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Title: A Voyage to Cacklogallinia
With a Description of the Religion, Policy, Customs and Manners of That Country
Author: Captain Samuel Brunt
Release Date: July 4, 2005 [eBook #16202]
Language: English
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A VOYAGE TO CACKLOGALLINIA
With a Description of the Religion, Policy, Customs and Manners
of that Country
by
CAPTAIN SAMUEL BRUNT
Reproduced from the Original Edition, 1727,
with an Introduction by
MARJORIE NICOLSON
Published for
THE FACSIMILE TEXT SOCIETY
By Columbia University Press
New York: MCMXL
INTRODUCTION
_A Voyage to Cacklogallinia_ appeared in London, in 1727, from the pen
of a pseudonymous "Captain Samuel Brunt." Posterity has continued to
preserve the anonymity of the author, perhaps more jealously than he
would have wished. Whatever his real parentage, he must for the present
be referred only to the literary family of which his progenitor "Captain
Lemuel Gulliver" is the most distinguished member. Like so many other
works of that period, _A Voyage to Cacklogallinia_ has sometimes been
attributed to Swift; its similarities to the fourth book of _Gulliver's
Travels_ are unmistakable. Again, the work has sometimes been attributed
to Defoe. There is, however, no good reason to believe that either Defoe
or Swift was concerned in its authorship, except in so far as both gave
impetus to lesser writers in this form of composition.
Fortunately the authorship of the work is of little importance. It
lives, not because of anything remarkable in the style or anything
original in its author's point of view, but because of its satiric
reflection of the background of its age. It is republished both because
of its historical value and because of its peculiarly contemporary
appeal today. Its satire needs no learned paraphernalia of footnotes; it
can be readily understood and appreciated by readers in an age dominated
on the one hand by economics and on the other, by science. Its satire--
not too subtle--is as pertinent in our own period as it was two
hundred years ago. Its irony is concerned with stock exchanges and
feverish speculation. It is a tale of incredible inflation and abrupt
and devastating depression. Its "voyage to the moon" has not lost its
appeal to men and women who can still remember a period when human
flights seemed incredible and who have lived to see "flying chariots"
spanning oceans and continents and ascending into the stratosphere.
The first and most obvious interest of the tale is in its reflection
of economic conditions in the early eighteenth century. The period
following the Revolution of 1688 saw tremendous changes in attitudes
toward credit and speculation. A new and powerful economic instrument
was put into the hands of men who had not yet discovered its dangers.
With the natural confusion which ensued between "credit" and "wealth,"
with a new emphasis upon the possible values inherent in "expectations
of wealth" rather than immediate control over money, an unheard-of
speculative emphasis appeared in business. The rapid increase in new
trades and new industrial systems afforded possibilities of immediate
rise to affluence. The outside public engaged in speculation to a degree
not before known. Exaggerated gains, violent fluctuations in prices,
meteoric rises and collapses--these gave rein to a gambling spirit
perennial in man. The word "Projects" enters into literature as a
recurrent motif, strangely familiar to our present generation, which
needs only to turn Defoe's _Essay on Projects_ into contemporary
language to see the similarities between the year 1697 and the year
1939. That essay is filled with talk of "new Inventions, Engines, and I
know not what, which have rais'd the Fancies of Credulous People to such
height, that merely on the shadow of Expectation, they have form'd
Companies, chose Committees, appointed Officers, Shares, and Books,
rais'd great Stocks, and cri'd up an empty Notion to that degree that
People have been betray'd to part with their Money for Shares in a
New-Nothing."
Of the many speculative schemes of the early eighteenth century, none
is better known than the "South Sea Bubble." After a long period during
which English trade with the Spanish West Indies was carried on by
subterfuge, an Act of Parliament in 1710 incorporated into a joint-stock
company the state creditors, upon the basis of their loan of ten million
pounds to the Government and conferred upon them the monopoly of the
English trade with the Indies. In spite of these advantages, however,
the South Sea Company found itself so hampered and limited in credit
that it offered to convert the national debt into a "single redeemable
obligation" to the company in return for a monopoly of British foreign
trade outside England. The immediate and spectacular effect of that
offer is reflected in the many descriptions, both serious and satiric,
of an era of speculation which to many generations might seem
incredible--though not to this generation which has itself lived
through an orgy of speculation.
Clearly the South Sea Bubble, which reached its climax in 1720, was the
chief source of Captain Samuel Brunt's satire, which has an important
place in the minor literature called forth by the wild speculation
connected with the Bubble.[1] If the "Projects" proposed to Captain
Brunt[2] seem extreme to any modern reader, let him turn to the list of
"bubbles," still accessible in many places.[3] Nothing in Brunt is so
fantastic as many of the actual schemes suggested and acted upon in
the eighteenth century. The possibility of extracting gold from the
mountains of the moon is no more fanciful than several of the proposals
seriously received by Englishmen under the spell of speculation. As in
the kingdom of Cacklogallinia, so in London, men mortgaged their homes
and women sold their jewels [4] in order to purchase shares in wildcat
companies, born one day, only to die the next. As the anonymous author
of one of many South Sea Ballads wrote in his "Merry Remarks upon
Exchange Alley Bubbles":
Our greatest ladies hither come,
And ply in chariots daily;
Oft pawn their jewels for a sum
To venture in the Alley.
The meteoric rise in the price of shares in the moon-mountain project
of the Cacklogallinians is no greater than the actual rise in prices of
shares during the South Sea Bubble, when, between April and July, 1720,
shares rose from £120 to £1,020. The fluctuating market of the
Cacklogallinian 'Change, which responded to every rumor, follows
faithfully the actual situation in London in 1720; and the final crash
which shook Cacklogallinian foundations--subtly suggested by Brunt's
unwillingness to return and face the enraged multitude--is an echo of
the crash which shook England when the Bubble was pricked.
But its reflection of the economic background of the age is not the only
reason for the interest and importance of _A Voyage to Cacklogallinia_,
either in its generation or in our own. The little tale has its place in
the history of science, particularly in that movement of science which,
beginning with the "new astronomy" in the early seventeenth century,
was to produce one of the most important chapters in the history
of aviation.[5] So far as literature is concerned, _A Voyage to
Cacklogallinia_ belongs to the literary _genre_ of "voyages to the moon"
which from Lucian to H.G. Wells (even to modern "pulp magazines") have
enthralled human imagination. Yet while its fantasy looks back to
Lucian's Icaro-Menippus, who flew to the moon by using the wing of
a vulture and the wing of an eagle, its suggestion of the growing
scientific temper of modern times makes it much more than mere fantasy.
In the semilegendary history of Iran is to be found a tale, retold by
Firdausi in the _Shaknameh_, of Kavi Usan, who "essayed the sky To
outsoar angels" by fastening four eagles to his throne. The Iranian
motif was adopted in the romances of Alexander the Great and so passed
into European literature. The researches of Leonardo da Vinci upon the
muscles of birds and the principles of the flight of birds brought over
to the realm of science ideas long familiar in tale and legend. Francis
Bacon did not hesitate to suggest in his _Natural History_ (Experiment
886) that there are possibilities of human flight by the use of birds
and "advises others to think further upon this experiment as giving
some light to the invention of the art of flying."
John Wilkins, one of the most influential early members of the Royal
Society, in his _Mathematicall Magick_,[6] in 1648, suggested "four
several ways whereby this flying in the air hath been or may be
attempted." He listed, as the second, "By the help of fowls." Ten years
earlier there appeared in England during the same year two works which
were to have great influence in popularizing the theme of light:
Wilkins's _Discovery of a World in the Moone_,[7] a serious
semiscientific work on the nature of the moon and the possibility of
man's flying thither, and a prose romance by Francis Godwin, _The Man in
the Moone: or, A Discourse of a Voyage thither by D. Gonsales._[8] These
two works were largely responsible for the emergence of the old theme of
flight to the moon in imaginative literature; the English translation of
Lucian at almost the same time perhaps aided in advancing the popularity
of the idea.
The similarities between Brunt's romance and Godwin's tale a century
earlier are too striking to be fortuitous, and, indeed, there is no
question that Brunt used Godwin as one of his chief sources. An earlier
_Robinson Crusoe_, an idyllic _Gulliver's Travels_, Godwin's _The Man in
the Moone_ helped to establish in English literature the vogue of the
traveler's tale to strange countries. Domingo, like Captain Samuel
Brunt, draws from the "exotic" tradition. Both travelers find themselves
in strange lands; both experience many other adventures before they make
their way to the moon, drawn by birds.
But the century which elapsed between Godwin's fanciful tale and Brunt's
fantastic romance felt the impact of the new science. No matter how
clearly both tales draw from old traditions of legend and literature,
no matter how many elements of fantasy remain, there is a profound and
fundamental difference between them. Godwin's hero made his way to the
moon by mere chance; it happened that he harnessed himself to his gansas
during their period of hibernation. Too late, he discovered that gansas
hibernate in the moon! The earlier voyage took only "Eleven or Twelve
daies"--and that by gansa power! The earlier author did not suggest that
his hero encountered any particular difficulties of respiration, nor did
he pause to consider in detail the problem of the nature of the
intervening air through which his hero passed.
But a hundred years of science had intervened between Godwin's tale and
that of Captain Samuel Brunt. The later voyage to the moon is no less
fantastic in its outlines than is the earlier, yet it shows clearly the
impact of science upon popular imagination. The imagination of man had
expanded with the expanding universe. Brunt takes care to indicate the
vast distance between the earth and the moon by subtle mathematical
suggestion. Although both travelers flew "with incredible swiftness,"
the eighteenth-century flyers found that it was "about a Month before
we came into the Attraction of the Moon." Brunt's account of the
preparation for the ascent into the orb of the moon is almost as careful
as a modern account of an ascent into the stratosphere. His bird flyers
lay their plans deliberately and upon the basis of the most recent
scientific discoveries. There is nothing fortuitous about their final
ascent. Brunt was clearly aware of the work of many scientists, notably
Boyle, upon the nature and rarefaction of the air. His flyers proceed
by slow stages, accustoming themselves gradually to the rarefied air,
assisting their respiration by the use of wet sponges. They learn by
experience the answer to the problems with which Godwin's mind had
played but which many later scientific writers had considered more
definitely: what is the nature of gravity; how far beyond the confines
of the earth does it extend; what would happen to man could he "pass the
Atmosphere"? The generation to which Captain Samuel Brunt belonged might
still delight in the fantastic; but like our own generation, it insisted
that fantasy must rest upon that which is at least scientifically
possible, if not probable.
_A Voyage to Cacklogallinia_ is republished today because of its appeal
to many readers. It offers something to the student of economic history;
something to the student of early science. It is one of several
little-known "voyages to the moon," of which the most famous are
those of Cyrano de Bergerac, a form of reading in which our ancestors
delighted and which deserve to be collected. But apart from having a
not-inconsiderable historical interest, it remains the kind of tale
which may be read at any time because it appeals to the fundamental love
of adventure in human beings. Its author was undoubtedly only one of
many men who, under the influence of Godwin, Swift, and others, could
weave a tale in an accepted pattern. Yet there are elements which
make it unique; and it deserves at least this opportunity of rising
phoenix-like from the ashes of the past and being treasured by
posterity.
MARJORIE NICOLSON
Smith College
Northampton, Mass.
Nov. 3, 1939
[1: The best treatment of the South Sea Bubble for students of
literature will be found in Lewis Melville, _The South Sea Bubble_,
Boston, 1923. The author has also included in his volume extracts
from dozens of satires which appeared after 1720. He does not,
however, mention _A Voyage to Cacklogallinia_.]
[2: Pages 107 ff.]
[3: The list of "bubbles" may be found in Melville, _op. cit._,
chap, iv; Cobbett, _Parliamentary History_, VII, 656 ff., Somers,
_Tracts_ [ed. 1815], XIII, 818.]
[4: Contemporary letters indicating the interest of both men and
women in speculation may be found in _Historical Manuscripts
Commission_, XLV, 200, and CXXV, 288, 294-95, 349-50.]
[5: I have discussed the relationship between aviation and the "new
astronomy" in several articles dealing with voyages to the moon.
Bibliography may be found in two of these, "A World in the Moon,"
in _Smith College Studies in Modern Languages_, Vol. XVII (No. 2,
January, 1936), and "Swift's 'Flying Island' in the 'Voyage to
Laputa,'" _Annals of Science_, II (October, 1937), 405-31.]
[6: _Mathematicall Magick; or, The Wonders That May Be Performed
by Mechanicall Geometry_, London, 1648; in _Mathematical and
Philosophical Works_, London, 1802, II, 199.]
[7: _The Discovery of a World in the Moone; or, A Discourse Tending
to Prove, That 'Tis Probable There May Be Another Habitable World in
That Planet_, London, 1638.]
[8: _The Man in the Moone; or, A Discourse of a Voyage thither
by D. Gonsales_, [By F.G.], London, 1638. This has recently been
republished from the first edition by Grant McColley in _Smith
College Studies in Modern Languages_ XIX (1937).]
* * * * *
[Illustration]
* * * * *
A VOYAGE TO CACKLOGALLINIA:
With a Description of the Religion, Policy, Customs and Manners,
of that Country
by
CAPTAIN SAMUEL BRUNT
London:
Printed by J. WATSON in Black-Fryers, and
sold by the Booksellers of London and
Westminster. 1727
[Price Sticht, Two Shillings and Sixpence.]
Nothing is more common than a Traveller's beginning the Account of
his Voyages with one of his own Family; in which, if he can't boast
Antiquity, he is sure to make it up with the Probity of his Ancestors.
As it can no way interest my Reader, I shall decline following a Method,
which I can't but think ridiculous, as unnecessary. I shall only say,
that by the Death of my Father and Mother, which happen'd while I was
an Infant, I fell to the Care of my Grandfather by my Mother, who was a
Citizen of some Note in _Bristol_, and at the Age of Thirteen sent me to
Sea Prentice to a Master of a Merchant-man.
My two first Voyages were to _Jamaica_, in which nothing remarkable
happen'd. Our third Voyage was to _Guinea_ and _Jamaica_; we slaved, and
arrived happily at that Island; but it being Time of War, and our Men
fearing they should be press'd (for we were mann'd a-peak) Twelve,
and myself, went on Shore a little to the Eastward of _Port Morante_,
designing to foot it to _Port Royal_. We had taken no Arms, suspecting
no Danger; but I soon found we wanted Precaution: For we were, in less
than an Hour after our Landing, encompass'd by about Forty Run-away
Negroes, well arm'd, who, without a Word speaking, pour'd in upon us a
Volley of Shot, which laid Eight of our Company dead, and wounded the
rest. I was shot thro' the right Arm.
After this Discharge, they ran upon us with their Axes, and (tho' we
cried for Mercy) cruelly butcher'd my remaining four Companions.
I had shared their Fate, had not he who seemed to Head the Party,
interposed between me and the fatal Axe already lifted for my
Destruction. He seized the designed Executioner by the Arm, and said,
_No kill te Boy, me scavez him; me no have him make deady_. I knew not
to what I should attribute this Humanity, and was not less surprized
than pleas'd at my Escape.
They struck off the Heads of my Companions, which they carried with 'em
to the Mountains, putting me in the Center of the Company.
I march'd very pensively, lamenting the Murder of my Ship-mates, and
often wish'd the Negro who saved me had been less charitable; for I
began to doubt I was reserved for future Tortures, and to be made a
Spectacle to their Wives and Children; when my Protector coming up to
me, said, _No be sadd_, Sam, _you no scavez me?_ I look'd earnestly at
the Fellow, and remember'd he was a Slave of a Planter's, a distant
Relation of mine, who had been a long while settled in the Island: He
had twice before run from his Master, and while I was at the Plantation
my first Voyage, he was brought in, and his Feet ordered to be cut off
to the Instep (a common Punishment inflicted on run-away Slaves) by my
Intercession this was remitted, and he escaped with a Whipping.
I ask'd if his Name was not _Cuffey_, Mr. _Tenant_'s Negro?
"My Name _Cuffey_, said he, me no _*Baccararo_ Negro now; me Freeman.
[*_Baccararo_, the Name Negroes give the Whites.] You no let cutty
my Foot, so me no let cutty your Head; no be sadd, you have _bumby
grande *yam yam_. [*_Yam yam_, in Negroes Dialect, signifies
victuals.]"
He endeavoured to comfort me under my Afflictions in this barbarous
Dialect; but I was so possess'd with the Notion of my being reserv'd to
be murdered, that I received but little Consolation.
We marched very slowly, both on account of the Heat, and of the Plunder
they had got from some Plantations; for every one had his Load of Kidds,
Turkies, and other Provisions.
About Three in the Afternoon, we reach'd a Village of run-away Negroes,
and we were received by the Inhabitants with all possible Demonstrations
of Joy. The Women sung, danc'd, and clapp'd their Hands, and the Men
brought _Mobby_ (a sort of Drink) and Rum, to welcome the return'd
Party. One of the Negro Men ask'd _Cuffey_, why he did not bring my
Head, instead of bringing me alive? He gave his Reason, at which he
seem'd satisfied, but said it was dangerous to let a _Baccararo_ know
their Retreat; that he would tell Captain _Thomas_, and he must expect
his Orders concerning me.
_Cuffey_ said he would go to give Captain _Thomas_ an Account of what
had happen'd in this _Sortie_, and would carry me with him. As they
spoke in the Negroes _English_, I understood them perfectly well. My
Friend then went to Captain _Thomas_, who was the Chief of all the
run-away Blacks, and took me with him. This Chief of theirs was about
Seventy Five Years old, a hale, strong, well-proportion'd Man, about Six
Foot Three Inches high; the Wooll of his Head and his Beard were white
with Age, he sat upon a little Platform rais'd about a Foot from the
Ground, accompanied by Eight or Ten near his own Age, smoaking Segars,
which are Tobacco Leaves roll'd up hollow.
_Cuffey_, at his Entrance, threw himself on his Face, and clapp'd
his Hands over his Head; then rising, he, with a visible Awe in
his Countenance, drew nearer, and address'd the Captain in the
_Cholomantæan_ Language, in which he gave an Account, as I suppose, of
his Expedition; for when he had done speaking, my Comrades Heads were
brought in, and thrown at the Captain's Feet, who returned but a short
Answer to _Cuffey_, tho' he presented him with a Segar, made him sit
down, and drank to him in a Calabash of Rum.
After this Ceremony, Captain _Thomas_ address'd himself to me in perfect
good _English_.
Young Man, _said he,_ I would have you banish all Fear; you are not
fallen into the Hands of barbarous Christians, whose Practice and
Profession are as distant as the Country they came from, is from
this Island, which they have usurp'd from the original Natives.
Capt. _Cuffey_'s returning the Service you once did him, by saving
your Life, which we shall not, after the Example of your Country,
take in cold Blood, may give you a Specimen of our Morals. We
believe in, and fear a God, and whatever you may conclude from the
Slaughter of your Companions, yet we are far from thirsting after
the Blood of the Whites; and it's Necessity alone which obliges us
to what bears the face of Cruelty. Nothing is so dear to Man as
Liberty, and we have no way of avoiding Slavery, of which our Bodies
wear the inhuman Marks, but by a War, in which, if we give no
Quarter, the _English_ must blame themselves; since even, with a
shew of Justice, they put to the most cruel Deaths those among us,
who have the Misfortune to fall into their Hands; and make that a
Crime in us (the Desire of Liberty, I mean) which they look upon
as the distinguishing Mark of a great Soul. Your Wound shall be
dress'd; you shall want nothing necessary we have; and we will see
you safe to some Plantation the first Opportunity. All the Return we
expect, is, that you will not discover to the Whites our Place of
Retreat: I don't exact from you an Oath to keep the Secret; for who
will violate his Word, will not be bound down, by calling God for a
Witness. If you betray us, he will punish you; and the Fear of your
being a Villain shall not engage me to put it out of your Power to
hurt us, by taking the Life of one to whom any of us has promised
Security. Go and repose your self, Captain _Cuffey_ will shew you
his House.
I made an Answer full of Acknowledgments, and _Cuffey_ carried me home,
where my Hurt, which was a Flesh Wound, was dress'd: He saw me laid on a
Matrass, and left me. About Eight, a Negro Wench brought me some Kid
very well drest, and leaving me, bid me good Night. Notwithstanding my
Hurt, I slept tolerably well, being heartily fatigued with the Day's
Walk.
Next Morning, _Cuffey_ saw my Wound drest by a Negro sent for from
another Village, who had been Slave to a Surgeon several Years, and was
very expert in his Business. The Village where I was contained about Two
and Fifty Houses, made of wild Canes and Cabbage Trees; it was the
Residence of Captain _Thomas_. Here were all sorts of Handicrafts, as,
Joyners, Smiths, Gunsmiths, Taylors, _&c._ for in _Jamaica_ the Whites
teach their Slaves the Arts they severally exercise. The Houses were
furnished with all Necessaries, which they had plundered from the
Plantations; and they had great Quantities of Corn and Dunghill
Fowl.
Captain _Thomas_ sometimes sent for me, and endeavour'd, by his
Kindness, to make my Stay among 'em as little irksome as possible. He
often entertain'd me with the Cruelty of the _English_ to their Slaves,
and the Injustice of depriving Men of that Liberty they were born
to.
In about a Fortnight, my Wound was thoroughly cured, and I begg'd of
Captain _Thomas_ to let me be directed to the next Plantation. He
promis'd I shou'd, as, soon as he could do it with Safety. I waited with
Patience, for I did not think it just he should, for my sake, hazard his
own, and the Lives of his Followers.
About a Week after this Promise, I reminded him of it, and he told me,
that a Party from a Neighbour Village being out, he could not send me
away: For shou'd those Men miscarry, he might be suspected of having, by
my Means, betray'd 'em to make his own Peace with the Whites; for (said
he) the Treachery our People have observed among those of your Colour,
has made 'em extreamly suspicious. I was obliged to seem contented with
his Reason, and waited the Return of this Party, which in about ten Days
after, came back, laden with Provisions, Kitchen Furniture and Bedding;
but the most acceptable part of their Booty, was Two small Caggs of
Powder, of Eight Pound Weight each, and near Two Hundred of Lead. They
also brought with 'em the Heads of the Overseer, and the Distiller
belonging to _Littleton_'s Plantation, both white Men, whom they met
separately in the Woods.
Captain _Thomas_ now promis'd me, that the next Day I should be guided
to _Plantane-Garden-River-Plantation_, which was no small Satisfaction
to me. I left the Captain at Eleven o' Clock who gave Orders for the
entertaining the Party, and the spending the Day in Merriment. About
Three, when they were in the midst of their Jollity, one of the Scouts
brought Word, that he had discovered a Party of white Men, who were
coming up the Mountain. The Captain immediately ordered all the Women
and Children to a more remote Village, and sent for the ablest Men from
thence, while he prepared to give the Enemy a warm Reception. Every Man
took a Fusil, a Pistol, and an Axe: Ambuscades were laid in all the
Avenues to the Village; he exhorted his Men to behave themselves
bravely, there being no way to save their Lives, but by exposing them
for the common Safety. He told 'em, they had many Advantages; for the
Whites did not so well, as they, know all the Passages to the Mountain;
and that they could not, at most, march in the widest, above Two
a-breast; that the Way was rugged, troublesome to climb, and expos'd
them to their Fire, while they lay hid in their Ambuscades he had
appointed 'em.
