ Industry_, how was it possible for
the business to_ Miscarry?

_Citt._ Why I know 'tis laid in our dish, that when we had set the whole
Kingdome agogg upon _Petitioning_, our hearts would not serve us to go
through stitch, and so we drew our own necks out of the Collar, and left
the Countries in the Lurch.

Bum. _Nay that's the Truth on't,_ Citt_; We stood all gaping for_ London
_to lead the way_.

_Citt._ The great work that we look't upon was the gaining of a
_well-affected Common-Council_; which we secur'd upon the _Election_,
with all the skill, and watchfullness imaginable.

Bum. _And that was a huge point_ Citt; _but how were ye able to compasse
it_?

    Tricks to defeat Elections.

_Citt._ Why we had no more to do, then to mark those that we knew were
not for our turns, either as _Courtiers_, or _Loose-livers_, or
_half-Protestants_, and their business was done.

Bum. _We went the same way to work too in the_ Country_, at all our_
Elections; _for it is a Lawfull Policy, you know, to lessen the
Reputation of an Enemy_.

_Citt._ Nay we went further still; and set a _Report_ a foot upon the
_Exchange_, and all the _Coffee-houses_ and _Publique Houses_
thereabouts, which held from _Change-time_, till the very _Rising_ of
the _Common-Councill_, when the _Petition_ was _laid aside_; that past
so currant, that no mortall doubted the Truth on't.

Bum. _But you ha' not told me what that_ Report _was yet_.

_Citt._ It was this, _that the King had sent a Message to the City to
let them understand that he took notice how much they stood affected to
the_ Petition; _that he expected they would proceed upon it; and that
his Majesty was ready to give them_ a gracious Answer.

Bum. _But was this fair dealing, Brother?_

_Citt._ Did not _Abraham_ say of _Sarah, She's my Sister_?

Bum. _Well thou'rt a heavenly man_, Citt! _but come to the Miscarriage
it self_.

    The Petition laid aside in the _Common-Council_.

_Citt._ After as Hopefull a _Choice_ as ever was made, we procur'd a
_Common-Councill_: where the _Petition_ was put to the _Vote_, and it
was carry'd in the _Commons_ by _two Voyces_, for the presenting it, and
by _Fourteen_, or _Fifteen Votes_ in the _Court of Aldermen_, on the
_Negative_.

Bum. _So that_ your Damn'd Aldermen_, and_ our Damn'd Justices, _have
ruin'd us both in_ City _and_ Country.

_Citt._ Hang'um, they are most of them _Church-Papists_; but we should
have dealt well enough with _them_, if it had not been for that
confounded _Act_ for _Regulating Corporations_.

Bum. _Prethee let me understand that, for I know nothing on't._

    The Act for Corporations brake the neck on't.

_Citt._ Take notice then that this Devillish Statute has provided, that
_no man shall serve as a_ Common-Councell man, _but upon condition of
taking three_ Oaths, _and subscribing_ one Declaration, _therein
mention'd; and having taken the_ Sacrament _of the_ Lords Supper,
_according to the Rites of the Church of_ England, _within one year next
before his Election_. Now it so fell out, that what with this _Act_, and
a _Court-Letter_ for putting it in _Execution_, a matter of _thirty_ of
our _Friends_ were put _by_, as not duly qualify'd; And upon this Pinch
we lost it. Nay let me tell ye as a friend, there were at least _twenty_
or _thirty_ of the rest too, that would hardly have past Muster.

Bum. _But is this certain?_

_Citt._ Why I am now in my Element, _Bumkin_; for thou know'st my
Education has been toward the Law.

Bum. _This was a Plaguy jobb_, Citt, _but we must look better to our
Hitts next bout_.

_Citt._ Nay my life for thine we'll have another touch for't yet. But
tell me in short; how came you off with your _Petition_ in the
_Country_?

Bum. _It went on for a good while prettily well at the_
Quarter-Sessions; _till at last one_ Cross-grain'd Curr _there upon the_
Bench _claw'd us all away to the Devill, and got an Order of Court
against it, while you would say what's this_.

_Citt._ But what did he say?

    The Petition baffled in the Country.

Bum. _Oh there was a great deal of stuff on't; the_ King, _and the_
Judges _(he said) had declared it to be_ Seditious, _and so they were to
take it. That they sat there to_ keep _the_ Kings Peace, _not to
countenance the_ Breaking _of it; and then (says he) these fellows don't
know what they would have_. One _Petitions for_ Chalk, _and_ Another
_for_ Cheese; _the Petition was at first_ for the meeting of the
Parliament; _and then they came to Twit the King with his_
Coronation-Oath, _and then_, Delinquents _must be brought to_
Punishment; _and then the_ Parliament _was to Sit as_ long _as_ they
pleas'd, _and at_ last, _every man must be_ mark'd _for a_ Common Enemy
_that would not_ Subscribe _it. So that first they would have the_
Parliament Sit; _and then they'd cut 'um out their work; and in fine, it
was little other then a_ Petition _against_ those _that would_ not
Petition. _He said there were Ill practices in the getting of hands, and
so they threw out the_ Petition, _and order'd an_ Enquiry _into the_
Abuses.

_Citt._ Well, there's no remedy but Patience.

Bum. _I had need of Patience I'm sure, for they're Examining the Hands
allready, as hard as they can drive; You'l see me in the_ Gazette next
Thursday, _as sure as a Gun_.

_Citt._ Why then we must play the _Domestique_ against _him, next
Fryday_.

Bum. _Nay, I'm sure to be trounc'd for't to some tune, if I be_ taken.

_Citt._ Pre'thee what art affraid of? There's no _Treason_ in getting
hands to a _Petition_ man.

Bum. _No, that's true; but I have put in such a Lurry of_ Dog-Rogues;
_they cry_ they're defam'd, _with a Pox_, they'le have their remedy;
_and they make such a Bawling_.

_Citt._ Come, come, set thy heart at rest: and know that in this City
th'art in the very Sanctuary of the _Well-affected_. But 'tis good
however to prepare for the _worst_, and the _best_ (as they say) _will
help its self_. But art thou really afraid of being _taken_?

Bum. _And so would you be too, if you were in my condition, without a_
penny, _or a_ friend _in the world to help ye_.

    The blessing of having neither friends nor Mony.

_Citt._ Thou art two great Owls, _Bumkin_, in a very few words. _First_,
thou hast _great friends_ and do'st not _know on't_, and _Secondly_ thou
do'st not understand the _Blessing_, of having neither _Friends_, nor
_Money_. In one word, I'll see thee provided for; and in the mean time,
give me thy answer to a few questions.

I make no doubt but they that put thee into this _Trust_, and
_Employment_ of helping on the _Petition_, are men of _Estate_, and men
_well-inclin'd_ to the _Publique Cause_.

    Methods of _Popularity._

Bum. _O, their_ Landlords _and_ Masters _are men of huge Estates; but
'tis the_ Tenants, _and the_ Stewards _that I have to do withall. But
then (do you mark me) those people are all in all with their Masters._

_Citt._ I suppose you may be known to the _Landlords_ and _Masters
themselves_ too. Do they ever take any notice of you?

Bum. _Yes, yes; I go often to their Houses man, and they speak mighty
kindly to me; and there's nothing but_ Honest Obadiah, _and_ Good
Obadiah _at every turn; and then the Men take me into the Kitchin, or
into the Cellar, or so. And let me tell you_ Citt, _if it had not been
for them once, I had been plaguyly paid off in the_ Spirituall Court
_upon a certain Occasion_.

_Citt._ That's a very good sign of _Affection_ to the _Cause_, as I told
thee: and it would be never the worse if they were under a Cloud at
_Court_; for _an Honest Revenge_, ye know _goes a great way with a
tender Conscience_.

Bum. _I have hear'd some Inkling that way, but we'le scatter no words._

_Citt._ They never speak any thing to you in private, do they? As of
_Grievances_, (I mean) _Religion, the Liberty of the Subject_, and such
like?

Bum. _No, no, but they talk as other people do, of the_ Plot, _and the_
Jesuits, _and_ Popery, _and the_ French King, _and so_.

_Citt._ And what is the reason now, do ye think, that you are not
receiv'd into their _Bed-Chambers_, their _Closets_, into their _Arms_,
and into their very _Hearts_, as well as some other people as we know?

Bum. _Alas! what should they do with me? I'm not a man fit to keep them
Company._

    A Golden Sentence.

_Citt._ Why then _Honest Bumpkin_, here's a Golden Sentence for thee;
_Be Taken, Sifted, Imprison'd, Pillory'd_, and stand true to thy
_Principles_, and th'art company for the best _Lord_ in _Christendom_.
They'l never dare to trust thee till th' art _Jayl_ and _Pillory-proof_;
and the bringing of _thee into_ a Jayl would be a greater kindness, then
the fetching of _Another man Out_.

Bum. _Prethee Cit, tell me one thing by the way, hast thou ever made
Tryal of this Experiment thy self?_

    A Jayl is the High-way to Preferment.

_Citt._ To tell thee as a friend, I have try'd it, and I'm the best part
of a thousand pound the better for't. 'Tis certainly the high way to
preferment.

Bum. _And yet for all this_, Citt, _I have no minde in the World to be_
taken.

_Citt._ And that's because th' art an arrant buzzard; the Lord deliver
me from a fellow that has neither _Mony_, nor _Friends_, and yet's
afraid of being _Taken_. Why 'tis the very making of many a mans Fortune
to be _Taken_. How many men are there that give mony to be Taken, and
make a _Trade_ on't; _Nay_ happy is the man that can but get any body to
_Take_ him. Why I tell ye, there are people that will _quarrel_ for't,
and make _Friends_ to be _Taken_. 'Tis a common thing in _Paris_, for a
man in _One six Months_, to start out of a _Friendless_, and _Monyless_
condition, into an Equipage of _Lacquays_ and _Coaches_; and all this by
nicking the blessed Opportunities of being _discreetly Taken_.

Bum. _I have heard indeed of a man that set fire to_ one Old House, _and
got as much Mony by a_ Brief _for't, as built him_ two New ones.

_Citt._ Have not I my self heard it cast in a fellows Teeth, _I was the
making of you_, Sirrah, _though y' are so high now a body must not speak
to you: You had never been_ Taken _and_ clapt up, Sirrah, _but for me_.

Bum. _Father! what Simpletons we_ Country-folks _are to you_ Citizens!

_Citt._ Now put the case _Bumpkin_, that you were _Taken, Examin'd_ and
_Committed_, provided you _stand to your Tackle_, y'are a Made man
already; but if you _shrink in the wetting_, y'are lost.

Bum. _Pray'e what do you mean by_ standing to my Tackle?

_Citt._ You must be sure to keep your self upon a Guard, when y'are
before the _Justice_; and not to be either _wheedled_, or _frighten'd_
into any _Discovery_; for they'le be trying a thousand Tricks with you.

Bum. _But may I deny any thing that's charg'd upon me, point-blank, if I
be guilty of it?_

    A Salvo for a Lye.

_Citt._ Yes, in the case of _self-preservation_, you may; but you must
be sure then that no body can _disprove_ you; for if it be _known_, 'tis
a _Scandall_, and no longer _Lawfull_: Your best way will be not to
answer any Questions against your self.

