The Project Gutenberg EBook of Le Noël des Petits Gueux, by Max du Veuzit
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Title: Le Noël des Petits Gueux
Author: Max du Veuzit
Release Date: December 25, 2008 [EBook #27619]
Language: French
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LE NOËL DES PETITS GUEUX ***
Produced by Daniel Fromont
[Transcriber's note: Max du Veuzit (pseudonyme d'Alphonsine
Vavasseur-Acher Mme François Simonet) (1876-1952),
_Le Noël des Petits Gueux_ (1909)]
Max du VEUZIT
Le Noël des Petits Gueux
PIECE REALISTE EN UN ACTE
PRIX: 1 Franc
1909
Tous droits de traduction et de reproduction réservés
pour tous pays
PERSONNAGES:
UN IVROGNE... 45 ans environ
MARIA... 14 ans
CARLOT... 8 ans
DECOR:
Sept heures du soir, en hiver, dans une chaumière misérablement
meublée.
Une table boiteuse, des chaises de paille, un mauvais lit dans le fond.
Port à gauche, au dernier plan, fermant par un loquet de bois.
Sur la table, verres, bouteilles vides et chandelier, pêle-mêle.
Au lever du rideau, la scène est plongée dans l'obscurité.
SCENE I
L'IVROGNE
L'ivrogne d'une voix pâteuse chante dans la coulisse:
--Viens Poupoule, viens, etc...
La porte s'ouvre et il apparaît titubant. Une bouteille pleine sort à
moitié de sa poche. Toujours chantant, il fait quelques pas, puis
s'arrête:
-- Une vraie bouteille à l'encre!... Ca manque de bec de gaz!
Se cognant au lit:
-- Oh!... quelle turne!
Se cramponnant au lit:
-- C'est c'tte sacrée Maria qu'aura mis une chaise là pour que j'me
f... par terre!... Y a plus d'enfants! L'respect d'la famille s'en va
complètement!
Il cherche une allumette dans ses poches.
-- Je... J'vais allumer l'électricité.
Il frotte une allumette, qui rate, puis une seconde et une troisième.
-- Vive la Régie!
Au public:
-- La Régie a été instituée pour embêter les citoyens, mais ça prend
pas avec moi... quand l'allumette rate, j'crie vive la Régie... pour la
narguer!... et quand elle ne rate pas... (Il en prend une:) Vive la
République!
Tenant délicatement l'allumette enflammée il s'avance vers la cheminée:
-- Où qu'il est, le lustre?...
Il cherche:
-- Le lustre à Bibi n'est pas là!
Il allume une autre allumette et va vers la table:
-- Là!... Voici le réverbère en question.
Il veut atteindre la chandelle mais sa main qui tremble semble vouloir
allumer tous les goulots des bouteilles:
-- Ca doit être encore un tour de c'tte sacrée Maria... C'est humide,
ça peut pas brûler, pardi!
Larmoyant:
-- Si c'est pas malheureux d'avoir une fille qui mouille tous les bouts
de chandelle!
Il a fini cependant par allumer celle-ci. Tombant en arrêt devant les
bouteilles vides:
-- Quelle armée!... Si c'est moi le copain qui ai vidé tout ça j'suis
pas à plaindre, mon colon!
Se cognant l'estomac:
-- Une vraie panse de député qui veut analyser tous les liquides de la
buvette...
Il passe la revue des bouteilles:
-- Zut! Tout est sifflé!... Alors faut serrer la ceinture?... Non!
Zidor a des réserves dans sa cave.
Il tire la bouteille de sa poche:
-- Voilà! M'sieu est servi!!
Il boit un peu:
-- C'est du nanan... le réveillon oblige.
Il commence à boire; son ivresse doit aller croissant. En riant, il
chantonne:
-- Tout tourne! Tout tourne... (parlant) Ca vous met du soleil en
tête... J'ai... j'ai vingt ans... le coeur solide (au public) Y en a
pas un qui me roulerait en ce moment. Qu'est-ce qui veut lutter avec
moi. J'parie vingt ronds.
Il a posé machinalement la bouteille dans un coin et quand il veut
recommencer à boire il en prend une vide sur la table. Il la porte à
ses lèvres, puis l'examine étonné. La voix de plus en plus pâteuse:
-- Ca coule plus! (au public) C'est encore c'tte sacrée Maria... elle a
bouché le goulot...
Pleurnichant:
-- Si c'est pas malheureux d'avoir une fille qui met des bouchons là où
qu'il en faut pas!...
