The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Young Mutineer, by Mrs. L. T. Meade
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Title: A Young Mutineer
Author: Mrs. L. T. Meade
Release Date: February 13, 2008 [EBook #24599]
Language: English
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A YOUNG MUTINEER
[Illustration: "WAS THE PERSON FICKLE, AND DID HE BREAK HIS PROMISE?"
_Frontispiece._]
A Young Mutineer
BY
MRS. L. T. MEADE
AUTHOR OF "A GIRL IN TEN THOUSAND," "A RING OF
RUBIES," "GIRLS NEW AND OLD," ETC.
NEW YORK
STITT PUBLISHING COMPANY
1905
TO
MY LITTLE GIRL HOPE
THE REAL JUDY
October 23, 1893
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER PAGE
I. AN OLD-FASHIONED LITTLE PAIR 1
II. THE PEOPLE WHO GET MARRIED 14
III. A QUESTION AND AN ANSWER 26
IV. CHANGES 36
V. IN A GARDEN 52
VI. THE EVE OF THE WEDDING 67
VII. A WEDDING PRESENT 82
VIII. HONEYMOON 91
IX. STARVED 101
X. WAITING 118
XI. HUSBAND AND WIFE 129
XII. HILDA'S ENGAGEMENT RING 149
XIII. JUDY'S ROOM 157
XIV. THE LITTLE RIFT 174
XV. THREE IS TRUMPERY 186
XVI. A LITTLE GIRL AND A LITTLE CROSS 195
XVII. JUDY'S SECRET 208
XVIII. GIANT-KILLER 224
XIX. GOOD OMENS 253
A YOUNG MUTINEER.
CHAPTER I
AN OLD-FASHIONED LITTLE PAIR.
Sun and shower--sun and shower--
Now rough, now smooth, is the winding way;
Thorn and flower--thorn and flower--
Which will you gather? Who can say?
Wayward hearts, there's a world for your winning,
Sorrow and laughter, love or woe:
Who can tell in the day's beginning
The paths that your wandering feet shall go?
--MARY MACLEOD.
The village choir were practicing in the church--their voices, somewhat
harsh and uncultivated, were sending forth volumes of sound into the
summer air. The church doors were thrown open, and a young man dressed
in cricketing-flannels was leaning against the porch. He was tall, and
square-shouldered, with closely-cropped dark hair, and a keen,
intelligent face.
When the music became very loud and discordant he moved impatiently, but
as the human voices ceased and the sweet notes of the voluntary sounded
in full melody on the little organ, a look of relief swept like a
soothing hand over his forehead.
The gates of the Rectory were within a stone's throw of the church. Up
the avenue three people might have been seen advancing. Two were
children, one an adult. The grown member of this little group was tall
and slight; she wore spectacles, and although not specially gifted with
wisdom, possessed a particularly wise appearance. The two little girls,
who were her pupils, walked somewhat sedately by her side. As they
passed the church the governess looked neither to right nor left, but
the eldest girl fixed her keen and somewhat hungry eyes with a
questioning gaze on the young man who stood in the porch. He nodded back
to her a glance full of intelligence, which he further emphasized by a
quick and somewhat audacious wink from his left eye. The little girl
walked on loftily; she thought that Jasper Quentyns, who was more or
less a stranger in the neighborhood, had taken a distinct liberty.
"What's the matter, Judy?" asked the smallest of the girls.
"Nothing," replied Judy quickly. She turned to her governess as she
spoke. "Miss Mills, I was very good at my lessons to-day, wasn't I?"
"Yes, Judy."
"You are not going to forget what you promised me?"
"I am afraid I do forget; what was it?"
"You said if I were really good I might stop at the church on my way
back and go home with Hilda. I have been good, so I may go home with
Hilda, may I not?"
"Yes, child, of course, if I promised, but we are only just on our walk
now. It is a fine autumnal day, and I want to get to the woods to pick
some bracken and heather, for your Aunt Marjorie has asked me to fill
all the vases for dinner to-night. There are not half enough flowers in
the garden, so I must go to the woods, whatever happens. Your sister
will have left the church when we return, Judy."
"No, she won't," replied Judy. "The practice will be twice as long as
usual to-day because of the Harvest Festival on Sunday."
"Well, if she is there you can go in and wait for her, as you have been
a good girl. Now let us talk of something else."
"I have nothing else to talk about," answered Judy, somewhat sulkily.
The bright expression which gave her small eager face its charm, left
it; she fell back a pace or two, and Miss Mills walked on alone in
front.
Judy was not popular with her governess. Miss Mills was tired of her
constant remarks about Hilda. She had a good deal to think of to-day,
and she was pleased to let her two pupils amuse themselves.
Judy's hungry and unsatisfied eyes softened and grew happy when their
gaze fell upon Babs. Babs was only six, and she had a power of
interesting everyone with whom she came in contact. Her wise, fat face,
somewhat solemn in expression, was the essence of good-humor. Her blue
eyes were as serene as an unruffled summer pool. She could say heaps of
old-fashioned, quaint things. She had strong likes and dislikes, but she
was never known to be cross. She adored Judy, but Judy only liked her,
for all Judy's passionate love was already disposed of. It centered
itself round her eldest sister, Hilda.
The day was a late one in September. The air was still very balmy and
even warm, and Miss Mills soon found herself sufficiently tired to be
glad to take advantage of a stile which led right through the field into
the woods to rest herself. She sat comfortably on the top of the stile,
and looking down the road saw that her little pupils were disporting
themselves happily; they were not in the slightest danger, and she was
in no hurry to call them to her side.
"Children are the most fagging creatures in Christendom," she said to
herself; "for my part I can't understand anyone going into raptures over
them. For one nice child there are twenty disagreeable ones. I have
nothing to say against Babs, of course; but Judy, she is about the most
spoilt creature I ever came across, and of course it is all Hilda's
fault. I must speak to Mr. Merton, I really must, if this goes on. Hilda
and Judy ought to be parted, but of course Hilda won't leave home
unless, unless--ah, I wonder if there is _any_ chance of that. Too good
news to be true. Too good luck for Mr. Quentyns anyhow. I shouldn't be
surprised if he is trying to get Hilda all this time, but--he is
scarcely likely to succeed. Poor Judy! what a blow anything of that kind
would be to her; but of course there is not the least chance of it."
