The Project Gutenberg eBook of Remember the 4th!, by Noel Loomis
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Title: Remember the 4th!
Author: Noel Loomis
Release Date: March 26, 2023 [eBook #70388]
Language: English
Produced by: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed
Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK REMEMBER THE 4TH! ***
Remember the 4th!
By Noel Loomis
(author of "The Lithium Mountain")
Slim Coleman's brain-finder worked all too well!
If, as has often been contended, the brain contains a complete
record of all events the individual has experienced, consciously or
otherwise, then a mechanical means of exploring someone's past
might be found. It would show the discrepancies between the most
reliable memories of events, and actual sense-impressions received
at the time, for example. But few people would like such a device,
and those few might like it much too much!
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Future combined with Science Fiction Stories July 1951.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
This was a warm day in August--a very warm day. Slim Coleman, my
partner in detection work, says the sun is ninety million miles away,
but this day it must have sneaked up pretty close. You could even see
the heat waves coming up off the sidewalk. You can't fry an egg on the
pavement in Fort Worth, though, because you can't stay out in the sun
that long.
I mopped my brow, slung the water off my fingertips, and went into
the lobby of the National Bank Building. The washed air made it cool
and nice in there, and I slowed down to enjoy it. But one of the
elevators came down, the door slid open, and the first man to get off
was Swanberg, the building manager--our landlord--all dressed up in
striped trousers and a fancy vest and wearing a high wing collar and a
genuine cravat. He looked impeccable, immaculate--and cool.
I wheeled and marched back outside into the sun. Slim and I were three
months behind with the rent, and I figured the only reason Swanberg
hadn't ordered us out was that he just hadn't gotten around to it.
I didn't want to run into him. If we could have paid our rent I
wouldn't have been carrying ham sandwiches and a bottle of coffee in my
coat-pockets up to Slim Coleman while he worked on the Brain-Finder.
The heat almost smothered me after the coolness of the lobby. Damn
that guy Swanberg, anyway. He was always so perfect, so completely
unaffected by the weather, so supercilious and so cold, so mechanical.
You knew he'd never had any trouble and never would have, because he
would never be swayed by anything but cold logic. It's only we humans
with sentiments who get in trouble.
It was his untouchableness that griped me. He was so inhumanly perfect
he always made me feel rough and uncouth. You know how it is. If I
could just get something on him to throw off that complex, I'd be happy
even if we did have to vacate. I guess I spent my time day-dreaming
about Swanberg--Swanberg wearing an old-fashioned night-cap, Swanberg
slurping his coffee, Swanberg sleeping with his socks on--anything
human.
What wouldn't I have given to have a picture of him in the roller
coaster the way I had been the night of July the Fourth, with a
perfectly strange, perfectly gorgeous, slim blonde throwing her arms
around his neck the way that one had around mine. I was willing to bet
he had a big, hefty wife at home who made him step.
I shivered whenever I thought about that blonde. She was the kind I
would have liked to marry, only one like that was way out of my reach.
I didn't have much education and I didn't always know what to do around
a real high-class female. That's why I had been riding the roller
coaster alone.
* * * * *
Well, there was nothing for it now but the coal-chute. A truck was
backed up to the sidewalk and two very black-faced men were pushing
coal down a steel chute through a manhole in the sidewalk. I ducked
into the alley, unrolled the bundle under my arm, and threw out a pair
of khaki coveralls. I hated this, but I did it anyway; I had to. We
couldn't afford to have my suit cleaned every time I went in through
the sidewalk, so I got into the coveralls and zipped them up. I watched
around the corner. When the truckers raised the steel bed, I walked up
to the open hole in the sidewalk and dropped in casually.
I'm a short man anyway, a little on the chunky side, and that coal-hole
was like a furnace. The sweat poured down my back and chest and the
coal-dust poured into my nostrils. I got out of there as fast as I
could and took the freight elevator to the twenty-second floor. I went
through the hall, unlocked the door, got inside, and locked it again.
"That you, Doc?" came Slim Coleman's deep voice.
"Yeah." I held the coveralls out of the window, slapped the coal-dust
out of them, took off my damp suit-coat and laid it on top of the desk,
got the electric iron out of the desk-drawer and plugged it in. Our
sign said _Coleman & Hambright, Private Investigators_, and we had
to maintain appearances, but I wished we could afford a store-bought
pressing. I brushed my pants, but they were damp, too, so I took them
off and laid them out on the desk-top, over some papers, with the
creases pinched tight. I mopped my brow and went into the other room.
