Sorry: Wrong Dimension

By Ross Rocklynne

The Project Gutenberg EBook of Sorry: Wrong Dimension, by Ross Rocklynne

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org


Title: Sorry: Wrong Dimension

Author: Ross Rocklynne

Release Date: August 5, 2009 [EBook #29620]

Language: English


*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SORRY: WRONG DIMENSION ***




Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online
Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net









 SORRY:
      Wrong Dimension

 BY ROSS ROCKLYNNE


 _So the baby had a pet monster. And so nobody but
 baby could see it. And so a couple of men dropped
 out of thin air to check and see if the monster
 was licensed or not. So what's strange about that?_


Baby didn't cry all day, because he had a monster for a playmate. But I
didn't know he had a playmate, and much less did I know it was a
monster. The honest truth is that for the first time since baby was
born, I had my nerves under control, and I didn't dare investigate why
he wasn't crying. I got all the ironing done--all of it, mind you--and I
got Harry's work-clothes mended and I also read three installments of a
Saturday Evening Post serial I'd been saving. And besides this Mabel, my
neighbor, and I had a couple or three cups of coffee. We also had a
giggling fit. I remember once we went off into hysterics at the picture
of ourselves we had--two haggard old wrecks of women, worn out at
twenty-three from too much work around the house. "But thank Heavens
baby hasn't cried all day!" I gurgled when we came out of it.

"Neither has mine," said Mabel, who isn't due for six months.

"Mabel, honest, you kill me," I said, "and excuse me while I comb my
messy hair--because I'm _not_ a wreck. Harry said so. He says I'm still
the best hunk of female pulchritude he's met since high school--and
we've been married two years!"

       *       *       *       *       *

I went into the bathroom leaving Mabel choking hysterically behind me.
When I came out of the bathroom, she was hysterical but in a different
way. She'd discovered why Harry, Jr., wasn't crying. She'd been in the
nursery. Her face was white as an egg-shell.

"He's playing with something," she chattered. "It's _alive_. I heard it
cooing back."

I ran three steps to baby's crib ... one on the corner of Little Jack
Horner, one on the sheep of Little Bo Peep, one on the cupboard of Old
Mother Hubbard. "Baby!" I almost screamed. But baby cooed and gurgled
and laughed and rocked back and forth on his diapers. He was playing
with his teething ring, but something was trying to jerk the teething
ring out of his hands. And baby liked it.

[Illustration]

Baby lost his hold on the teething ring, and fell on his back. The
teething ring stayed up in the air and then by itself moved toward
baby's waving hands and let him get a hold of it.

Mabel screeched through her teeth, "Baby's got it, the monster's got it,
now baby's got it!" She began to collapse.

"Don't faint," I snapped, "and don't let's play tennis." I was shaking.
I reached into the crib. My hands closed around something that put
ice-water in my vertebrae. It _was_ a monster.

"It's got fur!" I whispered. I felt some more. "And clammy scales!" I
lifted it out of the crib. "And a trunk!" I was determined to save baby.
Baby cried!

       *       *       *       *       *

We got some chairs and sat there for ten minutes close together while
baby played with the invisible monster. "I don't know what to do!" I
said. "It's alive. Maybe it's poisonous. But it's friendly. Maybe it's
another baby!"

"From another dimension," said Mabel.

"Rot," I said; I think I picked that up from the detective in the
Saturday Evening Post serial. "Let's keep our heads."

"If baby keeps his," said my friend Mabel.

That got me. "I've got to call Harry," I chattered. "They don't like him
to be called at work, but I've got to call him."

"You'll just worry him," said Mabel. "Call the police."

"No!" I said. I felt like crying myself. Baby was so happy. Maybe the
baby monster was happy, too. The police would do something awful to it.
But what about my maternal instinct? Something told me I simply had to
save my baby! "I've _got_ to call Harry," I insisted, and I went to the
'phone.

The dial tone sounded peculiar, I remember, but I called Harry's place
of employment. A brisk female voice cut in:

"What number are you calling, please?"

"CHarlemont 7-890," I whispered.