Miss Mills took off her hat as she spoke, and allowed the summer air to
play with her somewhat thin fringe and to cool her heated cheeks.
"I hate children," she soliloquized. "I did hope that my time of
servitude was nearly over, but when men prove so unfaithful!" Here a
very angry gleam flashed out of her eyes; she put her hand into her
pocket, and taking out a letter, read it slowly and carefully. Her
expression was not pleasant while she perused the words on the closely
written page.
She had just returned the letter to its envelope when a gay voice
sounded in her ears. A girl was seen walking across the field and
approaching the stile. She was a fair-haired, pretty girl, dressed in
the height of the fashion. She had a merry laugh, and a merry voice, and
two very bright blue eyes.
"How do you do, Miss Mills?" she called to her. "I am going to see
Hilda. Can you tell me if she is at home?"
"How do you do, Miss Anstruther?" replied Miss Mills; "I did not know
you had returned."
"Yes, we all came home yesterday. I am longing to see Hilda, I have such
heaps of things to tell her. Is she at the Rectory?"
"At the present moment she is very busily employed trying to train the
most unmelodious choir in Great Britain," replied Miss Mills. "The
Harvest Festival takes place on Sunday, and in consequence she has more
than usual to do."
"Ah, you need not tell me; I am not going to venture within sound of
that choir. I shall go down to the Rectory and wait until her duties are
ended. There is not the least hurry. Good-by, Miss Mills. Are the
children well?"
"You can see for yourself," replied Miss Mills; "they are coming up the
road side by side."
"Old-fashioned little pair," replied Miss Anstruther, with a laugh.
"I'll just run down the road and give them a kiss each, and then go on
to the Rectory."
Miss Mills did not say anything further. Miss Anstruther mounted the
stile, called out to the children to announce her approach, kissed them
when they met, received an earnest gaze from Judy and an indifferent one
from Babs, and went on her way.
"Do you like her, Judy?" asked Babs, when the pretty girl had left them.
"Oh, yes!" replied Judy in a careless tone; "she is well enough. I don't
love her, if that's what you mean, Babs."
"Of course it isn't what I mean," replied Babs. "How many rooms have you
got in your heart, Judy?"
"One big room quite full," replied Judy with emphasis.
"I know--it's full of Hilda."
"It is."
"I have got a good many rooms in my heart," said Babs. "Mr. Love is in
some of them, and Mr. Like is in others. Have you no room in your heart
for Mr. Like, Judy?"
"No."
"Then poor Miss Mills does not live in your heart at all?"
"No. Oh, dear! what a long walk she's going to take us to-day. If I had
known that this morning, I wouldn't have taken so much pains over my
arithmetic. I shan't have a scrap of time with Hilda. It is too bad. I
am sure Miss Mills does it to worry me. She never can bear us to be
together."
"Poor Judy!" replied Babs. "I shan't let Miss Mills live in my heart at
all if she vexes you; but oh, dear; oh, dear! Just look, do look! Do you
see that monstrous spider over there, the one with the sun shining on
his web?"
"Yes."
"Don't you love spiders?"
"Of course. I love all animals. I have a separate heart for animals."
Babs looked intensely interested.
"I love all animals too," she said, "every single one, all kinds--_even_
pigs. Don't you love pigs, Judy?"
"Of course I do."
"I wonder if Miss Mills does? There she is, reading her letter. She has
read it twenty times already to-day, so she must know it by heart now.
Let's run up and ask her if she loves pigs."
Judy quickened her steps, and the two little girls presently reached the
stile.
"Miss Mills," said Babs, in her clear voice, "we want to know something
very badly. Do you love pigs?"
"Do I love pigs?" asked Miss Mills with a start. "You ridiculous child,
what nonsense you are talking!"
"But do you?" repeated Babs. "It is most important for Judy and me to
know; for we love them, poor things--we think they're awfully nice."
Miss Mills laughed in the kind of manner which always irritated Judy.
"I am sorry not to be able to join your very peculiar hero-worship, my
dears," she said. "I can't say that I am attached to the pig."
"Then it is very wrong of you," said Judy, her eyes flashing, "when you
think of all the poor pig does for you."
"Of all the poor pig does for me! What next?"
"You wouldn't be the woman you are but for the pig," said Judy. "Don't
you eat him every day of your life for breakfast? You wouldn't be as
strong as you are but for the poor pig, and the least you can do is to
love him. I don't suppose he likes being killed to oblige you."
Judy's great eyes were flashing, and her little sensitive mouth was
quivering.
Miss Mills gave her a non-comprehending glance. She could not in the
least fathom the child's queer passionate nature. Injustice of all sorts
preyed upon Judy; she could make herself morbid on almost any theme, and
a gloomy picture now filled her little soul. The animals were giving up
their lives for the human race, and the human race did not even give
them affection in return.
"Is that letter very funny?" asked Babs.
"It is not funny, but it is interesting to me."
"Do you love the person who wrote it to you?"
Miss Mills let the sheet of closely-written paper fall upon her lap; her
eyes gazed into the child's serene and wise little face. Something
impelled her to say words which she knew could not be understood.
"I hate the person who wrote that letter more than anyone else in all
the world," she exclaimed.
There was a passionate ring in her thin voice. The emotion which filled
her voice and shone out of her eyes gave pathos to her commonplace
face. Babs began to pull a flower to pieces. She had never conjugated
the verb to hate, and did not know in the least what it meant; but Judy
looked at her governess with new interest.
"Why do you get letters from the person you hate so much?" she asked.
"Don't ask any more questions," replied Miss Mills. She folded up the
sheet of paper, slipped it into its envelope, replaced the envelope in
her pocket, and started to her feet. "Let us continue our walk," she
said. "We shall reach the woods in five minutes if we are quick."
"But," said Judy, as they went down the path across the field, "I
_should_ like to know, Miss Mills, why you get letters from a person you
hate."
"When little girls ask troublesome questions they must not expect them
to be answered," responded Miss Mills.
Judy was silent. The faint, passing interest she had experienced died
out of her face, and the rather sulky, unsatisfied expression returned
to it.
