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Title: The young immigrunts
Author: Ring Lardner
Release date: April 18, 2026 [eBook #78483]
Language: English
Original publication: Indianapolis: The Bobbs-Merrill Company, 1920
Other information and formats: www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/78483
Credits: Bob Taylor, Tim Miller and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at https://www.pgdp.net (This file was produced from images generously made available by The Internet Archive)
*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS ***
THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS
[Illustration:
_Art studios
Main St._
_Stiegleman Bros._
_The Author—“Bill”_]
The
Young Immigrunts
_By_
RING W. LARDNER, JR.
WITH A PREFACE BY
THE FATHER
_Portraits by Gaar Williams_
INDIANAPOLIS
THE BOBBS-MERRILL COMPANY
PUBLISHERS
COPYRIGHT 1920
THE CURTIS PUBLISHING COMPANY
COPYRIGHT 1920
THE BOBBS-MERRILL COMPANY
_Printed in the United States of America_
PRESS OF
BRAUNWORTH & CO.
BOOK MANUFACTURERS
BROOKLYN, N. Y.
CONTENTS
CHAPTER PAGE
PREFACE BY THE FATHER ix
1 MY PARENTS 13
2 STARTING GAILY 19
3 ERIE LAKE 29
4 BUFFALO TO ROCHESTER 76.4 39
5 MY FATHER’S IDEAR 44
6 SYRACUSE TO HUDSON 183.2 50
7 HUDSON 63
8 HUDSON TO YONKERS 106.5 71
9 THE BUREAU OF MANHATTAN 76
10 N. Y. TO GRENITCH 500.0 78
11 HOW IT ENDED 82
[Illustration:
9¼
MILES
PIANOS
GENESEE
STREET
]
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS
PAGE
The Author _Frontispiece_
The Rest of the Family 15
Granmother at Goshen 21
Uncle Bill 25
Uncle and Ant in Detroit 31
The Bride and Glum 35
The Man with the Adams Apple 41
The Dirty Mechanic 47
Dr. and Mrs. Heywood 53
The Policeman at Albany 59
A Man of 12 Years 65
The Lanlady 69
The Policeman at New Rochelle 79
Our nurse 83
[Illustration:
CITY LIMITS
SPEED
NINE (9) MILES
]
PREFACE
The person whose name is signed to this novel was born on the
nineteenth day of August, 1915, and was therefore four years and three
months old when the manuscript was found, late in November, 1919. The
narrative is substantially true, with the following exceptions:
1. “My Father,” the leading character in the work, is depicted as a
man of short temper, whereas the person from whom the character was
drawn is in reality as pleasant a fellow as one would care to meet
and seldom has a cross word for any one, let alone women and children.
2. The witty speeches accredited to “My Father” have, possibly owing
to the limitations of a child’s memory, been so garbled and twisted
that they do not look half so good in print as they sounded in the
open air.
3. More stops for gas were made than are mentioned in the story.
As the original manuscript was written on a typewriter with a rather
frayed ribbon, and as certain words were marked out and others
hand-written in, I have taken the liberty of copying the entire
work with a fresh ribbon and the inclusion of the changes which the
author indicated in pencil in the first draft. Otherwise the story is
presented to the reader exactly as it was first set down.
THE FATHER.
THE YOUNG IMMIGRUNTS
[Illustration: FREE AIR
GAS]
The Young Immigrunts
CHAPTER 1
My Parents
My parents are both married and ½ of them are very good looking. The
balance is tall and skiny and has a swarty complexion with moles but
you hardily ever notice them on account of your gaze being rapped up
in his feet which would be funny if brevvity wasnt the soul of wit.
Everybody says I have his eyes and I am glad it didnt half to be
something else tho Rollie Zeider the ball player calls him owl eyes for
a nick name but if I was Rollie Zeider and his nose I wouldnt pick on
somebodys else features.
He wears pretty shirts which he bought off of another old ball player
Artie Hofman to attrack tension off of his feet and must of payed a big
price for them I heard my ant tell my uncle when they thorght I was a
sleep down to the lake tho I guess he pays even more for his shoes if
they sell them by the frunt foot.