Slim Coleman looked up from a work-bench covered with wires,
tubes, condensers, and all kinds of electrical gadgets. He had
a soldering-iron poised above something that looked like a
forty-eight-tube radio. He had deep, deep brown eyes that always looked
through everybody, but Slim was a hundred-per-cent. In fact, it was
his loyalty that had us behind the eight-ball now. If he had dissolved
partnership instead of offering to pay the damages the time I fell from
a second-story window and went through a skylight into a whole tableful
of expensive orchids--but no, Slim paid it all--twenty-two hundred
dollars before he got through, because the cold air ruined a lot more
orchids. And I hadn't even gotten the evidence I was after. (No, it was
just happenstance that I fell from the bedroom window of a movie star.)
"What luck?" said Slim in his husky voice.
"I served them, but look, Slim, I hope you get that Brain-Finder going
pretty quick. Not that I mind crawling under the length of three
pullman cars and cutting my ankles on the cinders to serve divorce
papers on Tom Ellingbery, who's worth a million. Not that I mind doing
all that for a measly five bucks, but when I have to come through the
sidewalk in the summertime to duck the landlord--"
Coleman's face lighted up. "The Brain-Finder is ready for a tryout," he
said. "Shall I show you yourself the night of July the Fourth?"
Well, partly because I guess I didn't have much real faith in the
gadget, I said "Okay," and went to get the four ham sandwiches and the
coffee in a milk-bottle out of my coat-pockets. That was why I couldn't
take off the coat when I put on the coveralls--for fear of spilling the
coffee. Then I groaned and ran for the desk. There was a brown puddle
spreading on the desk and soaking up my coat. I very nearly said "Damn!"
"I've got your brain wave-length," Slim was saying. I started mopping
up with my handkerchief while I hung the coat up to dry. "Now, all I
have to do is--come here, Doc!"
I put the sandwiches on the bench in front of him, but for once Slim
didn't even reach. He looked at me and his deep-set eyes were burning.
"We are going to be the greatest private investigators in history,"
he said. "In fact, we'll _make_ history. Doc, we'll be the most
important men in America."
I should have been more enthusiastic, but things were going so
badly--"I don't care," I told him, "about being a great man, if I can
just quit ducking the landlord. I want to walk in under his nose and
not be scared of him. If you want to fill my cup to overflowing, just
let me use that thing long enough to get something on him."
* * * * *
Slim was already turning dials. Tubes were lighting up. The set was
humming. Pretty soon he pointed to a screen, and I damn near lost my
breath. There on a screen about twelve by eighteen inches, big enough
so there wasn't any mistake, I saw myself on the night of July Fourth,
just as I bought one ticket for the roller coaster.
I guess my eyes stuck out a foot, for Slim was looking at me with that
kind of sad smile. "Roller coasters," he said gently. "Got enough, Doc?"
I gulped. "Plenty. Cut it off, please." In the screen I saw the blonde
just behind me, and I didn't want Slim to see her put her arms around
me when the roller coaster went over the dip.
[Illustration: It was hard to make out the faces.]
Slim smiled and snapped a bunch of switches. The lights in the tubes
went out. "Think what this will mean in criminal prosecutions, to
be able to follow a man in the past. Present-day testimony will be
archaic. The courts won't have to take anybody's word for anything;
they can follow a man and watch him in the past."
"Judge Monday wouldn't admit that kind of evidence," I pointed out.
"Naturally not. It will take twenty-five years to get this kind of
evidence admitted in court. In the meantime, we'll have to go easy. But
we can make millions, just by bluffing. When we _know_ that a man
was playing poker in Jones's basement until six o'clock Sunday morning,
then we can bluff and put it over. Just so we don't tangle with a real
tough guy the first time. For instance--sh! Somebody's at the door."
Slim ran to the door while I ran for my pants. I ducked back into the
other room and got them on. I heard the voice. It was a man's voice,
and I had heard it before--just recently. I peeked out. Yes, it was Tom
Ellingbery. I stayed quiet.
"A pot-bellied little guy just served divorce papers on me," he said
harshly. "I got off the train and came here. A friend of mine sent me;
I want your services."
"Yes," said Slim.