Miss Mills, whose heart was very full of something, spoke again, more to
herself than to the children.
"If there is one bigger mistake than another," she said, "it is the
mistake of being fond of any one. Oh, how silly girls are when they get
engaged to be married!"
"What's that?" asked Babs.
"I know," said Judy, who was again all curiosity and interest. "I'll
tell you another time about it, Babs. Miss Hicks in the village was
engaged, and she had a wedding in the summer. I'll tell you all about
it, Babs, if you ask me when we are going to bed to-night. Please, Miss
Mills, why is it dreadful to be engaged to be married?"
"Your troubles begin then," said Miss Mills. "Oh, don't talk to me about
it, children. May you never understand what I am suffering! Oh, the
fickleness of some people! The promises that are made only to be broken!
You trust a person, and you are ever so happy; and then you find that
you have made a great, big mistake, and you are miserable."
"Is that you, Miss Mills? Are you the miserable person?" asked Judy.
"No, no, child! I didn't say it was me. I wasn't talking of anyone in
particular, and I shouldn't even have said what I did. Forget it,
Judy--forget it, Babs. Come, let us collect the ferns."
"Suppose we find some white heather," said Babs eagerly.
"And much that's worth, too," replied Miss Mills. "I found a piece last
summer. I gave----" She sighed, and the corners of her mouth drooped.
She looked as if she were going to cry.
CHAPTER II.
THE PEOPLE WHO GET MARRIED.
Thou wert mine--all mine!...
--Where has summer fled?
Sun forgets to shine,
Clouds are overhead;
Blows a chilling blast,
Tells my frightened heart
That the hour at last
Comes when we must part.
Hurrying moments, stay,
Leave us yet alone!--
All the world grows gray,
Love, when thou art flown.
Judy's soul swelled within her when she heard the music still sending
volumes of sound out of the little church. Miss Mills had not spoken all
the way home. Babs had chattered without a moment's intermission. Her
conversation had been entirely about birds and beasts and creeping
things. Judy had replied with rather less interest than usual. She was
so anxious to hurry home, so fearful of being too late. Now it was all
right. Hilda was still in the church, and, delightful--more than
delightful--the discordant notes of the choir had ceased, and only the
delicious sounds of the organ were borne on the breeze.
"Hilda is in the church," said Judy, pulling her governess by her
sleeve. "Good-by, Miss Mills; good-by, Babs."
She rushed away, scarcely heeding her governess's voice as it called
after her to be sure to be back at the Rectory in time for tea.
The church doors were still open, but the young man in the
cricketing-flannels, who had stood in the porch when Judy had started on
her walk, was no longer to be seen. The little girl stole into the quiet
church on tip-toe, crept up to her sister Hilda's side, and lying down
on the floor, laid her head on her sister's white dress.
Judy's lips kissed the hem of the dress two or three times; then she lay
quiet, a sweet expression round her lips, a tranquil, satisfied light in
her eyes. Here she was at rest, her eager, craving heart was full and
satisfied.
"You dear little monkey!" said Hilda, pausing for a moment in her really
magnificent rendering of one of Bach's most passionate fugues. She
touched the child's head lightly with her hand as she spoke.
"Oh, don't stop, Hilda; go on. I am so happy," whispered Judy back.
Hilda smiled, and immediately resumed the music which thrilled through
and through Judy's soul.
Hilda was eighteen, and the full glory and bloom of this perfect age
surrounded her; it shone in her dark red-brown hair, and gleamed in her
brown eyes, and smiled on her lips and even echoed from her sweet voice.
Hilda would always be lovely to look at, but she had the tender radiance
of early spring about her now. Judy was not the only person who thought
her the fairest creature in the world.
While she was playing, and the influence of the music was more and more
filling her face, there came a shadow across the church door. The shadow
lengthened and grew longer, and the young man, whose smile Judy had
ignored, came softly across the church and up to Hilda's side.
"Go on playing," he said, nodding to her. "I have been waiting and
listening. I can wait and listen a little longer if you will allow me to
sit in the church."
"I shall have done in a moment," said Hilda. "I just want to choose
something for the final voluntary." She took up a book of lighter music
as she spoke, and selecting some of Haydn's sweet and gracious melodies,
began to play.
Judy stirred restlessly. Jasper Quentyns came closer, so close that his
shadow fell partly over the child as she lay on the ground, and quite
shut away the evening sunlight as it streamed over Hilda's figure.
Jasper was a musician himself, and he made comments which were listened
to attentively.
Hilda played the notes as he directed her. She brought added volume into
certain passages, she rendered the light staccato notes with precision.
"Oh, you are spoiling the playing," said Judy suddenly. She started up,
knitting her black brows and glaring angrily at Jasper Quentyns.
"You don't mean to say you are here all the time, you little puss," he
exclaimed. "I thought you and Miss Mills and Babs were miles away by
now. Why, what's the matter, child? Why do you frown at me as if I were
an ogre?"
Hilda put her arm round Judy's waist. The contact of Hilda's arm was
like balm to the child; she smiled and held out her hand penitently.
"Of course I don't think you are an ogre," she said, "but I do wish you
would let Hilda play her music her own way."
"Oh, don't talk nonsense, Judy," said Hilda; "you quite forget that Mr.
Quentyns knows a great deal more about music than I do."
"He doesn't play half nor quarter as well as you, for all that," replied
Judy, with emphasis.
Hilda bent forward and kissed her little sister on her forehead.
"We won't have any more music at present," she said, "it is time for us
to return to the house. You are going to dine at the Rectory this
evening, are you not, Mr. Quentyns?"
"If you will have me."
"Of course we shall all be delighted to have you."
"Hilda," said Judy, "do you know that Mildred Anstruther is down at the
house waiting to see you?"
A faint shadow of disappointment flitted across Hilda Merton's face--an
additional wave of color mounted to Jasper Quentyns' brow. He looked at
Hilda to see if she had noticed it; Hilda turned from him and began to
arrange her music.
"Come," she said, "we mustn't keep Mildred waiting."
"What has she come for?" asked Jasper, as the three walked down the
shady avenue.
"You know you are glad to see her," replied Hilda suddenly.