Il s'asseoit près de la table, luttant contre le sommeil:
-- Mon pauvre Zidor! t'as pas de chance avec tes enfants... Ils ne te
font que des mauvais tours!
Il s'assoupit, mais bientôt se redresse en sursaut:
-- Maria!... fais-moi mon lit... (un temps) Tu veux pas me faire mon
lit!... (larmoyant) Ca te portera pas chance...
Il attend et reprend d'un air autoritaire:
-- Ton père est fatigué, Maria!
Changeant de ton et pleurnichant:
-- Non! mais c'est y pas malheureux... d'avoir une fille qui... qui
fait rien au lit!
(Il tombe endormi d'un lourd sommeil d'ivrogne. Il est affaissé plutôt
qu'assis sur sa chaise; le haut du corps et la tête s'appuient sur la
table. Quand il commence à ronfler, la porte s'ouvre timidement et
Charlot passe la tête par l'entrebâillement. Les bouteilles l'empêchent
de voir son père).
SCENE II
L'IVROGNE, MARIA, CHARLOT
CHARLOT, à voix basse
On ne voit rien.
MARIA
Regarde bien.
CHARLOT
Sûr!... Y a personne!
MARIA, ouvrant davantage la porte
Pourtant il y a de la lumière.
CHARLOT
Il est peut-être reparti!
MARIA
Mon Dieu! pourvu qu'il ne soit pas allé au cabaret.
CHARLOT
Mince de réveillon, alors!
(Ils sont entrés; Maria aperçoit l'ivrogne, instinctivement, elle
saisit le bras du petit).
MARIA
Oh!... Il est là!
CHARLOT
Zut!
MARIA
Fais point de bruit, Charlot.
(Elle referme la porte très doucement. Charlot s'est avancé sur la
pointe des pieds vers l'ivrogne et l'examine).
CHARLOT, piteusement.
Il est paf! C'est notre veine!
MARIA
Chut! il dort! Ne le réveillons pas: ses réveils sont terribles.
CHARLOT
Il casse et brise tout!
MARIA
Oui, mais on peut tout de même être tranquilles... on s'couchera sans
qu'il nous entende.
(Elle prend le petit dans ses bras et l'assied sur une chaise près du
lit pour qu'il s'appuie sur celui-ci).
Reste là, mon gosse, je vais te déshabiller tout à l'heure.
CHARLOT
Me déshabiller?
MARIA
Oui.
CHARLOT, plaintivement.
Mais j'ai faim, Maria... On va pas dormir comme ça.
MARIA, tressaillant
T'as faim?
CHARLOT
Et j'suis gelé, encore! C'est pas ce qu'on a mangé aujourd'hui qui m'a
réchauffé l'estomac: un gendarme et du pain, c'est guère réconfortant!
MARIA
Pauvre gosse...
(Ses yeux vont à l'ivrogne dont la respiration devient bruyante. Elle a
un geste de colère).
Y s'a soûlé, encore, c'bougre-là!... On n'a boulotté qu'un croûton dur
d'puis l'matin. Va t'y falloir encore s'coucher sans souper.
CHARLOT
C'est crevant!
MARIA
C'est Noël: y s'ra pas allé travailler cet après-midi... Depuis que la
mère est défunte, c'est comme ça à toutes les fêtes!
CHARLOT
Ah! si maman était là!...
MARIA
Allons, pleure pas, Charlot; tu sais bien que j'fais ce que j'peux pour
la remplacer...
CHARLOT
Mais t'as beau travailler, y te prend toute ta galette.
MARIA, haussant les épaules
Oui, et après on meurt de faim, pardi!
CHARLOT, après un temps
Allons, Maria, donne-moi quelque chose, j'ai faim.
MARIA, à mi-voix
Y a pu rien dans l'buffet...
CHARLOT
Mais j'ai mal là... (Il montre son estomac et éclate en sanglots)
J'veux manger, moi.
MARIA
Y a rien!
CHARLOT
C'est amusant!
(Soudain Maria s'avance vers l'ivrogne)
Ah et puis!!... Tant pis s'il se réveille et s'il casse tout! (Elle le
secoue par le bras) Eh l'père!... l'gosse a faim; faudrait voir à y
donner à manger.
L'IVROGNE, soulevant la tête et essayant d'ouvrir les yeux
Hein!... Quoi!...
MARIA
L'gosse a faim!
L'IVROGNE
Ca fait rien.
(Il retombe lourdement endormi).