But (said he) were we to meet 'em upon even Terms, yet our
Circumstances ought to inspire Resolution in the most fearful: For,
were any among us of so poor a Spirit, to prefer Slavery to Death,
Experience shews us, all Hopes of Life, even on such vile Terms,
are entirely vain. It is then certainly more eligible to die bravely
in Defence of our Liberty, than to end our Lives in lingring and
exquisite Torments by the Hands of an Executioner. For my Part, I am
resolved never to fall alive into the Hands of the Whites, and I
think every one in the same Circumstances ought to take the same
Resolution.
After this Exhortation, and the Departure of those laid in Ambush, he
order'd me to go with the Women, Children, and _Cuffey_, whom he had
sent to head the Men he had commanded from the other Village. I had not
been gone a Quarter of an Hour, in which time I was hardly got Half a
Mile, before I heard a very warm Firing. We went still higher up the
Mountain, thro' a very difficult Passage; the Village we were order'd
to, was about half a League from that we left, than which it was much
larger, and more populous; for here were at least One Hundred and Twenty
Houses, and as many able Men, with about four times the Number of Women
and Children.
The Alarm had been given them by an Express from Captain _Thomas_, and
we met about half way, near Fifty Negroes arm'd in the manner already
mentioned. They were headed by an old Woman, whom they look'd upon a
Prophetess. _Cuffey_ recommended me to her Protection, took upon him the
Command of the Men, and return'd, after asking this Beldame's Blessing,
which she gave him with Assurance of repelling the Whites.
The Fire all this while was very brisk, and the old Woman said to me,
that she saw those in Ambush run away from the Whites, tho' she lay with
her Face on the Ground. _No matter_, continued she, _let the Cowards
perish, the Whites will burn _Cormaco (the Village I came from)_ that's
all. They come again another Day, then poor Negroes all
lost._
The Shot continued near two Hours, but not with near that Briskness it
began; and the old Woman rising, bid me see the Smoke of _Cormaco_.
_Captain Thomas_, said she, _send away the white Man._
I staid by my Protectress, whom I durst not quit, tho' I did not like
her Company. About half an Hour after the Shot began, and continued for
near that Space pretty brisk, and then ceas'd. Soon after, we saw a
Negro dispatch'd by Captain _Thomas_, who told us the Whites had burnt
_Cormaco_, but were gone away, and that Captain _Thomas_ was coming. He
appeared not long after with _Cuffey_, and about Forty other Negroes.
I learn'd from him, that the _English_, by Fault of their Scouts, had
seized the Places where he design'd his Ambushes, kill'd Part of the Men
he had sent, and pursued the rest to the Village, where they defended
themselves, till the Whites had broke thro' the back Part of some
Houses, and set Fire to the whole Village; that he then retired with his
Men up the Mountains, the Whites following him; but he having the Start,
while they were busied in burning and plundering, he wheel'd round, and
came upon their Backs, and from the Woods and Bushes poured in his Shot;
his Men being all well cover'd, the Whites did them no Harm, and thought
proper to retire with the Loss of Six Men, and many wounded, for there
were Thirty and a Captain. We have lost, said he, Twenty Two Men, and
our Village is burnt. Soon after, we were join'd by about Forty more
Negroes, and we all went to the Village I was order'd to, which they
called _Barbascouta_.
The next Morning, a Council was call'd, which breaking up, four Negroes,
who had not behaved well in this last Action, were brought bound, and
laid in the largest Street upon their Backs; all the Women and Children
piss'd upon them; after which, Captain _Thomas_ told 'em, That the
Example they had given, had it been follow'd, must have ended in the
Destruction of 'em all; and tho' their Crime was pardon'd, and their
Lives given 'em, yet they must not hereafter think of being Freemen,
since they did not deserve that Liberty which they were not zealous in
defending; neither cou'd they, after the Disgrace they had suffer'd,
and which they deservedly had brought on themselves, hope ever to be
admitted into the Company of brave Men, were they exempted from the
Slavery to which their Pusillanimity had condemn'd 'em. After this
they were sold to the best Bidder. I remember, he who was sold at the
greatest Price, brought no more than Two Dozen of Fowls and a Kid, to
be paid the next publick Festival. The Scout who had not given timely
Advice of the Enemy's Approach, was next brought out and beheaded; and
Three, who run away at the first Attack, were hang'd. Out-Centinels were
placed, and all the Men lay that Night on their Arms, for _Qwanaboa_,
their Prophetess, foretold another Attack, which she apprehended wou'd
prove their Ruine, if not prevented by uncommon Vigilance and
Bravery.
Four Days pass'd, and none of the Enemy appearing, they began to recover
their Spirits, and grew less cautious; their most advanced Scouts were
recalled, and they imagin'd the _English_ had no Knowledge of this
Village. The Fifth at Night, when they were in perfect Tranquillity,
the _English_, who had, by a distant and difficult way, climb'd the
Mountains, and got above the Village, about Twelve at Night, came down
upon 'em, and were in the Streets before the Negroes had any Inkling of
their being so near. They enter'd the Village with Thirty or Forty Men,
and about half that Number intercepted all the Ways. Here began a cruel
Slaughter, for none they could light on were spared, but Women and
Children, who were all taken. Capt. _Thomas_ fought, and died like a
Hero; my grateful _Cuffey_, join'd by about a Dozen more, made all
possible Resistance; but finding their utmost Efforts useless, taking
me with them, with Menaces, if I did not go freely, they clamber'd over
some Rocks, and skulking thro' the thick of the Woods, reach'd a Morass
on the top of the Mountain, where we lay hid Three Days. The Fourth,
press'd by Hunger, Six of 'em ventured out to get Plantanes, but they
never returned; for which Reason, the Fifth Day we went in Search of
Food. At Night we got into a Plantane Walk, from whence, after having
fill'd our Bellies, and loaded our Backs, with the ripe Fruit, we
retired to the Woods.
Next Day, _Cuffey_ went out by himself, and, at his Return, told us,
he had observ'd a large Canoe with Sails and Paddles, at the Sea Side,
which belonged he believ'd to some Fishing Negroes. He propos'd the
siezing, loading it with Plantanes, and going to the _Spanish_ Coast,
which he was sure he could make shift to find, having been there with
the _Buccaniers_. This was unanimously agreed to by the rest. I desired
to be left behind, but their Fear wou'd not let 'em consent to my Stay.
At Night we went again to the Plantane Walk, where I hop'd to make my
Escape; but one of 'em always held me by the Arm, suspecting I would
give 'em the slip. Being loaded, we follow'd _Cuffey_ to the Canoe,
where we found a Negro asleep, whom they bound, and having taken what
Plantanes they thought fit, and found two large Runlets of Water in the
Canoe, with Fishing-nets and other Tackle, they set Sail about Eleven
o' Clock with a fine Hand Breeze, which carried us before Day to the
last End of the Island.
The next Day about Even, we saw _Hispaniola_, and landed at Four o'Clock
the Day following in a Creek, where we filled our Runlets with fresh
Water, and going up into the Country, we catched a Number of Land
Crabbs, which we dress'd and eat.
We lay two Days in this Creek, and in the Night of the second, coasted
along the Island unperceived; but as we cross'd the Streights between
Cape _Maese_ and Cape _Nicholas_, which divides the Islands of
_Hispaniola_ and _Cuba_, we were seen and chased by a Sloop, which very
soon came up with us, and proved a Free-booter, whose Crew was of all
Nations and Colours. They offer'd the Seven Negroes their Liberty, and
each Half a Share of an able Seaman, which they readily accepted. To me
they would have given a whole Share, but I refusing to join 'em, they
resolved to set me on Shore with the first Conveniency, tho' some were
for throwing me over-board.
We were Eight Days without seeing a Sail, but the Ninth, about Break of
day the Man at the Top-mast Head, descried one on our Leeward Bow. The
Pyrates immediately prepared for an Engagement; we clapp'd our Helm
a-weather, eas'd out our Main-sheet, and gave Chase. She proved a tall
Ship, and did not seem to make Sail to avoid us; which was the Reason we
brought to, and a Consultation was held, whether it was safe or not to
venture upon her? It was resolved in the Affirmative. In Consequence of
this, we bore away for her, and when we were in less than Gun Shot, we
perceived she was very deep, _Spanish_ built, and mounted Thirty Guns by
the Number of Ports, tho' we were surprized they were all close, and not
a Man appeared on her Decks.
The Resolution was taken, to board on the Quarter, which they did; but
seeing no body appear, they feared some Stratagem. However, some of the
Crew ran into the Steerage and Great Cabbin; but seeing nobody, they
went between Decks, and, upon Examination, found her a Ship abandon'd,
and that she had Six Foot Water in the Hold. They took out of the Great
Cabbin Two Chests of Pieces of Eight, with some Hammocks and Cloaths
from between Decks, and so left her.
The next Day, we spied another Sail, which gave us Chase: We lay bye,
till we saw she was an Overmatch for us; for by the Canvass she spread,
we concluded her no less than a Man of War of Fifty Guns. We clapp'd
upon a Wind, and made all the Sail, and lay as close as we possibly
could, but it blowing a fresh Gale, we found she gain'd upon us. This
obliged our Men to throw over the Treasure which they had found the Day
before, and had been the Cause of no small Joy. Finding she still gained
upon us, we threw over our Eight Guns, which together with the Wind's
slackening, was the Means of our Escape; for now we visibly wrong'd the
Ship, and in less than Six Hours, lost her.
The Loss of the Money was a considerable Affliction to the Crew, but
that of their Guns was so great a one, it had well near set them all
together by the Ears. Some condemn'd the Captain for ordering them to be
thrown over, others justifying what he had done, as the only Means of
their Escape. At length, good Words, and a Bowl of Punch the Captain
made for each Mess, laid this Storm for a while; but that which at first
pacify'd these turbulent Spirits, was what blew them up again: For when
they were all drunk, the Boatswain said the Captain was a Coward, and
took a Merchant-man for a Man of War: That his Fear had magnified the
Object, and deprived them of the Means of either taking others, or
defending themselves. This he said in the Captain's Hearing, who,
without returning any Answer, took a Pistol from his Girdle, and shot
him dead; and then seizing another Mutineer, he ordered him a Hundred
Lashes at the Gangway, which were very honestly paid him.
After this, he called all Hands upon Deck, and told them he should not
be fit to command so many brave Fellows, would he suffer any to insult
him: That if any on board thought he was a braver Man than himself, he
was ready to shew him his Error, either with his Fusil, Pistol, or
Cutlass: That since they had done him the Honour to chuse him Captain,
he would carry Command, which all brave and experienced Men knew
necessary, and none but Cowards would murmur at. That, as to the
Boatswain, he had deserved his Death, since one Mutineer was enough to
breed Confusion in the Vessel, which must end in the Destruction of them
all.
What, _continued he_, I have already said, I repeat, If any Man
has a Mind to exchange a Ball with me, I am ready for him; but while
I am Captain, I will be Captain, and let the boldest of ye disobey
my Commands.
This resolute Procedure quash'd the Mutineers, and he ever after kept
a strict Command, and was esteemed a gallant Man.
Two Days after this, we fell in with a _Spanish Garde de Costa_, and Two
Sloops; they boarded, and with very little Resistance, took the Ship,
tho' she had Fourscore Hands on board, and our Sloop but Ninety. She was
mounted with Twenty Guns, but her great Shot did us but little Damage.
The two Sloops were _English_, going to the Bay of _Campechy_ with
Provisions, which we wanted very much. They were taken but the Day
before by the _Spaniards_, and tho' they endeavoured to get off, when
they saw we had carried the Frigate, yet our Sloop wrong'd 'em so much,
that we soon came up with, and took them. There were Twelve _Englishmen_
on board the Prize, Four of which took on with us.
Our Captain now quitted his Sloop, went on board the Ship, which he
called the _Basilisk_, and left the Three Sloops to the _Spaniards_.
The Eight _English_, who refused to take on with him, he kept on board,
promising to set them on shore on the East End of _Jamaica_ in few Days,
but refused them one of the Sloops, which they desired; I suppose,
fearing, at their Arrival, some Man of War might be sent in Search of
him, or, may be, hoping to bring them over, for, it's certain he had no
Design to land them as he promis'd.
Our Ship's Crew was now extreamly jocund, for they had Provisions for
at least Three Months, with what they took out of the _English_ Sloops,
and, in Money, they found upwards of an Hundred and Sixty Thousand
Pieces of Eight, and Two Thousand Gold Quadruples. We lost but Three Men
in boarding, so that our Crew, with the Four _English_ who join'd 'em,
consisted of Ninety and One Man.
For Three Weeks after we met with no Adventure; wherefore the Captain
resolved to cruize off the _Havana_, and many of our Water-casks being
emptied, and we not far from the River of _Chagre_, we made for, and
came to an Anchor at the Mouth of that River, and sent our Boats ashore
with the Casks.
After we had water'd, we steer'd for the _Havana_, and between
_Portobello_ and _Carthagena_, we spied a Sail; as she clapp'd upon a
Wind, as soon as she descry'd us, and we went upon One Mast, we soon
met, but were as willing to shake her off, as we had been to speak to
her. She proved a Forty Gun _French_ Ship, which handled us without the
least Ceremony. We began the Fight by a Broad-side, as we were under her
Stern, which raked her fore and aft, and must, doubtless, as she was
full of Men, do great Execution. She returned the Compliment; and tho'
we lost but few Men, yet they miserably cut our Rigging. Our Captain
found his Business was to board, or her Weight of Metal would soon send
us to the Bottom. We enter'd the greater Number of our Men, who were so
warmly received, that but few came off; and as she was preparing to
board us in her Turn, if we had not, by a lucky Shot, brought her
Main-top-mast by the board, by which Accident we got off, she had
certainly carried us. Upon this we got our Fore-Tack to the Cat-head,
hoisted our Top-sails a-trip, and went away all Sails drawing. In few
Hours we lost Sight of her, and then upon the Muster, we found that she
had kill'd us Two and Forty of our Men, and wounded Fifteen, which was a
very sensible Loss, and made the Captain alter his Course, and think of
lying off _Campechy_, in hopes of geting more Men.
He order'd all the well Men upon Deck, and proposed it to 'em: They all
agreed it was the best Course they cou'd take, and many of them advised
to quit the Ship, for the first good Sloop which should fall in their
Way. The Captain answered, it was Time enough to think of that when they
had met with one for their Turn.
They now fell to knotting and splicing the Rigging, when the Day began
to be overcast, and threaten dirty Weather: The Thunder growl'd at a
distance, and it began to blow hard; a smart Thunder-shower was
succeeded by a Flash of Lightning, which shiver'd our Main-mast down
to the Step. A dreadful Peal of Thunder follow'd; the Sea began to run
high, the Wind minutely encreas'd, and dark Clouds intercepted the Day;
so that we had little more Light, than what the terrifying flashes of
Lightning afforded us. Our Captain, who was an able Seaman, at the first
Signal of an approaching Storm, handed his Top-sails, took a Reef in his
Foresail, and the Men were furling the Mainsail, when the Lightning
shiver'd the Mast, which was cut away with the utmost Expedition. We lay
some time under a Mizzen-balast, but were at last forc'd to put before
the Wind, and, for Four Days, we scudded with the Goose-wings of our
Foresail, in which Time we had not the least Glimpse of Sun or Stars,
but by very short Intervals; nor indeed did I see them, till after we
struck, but by Slatches. The Fifth Day, about Noon, our Foremast came
by the board; we broach'd to, and a Sea fill'd us; we were at our Dying
Rowls, and every Man gave himself for lost. But in this Danger, which
ought to have awakened those unhappy Wretches, to some Care of their
future Happiness, the Ship rang with Imprecations, and not a Word was
uttered, not back'd with Oaths and Curses. However, it pleased the Great
Disposer of Life and Death, that the Ship cleared her self of the Water,
which had filled the Waist to the Top of the Gunnel. They did all they
could to keep her Head to the Sea, and setting up a small Jury-mast,
to which they clapp'd a Top-gallant-yard, we again scudded, altogether
ignorant where we were; for a Sea which pooped us the second Day, had
carried away the Binnacle with the Two Compasses; and they either had
not, or knew not, where to find another. We left our selves to the Mercy
of the Sea and Wind, for we had no other Party to take; and tho' the
former run Mountain-high, yet finding the Ship made no Water, the
Captain apprehended no Danger, but that of being drove on some Coast.
I had not the least Compassion for any of the Pyrates, he alone
excepted; for he was much more humane to us who would not take on with
him, than could be expected from one of his Profession, which he told
me, one Day, he had enter'd upon much against his Inclinations, and that
he would gladly quit that detestable Life, were it possible for him: But
as he had no Hopes of Pardon, having, on board a Man of War, killed a
Boatswain, who abused him, he was obliged to continue his Villainies for
his own Security. This Man alone shewed some Sense of a Deity. I never
heard him in the Storm swear an Oath; but, on the contrary, I often
heard him, as by stealth, say, _Lord have Mercy on me! Great God forgive
me!_ The Seventh Day, a Sea poop'd us, and wash'd away this unhappy Man,
and the Two who were at the Wheel, whom we never more set Eyes on. Two
others immediately stepp'd into their Places. The Loss of the Captain
was an Addition to our Misfortune, which together with the violent
Continuance of the Storm, took away all Hopes of Safety.
On the Tenth Day, about Nine in the Morning, we struck upon a Rock with
that Violence, that those who were in their Hammocks were thrown out,
and those who walk'd the Deck, were struck off their Legs. The Pumps
were immediately try'd, and some ran into the Hold, and found the Ship
made a great deal of Water. They plied the Pumps, but in less than ten
Minutes, she struck again, and a Sea coming over us, I saw no more
either of the Ship or the Crew. I rose by the Side of a large Timber,
which I laid hold of, and got upon, heartily recommending my self to my
Creator, and sincerely endeavouring to reconcile myself to my God, by an
unfeigned Repentance of the Follies of my past Life, and by making a
very solemn Resolution, that if his Mercy should preserve me from a
Danger which none but his Omnipotence could draw me out of, to have, for
the future, a strict Guard upon all my Thoughts, Words, and Actions, and
to shew my Gratitude, by the Purity and Uprightness of my future Life.
The Want of an Observation for so many Days, and the Loss of our
Captain, the only Artist on board, with the Want of a Compass, was the
Reason of our being altogether ignorant of the Coast on which our Vessel
perish'd. The Piece of the Wreck which I was upon, was, after being
toss'd some Hours, thrown ashore, and I got so far on Land, that the
returning Surf did not reach me. What became of the rest of the Crew,
I know not, but concluded they all perish'd, till some Years after,
I met in _England_ one of the _Englishmen_ who would not take on with
the Pyrates, and who told me, that, by a peculiar Providence, he and
the other Seven, were, after four Days floating on broken Pieces of the
Ship, taken up by some _Indian_ Canoes; that they were two Years among
the _Indians_, who treated them very humanly; and when they were one Day
a-fishing with them about three Leagues from the Shore, they spied a
Sail at a great Distance, and signifying their Desire to return to
_Europe_, the _Indians_ very courteously gave them a Canoe and Eight
Paddles, with which they reach'd the Ship, it being becalm'd, and found
her _French_. They were received on board in the Latitude of ----
Degrees North, and when they arrived at _Rochelle_, were kindly used,
and sent to _England_.
As we naturally are fond of Life, I return'd Thanks to Providence for my
Escape, and thought myself extreamly happy, tho' thrown on an unknown
Coast, and destitute of every thing necessary to sustain me: But I
trusted in that Goodness which had preserved, and which I hoped would
provide for me. To despond, I thought, would be mistrusting the Bounty
of our Creator, and might be the ready way to plunge me into the
Miseries Men naturally apprehend in my Circumstances. I therefore
heartily recommended me to the Divine Protection, and enter'd the Woods
which lay along the Coast.
The Storm, which seem'd rais'd for the Destruction of those Enemies
of Mankind, and Shame of human Nature, ceas'd in few Hours after the
Vessel perish'd. I found in the Woods all sorts of _Indian_ Fruits, as,
Guavers, Cushoes, Sowresops, Oranges, _&c._ with which I appeased my
Hunger. I was desirous, yet fearful of discovering, whether I was in a
desolate or inhabited Country, and whether I was on the Continent, or
some Island.
I wandered in the Woods till Sun-set, and then apprehending Danger from
wild Beasts, I climb'd a tall Tree, where I sat, tho' I could not sleep,
till Morning. By the time it had been dark about an Hour, I was cruelly
terrified by hearing human Voices in the Air; for tho' I did not
understand, I plainly heard these Words: _Sup gravimiaco caputasco
deumorian_; with others which I could not retain.
Let any Man suppose himself in my Circumstances, and he will much easier
form an Idea, than I describe the Agony I was in on this surprizing
Accident. The Sun was two Hours high before I durst descend; but seeing
nothing to apprehend, I came down, prosecuted my Journey, as I had
begun, Eastward. In three Hours, or thereabout, I came to the Extremity
of the Wood, which was bounded by a large Meadow, enamell'd with the
most beautiful-coloured Flowers, and hedg'd on the three other Sides
with Limes, and with large Orange-Trees, placed at equal Distances
in the Fence. This, with the Prospect I had of Corn Fields, made me
conclude the Country inhabited by a civiliz'd People.
I cross'd the Meadow, highly delighted with the agreeable Prospect which
lay before me. To avoid trampling on, and doing Damage to the Corn,
I turn'd a little to the Northward, in hopes of falling in with some
Village, or meeting with some or other of the Inhabitants. I found here
very rich Pastures, and large Flocks of Sheep, intermix'd with Deer; the
Sheep were, as in _Jamaica_, cover'd with short Hair, like that of a
Greyhound; and the Deer, which I wonder'd at instead of flying from,
came up to me, and gazed, as if I was a Creature which they were not
accustomed to the Sight of. The Sheep following their Example, I was so
hemm'd in, that, had I not made my way with a Stick I broke out of a
Hedge, I don't know how I should have got clear of them.
What astonished me, was to see such a Number of Corn-fields and
Pasture-grounds, in a flourishing Condition, and well fenced, and yet
not meet with the least Track or Path. However, I walk'd on till about
Three o' Clock, as I guess'd by the Sun, which, tho' it was excessive
hot, was no way uneasy to me, being flickered by the Hedges. Being come
to the Banks of a large River, bordered with Cedars, the tallest I ever
saw, and being under no Apprehension of wild Beasts in a Country so well
cultivated, I laid me down under one of the largest, and slept till the
Sun was near setting; and doubtless, not having closed my Eyes the Night
before, I should have continued my Nap, had I not been wakened with the
Sound of human Voices.
I started up, and look'd round me, but could perceive nothing like a
Man. I then holloo'd, and heard somebody say, _Quaw shoomaw_: I
answered, _Quaw shoomaw_; upon which I heard Two speak, and answer each
other, as I thought, over my Head. I look'd up, but could, by reason of
the Thickness and Height of the Tree, see nothing. I went some Paces
from it, and looking up again, I heard a Voice, which utered these Words
hastily, _Quaw shoomaw? starts_; which is, having afterwards learned the
Language, _Who art thou? stand_.