Something in her tone caused Jasper to laugh and raise his brows in
mock surprise. Judy looked eagerly from one face to the other. Her heart
began to beat with fierce dislike to Jasper. What right had he to
interfere with Hilda's music, and above all things, what right, pray,
had he to bring that tone, into Hilda's beloved voice?
Judy clasped her sister's arm with a tight pressure. In a few minutes
they reached the old-fashioned and cozy Rectory.
The Rector was pacing about in the pleasant evening sunshine, and
Mildred Anstruther was walking by his side and chatting to him.
"Oh, here you are," said Mildred, running up to her friend and greeting
her with affection; "and you have come too, Mr. Quentyns?--this is a
delightful surprise."
"You had better run into the house now, Judy," said Hilda. "Yes,
darling, go at once."
"May I come down after dinner to-night, Hilda?"
"You look rather pale, Judy, and as we are having friends to dinner it
may be best for you to go to bed early," said another voice. It
proceeded from the comfortable, good-natured mouth of Aunt Marjorie.
"No, no, Aunt Maggie, you won't send me to bed. Hilda, you'll plead for
me, won't you?" gasped Judy.
"I think she may come down just for half an hour, auntie," said Hilda,
smiling.
"Well, child, it must be as you please; of course we all know who spoils
Judy."
"Of course we all know who loves Judy," said Hilda. "Now are you
satisfied, my sweet? Run away; be the best of good children. Eat a
hearty tea; don't think of any trouble. Oh, Judy! what a frown you have
between your brows; let me kiss it away. I'll find you in the drawing
room after dinner."
"And you'll come and talk to me if only for one minute. Promise,
promise, Hilda!"
"Of course I promise; now run off."
Judy went slowly away. She thought the grown people very unkind to
dismiss her. She was interested in all people who were grown up; she had
not a great deal of sympathy with children--she felt that she did not
quite belong to them. The depths of her thoughts, the intense pathos of
her unsatisfied affections were incomprehensible to most children. Hilda
understood her perfectly, and even Aunt Marjorie and her father were
more agreeable companions than Miss Mills and Babs.
There was no help for it, however. Judy was a schoolroom child, and
back to the schoolroom and to Miss Mills' dull society she must go.
Swinging her hat on her arm she walked slowly down the long, cool stone
passage which led from the principal hall to the schoolroom regions. A
maidservant of the name of Susan hurried past her with the tray which
contained the schoolroom tea in her hands.
"You must be quick, Miss Judy, I am bringing in the tea," she said.
Judy frowned. She did not think it at all necessary for Susan to remind
her of her rather disagreeable duties. Instead of hurrying to the
schoolroom she stood still and looked out of one of the windows. The
words Miss Mills had uttered as they walked across the fields to the
wood kept returning to her memory. In some curious, undefined,
uncomfortable way she connected them with her sister Hilda. What did
they mean? Why was it dreadful to be engaged to be married? Why were
some people so fickle, and why were promises broken? Judy had never seen
Miss Mills so excited before.
"She looked quite interesting when she spoke in that voice," said Judy
to herself. "What did she mean? what could she mean? She said it was
dreadful to be married, and dreadful to be engaged. I think I'll go and
ask Mrs. Sutton. I don't care if I am a bit late for tea. The worst
Miss Mills will do is to give me some poetry to learn, and I like
learning poetry. Yes, I'll go and see Mrs. Sutton. She was married
twice, so she must have been engaged twice. She must know all--all about
it. She's a much better judge than Miss Mills, who never was married at
all."
Judy opened a baize door, which shut behind her with a bang. She went
down a few steps, and a moment later was standing in a comfortably
furnished sitting room which belonged to the housekeeper, Mrs. Sutton.
Mrs. Sutton was a stout, portly old lady. She had twinkling good-humored
eyes, a mouth which smiled whenever she looked at a child, and a
constant habit of putting her hand into her pocket and taking out a
lollipop. This lollipop found its way straight into the receptive mouth
of any small creature of the human race who came in her way.
"Is that you, Miss Judy?" she said now, turning round and setting down
her own cup of strong tea. "Come along, my pet, and give me a kiss. What
do you say to this?" She held a pink sugar-stick between her finger and
thumb. "I suppose you'll want another for Miss Babs, bless her!"
"Yes, thank you, Sutton," replied Judy. "Will you lay them on the
table, please, and I'll take them when I am going away. Sutton, I want
to talk to you about a _very_ private matter."
"Well, darling--bless your dear heart, your secrets are safe enough with
me."
"Oh, it isn't exactly a secret, Sutton--it is something I want to know.
Is it a dreadful thing to be engaged to be married?"
"Bless us and save us!" said Mrs. Sutton. She flopped down again on her
seat, and her red face grew purple. "Are you quite well, Miss Judy? You
haven't been reading naughty books now, that you shouldn't open? What
could put such thoughts into the head of a little miss like you?"
"Please answer me, Sutton, it is most important. Is it dreadful to be
engaged to be married? and are people fickle? and are promises broken?"
"But, my dear----"
"Will you answer me, dear, kind Sutton?"
"Well, Miss Judy, well--anything to please you, dearie--it all depends."
"What does it depend on?"
"Taken from the female point of view, it depends on the sort the young
man is; but, my darling, it's many and many a long day before you need
worrit yourself with such matters."
"But I want to know," persisted Judy. "People do get married. You were
married twice yourself, Sutton; you told me so once."
"So I was dear, and both my wedding gowns are in a trunk upstairs. My
first was a figured sateen, a buff-colored ground with red flowers
thrown over it. My second was a gray poplin. I was supposed to do very
well with my second marriage, Miss Judy."
"Then you were twice engaged, and twice married," said Judy. "I don't
want to hear about the wedding gowns, Sutton. I am rather in a hurry. I
want you to tell me about the other things. What were they like--the
being engaged, and the being married? Was the person fickle, and did he
break his promise?"
For some reason or other Mrs. Sutton's face became so deeply flushed
that she looked quite angry.