I was born in a hospittle in Chicago 4 years ago and liked it very much
and had no idear we were going to move till 1 day last summer I heard
my mother arsk our nurse did she think she could get along O. K. with
myself and 3 brothers John Jimmie and David for 10 days wilst she and
my old man went east to look for a costly home.
[Illustration: _The Rest of the Family_]
Well yes said our nurse barshfully.
I may as well exclaim to the reader that John is 7 and Jimmie is 5 and
I am 4 and David is almost nothing as yet you might say and tho I was
named for my father they call me Bill thank God.
The conversation amungst my mother and our nurse took place right after
my father came back from Toledo where Jack Dempsey knocked Jessie
Willard for a gool tho my father liked the big fellow and bet on him.
David was in his bath at the time and my mother and our nurse and
myself and 2 elder brothers was standing around admireing him tho I
notice that when the rest of the family takes their bath they dont make
open house of the occassion.
Well my parents went east and dureing their absents myself and brothers
razed hell with David on the night shift but when they come back my
mother said to the nurse were they good boys.
Fine replid our nurse lamely and where are you going to live.
Connecticut said my mother.
Our nurse forced a tired smile.
Here we will leave my parents to unpack and end this chapter.
CHAPTER 2
Starting Gaily
We spent the rest of the summer on my granmother in Indiana and my
father finley went to the worst series to write it up as he has
followed sports of all sorts for years and is a expert so he bet on the
wite sox and when he come home he acted rarther cross.
Well said my mother simperingly I suppose we can start east now.
We will start east when we get good and ready said my father with a
lordly sneeze.
The next thing was how was we going to make the trip as my father had
boughten a new car that the cheepest way to get it there was drive it
besides carrying a grate deal of our costly bagage but if all of us
went in it they would be no room left for our costly bagage and besides
2 of my brothers always acts like devils incarnite when they get in a
car so my mother said to our nurse.
If you think you can manage the 2 older boys and David on the train
myself and husband will take Bill in the car said my mother to our
nurse.
Fine replid our nurse with a gastly look witch my mother did not see.
[Illustration: _Grandmother at Goshen_]
Myself and parents left Goshen Indiana on a fine Monday morning
leaveing our nurse and brothers to come latter in the weak on the
railway. Our plans was to reach Detroit that night and stop with my
uncle and ant and the next evening take the boat to Buffalo and
thence to Connecticut by motor so the first town we past through was
Middlebury.
Elmer Flick the old ball player use to live here said my father
modestly.
My mother forced a smile and soon we were acrost the Michigan line and
my mother made the remark that she was thirsty.
We will stop at Coldwater for lunch said my father with a strate face
as he pulls most of his lines without changeing expressions.
Sure enough we puled up to 1 side of the road just after leaveing
Coldwater and had our costly viands of frid chicken and doughnuts and
milk fernished by my grate ant and of witch I partook freely.
We will stop at Ypsilanti for supper said my father in calm tones that
is where they have the state normal school.
I was glad to hear this and hoped we would get there before dark as I
had always wanted to come in contack with normal peaple and see what
they are like and just at dusk we entered a large size town and drove
past a large size football field.
Heavens said my mother this must be a abnormal school to have such a
large football field.
My father wore a qeer look.
This is not Ypsilanti this is Ann Arbor he crid.
But I thorght you said we would go south of Ann Arbor and direct to
Ypsilanti said my mother with a smirk.
[Illustration:
GLEE CLUB
_Uncle Bill_]
I did say that but I thorght I would surprise you by comeing into Ann
Arbor replid my father with a corse jesture.
Personly I think the suprise was unanimous.
Well now we are here said my mother we might as well look up Bill.
Bill is my uncle Bill so we stoped at the Alfa Delt house and got him
and took him down to the hotel for supper and my old man called up Mr.
Yost the football coach of the Michigan football team and he come down
and visited with us.
What kind of a team have you got coach said my father lamely.
I have got a determined team replid Mr. Yost they are determined to not
play football.