"Here's a hundred-dollar bill," Tom Ellingbery said. "Start shadowing
my wife; get something on her. I'll give you five thousand to get
something--ten if it's necessary," he said with a slight leer.
Slim gravely picked up the C note. "We don't do business that way," he
said; "but if your wife has been misbehaving we'll find it out."
Ellingbery was a big man with a sharp go-getter look about him. He
stared hard at Slim and Slim stared back. Ellingbery's expression
didn't show anything; then he left.
* * * * *
Slim locked the door after Ellingbery, and I took off my pants and set
up the ironing-board on the desk. Slim went back to adjust the dials on
his machine.
"This gadget is a sort of super-sensitive radar," he said as it warmed
up. "I can tune it to your brain-waves and pick you up anywhere within
forty miles or three months."
A purple indicator began to wink. "It proves I've got brains, anyway,"
I pointed out.
"Yes, your waves come in at a frequency of approximately 1,832,956,000.
That's as close as I can tune it so far, but that's plenty close
enough. There are other characteristics, such as power and damping and
height of crest and so on, that make it selective enough to pick out
any one person in the United States if it could reach that far."
"And then you can see everything I do?"
"No, I can see only what you see with your own eyes."
Then I must have been staring at the blonde. I held my breath when I
asked, "Can you tell what I'm thinking?"
"No."
I breathed again.
"I can translate what you say into language, though. Something happens
when I throw two hundred and twenty volts into this bank of tubes. As
near as I can figure, it creates a 'time-warp'--which doesn't mean much
of anything objectively. I don't know how it works; I couldn't even
duplicate it. I suppose some high-powered electronics engineer could
figure it out, but I don't want anybody but you and me even to know
about it. What I'm interested in is what we can do with it."
"What I'm interested in," I said, "is how much money we can make with
it."
Slim looked at me with his great burning eyes while the steam rose from
under the iron on my pants.
"You're about to find out." The ground-glass screen slowly lighted.
A new bank of tubes began to sparkle and then settled down into a
greenish glow. Slim turned dials, and there was the figure of a woman
on the screen.
"That," said Slim, "is Mrs. Tom Ellingbery."
Well, of course I couldn't see her face. She was playing bridge,
apparently. Her hands looked nice. The woman at her left said, "I hear
you've filed suit against your husband."
Mrs. Ellingbery reached for a king, but her fingers were nervous. She
played a six instead and lost the trick. "Yes," she said quietly, "I
have." Her voice was sad.
I waited a minute. Then, "How did you know how to tune in on her?" I
asked Slim.
"I got her wave-characteristics when she came up the other day to get
us to serve the papers," he said. "I got Tom's today while we were
talking. The machine was all set and the recording needles made a
permanent record."
I swallowed. "Can you get the landlord's characteristics too?"
Slim held up a sheet of ruled paper. "Got his already. I was just
practicing; I got him when he was trying to hammer the door down
yesterday."
Suddenly I felt a deep peace. I had the landlord in my power, now, and
I didn't have to hurry; I could take my time.
But Slim notched me down. "Get this hundred changed," he said. "Give
the landlord fifty and then have the telephone connected again."
I took the hundred.
"Get some more sandwiches, too. We'll be here late tonight."
Well, the landlord wasn't as sarcastic as I had feared. He defrosted
slightly when he saw the fifty. Now we owed him only two hundred. I
knew he was probably going to put us out on September the first, but I
soothed my hurt feelings by imagining him walking around in his shorts.
There is nothing else that will so undignify a man. But before long--in
fact, as soon as I could get to the Brain-Finder while Slim wasn't
watching--I'd get the facts.
* * * * *
We watched Mrs. Ellingbery for four straight nights and days. She went
visiting; she played bridge; she shopped. She never did give more than
a second glance at any man, and she didn't talk to any man over the
phone. We could see her only when she looked at herself in the mirror.
That was enough.
We followed her like two blood-hounds, from the time she ate breakfast
until she went to bed at night, but Slim turned the machine off when
she sat down to remove her stockings. Slim always was a gentleman.
We went back in "time"--fast. Flashes here and there. But Mrs.
Ellingbery was like Caesar's wife. On the fifth day Slim called Tom
Ellingbery and told him he was dropping the case, that his wife was
above suspicion and it wasn't worth while to watch her. I was glad, but
Tom Ellingbery swore; anyway, he said he'd send a check for another
hundred. Then Slim sat back and looked at me. "Now," he said quietly,
"we'll turn this thing where it belongs."