"I'll tell you what it is, Miss Judy," she said, "someone is putting
thoughts into your head what oughtn't to do it. You are a motherless
child, and there's someone filling your head with arrant nonsense. What
do you know about engagements and--and disappointments, and dreams what
proves but early mists of the morning? what do you know of fickleness
and broken promises? There, child, you won't get any of that bad sort of
knowledge out of me. Now you run away, dearie. There's someone been
talking about what they oughtn't to, and you has no call to listen, my
pet. There's some weddings happy, and there's some that aint, and that's
all I can say. Run away now, Miss Judy."
CHAPTER III.
A QUESTION AND AN ANSWER.
When some belovèd voice that was to you
Both sound and sweetness, faileth suddenly,
And silence against which you dare not cry
Aches round you like a strong disease and new--
What hope? what help? what music will undo
That silence to your sense?
--E. BARRETT BROWNING.
Hilda Merton stood in a rather irresolute fashion in her bedroom.
Several people were coming to dine at the Rectory to-night, and she, as
the young mistress of the establishment, ought to be in the drawing room
even now, waiting to receive her guests. The Rector was a very wealthy
man, and all those luxuries surrounded Hilda which are the portion of
those who are gently nurtured and well-born. Her maid had left the room,
the young girl's simple white dress was arranged to perfection, her
lovely hair was coiled becomingly around her shapely head. She was
standing before her looking-glass, putting the final touches to her
toilet.
For some reason they took a long time to put. Hilda gazed into the
reflection of her own pretty face as if she saw it not. Her brown eyes
looked through the mirrored eyes in the glass with an almost abstracted
expression. Suddenly a smile flitted across her face.
"I'll do it," she exclaimed. "I'll wear his white rose. He may think
what he pleases. I--I do love him with all my heart and soul."
She blushed as she uttered these last words, and looked in a
half-frightened way across the room, as if by chance someone might have
overheard her.
The next moment the white rose was snugly peeping out from among the
coils of her rich hair. Her dress was fastened at the throat with a
pearl brooch. She was in simple white from top to toe.
"How late you are, Hilda," said Aunt Marjorie. "I was getting quite
nervous. You know I hate to be alone in the drawing room when our
visitors come; and really, my love, what a simple dress--nothing but a
washing muslin. Did not you hear your father say that the Dean and Mrs.
Sparks were coming to dinner to-night?"
"Of course I did, Aunt Marjorie. The cook also knows that the Dean is
coming to dine. Now don't fret, there's a dear. I look nice, don't I?
that's the main thing."
"Yes, Hilda, you look beautiful," said Aunt Marjorie solemnly; "but
after all, when you have a new pink chiffon and--and----"
"Hush, auntie dear, I see the Dean stepping out of his brougham."
The other guests followed the Dean and Mrs. Sparks almost immediately.
Dinner was announced, and the party withdrew to the dining room.
Hilda, in her white dress with her happy sunshiny face, was the
principal object of attraction at this dinner. There were two or three
young men present, and they looked at her a good deal. Jasper Quentyns
favored her with one quick glance; he was sitting at the far end of the
table, and a very pretty girl was placed at his side. He saw the rose in
Hilda's hair, and his heart beat quickly; his spirits rose several
degrees, and he became so delightful and communicative to his neighbor
that she thought him quite the pleasantest and handsomest man she had
ever met.
Quentyns did not glance again at Hilda. He was satisfied, for he felt
pretty sure that a certain question which he meant to ask would be
answered in the way he wished.
The dinner came to an end, and the ladies withdrew into the drawing
room. Two little figures in white dresses were waiting to receive them.
Babs trotted everywhere, and was universally admired, petted, and
praised. Judy stood in the shadow behind one of the curtains and watched
Hilda.
"Come out, Judy, and be sociable," said her sister.
"I don't want to talk. I am so happy here, Hilda," she replied.
"I do like spiders when they are very, very fat," sounded Babs' voice
across the room.
"Oh, you droll little creature!" exclaimed a lady who sat near; "why, I
should fly from a spider any distance."
"Perhaps you like earwigs better," said Babs.
"Earwigs, they are horrors; oh, you quaint, quaint little soul."
Babs did not care to be called a quaint little soul. She trotted across
the room and stood by Judy's side.
"There's nobody at all funny here," she said in a whisper. "I wish I had
my Kitty Tiddliwinks to play with; I don't care for fine ladies."
"It is time for you to go to bed, Babs," said Judy.
"No, it isn't. I am not going before you go. You always talk as if I
were a baby, and I aren't. Judy, you might tell me now what it is to be
engaged to be married."
"No, I can't tell you now," said Judy; "the gentlemen are coming in, and
we mustn't talk and interrupt. If you won't go to bed you must stay
quiet. You know if Aunt Marjorie sees you she'll send you off at once;
now they are going to sing; ah, that'll be jolly. You stay quiet, Babs,
and listen."
Four young men surrounded the piano. Jasper Quentyns was one; Hilda
played the accompaniment. The four voices did ample justice to the
beautiful glee--"Men were deceivers ever." The well-known words were
applauded vigorously, the applause rose to an encore. Judy listened as
if fascinated.
"Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,
Men were deceivers ever;
One foot in sea and one on shore,
To one thing constant never.
Then sigh not so,
But let them go ..."
"Yes, that's the right thing to do," said Judy, turning round and fixing
her bright eyes on Babs.
"How funny you look," said Babs; "_you_ ought to go to bed."
"Come, Barbara, what is this about?" said Aunt Marjorie's voice. "You
up still--what can Miss Mills be thinking of? Now, little girls, it is
nine o'clock, and you must both go away. Good-night, Babs dear;
good-night, Judy."
"Mayn't I say good-night to Hilda?" whispered Judy.
"No, she's busy; run away this moment. Judy, if you question me I shall
have to appeal to your father. Now, my loves, go."
The little girls left the room, Babs complacently enough, Judy
unwillingly. Babs was sleepy, and was very glad to lay her little head
on her white pillow; but sleep was very far away from Judy's eyes.
The little girls' bedroom was over a portion of the drawing room. They
could hear the waves of the music and the light conversation and the gay
laughter as they lay in their cots. The sounds soon mingled with Babs'
dreams, but Judy felt more restless and less sleepy each moment.