"Sorry. You must have the wrong dimension." There was a click as she
disconnected. I sat like a statue. A haggard statue with a greasy
housedress on. A statue that hadn't plucked its eyebrows in two months.
I had a lot of nerve. I was a bad mother, and a poor mistress. And I had
a swell husband, who could lie like a trooper. I wasn't any good, I was
ugly, I was greasy. I cried. "Mabel," I choked.

It took her a while to get it out of me, and then her blue eyes flashed.
"I told you!" she cried. "From another dimension!" In her broken-down
green wedgies she clattered toward the door. I heard her fighting it.
She couldn't get it open. Then she tried a window. It opened, but she
couldn't stick her hand out. She flung herself around.

"Stella," she said, with a quiver of that good-looking short upper lip
of hers, "we're trapped in. We're in the middle of some kind of fantasy.
It's a crazy world we're living in, Stella. A-bombs and H-bombs and
flying saucers and space-flight--it's all the fiction stuff coming true.
Now we're lost in some other dimension, and I have to get dinner in the
oven."

"Please," I mumbled. "Let's don't get desperate about the wrong things."
I tried all the doors and windows in the house, and it was true. We were
trapped in. There was some barrier surrounding the house. There wasn't
anything to see outside except a kind of grey steam.

We went back to check on baby. He was still playing with the monster. I
bent over the crib and held a fluffy, fifty-cent toy bear out. The baby
monster took it invisibly out of my hand. He shoved it at baby. Baby
squealed so darned happily. And I began to get some perspective.

"Suspicion is wrong," I told Mabel. "All the time. That's what that
article we read a couple months ago in _Your World_ said. Remember you
and I decided we'd never be suspicious. Maybe that's the reason we're
happy--if dirty. We don't suspect anybody of anything if we can help
it--and now's no time to start. The monster is baby's friend."

       *       *       *       *       *

Mabel shuddered. "Okay," she said. "But I'm still worried about getting
dinner in the oven. Bill's liable to--"

"Hah, now you're being suspicious," I said, lousy with virtue. "Quit
worrying. I'm going to call Harry again." This time I was a lot calmer.
I decided to trust the universe a little more. I dialed Harry's number
again. A scratchy male voice answered:

"Sorry, dis dimension is in use. Would ya please get off da line?"

I dug a few trenches and established a line of fire.

"Listen," I said. "I'm in trouble."

"A dame," he said wonderingly.

"Yeah, a dame," I cried. "What's so unusual about a dame? Why does every
male in Kingdom Come get that note in his voice when he talks with a
dame? Sure I'm a dame, a good-looking dame! I'd like to punch you in the
eye to prove it!"

He laughed. He must have turned away from the 'phone. "It's a dame."

"Okay, find out what she wants."

"Spill it," he said into the 'phone. I spilled it. "What's that address
again?" he asked. I told him. "Naw, naw," he said impatiently. "The
planet. The _planet_. And the year." I told him.

He must have turned away from the 'phone again, because I heard him say
off-stage, "They're only ten years away." I was numb. He came back on
the line. "And what's dis about a baby monster? Fur? Scales? A trunk?
The size of Harry, Jr.? Ma'am, we'll be there in a jiff," and he hung
up.

Mabel was nervously hanging on my ear, but I didn't get a chance to
answer her questions. The door in the living room opened and they walked
in.

For a second I saw a ship that looked like a cake-pan, hanging in the
grey steam. Then they closed the door and grinned at us. Instinctively,
Mabel and I tried to shrink our bust-lines.

"Hello," said the tall one. He scratched at his hairy chest and grinned
wider. He was carrying a piece of machinery that looked like a camera on
a tripod. "Lemme introduce myself," he said. "Jake Comstock. We come
over to do you dames a favor. We'll kick you back where you belong."

"Yeah," I said, "I'll bet."

"And this here is Beany Rocine. He's my partner. We--uh--work together."

"Hi dere," said Beany. "Where's da monster?"

"Introductions," said Jake, casting him a hard look. "Manners."

So I introduced us. "I'm Mrs. Weaver," I said. "And this is my neighbor,
Mrs. Aspectia."