Hardly had these Words reached my Ears, when I saw a Cock and Hen fly
down from the Tree, and light near me; they were about Six Foot tall,
and their Bodies somewhat larger than a good Weather. The Cock who was
the larger the Two, coming pretty near me, tho' he discover'd in his
Eyes both Fear and Astonishment, repeated the Words, _Quaw shoomaw_. The
Hen, who kept a greater Distance, cried out, _Ednu sinvi_, which I since
learn'd, is, _Whence come you?_
I was as much surprized to hear Fowls speak, as they were to see such a
Monster as I appeared to be. I answer'd in her own Words, _Ednu sinvi_,
upon which she ask'd me, I suppose, a String of Questions, with a
Loquacity common to the sex and then fell a cackling. Three or four
Chickens came running to her, and at the Sight of me hid their Heads
under their Mother's Wing, as I suppos'd her. One of them, who was a
Cock not above Five Foot high, at last took Courage to peep out, and
said something to his Father; and, as I guess taking Courage from what
Answer he return'd, ventured to approach me. He walk'd round me tho'
he kept some Distance, and spoke in a threatning Tone. I answer'd in
a melancholy one, and in my own Language, That I was an unfortunate
shipwreck'd Man. The Youngster, I suppose, thinking me a harmless
Animal, ventured to strike at me, and if I had not avoided the Stroke,
I believe he had split my Skull, for his Spurrs were about Eighteen
Inches long, near Five about, and as sharp as Needles.
I saw his Father angry at this Proceeding, and he gave him a terrible
Cuff with his Wing, and sent him home. Then speaking to me, he made
Signs I should follow him; I understood, and obey'd him. After we had
pass'd a small Copse of about a Quarter of a Mile, we came into a fine
Meadow, where we saw several Hens milking Goats; they sat on their
Rumps, and were as dextrous with their two Feet, as any of our
Dairy-Maids with their Hands. They carried two Pails a-piece with a
Yoke, like our Tub-women; and indeed there are not in _Europe_ any who
exceed this Nation in Mechanicks, as far as they are useful to them. I
have seen a _Cacklogallinian_ (for so they call themselves) hover with
a Pair of Sheers in his two Feet, and cut Trees with all the Regularity
imaginable; for, in a Walk of a League long, which is very common before
the Houses of the Nobility, you won't see (not to say a Bough, but even)
a Leaf grow beyond the rest. They are the best Weavers in the Universe,
and make Cloath of stript Feathers, which they have the Art of spinning,
and which is the Staple Commodity of the Kingdom; for no Feathers are
comparable to these for this Manufacture. When I pass'd the Meadow,
every one quitted her Employment to come and stare at me; they all spoke
together so loud, and with such Volubility, that I almost fancied my
self among a Score of Gammers at a Country Christening.
This Meadow led to a Farm House which belonged to my Guide, or more
properly, Master; for I soon was made sensible, that they look'd upon me
as an irrational Beast, of a Species hitherto unknown to them. We were
no sooner within Doors, than the Family flock'd round to admire me,
asking Abundance of Questions which I did not understand. One of the
Hens brought me a Bowl of Goats Milk, which I received very thankfully,
and drank off. They then offer'd me Corn, which I rejecting, one of
them went out, and fetch'd me a Piece of boil'd Mutton; for these
_Cacklogallinians_, contrary to the Nature of _European_ Cocks, live
mostly on Flesh, except the poorer Sort, who feed on Grain. They do not
go to Roost, but lye on Feather-beds and Matrass, with warm Coverings;
for, at the setting of the Sun, there falls so great a Dew, that I was,
in the Night, as sensible of Cold, as ever I was in _Europe_ in the
Winter.
After I had eat my Piece of Meat, a Bed was made for me in my Master's
Chamber, whither he conducted me. He made Signs, that I should lye down,
and was not a little astonish'd, I perceived, to see me open the
Bedding, go into it, and cover my self up. The pulling off my Cloaths he
did not wonder at, for the Rich and Great among 'em wear Mantles, and
cover their Legs with fine Cloath.
I slept very heartily, and very much at my Ease. My Master, who was a
rich Farmer, went the next Day to _Ludbitallya_, the Metropolis of the
Kingdom, about Forty Miles from his Home, to acquaint his Landlord
who was a Minister of State, what a Rarity he had in Possession.
He set out about Six in the Morning, and returned at Noon; for the
_Cacklogallinians_ will fly at the Rate of Twenty Miles an Hour. His
Landlord came in less than that Space after in great State. He was
preceded by Half a Dozen Servants, who carried large Battens in their
right Feet, and made no Ceremony of knocking any on the Head who came
in their Way. He was in a sort of Palanquin, covered with fine Cloth,
and powdered with silver Stars in Circles, supported by four
_Cacklogallinians_ adorn'd with silver Chains. As to his Person, he was
about Nine Foot high when he stood upright, and very corpulent; for,
what is wonderful among these People (if I may be allow'd that Term)
they grow in Bulk, and their Appetites increase in Proportion to their
Riches and Honour, of which I was an Eye-witness in the Persons of my
Master and his Male Children, for the Females are not perceivably
affected with a Change of Fortune. This holds good in its Opposite, for
Adversity will bring down the tallest to the Size or a Dwarf, that is,
to Three Foot.
But to return to this Minister, whose Name was _Brusquallio_. He was
cover'd with a rich loose Garment embroider'd, and wore on his Neck a
yellow, green and red Ribbon, from which hung a Gold Medal of a Cock
trampling on a Lion, which is the Badge of the greatest Honour the
Emperor of _Cacklogallinia_ can bestow on a Subject. He had a great
Number of Followers, who paid him a sort of Adoration. When he alighted,
my Master met him on the Out-side of the Door, threw himself on his
Belly, and held his Beak to the Ground, till the other order'd him to
rise; for I have since learnt both their Customs and Language. When he
came in, I was brought to him.
My Master, as I have since learnt, told his Lordship, that he fancied I
had some Glimmerings of Reason, notwithstanding the hideous Make of my
Person, and gave for an Instance, my getting into my Bed as decently as
a _Cacklogallinian_; and that of my Species certainly had a Language
among 'em, for he had heard me very distinctly utter some unintelligible
Words, and even repeat some after him.
I threw my self on my Knees, and in the most humble Posture address'd my
self to his Lordship, telling him in _English_, that I was a harmless
unfortunate Man, who was cast upon their Coast, was an Object of
Compassion, and below their Anger; that as I never did, nor meant Harm
to any, I hoped to experience his Lordship's Mercy.
He seem'd highly delighted to hear me speak, and viewed me with a
visible Surprize. My Master coming to me, said, _Ednu sinvi_? which I
repeated after him (as I perceiv'd he was desirous I should) to the
great Satisfaction of the Minister, who, as I have since known, desired
to purchase, have me taught the _Cacklogallinian_ and Court Language
(for the Court did not speak that of the Country, for a Reason hereafter
to be mention'd) and present me to his Imperial Majesty, as the greatest
Rarity in Nature. When he bid my Master set a Price, he answer'd, That
his Lordship's doing him the Honour to accept such a Trifle from his
Slave, he esteem'd beyond any Sum of Money, notwithstanding his Poverty.
Well, _says the Grandee_, bring him to me to-morrow, I accept the
Present, and you shall have no Reason to repent your trusting to me.
The Minister got into his Palanquin, and his four Bearers flew off with
him with that incredible Swiftness, his Attendance had much ado to keep
up with it.
The next Morning, my Master taking me by the Sleeve with his Beak,
led me out of Doors, and then walk'd forward. I stood still, and he
returned, pull'd me by the Coat, and walk'd on again; by which I guess'd
he would have me follow him, as I accordingly did, accompanied by one of
his Servants, who kept by my Side. He went too fast, for me to keep him
Company; which he perceiving, spoke to the Servant, and they took Wing
together, and each of them laying hold on an Arm, lifted me about Thirty
Foot from the Ground, and in Four Hours, alighted about a Quarter of a
Mile distant from a very large Town.
I had forgot to acquaint the Reader, that before I began this airy
Journey, my Master took a Mantle, which his Servant carried under his
Wing, and cover'd me, that I had only an Open to see and respire: This
was to prevent the Impertinence he might expect from the Mob at the
Sight of such a Novelty as I was.
When we alighted, he made Signs to me to lye down, sent his Servant to
the Town, and cover'd me all over. The Servant soon returned with a
close Palanquin, which they made me Signs to go into, and I was in an
Instant hurried thro' the Air, and set down in a Stable Yard, and
conducted from thence into a little House, to which this Yard afforded
the only Passage. Both the Avenue, and the Smallness of the House no way
answerable to the Charge and Titles of the Minister to whom it belong'd,
were Matter of Surprize to me; tho' I since learnt it was in him Policy,
that he made no greater Figure in Town than a private Gentleman, not to
encrease the Number of those who envied him; for tho' he was now Nine
Foot high, yet in a late Reign he was dwindled from the Height peculiar
to the Rank of his Family, of Six Foot Nine Inches, to Three Foot Ten.
In the Country, I was told his Seat far exceeded any of the Royal
Palaces, tho' as yet not finish'd, and both his Furniture and Equipage
were answerable; and he never travelled without a great Number of
Servants, who join'd him a Mile or two without the Gates.
This great Person shewed me to his family, every one of which admired
me as a most monstrous Production of Nature. My Master was rewarded,
by being made _Nosocomionarcha_, or Paymaster to the Invalids, had the
Title of _Quityardo_, which answers to our _Squire_, conferred on him,
and was ever after a Favourite of the Minister. He sprung up immediately
Nine Inches higher, grew considerably more bulky, and would eat you
Three or Four _Cacklogallinian_ Chicks in a Day; for the Ministers,
and those in Post, feed on their own Species, and not one of the poorer
Sort is in any Security of their Lives, in case a hungry Grandee sets
his Eyes on, and has a Mind to him. Nay, the slavish Spirit of the
_Cacklogallinians_ is such, that many of them, thro' Folly or
Superstition, will come in Bodies to the House of a Minister, and beg as
the greatest Favour and Honour, they and their Families may be served up
to his Lordship's Table; and I have seen the Fools, who had thus offered
themselves, and been accepted, if there was not immediate Occasion for
them, strut in the Streets with a Chain of Silver about their Necks,
which they look'd upon as the greatest Honour; and when call'd for by
his Lordship's Cook, run exulting, and offer their Throats to his Knife;
tho' this Nation was, in Time past, the bravest, and the most tenacious
of their Liberty, of any of the feather'd Race. But I have digress'd too
far.
My new Master, or, more properly, Lord, order'd an Apartment and a Table
for me, with a Tutor to teach me the Languages, by whose Diligence, and
my own _Avidity_ of Learning, I began in Four Months to understand a
great Part of what was said to me; and my Lord was so very much pleased
at my Progress, that he gave my Tutor a Post, which raised him about
Four Inches. My Lord forbore asking me any Questions concerning my self,
till I was perfectly Master or the Languages, which I was in about
Eleven Months.
He one Day sent for me into his Chamber, and accosted me in the
following Words:
Probusomo (_which is, Monster of Nature, the Name he gave me_)
I have suspended my Curiosity of enquiring whence, and how you came
into this Kingdom, till we could perfectly understand each other,
that I might not be troubled with an imperfect Relation: Now that
you are Master of our Language, tell me of what Part of the World
you are; whether you are of savage, or a civiliz'd Nation? if of the
latter, what is your Policy, what are your Manners and Customs, and
what Accident brought you hither?
I threw my self on my Face, and kiss'd his right golden Spur (for the
Grandees saw off those which Nature has provided them, and substitute
these in their Places) then rising, I answer'd, That I was of _Europe_,
a Country so distant from _Cacklogallinia_, that I was near Six Moons at
Sea, before I was cast on its Coast.
Why, _said he_, is it possible you can swim so long? for you being
destitute of Wings, can have no other Method of passing so vast a
Water.
I told him we pass'd the Seas in Ships, and gave him a Description of
them, but could not make him have the least Idea of what I meant, till
the next Day, that I hollow'd, shap'd, and rigg'd a Piece of Cork, made
Sails of fine Linnen, and brought it to his Excellency in a Bason of
Water. I told him, we were a civiliz'd Nation, and govern'd by a King,
who however did nothing without the Advice of his Great Council, which
consisted of Grandees born to that Honour, and _Quityardo's_ elected by
the People to represent them. That, to these Representatives the People
had delegated the Power of acting for them, and entrusted their Liberty
and Estates to their Probity; consequently nothing could be supposed to
be done by the Prince, but by the universal Consent of the Nation, and
the People could bear no Burthens, but what they voluntarily took upon
themselves for the common Good.
I have never, _answer'd he_, read, that any of your Species was seen
in this Kingdom before you; but it is certain you must have copy'd
your Policy from us. But, said he, are all these Representatives
publick-spirited, zealous for the common Welfare, Proof against
Preferments, Titles, and private Advantages? Have they always the
Good of the Nation at Heart so far, as to prefer it to that of their
Families? Do they sollicite the People to chuse them, or are they
their free Choice? If the latter, what Amends do the People make to
these Representatives, who neglect their private Affairs, to apply
themselves to those of the Publick?
I told his Excellency, that I did not doubt their being such Men as he
spoke them; that I was very young when I left my Country, and beside I
was not born in a Rank which, had I been of riper Years, permitted me to
meddle with State Affairs: However, I had heard from my Elders, that
none were elected, till the King sent his Mandates to the several
Provinces, ordering them to chuse the wisest among them to assist his
Majesty with their Advice: And as the Interest of each Province in
particular, and of the whole Nation in general, turn'd upon the Probity
and Judgment of the Representatives, to whom an unlimited Power was
delegated, it did not stand to Reason, that they would make Choice of
any, whose Love for his Country, whose Sagacity and Honour they had not
made Proof of; or at least, whose Life did not give them Hopes, that he
would prove a real Patriot.
That they were the free Choice of the People, was plain, by the
Backwardness shewn by those elected to undertake so weighty a Charge,
which had no other Recompence than the Applause of the Publick, for the
faithful Execution of their Trust. Another Reason which induced me to
believe the Choice such, was, that the _English_, (of which Nation I
own'd my self) were any one rich enough to bribe the Majority of a
Province, and are too wise a People to entrust their Liberty to such a
Person; for it's natural to believe, whoever would buy their Votes,
would sell his own: But, that the Majority of a Province was to be
brib'd, or that a free People would, on any account, risque their
Liberty, by giving their Representatives a Power to enslave 'em, either
by making the Prince absolute, and furnishing him with Standing Armies,
to maintain a despotick Power or else by selling them to Foreigners,
could never enter into the Thoughts of a reasonable Creature.
_Has_, said he, (who smiled all the while I held this Discourse) _your
Nation any near Neighbours?_ I answer'd, That, by the means of our
Shipping, we might be said near Neighbours to every Nation; but that our
Island was separated but Seven Leagues from the Continent, inhabited by
a warlike and powerful People. _Have you any Commerce with the Nations
on the Continent?_ We are, said I, the greatest Dealers in _Europe_.
_Have you any Religion among you?_ We have, in the main, I replied, but
one, tho' it is branch'd out into a great many Sects, differing only in
some trifling Ceremonies, in Essentials we all agree.
Religion, _answer'd my Lord_, is absolutely necessary in a
well-govern'd State; but do your great Men make any Profession of
Religion? or, to ask a more proper Question, do they do more than
profess it?
My Lord, said I, our great Men are the brightest Examples of Piety.
Their Veracity is such, that they would not for an Empire falsify
their Word once given. Their Justice won't suffer a Creditor to go from
their Gate unsatisfied: Their Chastity makes them look on Adultery and
Furnication the most abominable Crimes; and even the naming of them
will make their Bloods run cold. They exhaust their Revenues in Acts
of Charity, and every great Man among us is a Husband and Father to
the Widow and Orphan. They esteem themselves Stewards to the Poor, and
that in a future State they are accountable for every Doit lavish'd in
Equipage or superfluous Dishes. Their Tables are not nicely, but
plentifully served, and always open to the honest Needy. At Court, as
I have learn'd, there is neither Envy nor Detraction, no one undermines
another, nor intercepts the Prince's Bounty or Favour by slandrous
Reports; and neither Interest, Riches, nor Quality, but Merit only
recommends the Candidate to a Post: A Bribe was never heard of there;
which, together with the exact Justice practised, is the Reason that a
Minister, after Twelve or Fourteen Years, shall die not a Doit richer
than he was at the Entrance upon his Office: Nay, I've been told, that
a Paymaster General of the Army, after he had past his Accounts before
the Grand Council of the Nation, with a general Applause, found his
Patrimony so impoverish'd by his Charity to Soldiers Widows, he was
oblig'd to turn Merchant for his Support; but being unfortunate, he
petition'd for a small Government.
_As you say you have divers Sects of Religion, you must have Priests
among you, pray what sort of Men are they?_ I answer'd, their Lives and
Doctrine were of a-piece, their Example differing nothing from their
Precepts: That Hypocrisy, Avarice, Ambition, litigious Suits, Lying,
Revenge, and Obscenity, were Vices known to 'em by Name only: That they
were a mortify'd Set of Men, who look'd upon nothing transitory worth
their Concern; and having their Thoughts always employ'd on Meditations
of a future Happiness, neglected every thing on Earth but their Duty;
and for this Reason, they often became a Prey to Knaves, who slipp'd no
Opportunity of spoiling them, knowing their Lenity such, that, if
detected, they should not be prosecuted. I have been assured, that a
Priest being told, such a Farmer had stole away a great many Tithe
Sheafs, the good Divine answer'd, _If he's poor, it's no Theft; what I
have belongs to the Needy, and he takes but his own_. The Day after he
sent him all the Corn he was Master of, and by this Act of Charity,
wou'd have starved before next Harvest, if a Minister of State, in love
with his Virtue, had not provided for him. And I myself knew one,
who hearing black Puddings were a Preservative against pestilential
Infections, and that the Plague was within Two Thousand Leagues of our
Island, laid out his whole Patrimony in Puddings, and sent 'em to every
Sea-port in the Kingdom.
_Have you Physicians among you?_ We have, said I, Men of extensive
Charity, great Humility, profound Learning, without the least Tincture
of Vanity. They are so very conscientious, that shou'd they prescribe
for a Patient, and he recover before he had taken all the Druggs brought
in, they will pay for those which remain, out of their own Pockets.
They never take a fee, but when they prescribe, tho' they visit you
frequently, and never prescribe, without they see an absolute Necessity.
They a modest, that they attribute the Recovery of a Person to divine
Providence, and are ready to accuse themselves of Ignorance or
Negligence should he die under their Hands.
_Have you any Lawyers in your part of the World?_ Lawyers, said I, we
have, but not more than necessary.
_You have then_, said my Lord, _very few, or are a litigious People.
What sort of Creatures are they?_ They are, said I, brought up many
Years in the Study of the Laws, and pass a strict Examination, not only
as to their Knowledge, but their Morals, before they are admitted to the
Bar; which is the Reason, that we have no Tricks, no Delays, to weary
and ruine the poor Client who has a Right, but no Money; they come
directly to the Merits of the Cause, and never endeavour by their
Rhetorick to put a fair Face on a bad one; and not one, if his Client
does not deceive him, will appear on the Side of Oppression or
Injustice; and if he is himself impos'd upon, when he perceives it, he
will not defend the Wrong. This Care of examining into the Probity of
the Students, and Candidates for the Bar, is the Reason our Lawyers are
very near in as great Reputation as our Priests.
Do you know from what you have said, _Probusomo_, that I conclude
your Statesmen Fools, and that you will soon fall a Prey to some
other Nation; or you either very ignorant of your National Affairs,
or a very great Lyar; or otherwise think me easily impos'd upon. I
have been many Years at the Head of the _Cacklogallinian_ Affairs,
under our August Master, _Hippomina Connuferento_, Darling of the
Sun, Delight of the Moon, Terror of the Universe, Gate of Happiness,
Source of Honour, Disposer of Kingdoms, and High Priest of the
_Cacklogallinian_ Church. I have, I say, long, in Obedience to this
Most Potent Prince, acted as Prime Minister, and to tell me, that
such a one will baulk his Master's, or his own Interest, on the
Score of Religion; nay, in his publick Capacity, that he believes
one Word of it, or has Ears for Justice or Compassion, wou'd be the
same thing as telling me, a Flatterer, in his Encomiums has a strict
Eye to Truth, or that a Poet who writes in Praise of great Men,
believes them really possess'd of the Virtues he attributes to 'em,
and has no other View in his Epistle than that of edifying others,
by shewing the bright Example of his Patrons. My Business now calls
me to Court; the Emperor, as yet, has never heard of you: For
whoever dares acquaint him with any thing, without my Permission,
passes his Time very ill. To Morrow, I'll present you to His
Majesty.
He left the Room, and I retired to my Apartment, where none cou'd come
at me, but who pass'd thro' my Lord's, which was Death to do, or even
to fly within Twenty Yards of his House, without Permission. Nay, the
proudest among them, and those of the highest Rank alight at his
Outer-gate, and walk into the House.
The next Morning my Lord came into my Apartment:
"Well, _Probusomo_, said he, I intend this Day to present you to his
Imperial Majesty; and tho' you are of a Species hitherto unknown in
our Parts of the World, and are, for that Reason, look'd upon as a
kind of Monster, as perhaps one of us should be, were we to appear
in your Nation, yet I have observ'd some Points of Discretion in
your Behaviour, and I begin to have a Kindness for you, for which
Reason I intend to instruct you how to demean your self; and if you
are wise enough to act and be guided by the Counsels I shall
prescribe to you, while you are at Court, I can, in spite of your
awkard Form, get you naturalized, and then perhaps may prefer you to
some Charge in the Government, considerable enough to enable you to
pass the rest of your Days in Ease and Plenty.
"You that don't know what a Court is (_proceeded he_) should receive
some Idea of it before you enter there. You must first be informed,
that Emperors do not always trouble themselves with the Affairs of
State; for they sometimes pass their whole Lives in a continued
Round of indolent Pleasures, while their Favourites govern all. I
don't doubt but you have already made your Observation upon the
servile Crowd who attend my Motions, who wait upon my Commands, with
an Obsequiousness that perhaps is not practised in your Parts of the
World, betwixt Creatures of the same Species, yet many of them hate
me, as I do them,--perhaps you'll think this strange; but when the
secret Springs of this Attachment to my Interest come to unfold
themselves to you, which will soon happen, by the Observations I see
you are capable of making, your Admiration will cease. However, I
shall be a little particular in explaining some Matters to you, that
you may thereby be the better qualified to serve my
Interest.
"You must then know, that all this assiduous Court is not paid to my
Person, but to my Place. They know, that I not only hold the Reins
of the Government in my Hands, but keep the publick Treasure under
my own Eye, and that the Power of giving is only mine. It is not
their Love, but their Avarice, that makes them thus obedient to my
Nod; and the same Respect would be paid to the meanest of my
Domesticks, were such a one put in my Place.
"Their Hatred to me proceeds from various Causes. In some it is Envy,
because they think themselves affronted and injur'd by my great
Rise, as knowing themselves to be of greater Consideration in their
Country, and fancifying themselves themselves to be as well
qualified by their Parts. Others again are out of Humour, because I
do not comply with all their unreasonable Demands, their Luxury
always keeping them necessitous. Some of these are such as have
Parts enough to be troublesome; they are hard to be managed, and
indeed are the most dangerous Creatures I have to deal with. There
is a third Sort, who hate and oppose me, only because they love
their Country, but these I don't much fear, for their Party is very
weak at present.