At this junction my unlucky mother changed the subjeck to the league
of nations and it was 10 o’clock before Mr. Yost come to a semi colon
so we could resume our jurney and by the time we past through Ypsilanti
the peaple was not only subnormal but unconsius. It was nerly midnight
when we puled up in frunt of my ants and uncles house in Detroit that
had been seting up since 7 expecting us.
Were sorry to be so late said my mother bruskly.
Were awfully glad you could come at all replid my ant with a ill
consealed yawn.
We will now leave my relitives to get some sleep and end this chapter.
CHAPTER 3
Erie Lake
The boat leaves Detroit every afternoon at 5 oclock and reachs Buffalo
the next morning at 9 tho I would better exclaim to my readers that
when it is 9 oclock in Buffalo it is only 8 oclock in Goshen for
instants as Buffalo peaple are qeer.
Well said my father the next morning at brekfus I wander what time we
half to get the car on the board of the boat.
I will find out down town and call up and let you know replid my uncle
who is a engineer and digs soors or something.
Sure enough he called up dureing the fornoon and said the car must be
on the board of the boat at 3 oclock so my father left the house at
2 oclock and drove down to the worf tho he had never drove a car in
Detroit before but has nerves of steal. Latter my uncle come out to his
home and took myself and mother and ant down to the worf where my old
man was waiting for us haveing put the car on the board.
What have you been doing ever since 3 oclock arsked my mother as it was
now nerly 5.
Haveing a high ball my father replid.
I thorght Detroit was dry said my mother shyly.
[Illustration: _Uncle and Ant at Detroit_]
Did you said my father with a rye smile and as it was now nerly time
for the boat to leave we said good by to my uncle and ant and went
on the boat. A messenger took our costly bagage and put it away wilst
myself and parents went out on the porch and set looking at the peaple
on the worf. Suddenly they was a grate hub bub on the worf and a young
man and lady started up the gangs plank wilst a big crowd throwed rice
and old shoes at them and made a up roar.
Bride and glum going to Niagara Falls said my father who is well
travelled and seams to know everything.
Instantly the boat give a blarst on the wistle and I started with
suprise.
Did that scare you Bill said my father and seamed to enjoy it and I
supose he would of laughed out right had I fell overboard and been
drowned in the narsty river water.
Soon we were steeming up the river on the city of Detroit 3.
That is Canada over there is it not said my mother.
What did you think it was the Austrian Tyrol replid my father
explodeing a cough. Dureing our progress up the river I noticed sevral
funny things flotting in the water with lanterns hanging on them and
was wandering what they could be when my mother said they seam to have
plenty of boys.
They have got nothing on us replid my father quick as a flarsh.
A little latter who should come out on the porch and set themselfs ner
us but the bride and glum.
[Illustration: _The Bride and Glum_]
Oh I said to myself I hope they will talk so as I can hear them as I
have always wandered what newlyweds talk about on their way to Niagara
Falls and soon my wishs was realized.
Some night said the young glum are you warm enough.
I am perfectly comfertible replid the fare bride tho her looks belid
her words what time do we arive in Buffalo.
9 oclock said the lordly glum are you warm enough.
I am perfectly comfertible replid the fare bride what time do we arive
in Buffalo.
9 oclock said the lordly glum I am afrade it is too cold for you out
here.
Well maybe it is replid the fare bride and without farther adieu they
went in the spacius parlers.
I wander will he be arsking her 8 years from now is she warm enough
said my mother with a faint grimace.
The weather may change before then replid my father.
Are you warm enough said my father after a slite pause.
No was my mothers catchy reply.
Well said my father we arive in Buffalo at 9 oclock and with that we
all went inside as it was now pitch dark and had our supper and retired
and when we rose the next morning and drest and had brekfus we puled up
to the worf in Buffalo and it was 9 oclock so I will leave the city of
Detroit 3 tide to the worf and end this chapter.
CHAPTER 4
Buffalo to Rochester 76.4
As we was leaveing the boat who should I see right along side of us but
the fare bride and the lordly glum.
We are right on the dot said the glum looking at his costly watch it is
just 9 oclock and so they past out of my life.
We had to wait qite a wile wilst the old man dug up his bill of loading
and got the costly moter.