"Pleased ta meetcha, girls," grinned Jake. "You, Blondie," he was
looking at me, "you must be the one talked on the 'phone. I liked the
way you handled Beany. Real cute." He dropped the tripod thing in a
corner, and sidled toward me. "Now where's this monster?" he asked,
slipping his hand around my bare arm and grinning down at me.

       *       *       *       *       *

I knew better than to play rough, so I just looked down at his hand, and
didn't stop looking at it until he took it away. He lost a lot of his
grin. "So where is it?" he said, his voice turning hard and unpleasant.

"Don't worry about that," I said. "Matter of fact, I'm getting so the
monster doesn't worry me. He's been playing with baby all day and baby
hasn't objected. The main thing I'd like you gentlemen to do for us is
to get busy moving us back to our own dimension."

"That's right," said Mabel, her hands on her hips. "And let us know
right now what the charges are going to be, if any."

"No charge," said the runt Beany, staring fascinated at her legs. "'Cept
we're taking da monster wit' us. Real expensive, them monsters. Drinkos,
they're called. Dey get lost in da dimensions now and then. Picked one
up on Pluto fifty years or so acome--or ago."

"Ago?" I said.

"Acome," he corrected.

"Listen," I said, making up my mind. "You can't have the monster. He's
kept baby happy all day. But I'll tell you what I'll do. Tell me what he
eats and what to do for him and I'll keep him. I've got twenty-five
dollars in poker winnings you can have. Okay--Jake?"

Jake broke out laughing. "You kids are terrific," he said. "You don't
know what the score is. You're cute!"

"Thanks," I said bitterly. "You restore my confidence. I feel myself
blooming under your hungry gaze."

"Those Drinkos are worth a couple million credits, is what I'm getting
at, and you offer us a stinkin' twenty-five dollars. Tell you what,
Blondie." He winked at me. "You kids are over-worked. One look and you
can tell that. Well, Beany and me have got a little cabin up on
Dimension-L, cut off from everything. The four of us can go there and
have a fine old time. We could stay there a month, and still get you
back here in time to kiss your husbands when they get in from work.
Whaddya say, Blondie? And you can keep the Drinko!"

"We are accepting no propositions this week," said Mabel with dignity.

"Ah-h, a coupla kill-joys," growled Beany, wandering off toward the
hall.

Mabel looked at me and then picked up a vase off the mantle over the
fire-place. I gave her the nod. "Stay away from that Drinko," she warned
Beany, "or I'll let you have it."

Beany was annoyed. He stopped, looking imploringly at Jake. Jake giggled
as if the whole thing tickled his sense of humor, and walked cat-footed
toward Mabel. She let go the vase with a right-handed swing. He had his
right arm out stiff in front of him, though, and the vase shied off and
smashed against the television set. Then he grabbed Mabel in a bear hug.

That set me off. I had a yearning for Harry, then. He would have laid
these mugs out. And that's all they were--mugs, cheap crooks. I hopped
on one leg, yanking off one of my oxfords. I brought the heel down on
Jake's curly head. But it didn't do a thing for him, except make him
mad. He brought his arm back, cursing at me. It caught me on my
lipstick. I remember being surprised that he was actually knocking me
out. But that's what he did.

       *       *       *       *       *

When I woke up, the first thing I knew was that Harry, Jr., was
screaming. I groggily stood up, and stepped over Mabel, who was just
beginning to moan. I went to the nursery and grabbed up my baby. "Don't
cry," I begged him. "Don't be mad. I'll get your Drinko back. Those
dirty thieves, I'll get it back." I held him under one arm, his pants
dripping. I think I looked like a Pekinese, with my hair over my eyes. I
went to the 'phone, dialed Harry's number, and got the same routine.

"I _don't_ have the wrong dimension," I cried before the operator could
hang up. "This is an emergency. A couple of crooks stole my Drinko.
Please get me the dimension-police."

"You have a Drinko?" the operator asked cautiously. "There must be some
mistake. You are calling from Earth? From 1954? I am sorry. Congress
ruled Earth 1954 could not be connected with the dimension-system. It
would be impossible for you to own a Drinko."