Bum. _But now you have brought me into a_ Goal, _you would do well to
tell me how I shall get out again_.

    The Benefits of a Prison.

_Citt._ Why before you turn your self thrice in your _Kennell_, (if
_Baylable_) Y'are out again, upon a _Habeas Corpus_: But in the
mean time, the Town rings of your _Commitment_, the _Cause_ of it, and
how bravely you carry'd it upon your _Examination_; all which shall be
Reported to your Advantage; and by this time, y'are Celebrated for the
_Peoples Martyr_. And now come in the _Bottles_, the _Cold-Pies_, and
the _Guynnies_: But you must lay your finger upon your Mouth, and keep
all as close as if the _Fayries_ had brought it.

Bum. _Pre'thee_, Citt, _wert thou ever bound_ Prentice _to a_ Statesman?

_Citt._ No, not altogether so neither; but I serv'd a Convenient time in
two of his Majesties Houses; and there I learnt _My Politiques_; that is
to say, in _Newgate_, and the _Gate-house; Two schools_ (says one) _that
send more wise men into the World, then the_ four Inns of Court. Now let
your suffering be what it will, the _Merit_ of it will be rated
according to the _Difficulty_ and _hazzard_ of the _Encounter_: For
there's a great difference betwixt the Venture of a _Pillory_, and of a
_Gibbet_. But in what case soever; if you stand fast, and keep your
Tongue in your head, you shall want neither _Mony_, nor _Law_; nor
_Countenance_, nor _Friends_ in the _Court_, nor _Friends_ in the
_Jury_.

Bum. _Hold, hold_, Citt; _what if all my great Friends should deceive me
at last_?

_Citt._ They'le never dare to do that, for fear you should deceive
_them_. I have found the Experiment of it my self, and every _Term_
yields us fresh Instances of _people that make their Fortunes in a
trice, by a generous contempt of Principalities, and Powers_.

Bum. _Thou'rt a brave fellow_ Citt; _but pre'thee what may thy
Employment be at present, if a body may ask thee_?

    The Secretary to a Grand Committee.

_Citt._ _I_ am at this present, _Bumpkin, under the Rose, a
Secretary-Extraordinary_ to one of the _Grand Committees_ I told thee
of; and my business is to draw up _Impeachments, Informations,
Articles_; to lick over now and then a _Narrative_; and to deal with the
_Mercuries_ to publish nothing against the Interest of that Party: and
_in fine_, there's hardly any thing stirs, but I have a finger in't.
Mine is a business I can tell you, that brings in _Money_.

Bum. _I make no doubt on't_ Citt: _But could ye put me in a way to get a
little money too_?

_Citt._ We'l talk of that presently. You may think perhaps now the
_City-Petition's_ blown off, that our _Committee_ will have nothing to
do. But, I do assure you, businesse comes in so fast, upon us, that I
shall never be able to go through it without an _Assistant_; and if I
find you fit for't, you shall be the man.--Nay hold, let Me speak,
First; do you continue the use of your _Short-hand_?

Bum. _Yes, I do; and I have mended my_ Bastard-Secretary _very much
since you saw it_.

_Citt._ Will you be _Just_, _Diligent_, and _Secret_?

Bum. _I'le give you what security you'le ask, for my_ Truth _and_
Diligence; _and for my_ Secrecy, I could almost forget to _speak_.

_Citt._ That Figure pleases me; but I must shrift you further. How
stands your appetite to _Wine_ and _Women_?

Bum. _Why truly at the rate of_ other flesh and blood.

_Citt._ 'Tis not to barr ye neither; but what Liberties ye take, let
them be _Private_; and either to advance the _Common-cause_, or at
_spare hours_.

Bum. _You cannot ask or wish more then I'le do._

_Citt._ Only a word or two more, and then I'le let you into my affairs.
What course did you propound to your self, in case your _Petition_ had
succeeded? I ask this, because you seem so much troubl'd at the
Disappointment.

    Other Petitions upon the Anvill.

Bum. _Why if this_ Petition _had gone_ on, _and the_ Parliament _had_
met, _I was promis'd four or five_ Petitions _more; One against_ Danby,
_and the Lords in the_ Tower, _another_ for the Sitting of this
Parliament, till they had gone through all they had to do; _a_ Third,
_for taking away the_ Bishops Votes, _a_ Fourth _for the Remove of_
Evill Counsellours; _and a_ Fifth _for putting the_ Militia _into_ Safe
hands.

_Citt._ These points you must know, have been a long time upon the
Anvill; and our Friends have Instructions all over the Kingdom, to
proceed upon them to shew the Miraculous _Union_ of the Nation. But do
you think because the _First Petition_ has receiv'd a _checque_, and the
_Parliament_ is _Prorogu'd_, that therefore _the other Petitions must
fall to the ground_?

Bum. _I cannot well see how it should be otherwise._

_Citt._ Why then let me tell you, _Bumpkin_, We'l bring the whole
business about again, and carry it on, in spite of Fate: for we have
better _heads_ at work perhaps then you are aware of.

Bum. _Ay, but what_ Hands _have we_ Citt? _for it will come to that at
last_.

_Citt._ Those _Heads_ will find _Hands_, never trouble your self, if
there should be occasion; but 'tis too early-days for that sport yet.
'Twas an unlucky thing however to be so surpriz'd; For our Friends did
no more dream of the _Sacrament_, then of their _Dying day_.

Bum. _Well there's no recalling of what's past: But the Question is how
we shall avoid it for the time to come._

_Citt._ Nay _Bumpkin_, there's a Trick worth two of _avoiding_ it, we'l
_Take_ it next bout, and then we're safe; we'l carry it; I'le undertake
by _fifty Voices_.

Bum. _But cannot the_ Aldermen _hinder you from putting it to the Vote_?

    A Designe upon the Common-Council.

_Citt._ 'Tis the custom of the City I confess, for the _Lord Mayor_ to
_Summon_ and _dissolve Common-Councils_, and to put all points to the
_Question_; but we'l finde a cure for that too. 'Tis a thing we've been
a good while about already; the bringing down the _Authority_ of the
_City_ into the _Major part_ of the _Commons_.

Bum. _Now if the_ Mayor _and_ Aldermen _should be aware of this, they'l
never endure it; but we must leave that to time. But hark ye_ Citt. _I
thought our Friends refusing of the_ Sacrament had been matter of
Conscience.

    Distinctions of Consciences.

_Citt._ Why so it is man, but take notice then, that you are to
distinguish of _Consciences_: There is, _First_, a _plain, simple
Conscience_, and that's a Conscience that will serve well enough to keep
a man _Right_, if he meet with nothing else to put him _out of the way_.
And then there's a _Conscience_ of _State_, or _Profit_; and _that
Conscience_ yields, as a _Less Weight_ does to a _Greater_; an _Ounce_
turns the _Scale_, but a _Pound_ carries the _Ounce_, and no body blames
the _Weaker_ for being over-power'd by the _stronger_. There is a
_Conscience_ of _Profession_ too; which is a _Conscience_ that does not
so much regard the _Reason_ of the _thing_, as the being _True_ to a
_Party_, when a man has past his _Word_: and this is the _Conscience_ of
a man of _Honour_, that fights for his _Whore_. There is likewise a
_Conscience_ of _Religion_, and that's a _quiet peaceable Conscience_,
that rests in the Affections of the _Heart_, in submission to _Lawfull
Institutions_; and in serving _God_, and doing Good to our _Nighbour_,
without _Noise_ or _Ostentation_.

    Consciences of State or Interest.

Bum. _Well, but I see a great many very_ Consciencious men _that love
to_ Pray _and_ Sing Psalms _next the_ Street, _that their Neighbours may
hear 'um; and go up and down_ shaking of their Heads, _and_ wringing of
their Hands, _crying out of_ the Calves _of_ Bethel, _and the_ High
places, Popery, Prelacy, _and the_ Common-Prayer, _in such a manner,
that 'twould grieve a bodies heart to see 'um_.

_Citt._ These are _Consciencious men Bumpkin_, and this is the
_Conscience_ of _State_ or _Profit_, that I told ye of.

Bum. _Ay, but I have seen some men in Fits of the_ Spirit, Jump, _and
fling about a_ Pulpit _so desperately, that they set the children a
crying_ to have 'um let out. _One while they'd_ raise _themselves upon
their_ Tip-toes, _and_ Roar out _upon a suddain, you'd have thought they
had been pinch'd with_ Hot Irons; _and then all in an Instant, they'd_
Dop down again, _that ye could hardly see 'um; And so_ fall _into a_
faint, lamenting Voice, _like the_ Grone _of a poor woman_ three
quarters spent in Labour. _Nay there was One of 'um that gap'd, and held
his mouth open so long, that People cry'd out_, The man has a Bone in
his Throat. _Those must needs be very_ Consciencious Men, Citt.

_Citt._ They are so _Bumpkin_, but 'tis the _same Conscience_ still; for
it works all manner of ways. We took up this Mode I suppose, from the
_Transports_, and _Grimaces_ of the _Pagan Priests_, in the Ceremony of
their _Sacrifices_, which had a very effectual operation upon the
People.

Bum. _Nay_ Citt, _these Men have a Holy way of_ Language _too, as well
as of_ Behaviour, _for all their_ Talk _is of_ Heaven, _and_ Heavenly
things, _the_ Saints _and_ the New Jerusalem; _they deal mightily, in_
Expositions _upon the_ Viols, _and_ the Little Horn: _and then they are
bitterly severe against_ Wicked Magistrates, _and those that_ Lord it
over Gods Heritage. _They are_ in fine _a very_ Consciencious _sort of
People_.

_Citt._ Oh beyond question so they are: But this is still a Branch of
the _same Conscience_. I have known indeed some people so Transported
with this same _Talkative Holiness_, that it has been a kind of
_Spiritual Salivation_ to 'um, they continue _spitting_ when they have
not one drop of _Moisture_ left 'um in their _Bodies_.

Bum. _Prethee_ Citt, _tell me in Honest_ English, _where shall a body
finde the_ simple, _and the_ Religious Consciences _thou told'st me of_?

    Not many Religious Consciences.

_Citt._ Why every man living has the _Former_ of 'um, but takes no
notice on't: But for the _Latter_ sort, 'tis very scarce; and you shall
find more of it perhaps in _one Jayle_, or in _one Hospital_, then in
all the _Courts_ of _Christendom_. It is commonly _the Blessing of men
in years_, in _sicknesse_, or _in adversity_.

Bum. _Ah_ Citt, _that I were but as capable of Learning as thou art of
Teaching! Pre'thee explain thy self a little upon the_ Conscience _of_
Profession _too_.

    A Conscience of Profession.

_Citt._ Observe me what I say then, _Bumpkin_; There is a _Profession_,
_Particular_, and _General_: _Particular_, as when _One Cavalier_ serves
another in a _Duell_, he's oblig'd to't by the _Profession_ of a
_Sword-man_, without Formalizing upon the _Cause_. There's a
_Conscience_ of _Profession_ even among the _Banditi_ themselves. What
is it but the _Profession_ of _Presbytery_, that makes the whole Party
oppose _Episcopacy_; as the _Independents_ do _Presbytery_, the
_Republicans_, _Monarchy_, and the like.