"And since I am upon this Subject, I can't forbear observing to you,
that were it not for the Luxury of some, and the Folly of others, I
could never have stood my Ground so long, and executed those
Measures which I have brought about; and happy it is for a Person in
my Station (if he has any odd Measure in View) that many of the
upper Rank should happen to be Fools; I have myself kept several
Persons dancing Attendance after me, Year after Year, made them
maintain in publick Assemblies, that Nine was more than Fifteen;
that Black was White and a Hundred other things of equal Absurdity,
only by promising to stick a parti-colour'd Feather in their Tails;
and when this was done, it only made them the Scorn and Jest of
every thing of good Sense: Yet it answered my Purpose, and did not
hinder others of equal Folly from making Court for the same thing.
"Thus I have accounted with you why these People are subservient to
me, while they hate me; but I have not given you the Reason on my
Side for keeping up this Correspondence and Union with them, for
whom I have as little Esteem as they can have for me. Then, in a
Word it is, I can't do without them. This you'll easily comprehend
when you understand the Nature of our Government; for you'll know,
that this Power here is lodged in the many, not in the few: It is
they who can abolish old Laws, and make new; the Power of Life and
Death is in them, and from their Decrees there is no Appeal; and
tho' I do all, and command all, nay, command even them, yet the
Right is theirs, and they might exert it all times if they had
Virtue enough to break off their Correspondence with me.
"Things being in this Situation, no doubt, you'll think my
Establishment well fix'd; but I am not without my Fears and my
Dangers, and there is no judging of the Power of one in my Station,
by the Flattery that is paid him, for Flatterers take things
frequently by outward Appearances; and notwithstanding my arbitrary
manner of treating some Persons, my Safety is depending upon the
Breath of others, and I am obliged to pay a more servile Court to
some behind the Curtain, than is paid to me without.
"Those upon whom my Fate and Fortune depend, are the _Squabbaws_ of
the Court (the Reader is to understand, that this is a Name for
certain Females, who are maintain'd for the Emperor's Luxury and
Pleasure, and always sojourn at Court) and it is to their Avarice
that I owe my Grandeur, as well as its Continuance so long. There
was a Time, when I foolishly mistook my own Interest so far, as by
my Conduct to give some Offence to these _Squabbaws_ for which I
suffered a severe Disgrace: I then endeavour'd to shelter my self
among those who are stiled the Patriots, but they would neither
receive me into their Counsels, nor put the least Trust in me. I had
then Leisure to reflect on the Folly of this Conduct, and had Time
to compute how much I was a Loser, by putting on the Mask of the
Patriot and, I confess, it had such an Effect upon me, and gave me
such an Aversion to Patriotism, that I could never prevail upon
myself to do any thing for the publick Good ever since.
"I then immediately apply'd all my Thoughts towards making my Peace,
and there fell out a Chain of lucky Incidents, which happily brought
it about. One of these was the Death of several great Personages,
who were too mighty for me at that time in Rank and Dignity, and
whose Parts eclipsed mine in the Opinion of the Publick, tho' I
always thought otherwise.
"Their Deaths were so sudden, that the Emperor was puzzled whom to
chuse in their Places, (it being necessary they should soon be
fill'd up) and he had but a very small Acquaintance among his
People; so that he was under a kind of Necessity of throwing his
Affairs into my Hands, I having the Reputation of being pretty well
practised in certain Branches of his Revenues.
"I had Reason to suspect, that this new Preferment was not intended
as a Favour, and that I was to continue no longer in this Station,
than till some other Person more agreeable could be fix'd upon; but
in order to improve the Opportunity, I apply'd my self strenuously
to the Avarice of the _Squabbaws_, and gave with Prodigality; for I
bore in Mind my former Miscarriages. This had all its Effect; they
had never met with a Person so fit for their Purpose, and by these
Arguments they began to be convinc'd, that if another should be
preferr'd to my Place, they would be no Gainers by the Change.
"Since this good Understanding betwixt us, Matters have been so
managed, that no Person has had Access to the Emperor, but thro' my
Recommendation; so that my Enemies cannot fill his Ears with
Complaints of my Administration; and whenever I observe any Person
attempting to lay the State of Affairs before his Imperial Majesty,
the _Squabbaws_, by my Instructions, are to insinuate into the royal
Ear some Jealousies and Fears of that Person, that the Emperor may
forbid his Admittance; so that he only sees with my Eyes, and hears
by my Report.
"As this in a great Measure has render'd me safe against the Attempts
of my Enemies, yet I can't deny but that it has encreas'd their
Number, and furnish'd them with Matter to clamour against me; and
these Clamours have possess'd the Publick with a kind of an Aversion
to my Conduct, tho' they have not reach'd the Throne.
"But as it is not possible, but that the Officers of State belonging
to a great Emperor, of which there must be many in Number, must
sometimes have Opportunities of talking with him, I have taken Care
to prevent any Danger from thence, by chusing for those Posts Birds
of the weakest Capacities, altogether ignorant of the Affairs of the
Empire; for one in a high Station, who makes the publick Interest
subservient to his own, will never be safe, unless he takes Care,
that no Creature who acts with him, shall have any Sense except
himself. I am not the first who have laid this down as a Maxim; some
of my Predecessors began to practise it, as a necessary Piece of
Self-Defence. 'Tis true I have carried it a little further than
they, and with greater Reason, because I have not forgot in how bad
a Light I stood when _Fowls_ of Parts sway'd the publick Counsels,
with what Sagacity they saw thro' all my private Views and Designs,
and with what Facility they brought about my Disgrace; and
therefore, when I have discover'd in any of those concern'd with me
in Business, a fine Discernment, and a Genius for great Affairs, I
have from that Minute look'd upon such as dangerous, and for that
Reason either procured their Disgrace, or under the Pretence of
doing them Honour, prevail'd upon the Emperor to confer upon them
the Government of some distant Province, where they are removed too
far from the Imperial Counsels, to be able to do me any
Harm.
"But to come nearer to my present Purpose; my Design of placing you
at Court, is to serve as a Spy for me upon the _Squabbaws_; for my
Enemies, who have tried in vain all other Means to overturn me, may
perhaps at last attempt it that Way; and the Avarice of these
_Squabbaws_, which has hitherto been my Support, may one Time or
other (if I am not very vigilant) prove my Ruine. For if my Enemies
should bribe them, to be privately introduced to confer with the
Emperor, there is an End of my Reign; for I am not insensible, that
his Imperial Majesty has no Personal Affection for me, and it is his
own Ease and Indolence that hinders him from looking out for some
other Servant to supply my Place; for Alterations cannot be made
without some little Trouble.
"Be therefore vigilant for my Interest, as you value your own: Be
always quick in your Intelligence, watch every Step and Motion of
the _Squabbaws_, and acquaint me with every thing that passes in
their most secret Transactions. Let me know who are their Advisers,
their Favourites, their Companions; but above all, be quick in
informing me, if any Person should be admitted to confer with the
Emperor; and if possible, hear what is the Subject of their
Discourse. Your grotesque Form may recommend you to the _Squabbaws_;
for Animals sometimes become Favourites amongst us, only for the
Oddness of their Figure. They will say or do any thing before you,
because they will never imagine you capable of making any Remarks;
for the _Cacklogallinians_ have such a Notion, that no Creatures are
endued with Reason like themselves.
"But it will be necessary to instruct you in the Manner of making
your Address, when you enter the Court. You must remember then to
pay your Compliments to the _Squabbaws_, before you do to the
Emperor; and of these the _Vultuaquilians_ claim the Precedence to
those of our own Nation, particularly the bulkiest. It is the
Praftice here to do so, for the Emperor, as to what regards himself,
is no great Lover of Ceremony. The Form of addressing these
_Squabbaws_ has something in it very singular; but the servile
Manners of the _Cacklogallinians_ to those in any Power has made it
necessary to be comply'd with, and is the Cause that they now expect
it. You must make a low Obeisance to the Ground, at which time they
will turn their Backsides upon you, and spreading all the Feathers
of their Tails, give you an Opportunity of saluting them behind. You
will see the _Cacklogallinians_ of Figure and Rank pressing in,
endeavouring who shall be first in kissing the Posteriors of these
_Squabbaws_; and those upon whom they are graciously pleased to turn
their Backsides, and spread their Tails, return highly satisfied, as
if some extraordinary Honour had been conferr'd upon them; nay, I my
self am obliged to do it in as obsequious a Manner as any other,
every time I approach them."
When he had spoke these Words, a Servant came in to give him Notice,
that the Coach was ready. He ordered me to put on my Mantle, and attend
him: I did so, and he was pleased to do me the Honour to carry me with
him in his Coach. In the Way, he discoursed me upon several Subjects.
Among other things, it came into his Head to enquire of me, whether, in
the Parts of the World from whence I came, there were any such things as
Poets. I gave him to understand, that we had several who had been famous
in my own Country. He desired to know what kind of Persons they were: I
answered him, they were the faithful Registers of the glorious Actions
of great Men, whose Praises they sung, in order to stir up others, by
their Examples, to the Practice of Vertue, and Love of their Country;
and that as it required a great Genius, and fine Understanding, to be a
good Poet, they were, for that Reason, highly caressed by the Great, and
their Works so well paid for, that it was as rare to see a Poet poor, as
a Minister of State grow rich by his Employment. This I said, as well
out of Regard to Truth, as for the Honour of my Country. He appeared
pretty much surpriz'd at this Account of our Poets, and told me theirs
were of a different Character, and met with a different Fate; for they
were but little regarded by any great Birds, except the Vain and the
Silly, who wanted a little Flattery, for which they paid some small
Gratuity, while they wou'd not accept of them as Companions; for it was
not fashionable for those of Figure to converse with any thing inferior
to them in Wealth or Quality, which was reputed to have Sense: On the
contrary, when they receiv'd such for Companions, it was upon the
Account of their being either _Buffoons_ or _Pandars_; and this he was
pleased to say was the Fashion.
He also confess'd to me, that he himself never had any great Regard for
that Sort of Persons, which he own'd he sometimes had Reason to repent;
for he found that by their Verses and Discourses, they influenced the
Publick very much, by whom they were look'd upon with more Esteem, than
by the Courtiers; and that his Enemies had made a proper Advantage of
his Contempt of them; for they had taken the most ingenious amongst
them into their Party, and exasperated them against him; so that
their Compositions had kept up a Spirit against him, and he had the
Mortification of seeing the People always receive with Pleasure any
thing that exposed and satyriz'd his Conduct. That indeed in his own
Defence, he had imploy'd some others to chant his Praise; but they
were such wretched Poetasters, and did it so awkardly, that their
Performances prov'd more bitter Invectives than the Satyrs of
the others; for whenever there happen'd the least Flaw in his
Administration, he was sure to receive congratulatory Verses immediately
upon it; and that was the Time they chose to proclaim the Happiness the
Subject enjoy'd by his wise Management: And they carried this Matter to
such a ridiculous Height, that there was not a Vice or a Folly, that
either he or any of his Family were remarkable for, but they were
prais'd for the contrary Vertues and Accomplishments.
By this Time we arriv'd at the Gates of the Palace; for the Coach being
drawn by Six Ostriches, we were but a little Time upon the Way; and
mounting the great Stair-case, without being any way molested by the
People's Curiosity (for the Moment my Lord appear'd every Fowl of what
Quality soever, clapp'd his Beak to the Ground, and did not alter that
Posture till he was past) he bid me stay in the Anti-chamber till sent
for, and went himself into the Presence. He had not been there five
Minutes, before I heard that Door open, and a Jay with a strait-body'd
Coat, which button'd on his Breast, and thro' which his Wings and Legs
pass'd, came hopping into the Room where I was, surrounded by the
Courtiers, who view'd me with Surprize, but were so well bred as to
whisper their Sentiments of me. This impertinent Jay peck'd 'em by the
Legs, or pull'd 'em by the Crown-feathers, without Distinction: Nay, I
saw some _Cacklogallinians_ of the great Order, whose Heads he could not
reach, stoop to him, and beg he would do them the Honour to pull their
Crowns. Every one shew'd him Respect, and made way for him to come up
to me; he view'd me some time, and then peck'd me by the Finger; for he
did not reach higher than my Hand, when it hung down. I returned the
Compliment with a Wherret of my Fist, which knock'd him over, and had
cost me my Life, durst any have struck in the Palace. There was a
terrible Uproar, and I was apprehensive, that I should pay dear for my
Resentment; but the Emperor to whom my Lord was then giving an Account
of me, being inform'd, that the Impertinence of the Jay had caus'd the
Disturbance, he order'd him to be carried to the Guard, that he should
be lock'd up for three Days, and take two Purges and a Vomit (for
Criminals not guilty of Capital Crimes, are punish'd by a Number of
Vomits or Purges, which are more or less, according to the Vileness
of the Fact) I was called into the Presence-chamber, where I made my
Compliment as instructed, and then address'd my self to the Ladies,
giving the Precedence always to the bulkiest, according to my
Instructions. The first _Squabbaw_ whom I address'd my self to, was
about Seven Foot round; her Crop hung within Six Inches of the Floor,
which I have since learn'd is a particular Beauty; the Effluvia of her
Body were extreamly strong, and oblig'd his Imperial Majesty, when she
spread her Tail to me, to smell to an Aromatick Leaf.
This Prince, tho' of a very advanced Age, has been represented, both
by the Reports of his Ministers, and others, as a Person of great
Incontinency, in which I think he was injured; for tho' he pass'd
most of his private Hours only in the Company of the _Vultuaquilian
Squabbaws_ (so call'd from the Province where they were born) he did it,
partly because of his long Accquaintance with them, and partly to hinder
the too frequent Visits of the first Minister, who scarce ever came into
his Presence, but to importune him, for new Grants and Promotions for
Himself and Family; and as to the _Cacklogallinian Squabbaws_, he
sometimes admitted them to please their Husbands and Relations, who
flatter themselves with an imaginary Honour, to have their Wives and
Daughters near him. I have good Grounds for what I advance; for I was
Five Years in his Court, and frequently convers'd with his _Squabbaws_.
This won't I hope, be thought a piece of Vanity in me, when the Reader
reflects, that I was look'd upon as a Monkey is with our
Ladies.
The Emperor was highly delighted with the Present his Minister made him,
and order'd all possible Care to be taken of me. My Lord told him I
might be as useful to his Majesty as my Make was curious, for he found
me very intelligent, learning the Languages with great Facility, and
that it was possible I might be serviceable in extending his Dominions,
by bringing that Part of the World, which my Species inhabited, in
Subjection to his Imperial Majesty.
_Have they_, said the Emperor, _any Gold among them?_ I took the
Liberty of assuring his Majesty, that we were the richest Nation in the
Universe; that by our Trade, which never was so flourishing as at this
Time, we brought in immense Quantities of that valuable Metal, and that
we suffer'd none to be exported. _It may then_, replied his Majesty, _be
worth our while, one Day to think of this._
The Emperor order'd me to be conducted to an Apartment, and Leave was
given to all the _Vultuaquilian_ first, and _Cacklogallinian_ Quality,
to see me the next Day. I had every thing I could wish provided for me,
and a Month after I had been at Court, I had the Liberty of the Palace,
and the Emperor would often call me into his Closet (as he found I was
not ignorant in Arithmetick) to help him weigh and count his Wedges of
Gold, and set down the Number, Weight and Value of each Piece; for this
was a Diversion in which he amused himself.
This Prince was not very curious, for in the five Years I was in his
Court, he scarce ever asked me one Question concerning the _Europeans_;
nor was he in one Respect the Bubble of his Favourites, for I never saw
him give one Piece of Gold to any of them, even the _Squabbaws_.
The Grandees, who perceived me grow in Favour so far, as that the Jay
was turn'd out of Court for his Sawciness to me, which he redoubled
after his having been confined, strove who shou'd shew me the most
Respect, and make me the greatest Professions of friendship. They not
only offer'd me their Purses, but even their Wives and Daughters, whom
they often left with me and whose Immodesty has often put me to the
Blush. Nay, a _Boutofallalian_, a Title answering to our Duke, told me,
if I continued this Shyness, and would not do him the Honour to pass now
and then an Hour with his Lady, he shou'd not take me for his Friend;
and leaving her with me, he lock'd the Door.
Her Grace was as generous as her Spouse; and when I urg'd the Difference
of our Species, she said, she was satisfied that wou'd be no Impediment,
by what she had seen, for I had indeed no other Covering than a Mantle,
and both his Majesty and his _Squabbaws_ took a Pleasure to teaze me, by
pulling it off, and leaving me naked in a full Circle. In short, I was
forc'd to save my self by the Window being on a Ground Floor, after all
my Excuses were to no Purpose: But fearing the Lady's Resentment, I
begg'd the Minister, exaggerating her Husband's Merits, to give him a
Pension, and I my self carried and delivered the Grant to her Grace,
which made my Peace with both.
One Day, an old Colonel, who was very poor, accosted me in the Emperor's
Garden. _My Lord_, said he, _I beg you will vouchsafe me an Audience of
Quarter of an Hour; I shall look upon it as the greatest Condescension
in you, and as the greatest Honour done me._ I told him he mistook my
Title, and gave me one I never did aspire to; but that I was very ready
to hear and serve him, for I had seen him often at Court offering
Petitions, which were always rejected, and I had a Compassion for him.
"Your Goodness, _said he_, can alone be equalled by your Modesty;
give me Leave then to tell you, I have served long and faithfully
in the late Wars against the _Owls_ and _Magpyes_, but to my great
Surprize, at my Return home; my Regiment, without any Fault
alledg'd, was taken from me, and given to a _Valet de Chambre_ who
had never seen an Enemy; his Master was a _Boutofallalian_, had a
Mind to reward his Pimp, and all that I cou'd say, might as well
have been let alone. I had no Estate but what I sold, and gave to a
Courtier to get this Regiment, after I had served many Years as a
Captain, without the least Blemish in my Character. I have since
been in almost a starving Condition, and have wearied my self out
with Petitions to no Purpose; for if any, as very few, were
received, they were never answered, and perhaps never read. I have
therefore no Hopes but what are founded on your Charity: I see it
vain to hope for Employment, and shall change my Suit to that of
being put into the Hospital of the _Meritorians_ (_which in
_English_, signifies disabled and superannuated Soldiers_) I
beg your Compassion for a most unfortunate and perishing Man, who
has served his Prince and Country with Fidelity, and on several
Occasions has distinguish'd himself, as Your Honour will be
satisfied, if you will take the Pains to examine these Certificates."
He put several into my Hands; one mentioned his being the first who
broke Ranks, and put the right Wing of the Enemy in Disorder, which was
followed by a signal Victory over the _Magpyes_ and _Owls_: Then another
mentioned his taking the Royal Banner, in the Battle of _Bellfugaro_: A
third certify'd his surprizing a great Convoy of Provisions, carrying to
the Enemy's Camp, the Loss of which, made them break up the Siege of
_Barbaquero_. In short, he had about Twenty, signed by the General and
chief Officers, which spoke him a Fool of singular Gallantry. When I had
return'd them, I ask'd, in what he thought I could serve him?
"I beg, _said he_, you wou'd recommend me to the Minister to be
provided for as a superannuated Officer; your Honour cannot do an
Act of greater Charity."
"Sir, _said I_, is it possible you can be so great a Stranger to
the Court, as to imagine Merit carries any Weight with it. Your
Certificates prove you have done your Duty like a gallant Officer;
but then you have done no more than what was expected from you, and
what you were paid for."
"I acknowledge what your Honour says, _replied the Colonel_, but I
can name many, who have run away, or been taken violently ill at the
time of a Battle, and who are not only continued in Post, but even
advanced."
I answer'd, it was very true; but that such Fowls were otherwise
serviceable in the Government, had handsome Wives or Daughters, or could
procure such of their Acquaintance, or perhaps were elected into the
Grand Council of the Nation, and had a Vote to dispose of.
But, Sir, I will deal with you ingenuously, I can do you no Service
at all in this Affair; for the Minister has so many _Bable-Cypherians
(in _English_, Members of the Great Council)_ to oblige, and they
have so many _Valet de Chambres_, Butlers, and Footmen to provide
for in the Hospital, that it's more likely the Officers and Soldiers
now there will be turn'd out to make Place for them, than any other
will be admitted. If you have Interest to get a Number of these
_Bable-Cypherians_ to back your Petition, which you may get, if you
can bribe and cajole the Attendants of their _Squabbaws_, or their
own Valets, it's possible you may succeed in your Pretensions.
"I'll sooner, _said he_, starve, than be guilty of so great a
Condescension, or more properly, so mean an Action." This he said with
some Warmth, and I replied as coolly, it was in his own Option. "I find
then, _said the Colonel_, you won't serve me."
I have, _said I_, given you Reasons which prove this Way I cannot:
But if giving your Petition and Certificates to the Emperor will be
of use, I'll venture to do it for you.
"The Emperor, _replied he_, is a good Prince, but has little Interest
with the Minister; and to hope any thing, but thro' his Canal, is
altogether vain." Saying this, he took his Leave in a very courteous
manner. The Minister was inform'd, that I had entertain'd a long
Discourse with this Officer, and ask'd me the Subject of it. I told him
what he desired, but that I declined troubling his Excellency with such
Trifles.
"These Fowls, _said he_, who build on their own Merit, are extremely
impertinent. The Colonel now in Question is one of your Fowls who
might by his Principles have made a Fortune, had he lived Two or
Three Hundred Years ago; but they are now obsolete, and he starves
by tenaciously practising his musty Morals. Why, he'll have the
Impudence to be always speaking Truth; and tho' he has been thrust
out of the Palace for this Vice more than once, he is not to be
corrected. He will tell a Fowl of Quality without Ceremony, that
he's a Pimp, and was raised by the Hens of his Family: He'll make no
Bones of telling another, if his Prudence made him decline Danger,
that he's a Coward: A Third he'll impudently remind of his former
Livery, tho' his good Fortune has raised him to the Title of a
Grandee. Nay, he had the Face to tell me, upon my refusing to take
his Petition, That it was great Pity, when I was imprisoned for
Peculation, that the Justice of the Nation did not first purge, and
then hang me; that I was a publick Robber, and deserv'd the Gallows
more richly than a common Thief. His Poverty and Folly made me pity
and pardon him, if leaving him to be laugh'd at and starv'd, are to
be esteemed no Punishment. As I really pity'd the Fowl, I found
where he lodged, and supplied him with sufficient to keep him above
Want, tho' I would never trust him with the Knowledge of his
Benefactor, nor would ever after be seen to give him the least
Countenance."
The Character of the _Cacklogallinians_ in general.
The _Cacklogallinians_ were, in former Ages, a Wise and a Warlike
Nation, both fear'd and esteem'd by their Neighbours. Their Blood was
pure, without being mix'd with that of the _Owls_, _Magpies_, _Eagles_,
_Vulturs_, _Jays_, _Partridges_, _Herns_, _Hawks_, or any other Species;
the Scum of which Nation, by the Fertility of the Country, and the
want of Foresight in the _Cacklogallinians_, has been allured to, and
permitted to settle in _Cacklogallinia_, and by their Intermarriages has
caused the great Degeneracy those Families, which have kept their Blood
untainted, complain of.