We will half to get some gas he said I wonder where they is a garage.
No sooner had the words fell from his lips when a man with a flagrant
Adams apple handed him a card with the name of a garage on it.
Go up Genesee st 5 blks and turn to the left or something said the man
with the apple.
Soon we reached the garage and had the gas tank filled with gas it was
27 cents in Buffalo and soon we was on our way to Rochester. Well these
are certainly grate roads said my father barshfully.
They have lots better roads in the east than out west replid my mother
with a knowing wink.
The roads all through the east are better than out west remarked my
father at lenth.
These are wonderfull replid my mother smuggleing me vs her arm.
[Illustration: _The Man with the Adams Apple_]
The time past quickly with my parents in so jocular a mood and all
most before I knew it we was on the outer skirts of Batavia.
What town is this quired my mother in a tolerant voice.
Batavia husked my father sloughing down to 15 miles per hour.
Well maybe we would better stop and have lunch here said my mother
coyly.
We will have lunch in Rochester replid my father with a loud cough.
My mother forced a smile and it was about ½ past 12 when we arived in
Rochester and soon we was on Genesee st and finley stoped in front of a
elegant hotel and shared a costly lunch.
CHAPTER 5
My Father’s Idear
Wilst participateing in the lordly viands my father halled out his map
and give it the up and down.
Look at here he said at lenth they seams to be a choice of 2 main roads
between here and Syracuse but 1 of them gos way up north to Oswego
wilst the other gos way south to Geneva where as Syracuse is strate
east from here you might say so it looks to me like we would save both
millage and time if we was to drive strate east through Lyons the way
the railway gos.
Well I dont want to ride on the ties said my mother with a loud cough.
Well you dont half to because they seams to be a little road that gos
strate through replid my father removeing a flys cadaver from the
costly farina.
Well you would better stick to the main roads said my mother tacklessly.
Well you would better stick to your own business replid my father with
a pungent glance.
Soon my father had payed the check and gave the waiter a lordly bribe
and once more we sprang into the machine and was on our way. The lease
said about the results of my fathers grate idear the soonest mended
in a word it turned out to be a holycost of the first water as after
we had covered miles and miles of ribald roads we suddenly come to a
abrupt conclusion vs the side of a stagnant freight train that was
stone deef to honks. My father set there for nerly ½ a hour reciteing
the 4 Horses of the Apoplex in a under tone but finley my mother
mustard up her curage and said affectedly why dont we turn around and
go back somewheres. I cant spell what my father replid.
At lenth my old man decided that Lyons wouldnt never come to Mahomet if
we set it out on the same lines all winter so we backed up and turned
around and retraced 4 miles of shell holes and finley reached our
objective by way of Detour.
Puling up in front of a garage my father beckoned to a dirty mechanic.
[Illustration: _The Dirty Mechanic_]
How do we get to Syracuse from here arsked my father blushing
furiously.
Go strate south to Geneva and then east to Syracuse replid the dirty
mechanic with a loud cough.
Isnt there no short cut arsked my father.
Go strate south to Geneva and then east to Syracuse replid the dirty
mechanic.
You see daddy we go to Geneva after all I said brokenly but luckly
for my piece of mind my father dont beleive in corporeal punishment a
specially in front of Lyons peaple.
Soon we was on a fine road and nothing more hapened till we puled into
Syracuse at 7 that evening and as for the conversation that changed
hands in the car between Lyons and Syracuse you could stick it in a day
message and send it for 30 cents.
CHAPTER 6
Syracuse to Hudson 183.2
Soon we was on Genesee st in Syracuse but soon turned off a blk or 2
and puled up in front of a hotel that I cant ether spell or pronounce
besides witch they must of been a convention of cheese sculpters or
something stoping there and any way it took the old man a hour to
weedle a parler bed room and bath out of the clerk and put up a cot for
me.
Wilst we was enjoying a late and futile supper in the hotel dinning
room a man named Duffy reckonized my father and came to our table and
arsked him to go to some boxing matchs in Syracuse that night.