Bum. _Now I thought that there might have been_ Conscience _of_ State,
_as well as of_ Profession _in These Cases_.

_Citt._ Thou sayst very well, _Bumpkin_, and so there is, and of
_Profit_ too; and it was much the same Case too, throughout the Circle
of our Late Revolutions, when we _Swore_ and _Vow'd_ from the _Oaths of
Allegiance_, and _Canonical Obedience_, to the _Protestation_, the
_Solemn League and Covenant_, the _Engagement_, the _Negative Oath_, the
Oath of _Abjuration_, and so till we swore round, into the _Oath of
Allegiance_ again.

Bum. _What do you mean now by your =Generall Profession=?_

_Citt._ I mean the _Subordination_ of a _Partiall_ to a _Generall_, of a
_Private Profession_ to a _Publick_; as thou seest in the Late Times,
_Bumpkin_, how strictly the _Divided Reformers_ kept themselves to This
Rule, so long as the _Common Enemy_ was upon his Legs.

Bum. _But who do you mean by the =Common Enemy=?_

_Citt._ I mean, the _Court_, and the _Church-Party_. So long (I say) all
our Brethren of the Separation joyn'd as one man, against that
_Inordinate Power_; and herein we were _Conscienciously True_ to our
_General Profession_; but so soon as ever we had subdu'd that _Popish_
and _Tyrannical Interest_, through the _Conscience_ of our _General
Profession_, we then consulted our _Particular_; and every man did
Conscienciously labour for the Establishment of _his own_ way. But now
we come to the great Nicety of all; that is to say, the _Conscience_ of
making a _Conscience_ of using _any Conscience at all_: There's a Riddle
for ye, _Bumpkin_.

Bum. _I must confess I do not understand one Bitt on't._

    A Conscience of using no Conscience at all.

_Citt._ That's for want of a Discerning Spirit _Bumpkin_. What does
_Conscience_ signifie to the _Saints_, that are deliver'd from the
Fetters of _Moral Obligations_, by so many _Extraordinary_ and
_Over-riding Priviledges_, which are granted in a peculiar manner to the
_People of the Lord_? What's he the _better_, or the _worse_, for
_keeping_ or for _breaking_ the _Ten Commandments_, that lies under the
_Predestinarian Fate_ of an _Unchangeable Necessity_ and _Decree_? What
needs he care for any _other Guide_, that carries within himself an
_Infallible Light_? Or He for _any Rule at all_ that cannot _sin_? For
the _same thing_ may be _sin_ in _another man_, which in _Him_ is
_None_.

Bum. _Really this is admirable: So that we that are the =Elect= are
bound up by no =Laws= at all, either of =God= or of =Man=._

_Citt._ Why look you now for that; we _Are_, and we are _Not_. If it so
happens that the _Inward_ and _Invisible Spirit_ move us to do _the same
thing_, which the _Outward_, and _Visible Law_ requires of us; in _That
Case_ we are _Bound_; but so, as to the _Spirit_, not to the _Law_: and
therefore we are bid to _stand fast in our Christian Liberty_.

    Of Christian Liberty.

Bum. _That's extreamly well said, for if =We Christians= should be
Shackled with =Human Laws=, which can only reach the =Outward Man=, then
are =the Heritage of the Lord=, in no better Condition then the
=Wicked=, and the =Heathen=._

    The Extent of it.

_Citt._ Oh! th'art infinitely in the Right: for if it were not for this
_Christian Liberty_, we could never have _Justify'd_ our Selves in our
_Late Transactions_: the _Designe_ of _Overturning the Government_ had
been _Treason_; taking up _Arms_ against the _King_, _Rebellion_;
_Dividing_ from the _Communion_ of the _Church_ had been _Schism_;
appropriating the _Church Plate_, and _Revenues_ to _Private Uses_, had
been _Sacriledge_; Entring upon _Sequester'd Livings_ had been
_Oppression_: taking away mens _Estates_ had been _Robbery_;
_Imprisoning_ of their _Persons_ had been _Tyranny_; using the name of
_God_ to all This, would have been _Hypocrisy_, forcing of
_Contradictory Oaths_ had been _Impiety_, and Shedding the _Blood_ both
of the _King_, and his _People_, had been _Murther_: And all This would
have appear'd so to be, if the _Cause_ had come to be _Try'd_ by the
_Known Laws_ either of _God_, or of _Man_.

Bum. _Make us thankfull now! What a blessed State are we in, that =Walk
up to our Calling=, in =Simplicity= and =Truth=, whose =Yea= is =Yea=,
and whose =Nay= is =Nay=. 'Tis a strange way thou hast, =Citt=, of
making things out to a man. Thou wert saying but now, that the =same
thing= may be a =Sin= in =One Man=, and =not= in =Another=. I'm thinking
now of the =Jesuites=._

_Citt._ Oh That's a _Jugling, Equivocating, Hellish_ sort of _People_;
'tis a thousand pitties that they're suffer'd to live upon the Earth;
They value an _Oath_ no more then they do a _Rush_. Those are the
_Heads_ of the _Plot_ now upon the Life of the _King_, the _Protestant
Religion_, and the _Subversion_ of the _Government_.

    Jesuites and Phanatiques compar'd.

Bum. _Ay, Ay, =Citt=, they're a =damn'd Generation= of =Hell-hounds=.
But, as I was thinking just now; we have so many things among =Us=, like
some things among =Them=, that I have been run down some times allmost,
as if We =our selves= were =Jesuites=; though I know there's as much
difference, as betwixt =Light=, and =Darknesse=: and for my part, =I
defie them as I do the Devill=._

    A vast Difference betwixt them.

_But =Citt= thou hast so wonderfull a way of making matters plain, I'de
give any thing in the world thou'dst but teach me what to say in some
Cases, when I'm put to't. One told me t'other day, =You are rather worse
then the= Jesuites; (says he) =for when =They= break an =Oath=, they
have some =mental Reservation= or other for a =Come-off:_ But _You_
Swallow your _Perjuryes, just_ as _Cormorants_ do _Eeles_; an _Oath's_
no sooner _In_ at _One End_, then _Out_ at _t'other_.

_Citt._ Let your Answer be This, _Bumpkin_, That the _Lawmaker_ is
_Master_ of _his own Laws_; and that the _Spirits dictating_ of a _New
Law_, is the _Superseding_ of an _Old one_.

    Their Practices compar'd.

Bum. _These are hard words_, Citt; _but he told me further_, don't _You_
Justifie _King-Killing_ (_says he_) as well as the _Jesuits_? Only
_They_ do't with _Pistol_, _Dagger_, and _Poyson_; and _You_ come with
Your _Horse_, _Foot_, and _Cannon_: _They_ proceed by _Excomunicating_,
and _Deposing_; by _dissolving_ the _Character_, _first_, and _then
destroying_ the _Person_; and just so did _You_. _First_, ye _Depos'd_
the _King_, and _Then_ ye _Beheaded Charles Stuart_. And then you need
never go to _Rome_ for a _Pardon_, when every man among you is _his own
Pope_.

    The Fanaticks Clear'd.

_Citt._ Now your Answer must be This; That we had, _First_, the
_Warrant_, for what we did, of _an Extraordinary Dispensation_. (as
appear'd in the providence of our Successes) _Secondly_, we had the
_Laws_ of _Necessity_, and _Self-preservation_ to Support us. And
_Thirdly_, the _Government_ being _Coordinate_, and the _King_ only
_One_ of the _Three Estates_; any _Two_ of the _Three_ might deal with
the _Third_ as They thought _Fit_: Beside the _Ultimate Soveraignty_ of
the _People_, over and above. And now take notice, that _the same
Argument_ holds in the _Subversion_ of the _Government_.

Bum. _Now you have Arm'd me Thus far, pray'e help me on, one step
farther; for I was hard put to't not long Since, about the businesse of
the_ Protestant Religion. _What is_ That, _I pray'e, that ye call the_
Protestant Religion?

    Of Dissenting Protestants.

_Citt._ You are to understand, that by the _Protestant Religion_ is
meant the _Religion_ of the _Dissenters_ in _England_, from the _Church_
of _England_; As the _First Protestants_ in _Germany_ 1529. (from whom
we denominate our Selves) were _Dissenters_ from the _Church_ of _Rome_:
And So _Call'd_ from the famous _Protestation_ they enter'd against the
_Decree_ of the _Assembly_ at _Spires_, against _Anabaptists_.

Bum. _So that I perceive We_ Set up _the_ Protestant Religion; _we did
not_ Destroy _it: But they prest it Then, that the_ Church of England
_was a_ Protestant Church, _and that the_ Jesuites _had only_ Design'd
_the_ Destruction _of it, where as_ We _did_ Actually Execute _it_.

_Citt._ Your Answer must be, that the _Church_ of _England_, though it
be a little _Protestantish_, it is not yet directly _Protestant_: As on
the Other side, it is not altogether the _Whore_ of _Babilon_, though a
good deal _Whorish_; and therefore the Reply to That must be, that we
did not _Destroy_, but only _Reform_ it.

Bum. _Why I have answer'd People out of my Own_ Mother-Wit, _that we did
but_ Reform _it_. _And they told me again, the Cutting of it off_ Root
and Branch, _was a very Extraordinary way of_ Reforming.

    The meaning of Root and Branch.

_Citt._ The Answer to That is Obvious, that the _Cutting Off Root and
Branch_, is only a _Thorow_, or a _Higher degree_ of _Reforming_.
But upon the whole matter, it was with _Us_ and the _Jesuites_, as it
was with _Aaron_ and the _Magicians_; we did _Both_ of us, make
_Froggs_, but _We alone_ had the Power to quicken _the Dust of the Land,
and turn it into Lice_.

Thou art by this time, I presume, sufficiently instructed in the
_Methods_, and _Fundamentalls_ of the _Holy Cause_. I shall now give you
some necessary Hints, to fit, and quallify you for the Province that I
intend you. But besure you mind your _Lesson_.

Bum. _As I would do my_ Prayers, Citt, _or I were Ungratefull, for you
have made me for ever._

_Citt._ Come we'l take _t'other Sup_, first, and then to work. _Who
wayts there without? Two Potts more, and shut the door after Ye._


A great part of Your businesse, _Bumpkin_, will ly among
_Parliament-Rolls_ and _Records_; for it must be _Our Post_ to furnish
_Materialls_ to a _Caball_ only of _Three Persons_, that may be ready
upon Occasion, to be made use of by the _Grand Committee_.

    Rolls and Records hunted for Presidents.

Bum. My _Old Master would say that I had as good a guesse at a_ Musty
Record, _as any man; And 'twas my whole Employment almost, to hunt for_
Presidents. _Nay the People would Trust me with_ Great Bags _home to my
Lodging; and leave me alone sometimes in the_ Offices _for four and
twenty hours together._

_Citt._ But what kind of _Presidents_ were they that Ye lookt for?

Bum. _Concerning the_ Kings Prerogative, Bishops Votes, _the_ Liberty
_and_ Property _of the_ Subject; _and the like: And such as They wanted,
I writ out._

_Citt._ But did you Recite them _Whole_? or what did you _Take_, and
what did you _Leave_?