The History of their Neighbours are standing Witnesses of the Worth of
their Ancestors, and shew the vast Difference between the ancient and
modern _Cacklogallinians_. The former, tho' tenacious of their Liberty,
were remarkable for their Loyalty; and each thought it his peculiar
Interest zealously to promote that of the Publick. But not to be prolix
in the Character of the old _Cacklogallinians_, I shall give it in few
Words. They were what the _English_ now are, Wise, Modest, Brave, Human,
Loyal, Publick-spirited, capable of governing their own, and conquering
other Kingdoms; Hospitable to Strangers: They encourag'd Merit, and
abominated Flattery. A Pimp in those Days wou'd have starv'd, and even
the Concubine of a Prince not been admitted among Hens of Virtue, tho'
to make the Fortune of a Husband. There was no Upstarts among the
Nobility, and if any were rais'd to Titles, it was by Force of a
conspicuous Merit, which gave a Lustre to the August Assembly in which
he was enroll'd. Justice was impartially administer'd, and the selling
of the People to a Prince or Minister, was a Villainy unknown. None
bribed the People to chuse 'em for their Representatives; Posts in the
Government were given to Fowls capable to serve it, without being
burthened with this or that Family, nor were their Revenues loaded with
Pensions to worthless and vicious Persons, and given for Services which
would be a Disgrace to publish. Trade flourish'd, Money was plenty, none
of their Neighbours durst encroach on their Commerce; their Taxes were
inconsiderable: In a Word, as I before said, they were what our happy
Nation now is, admired for the Prudence of their Administration at home,
and the Terror of their Arms abroad. They are now directly the Reverse
of what they were, and even in my Time, they were sinking in the Opinion
of their Neighbours, who began to consider them as a declining Nation,
which Alteration, I must own (for I love to speak the Truth) was not a
little owing to the Administration of my Friend, the first Minister, who
in taking upon him to manage the Interests of Nations, went out of his
Depth, for Affairs of that Nature seemed to be above his Capacity. His
Education, his Study, his Practice, were rather mercantile, than
otherwise, and all that Knowledge which his Partizans boast so much in
him, was confined to the Business of the Taxes, a Road in which he was
(as it were) grown old, and to Money-Projects, which was owing to a
strict Correspondence he always kept with certain projecting and
mercantile People, and being used to carry all Points at home by Gold,
he knew no other way of doing Business abroad; so that when their
Neighbours used to differ among themselves, about some Points of
Interest, and one Side or other stood in Need of the Assistance of the
_Cacklogallinians_, they sometimes push'd themselves into the Quarrel,
and perhaps paid great Sums of Money for the Favour of sending Armies to
the Succour of one Side or other, so that they became the Tools which
other Nations work'd with. They are naturally prone to Rebellion, have
let the _Cormorants_ chouse them out of several valuable Branches of
their Commerce; and yet the _Cormorants_ are People with whom they have
kept the most lasting Friendship of all their Neighbours. They love War,
and rather than not fight, they will give Money to be let into the
Quarrel (as has been hinted before) they know beforehand, however
victorious they may prove, nothing but Blows will fall to their Share.
If they are under a mild Government, and grow rich, they are always
finding Fault with their Superiors, and ever ready to revolt: But if
they are oppress'd and kept poor, like our Spaniels, they fawn on their
Masters, and seem in Love with Tyranny; which should any dare to speak
against, he is esteem'd an Enemy to the Happiness of his Country. They
are very proud, yet very mean in some Particulars, and will, for their
Interest, sacrifice the Honour of their Families. They look upon nothing
infamous but Poverty, for which Reason, the most scandalous Methods of
procuring Riches, such as Lying, Robbing the Publick, Cheating Orphans,
Pimping, Perjury, _& c._ are not look'd upon with evil Eyes, provided
they prove successful. This Maxim holds with 'em, both in publick and
private Affairs. I knew One rais'd from a Fowl of Three Foot Six Inches,
to be a _Makeseulsibi_, a Post which rais'd him to Eight Foot Six, and
is one of the greatest in the Kingdom. He is to instruct the Grandees,
when in Council, in Points of Law, and is Guardian to all Orphans.
Complaint was made to the Emperor, that he converted their Estates to
his own Use, and left them all to starve; he was therefore, by the
Emperor's Consent, and to satisfy the People, brought to a Tryal. He
answer'd, That he did not deny the Charge; but that he wanted the Money
to make a Figure equal to his Post: However, the Enquiry discover'd
his vast Acqusitions, and prov'd him to be so rich, that he was look'd
upon with Respect, and he lived and died in as much Grandeur, and
Tranquillity, as if he had been a Patriot, and at his Funeral, his great
Service to his Country was blazon'd out in Figures and Hieroglyphicks by
the Heralds; which being a thing I seem'd amaz'd at, and enquiring of
many, how it came to pass, that a Fowl should be treated with Honour,
who had been esteem'd an Oppressor? the common Answer was, he died rich,
and that was enough for all Honours.
The Religion of the _Cacklogallinians_.
This Nation pretends to believe a first Being, and to worship one God,
tho' I confess, when I was first amongst them, I thought otherwise; for
I Found the People of the best Rank amongst them always ridiculing
Religion. They had formerly a Globe of pure Gold in their Temples, an
Emblem of Eternity: It was inscribed with unintelligible Characters, by
which they figured the Inscrurability of his Decrees. This some call'd
superstitious, and were for having razed, and the Ball, which was, in
their Opinion, too big, new melted, and cast into a different Form. Some
were for a Square, to give an Emblem, of Justice; others would have it,
an Octogon, by which they would shadow his Ubiquity. Another Party
insisted upon its being cast again, but in no regular Form; for all
Forms and Regularity they look'd upon superstitious. Their Disputes on
this Subject ran so high, that they came to Blows, and each Party, as it
was victorious, modelled the Globe to his own Humour or Caprice. But the
Ball being so often melted, and Part of the Gold being lost in each
Fusion, it was at last almost imperceivable. These Bickerings shed a
great deal of Blood, and being at length tired with worrying each other
upon this Account, a new Globe was cast, but not exactly round, to
satisfy tender Consciences. In process of Time, it was thought that a
brazen Globe might do as well as one of Gold, and new Disputes beginning
to arise, it was decreed, that this Globe should stand in the Temple,
but that every one in particular should have at home an Idol after his
own Fashion provided they wou'd only bow to this, and the Revenues were
continued to the Priests to furnish Sacrifices. The Heads of the Priests
at last thinking these Sacrifices altogether needless, and a very great
Expence, dropp'd 'em by Degrees: However, some say this was done by some
of the Grandees, as a Means to make the Priests less respected, and put
the Money in their own Coffers, which has made them both rich and
insolent. They were formerly a cunning Set, but they are not look'd upon
as such now, for they take but little Care, either to cultivate the
Interest, or support the Credit and Dignity of their Order; and as some
of them are given to Luxury, which they have not taken due Care to
conceal, the common Sort do not entertain the same Respect for them they
did in former Times.
However, the poor Clergy (for they are not all rich, Affairs of Religion
being modell'd after those of the State, the Great devouring the Small)
lead moral Lives, and there is a Sect amongst them which keeps up the
golden Ball, continues the Sacrifices, and detests Perjury; but these
are obliged to perform their Ceremonies by Stealth, and are prosecuted
as an obstinate ill-designing People.
The Grandees have no Statues in their Houses; they own indeed a Deity,
some of them at least, but don't think the worshipping that Deity of any
Consequence. The meaner People began to be as polite as the Courtiers,
and to have as little Religion, before I left _Cacklogallinia_. This
Irreligion I can attribute to nothing so much as the Contempt of the
Clergy, whom some of the Nobility, especially of the Court, have
endeavour'd to render hateful and ridiculous to the People, by
representing them as a lazy, useless, Order of Birds, no better than
the Drones. They also chufe out now and then, some to place at their
Head, who had distinguish'd themselves for their Infidelity, and had
declared themselves Enemies to the Religion of the Country, by which
means the whole Order lost their Sway with the People; besides which,
the richer Sort amongst them were generally reputed to be much addicted
to Gluttony.
Of the Policy and Government of the _Cacklogallinians_.
The _Cacklogallinians_ boast mightily of their being the only Nation in
the World which enjoys Liberty, and therefore, upon all Occasions, they
talk of, and treat the rest of the World as Slaves. They pretend to
maintain, that their Monarchy being elective, their Emperors are no more
than their Servants, and that they can exercise no longer a Power, than
they are pleas'd to give it them, which is just as much as will serve to
put the Laws in Execution, and keep the great Machine of Government in
good Order; and that whenever he attempts to transgress those Bounds,
they make no Ceremony of turning him out, and setting up another in his
Room. But, by what I could judge by my own proper Observation, this
appeared to me, to be no more than an empty Boast (for indeed the
_Cacklogallinians_ are apt to run into an Extravagance of Vanity,
whenever they speak of themselves) for in my Time my Friend and Patron
the first Minister acted as absolutely, and dependently of all Creatures
(except of the _Squabbaws_) as the most arbitrary Prince, who
acknowledges no Law but his own Will and Pleasure.
It is, true there is a Council consisting of a great Number of Persons,
in whose Name all great Affairs relating to the Civil Government are
transacted, the Members of which Council are call'd _Bable-Cypherians_;
but it is no Secret, that the first Minister causes whom he pleases to
sit in this Council, as well as turns out any Person he dislikes; and
while I was amongst them, there happen'd some Instances of what I
maintain; and he contrived to have several whom he suspected of being
Enemies to his Family, or to his Administration, to be disgraced from
the said Council, and others appointed in their Places: Nay, I have
often seen several worthless Birds paying their Court to the first
Minister, and solliciting him to be admitted into the Great Council,
in the same manner that they begg'd for an Employment; yet at the same
time, if you were to talk to a _Cacklogallinian_, he wou'd pretend to
persuade you, that no Fowl of any Rank or Quality whatsoever can ever
sit in the said Council, but by the Majority of free Voices of Persons
who are his Equals. But as I oserv'd before, they are so possess'd with
a Spirit of boasting, that when they talk of themselves, there is no
Regard to be had to any thing they say.
What is most remarkable is, that Hens as well as Cocks frequently stand
Candidates to be Members of the said Council, and especially those who
are distinguish'd by the Name of _Squabbaws_; and tho' the important
Affairs of managing their Amours takes up so much of their Time, that
they have but little Leisure to attend such publick Affairs, yet they
very much influence what passes there, especially the Court _Squabbaws_,
whom I have frequently seen to receive Presents from Persons who had
Matters to lay before the said Council. When this happened, it was their
Custom to send for my Friend the first Minister, and instruct him how
they would have the thing done; upon which Occasions they designedly
absented themselves from the said Council, that by their not appearing
to favour or oppose such things, the Bribery might not be suspected; and
it generally pass'd as well without them, for my good Patron who carried
it so loftily to the rest of the World, was nevertheless extreamly their
Slave.
As to their Laws, which they pretend to be the best and wisest of any
in the World, they are, in Effect, a Source of continual Plague and
Vexation to the Subject, which is owing to many Causes, but principally
to this, that when a new Law is agreed to pass, the great Council
generally appoint such amongst them as are Lawyers by Profession, to
word it, or (as we say) to draw it up, who always, in Order to promote
the Business of their own Profession, contrive it in ambiguous Terms; so
that there is a double Meaning runs thro' every Sentence. This furnishes
eternal Matter of Dispute betwixt Party and Party, and at the same time
gives the _Caja_ (for so they call a Judge) a Power of putting what
Construction he pleases upon the Law. I have my self been frequently
present, when the _Caja_ has been sitting to hear and determine Causes,
and have observ'd, that when the _Cacklogallinian_ Advocates have been
setting forth the Merit of their Cause, and one of them has produced a
Precedent, to shew, that such a _Caja_ in former Times, put such a
Construction upon such a Law, yet the _Caja_ then presiding has
determined the thing quite otherwise, giving for a Reason, _That
might be his Opinion, but this is ours._
Upon the whole, the Property of private Birds, which they would make you
believe was much safer amongst them, than under any other Government in
the World, appeared to me to stand upon a very precarious Foot, since it
was always at the Mercy of the Law, and the most cunning and sagacious
amongst them could never pretend to be sure what Law was: Nay, it was
often found by Experience, that what was Law one Day amongst them, was
not so another; so that I could not help thinking, that whenever Party
and Party differr'd concerning Matters of Property, the least expensive,
and most prudent Method would have been, to have referr'd the Decision
of the Cause to some Game of Hazard.
This Ambiguity of the Law makes a corrupt _Caja_ a terrible Plague to
the Subject; and it is a Plague which they have often felt, as I found,
by consulting their Annals; for frequently, under bad Ministers, Birds
have been chosen out for _Caja_'s, not for their Integrity or Knowledge,
but for their Obsequiousness to the Commands of those who chose them;
and my Patron, the first Minister, was censured for endeavouring to
corrupt, and making them as bad as he could. By which Means, and by
retaining Spies in the Houses of all Fowl of great Interest and Figure
in their Country, it was reported he awed them from attempting any
Measures against his Interest, or that of his Family, and that he had
threaten'd several with Confiscation and Banishment, when he found them
attempting to introduce better Schemes than his own, because such
Proceedings might tend to overthrow him.
But this I speak from common Report; for I cannot give any Instances of
Corruption in any of the _Caja_'s from my own personal Knowledge; for I
conceived so dreadful a Notion of their Laws, that I endeavoured to
avoid all Converse with any who belong'd to it.
How often have I reflected on the Happiness of my dear Country, in that
Liberty there enjoy'd, where none are oppress'd by Force, or allured by
Bribes, to give up their native Freedom; where a self-interested and
designing Minister is sure to answer for his Administration to a
Parliament freely chosen, consisting of Gentlemen of publick Spirits,
Honour, known Probity and Wisdom; whose Fortunes put them above a
servile Dependence; who have an Eye to nothing but the publick Good, and
exact from the Ministers a just Account of the _Publick Treasure_! When
I have seen the Fowl of Honour thrust out to make Place for a Sycophant,
Court paid to Pandars and lewd Hens, and no Posts disposed of, but thro'
the Interest of Lust; how often, _Britain_, have I congratulated thy
Happiness, where Virtue is rewarded, Vice discountenanc'd and punish'd;
where the Man of Merit is provided for, and not oblig'd to pay a
Levee to the kept Mistress of a Statesman; and where the Ignorant,
Pusillanimous, and Vicious, however distinguish'd by Birth and Fortune,
are held in Contempt, and never admitted to publick Employment!
When among the _Cacklogallinians_ Taxes are laid, the Money is brought
into the publick Treasury, of which the Minister keeps the Keys: He lets
this Money out upon Pawns, at an exorbitant Interest. If an inferior
Agent is to pass his Accounts, he must share the Pillage with the
Minister, and some few Heads of the Grand Council. I knew one paid him
Three Hundred Thousand _Rackfantassines_, equal to a Hundred Thousand
Pounds Sterling, which he computed was about one Third of his
Acquisition; and Birds of most abandon'd Reputations are sometimes put
into Places of Profit, which, like Spunges, suck all they can, and are
easily squeezed again.
As to their Trade, they have, of late Years, lost some of the most
advantageous Parts of it to the _Cormorants_, which perhaps might be
brought about by several that were _Cormorants_ by Birth, who found
Means of working themselves into the Management of their publick
Affairs. They seem to endeavour all they can, (for what Policy I know
not) to encourage the young _Cacklogallinian_ Nobility and Gentry, in
a Contempt of Religion, and in all Debauchery, perhaps to render them
supine and thoughtless; and bringing them up without Principle, they may
be fit Tools to work the enslaving their Country.
They are extremely severe in their military Discipline: A Soldier, for a
trifling Fault, shall have all the Feathers stripp'd off his Back, and a
corroding Plaister clapp'd on, which will eat to the Bones in a small
Space of Time. For a capital Crime, every one in the Regiment is ordered
to peck him as he's ty'd to a Post, till he dies. I have seen one who
was condemn'd to this Death have Part of his Entrails torn out of his
Side in a few Pecks.
Whoever speaks against the Ministry, is purged or vomited so severely,
that he sometimes dies. Even Want of Complaisance to any menial Servant
of a Minister, is esteem'd an Affront to his Master, and punish'd by a
Year's Imprisonment; but a Slight put on any of the _Squabbaws_, is so
heinous, that the Offender is punish'd, as for the highest Scandal.
Sometimes it has happened, that Persons Question'd and Convicted for
Fraud, Bribery, or other Crimes, by some Turn of Fortune having better'd
their Circumstances, have afterwards been raised to Posts of Honour and
Trust, and afterwards growing more wealthy, have been look'd upon with
the same Esteem as the most worthy. I've known a Sharper, who could
neither write nor read, made a _Battano_, in _English_, a Judge
Advocate; and what rais'd him was his Dexterity at _Gestaro_, which
is like the Play our School-boys divert themselves with, call'd
_Hussle-cap_.
Tho' they have a Standing Army, yet the _Cacklogallinians_ are all
inlisted, and obliged to serve (in case of an Invasion) without Pay.
They have no fortify'd Places, they being look'd upon as a Refuge for
Malecontents, except only the imperial Palace. The Reader may wonder how
any Place can be fortified against those who can fly over the highest
Walls; I must therefore inform him, that their strong Holds have all the
open Places cover'd with Canvass stretch'd from Side to Side; upon which
is strew'd an Herb so venemous, that, in six Hours after it has been
expos'd to the Sun, it emits so pestiferous a Stench, that no Fowl can
approach it by many Yards, but what will fall dead; and this Stench, by
the Effluvia mounting, is no way offensive to those below. This is the
Reason their Sieges are rather Blockades, and no fortify'd Town was ever
taken but by starving. For tho' I have said, the _Cacklogallinians_ have
no such, yet their Neighbours have this Canvass, and Plenty of the Herb
in and about most of their Towns, and can, in Twenty four Hours, put
them in a Posture of Defence.
Upon the Decease of any Party, his Estate goes to the eldest of his
Children, whether Male or Female; for the others, the Cocks are put into
the Army, or to Trades; the Hens are married to the next Relations, who
are obliged to take them, or allow them a Pension for Life, according to
their Quality. Polygamy is forbid, tho' universally practised among the
better Sort. There were publick Colleges erected for the Education and
Provision of poor Chickens; but as there is a strong Party, which takes
them to be of ill Consequence; they are discountenanc'd so much, that it
is thought they must fall some time or other.
The Customs, Manners, Dress, and Diversions of the _Cacklogallinians_.
The _Cacklogallinians_ value themselves on being a polite Nation; and
indeed those amongst them who have travell'd, are very complaisant, full
of their Professions of Friendship, and Offers of Service, tho' it's the
first time they ever set Eyes on the Party to whom they make them; but
if he takes this for any more than the Effects of good Breeding, and
reminds a Courtier of his Promise, he is look'd upon as one who wants
Education, and treated as a Peasant.
They are not at all sociable, tho' they frequently visit each other,
which is with much Ceremony amongst the better Sort; for he who makes
the Visit, sends before him a Servant to give Notice, that he intends to
do himself the Honour to kiss the Spur of the Master of the House. If he
is, or will be at home, Answer is made, that he returns Thanks for the
Honour intended him, which he will expect with Impatience. When the
Visiter arrives, Notice is given to the Family by one of his Servants,
who strikes a brass Pan (hung at the Doors of all Persons of
Distinction) so long, and with such Violence, that were it in _England_,
he'd be indicted for a common Disturber. After this Peal, the Door is
opened, and the Visiter received according to his Quality, either at the
Street Door, Parlour Door, or in the Hall. He's led in, and seated on a
Carpet, enquires after the Welfare of the Family, after which he takes
Notice of the Weather, and then with great Ceremony takes his Leave,
conducted as he was received.
None visit the Minister of State, neither is there any thing like the
_English_ Hospitality seen in the Visits of private Persons; for they
never present you any Refreshment, not even that of cold Water, except
at a formal Invitation, or a Wedding. At the latter they are very
profuse. When a young Couple is married, for a Week they are never seen
asunder; but after that, it is look'd upon indecent to be seen with a
Wife in any publick Company; and one would think they married to be
reveng'd on each other for some former Injuries; for the Wife takes Care
to shew her Contempt of her Husband, and he his Aversion to his Wife.
They are great Admirers of Puppet-shews and other Spectacles, and will
let their Families at Home want Necessaries, rather than not be seen at
the Booth. What they most delight in is bloody Spectacles. There are
poor _Cacklogallinians_, who fight on Stages for Money; if they cut one
another to Pieces, the Spectators go away highly satisfied; but if their
Art prevents their shedding much Blood, the Combatants are poorly
rewarded, and look'd upon as a Couple of Cheats or Cowards.
A Goat had (as Tradition says) done formerly great Damage to the Corn of
_Danafalio_, a Saint in great Veneration amongst them, who lived about
Twelve Hundred Years ago; for which Reason, every Family, on a certain
Day, diverts it self by breaking the Legs and Ribs of a Goat, and
flaying it alive.
Their Burial of the Dead is so expensive, that it often ruines the Heir.
When the Corpse is carried out of the House, a Herald goes before, who
proclaims the Titles of the Deceas'd: If he has none, he has Three Days
Notice to make a Genealogy for him. I saw the Burial of a _quondam_
Taylor, who was nearly ally'd to a first Minister, and heard the
Herald's Oration, which was as near as I remember, in these Words.
See, Fellow-Citizens, the Vanity of all sublunary Things! and lament
your own hard Fate in the Loss of the Illustrious _Evanosmador_. If
Virtue, if Art, if Nobility of Blood, could any way have influenc'd
the Tyrant Death, who could boast a greater Soul! Who exceed him in
the Mysteries of his Art! Or lastly, Whose Veins were fill'd with a
more noble Blood!
Here he repeated his Genealogy, which spoke him descended from a Number
of Sovereign Princes, Grandees, _Caja_'s, &c.
When the Corpse arrives at the great Market-place, where all the Dead
are burnt, a Priest makes a Funeral Oration; which done, a great Number
of Mourners, hired for that purpose, begin their Lamentations, which
last till the Body is entirely consum'd. The Fire is made with Billets,
on which the Arms of the Deceased are either carv'd or painted, which
cannot cost less than an _English_ Crown each. Every one of the Company
is presented with two of these Billets; one he lays on the Pile, the
other he carries home, and hangs up in his House. After the Consumption
of the Corpse, the Picture of the Deceas'd is hung over the Door for the
Space of Twelve Moons. Their Ceremonies in marshalling the Company are
tedious, and therefore I shall not mention them; I shall only take
Notice, that the Dead are drawn by Six, or Eight Ostriches, cover'd
with Cloath of Gold, upon an open Chariot.
When any begins to sicken, a Physician is sent for, who, after having
examin'd the Patient, sends for a _Venenugallpotior_, something like
our Apothecary, and gives him his Direction, takes his Fee, which is
extravagant enough, and goes into his _Palanquin_; for a Physician, let
him be a Second _Hermes_, or _Galen_, will never get Bread, if he does
not make a Figure. He's sure to repeat his Visits, Morning and Even,
if the Patient as often repeats his Fees; but whenever he finds any
Symptoms of a weak Purse, he sets a Mark on that House, and no
Intreaties will prevail with him to go under that Roof.