I'd been hoping he'd go out for a sandwich, now that we dared to
use the passenger elevators, so that I could sneak a preview of the
landlord biting his fingernails in seclusion, but no. Slim fixed his
deep eyes on me and said, "We'll see what Tom has been doing recently.
Do you realize he hasn't been in the picture but once in five days?"
Tom was it, all right. We trailed him that night to a big apartment
house across town. Yes, it was a blonde, only this one had had
considerable help from a bottle of peroxide....
Slim made a deal with Mrs. Ellingbery's lawyers. We were to get
five triple-o's if Mrs. Ellingbery won. So Slim spent the week-end
trailing Tom for the past three months while I wrote it all down like a
chronological history of the war. I was tickled over July the Fourth.
On July the Fourth, Tom and the bleached blonde started out with a
popcorn picnic and wound up--you guess. Riding the roller coaster! I
could just imagine what old Judge Monday would say to that; that little
scene would be worth half of the property settlement.
We were short on time. Some way or another Tom Ellingbery had
rushed the trial, and it was set for August 30. We turned over our
notes to Mrs. Ellingbery's lawyers and sat back and waited. Private
investigators never go near the courts unless they have to.
At four-thirty that day the telephone rang. Slim listened, then he hung
up. "Tom has got a couple of shrewd, tough lawyers," he said. "We have
to go to court. Tom isn't admitting anything and he isn't taking any
bluffs. He demands proof."
"Well," I said, "for five M notes I'll tell everything."
* * * * *
Slim was worried. He talked to her lawyers, Youngquist and Rubicam,
that night. The next morning we were both in court. It was direct
examination. Slim identified himself, then he was asked: "You have
investigated Tom Ellingbery's activities over the past three months?"
"Yes." Slim was very self-composed.
"Did you, on the night of August 26, observe him going into an
apartment house at this address?"
"Yes."
And so on--but never a word of where Slim was when he saw all this.
Very clever, I thought, but when I looked at those sharp-eyed young
fellows at Tom Ellingbery's table, I knew it'd never get by.
Presently Mr. Youngquist said, "You may inquire." I held my breath. But
one of the young fellows looked up and said, "Are you going to put his
partner on?"
"Yes," said Mr. Youngquist.
"With that understanding, there are no questions of this witness, your
honor."
I jumped as if I had sat down on an electric griddle. It was plain even
to me; they figured Slim was pretty sharp, so they'd wait for me, and
in the meantime they wouldn't tip me off by asking Slim any questions.
I wished I could have held my breath for about three days.
I got along all right with Mr. Youngquist. I was careful not to say
anything about where I had stood or sat or walked. I said, "Yes,
I followed him," because I did follow him with my eyes. Then Mr.
Youngquist turned to the young fellow and said, "You may inquire."
The young fellow got up slowly and looked at me easily and gently, but
it was still August. I was sweating. I knew it was coming. I looked at
Slim. Slim was sweating too. I looked at Mr. Youngquist. He wiped the
perspiration from his forehead.
"You say," the young fellow began softly, "that you and your partner
followed Mr. Ellingbery from sometime in June?"
"Yes."
"You testified, I believe, that on the night of July the Fourth, Tom
Ellingbery and this girl were at the amusement park?"
"Yes."
"And I believe you have cited some eight or nine dates up to the
fifteenth of July."
I looked at Mr. Youngquist and I was astonished to see his face the
color of bleached muslin.
"Well, did you or did you not?"
I looked at Slim. He was puzzled, too. Finally I nodded.
"Will you say it for the record, please?"
"Yes."
"That is to say, you are now testifying that you followed Mr.
Ellingbery on each of eight or nine occasions prior to July 15, and
each time with your partner at your side?"
"Yes."
"And always at Mrs. Ellingbery's request?"
"Yes." That was a nasty question, but it had to be answered yes.
"Were you here in court yesterday?"
"No, sir." I would have said, "No, your majesty," if it would have
helped.
"You didn't hear Mrs. Ellingbery testify that her suspicions were first
aroused when somebody reported to her that on July the Fourth Tom
Ellingbery was riding the roller coaster with another girl?"
I wish I could have jumped into the Brain-Finder and gone back about
two weeks. I would have walked through the sidewalk while the coal was
being poured.