Bum. _We took what serv'd our Turn, and left out the Rest; and sometimes
we were taken =Tripping=, and sometimes we =Scap'd=: But we never
falsify'd any thing. There were some dogged Passages, indeed we durst
not meddle with at all; but I can turn ye to any thing you have occasion
for, with a wet-finger._

    Lessons of behaviour for the Well-affected.

_Citt._ So that here's One great point quickly over; in thy being
Train'd to my hand: A man might lay thee down _Instructions_, now, for
thy very _Words_, _Looks_, _Motions_, _Gestures_; nay thy very
_Garments_; but we'l leave those matters to Time, and Study. It is a
strange thing how Nature puts her self forth, in these _Externall
Circumstances_. Ye shall Know a _Sanctifi'd Sister_, or a _Gifted
Brother_ more by the _Meene_, _Countenance_, and _Tone_, then by the
Tenour of their _Lives_, and _Manners_. It is a Comely thing for Persons
of the Same Perswasion, to agree in these _Outward Circumstances_, even
to the _drawing_ of the _same Tone_, and _making_ of the _same Face_:
Always provided, that there may be read in our _Appearances_, a
_Singularity of Zeal_, a _Contempt of the World_, a _fore-boding of
Evills to come_; a _dissatisfaction at the Present Times_; and a
_Despair of Better_.

Bum. _Why This is the very Part, that I was Made for; these Humours are
to be put =On=, and =Off=, as a man would shift his =Gloves=; and you
shall see me do't as Easily too; but the =Language= must be got, I
Phansy, by Conversing with =Modern Authours=, and frequenting =Religious
Exercises=._

_Citt._ Yes, yes, and for a help to your memory I would advise you to
dispose of your Observations into these _Three Heads_, _Words_,
_Phrases_, and _Metaphors_: Do you conceive me?

    The Force of Looks and Tones.

Bum. _There's not a word you say, falls to the Ground. And I am the more
sensible of the force of =Words=, =Looks=, =Tones=, and =Metaphors= (as
ye call 'um) from what I finde in my self. =Ours= certainly may be well
term'd a =Powerfull Ministry=, that makes a man cry like a Child at the
very =Noyse= of a Torrent of =Words= that he does not =Understand One
Syllable= of. Nay, when I have been out of reach of hearing the =Words=,
the very =Tone= and =Look=, has =Melted= me._

    A Moving Metaphor.

_Citt._ Thou canst not but have heard of _That Moving Metaphor_ of the
late Reverend _Mr. Fowler_: _Lord Sowse us;_ (says he) _Lord Dowse us,
in the Powdering-Tubb of Affliction; that we may come forth Tripes
worthy of thy Holy Table._ Who can resist the _Inundation_ of This
_Rhetorique_? But let us now pass from the _Generall Ornaments_ of our
_Profession_, to the _Particular businesse_ of our _present Case_.

I need not tell you, _Bumpkin_, of the _Plott_, or that we are all
running into _Popery_; and that the best Service _Englishman_ can do his
Country, would be the ripping up of This Designe to the _Bottom_.

Bum. _I am so much of Your Opinion, that you have Spoken my very
Thoughts._

_Citt._ Bethink your self, _Bumpkin_; what _Papists_ do you know?

Bum. _Oh, hang 'um all, I never come near any of 'Um._

_Citt._ But yet you may have Heard, perhaps, of some people that are
_Popishly affected_.

Bum. _Yes, yes; There are abundance of Them._

_Citt._ Can you prove that ever they _Sayd_, or _Did_ any thing, in
favour of the _Papists_?

Bum. _Nay there's enough of That I believe; but then there are such_
Huge Great men among 'um.

_Citt._ Pluck up a good heart _Bumpkin_; the _Greater_, the _Better_; We
fear 'um not. Rub up your Memory, and call to minde what you can say
upon _Your own Knowledge_, and what you have _Heard_; either about _Sir
Edmond-Bury Godfrey_, The _Plott_; The _Traytors_ that Suffer'd, or the
_Kings Evidence_.

Bum. _I have seen people_ shrug _sometimes, and lift up their_ Hands
_and_ Eyes, _and shake their_ Heads, _and then they would clutch their_
Fists, _look sour_, _make_ Mouths, _and bite their_ Nails, _and so: And
I dare swear I know what they thought._

_Citt._ Ah _Bumpkin_, if they had but so much as mutter'd, they'd been
our own.

    Signs in Evidence.

Bum. _Well but hark ye_ Citt, _I hear People swear_, or in WORDS to this
Effect; _why may not a Man as well swear_, in SIGNS to this Effect? _and
that they lifted up their_ Eyes, _and_ hands, _bent their_ Fists, _knit
their_ Brows, _and made_ Mouths, to this or that Effect?

_Citt._ No, that will never do _Bumpkin_, but if thou could'st but
phansy that thou heard'st them _speak_.

Bum. _Why truly I never thought on't, but I saw a_ Parson _once, the
Tears flood in his Eyes, as one of 'um went by to Execution. But your_
Surcingle-men, (_as our Doctor told us last Lords day_) _are all of 'um_
Papists in their Hearts.

_Citt._ Why what's the _Common-Prayer Book Bumpkin_, but a mess of
_Parboyl'd Popery_?

Bum. _I'm a dog, if our Minister does not pray for the_ Queen _still._

    Sad Times.

_Citt._ Nay, we are e'en at a fine pass, when the _Pulpit_ prays for the
_Queen_, and the _Bench_ Drinks the _Duke of Yorks Health_. But to the
point, bethink your self well; a man may forget a thing to day, and
recollect it to morrow. Take notice however, that it is another main
point of your Instructions to procure _Informations_ of this quality.

Bum. _I'le fit you to a hair for that matter: But then I must be running
up and down ye know, into_ Taverns, _and_ Coffee-houses, _and thrusting
myself into_ Meetings, _and_ Clubs. _That licks mony._

_Citt._ Never trouble your self for that, you shall be well paid and
your expences born: Beside so much a head from the State, for every
Priest that you discover.

Bum. _Well! these_ Priests _and_ Jesuites _are damn'd fellows._

_Citt._ And yet let me tell you _Bumpkin_, a _bare fac'd Papist_ is not
half so bad as a _Papist_ in _Masquerade_.

Bum. _Why what are those I prethee?_

    Church worse to Dissenters then Jesuites.

_Citt._ They are your _Will-worship-men_, your _Prelates Brats_: Take
the whole Litter of 'um, and you'l finde _never a barrel better
Herring_. Let me tell thee in Love _Bumpkin, these Curs_ are forty times
worse to _Us_ then the _Jesuits themselves_; for the _One_ is an _Open
Enemy_, the _Other_ lies gnawing like a Canker in our _Bowells_. And
then being train'd up to _Latin_ and _Greek_, there's no opposing of the
_Power of Godlinesse_ to the _Sophistry_ of _Human Reason_: Beside that,
the _Law_ is _For_ us in the _One_ Case, and _Against_ us in the
_Other_.

Bum. _Which way shall we go to work then, to deal with this Generation
of Men?_

_Citt._ We must joyn the _Wisdom_ of the _Serpent_, to the _Innocence_
of the _Dove_; and endeavour to compass that by _stratagem_, which we
cannot gain by _Argument_. But now am I going to open a _Mistery_ to
thee, that's _worth_----

Bum. _Prethee the_ Worth _on't_ Citt: _For talk is but talk, the_ Worth
_is the_ Main point.

_Citt._ Why then let me tell thee _Bumpkin_, the _Mistery_ that I am
about to disclose to thee, was _worth_ to our Predecessours not long
since, no less then _Three Kingdoms_, and _a better penny_. But I'le
seal your Lips up, before I stir one step further.

Bum. _Why look ye_ Citt, may this Drink never go thorough me, if ever
blab one Syllable of any thing thou tell'st me as a Secret.

_Citt._ Hold, hold, _Bumkin_, and _may it never come up again if thou
do'st_; for we'l have no shifting.

Bum. And may it never come up again neither if I do.


    The strange agreement of Dissenters.

_Citt._ Well, I'm satisfy'd, and now give attention; thou seest how
unanimously fierce all the several Parties of the _Protestant
Dissenters_ are against the _Papists_. Whence comes this _Conjunction_,
I prethee, of so many _separate Congregations_, that are many of them
worse then _Papists, One_ to _Another_? There must be in it, either
_Conscience_, or _Interest_: If it were _Conscience_, we should fall
foul _One_ upon _Another_, and for matter of _Interest_; when the
_Papists_ are _destroy'd_, we are but still where we were.

Bum. _This is a crotchet_, Citt, _that did not fall under my Night-Cap._

    The scope of that Agreement.

_Citt._ Be enlighten'd then. It is not the Destruction of those that are
_Really Papists_, that will do our Work; for there's nothing to be got
by't. But it must be our business to make _those people_ pass for
_Papists_, that are _not_ so, but only have _Places_ to Lose: such as we
our selves, by the removal of them, may be the better for; and _This,
Bumpkin_ must be _our Master-piece_.

Bum. _I had this very phansy my self_, Citt; _but it stuck betwixt my
Teeth, and would not out._

_Citt._ You hear now in General, what is to be done; You must be next
instructed in the Acts of _Raising_, _Cherishing_, and _Fomenting_ such
_Opinions_; in what Cases to _Improve_ them, and where to _apply_ them.

    Who are Popishly affected in the first place.

Bum. _I'm perswaded my Masters Brother had this very thing in his Head,
though he never made any words on't to me, He had got a List of all the
considerable Offices and Employments in the Kingdom: And I remember he
was us'd to say, that most of the respective_ Officers _were either_
Corrupt, _or_ Popishly affected. _If they were_ Publick Ministers;
_either the_ Kings Councells _were_ betray'd, _or they put him upon
Governing in an_ Arbitrary way, _and without_ Parliaments: _As for the_
Judges _there was either_ Bribery, Absolute Power, _or_ Oppression _laid
to their Charge; and so all the rest were branded for_ Frauds,
Imbezilments, _and the like, according to the Quality of their
businesse: All the_ Governours _of_ Towns, Castles, _and_ Forts, _were_
Popishly Inclin'd; _and not to be Trusted. And then all_ Ecclesiasticall
Officers, _whatsoever, within four or five, were half way at_ Rome
_already._

_Citt._ This is well remembred, _Bumpkin_; Now 'tis worth a bodies while
to make _these Blades_ passe for _Papists_, and _Traitors_, that leave
_Good Offices_ behinde 'um. Nay, we must not suffer so much as any man,
either of _Brains_, or _Fortune_ (that does not joyn with _Us_) to passe
untainted.

Bum. _Thou say'st Right_, Citt; _for whosoever is not_ With _us, is_
Against _us._

_Citt._ Thou hast spoken patt to This point, _Bumpkin_, but yet thou
begin'st at the wrong End; For you must first get the skill of
_Raising_, and _Improving a Report_, before ye come to the _Fixing_ of
it: For that's a Nicety not to be medled with, till we come to the
taking out of the very Pins, and the Unhinging of the Government; So
that the _First Clamour_ must be Level'd point-blank at some _Known_,
and _Eminent Papists_.

Bum. _Well, but what shall we_ Charge 'um with?