When the Relations of the Sick perceive him past Hopes of Recovery, they
fall to plundering his House, neglect him entirely, and very often fall
together by the Ears, begin with Blows, and end with a Law-suit, which
seldom fails ruining both Plaintiff and Defendant; for their Lawyers
rarely bring a Suit to Issue, till their Clients are brought to Beggary;
and tho' they all know this to be the Consequence of their Litigation,
yet is there no Nation so fond of going to Law.
When any one falls into Poverty, he's look'd upon as infected; for all
his Acquaintance shun him; nay, very often his own Children will not own
him, if in happier Circumstances: And what will seem wonderful to a
_Briton_, who esteems Merit in Rags, and contemns the Vicious, tho'
encompass'd with a Crowd of Servants, and distinguish'd by the glaring
Titles of his Family; no sooner does a _Cacklogollinian_ grow rich, but
all the World courts him, tho' sprung from a Dunghill: And even those
who can never hope any thing from him, shew him a profound Respect. Ask
who such a one is, and they never tell you, that he is such a Fowl of
Honour, or of such good Qualities, but answer, he is worth so much:
Nay, Riches give a Man such Superiority, that a Merchant, the Son of a
Butcher, presum'd so much upon the immense Sums he possess'd, that he
had the Boldness to tell the Emperor to his Face, if he did not prohibit
the Importation of Corn (which was then very much wanted) he having a
great Quantity by him, would draw his Money out of the publick Treasury,
and then his Majesty might see who was able to supply him. The Emperor
was advised to lay him by the Heels for his Sawciness, but the good
Prince forgave him.
Their Dress is a close Doublet, and a a loose Mantle, which is either
rich or plain, fine or coarse, not according to the Quality, but
according to the Ability of the Wearer; for very often you can't
distinguish, in respect of Dress, the Grandee from the Merchant, or the
_Squabbaw_ from her Attendant; for the meaner Sort lay all on their
Backs. Their Necks are adorned with Ribbons, Bells, Medals, _&c._
and their Tail-feathers are beautify'd with additional ones from the
Peacock, or Figures painted with various Colours, which must be by the
Emperor's Permission, as has been before observ'd.
Their Exercises are pretty violent, and they are great Lovers of a Play
for which I can find no Name in _English_. They begin with giving their
next Neighbour a great Bang with the Wing, which is return'd by a Kick
or Peck, or Stroke with the Spur; you would imagine they were so many
engaged in a Battle, for they strike without Fear or Wit, and never mind
on whom the Strokes light; for every one deals them about promiscuously,
and as thick as he can lay them on. They will continue this Diversion,
till they are not able to stand, or till some of the Company gets a
Wing, a Leg, or a Head broke, or some other Damage, which the Party hurt
never takes ill. This Play is indeed practised only among the younger,
or the meaner Sort.
They are mighty fond of the _Cuckoo_, and will sit two Hours upon a
Stretch to hear a Set of them exercise their natural Talent, for which
they are paid and caress'd. I knew a Lady of Quality who gave a Pension
of Five Thousand _Spasma_'s, each _Spasma_ worth Two Shillings Sterling,
to one of these Birds to sing her to Sleep every Night. The Air of this
Country is too cold for these _Cuckoo_'s, who come from a more southern
Clime, which is the Reason they stay not above three Years before they
wing their Flight home, where they build Palaces with the Profits of
their Journey: But as those who return send others in their stead, the
_Cacklogallinians_ are never long deprived of the Entertainment these
Birds afford 'em.
Another Diversion they have, is the making the Ostriches run Races: The
Feeding, Training, and Betting upon these Birds, have ruined many of the
noblest Families. They are also mightily addicted to Dice, and will set
and lose their Wives and Children, which they sometimes see eaten by the
Winner, if he is of Quality.
This small Sketch of the _Cacklogallinians_ I thought necessary, that
the Reader might have some Idea of them. I happen'd to be cast on their
Coast, just after they had made a Peace with the _Magpyes_, a puissant
and neighbouring Nation, after a long, sanguine, and expensive War,
which had well nigh exhausted the Forces and Treasure of both Parties,
occasioned by the _Cacklogallinians_ pretending they had a Right to
nominate a Successor to the Emperor _Chuctinio_, who was in an advanced
Age, and without issue; and the _Magpyes_ pretended their King, as a
Relation to that Emperor, had a Right to succeed to the Throne of the
_Bubohibonians_, which is the Nation of _Owls_.
All the neighbouring States join'd the _Cacklogallinians_, in
endeavouring to prevent this vast Increase of Power to the _Magpyes_,
since it must necessarily destroy the Balance of Power; and as their
prince was both powerful and ambitious, they apprehended he would
aim at an universal Monarchy: But then they would not allow the
_Cacklogallinians_ had any more Right than their Neighbours, to name
a Successor; and if that Monarchy were to fall to the Share of any
powerful Prince, it might be as dangerous to the common Good, as if
yielded to the _Magpyes_; they therefore would have it divided.
The Peacock, who pretends to be the High-Priest of all Nations, and
exacts on that Account Tributes from them, and calls himself the
Disposer of Kingdoms, had his Tributes stopp'd by the _Magpyes_, about
the same time; and complaining of this Injury, he invited _Bigoteasy_ to
declare War against _Gripeallyominte_, King of the _Magpyes_, which, on
account of former Friendship, he absolutely refused. This so enraged the
good High Priest, that he raised a Rebellion against him; he was
dethron'd, taken Prisoner by his Subjects, and died in Confinement,
and his Kingdom given by the Peacock, and the unanimous Consent of the
People, to the greatest Prince that History ever mention'd, either for
Wisdom or Bravery.
These Wars lasted Sixty and Seven Years, and the _Cacklogallinians_ bore
the greatest Share of the Expence; which had so far indebted them, that
every Brain was at Work to project Methods for raising Money to pay the
Interest.
These Schemes, which were every Day presented to the Minister, grew so
numerous, that, had he applied himself to nothing else but their
Examination, it would have taken up a great Part of his Time: And,
indeed, I must own, that my Friend, the first Minister, gave himself but
very little Trouble in things of this Nature, for all his Schemes, and
all his Thoughts center'd in himself; and when I have gone to carry him
Intelligence in a Morning, and all the great Fowl that came to pay their
Levee, have been answer'd, that he was busy in his Closet upon Affairs
of Importance to the State, and saw no Company, I have found him (for
there were Orders for admitting me) either writing Directions concerning
his Ostriches, or his Country Sports, or his Buildings, or examining his
private Accounts; and tho' I often thought but meanly of my own Species,
yet I began to think, from the Conduct of this great Minister, that a
Cock was a far more selfish, and more worthless Animal than Man;
insomuch, that I have so despised them ever since, as to think them good
for nothing but the Spit.
The Schemes which he put in Practice were all the Invention of others,
tho' he assum'd the Credit of them; and I will be bold to say, that,
before my Time, amongst Numbers that were offer'd to him, he generally
chose the worst.
I was therefore order'd, after I had been two Years at Court, to take
this Business upon me, with the Title of _Castleairiano_, or Project
Examiner, and a Salary of Thirty Thousand _Spasma_'s. The first Project
offer'd me, was the laying a Tax on Cloath, and all manner of Stuffs.
This I rejected, because it being the chief Manufacture of the Country,
it would, by raising the Price abroad, be a Hindrance to the Commerce of
the Nation, and give the _Cormorants_ who made it, tho' nothing so fine
as the _Cacklogallinians_, an Opportunity, by under-selling them, to
become the chief Merchants in this Branch of Trade. But it would be
tedious to mention the many Offers, with my Reasons for accepting or
rejecting them, which I once a Week gave a List of to the Minister, who
was often so good as to approve my Judgment.
There were Projects for taxing Soot, Corn, Ribbons, for coining all the
Plate of the Nobility, for prohibiting the wearing of Gold or Silver.
Some were for the Government's taking all the Torchtrees (which gave a
Light, and are used like our Candles) and dispose of them, by which
great Sums might be raised. Some were for laying a Tax on all who kept
Coaches; others upon all who wore Silver or Gold Spurs: But these
touching only the Rich, the Minister would not listen to. The Tax which
he approved of most, was on the Light of the Sun, according to the Hours
it was enjoy'd; so that the poor Peasant, who rose with it, paid for
Twelve Hours Day-light, and the Nobility and Gentry, who kept their Beds
till Noon, paid only for Six.
Another Tax was laid upon those who drank only Spring Water. This fell
altogether on the Poor, for the better Sort drank the Juice of a certain
Tree imported from the _Bubohibonians_.
Whoever had not an Estate in Land of an Hundred _Spasma_'s was also
tax'd Ten _Spasma_'s a Year, to be paid out of their Day Labour. He
who deliver'd a Project of fetching Gold from the Moon, was caress'd
prodigiously, and his way of reasoning approved; tho' I gave it in with
a [+] as rejected by me, yet he was rewarded, and Preparation order'd
for the Journey, in which I was commanded to accompany him: For, he
insinuated to the Minister, that it was possible the Inhabitants might
be of my Species; nay, that I myself might have dropp'd out of that
World, which was more reasonable than to believe the Story I told, of
having pass'd so great a Sea; and that I very likely had form'd this
Story out of a Tenderness to my Country lest his Imperial Majesty should
attempt its Conquest.
He had so possess'd the Minister with this Notion, that my arguing
against it was to no purpose. He told me one Day, That all the
Philosophers allow'd, nay, maintain'd, that both Animals, Vegetables,
and Minerals, were generated, grew, and were nourished, by the Spirit of
the World: A Quintessence partaking of all the Four Elements, tho' it
was no One, might be called Air, and was not; Fire, and was not Fire,
_&c._ That this Spirit was assisted by the Influence of the Planets,
and tended to the highest Perfection of Purity. That all Metals were
generated by the said Spirit, and differ'd from one another, but
according to the Purity or Impurity of the _Matrices_ which receiv'd it.
That as the Planets Influence was necessary, that of the Moon must,
as the nearest to the Earth, be the most efficacious: That as it was
visible to the Eye, the Moon was more depurated than the Earth; was
surrounded by a thinner Air, in which the Spirit of the World is more
abundant, and was nearer to the other Planets, he naturally concluded,
that it must abound in Gold Mines; and this Conclusion was strengthened
by the Mountains discernible in the Moon; and Mountains being mostly
rocky, afforded the purest _Matrice_ for the Universal Spirit; so that
it seem'd to him impossible, that any other Metal, less pure, could be
generated in that World. That such Metals, for their Use, were often
preferable to Gold, and that in denying my Descent from thence, I was in
Fact, doing an Injury to those I wish'd to serve, since by Intercourse
with those Inhabitants, both Worlds might find their Advantage.
I answered his Excellency, That I wished he might ever find his and
his Country's Good, in all his Undertakings, since I had so great
Obligations to both; but that what I had told him of my self was every
way consonant to Truth; that I was so far from being an Inhabitant of
the Moon, that I did not believe it habitable; and if it were, I did not
think a Voyage thither practicable, for Reasons I wou'd give the
Projector, whenever his Excellency would condescend to hear my
Objections and his Answers: That if he, after that, would persist in
the Undertaking, she should find me ready to sacrifice that Life in the
Attempt, which I held from his Goodness.
Well, _return'd he_, to morrow I will have him at my House, don't
fail being there at Dinner; I will be denied to every one else, and
hope his Reasons will convince you; for I have, I own, a greater
Opinion of your Veracity, in what relates to this Affair, than of
your Judgment.
The next Day I waited on his Excellency, where I found the Projector
mention'd. He began the Discourse, addressing himself to me, after the
usual Ceremonies.
"I am sorry, _said he_, to find what I propos'd meet with any
Objection from one whose Penetration makes me fear some Obstacle
considerable, which has escaped my Scrutiny. However, if I have
the Mortification to have my Views baffled, yet shall I reap
the Advantage of being instructed in what I am ignorant of. His
Excellency has commanded me to lay before you what my Reasons are,
for supposing the Moon an inhabited Globe. I shall therefore, with
all possible Brevity, obey his Excellency's Commands. I shall not
name the ancient Sages, both of this and the neighbouring Nations,
who have been of the same Opinion, because I have already cited them
in my Memorial; but shall first offer you some Principles on which I
have, beside the Authorities mention'd, founded my own.
"First, I esteem the Moon an opaque solid Body, as is our Earth, and
consequently adapted for the Entertainment and Nourishment of its
Inhabitants. Now, that it is a solid Body, is evident by the
Repercussion of the Light which it receives from the Sun."
"Sir, _said I_, you are here begging the Question; for it is
possible, that the Moon of itself is a luminous Body; and I am
apt to believe it such for this Reason: Its Light is seen in more
than one Place at a time, whereas a Body which gives a Light by
Reflection only, that Light is perceivable in that Point alone,
where the Angle of Reflection is equal to that of Incidence."
He answer'd,
My Objection did not hold good in regard to a Body whose Surface is
rugged and uneven, as is that of the Moon. That it is an opaque and
solid Body, is visible by the Eclipses of the Sun; for a pellucid
Body could not deprive us of the Light of that glorious Planet. That
the Moon does eclipse the Sun in the same manner as our Earth
eclipses the Moon (as all know it does) makes me conclude these two
Bodies of a Nature, since the like Interposition produces the like
Effect. When I say they are of a Nature, I mean opaque, which to
prove, I argue thus: If this Planet be of it self luminous, it must
appear much brighter when eclips'd in its _perigée_, or nearest
Distance from the Earth, and its Light must be less consequently
when in its _Apogée_, or greatest Distance from it; for the nearer a
luminous Body approaches the Eye, the stronger Impression it makes
upon the Sight. Beside, the Shadow of the Earth, had the Moon any
innate and peculiar Light, cou'd not obscure it, but, on the
contrary, would render it more conspicuous, as is evident to Reason.
"Now Experience shews us, that the Moon appears with the greater
Light eclips'd in its _Apogée_, or greater Distance, and more
obscure when in its _Perigée_, or nearer Distance, consequent has no
peculiar Light of its own. That a Shadow could obscure its inherent
Light, had it any, would be making a Body of a Shadow, which is so
far from being corporeal, that it is nothing but a Deprivation of
the Light of the Sun, by the Interposition of the opaque Body of the
Earth.
"I could give many more Reasons, but to avoid Prolixity, I refer you
to my Memorial, knowing how precious Time is to your Excellency.
"I shall now speak of the principal and constituent Parts of this
Planet; to wit, the Sea, the firm Land; its Extrinsicks, as Meteors,
Seasons, and Inhabitants."
"I find, _said his Excellency_, you have forgot what you promised,
the being concise; you have already couch'd what you are going to
repeat, in Writing. I am satisfied that you have in your Memorial
demonstrated, that the Moon is like ours, a World, and this Earth,
like that, a Planet; I would willingly hear if _Probusomo_ can bring
any Objection of Weight to the undertaking the Journey; for I look
upon the Distance which you have computed to be about 179712
_Lapidians_ (answerable to so many _English_ Miles) to be none at
all, since we have _Cacklogallinians_, who, with Provisions for a
Week, will fly 480 _Lapidians_ a Day, and hold it for many Days. But
this Swiftness, as you have made appear, is not requisite, since you
judge, that in ascending some five _Lapidians_, you will have
reach'd the Atmosphere, and the rest will be attended by no other
Fatigue, than that of preventing too swift a Descent. Propose what
you have to object, _Probusomo_, for I will provide you able
Bearers, who shall carry you, and with the Strength of theirs,
supply your Defect of Wings."
I answer'd, That since his Excellency commanded, I would give in those
Objections which occurr'd: The first was the extream Coldness of the
Air; the second its great Subtlety, which to me made this Undertaking
impracticable; besides, the Distance is such, by the learned Gentleman's
Calculation, that could the _Cacklogallinians_, without resting, fly at
the rate of 1500 _Lapidians_ a Day, the Journey could not be ended in
less than six Moons: That there were no Inns in the Way, nor Places to
rest in; and supposing we could carry Provisions for that Length of
Time, I could not perceive how they could be always on Wing, and subsist
without Sleep.
His Excellency seem'd to think the Difficulties I rais'd merited
Consideration, and after some Pause, asked the Projector, if he could
solve them.
"As to the first Objection, my Lord, _said he_, I answer, that altho'
the second Region may be endow'd with Coldness proper for the
Production of Meteors, yet may it not be unsupportable; neither can
we suppose, that the Air above, which if not destin'd to the same
End, is of the same Nature, but on the contrary, we may rather
suppose it exempt from all Extremes, consequently our Passage thro'
this cold Region being performed, which we have Reason to conclude
but short, for this condens'd Air which encompasses the Earth on
every Part, weighs about 108 _Liparia_'s on a Square Inch (_Liparia_
is near a Sixth of our Pound) and we may very easily compute from
thence, what Space of this Air we have to pass, by computing what is
necessary to support this Globe of Earth, we shall find the Ætherial
altogether temperate.
"As to the second Objection, I anwer, that the Subtlety of the Air I
look upon no Obstacle; for the Air near the Earth, especially in dry
Places, where there are no impure Exhalations, by the intense Heat
of the Sun, it is perhaps as thin, and as much rarified, as the
Ætherial. This I suppose from the Tenuity of the Air on the top of
the Mountain _Tenera_, where 'tis said none can inhabit on that
account. But I have my self flown to the top of this Mountain, and
carry'd with me a wet Spunge, thro' which I drew my Breath for some
time, but by Degrees I became habituated to this Tenuity, and
respired with Ease; nay, after staying there some few Days, I found
the denser Air, on my Descent, caus'd a Difficulty in my
Respiration: From whence I concluded, that, by Degrees, the thinnest
Air may become Natural; and as I felt no Hunger while on the
Mountain, I may suppose the same Air we breathe may also nourish us.
And this is no vain Imagination, for the _Aker_ (that is, Viper) we
see live by the Spirit included in the Air, which is the Principle
of Life in all; but in case I am out in this Conjecture, we may
carry Provisions with us.
"As to the resting our selves, I affirm from the Principles of sound
Philosophy, that when once out of the Reach of the magnetick Power
of the Earth, we shall no longer gravitate, for what we call
Gravity, is no other than Attraction, consequently we may repose our
selves in the Air, if there is Occasion, which I believe there will
not; for as we shall then have no Weight to exhaust the Spirits,
there can be no Need of refreshing them either with Meat or Sleep."
The Minister rose up, and said he was fully satisfied with his Answers;
the only Thing gave him Uneasiness, was the Length of Time I said was
requisite to make this Journey.
"My Lord, _replied the Projector_, I can't agree that such a Time is
necessary; for being above the Attraction of the Earth, which is the
only laborious Part of our Passage, we may go with an inconceivable
Swiftness, especially when we come within the Attraction of the
Moon, which will certainly be encreas'd by the Weight of Provisions,
which we shall by way of Precaution carry with us, and which will be
no Burthen after we have pass'd the Atmosphere; so that what Weight
a Thousand _Cacklogallinians_ can hardly raise to that Heighth, one
might support, the rest of the Journey."
His Excellency perceiv'd by my Countenance I was not satisfied, and
therefore bid me take Heart, he wou'd send a Number of _Palanquins_ with
us, and if we found the second Region impervious by Reason of the Cold,
we shou'd have the Liberty to return.
The only Talk now in Town was our designed Journey to the Moon, for
which a great many of the swiftest Flyers were inlifted with Promises of
great Reward. _Palanquins_ were made sharp at each End, to cut the Air;
the warmest Mantles and Hoods were made for the Bearers, and the
Projector's and my _Palanquin_ were close, and lined with
Down.
A Company was erected, Shares sold of the Treasure we were to bring
back; and happy was he who could first subscribe. These Subscriptions
were sold at 2000 _per Cent._ Advantage, and in less than two Months,
the Time spent in preparing for our Journey, I saw at least Five Hundred
Lacqueys, who had fallen into the Trade of buying and selling these
Subscriptions in their gilt _Palanquins_, and Train of Servants after
them. The _Squabbaws_, the _Vultuaquilians_, the Minister, and some of
the Grand Council, shared amongst them Fifty Millions of _Spasma_'s,
ready Money, for what they sold of this chimerical Treasure.
This open'd my Eyes, and I found I had been very short-sighted, in
condemning the Minister for giving Ear to a Project so contrary to
Reason: But when I saw the noblest Families, and such whose Ruine was
necessary to his own Support, sell their Estates to buy Shares, I look'd
upon him as the wisest Minister in the known World; and was lost in
Wonder, when I confider'd the Depth of his Designs.
I took the Liberty, once to mention my Astonishment to him, with all the
Deference due to his exalted Quality, and with the Praises he justly
deserved. He answer'd me, that he fear'd I saw farther than was either
convenient, or safe for me, if my Taciturnity did not equal my
Penetration. This he spoke in a Tone which gave me Apprehension of
Danger; I threw my self at his Feet, and begg'd he would rather kill me,
than suspect my Zeal for his Service; that what I had taken the Liberty
of saying to his Excellency, I had never the Imprudence to mention to
any other; and that I hop'd the Experience he had of me would assure him
of my Secrecy. _Learn_, said he, _that Ministers work like Moles, and
it's as dangerous to shew them you can enter into their Views, as to
attempt their Lives: I have a Confidence in you; but had any other held
me the same Discourse, I would have put it out of his Power to have
repeated it to a third Person._
The Author begins his Journey to the MOON.
All things necessary being provided, and the _Palanquins_ of Provisions
being sent before to join us at the Mountain _Tenera_, I had an Audience
of Leave of his Imperial Majesty and his _Squabbaws_; after which, I
went to receive my last Instructions from his Excellency. He gave me a
Paper, with Orders not to open it, till I was arrived at the Mountain,
which was about a Thousand Miles from the City. He having wish'd me a
good Journey, said he had given Orders to six lusty _Cacklogallimans_ to
obey those I should give them; that he depended on my Fidelity and
Prudence, and therefore, as I would find, had reposed a great Trust in
me. I made him a suitable Answer, and retired to my Apartment in the
Palace, where I found the Projector, who told me we were to set out the
next Morning before Day. I asked him, in Case we succeeded in our
Journey, and found the Riches we coveted, how we should bring away any
Quantity?
"If, _said he_, that happens, we shall, in a second Journey, be
provided with Vehicles, if there is Occasion; but I propose to
extract such a Quantity of the Soul of Gold, which I can infuse into
Lead at our Return, that we may be rich enough to pave the Streets
with that valuable Metal; for a Grain will, infused into Lead, make
an Ounce of pure Gold. Now, if a Penny-weight of the Soul will make
Twenty four Ounces, or Two Pound of Gold, consider what immense
Treasure we may bring back with us, since the _Palanquineers_ can
fly with Five Hundred Weight in a _Palanquin_."
The next Morning we set forward at about Three o' Clock, and reach'd the
Mountain in about Forty six Hours. We first refresh'd our selves, and
when I was alone, I open'd my Instructions, which ran thus:
As Experience proves you are not to be led by chimerical Notions,
and that your Capacity and Fidelity render you fit to undertake the
most difficult and secret Affairs, his Imperial Majesty thought none
so fit as yourself to be entrusted in the Management of the present
Scheme; which that you may do to his Majesty's Satisfaction, and
your own Interest and Credit, you are to observe the following
Instructions.