Thanks very much said my father with a slite sneeze but you see what
I have got on my hands besides witch I have been driveing all day and
half to start out again erly in the morning so I guess not.
Between you and I dear reader my old man has been oposed to pugilisms
since the 4 of July holycost.
Who is that man arsked my mother when that man had gone away.
Mr. Duffy replid my father shove the ketchup over this way.
Yes I know he is Mr. Duffy but where did you meet him insisted my
mother quaintly.
In Boston my father replid where would a person meet a man named Duffy.
When we got up the next morning it was 6 o’clock and purring rain but
we eat a costly brekfus and my father said we would save time if we
would all walk down to the garage where he had borded the car witch he
stated was only 2 short blks away from the hotel. Well if it was only
2 short blks why peaple that lives next door to each other in Syracuse
are by no means neighbors and when we got there the entire party was
soping wet and rarther rabid.
We will all catch our death of cold chuckled my mother.
What of it explained my old man with a dirty look at the sky.
Maybe we would better put up the curtains sugested my mother smirking.
Maybe we wouldnt too said my father cordialy.
[Illustration: _Dr. and Mrs. Heywood and the Closed Car._]
Well maybe it will clear up said my mother convulsively.
Maybe it wont too replid my father as he capered into the drivers seat.
My father is charming company wilst driveing on strange roads through a
purring rain and even when we past through Oneida and he pronounced it
like it was a biscuit neither myself or my mother ventured to correct
him but finley we reached Utica when we got to witch we puled up along
side the kerb and got out and rang ourselfs out to a small extent when
suddenly a closed car sored past us on the left.
Why that was Mrs. Heywood in that car explained my mother with a
fierce jesture. By this time it was not raining and we got back into
the car and presently over took the closed car witch stoped when they
reckonized us.
And witch boy is this quired Mrs. Heywood when the usual compliments
had been changed.
This is the third he is named for his father replid my mother forceing
a smile.
He has his eyes was the comment.
Bill dont you remember Mrs. Heywood said my mother turning on me she
use to live in Riverside and Dr. Heywood tended to you that time you
had that slite atack of obesity.
Well yes I replid with a slite accent but did not add how rotten the
medicine tasted that time and soon we was on Genesee st on our way out
of Utica.
I wander why they dont name some of their sts Genesee in these eastren
towns said my father for the sun was now shining but no sooner had we
reached Herkimer when the clouds bersed with renude vigger and I think
my old man was about to say we will stop here and have lunch when my
mother sugested it herself.
No replid my father with a corse jesture we will go on to Little Falls.
It was raining cats and dogs when we arived at Little Falls and my
father droped a quaint remark.
If Falls is a verb he said the man that baptized this town was a
practicle joker.
We will half to change our close replid my mother steping into a mud
peddle in front of the hotel with a informal look.
When we had done so we partook of a meger lunch and as it was now only
drooling resumed our jurney.
They soked me 5 for that room said my father but what is a extra
sokeing or 2 on a day like this.
I didnt mean for you to get a room said my mother violently.
Where did you want us to change our close on the register said my old
man turning pail.
Wasnt it funny that we should happen to see Mrs. Heywood in Utica said
my mother at lenth.
They live there dont they my father replid.
Why yes my mother replid.
Well then my father replid the real joke would of been if we had of
happened to see her in Auburn.
[Illustration: _Albany’s Rich Policeman_]
A little wile latter we past a grate many signs reading dine at the
Big Nose Mountain Inn.
Rollie Zeider never told me they had named a mountain after him crid my
father and soon we past through Fonda.
Soon we past through Amsterdam and I guess I must of dosed off at lease
I cant remember anything between there and Schenectady and I must
apologize to my readers for my laps as I am unable to ether describe
the scenery or report anything that may of been said between these 2
points but I recall that as we entered Albany a remark was adrest to me
for the first time since lunch.
Bill said my mother with a ½ smirk this is Albany the capital of New
York state.
So this is Albany I thorght to myself.
Who is governor of New York now arsked my mother to my father.
Smith replid my father who seams to know everything.
Queer name said my mother sulkily.