_Citt._ Why, if we were Once at the bottom of _This Plot_ (which, upon
my soul, _Bumpkin_, is a most hideous one) and wanted _matter_ for
_Another_, I would charge them with a designe of betraying us to a
_Foreign Enemy_.

Bum. _As how a_ Foreign Enemy _pre'thee?_

    A Heavy Charge.

_Citt._ As Thus: I would charge 'um with holding an Intelligence with
the Emperor of _Morocco_, for the Landing of _five and thirty thousand
Light-horse men_ upon _Salisbury Plain_.

Bum. _Pre'thee_, Citt, _don't_ Romance.

    Nothing Incredible.

_Citt._ Pre'thee do not _Balderno_, ye should say; Speak _Statutable
English_, ye Fool you. Thou think'st perhaps that the people will not
believe it: Observe but what I say to thee; let it but be put into the
_Protestant Domestique_, that his _Imperiall Majesty_ is to hold up his
hand at the _Kings Bench-barr_ for't, and let me be Dogs-meat if they do
not swallow That too. Why pre'thee, _Bumkin_, we must make 'um believe
stranger Things than This, or we shall never do our businesse. They must
be made to believe that the _King_ intends to play the _Tyrant_; that
all his _Counsellors_ are _Pensioners_ to the _French King_; that all
his _Enemies_ are turn'd his _Friends_, o'th sodain, and all his
_Friends_, his _Enemies_; That _Prelacy_ is _Anti-Christian_; all our
_Clergy-men_, _Papists_, the _Liturgy_ the _Masse-Book_, and that the
_Ten Commandments_ are to be read _backward_.

Bum. _Blesse me_, Citt, _what do I hear?_

    Popish Ministers may have Orthodox Offices.

_Citt._ Come, come, Sirrah; y'are under an Oath; and This is the plain
Truth on'. What is it to Thee and Me, I pre'thee, whether the _Great
Ministers_ be _True_, or _False_; Or what _Religion_, the _Clergy_ are
of, so long as their _Livings_ ye Rogue, are _Orthodox_, and their
_Offices well-Affected_.

Bum. _This does Qualifie, I must confess. But you were saying, that the
First Clamour should be levell'd at some_ Known _and_ Eminent Papists:
_Now what comes after That, I beseech you?_

_Citt_. You may safely Mark all Their Friends then for
_Popishly-Affected_; and so consequently on to all that _Love them_, and
all that _They Love_. When this Opinion is once started, 'tis an Easy
matter, by the help of _Invention_, and _Story_, to improve it; and by
this means we shall come, in a short time to secure all the _Councils_
of the Nation to _our Party_, that are chosen by _Suffrage_. If you were
read in History you would finde, that still _as the_ Papists _set the
House on fire, the_ Non-conformists _took the Opportunity of rosting
their own Eggs_.

    Who are Popishly affected.

Bum. _Yes, yes, I understand ye. As for Example now,_ One _goes to the_
Lords _in the_ Tower, another (_as you were saying_) _drinks the_ Dukes
Health, _a_ Third _prays for the_ Queen: _a_ Fourth _Phansies_ Two
Plots; _a_ Fifth _refuses the_ Petition, _a_ Sixth _speaks well of my_
Lord Chief Justice, _or calls the_ Protestant Domestick _a_ Libel. _All
these now are_ Popishly-Affected.

_Citt._ Save your breath _Bumpkin_, and take all in one word: whosoever
will not do as we would have him shall be _made_ so.

But now to the matter of _Invention_, and _Story_; I hate the
over-hearing of Discourses, in Blinde Allyes, and such ordinary _Shams_:
I'm rather for coming downright to the _Man_, and to the _Poynt_; after
the way of the Protestant Domestique.

    Matters of Moment.

Bum. _Ay, ay: There's your_ free Speaker. _Well_ Citt, the King wants
such men about him. _But pre'thee hear me; Is it certain his Majesty has
Lent the King of_ France Three Millions?

_Citt._ No, no; some Two and a half; or thereabouts.

Bum. _Why, if the King would but make a League now with the_ Swiss _to
keep the_ Turk _off_, That way; _and another with the_ Protestants _in_
Hungary, _to keep off the_ French, _the whole world could never hurt
us._

_Citt._ Nay that's true enough, but then the _Pole_ lies so damnably
betwixt _Us_ and the _Baltique_.

Bum. _I'de not value that a Half-penny, so long as we have the_
Waldenses _to Friend._

_Citt._ And then _New-England_ lies so conveniently for _Provisions_.
But what do you think of drawing _Nova Scotia_, and _Geneva_ into the
_Alliance_?

Bum. _Ay, but there's no hope of that: so long at the King follows these
Counsells._

_Citt._ Thou art a great Read man I perceive in the _Interests of
States_.

Bum. _I have always had a phansy to_ Stows Survey _of_ London, _and
those kinde of Books._

_Citt._ But Good _Bumpkin_, what's thy Opinion of the _Bishops Votes_,
in Case of _Life and Death_?

Bum. _Ay, or in Cases of_ Heaven and Hell _either. Why as true as thou
art a man_ Citt, _we have but_ three Protestant Bishops _in the Nation;
and I am told they are warping too._

_Citt._ Prethee why should we look for any _Protestant Bishops_ in the
_Kingdom_, when there's no _Protestant Episcopacy_ in the _World_? but
for all this, we may yet live to see the _Rufling_ of their _Lawn
sleeves_.

Bum. _Oh, now I think on't; dist thou ever reade the Story of_ Moses
_and the_ Ten Tables?

_Citt._ The _Two Tables_ in the _Mount_ thou mean'st.

Bum. Gad _I think 'tis the_ Two Tables. _I read it in Print t'other day,
in a very good Book, that as sure as thou art alive now,_ the Bishops in
_Henry the 8th._ made the _Ten Commandments._

_Citt._ Why that was the reason, _Bumpkin_, when the _Lords and Commons_
put down _Bishops_, they put down the _Ten Commandments too_; and made
_New ones_ of their _Own_. And dost not thou take notice that they put
down the _Lords Prayer_ too, because 'twas akinn to the _Popish
Pater-Noster_? and then for the _Creed_, they cast it quite out of the
_Directory_.

Bum. _Now as thou lay'st it down to me, the Case is as clear as
Christal. And yet when I'm by my self sometime, I'm so affraid methinks
of being_ Damn'd.

_Citt._ What for, ye Fop you?

Bum. _Why for_ Swearing, Lying, Dissembling, Cheating, Betraying,
Defaming_, and the like._

    The Brethren are only for Profitable Sins.

_Citt._ Put it at worst, do not you know that every man must have his
_Dos_ of _Iniquity_? And that what you take out in _One way_ you abate
for in _another_, as in _Profaning, Whoring, Drinking_, and so forth.
Suppose you should see P O Y S O N set in Capital Letters, upon _seaven
Vials_ in a _Laboratory_; 'twere a madness I know, for any man to
venture his Life upon 'um, without a _Taster_. But having before your
Eyes so many instances, of men that by drinking of these Poysonous
Liquors, out of a _Consumptive, half-starv'd_, and _Heart-broken_
Condition, grow _Merry, Fat_, and _Lusty_, would not you venture too?
Imagine These _Seven_ _Waters_ to be the _Seven Deadly Sins_, and then
make your _Application_.

Bum. _Nay, the Case is plain enough, and I cannot see why that should be
a_ Poyson _to_ me, _that's a_ Preservative _to_ Another: _Only our
Adversaries twit us with Objections of_ Law _forsooth, and_ Religion.

_Citt._ Wherefore the Discipline of the Late Times sav'd a great deal of
puzzle. Mr. _Prynn_ sent _His Clients_ to Mr. C_ase_ for _Religion_; and
Mr. _Case_, in requital, sent _His_ to Mr. _Pryn_ for _Law_; which kept
up a concord among the _Well-affected_. But your Lesson in both these
Cases, falls into a very Narrow compass.

Bum. _Pray'e let it be_ Plain _that I may_ understand _it; and_ short
_that I may_ Remember _it._

    Three Positions.

_Citt._ Keep close only to these _Three Positions: First_, that the
_King_ is _One_ of the _Three Estates; Secondly_, that the _Sovereign
Power_ is in the _People_; and _Thirdly_, that it is better to obey
_God_, then _Man_. These Fundamentals will serve to guide ye in allmost
any dispute upon this Matter, that can occur to you.

Bum. _But what becomes of me, if my Adversaries should turn the question
another way?_

_Citt._ I'le fortify you there too. And let me tell you that he'l have
much ado to keep himself Clear of one of these Two Rocks: Either of
Dashing upon the _Plott_, or upon the _Liberty of the Subject_. As for
Example,


    L'Estrange Confuted.

There's _L'Estrange_; as wary a Dog perhaps, as ever pist; and yet ye
shall see how we have hamper'd Him. I writ the thing my self, ye must
know, though it comes out in the Name of _the Authour of the Weekly
Pacquet of Advice from_ Rome. 'Tis Dedicated to _Both Houses of
Parliament_; and Design'd just for the 26th. of _January_: So that if
the Parliament had Set, there would have been means us'd to have had him
Question'd for't.

Bum. _Gad, I know where y'are now. 'Tis in the_ Preface _to the_ History
of the Damnable Popish Plott.

_Citt._ Ay, that's it. I'le give ye First, the _Words_ in't that concern
_L'Estrange_, and you shall _Then_ see the _Writings_ of _His_ that I
have reflected upon.

Bum. _Oh, 'Tis a devilish witty Thing,_ Citt; _I have seen it. Methinks
the Rogue, should hang himself out of the way. I'le go to_ Mans
Coffee-house _and see how he Looks on't._

_Citt._ No, no, Pox on him; he's an Impudent Curr; nothing less than a
Pillory will ever put Him out of Countenance. This Toad was in
_Newgate_, I know not how long; and yet he'l take no warning.

Bum. _You must consider,_ Citt, _that he writes for_ Money; O my Soul,
they say, the Bishops have given him five hundred Guynnyes. _But
pre'thee_ Citt; _hast not thou seen_ the Answer to the Appeal,
Expounded.

_Citt._ Yes, but I ha' not read it.

Bum. _Why then take it from me,_ Citt, _'tis one of the shrewdest_
_Pieces that ever came in Print._ L'Estrange, _you must know, wrote an_
Answer _to the_ Appeal.

_Citt._ We've a sweet Government the while, that any man should dare to
fall foul upon _That Appeal_.

Bum. _Well, but so it is; and_ Another _has written Notes upon_ Him:
_You cann't imagine_ Citt, _how he windes him about's Finger; And calls
him_ Fidler, Impudent, Clod-pate; _and proves him to be a_ Jesuite, _and
a_ Papist, _as plain as the Nose of a mans Face: he shews ye how he
accuses the_ Kings Evidence; _and that he is in_ Both Plots, _in I know
not how many places._

    _Citt_ drawing up Articles.

_Citt._ I have known the man a great while; and let me tell ye in
Private, I am to draw up _Articles_ against him. But I have been so busy
about my _Lord Chief Justices Articles_, and _Other Articles_ against _a
Great Woman_, that lay upon my hand, that I could not get leisure; and
yet I should have met with him long e're This too, for all That, but
that the _Committee_ Sits so cursedly Late: And then they have cut me
out such a deal of work about the _Succession_. Well I heard a great
Lord say, that _That History of his deserv'd to be burnt by the hand of
the Common Hang-man_.