"You are to order _Volatilio_, the first Proposer of the Journey now
undertaken, to go to the Top of the Hill a Day before you, and from
thence to acquaint you with the Nature of the Air; and if you find
it practicable, you are to follow him. If you gain the Summit, and
that the Air is too thin for Respiration, you are to descend again,
dispatch an Express to his Majesty, and clap _Volatilio_ in Irons,
then dispatch away one of the six Messengers whom I ordered to
attend you: They, _Volatilio_, and the whole Caravan, are to obey
you, till you have pass'd the Atmosphere, when you and they are to
follow the Directions of _Volatilio_, in what regards the Way only;
but, in Case that you can respire on the Top of the Mountain, order
_Volatilio_ to precede you a Day's Ascent, return the next, and
immediately dispatch a second Messenger with the Account he gives,
and continue on the Mountain for farther Instructions, before you
proceed, should it prove practicable. I need not tell you the
Publick must be amused with Hopes of Success, tho' you have Reason
to despair of it; nor need I even hint to you what Method you ought
to take. I wish you Health, and that your Conduct may answer my
Expectations."
I acted pursuant to these Instructions, and sent _Volatilio_ forward,
who reach'd the Top of the Hill; but finding the Air too thin to
continue there, without the Help of humected Spunges, he therefore sent
those back he carried with him to the mid Space of the Mountain, and an
Express to me, by which he informed me what he had done; that he
resolved to continue there a natural Day, and then join me where he had
sent his Followers, to which Place he desired I would ascend, and defer
the dispatching any Express to his Majesty, till he saw me again.
I ascended to the Mid-space, and found a vast Alteration in the Air,
which even here was very sensibly rarified.
My Projector came to me at his appointed Time, and told me he did not
question the Success of our Enterprize, since he imagined the Air above
the second Region rather denser than that near the Earth, and hoped the
Cold was not more intense than on the Mountain's Top; and that if this
prov'd so, we cou'd breathe and support the Cold with little Difficulty.
I answer'd, that it was natural to conclude the Air next the Earth more
dense than that above it, as the weightiest always descends the first.
"That Reason, _said he_, is not conclusive, for the Air immediately
encompassing the Earth, is more sensible of its attractive Power,
than that at a greater Distance, as you may be satisfied, in placing
two Pieces of Iron, one near, and the other at a Distance from the
Loadstone; the nearest Piece will be strongly attracted, while that
at a greater Distance is but weakly affected. Now supposing the Air
only of an equal Density thro'out when we have left the Earth,
(which, by the Reflection of Heat from the Mountains, rarifies the
circumambient Air, and renders it more subtle than that above it) we
may respire without Pain; for in less than Six Hours I, by Degrees,
withdrew my Spunge."
I dispatch'd an Express with the Account I had received, and set
forward, resolving to wait for further Instructions on the top of the
Mountain. I was at a good Distance from the Summit, when I was obliged,
by the Thinness of the Air, to have Recourse to my wet Spunge, and
was Four and Twenty Hours before I could intirely remove it. The
_Cacklogallinians_ found less Difficulty than I in their Respiration,
but more in supporting the rigid Cold, especially at Night, when the
Damps fell. We staid here Eight Days, that the Subtlety of the Air might
become habitual to us.
On the seventh Day, the Messenger return'd with Credentials for
_Volatilio_ and my self, to the Potentate in whose Dominions we might
happen, and Orders to proceed on our Journey. This Messenger told me,
that on the Contents of my Letter being publish'd, the Town was
illuminated throughout, and such a Number of Coaches and _Palanquins_
bespoke, that he believed, at our Return, we should find none out of
them but the Ostriches. Our Credentials ran thus.
"HIPPOMENE-CONNUFERENTO, Emperor and absolute Monarch of the greatest
Empire in the Terrestrial Globe, Disposer of Kingdoms, Judge of
Kings, Dispenser of Justice, Light of the World, Joy of the Sun,
Darling of Mortals, Scourge of Tyrants, and Refuge of the Distress'd,
to the Puissant Monarch of that Kingdom in the Moon, to which our
Ambassadors shall arrive: Or, To the Mighty and Sole Lord of that
beautiful Planet, sends Greeting.
"Dearly Beloved Brother, and most Mighty Prince, as it has been long
doubted by our Ancestors, as well as by those of our Time, whether
the Moon were, or were not inhabited, We, who have ever encouraged
those who seek the universal Good of Mortals, supposing it possible,
if that Planet were possess'd by such, that an Intercourse between
the two Worlds might be of mutual Advantage to both, have sent our
two Ambassadors, _Volatilio_ and _Probusomo_, to attempt a Passage
to your World, and to assure you, if they succeed, of the great
Desire we have of entertaining with you a reciprocal Friendship, of
giving all possible Demonstrations of our Affection, and to invite
you to send to our World your Ambassadors, with whom we may consult
our common Interest. So recommending ours to your Protection, we
heartily bid you farewell.
"Given at our Court, _&c._"
According to the Orders we receiv'd, _Volatilio_ took his Flight in an
oblique Ascent, without a _Palanquin_, but wrapt up as warm as possible,
accompanied by two Servants. He parted with great Alacrity, and we soon
lost Sight of him. Some Half a Score, in Complaisance, took a Flight of
three Hours to see him part of his Way towards his Discovery.
He went off at break of Day, to avoid those Vapours which the Heat of
the Sun exhales, and which by Night would have rendered his Passage, he
thought, impossible; for he hoped, in a small Space to gain beyond the
Heighth they rise to. At the Return of those who convoy'd him, I sent
away an Express, to acquaint the Emperor with their Report, which was,
That they found no sensible Alteration as to the Rarefaction of the Air,
and that the Cold was rather less intense. This News at Court made every
one run mad after Shares, which the Proprietors sold at what Rate they
pleas'd.
The next Day in the Even, we saw _Volatilio_ on his Return: His first
Salutation was,
Courage my Friend, I have pas'd the Atmosphere, and, by Experience,
have found my Conjecture true; for being out of the magnetick Power
of the Earth, we rested in the Air, as on the solid Earth, and in an
Air extreamly temperate, and less subtle than what we breathe.
I sent again this Account to Court, but the Courtiers having no more
Shares to sell, gave out, that _Volatilio_ did not return as he
promis'd, and it was expected, that I despair'd of the Undertaking,
and believ'd him lost.
This was such a Damp to the Town; that Shares fell to Half Value, and
none of the Courtiers would buy, sell they cou'd not, having (I mean
those let into the Secret) already dispos'd of all by their Agents, tho'
they pretended the contrary.
The Express return'd, with private Orders for me to confirm this Report,
which I was oblig'd to do, and stay eight Days longer, as the publick
Instructions to us both commanded.
This was a great Mortification to _Volatilio_, and, I own, the Report he
made had rais'd my Curiosity so much, that I was uneasy at this Delay;
but we were to obey, and not to enquire into the Reasons of
it.
The Messenger returning, told me, that my last Letter had fallen the
Shares to five _per Cent._ under _Par_, nothing but Lamentations eccho'd
thro' the Streets, and it was impossible to give an Idea of the Change
it had occasion'd. The Letter the Minister sent me order'd me to write
him Word, that _Volatilio_ was returned, had found no Obstacles, and
that I was preparing to depart. That the Court had bought up a vast
Number of Shares, and that he took Care of my Interest in particular;
that I need stay for no farther Instructions, but make the best of my
Way.
I gave Notice to the Caravan, that we would set forward the next
Morning, which we accordingly did, and as near as I could compute,
we flew that Day, 180 Miles. What surpriz'd me was, that in less
than an Hour and half's Ascent, _Volatilio_, who would not go in his
_Palanquin_, folded his Wings, and came to me on Foot, and told me I
might get out and stretch my Limbs. My _Palanquineers_ stood still, and
confirm'd what he said; and more, that they had not for a Quarter of an
Hour past been sensible of my Weight, which had lessen'd by Degrees, so
as not to be felt at all.
I left my _Palanquin_, and found what _Volatilio_ had conjectur'd, and
his Report verified; for I could with as much Ease lift a _Palanquin_ of
Provisions, which did not on Earth weigh less than 500 Weight, as I
could on our Globe raise a Feather. The Cold was very much abated, and
I found my Spirits rais'd.
I would here have sent back half the _Palanquin_-Bearers, but
_Volatilio_ was of Opinion we should keep them a Day longer; for,
perhaps, said he, we may send them all (except those which carry you)
away; for if the Universal Spirit included in the Air should suffice for
our Nourishment, we have no Business with Provisions.
I approv'd his Reason, and we proceeded on, sure of falling first into
the Attraction of the Moon, it being the nearest Planet to us.
I shall not detain the Reader with my Observations in this aerial
Journey; _Gallileus_, who by his Writings gives me room to believe he
had, before me, visited this Planet, whatever were his Reasons for not
owning it, having left nothing, which is not mentioned in his _Systema
Mundi_.
I observ'd only, which I take Notice of for those who have not read him,
that when the Moon has but a small Part of his Body enlighten'd, that
the Earth, the other Moon, has a proportionable Part of its Hemisphere
visibly darken'd; I mean a Part in proportion to that of the Moon which
is enlighten'd; and that both these Moons, of which ours is much the
larger, mutually participate the same Light of the Sun, and the same
Obscurity of the Eclipses, and mutually assist each other: For when the
Moon is in Conjunction with the Sun, and its _pars superior_ receives
all the Light, then its inferior Hemisphere is enlighten'd by the
Earth's reflecting the Rays of the Sun, otherwise it would be intirely
dark; and when those two Planets are in Opposition, then that Part of
the Earth which is deprived of the Rays of the Sun, is enlighten'd by a
full Moon.
The next Day _Volatilio_ was for sending back the Provisions, but I
judg'd it proper not to go forward, but to stay the Space of a natural
Day, in the same Situation, because in that time, or in no other in the
Journey, we should require Sustenance, and also because their Return
would be easier, than if we carried them still forward.
This was agreed to, and none of us finding any Appetite, Weakness, or
Sinking of our Spirits, dismiss'd all but those who carried my
_Palanquin_, and proceeded forward with an incredible Swiftness.
We were about a Month before we came into the Attraction of the Moon, in
all which time none of us had the least Inclination to Sleep or Meat, or
found our selves any way fatigued, nor, till we reach'd that Planet, did
we close our Eyes; the Attraction was so great, that it was all the
Bearers and _Volatilio_ could do to prevent our being dash'd to Pieces
on a Mountain; we descended with that inconceivable Swiftness, that I
apprehended it impossible, in our Return, to avoid that Misfortune in
the World we left; since the Attraction, if its Virtue was augmented in
proportion to its Magnitude, must be much stronger.
This Thought made me very uneasy for those who return'd. I spoke of it
to _Volatilio_ who bid me apprehend nothing; for, said he, the Magnetick
Virtue of the Load-stone is so far from being in Proportion to its Size,
that the very large ones have less attractive Power than those which are
middling.
When I had recover'd from the Fright, which the Rapidity of our Descent
had put me into, I view'd the circumjacent Country with equal Wonder and
Delight; Nature seem'd here to have lavish'd all her Favours; on
whatsoever Side I turn'd my Eye, the most ravishing Prospect was offer'd
to my Sight. The Mountain yielded a gradual Descent to most beautiful
Meadows, enamell'd with Cowslips, Roses, Lilies, Jessamines, Carnations,
and other fragrant Flowers, unknown to the Inhabitants of our Globe,
which were as grateful to the Smell, as entertaining to the Eye. The
chrystal Rivulets which smoothly glided thro' these inchanting Meads,
seem'd so many Mirrors reflecting the various Beauties of those
odoriferous Flowers which adorn'd their Banks. The Mountain, which was
of considerable Height, afforded us a great Variety in our Prospect, and
the Woods, Pastures, Meads, and small Arms of the Sea, were intermingled
with that surprizing Beauty and Order, that they seem'd rather dispos'd
by Art, than the Product of Nature; the Earth it self yielded a grateful
and enlivening Scent, and is so pure, that it does not sully the Hands.
The Cedars, which cloath'd the middle Part of the Summit, were streight,
tall, and so large, that seven Men would hardly fathom the Bowl of one;
round these twin'd the grateful Honey-suckle, and encircling Vine, whose
purple Grapes appearing frequent from among the Leaves of the wide
extended Branches, gave an inconceivable Pleasure to the Beholder. The
Lily of the Valley, Violet, Tuberose, Pink, Julip and Jonquil, cloath'd
their spacious Roots, and the verdant Soil afforded every salutiferous
Herb and Plant, whose Vertues diffus'd thro' the ambient Air (without
the invenom'd and the griping Fist of the _Cacklogallinian_ Empiricks)
Preservatives to the blessed Inhabitants of the Lunar World.
The Heavens here were ever serene; no Thunder-bearing Cloud obscur'd the
Sky; the whispering Zephyrs wanton'd in the Leaves, and gently bore
along the enchanting Musick of the feather'd Choir: The Sea here knew no
Storms, nor threatning Wave, with Mountain swell, menaced the Ships,
which safely plough'd the peaceful Bosom of the Deep. _Æolus_ and all
his boisterous Sons were banish'd from these happy Seats, and only
kindly Breezes fann'd the fragrant Air. In short, all was ravishing, and
Nature seem'd here to have given her last Perfection to her Works, and
to rejoice in her finish'd Labours.
I found my Spirits so invigorated by the refreshing Odours, of this
Paradice, so elated with the Serenity of the Heavens, and the Beauties
which every where entertained and rejoiced my Sight, that in Extasy I
broke out into this grateful Soliloquy.
O Source of Wisdom, Eternal Light of the Universe! what Adorations
can express the grateful Acknowledgments of thy diffusive Bounty!
Who can contemplate the beauty of thy Works, the Product of thy
single _Fiat_, and not acknowledge thy Omnipotence, Omniscience, and
extensive Goodness! What Tongue can refrain from singing thy Praise!
What Heart so hard, but must be melted into Love! Oh Eternal
Creator, pity my Weakness, and since I cannot speak a Gratitude
adequate to thy Mercies, accept the Fulness of my Heart, too
redundant for Expression.
As I spoke this, in the _Cacklogallinian_ Tongue, _Volatilio_ came up to
me, and said,
"Alas! _Probusomo_, how can a finite Being return Praises adequate to
infinite Mercies! Let us return such as we are capable of; let the
Probity of our Lives speak our Gratitude; by our Charity for each
other endeavour to imitate the Divine Goodness, and speak our Love
to him, by that we shew to Mortals, the Work of his Divine Will,
however they may differ from us, and from one another, in their
Species. I am glad I am not deceived in my Opinion of you. I
believed from the Observation I made of your Life in a corrupt and
dissolute Court, that you fear'd the first Being of Beings, and for
that Reason chose you Companion of this hitherto unattempted
Journey; for I expected a Blessing would attend my Undertaking,
while such a one was embark'd with me: For to the Shame of our
Nation, we own a Deity in Words, but deny him in our Actions: We
acknowledge this Divine Being must be pure and just, and that our
Lives (as he must abominate all Impurity and Injustice) ought to be
conformable to his Attributes, wou'd we hope his Favour and
Protection, notwithstanding we act diametrically opposite, as the
most ready Method to procure our Happiness."
Finding our selves press'd by Hunger, we descended the Mountain, at the
Foot of which we found a Plantation of Olive Trees, and abundance of
Pear, standing Apricock, Nectarn, Peach, Orange, and Lemon Trees,
interspers'd. We satisfied our craving Appetites with the Fruit we
gather'd, and then getting into my _Palanquin_, _Volatilio_ leading the
Way, we went in Search of the Inhabitants. Our Flight was little better
than a Soar, that we might with more Advantage view the Country.
After a couple of Hours, he saw a House, but of so great a Height,
and so very large, I who was short-sighted in Comparison of the
_Cacklogallinians_, took it for a great Hill; I told him my Opinion, but
he assured me I was mistaken. We therefore urg'd forward, and I alighted
not far from this Palace, for I could term it no other, from the
Largeness and Beauty of its Structure. We had been discover'd, as I had
reason to believe, some Time, and a Number of People about Thirty, at
our alighting, immediately encompass'd me. The gigantick Make of these
Inhabitants struck me with a panick Fear, which I also discover'd in the
Eyes of the _Cacklogallinians_.
They were of different Statures, from Thirty to an Hundred and Fifty
Foot high, as near as I cou'd guess; some of them were near as thick
as long, some proportionable, and others shap'd like a Pine, being no
thicker than my self, tho' tall of an Hundred Foot.
I resolv'd however to conceal, if possible, the Terror I was in, and
coming out of my _Palanquin_, I went to salute the Company, when I
observ'd they retired from me in proportion as I advanced, and like a
Vapour, or an _Ignis fatuus_, the Air being mov'd by my Motion, drove
those which were directly opposite still before me.
I stood still, they did the same; if I was astonish'd at their Make, and
at what other things I had observ'd, I was more so, when I saw one of
the tallest, dwindle in the Twinkling of an Eye, to a Pigmy, fly into
the Air without Wings, and carry off a Giant in each Hand by the Hair of
the Head.
They were all differently dress'd at their first Appearance; some like
Generals in Armour, some were in Ecclesiastical, and some in Gowns not
unlike our Barristers at Law. Some were dress'd as fine as Imagination
could make 'em, but with the quickness of Thought, these Dresses were
all changed, who was cover'd with Rags one Moment, the next was in
Purple, with a Crown on his Head; the Beau in Rags; the Priest assum'd
the Air and Dress of a Bully, and the General was turn'd into a demure
Figure resembling a _Quaker_.
I was struck dumb with Amazement, and while I was considering with my
self what this should mean, I observ'd a Man riding up to us, mounted on
a Lion; when he came to the others, I found him of the common Size with
the Inhabitants of our Globe; he had on his Head a Crown of Bays, which
in an Instant chang'd to a Fool's Cap, and his Lion to an Ass. He drew
from his Breast a Rowl like a Quire of Written Paper, which using as a
Sword, he set upon the others, and dispers'd them. Some ran over the
Sea, as on dry Ground; others flew into the Air, and some sunk into the
Earth. Then alighting from his Ass, he opened the Jaws of the Animal,
went down his Throat, and they both vanish'd.
After I had recover'd my Fright, I told _Volatilio_, that I fear'd this
Planet was inhabited by evil Spirits. He answered, that what we had
seen, was sufficient to induce us to believe so. We look'd for the
House, which we saw rise into the Air, and vanish in Flame and Smoke,
which strengthen'd our Opinion. However, we resolv'd to go forward, when
one of the _Palanquineers_ said he saw a House on the left, and People
of my Size and Species making towards us.
We determin'd therefore to wait their Arrival, which was in less than a
Quarter of an Hour. They accosted me very courteously, as I could gather
from their Gestures, tho' they seem'd surprized at the Size of the
_Cacklogallinians_. I was not less amaz'd at the Beauty of their
Persons, and the Becomingness of their Dress, either of which I can give
no just Idea of. Let it suffice, that I seem'd both in my own, and in
the Eyes of the _Cacklogallinians_, something of the same Species, but
frightfully ugly.
These People are neither a corporeal, nor an aerial Substance, but (I
know not how otherwise to express my self) between both. They spoke to
me in a Language I did not understand, but the Tone of their Voices, and
the Smoothness of their Syllables, were divinely harmonious. I bow'd my
Body to the Ground three times, and offer'd my Credentials, which one of
them took, but by the shaking of his Head, I found understood nothing of
the Contents. _Volatilio_ then address'd himself to them, which made
them look on one another, as People who hardly believed their Senses.
As I had address'd these _Selenites_ in the _Cacklogallinian_ Language,
I had a Mind to try, if speaking in those of the _Europeans_ (for I
understood, beside my own, the _French_ and _Spanish_) I should have any
better Success. I therefore spoke in _English_, and, to my great Joy,
one of the Company answer'd me. He ask'd me, Whether I came from the
World? if so, how I durst undertake so perilous a Journey? I told him,
I would satisfy his Curiosity in answering all his Questions, but
desired he would give me some Time; for I had been so terrified by
Phantoms, since my Arrival, that I was hardly capable of Recollection.
While I was speaking, a Man on Horseback ran full speed upon me with a
drawn Sabre, to cleave me down; but the _Selenite_ waving his Hand, he
soon vanish'd.
"You need, _said he_, apprehend nothing from these Shades; they are
the Souls of the Inhabitants of your World, which being loos'd from
the Body by Sleep, resort here, and for the short Space allotted
them, indulge the Passions which predominate, or undergo the
Misfortunes they fear while they are in your Globe. Look ye, _said
he_, yonder is a Wretch going to the Gallows, and his Soul feels the
same Agony, as if it was a real Sentence to be executed on him. Our
Charity obliges us, when we see those imaginary Ills, to drive the
Soul back to its Body, which we do, by waving our Hand in the Air,
and the agonizing Dreamer wakes. We do also retain them by a Virtue
peculiar to the _Selenites_, and as they sometimes administer a
great deal of Diversion, we do it for our Entertainment, which is
the Reason of those long Naps of two or three Days, nay, of as many
Weeks, which cause the Wonder of your World. The Souls of your
impure Dreamers never reach beyond the middle Region. But we delay
too long inviting you to our Habitations, where you shall have all
possible Care taken of you. But by what Art have you taught Fowls
articulate Sounds? and where could you possibly find them of that
Size?"
I told him they were rational Beings, but that the Story was now too
long to tell him; he presented me to the rest of the Company, and, at
my Request, the _Cacklogallinians_ were humanly treated, whom otherwise
they had look'd upon as overgrown dunghill Fowls. _Volatilio_ did not
appear much surpriz'd at this, who had once esteem'd me a Prodigy of
Nature. As we walk'd to the House, one of the _Selenites_ address'd me
in the _Spanish_ Language, with the known Affiability and Gravity of
that Nation.
"Sir, _said he_, I cannot consider you as other, than the bravest and
wisest of all Mortals, who could find the Way to reach our World,
and had the Courage to undertake the Journey; for it's certain, none
cloath'd in Flesh ever (before you) made so bold an Attempt, or at
least succeeded in it: Tho' I have read the Chimera's of _Dominick
Gonzales_. While you stay amongst us, you may depend upon our
treating you with all the Respect answerable to so great Merit, and
in every thing endeavour, as far as the Power we have will permit,
that the Design of your Journey may not be frustrated, which I am
apt to believe, is no other than to extend your Knowledge."
I return'd him many Thanks for his Humanity, but told him I durst not
attribute to my self the Character he gave me; that I was a Lover of
Truth, and would not, on any Account, disguise the real Motive which
sent me on an Undertaking I look'd upon impossible to go thro' with,
and which I very unwillingly embark'd in: But since, contrary to my
Expectations, Providence has guided me to this Terrestrial Paradice,
I should esteem my self extreamly happy, if I might be permitted to ask
such Questions as my Curiosity might prompt me to.
He answer'd, that nothing I desir'd to know should be kept from me. We
soon reach'd the House, which was regular, neat, and convenient. We all
sat down in an inner Hall, and he who spoke _English_, desired I would
give an Account, both of the Motives, the Manner, and Accidents of my
Journey, which I did as succinctly as possible, interpreting the
Credentials, when I gave them.
He was astonish'd at the Account I gave him of the _Cacklogallinians_,
and said, if my Account was not back'd with ocular Demonstration, he
should take their Story for the Ravings of a distemper'd Brain.