"No," I said finally.
The young fellow looked triumphantly at Mr. Youngquist, who looked as
if he would like to be buried in ashes up to his ears.
"That's all."
Mr. Youngquist rallied and put Slim back on the stand. Then there was a
recess. Mr. Youngquist and Mr. Rubicam and Slim and Mrs. Ellingbery and
I went into a big huddle out in the hall. "That's what comes of messing
around with imbecilic things like this Brain-Finder," Mr. Youngquist
moaned. "Why didn't we stick to straight law?"
"Because we couldn't win that way," Mr. Rubicam reminded him. "We
didn't have any real evidence."
Well, they decided the only chance to win the case was to have Slim
tell about and demonstrate the Brain-Finder. Slim didn't like to do
that; but we needed those five G's. That afternoon he told. The next
morning we lugged it into court and set it on a table with the screen
facing the judge.
* * * * *
There was a crowd in court that morning, thanks to a news story in the
morning _Herald_. Slim groaned; crowds aren't good for private
investigators. I pricked up my ears when in marched Mr. Swanberg,
our landlord, as austere as striped trousers could possibly make him,
but with a beauteous blonde in a pink dress, clinging as if she was
afraid he'd get away. That opened my eyes. Maybe the old iceberg was
human after all, to rate that kind of devotion. Maybe he did have an
occasional moment of abandonment when he would lick the butter from
his knife. If we ever got through this mess I was going to find out.
"That's Mrs. Swanberg," Youngquist said to Slim.
I looked his wife over in my best professional style. I thought I'd
seen her some place, and a detective is supposed to remember faces, but
I couldn't quite place her. Anyway, there were now three blondes mixed
in with that court-room--and that's a lot of blondes. Mr. and Mrs.
Swanberg sat down at one side opposite the jury-box where they could
see the screen of the Brain-Finder as well as the judge. I suppose
Swanberg had read the story and wanted to see what we were up to in his
building. Mrs. Ellingbery sat across the counsel table from me. She was
a winner if there ever was one.
Slim went on the stand. He demonstrated the Brain-Finder very
feebly--that is, innocuously. It was obvious that Youngquist was scared
to death of what might happen.
And again Tom Ellingbery's lawyers passed up cross examination of Slim.
I knew they were waiting for me.
They were. "Do you understand this machine?" one asked me scornfully.
"No, sir."
"You know how to work it, don't you?"
"Yes. I think so."
"Do you mean to tell this court that you can adjust the dials and
gadgets on this thing and see what I was doing last week or the week
before?"
I tried to be cautious. "If it's plugged in."
"Okay, we'll plug it in."
He invited me to step down and turn on the switches. I looked at Slim.
He nodded. After all, there was nothing else to do. I went.
Some of the tubes crackled and then settled down to a steady green
glow, and one bank showed purple. Then the lawyer said, "Now, do you
mean to tell me you can tune this contraption in on a man's brain and
find him anywhere in the past?" He sounded completely skeptical.
"Within three months," I said defiantly.
"For instance, you testified that Tom Ellingbery was riding the roller
coaster on the night of July the Fourth with the girl who has been
named in this case. You saw this on this screen?"
"Yes."
"Can you tune it in again?"
* * * * *
Well, I knew this was all preliminary. It would take something
absolutely dynamic to convince Judge Monday that the Brain-Finder
was the real thing and not a fake. So I wasn't worrying--yet.
"Yes," I said, and set the dials to Tom Ellingbery's brain-waves. I
picked up Tom and the bleached blonde just as they stepped into the
roller-coaster car, and followed them around the ride. It wasn't very
sensational; she screamed and hid her eyes and grabbed Tom around the
neck. Standard technique.
Then the lawyer said, "Can you pick up your own brain-wave on this
thing?"
"Yes."
"What were you doing on the night of July the Fourth?"
"I was--" I swallowed. "I was riding the roller coaster."
I think somebody snickered.
"Can you show us?"
"Yes," I said cautiously.
I began to adjust the dials. Again the amusement park flickered over
the ground glass, as seen through my eyes. I was in line. I put my
money on the counter to buy a ticket. I saw a slim white hand reach up
to the window from my left and I started to turn. Then it hit me!
That gorgeous blonde! That girl who had thrown her arms around me in
the car a minute later. That was Swanberg's wife.