Bum. _Bravely sayd,_ Citt, _I Faith: who knows but we two may come to
be_ Pillars _of the_ Nation? Thou _shalt stand up for the_ City, _and I
for the_ Country.

_Enter_ Trueman _out of a Closet._

    Enter _Trueman_.

_Citt._ Trepan'd, by the Lord, in our own way.

_Trueman._ Nay hold, my Masters; we'l have no flinching. Sit down, ye
had best, without putting me to the Trouble of a Constable.

_Citt._ Why we have said nothing, sir, that we care who hears; but
because you seem to be a Civill Gentleman, my Service to you, Sir.

Bum. _Ay, Sir; and if you'l be pleased to sit down and Chirp over a Pot
of Ale as we do, y're wellcome._

    _Citt's_ Faculty and Employment.

_True._ Very-good; And _You_ are the _Representative_ (forsooth) of the
City, and _You_, of the _Country. Two_ of the _Pillars_ of the _Nation_,
with a Horse-Pox; A man would not let down his Breeches in a House of
Office that had but _Two such Supporters_. Do not I know you, _Citt_, to
be a little _Grubstreet-Insect_, that but t'other day scribled
Handy-dandy for some _Eighteen-pence_ a _Job_, _Pro_ and _Con_, and glad
on't too? And now, as it pleases the stars, you are advanc'd from the
_Obort_, the _Miscarriage_, I mean, of a _Cause-splitter_, to a
_Drawer-up_ of _Articles_: and for your skill in _Counterfeiting hands_,
preferr'd to be a _Sollicitor_ for _Fobb'd Petitions_: You'l do the
_Bishops bus'nesse_, and You'l do the _Dukes bus'nesse_; And who but
_You_, to tell the _King_ when he shall make _War_, or _Peace_; call
_Parliaments_, and _whom_ to _Commit_, and _whom_ to _let go_? And then
in your Fuddle, up comes all; what such a Lord told you, and what you
told him; and all this Pudder against your Conscience too, even by your
own Confession.

_Citt._ Y'are very much Mis-inform'd of Me, Sir.

_True._ Come, I know ye too well to be mistaken in you; and for your
part, _Bumpkin_, I look upon you only as a simple Fellow drawn in.

    _Bumpkins_ account of himself.

Bum. _Not so_ simple _neither, it may be, as you take me for. I was a_
Justices Clerk _in the_ Countrey, _till the bus'nesse of the_ Petitions;
_and my Master was an Honest Gentleman too, though he's now put out of
Commission: And to shew ye that I am none of your_ simple Fellows (_do
ye mark_) _if ye have a minde to dispute upon_ Three Points, _I'm for
you._ First, _the_ King _is_ One _of the_ Three Estates; Secondly, _the_
Sovereign Power _is in the_ People. _And_ Thirdly, _'Tis better to Obey_
God _then_ Man.

_Citt._ Always provided, _Bumpkin_, that the Gentleman take no advantage
of what's spoken in Discourse.

_True._ No, there's my hand I will not; and now let's fall to work. If
the King of _England_ be _One_ of the _Three Estates_, then the _Lords_
and _Commons_ are _two Thirds_ of the _King of England_.

    _Bumpkin's_ way of Argument.

Bum. _Oh pox, you've a minde to put a sham upon the Plot, I perceive._

_True._ Nay, if y'are thereabouts:--Well; If the _Soveraignty_ be in the
_People_, why does not the _Law_ run In the Name of our _Sovereign
Lords_ the People?

Bum. _This is a meer_ Jesuitical Trick, _to disparage the_ Kings
Witnesses; _for_ They _are part of the_ People. _Now do you take up the
Cudgels_, Citt.

_True._ Do so, and we'l make it a short business, and let's have no
shifting.

    The Composition of the Committees.

Now to shew ye that I gave good heed to your Discourse, I'le run over
the Heads of it as you deliver'd them. First, for _Committees_, and
_Grand Committees_, what are they compounded of, but _Republicans_, and
_Separatists_, a Medly of People disaffected both to _Church_ and
_State_? This you cannot deny; and that they would not suffer any man
otherwise affected, to mingle with them. Now beside the _scandal_, and
_Ill Example_ of such _Irregular Conventions_, whoever considers their
_Principles_, may reasonably conclude upon their _Designs_: For they are
wiser, I hope, then to lay their Heads together to destroy themselves.

_Citt._ But it is hard, if _Protestants_ may not meet as well as Other
People.

_True._ Yes, _Protestants_ may meet, but not in the quality of
_Conspirators_, no more then _Conspirators_, may meet under the _Cloak_,
and _colour_ of _Protestants_. The intent of the _Meeting_ is matter of
_State_, and you turn it off, to a point of _Religion_.

_Citt._ But is it not matter of _Religion_ to joyn in a _Petition_ for
the meeting of a _Parliament_, to bring _Malefactors_ to a _Tryall_, and
to _extirpate Popery_?

    What Petitions warrantable and what not.

_True._ Such a Petition as you Instance in, is in the appearance of it,
not only _Lawfull_, but _Commendable_; But then it must be promoted by
_Lawfull means_, and under _Decent Circumstances_. 'Tis a good thing to
_Preach_, or C_atechize_, but it is not for a _Lay-man_ presently to
pluck the _Parson_ out of the _Desk_, or _Pulpit_, that he himself may
do the Office. It is a Good thing to execute _Justice_, but yet _a
private man_ must not invade the _Judgment-Seat_, though it were to
passe even the most _Righteous Sentence_.

_Citt._ The King may chuse whether he'l _Grant_ or no; So that without
invading _His Right_ we only claim the _Liberty_ of _Presenting_ the
_Request_.

    No Petition to be press'd after Prohibition.

_True._ That may be well enough at _First_; but still, after _One
Refusal_, and That with a _Publick Interdict_ on the Neck on't,
forbidding the pursuance of it; such a _Petition_ is not by any means to
be _Repeated_. _First_, out of _Respect_ to _Regal Authority_:
_Secondly_, as the _King_ is the _Sole Judge_ of the matter: _Thirdly_,
upon the _Importunity_, it is not so properly _Desiring_ of a thing, as
_Tugging_ for it. _Fourthly_, It tends many ways to the Diminution of
his Majesties _Honour_, in case it be Obtain'd: For it implys, either
_Levity_, or _Fear_; or (to make the best on't) the _King_ confers the
_Obligation_, and the _Heads of the Petition_ receive the _Thanks_. Now
adde to all this, the _suborning_ of _Subscriptions_, and the
_Inflaming_ of _Parties_, what can be more _Undutifull_ or _Dangerous_?

_Citt._ But do not you find many _Honest_ and _Considerable men_
concern'd in these _Petitions_?

    The Nation poyson'd with False Principles.

    The Injustice of our Common Wealthsmen.

_True._ Yes, in several of them _I_ do; and the main reason is This.
There's no man under _Five and Fifty_, at Least, that is able to give
any Account, of the _Designe_, and _Effects_ of this way of Petitioning
in _Forty_ and _Forty One_, but by _Hear-say_: so that This Nation
proceeds mostly upon the _Maxims_, and _Politiques_, which That
_Republican_ Humour deliver'd over to us: But yet let the _Thing_, or
the _Manner_ of it be as it will, Those that _disarm'd_, and _turn'd
back_ the _Kentish Petitioners_ at _London-bridg_. Those that _Wounded_,
and _Murther'd_ the _Surry-Petitioneres_ in the _Palace Yard_, only for
desiring a _Peace_, and in order to the _Preservation_ of his _late
Majesty_: _Those People_ methinks, that were so Outrageous _Against
Those Petitions_ (and Several others of the same kind) should not have
the Face now to be so _Violent, for This_. And whoever examines the
_present Roll_, will find the _Old Republicans_ to be the
_Ring-leaders_.

Bum. Really, _Citt_, the man speaks Reason.

    The mean ways of promoting their Designs.

_True._ Consider then the _Mean ways_ ye have of advancing your
Pretensions, by _Falshoods_, and _Scandals_, to disappoint Honest men of
_Elections_; The use ye make of the most _Servile Instruments_, to
promote your Ends; your _fawning Methods_ of _Popularity_ toward the
_Rabble_; your ways of undermining the _Government_ of the _City_, as
well as of the _Nation_; your worse then _Jesuitical Evasions_ in matter
of _Conscience_; your _Non-sensical Salvo's_, and _Expositions_ of
_Christian Liberty_; your putting out the _Church of Englands Colours_,
and calling your selves _Protestants_, when you are effectually no
better then _Algerines_, and _Pyrating_ even upon _Christianity it
self_; your Beating of the wood, in the History of our most _Seditious
Times_, to start _Presidents_ and _Records_ in favour of your own
Disloyal Purposes. The _Pharisaical_ Distinguishing of your selves from
the _Profane_ (as you are pleas'd to stile all others,) even in your
_Dresse, Tone, Language_, &c. Your Uncharitable _Bitternesse of Spirit_;
your _lying in wait_ for _Blood_; and laying of _Snares_ for the
_Unwary_ and the _Innocent_; and still vouching an _Inspiration_ for all
your _Wickednesse_; your gathering of _all Winds_ toward the raising of
a _Storm_; Your _Unity_ in _Opposition_, and in _nothing Else_: your
_Clamours_, and _Invectives_ against _Priests_, and _Jesuits_, when it
is the Church of _England_ yet, that feels the _Last effect_ of your
_Sacrilegious Rage_. 'Tis not so much the _Officers_ of the Church, and
State, that are _Popishly Affected_, but the _Offices_ Themselves; and
Those in the first place (as you chuse your _Sins_ too) that are most
_Beneficiall_. To say nothing of your wild _Impostures_ upon the
_Multitude_.----

_Citt._ Now you talk of _Impostures_, what do you think of _L'Estrange's
History of the P L O T_, and his _Answer to the A P P E A L_? Whether
are Those Pamphlets, _Impostures_ upon the _Multitude_, or _Not_?

_True._ You were saying e'en now, That _The History of the Damnable
Popish Plot_ was of your Writing; Answer me That Question, First; Was it
so, or not?

_Citt._ No, it was not of my Writing; It was done by a
_Protestant-Club_.

_True._ Why then let me tell ye, if a man may believe the _Preface_ to
That _Club-History_, or the _Notes_ upon the _Answer to the Appeal_ (for
I have read them all:) _L'Estrange's Pamphlets_ are great abuses upon
the _People_: But if you had the Books about ye, the matter were easily
clear'd by comparing them.

_Citt._ By good luck we have 'um all about us, that can any way concern
this Question. And look ye here now.


    Reflexions upon _L'Estrange_.

First, _He calls his_ Abridgement _of the_ Tryals, _The_ History _of
the_ Plot, _without mentioning one word of the Original Contrivance, the
Preparatives, manner of Discovery, and other Remarkables essential to a_
History.

2. _He omits_ Staly's _and_ Reading's Tryals, _which yet sure had
Relation to the_ Plot.

3. _In his_ Epistle, _he seems to drown the_ Popish Plot _with
suggestions of an_ Imaginary One _of the_ Protestants.