"Some crooks from 1964 stole my Drinko!" I insisted.

"One moment, please. The Supervisor informs me this is an unauthorized
call. It will be necessary to conduct a police investigation." There
were clickings, there were buzzings, there were groups of fuzzy, far-off
voices, and finally the police came in.

"A couple of crooks stole my baby's Drinko!" I repeated loudly. "I
demand my rights as a dimension-citizen!"

"Two thieves confiscated your Drinko," a dry voice said. "Very well.
Describe them, please. Describe characteristic phrases, expressions, and
voice-intonations also." I described them. "Very good. Did you say Earth
1954? Excellent. Only a matter of six dimensions and thirty years. We
shall investigate immediately." He hung up.

"Hi, Stella," said Mabel, up on one elbow and looking fuzzily at me.
"You think I'll get out of this in time to get Bill's dinner in the
oven? Bill's so darned touchy about dinner."

"Teach him a lesson, then," I snapped, disgusted with her, and running
to the door, because somebody was knocking there. "Train him. Disappoint
him. Break his pattern. Don't have dinner. Good evening, gentlemen," I
said as I opened the door. The police came in. They had Beany. They had
Jake.

       *       *       *       *       *

There were three police. The one in front, a young, nice-looking one,
touched his cap and smiled quietly. "Here's your Drinko, ma'am," he
said, but I already knew the Drinko was back. Harry, Jr., stopped
crying. He gurgled happily. Somehow, I was willing to bet, he could see
the Drinko. I put him on the floor and the policeman put the Drinko on
the floor. It was beautiful, those squeals that came from my baby. The
young policeman smiled again, a quiet, tanned smile.

"We want to thank you, ma'am. These two are the worst criminals in the
dimension-system. I want you to know you may have the Drinko as a reward
for your part in apprehending them. Also, I wish to say that I admire
you for your trippo in pretending to be a dimension-citizen, when, of
course, you are not."

"Trippo?"

"Spunk, if you prefer."

"Well, I had to get my baby's Drinko back," I said.

"Naturally," he smiled. "Drinkos make wonderful pets. The day may come
when Earth 1954 will be connected with dimension-system--and then more
Drinkos will be available."

"Can't we," I asked, "just stay alone in our quiet nook of space?"

"My thought, too," said Mabel, getting to her feet at last and throwing
her hair back. "And is there any chance of getting out of here? It's
exciting, thrilling, and romantic, but Bill still has to eat."

"Immediately, Madam! It is merely a matter of disengaging the
chrono-beam, which happened to become tangled, in space-time, with the
gravitonic structure of the neutronic chrono-field."

"Well!" said Mabel. "That explains it! And so clearly!"

They set up an instrument that looked like the one Jake and Beany had.
They sighted along the diagonals of the room and pressed buttons. Then
they opened the door. "In two minutes, ma'am," the smiling cop said.
"Good day. It is my hope that we shall meet again." They disappeared out
the door. Sure enough, there was a cake-pan ship hanging in the grey
steam. They piled into it and the ship moved off, wobbling, until I
couldn't see it any more.

A minute later, the grey steam melted away and so did Mabel.

Harry came home on schedule. "Baby has hardly cried all day!" I told him
happily. "What a relief! I got a lot of your old clothes mended and I
read three installments of the Saturday Evening Post serial."

"Fine!" said Harry, looking around. "What else happened?"

"Not much," I said, deciding to break it to him gradually. "Except we've
got a Drinko." I took him into the nursery. Baby was sound asleep. I
supposed the Drinko was, too. "There he is," I said, pointing to the
depression at the foot of the crib. "That's the Drinko." I told Harry
the whole story. He listened with a straight face.

"Well!" he said. "What thrilling adventures you have. Tell me, isn't
this sort of thing sometimes too exciting?"

"Not at all," I said, deciding to feed his stomach before I really tried
to convince him. "It all comes under the heading of the drab, routine
duties of a housewife. Come on now, dinner's ready."