Miss Mills had entire care of the children. She dressed them and
undressed them as well as taught them. She had left them now for the
night. Miss Mills at this moment was writing an indignant letter in
reply to the one which had so excited her feelings this morning. Her
schoolroom was far away. Judy knew that she was safe. If she got out of
bed, no one would hear her. In her little white night-dress she stole
across the moonlit floor and crept up to the window. She softly
unfastened the hasp and flung the window open. She could see down into
the garden, and could almost hear the words spoken in the drawing room.
Two figures had stepped out of the conservatory and side by side were
walking across the silvered lawn.
Judy's heart beat with great thumps--one of these people was her sister
Hilda, the other was Jasper Quentyns. They walked side by side, keeping
close to one another. Their movements were very slow, they were talking
almost in whispers. Hilda's head only reached to Jasper's shoulder; he
was bending down over her. Presently he took her hand. Judy felt as if
she should scream.
"He's a horrid, horrid, wicked man," she said under her breath; "he's a
deceiver. 'Men were deceivers ever.' I know what he is. Oh, what shall I
do? what shall I do? Oh, Hilda, oh, Hilda, darling, you shan't go
through the misery of being engaged and then being married. Oh, oh, what
shall I do to save you, Hilda?"
Quentyns and Hilda were standing still. They had moved out of the line
of light which streamed from the drawing room, and were standing under
the shadow of a great beech tree. Judy felt that she could almost hear
their words. From where she leant out of the window she could certainly
see their actions. Quentyns stooped suddenly and kissed Hilda on her
forehead; Hilda looked up at him and laid both her hands in his. He
folded them in a firm pressure, and again stooping, kissed her twice.
Upstairs in the nursery, misery was filling one little heart to the
brim. A sob caught Judy's breath--she felt as if she should choke. She
dared not look any more, but drawing down the blind, crept back into bed
and covered her head with the bed-clothes.
In the drawing room the guests stopped on, and never missed the two who
had stolen away across the moonlit lawn. One girl, it is true, might
have been noticed to cast some anxious glances toward the open window,
and the companion who talked to her could not help observing that she
scarcely replied to his remarks, and was not fully alive to his
witticisms; but the rest of the little world jogged on its way merrily
enough, unconscious of the Paradise which was so close to them in the
Rectory garden, and of the Purgatory which one little soul was enduring
upstairs.
"Hilda," said Quentyns, when they had stood for some time under the
beech tree, and had said many things each to the other, and felt a great
deal more than could ever be put into words. "Hilda," said Quentyns, and
all the poetry of the lovely summer evening seemed to have got into his
eyes and filled his voice, "I give you all, remember, all that a man can
give. I give you the love of my entire heart. My present is yours, my
future is to be yours. I live for you, Hilda--I shall always live for
you. Think what that means."
"I can quite understand it," replied Hilda, "for I also live for you. I
am yours, Jasper, for now and always."
"And I am a very jealous man," said Quentyns. "When I give all, I like
to get all."
Hilda laughed.
"How solemnly you speak," she said, stepping back a pace, and an almost
imperceptible jar coming into her voice. Then she came close again. "The
fault you will have to find with me is this, Jasper," she said, looking
fully at him with her sweet eyes; "I shall love you, if anything, too
well. No one can ever come between us, unless it is dear little Judy."
"Judy! Don't you think you make too much fuss about that child? She is
such a morbid little piece of humanity."
"Not a bit of it. You don't quite understand her. She and I are much
more than ordinary sisters to each other. I feel as if I were in a
certain sense Judy's mother. When mother died she left Judy to me.
Little darling! No one ever had a more faithful or a nobler heart. You
must get fond of her too, for my sake; won't you, Jasper?"
"I'll do anything for your sake, you know that, Hilda. But don't let us
talk of Judy any more just now--let us----"
"Mr. Quentyns, is that your voice I hear?" called Aunt Marjorie, from
the drawing room. "And, Hilda, ought you to be out with the dew falling
so heavily?"
CHAPTER IV.
CHANGES.
Sing on! we sing in the glorious weather
Till one steps over the tiny strand,
So narrow in sooth, that still together
On either brink we go hand in hand.
The beck grows wider, the hands must sever,
On either margin our songs all done;
We move apart, while she singeth ever,
Taking the course of the stooping sun.
--JEAN INGELOW.
About a week after Hilda Merton's engagement, just when her friends were
full of the event, and congratulations began to pour in on all sides,
there came a very unexpected blow to the inmates of the peaceful and
pretty Rectory.
The parish of Little Staunton was large and scattered; it stretched away
at one side down to the sea, at another it communicated with great open
moors and tracts of the outlying lands of the New Forest. It was but
sparsely peopled, and those parishioners who lived in small cottages by
the sea, and who earned their living as fishermen, were most of them
very poor. Mr. Merton, however, was one of the ideal sort of rectors,
who helped his flock with temporal as well as spiritual benefits. The
stipend which he received from the church was not a large one, and every
penny of it was devoted to the necessities of his poor parishioners.
There came an awful morning, therefore, when a short announcement in the
local paper, and a long letter from Mr. Merton's lawyer, acquainted him
with the fact that the Downshire County Bank had stopped payment. In
plain language, Mr. Merton, from being a wealthy man, became suddenly a
very poor one.
Aunt Marjorie cried when she heard the news; Hilda's face turned very
pale, and Judy and Babs, who were both in the room at the time, felt
that sort of wonder and perplexity which children do experience when
they know something is dreadfully wrong, but cannot in the least
understand what it is.
In the course of the morning Hilda went to her father in his study.
Her face was very white as she opened the door, some of the young soft
lines of her early youth seemed to have left it; her beautiful brown
eyes looked in a heavy sort of fashion out at the world from their dark
surroundings. She came up to her father, and put her hand on his
shoulder. He was bending over his desk, busily writing.
"What is the matter, Hilda?" he asked, glancing up at her with a quick
start, and an endeavor to make his voice sound as usual.
"I--I have come, father, to say that if you like, I--I will give up my
engagement to Jasper Quentyns."
Mr. Merton rose from his seat and put his arm round her neck.
"My dear child," he said, "it is my comfort to-day to know that you, at
least, are provided for. Quentyns is fairly well off. If he will take
you without any fortune, there is certainly no reason why you should not
go to him."
"Money can't make any difference to Jasper," said Hilda, just a little
proudly, although her lips trembled; "but I--it seems wrong that I
should be so happy when the rest of you are so miserable."