4. _The amusing People with such Stories, is notoriously a Part of the_
Grand Popish Designe.

5. _Whereas he tells us, that not one_ Material Point _is omitted, most
Readers cannot finde the substantial part of Mr._ Bedloes _Evidence
against_ Wakeman, _(P. 46 of the Tryall) So much as hinted at: Not to
mention the gross shuffles, and Omissions in_ Pag. 77, _and elsewhere._

6. _He charges the_ Printed Tryals (_in his FREEBORN SUBIECT_ P. 15.)
_with many_ Gross Incoherences, _and very_ Material mistakes; _yet
Instances but_ One, _and corrected too, as an_ Erratum.

7. _When Our Posterity shall urge these Tryals for proof against_
Papists, _how easily may the subtle Villains stop their Mouths, by
alledging from this Authour that_ no heed is to be given to the said
Tryals; _(being so publickly own'd by a Person of his Note, and Late
Qualification) to be guilty of so many, and such very_ Material
Mistakes.


    The Fore going Reflections Answer'd.

_True._ Observe here, _First L'Estrange_ expounds his _History_ in the
_Title Page_, by restraining it to the _Charge_ and _Defence_ of _the
Persons there mentioned_: Beside that he calls it an _Historical
Abstract_, and a _Summary_, in his _Epistle_.

2. _Staleys Trial_ had no Relation at all to the _Plot_, and _Reading_
was not Try'd for's _Life_; and so not within the Compass of his
intention exprest in the _Preface_.

3. The _Epistle_ acknowledges a _Detestable Plot_, and a _Conspiracy_:
but advises _Moderation_, and that the _Rabble_ may not dictate Laws to
_Authority_; for _that Licence_ was the Cause of the _Late Rebellion_.

4. It was more then a _Story_, the _Murther_ of the _Late King_, and the
_Subversion_ of the Government, and the _suppressing_ of these
_Necessary Hints_, and _Cautions_ is notoriously a part of the _Grand
Phanatical Design_.

5. In _L'Estranges History_ here _Pag._ 79 and 80. there's every
particular of Mr. _Bedloes_ Evidence in Sir _George Wakemans Tryal,
Pag._ 46. with many other passages over and above: whereas your
_Damnable History_ here _Pag._ 295. falls short at least by One Half.
And then for the _shuffles_, and _Omissions_ reflected upon, _Pag._ 77.
see _L'Estranges Words, Pag._ 88. _The Lord Chief Justice_ (says he)
_after some Remarkes upon the_ Romish Principles, _summ'd up the
Evidence, and gave Directions to the Jury:_ which is the substance of
the _Page_ cited in the _Preface_. Touching your _Elsewhere_, it is in
plain _English, No where_.

6. Look ye, here's more Juggling. He says S E V E R A L _Gross
Incoherences_, and you have made them M A N Y: and then you have left
out the _Parenthesis_, (_especially in the Latter of them_) which varies
the Case too. And I remember again, that the _Erratum_ was supply'd
after _L'Estrange_ had _corrected_ it: And sure it was a Gross one too,
to expose a _Protestant Gentleman_ for a _Papist, Nine times_ in _two
Pages_. I could shew ye several other _Material Mistakes_, but One shall
serve for _all. Pag._ 45. (as I take it) of _Irelands Tryal_; which you
will finde charg'd upon the Press, in _L'Estranges History, Pag._ 18.

7. Pray'e mark me now: _L'Estrange_ findes _Errours_ of the _Press_ in
the _Other Tryals_ and _Rectifies_ them, in his _Own_: Now if Posterity
shall finde in the _Right_, that the _Other_ are _wrong_, they are in no
danger of being _Misled_ by the _One_, in what is _Corrected_ by the
_Other_: And if they do not read the _Right Copy_ at all, there's no
harm done to the Other, but they must take it as they finde it. So that
this _Remark_ is so far from _Disparaging_ the _Proceedings_, that a
greater Right can hardly be done to _Publick Justice_ by a _Pamphlet_.
But now let the _Epistle_ speak for it _self_.




To the READER.

    The Epistle to L'Estrange's History of the Plot.

There has not been any point, perhaps, in the whole Tract of _English
Story_, either so dangerous to be mistaken in, or so difficult, and yet
so necessary to be understood, as the Mystery of this detestable _Plot_
now in Agitation. (A Judgement for our Sins, augmented by our Follies,)
But the world is so miserably divided betwixt some that will believe
every thing, and others nothing that not only _Truth_, but
_Christianity_ it self is almost lost between them; and no place left
for Sobriety and Moderation. We are come to govern our selves by Dreams
and Imaginations; We make every _Coffee-house Tale_ an Article of our
Faith; and from Incredible Fables we raise Invincible Arguments. A man
must be fierce and violent to get the Reputation of being
_Well-affected_; as if the calling of one another _Damned Heretique_,
and _Popish Dog_, were the whole Sum of the Controversie. And what's all
this, but the effect of a Popular Licence and Appeal? When every
Mercenary Scribler shall take upon him to handle matters of Faith, and
State; give Laws to Princes; and every Mechanique sit Judge upon the
Government! Were not these the very Circumstances of the late _Times_?
When the Religious Jugglers from all Quarters fell in with the Rabble,
and managed them, as it were, by a certain sleight of hand: The _Rods_
were turned into _Serpents_ on both sides, and the Multitude not able to
say, which was _Aaron_, and which the _Enchanter_. Let us have a Care of
the same Incantation over again, Are we not under the protection of a
Lawfull Authority? Nor was there ever any thing more narrowly Sifted, or
more vigorously discouraged, then this _Conspiracy_. _Reformation_ is
the proper business of _Government_ and _Council_, but when it comes to
work once at the wrong End, there is nothing to be expected from it, but
_Tumult_ and _Convulsion_. A Legal and Effectual provision against the
Danger of _Romish Practices_ and _Errours_, will never serve Their Turn,
whose Quarrel is barely to the _Name_ of _Popery_, without understanding
the Thing it self. And if there were not a _Roman Catholick_ left in the
three Kingdoms, they would be never the better satisfied, for where they
cannot find Popery, they will make it: nay and be troubled too that they
could not _find_ it. It is no new thing for a Popular Outcry, in the
matter of _Religion_, to have a _State-Faction_ in the belly of it. The
first late Clamour was against _Downright Popery_; and then came on
_Popishly Affected_; (_That_ sweeps all.) The _Order of Bishops_, _and
the Discipline of the Church_ took their Turns next; and the next blow
was at the _Crown_ it self; when every Man was made a _Papist_ that
would not play the Knave and the Fool, for Company, with the Common
People.

These things duly weighed, and considering the Ground of our present
Distempers; the Compiler of this Abridgment reckoned that he could not
do his Countrymen a better Office, than (by laying before them the naked
state of things) to give them at one view, a Prospect, both of the
subject matter of their Apprehensions, and of the Vigilance, Zeal, and
needful severity of the Government on their behalf. To which end, he
hath here drawn up an _Historical Abstract_ of the whole matter of Fact
concerning those Persons who have hitherto been Tryed for their Lives,
either upon the _Plot_ it self, or in Relation to it: opposing
Authentick Records to wandring Rumours; and delivering the _Truth_ in
all Simplicity. He hath not omitted any one material Point: There is not
so much as one _Partial Stroke_ in it; not a flourish, nor any thing but
a bare and plain _Collection_, without any Tincture either of Credulity,
or Passion. And it is brought into so narrow a Compass too, that it will
ease the Readers _head_, as well as his _purse_; by clearing him of the
puzzle of _Forms_, and _Interlocutories_. that serve only to amuse and
mislead a man, by breaking the Order, and confounding the Relative parts
of the _Proceeding_.

Having this in Contemplation; and being at the same time possest of a
most exact _Summary_ of all passages here in Question; This Reporter was
only to cast an Extract of these Notes into a Method: especially
finding, that upon comparing the substance of his own papers, with the
most warrantable Prints that have been published; his own _Abstract_
proved to be not only every jot as Correct, but much more Intelligible,
which being _short_ and _full_; he thought might be useful, and find
Credit in the world upon its own account, without need of a _Voucher_.

    _L'Estranges_ Narrative Justify'd.

    His Adversary detected

    A Bold and senceless libel

_True._ You have now the whole matter before you; the _Epistle_, ye see,
justifies it self: And then for the _Narrative_, I dare undertake he
shall yield up the Cause, if you can but produce any _One Material
Point_, which he hath either _Falsify'd_, _Palliated_, or _Omitted_, in
the whole _Proceeding_. But to be plain with you, _Citt_, One of the
_Authours_ of _your Preface_ is a _Common setter_, _a Forger of Hands_,
_a little spy_ upon the _Swan_ in _Fishstreet_; a _Hackny Sollicitor_
against both _Church_ and _State_: You know this to be true _Citt_; and
that I do not speak upon Guess; so that _Calumny_, and _False
Witnessing_ is the best part of that _Authours Trade_. And then the
_pretended History_ is a direct _Arraignment_ of the _Government_. He
takes up the _King_ and _Council_, _Pag._ 381. reflects upon the
_Judges_ in the very _Contents_, and elsewhere; he descants upon the
_Duke of York_ in opposition to the express sense and declaration of the
_Bench_, _Pag._ 145. and has the confidence yet to Dedicate this
_Gally-mawfry_ of audacious _slanders_ to _the Two Houses of
Parliament_. There is little more in the whole, then what has been
eaten and spew'd up again Thirty times over: and the intire work is only
a _Medly_ of _Rags_, and _Solacisms_, pick'd up out of _Rubbish_, and
most suitably put together.


_Citt._ You may take his part as ye please, But there's a Famous
_Lecturer_ charg'd him Publiquely for _Popery_, in his _Answer_ to the
_Appeal_; and for falling upon Dr. _Lloyd_.

    _L'Estrange_ charg'd as a Papist, by a Certain Lecturer.

_True._ He did so; but at the same time that _Lecturer_ found no fault
with the _Appeal it self_; and the best on't is, his _Tongue's_ no more
a slander then his _Pen_: And whoever reads what he has written
concerning the _Late King_, and the _Episcopal Church_, will think never
the worse of _L'Estrange_ for what he says. Now for the _Reverend Dean
of Bangor_, I dare say he never _spake_, or _thought_ of him, but with
_Veneration_. Let me see the book.

    The Ground of his Accusation.

Look, ye here, 'tis _pag._ 18. in _L'Estrange's Impression_, and 'tis
_pag._ 15. in _this_; and here's the Point [_Their Loyalty and Good
service paid to the King_ (says the _Appealer_ speaking of the Papists)
_was meerly in their own Defence_.] Now see _L'Estrange's Reply_ upon
it, _If it lies_ (says he) _as a_ Reproach _upon them that they did then
not serve the King out of_ Loyalty; _that which they_ did, _was yet
better then_ not serving _him_ at all; _and better in a Higher degree_
still, _then_ Fighting against _him_. And a little after. _It is worth
the Observation, that not a man drew his Sword in the opposite Cause who
was not a_ Known Separatist; _and that on the Other side, not one_
Schismatick _ever struck stroke in the_ Kings Quarrell.