Soon we puled up along side a policeman who my father arsked how do
we get acrost the river to the New York road and if Albany pays their
policemans by the word Ill say we were in the presents of a rich man
and by the time he got through it was dark and still drooling and my
old man didnt know the road and under those conditions I will not
repete the conversation that transpired between Albany and Hudson but
will end my chapter at the city limits of the last named settlemunt.
CHAPTER 7
Hudson
We were turing gaily down the main st of Hudson when a man of 12 years
capered out from the side walk and hoped on the runing board.
Do you want a good garage he arsked with a dirty look.
Why yes my good man replid my father tenderly but first where is the
best hotel.
I will take you there said the man.
I must be a grate favorite in Hudson my father wispered at my mother.
Soon folling the mans directions we puled up in front of a hotel but
when my father went at the register the clerk said I am full tonight.
Where do you get it around here arsked my father tenderly.
We have no rooms replid the senile clerk paying no tension to my old
mans remark but there is a woman acrost the st that takes loggers.
[Illustration: _The Man of Twelve years_]
Not to excess I hope replid my father but soon we went acrost the st
and the woman agrede to bord us for the night so myself and mother
went to our apartmunts wilst my father and the 12 year old besought
the garage. When we finley got reunited and went back to the hotel for
supper it was past 8 oclock as a person could of told from the viands.
Latter in front of our loggings we again met the young man who had
welcomed us to Hudson and called my father to 1 side.
There is a sailer going to spend the night here he said in a horse
wisper witch has walked all the way from his home Schenectady and he
has got to report on his ship in New York tomorrow afternoon and has
got no money so if he dont get a free ride he will be up vs it.
He can ride with us replid my father with a hiccup if tomorrow is
anything like today a sailer will not feel out of place in my costly
moter.
I will tell him replid the man with a corse jesture.
Will you call us at ½ past 5 my mother reqested to our lanlady as we
entered our Hudson barracks.
I will if I am awake she replid useing her handkerchief to some extent.
Latter we wandered how anybody could help from being awake in that hot
bed of mones and grones and cat calls and caterwauls and gulish screaks
of all kinds and tho we had rose erly at Syracuse and had a day of
retchedness we was all more than ready to get up when she wraped on our
door long ere day brake.
Where is that sailer that stoped here last night quired my father as we
was about to make a lordly outburst.
He wouldnt pay his bill and razed hell so I kicked him out replid the
lanlady in her bear feet.
Without farther adieu my father payed his bill and we walked into the
dismul st so I will end this chapter by leaveing the fare lanlady
flaping in the door way in her sredded night gown.
[Illustration: _Our lanlady in Hudson_]
CHAPTER 8
Hudson to Yonkers 106.5
It was raining a little so my father bad my mother and I stand in
the st wilst he went to the garage and retained the costly moter. He
returned ½ a hour latter with the story that the garage had been locked
and he had to go to the props house and roust him out.
How did you know where he lived quired my mother barshfully.
I used the brains god gave me was my fathers posthumous reply.
Soon we rumpled into Rhinebeck and as it was now day light and the rain
had siezed we puled up in front of the Beekman arms for brekfus.
It says this is the oldest hotel in America said my mother reading the
programme.
The eggs tastes all right replid my father with a corse jesture.
What is the next town quired my mother when we again set sale.
Pokippsie was my fathers reply.
Thats where Vassar is said my mother as my old man stiffled a yawn I
wonder if there is a store there that would have a koop for David.
I doubt it they ever heard of him said my father dryly how much do they
cost.
Well I dont know.
We entered Pokippsie at lenth and turned to the left up the main st
and puled up in front of a big store where myself and mother went in
and purchased a koop for my little brother and a kap for me witch
only took a ½ hour dureing witch my father lost his temper and when we
finley immerged he was barking like a dog and giveing the Vassar yell.
2 men come out of the store with us and tost the koop with the rest of
the junk in the back seat and away we went.
Doesnt this look cute on him said my mother in regards to my new kap.
What of it replid my father with a grimace and with that we puled into
Garrison.
Isnt this right acrost the river from West Point said my mother with a
gastly look.