"Tut, tut!" said the Rector. "I shall get over this in time. I own that
just now the blow is so severe that I can scarcely quite realize it.
When I opened my eyes this morning, I was pleasantly conscious that I
was the possessor of a private income of quite two thousand a year; I
felt this fact in the comforts that surrounded me, and the ease which
filled my life. Except that small stipend which is represented by my
living, and which I have always hitherto devoted to the poor of the
flock, I am now reduced to nothing a year. My poor must divide my money
with me in future, that is all; I don't intend to be miserable when I
get accustomed to the change, Hilda. I must dismiss most of the
servants, and give up the carriage and horses, and live as a poor man
instead of a rich one; but I owe no man anything, my dear, and I have
not the least doubt there is a certain zest in poverty which will make
the new order of things agreeable enough when once I get used to it."
The tears gathered slowly in Hilda's eyes.
"I don't feel as if I could quite bear it," she said, with a sob.
The Rector, who was always rather absent-minded, and had a dreamy way of
looking far ahead even when he was most roused, scarcely noticed Hilda's
tears. He talked on in a monotonous sort of voice:
"I have not the least doubt that poverty has its alleviations. I have
heard it more than once remarked that the hand-to-mouth existence is the
most stimulating in the world. I should not be surprised, Hilda, if my
sermons took a turn for the better after this visitation. I have
preached to my flock, year in, year out, that the mysterious ways of
Providence are undoubtedly the best--I have got to act up to my
preaching now, that is all."
The Rector sat down again and continued to write a very unbusiness-like
letter to his lawyer; Hilda stood and looked at him with a frown between
her brows, and then went slowly out of the room.
Aunt Marjorie, who had cried herself nearly sick, and whose eyes between
their swollen lids were scarcely visible, came to meet her as she walked
across the hall.
"Oh, my darling," she said, with a fresh sob, "how can I bear to look at
you when I think of all your young life blighted in a moment! Oh, those
wicked Bank Directors. They deserve hanging! yes, I should hang them one
and all. And so you have been with my poor brother? I would not venture
near him. How is he taking it, Hilda? Is he quite off his head, poor,
dear man?"
"How do you think my father would take a blow of this kind?" said Hilda.
"Come into the drawing room, Auntie. Oh, Auntie dear, do try to stop
crying. You don't know what father is. Of course I can't pretend to
understand him, but he is quite noble--he is splendid; he makes me
believe in religion. A man must be very, very good to talk as father
has just done."
"Poor Samuel!" said Aunt Marjorie. "I knew that he would take this blow
either as a saint or as an idiot--I don't know which is the most trying.
You see, Hilda, my love, your father has never had anything to do with
the petty details of housekeeping. This parish brings in exactly three
hundred and fifty pounds a year; how are we to pay the wages of nine
servants, and how are the gardeners to be paid, and the little girls'
governess, and--and how is this beautiful house to be kept up on a
pittance of that sort? Oh, dear; oh, dear! Your father will just say to
me, 'I know, Marjorie, that you will do your best,' and then he'll
forget that there is such a thing as money; but I shall never be able to
forget it, Hilda. Oh, dear; oh, dear! I do think saintly men are awful
trials."
"But you said just now you thought he would be off his head. You ought
to be very thankful, Aunt Maggie, that he is taking things as he is. Of
course the servants must go away, and the establishment must be put on
an altogether new footing. You'll have to walk instead of ride in
future, but I don't suppose Judy and Babs will much care, and I----"
"Oh, yes," said Aunt Marjorie, "you will be in your new house in
London, new-fangled with your position, and highly pleased and proud to
put Mrs. before your name, and you'll forget all about us. Of course I
am pleased for you, but you're just as bad as your father when you talk
in that cool fashion about dismissing the servants, and when you expect
an old lady like me to tramp all over the place on my feet."
"I told father that if he wished I would break off my engagement."
Aunt Marjorie dried her eyes when her niece made this speech, and looked
at her fixedly.
"I do think," she said, "that you're a greater fool even than poor
Samuel. Is not your engagement to a nice, gentlemanly, clever man like
Jasper Quentyns the one ray of brightness in this desolate day? You,
child, at least are provided for."
"I wonder if you think that I care about being provided for at this
juncture?" answered Hilda, knitting her brows once again in angry
perplexity.
She went away to her own room, and sitting before her desk, wrote a long
letter to her lover.
Quentyns had been called to the Bar, and was already beginning to
receive "briefs."
His income was by no means large, however, and although he undoubtedly
loved Hilda for her own sake, he might not have proposed an immediate
marriage had he not believed that his pretty bride would not come to him
penniless.
Hilda sat with her pen in her hand, looking down at the blank sheet of
paper.
By the same post which had brought the lawyer's dreadful letter there
had come two closely-written sheets from Jasper. He wanted Hilda to
marry him in the autumn, and he had already begun house-hunting.
"We might find it best to take a small flat for a year," he had written,
"but if you would rather have a house, darling, say so. Some people
don't approve of flats. They say they are not so wholesome. One misses
the air of the staircase, and there is a certain monotony in living
altogether on one floor which may not be quite conducive to health. On
the other hand flats are compact, and one knows almost at a glance what
one's expenses are likely to be. I have been consulting Rivers--you know
how often I have talked to you of my friend Archie Rivers--and he thinks
on the whole that a flat would be advisable; we avoid rates and taxes
and all those sort of worries, and if we like to shut up house for a
week, and run down to the Rectory, why there we are, you know; for the
house-porter sees to our rooms, and we run no risk from burglars. But
what do you say yourself, darling, for that is the main point?"
Hilda had read this letter with a beating heart and a certain pleasant
sense of exhilaration at breakfast that morning, but then this was
before the blow came--before Aunt Marjorie's shriek had sounded through
the room, and before Hilda had caught a glimpse of her father's face
with the gray tint spreading all over it, before she had heard his
tremulous words:
"Yes, Marjorie! God help us! We are ruined."
Hilda read the letter now with very different feelings; somehow or other
all the rose light had gone out of it. She was a very inexperienced girl
as far as money matters were concerned. Until to-day money seemed to
have little part or lot in her life; it had never stirred her nature to
its depths, it had kindly supplied her with necessities and luxuries; it
had gilded everything, but she had never known where the gilt came from.