And now for your Notes upon his Answer, they are so silly, that it were
Ridiculous to Reply upon 'um [_who knows_ (says he) _but the Regicides
were Papists in disguise_, _pag._ 19.] And a deal of such senselesse
stuff; enough to turn a bodies Stomach. And if you'd inform your self of
his Malice; look ye here _pag._ 4. _p._ 9. and _p._ 33 how he Palliates,
if not Justifies, the Late Rebellion, the Murther of the Arch-Bishop of
St. _Andrews_, and the drawing of the Sword against the King.

Briefly, 'tis an _Insipid Bawling_ piece of _Foolery_, from One end to
the Other. And it is not but that I highly approve of your _Zeal_ for
the Discovery of the _Plot_, and Suppressing of _Popery_, but we are not
yet to Trample upon _Laws_, and _Publique Orders_, for the attaining
even of those Glorious ends.

But now I think on't; deal freely with me; did you really go to the
_Registers_ ye spake of, to furnish _Names_ for your _Subscriptions_?

_Citt._ No; That was but a _Flourish_: but all the Rest we _Literally_
did.

    A gross Cheat upon the Nation.

_True._ Are not you Conscious to your selves of your Iniquities? who
made _You_ a _Commissioner_ for the _Town_, or _You_ for the _Country_?
But we are like to have a fine business of it, when the _Dreggs_ of the
_People_ set up for the _Representatives_ of the _Nation_; to the
Dishonour of the most _Considerable_, and Sober part of the _Kingdome_.
Pre'thee _Bumpkin_, with thy _Poles_, and _Baltiques_, how shouldst thou
come to understand the _Ballance_ of _Empires_? who are _Delinquents_,
and who _not_? the Right of _Bishops Votes_? And _You_ (forsooth) are to
Teach the _King_ when to call a _Parliament_, and when to let it alone.
And are not you a fine Fool i'the mean time, to Drudg for the Faction
that Sets ye on, to be afterwards made a slave for your pains?

    Lewd Practises of the Faction.

And then for You, _Citt_, with your _Mouldy Records_, your _Coordinate
Estates_, and your _Sovereign Power of the People_. Do not I know all
your Fallacies, your Shifts, and Hiding-holes? There's not one step you
set, but I can trace you in't: You have your _Spies_ upon all
_Libraries_, as well as _Conversations_; your _Agents_ for the procuring
of old _Manuscripts_, and _Records_, and for the _Falsifying_ of _New
ones_, to make them look like _Old Ones_. Nay, the _Papers_ of _State_
themselves had much ado to scape ye. Those that assert the _Just Rights_
of the _Crown_, you either _Bury_ or _Conceal_; only Publishing the
_Presidents_ of _Seditious Times_, in Vindication of such Principles.

_Citt._ I must confess I take the _Government_ to be _Coordinate_, and
the _King One_ of the _Three Estates_, with submission to be better
inform'd.

    Against Coordination.

_True._ If it be so, how comes it that the House of _Commons_ even in
their most Popular seasons, have still own'd the Crown of _England_ to
be _Imperial_? How comes it that all our _Laws_ are call'd the _Kings
Laws_: all our _Courts of Justice_ his _Majesties Courts_, and all
_Publick Causes_ try'd in the _Kings Name_, and by the _Authority_ of
his _Majesty_?

_Citt._ But have not the _Two Houses_ their share in the _Legislative
Power_?

    It is the sanction makes the Law, not the Consent.

_True._ You must distinguish betwixt the _Consent_, and the _Sanction_;
the _Preparatory_ Part is _Their's_, the _Stamp_ is the _Kings_: The Two
_Houses_ Consent to a _Bill_; It is only a _Bill_, when it is
_presented_, and it remains yet a _Bill_, even when the King has
_Consented_ to it; and in this _Common Consent_, in Order to a _Law_,
the _Two Houses_ may be said to _share_ with his _Majesty_: But then the
_Fiat_, that superinduces an _Authority_, and is _Only_, and _Properly_
the Act of _Legislation_, is _singly_ in the _King_. So that though they
_share_ in the _Consent_, they have no pretence at all to the
_Sanction_: which is an Act of _Authority_; the other but of
_Agreement_.

    The Inconveniences of a Coordination supposed.

And yet again, admitting your _Coordination_; First, every King runs the
hazzard of his Crown upon every Parliament he calls: For _That Third
Estate_ lies at the Mercy of the _Other Two_: And further, 'tis a kinde
of Ringing the Changes with the Government, the _King_ and _Lords_ shall
be Uppermost _One day_, the _King_ and _Commons_, _Another_, and the
_Lords_ and _Commons_, the _Third_: For in this Scale of Constitution
whatsoever the _One_ will _not_, the _Other Two_, _may_.

_Citt._ Well, but Ours is a MIXT Government, and we are a _Free People_.

    Of a mixt Government and a Qualify'd.

_True._ If ours be a _Mixt Government_, so as to any _Popular
Participation_ of _Power_ with the _King_, then it is not a _Monarchy_:
(which is the _Government Only_ of _One_) but if you'l call it a
_Qualifi'd Government_; so as to distinguish it from an _Absolute_ and
_Unlimited Government_, I'le agree with you. But let the _Government_ be
_what_ it will, and _where_ it will, let it do _Right_ or _Wrong_, it is
_Equally Unaccountable_, for there lies no _Appeal_, but to a
_Superiour_, and the _Supreme_ has _none_ but _God Himself_.

_Citt._ But if we be a _Free People_, have not _We_ as much _Right_ to
_Our Liberties_, as the _King_ has to _his Crown_?

_True._ Yes, we have, but the King has this Advantage of us, that _We_
may _Forfeit_ our _Liberties_ but _He_ cannot forfeit his _Crown_.

_Citt._ What if a _King_ will Transgresse all the Laws of _God_ and
_Man_? may not the _People_ resume their _Trust_?

    Power is from God, not from the People.

    Soveraignty of the People most ridiculous.

_True._ No, not unlesse you can produce an expresse _stipulation_ to
_That very purpose_. But let me shew you, First, the Errour of taking
That to be a _Trust_ from the _People_, which, in truth, is an
_Ordinance_ of _Providence_, For _All Power is from God_; And Secondly,
the _Absurdity_ of the very _Supposition_, even in the Case of a Trust
conferr'd by the People. If the _King breaks_ his _Trust_, the _People
Resume_ it: but _who_ are These _People_? If a _Representative_, they
are but _Trustees Themselves_, and may incur a _Forfeiture_ too, by the
same Argument. Where are we next then? For if it devolves to the _Loose
Multitude_ of _Individuals_, (which you will have to be the Fountain of
_Power_) you are Then in an _Anarchy_, without any Government at all;
and There you must either Continue in a _Dissociated State_, or else
agree upon _Uniting_ into some Form of _Regiment_, or other: and whether
it be _Monarchy_, _Aristocracy_, or _Democracy_, it comes all to a
Point. If you make the _Government Accountable_ upon every Humour of the
_People_, it lapses again into a _Confusion_. To say nothing of the
ridiculous phansy of a _Sovereignty_ in the _People_ upon This Account;
that they can never be so brought together either to _Establish_ or to
_Dissolve_ a _Government_, as to authorize it to be the _Peoples Act_.
For there must be, _First_, an _Agreement_ to _Meet_ and _Consult_.
_Secondly_, an _Agreement_ upon the _Result_ of That _Debate_; and any
_One Dissenter_ spoils all, where every _Individuall_ has an _Equall
Right_: So that unlesse the People be all of the same minde, This
Supposition will be found wholly Impractible and Idle.

_Citt._ But is there no Fence then against _Tyranny_?

_True._ Only _Patience_, unless you run into _Anarchy_, and then into
that which you call _Tyranny_ again; and so tread Eternally that Circle
of _Rigour_ and _Confusion_. _In fine_, the Question is this, whether
people had better run _Certainly_ into _Confusion_ to avoid a _Possible
Tyranny_, or venture a _Possible Tyranny_, to avoid a _Certain
Confusion_.

_Citt._ But where we finde _Positive Law_ and _Provisions_ to _fail_ us,
may we not in those Cases, betake our selves to the _Laws_ of _Nature_
and _Self-Preservation_?

    Self-preservation is no Plea for the People.

_True._ No, ye may not; for many Reasons. First, it makes you _Judges_;
not only _when_ those Laws take Place, but also _what_ they _are_.
Secondly, the _Government_ is _Dissolved_, if Subjects may go off or on
at pleasure. Thirdly, _Self-Preservation_ is the Plea only of
_Individuals_; and there can be no Colour for the exposing of the
_Publick_ in favour of _Particulars_. What would ye think of a _Common
Seaman_ that in a _Storm_ should throw the _Steers-man Overboard_, and
set himself at the _Helm_? Or of a _Souldier_ that shou'd refuse a
_Dangerous Post_ for fear of being knock'd on the Head, when the _whole
Army_, depends upon the Maintaining of _That Pass_.

_Citt._ Pray'e tell me what it is that you call _Government_, and how
far it _extends_? for you were saying even now, that the _Reason_ of
_all Governments_ is _alike_.

    What Government is.

    Certain Priviledges essential to Government.

_True._ _Government is the_ Will, _and_ Power _of a_ Multitude, _United
in some One Person, or More, for the Good, and safety of the whole._ You
must not take it that _all Governments_ are _alike_; but the _Ratio_ of
_all Governments_ is the _same_ in some Cases. As in the Instance of
_Self-Preservation_; which is only Pleadable by the _Supream
Magistrate_, in Bar to all _General Exceptions_; for he is First,
presumed in Reason, to be vested with all _Powers necessary_ for the
_Defence_, and _Protection_ of the _Community_: without which his
Authority is Vain. He is Secondly, Oblig'd in _Duty_ to exert those
_Powers_ for the _Common Good_: and he is Thirdly, entrusted with the
Judgment of all _Exigences_ of _State_, be they _Greater_ or _Lesse_;
wherein the Publick Good may be concern'd. Now put the Case that a
Magistrate should make a wrong _Judgment_ of Matters, and misemploy
those _Powers_; it were an Infelicity in the _Administration_; but the
_Sacredness_ of _Authority_ is still the same: And he is a Mad man, that
plucks down his _House_, because it rains in at the _Window_. And in
case of the _Magistrate_, it is not so much _He_, as _They_; for the
_King_ is (as I said before) the _United Power_ and _Will_ of the
_People_. And so Fare ye well.


_The End._




Transcribers Note

1. 'Fraudulant' changed to 'Fraudulent'. (Introdution)
2. 'deux ex machina' changed to 'deus ex machina'. (Introdution)
3. Closing bracket inserted. (The mean ways of promoting their Designs.)
4. Possibly this should be 'Gaols' rather than 'Goals'. (The way of getting hands in and about _London_.)
5. Possibly this should be 'Gaol' rather than 'Goal'. (A Salvo for a Lye.)
6. 'Dop' should read 'Drop'. (Consciences of State or Interest.)
7. 'original' changed to 'Origin'. (PUBLICATIONS IN PRINT 1964-1965- 109.)

_Errata._ (From the original, these errors have been corrected)
Page 1. line 24. for _his_, reade _this_.
p. 3. l. 27. for _Religion_ r. _Religions_;
p.11 l. 25. for _Hands_, r. _Heads_.
p.22. l. 9. for _on all_ r. _on to all_.




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