MARIA, le secouant plus fortement
Ben, voyons, écoute-moi... J'te dis qu'on a rien dans l'ventre depuis
c'matin et qu'ça peut pas durer comme ça...
(Il reste insensible à l'appel de sa fille; même comme elle le secoue
trop fortement, il roule sous la table avec un bafouillage incohérent;
puis il se tait et reste immobile. Maria en le voyant tomber a un
mouvement de recul. De loin, elle le contemple avec mépris).
MARIA
Ce qu'il est bu!... Il est rien complet!
(Charlot enhardi s'est avancé vers son père et l'examine curieusement).
CHARLOT
Mince! quelle culotte!!... Il en dit pas long en c'moment.
MARIA
C'est triste!
CHARLOT
C'est rigolo!
MARIA
Il a réveillonné sans s'inquiéter de nous.
CHARLOT
Et c'est pas ça qui va nous caler l'ventre...
MARIA
Hélas!
CHARLOT
Dis donc... si tu visitais ses profondes. Il a p't'être pas tout
raboté.
MARIA
C'est une idée!
(D'un bond, elle se rapproche de l'ivrogne, et délicatement, elle tâte
les vêtements et retourne les poches. Du désappointement peu à peu se
lit sur son visage).
Non... rien!... Zut!... Ah misère! il a tout boissonné.
CHARLOT
Y faisait soif pour lui.
MARIA, se relevant avec dépit
Ses goussets sont nettoyés comme jamais.
CHARLOT
Alors?... Rien?
MARIA
Rien!... Quel Noël!
CHARLOT
Pas besoin de mettre ses soulier dans la cheminée: c'est la mouise!
MARIA, apercevant la bouteille
Tiens!
CHARLOT
Quoi?
MARIA
Regarde... Cette fiole qu'est presque pleine.
CHARLOT, prenant la bouteille
Il n'aura pas pu boire tout!
MARIA
Montre un peu pour voir.
(Successivement ils sentent le goulot puis goûtent le liquide: la
bouteille change donc quatre fois de mains).
CHARLOT
C'est du mêlé-cass?
MARIA
Oui c'est bon!
CHARLOT
Ca chauffe!
(Un instant, ils examinent la bouteille en silence. Charlot
timidement).
Dis donc, Maria?
MARIA
Eh bien?
CHARLOT
Si.. si on buvait tout.
MARIA, hésitant
On serait saoult.
CHARLOT
Tant mieux!
MARIA
Oh!
CHARLOT
Si... comme ça, on sentira plus le froid ni la faim.
MARIA, tristement
C'est vrai qu'si on avait le ventre mieux garni, c't'idée-là nous
viendrait pas.
CHARLOT
Pardine!
(Il va pour porter à ses lèvres le goulot, mais la main de Maria
retient la bouteille).
Oh, non... faut pas!
(Ils baissent la tête pensivement, tenant toujours chacun la
bouteille).
CHARLOT, après un temps
A quoi que tu penses, Maria?
MARIA, gravement
Je pense aux réveillons d'autrefois... quand maman vivait...
CHARLOT
Oh, oui! les nuits de Noël.
MARIA, les yeux pleins de larmes
Les belles nuits blanches dont tous les enfants rêvent.
(Ils restent silencieux, l'un près de l'autre, très graves).
CHARLOT, timidement après un temps
Alors.
(Maria saisit brusquement la bouteille),
MARIA
Tant pis... On a rien à s'mettre sous la dent!... Alors!
(Elle boit).
CHARLOT
Ca va être notre réveillon!
(De nouveau la bouteille passe et repasse de main en main. Pendant que
le rideau tombe on voit Charlot, ivre, s'appuyer en riant sur sa soeur
pendant que celle-ci se soutient au mur pour ne pas tomber).
FIN
MONTIVILLIERS
Imprimerie H. RILLET
10, rue Bavanterie, 10
Ouvrages du même Auteur
THEATRE
La Noël des Petits Gueux, 1 acte.
Paternité, 1 acte.
C'est la Loi! (en collaboration avec George Lomelar), 1 acte
Le Sentier (en collaboration avec Robert Nunès), 3 actes
Le Vieux puits, 2 actes
L'Aumône, 1 acte
ROMANS
La Jeannette.
Le Mystère de Malbackt.
La Douce Aimée.
Cousine Yvette.
Amour Fratricide.
Agonie Morale.
La Faute d'Amy.
L'autre Père.
Le Vieux Puits.
DIVERS
Contes normands.
Nouvelles.
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