What of it replid my father tenderly and soon we found ourselfs in
Peekskill.
This is where that young girl cousin of mine gos to school said my
father from Philadelphia.
What of it said my mother with a loud cough and presently we stoped and
bought 15 gals of gas.
I have got a fund of usefull information about every town we come to
said my father admireingly for instants this is Harmon where they take
off the steem engines and put on the electric bullgines.
My mother looked at him with ill consealed admiration.
And what do you know about this town she arsked as we frisked into
Ossining.
Why this is Ossining where they take off the hair and put on the
stripes replid my father qick as a flarsh and the next place is
Tarrytown where John D. Rockefeller has a estate.
What is the name of the estate quired my mother breathlessly.
Socony I supose was the sires reply.
With that we honked into Yonkers and up the funny looking main st.
What a funny looking st said my mother and I always thorght it was the
home of well to do peaple.
Well yes replid my father it is the home of the ruling class at lease
Bill Klem the umpire and Bill Langford the referee lives here.
I will end my chapter on that one.
CHAPTER 9
The Bureau of Manhattan
Isn’t it about time said my mother as we past Spuyten Duyvil and
entered the Bureau of Manhattan that we made our plans.
What plans said my father all my plans is all ready made.
Well then you might make me your confident sugested my mother with a
quaint smirk.
Well then heres the dope uttered my father in a vage tone I am going to
drop you at the 125 st station where you will only half to wait 2 hours
and a ½ for the rest of the family as the train from the west is do at
350 at 125 st in the meen wile I will drive out to Grenitch with Bill
and see if the house is ready and etc and if the other peaples train
is on time you can catch the 4 4 and I an Bill will meet you at the
Grenitch station.
If you have time get a qt of milk for David said my mother with a pail
look.
What kind of milk arsked my dad.
Oh sour milk my mother screened.
As she was now in a pretty bad temper we will leave her to cool off for
2 hours and a ½ in the 125 st station and end this chapter.
CHAPTER 10
N. Y. to Grenitch 500.0
The lease said about my and my fathers trip from the Bureau of
Manhattan to our new home the soonest mended. In some way ether I or
he got balled up on the grand concorpse and next thing you know we was
thretning to swoop down on Pittsfield.
Are you lost daddy I arsked tenderly.
Shut up he explained.
At lenth we doubled on our tracks and done much better as we finley hit
New Rochelle and puled up along side a policeman with falling archs.
[Illustration: _The New Rochelle Policeman_]
What road do I take for Grenitch Conn quired my father with poping eyes.
Take the Boston post replid the policeman.
I have all ready subscribed to one out of town paper said my father and
steped on the gas so we will leave the flat foot gaping after us like a
prune fed calf and end this chapter.
CHAPTER 11
How It Ended
True to our promise we were at the station in Grenitch when the costly
train puled in from 125 st. Myself and father hoped out of the lordly
moter and helped the bulk of the famly off of the train and I aloud our
nurse and my 3 brothers to kiss me tho Davids left me rarther moist.
Did you have a hard trip my father arsked to our nurse shyly.
Why no she replid with a slite stager.
She did too said my mother they all acted like little devils.
Did you get Davids milk she said turning on my father.
[Illustration: _Our Nurse_]
Why no does he like milk my father replid with a gastly smirk.
We got lost mudder I said brokenly.
We did not screened my father and accidently cracked me in the shins
with a stray foot.
To change the subjeck I turned my tensions on my brother Jimmie who is
nerest my age.
I’ve seen our house Jimmie I said brokenly I got here first.
Yes but I slept all night on a train and you didnt replid Jimmie with a
dirty look.
Nether did you said my brother John to Jimmie you was awake all night.
Were awake said my mother.
Me and David was awake all night and crid said my brother John.
But I only crid once the whole time said my brother Jimmie.
But I didnt cry at all did I I arsked to my mother.
So she replid with a loud cough Bill was a very very good boy.
So now we will say fare well to the characters in this book.
[Illustration:
GAS
27
]
Transcriber’s Notes
Pg 64 Changed: and the woman agrede to hord us for the night
To: and the woman agrede to bord us for the night
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