I looked around at them in the court-room. I knew what was happening
on the screen. I hadn't looked at her face until she got into the
car after me. Mrs. Swanberg was leaning over, now, watching the
screen. One arm was slipped through the landlord's elbow and she was
surreptitiously but affectionately patting the back of his hand.
Swanberg himself looked completely blissful. What had she been out
there alone for, that night? Well, no telling. Maybe he'd been out of
town and she'd felt like doing something childish. Certainly there was
no meanness or deceit in her face. She was in love with him. And he, in
spite of all his austerity, was obviously in love with her.
I looked out the window. There was no doubt that the fame of the
Brain-Finder by now would be all over town. Within a week we'd be
flooded with work--high-priced work. We'd take only the very best
cases, the highest priced, the least messy. We'd pay the rent. We'd eat
in restaurants instead of carrying sandwiches. In another three months
we'd be rolling in money--and almost without work. If we wanted to work
hard with the Brain-Finder, we'd make millions. I could maybe find
myself the right kind of girl to marry.
* * * * *
I looked back at the screen. I had just settled myself in the seat of
the roller-coaster car. A pink dress came into my field of vision on
the right. Yes, sir, this demonstration would do it. This, and those
to follow. Whatever Judge Monday might say, there would be an appeal,
and we'd have to take the thing to the Supreme Court, and how could any
judge ignore it if Slim could show the judge himself working on his pet
corn the night before? We were about to be what is vulgarly but happily
known as "in the bucks."
What would happen to Swanberg? I remembered how I'd always pictured
his wife as unattractive, and all of a sudden it made me feel kind of
ashamed. He had certainly shown good taste in his choice of a wife.
Well, pretty quick now I could afford to travel in that kind of company.
I wondered what would happen when Swanberg saw his wife throwing her
arms around me on the roller coaster. I guessed maybe he wouldn't
be cold; he'd be jealous. Well, a man with a young and beautiful
wife--somehow it kind of got me. I mean that sort of calf-like
happiness. He loved her and he felt secure in the knowledge that she
loved him, and--well, you know how it is.
Gosh, how I wanted that money. Here it was within our reach--the thing
we'd worked so hard for, the reason I'd crawled under pullman cars and
gone through the sidewalk and sneaked in to evade the landlord--all so
Slim could keep working on the Brain-Finder. He had it now. Slim didn't
know how to duplicate it, but one was all we needed. That one was worth
a fortune.
I looked back at the Swanbergs, sitting there so close together.
Swanberg hadn't really been tough with us. In fact, he'd been lenient.
Three months was a lot to be behind. No, I guess the only thing I
hadn't really liked about him was the fact that he was always so
perfectly dressed and so cool while I had to go through the sidewalk on
a hot day in August and then press the sweat out of my clothes with a
flat-iron.
I looked at the girl. She was nice. She hadn't been doing anything out
of the way that night. She certainly hadn't made any sort of pass at
me. And they were in love.
I guess I had no business being an investigator. I looked at the
judge, watching every move with his sharp old eyes. I glanced at Slim
Coleman, sitting there, looking a little puzzled, his eyes deep and
burning. I tried to ask Slim to forgive me. I looked at the screen. The
roller-coaster car was pulling up to the top of the first hump.
I took hold of the Brain-Finder. It was heavy, but I picked it up and
held it over my head, then I heaved it onto the floor, and it was
nothing but a mass of loose wires and broken glass.
A woman screamed. Youngquist fainted. Slim came running with a question
in his deep eyes. Tom Ellingbery's lawyer was triumphant. The judge
pounded for order....
* * * * *
This is four days later. Tom Ellingbery and his wife made up. Last
night's paper showed them on the roller coaster. He was quoted as
saying: "All I wanted was to ride the roller coaster." And she had
said: "Boys will be boys."
Slim brings me four ham sandwiches and coffee twice a day. He got
acquainted with the blonde that Tom Ellingbery was riding the roller
coasters with, and they went out to the park and had five dollars worth
of rides the night that Tom Ellingbery paid Slim the five G's. (Tom
said it was worth that much to have his wife back.) And do you know
whom Slim and the blonde ran into at the Park? Mr. and Mrs. Swanberg.
First thing I ever heard of a man in a tail-coat riding the roller
coaster.
In fact, everybody's got a blonde but me, and everybody's riding the
roller coaster but me. I'm not riding them now. I got thirty days for
contempt of court.
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