Transcriber's Note:

    This etext was produced from _Amazing Stories_ March 1954. Extensive
    research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on
    this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and typographical
    errors have been corrected without note.





End of Project Gutenberg's Sorry: Wrong Dimension, by Ross Rocklynne

*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SORRY: WRONG DIMENSION ***

***** This file should be named 29620.txt or 29620.zip *****
This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
        https://www.gutenberg.org/2/9/6/2/29620/

Produced by Greg Weeks, Stephen Blundell and the Online
Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net


Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
will be renamed.

Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
permission and without paying copyright royalties.  Special rules,
set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark.  Project
Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission.  If you
do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
rules is very easy.  You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
research.  They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks.  Redistribution is
subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
redistribution.



*** START: FULL LICENSE ***

THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK

To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
https://gutenberg.org/license).


Section 1.  General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic works

1.A.  By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
(trademark/copyright) agreement.  If you do not agree to abide by all
the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.

1.B.  "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark.  It may only be
used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement.  There are a few
things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
even without complying with the full terms of this agreement.  See
paragraph 1.C below.  There are a lot of things you can do with Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works.  See paragraph 1.E below.

1.C.  The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic works.  Nearly all the individual works in the
collection are in the public domain in the United States.  If an
individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
are removed.  Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
the work.  You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.

1.D.  The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
what you can do with this work.  Copyright laws in most countries are in
a constant state of change.  If you are outside the United States, check
the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
Gutenberg-tm work.  The Foundation makes no representations concerning
the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
States.

1.E.  Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:

1.E.1.  The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
copied or distributed:

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

1.E.2.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
or charges.  If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
1.E.9.

1.E.3.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
terms imposed by the copyright holder.  Additional terms will be linked
to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.

1.E.4.  Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.

1.E.5.  Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
Gutenberg-tm License.

1.E.6.  You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
word processing or hypertext form.  However, if you provide access to or
distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
form.  Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.

1.E.7.  Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.8.  You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
that

- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
     the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
     you already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  The fee is
     owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
     has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
     Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.  Royalty payments
     must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
     prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
     returns.  Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
     sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
     address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
     the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."

- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
     you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
     does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
     License.  You must require such a user to return or
     destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
     and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
     Project Gutenberg-tm works.

- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
     money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
     electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
     of receipt of the work.

- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
     distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.

1.E.9.  If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark.  Contact the
Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.

1.F.

1.F.1.  Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
collection.  Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
your equipment.

1.F.2.  LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
fees.  YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3.  YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
DAMAGE.

1.F.3.  LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
written explanation to the person you received the work from.  If you
received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
your written explanation.  The person or entity that provided you with
the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
refund.  If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund.  If the second copy
is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
opportunities to fix the problem.

1.F.4.  Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER
WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.

1.F.5.  Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
the applicable state law.  The invalidity or unenforceability of any
provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.

1.F.6.  INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.


Section  2.  Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm

Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers.  It exists
because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
people in all walks of life.

Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
remain freely available for generations to come.  In 2001, the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
and the Foundation web page at https://www.pglaf.org.


Section 3.  Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
Foundation

The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
Revenue Service.  The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
number is 64-6221541.  Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at
https://pglaf.org/fundraising.  Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.

The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
throughout numerous locations.  Its business office is located at
809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
[email protected].  Email contact links and up to date contact
information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official
page at https://pglaf.org

For additional contact information:
     Dr. Gregory B. Newby
     Chief Executive and Director
     [email protected]


Section 4.  Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
Literary Archive Foundation

Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
array of equipment including outdated equipment.  Many small donations
($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
status with the IRS.

The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
States.  Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
with these requirements.  We do not solicit donations in locations
where we have not received written confirmation of compliance.  To
SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
particular state visit https://pglaf.org

While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
approach us with offers to donate.

International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
outside the United States.  U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.

Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
methods and addresses.  Donations are accepted in a number of other
ways including including checks, online payments and credit card
donations.  To donate, please visit: https://pglaf.org/donate


Section 5.  General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works.

Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
with anyone.  For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.


Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we do not necessarily
keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.


Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:

     https://www.gutenberg.org

This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.