"I find, _said he_, you begin to be drowzy; I would therefore have
you and your rational Fowls (as you call them) repose your selves,
while I in the _Vernacular_ Language, repeat to my Companions the
Wonders I have heard from you."
We were indeed very sleepy, and I was heartily glad of the Proposal, as
were also the _Cacklogallinians_, when I mention'd it to them. They, as
well as my self, were provided each of them with a Bed, in very handsome
and commodious Rooms. These Beds were so very soft, that I seem'd to lye
on a Couch of Air. When we awak'd, the _Selenites_ came into my Chamber,
and told me it was time to take some Nourishment; that they had provided
Corn for my Companions, and desir'd I would sit down to Supper with
them, it being their usual time.
"Why, Sir, _said I_, to our _English_ Interpreter, do you sup by
Day-light? You mistake, _said he_, it is now Night; your World to
the Inhabitants of this Hemisphere (which is always turn'd to it,
this Planet moving in an Epicycle) reflects so strong the Sun's
Light, that your Error is excusable. What then, _said I_, do those
of the other Hemisphere for Light? They have it, _said he_, from the
Planets."
I went with them into a Parlour, where, after a Hymn was sung, we sat
down to a Table cover'd with Sallets and all sorts of Fruits.
"You must, _said the Selenite_, content your self with what we can
offer you, which is nothing but the spontaneous Products of the
Earth: We cannot invite you to other, since the eating any thing
that has had Life, is look'd upon with Abhorrence, and never known
in this World: But I am satisfied you will easily accommodate
your self to our Diet, since the Taste of our Fruits is much more
exquisite than yours, since they fully satisfy, and never cloy:"
Which I found true by Experience, and I was so far from hankering after
Flesh, that even the Thoughts of it were shocking and nauseous to me.
We drank the most delicious Wine, which they press'd from the Grape
into their Cups, and which was no way intoxicating. After Supper, the
_Selenite_ address'd himself to me in Words to this Effect.
"I have acquainted my Friends here present, who are come to pass some
Days with me, both with the Contents of the _Cacklogallinian_
Emperor's Letter, and the Reasons which mov'd this Prince to desire
an Intercourse between the two Worlds, and we will all of us wait on
you to our Prince's Court, tho' strictly speaking, we neither have,
nor need a Governour; and we pay the distant Respect due to your
Princes to the eldest among us, as he is the nearest to eternal
Happiness. But that I may give you some Idea, both of this World,
and its Inhabitants, you must learn, that Men in yours are endued
with a Soul and an Understanding; the Soul is a material Substance,
and cloathes the Understanding, as the Body does the Soul; at the
Separation of these two, the Body is again resolved into Earth, and
the Soul of the Virtuous is placed in this Planet, till the
Understanding being freed from it by a Separation we may call Death,
tho' not attended with Fear or Agony, it is resolved into our Earth,
and its Principle of Life, the Understanding, returns to the Great
Creator; for till we have here purg'd off what of Humanity remains
attach'd to the Soul, we can never hope to appear before the pure
Eyes of the Deity.
"We are here, _said he_, in a State of Ease and Happiness, tho' no
way comparable to that we expect at our Dissolution, which we as
earnestly long for, as you Mortals carefully avoid it. We forget
nothing that pass'd while we were cloath'd in Flesh, and Inhabitants
of your Globe, and have no other Uneasiness, than what the
Reflection of our Ingratitude to the Eternal Goodness, while in
Life, creates in us, which the Eternal lessens in proportion to our
Repentance, which is here very sincere. This will cease your Wonder
at hearing the Sublunary Languages.
"We have here no Passions to gratify, no Wants to supply, the Roots
of Vice, which under no Denomination is known among us; consequently
no Laws, nor Governours to execute them, are here necessary.
"Had the _Cacklogallinian_ Prince known thus much, he would have been
sensible how vain were his Expectations of getting from us the Gold
he thirsts after: For were we to meet with the purest Veins of that
Metal, by removing only one Turf, not a _Selenite_ would think it
worth his while.
"This is a Place of Peace and Tranquillity, and this World is exactly
adapted to the Temper of its Inhabitants: Nature here is in an
Eternal Calm; we enjoy an everlasting Spring; the Soil yields
nothing noxious, and we can never want the Necessaries of Life,
since every Herb affords a salubrious Repast to the _Selenites_.
"We pass our Days without Labour, without other Anxiety, than what I
mention'd, and the longing Desire we have for our Dissolution, makes
every coming Day encrease our Happiness.
"We have not here, as in your World, Distinction of Sexes; for know,
all Souls are masculine (if I may be allow'd that Term, after what
I've said) however distinguish'd in the Body; and tho' of late Years
the Number of those which change your World for this (especially of
the _European_ Quarter) is very small; yet we do not apprehend our
World will be left unpeopled."
"You say, _replied I_, that none but the virtuous Soul reaches these
blissfull Seats; what then becomes of the Vicious? and how comes it,
that the Soul, when loosed by Sleep, I suppose without Distinction,
retires hither?"
"The Decrees, _said he_, of the Almighty are inscrutable, and you
ask me Questions are not in my Power to resolve you."
"Have not, _said I_, the _Cacklogallinians_ Souls, think you, since
they're endued with Reason?" "If they have, _said he_, they never
are sent hither."
I repeated this Discourse to the _Cacklogallinians_, which made
_Volatilio_ extreamly melancholly.
Happy Men! _said he,_ to whose Species the divine Goodness has been
so indulgent! Miserable _Cacklogallinians_! if destin'd, after
bearing the Ills of Life, to Annihilation. Let us, _Probusomo_,
never think of returning, but beg we may be allow'd to end our Days
with these Favourites of Heaven.
I interpreted this to the _Selenite_, who shook his Head, and said it
was, he believ'd, impossible. That he did not doubt but Providence would
reward the Virtuous of his Species; that his Mercy and Justice were
without Bound, which ought to keep him from desponding.
The next Day a great Number of _Selenites_ came to see me, and
entertain'd me with abundance of Candour. I seeing no Difference in
Dress, nor any Deference paid to any, as distinguish'd by a superior
Rank, I took Liberty to ask my _English Selenite_, if all the
Inhabitants were upon a Level, and if they had no Servants nor
Artificers?
"We have, _said he_, no Distinctions among us; who in your World
begg'd Alms, with us, has the same Respect as he who govern'd a
Province: Tho', to say Truth, we have but few of your sublunary
Quality among us. We have no Occasion for Servants; we are all
Artificers, and none where Help is necessary, but offers his with
Alacrity. For Example, would I build a House, every one here, and
as many more as were wanting, would take a Pleasure to assist me."
He told me, that the next Day they intended to present me to _Abrahijo_,
the oldest _Selenite_.
Accordingly, we set out at Sun-rising, and entered a Bark about a League
from the House, and having pass'd about four Leagues on a River which
ran thro' a Valley beautiful beyond Description, we went ashore within
an Hundred Yards _Abrahijo_'s Place of Abode.
When we came in, the venerable old Man, whose compos'd and chearful
Countenance spoke the Heaven of his Mind, rose from his Chair, and came
to meet us; he was of a great Age, but free from the Infirmities which
attend it in our World.
The _English Selenite_ presented me to him with few Words, and he
received me with Tenderness.
After he was inform'd of my Story, he spoke to me by our Interpreter,
to this Effect.
"My Son, I hope you will reap a solid Advantage from the perilous
Journey you have made, tho' your Expectation of finding Riches among
us is frustrated. All that I have to give you, is my Advice to
return to your World, place your Happiness in nothing transitory;
nor imagine that any Riches, but those which are Eternal, which
neither _Thief can carry away, nor Rust corrupt_, are worthy of your
Pursuit. Keep continually in your Eye the Joys prepared for those
who employ the Talents they are entrusted with, as they ought:
Reflect upon the little Content your World can afford you: Consider
how short is Life, and that you have but little Time to spare for
Trifles, when the grand Business, the securing your eternal Rest,
ought to employ your Mind. You are there in a State of Probation,
and you must there chuse whether you will be happy or miserable; you
will not be put to a second Trial; you sign at once your own
Sentence, and it will stand irrevocable, either for or against you.
Weigh well the Difference between a momentary and imperfect, and an
eternal and solid Happiness, to which the Divine Goodness invites
you; nay, by that Calmness, that Peace of Mind, which attends a
virtuous Life, bribes you to make Choice of, if you desire to be
among us, be your own Friend, and you will be sure to have those
Desires gratify'd. But you must now return, since it was never
known, that gross Flesh and Blood ever before breath'd this Air, and
that your Stay may be fatal to you, and disturb the Tranquillity of
the _Selenites_. This I prophesy, and my Compassion obliges me to
warn you of it."
I made him a profound Reverence, thank'd him for his charitable
Admonition, and told him I hoped nothing should win me from the
Performance of a Duty which carry'd with it such ineffable Rewards.
That if no greater were promised, than those indulged to the
_Selenites_, I would refuse no Misery attending the most abject Life,
to be enrolled in the Number of the Inhabitants of that happy Region.
"I wish, _replied he_, the false Glare of the World does not hinder
the Execution of these just Resolutions: But that I may give you
what Assistance is in our Power, in hopes of having you among us, we
will shew the World unmask'd; that is, we will detain some time the
Souls of Sleepers, that you may see what Man is, how false, how
vain, in all he acts or wishes. Know, that the Soul loos'd by Sleep,
has the Power to call about it all the Images which it would employ,
can raise imaginary Structures, form Seas, Lands, Fowls, Beasts, or
whatever the rational Faculty is intent upon. You shall now take
some Refreshment, and after that we will both divert and instruct
you."
The Table was spread by himself and the other _Selenites_, the
_Cacklogallinians_ and my self invited, and I observ'd it differ'd
nothing, either in Quality or Quantity, from that of my _English_
Host.
After a solemn Adoration of the ineffable Creator, each took his Place;
having finish'd our Meal, at which a strict Silence was observed,
_Abrahijo_ took me by the Hand, and led me into a neighbouring Field,
the Beauty of which far excell'd that of the most labour'd and
artificial Garden among us.
"Here, _said he_, observe yon Shade; I shall not detain it, that you
may see the Care and Uneasiness attending Riches."
The Shade represented an old withered starv'd Carcass, brooding over
Chests of Money. Immediately appeared three ill-look'd Fellows; Want,
Despair, and Murder, were lively-pictur'd in their Faces; they were
taking out the Iron Bars of the old Man's Window, when all vanish'd of a
sudden. I ask'd the Meaning of it; he told me, the Terror the Dream of
Thieves put him into, had awaken'd him; and the Minute he slept again, I
should see again his Shade. Hardly had _Abrahijo_ done speaking, when I
again saw the old Man, with a young well-dress'd Spark standing by him,
who paid him great Respect. I heard him say very distinctly,
"Sir, do you think I am made of Money, or can you imagine the
Treasure of a Nation will supply your Extravagance? The Value I have
for you on Account of your Father, who was my good Friend, has made
me tire all my Acquaintance, by borrowing of them to furnish your
Pockets: However, I'll try, if I cannot borrow One Thousand more for
you, tho' I wish your Estate will bear it, and that I don't out of
my Love to you, rashly bring myself into Trouble. You know I am
engaged for all; and if the Mortgage you have given should not be
valid, I am an undone Man. I can't, I protest, raise this Money
under Fifteen _per Cent_, and it's cheap, very cheap, considering
how scarce a Commodity it is grown. It's a Pity so generous a young
Gentleman should be straiten'd. I don't question a Pair of Gloves
for the Trouble I have. I know you too well to insist on't: I am old
and crazy, Coach-hire is very dear, I can't walk, God help me, and
my Circumstances won't afford a Coach. A Couple of Guineas is a
Trifle with you: I'll get you the Thousand Pound, if I can, at
Fifteen _per Cent._ but if my Friend should insist on Twenty (for
Money is very hard to be got with the best Security) must I refuse
it? Yes; I can't suffer you to pay such an exorbitant Premium; it is
too much, too much in Conscience; I can't advise you to it."
The young Gentleman answer'd, he was sensible of his Friendship, and
left all to him.
"Well, well, _said the Miser_, come again two Hours hence, I'll see
what's to be done."
He went away, t'other barr'd the Door after him, and falls to rummaging
his Bags, and telling out the Sum to be lent to the young Gentleman:
When, on a sudden, his Doors flew open, and a Couple of Rogues bound him
in his Bed, and went off laden with Baggs. Soon after, a meagre Servant
comes in, and unbinds him; he tears his Hair, raves, stamps, and has all
the Gestures of a Madman; he sends the Servant out, takes a Halter,
throws it over a Beam, and going to hang himself, vanishes.
Soon after, he appeared again with Officers, who hurry the young
Gentleman to Goal. He follows him, gets his Estate made over to him, and
then sets his Prisoner at Liberty: The Scene of the Goal vanishes, and
he's in a noble Mansion-Seat with the young Gentleman in Rags, who gives
him Possession, and receives a Trifle from him for that Consideration.
He turns away all the Servants, and in a Palace he is alone roasting an
Egg over a Handful of Fire for his Dinner. His Son comes in, as he is by
himself, goes to murder him, and he vanishes again. He returns to our
Sight, digging in his Garden, and hiding Money, for Soldiers appear in
the neighbouring Village: He has scarce buried it, when they rifle his
House; this makes us lose him again for a little Space. His Coachman
comes to him, tells him his Son is kill'd; he answers,
"No matter, he was a great Expence, I shall save at least Forty
Pounds a Year by his Death, it's a good Legacy, _Tom_."
He tells him a Lord offer'd him Five Hundred Pounds to carry off his
young Lady, but that he refused it, and thought himself obliged to
acquaint him with his Lordship's Design.
"You are a Fool, _replies the old Man_; take the Money, I'll consent,
we'll snack it--Quit of another. My Lord shan't have a Groat with
her. What a Charge are Children! This Lord is the best Friend I have,
to take her off my Hands. To be sure bring the Money, carry her to
my Lord, and bring the Money; go take Time by the Fore-lock, he may
recant, then so much Money's lost. Go, run to my Lord, tell him
you'll do it."
Here he thrust the Fellow out, and appear'd with a smiling Countenance.
A Man comes in, and tells him the Exchequer is shut up, Stocks are
fallen, a War declar'd, and a new Tax laid on Land; he beats his Breast,
groans aloud, and vanishes.
"By this Wretch, _said Abrahijo_, you see the Care and Anxiety wait
on the Miserable. The Love of Gold in him has extinguish'd Nature;
nay, it predominates over Self-love; for he hastens his End, by not
allowing his Body either Rest, or sufficient Nourishment, only that
he may encrease the Number of his Coffers."
Another Shade appear'd with a great Crowd of People, huzzaing, a
_Venditor_, a _Venditor_; he goes before them, steps into every Shop,
enquires after the Health of each Family, kisses the Wives, and out of
his thrusts Gold into their Mouths. Here he bows to a Tinker, there
embraces a Cobler, shakes a Scavinger by the Hand, stands bare-headed,
and compliments an Ale-Wife, invites a Score of Shoemakers, Taylors,
Pedlars, Weavers, and Hostlers, to do him the Honour of their Company
to Dinner.
The Scene changes; he's at Court, the Ministers repay him his servile
Cringes by theirs; one comes up to him, and says, he hopes, when the
Bill comes into the House, he will favour him with his Vote for its
passing: He answers, he shall discharge the Trust reposed in him, like a
Man of Honour, in forwarding what is for the Good of his Country, and
opposing the contrary, tho' the Consequence were his own Ruin: That he
begg'd his Lordship's Pardon, if he dissented from him in Opinion, and
did not think what he required warrantable in a Man of Honour.
"You are not well inform'd, _replied the Nobleman_, but we'll talk of
that another Day, when I hope I shall convince you, that you did not
well understand me; my present Business is to wish you Joy,
_Courvite_'s Regiment is vacant, and tho' you have never serv'd,
your personal Bravery and good Conduct in the Senate have spoke so
much in your behalf, that you will to morrow have the Commission
sent you."
"My Lord, _replied the Patriot_, this is an unexpected favour, and I
am satisfied I owe it to your Lordship's Goodness. I hope an
Opportunity to speak my Gratitude, will present it self; in the mean
while count upon me, in whatever I can serve your Interest."
At these Words, with a visible Joy in his Looks, he vanish'd.
Three dirty Mechanicks appeared in a Shoemaker's Shop, who was a
Dreamer. He was declaiming to his Companions over a Pot of Beer, after
the following Manner.
"Look ye, Neighbours, there's an old Proverb says, _It is not the
Hood which makes the Monk_; the being born a Gentleman does not make
a Man of Sense; and the being bred a Tradesman, does not deprive us
of it; for how many great Men have leap'd from the Shop-board,
sprung up from the Stall, and have, by patching and heel-piecing
Religion and the State, made their Names famous to After-Ages? I can
name many, but I shall mention only _John_ of _Leyden_. Now, I see
no Reason, why Meanness of Birth should be an Obstacle to Merit, and
I am resolved, as I find a great many Things which ought to be
redress'd both in Church and State, if you my Friends will stand by
me, to aim at the setting both upright: For you must own, they are
basely trod awry. Trade is dead, Money is scarce, the Parsons are
proud, rich and lazy; War is necessary for the Circulation of Money;
and an honest Man may starve in these Times of Peace and Beggary.
"There are a great many Mysteries in Religion, which, as we don't
know what to make of them, are altogether unnecessary, and ought to
be laid aside, as well as a great many Ceremonies, which ought to be
lopp'd off for being chargeable."
The rest gave their assenting Nod, and seem'd to wonder at, and applaud
his Eloquency. In a Moment, I saw him preaching to a Mobb against the
Luxury of the Age, and telling them it shew'd a Meanness of Spirit to
want Necessaries, while the Gentry, by force of long Usurpations on
their Rights, rioted in all manner of Excess. That Providence brought
none into the World that he might starve; but that all on Earth had a
Right to what was necessary to their Support, which they ought to sieze,
since the Rich refus'd to share with them. From a Preacher I saw him a
Captain of a Rabble, plundering the Houses of the Nobility, was terrible
to all; and tho' he declared for levelling, would be serv'd with the
Pomp and Delicacy of a Prince; marries his Daughters to Lords, hoards
an immense Treasure, and wakes from his golden Dream.
Another Shade I saw suborning Witnesses, giving them Instructions what
to swear, packing Juries, banishing, hanging and beheading all his
Enemies, sending immense Sums to foreign Courts, to support his Power at
Home, bribing Senates, and carrying all before him without Controul,
when he vanish'd. My _English_ Friend told me, that Soul belong'd to the
Body of a Money-Scrivener, who almost crack'd his Brain with Politicks,
and thought of nothing less than being a prime Minister. I knew him
while I was in the World; his whole Discourse always ran on Liberty,
Trade, Free Elections, _&c._ and constantly inveigh'd against all
corrupt and self-interested Practices. I saw Persons descended from the
ancient Nobility fawning on Valets who were arrived to great Preferment
for Pimping; I beheld others contriving Schemes, to bring their Wives
and Daughters into the Company of Persons in Power, and aiming to
gain Preferment for themselves, at the Expence of the Vertue of their
Families; nor was there a Vice, a Folly or a Baseness, practised in this
World below, tho' ever so secret, which I did not see there represented,
the Particulars of which being too long for this Place, I must beg Leave
to refer them to the Second Volume of my Voyages.
In the mean time I was allow'd a Week to satisfy my Curiosity, and make
my Observations on all the strange things which were there to be seen,
which I may justly reckon the most agreeable Part of my whole Life; and
also a further Time to refresh my self: Which being done, we prepared
for our Journey, being provided with all things necessary for that
Purpose.
As I found in my self that longing Desire (which is natural to all Men,
who have been long absent from Home) of returning to see my own Country;
and being besides unwilling to go back to _Cacklogallinia_, the Actions
and Designs of the first Minister, to which I was privy, having made
such Impressions upon me, that I was prejudic'd against their whole
Nation; nor was that Prejudice remov'd, by being acquainted with their
Laws, Customs and Manners, some of which appeared to me unreasonable,
and others barbarous.
I say, upon the aforesaid Considerations, I apply'd my self to some of
the _Selenites_, whose Courtesy I had already experienced, asking them,
whether they could direct me to find out some Part of the Terrestrial
World, known and frequented to by _Europeans_: They were so good to give
me full and plain Instructions what Course to steer thro' the Air for
that Purpose, which I was very well able to follow, having a Pocket
Compass about me, which I brought from _England_, it having long been
my Custom never to stir any where without one.
It being necessary to bring _Volatilio_ into the Design, I went to him
and told him, that as we were so unfortunate not to succeed in finding
out the Country of Gold, it would be adviseable to return home some
other Way, in hopes of better Success in going back; otherwise we might,
in all Probability, meet with a disagreeable Welcome from the Emperor
and the whole Court. _Volatilio_ hearken'd to these Reasons, and besides
having the true Spirit of a Projector in him, which is, not to be
discouraged at Disappointments, he consented to my Proposal.
Accordingly we set out, and after some Days travelling, we meeting with
little or nothing in our Journey differing from our former, we lighted
safely upon the _Blue Mountain_ in _Jamaica_. Here I was within my own
Knowledge; for having formerly made several Voyages to _Jamaica_, was no
Stranger to the Place.
Now therefore I thought it time to acquaint the _Cacklogallinians_
with the innocent Fraud I had put upon them; they seem'd frighted and
surprized, as not knowing how to get home to their own Country: For
_Volatilio_ apear'd to be quite out of his Element. However, I directed
them which Way to steer, which was directly Southward; and having rested
for some time, they took their Leave of me, and _Volatilio_, with his
_Palanquineers_, began their Flight, as I had directed them, and I never
saw them more.
As for my Part, I made the best of my Way to _Kingston_, where coming
acquainted with one Captain _Madden_, Commander of the _London Frigate_,
he was so kind, upon hearing my Story, to offer to give me my Passage
_gratis_, with whom having embark'd at _Port Royal_, I reach'd my native
Country, after a Passage of Nine Weeks.
_FINIS._
* * * * *
Thranscriber's note: The following corrections were made:
p. xi
retold by Firdausi in the _Shaknameh_, of Kavi Usan
_spelling as in original, but no comma_
p. 28
Latitude of ---- Degrees North
_original has blank space_
p. 73-77
He put several into my Hands _to end of chapter_
_original has entire text in one paragraph_
p. 75
is altogether vain
_original reads_ altoherget
p. 78
allured to...
_not an error_
p. 84
and new Disputes
_original reads_ and and new...
the poor Clergy (for they are not all rich,
_original reads_ are not all rich) _with extra parenthesis_
p. 87
It is, true there is a Council
_comma in original_
p. 119
Shares sold of the Treasure
_original reads_ Teasure
p. 135
Julip and Jonquil
_so in original_: Tulip?
p. 138 end
...and view the Country.
_original has comma at end of paragraph_
p. 144
Affiability and Gravity
_spelling as in original_
p. 147
I went with them...
_original has paragraph in quotation marks_
p. 151
I repeated...
_original has beginning of paragraph in quotation marks_
p. 152
...to assist me." He told me...
_original continues quotation marks to end of paragraph_
p. 158
Goal (twice)
_spelling as in original_ (Gaol)
p. 161
_Courvite_'s Regiment
_original has_ Reigment ]
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