When she engaged herself to Jasper, he told her that, for the present at
least, he was a comparatively poor man; he had three hundred a year of
his own. This he assured her was a mere bagatelle, but as he was almost
certain to earn as much more in his profession, and as Hilda had money,
he thought they might marry if she did not mind living very prudently.
Of course Hilda did not mind--she knew nothing at all of the money part.
The whole thing meant love and poetry to her, and she disliked the word
money coming into it.
To-day, however, things looked different. For the first time she got a
glimpse of Tragedy. How mean of it, how horrible of it to come in this
guise! She pressed her hand to her forehead, and wondered what her lover
could mean when he talked of rates and taxes, and asked her to decide
between a flat and a house.
"I don't know what to say," she murmured to herself. "Perhaps we shall
not be married at all at present. Perhaps Jasper will say we can't
afford it. Perhaps I ought to answer his question about the flat--but I
don't know what to say. I thought we might have had a cottage somewhere
in one of the suburbs--with a little garden, and that I might have kept
fowls, and have had heaps and heaps of flowers. Surely fowls would be
economical, but I am sure I can't say. I really don't know anything
whatever about the matter."
"Why are you talking in that funny way half-aloud to yourself, Hilda?"
asked a little voice with a sad inflection in it.
Hilda slightly turned her head and saw that Judy had softly opened the
door of her bedroom, and was standing in the entrance.
Judy had an uncertain manner about her which was rather new to her
character, and her face had a somewhat haggard look, unnatural and not
pleasant to see in so young a child.
"Oh, pet, is that you?" said Hilda. "Come and give me a kiss--I am just
longing for you--you're the person of all others to consult. Come along
and sit down by me. Now, now--you don't want to strangle me, do you?"
For Judy had rushed upon her sister like a little whirlwind, her strong
childish arms were flung with almost ferocious tightness round Hilda's
neck, the skirt of her short frock had swept Jasper's letter to the
floor, and even upset an ink-pot in its voluminous sweep.
"Oh, oh!" said Hilda, "I must wipe up this mess. There, Judy, keep back
for a moment; it will get upon the carpet, and spoil it if we are not as
quick as possible. Hand me that sheet of blotting-paper, dear. There
now, that is better--I have stopped the stream from descending too far.
Why, Judith, my dear, you have tears in your eyes. You don't suppose I
care about the ink being spilt when I get a hug like that from you."
"I wasn't crying about the ink," said Judy; "what's ink! The tears came
because I am so joyful."
"You joyful? and to-day?" said Hilda. "You know what has happened, don't
you, Judy?"
"We are poor instead of rich," said Judy; "what's that? Oh, I am so
happy--I am so awfully happy that I scarcely know what to do."
"What a queer little soul you are! Now, now, am I to be swept up in
another embrace?"
"Oh, yes, let me, let me--I haven't kissed you like this since you,
you--you got _engaged_."
"In what a spiteful way you say that last word, Judy; now I come to
think of it, we _have_ scarcely kissed each other since. But whose fault
was that? Not mine, I am sure. I was quite hungry for one of your
kisses, jewel, and now that I have got it I feel ever so much better.
Sit down by me, and let us talk. Judy, you are a very wise little
darling, aren't you?"
"I don't know. If you think so, you darling, I suppose I am."
"I do think so. I have had a letter from Jasper. I want to talk over
something he says in it with you. Judy dear, he is such a noble fellow."
Judy shut up her firm lips until they looked like a straight line across
her face.
"He's such a noble fellow," repeated Hilda. "I can't tell you how glad
you ought to be to have the prospect of calling a man like Jasper your
brother; he'll be a great help to you, Judy, by and by."
"No, he won't--I don't want him to be," said Judy viciously.
"Why, I declare, I do believe the dear is jealous; but now to go on.
Jasper has written to me on a most important subject. Now, if I consult
you about it you won't ever, ever tell, will you?"
"No, of course I won't. Was it about that you were muttering to yourself
when I came into the room?"
"You funny puss; yes, I was talking the matter over to myself. Jasper is
looking out for a house for us."
"He isn't. It's awfully cheeky of him."
"My dear Judy, it would be much more cheeky to ask me to go and live in
the street with him. We must have some residence after we are
married--mustn't we? Well, darling, now you must listen very
attentively; he has asked me whether it would be best for us to live in
a little house of our own----"
"Why a little house? he ought to take you to a palace."
"Don't interrupt; we shall be poor people, quite a poor couple, Jasper
and I. Now, Judy, just try and get as wise as a Solon. He wants to know
whether I would rather live in a little house or a flat."
"What's a flat, Hilda?"
"I don't quite know myself; but I believe a flat consists of several
rooms on one floor shut away from the rest of the house by a separate
hall door. Jasper rather approves of a flat, because he says there won't
be any rates and taxes. It's very silly, but though I am a grown-up
girl, I don't exactly know what rates and taxes are--do you?"
"No, but I can ask Miss Mills."
"I don't expect she'd know anything about them; it seems so stupid to
have to write back and tell Jasper that I don't understand what he
means."
"Aunt Marjorie would know," said Judy.
"I shouldn't like to consult her, pet. I think I'd better leave it to
Jasper to decide."
Judy looked very wise and interested now.
"Why don't you say you'd rather go into a little house?" she said; "it
sounds much more interesting. A flat is an ugly name, and I am quite
sure it must be an ugly place."
"That is true," said Hilda, pausing and looking straight before her
with her pretty brows knit. "Oh, dear, oh, dear! I wonder what is right.
And a little house might have a garden too, mightn't it, Judy?"
"Of course, and a fowl-house and a cote for your pigeons."
"To be sure; and when you come to see me, you should have a strip of
garden to dig in all for yourself."
"Oh, should I really come to see you, Hilda? Miss Mills said that you
wouldn't want me--that you wouldn't be bothered with me."
"That I wouldn't be bothered with you? Why, I shall wish to have you
with me quite half the time. Now, now, am I to be strangled again?
Please, Judy, abstain from embracing, and tell me whether we are to have
a flat or a cottage."
"Of course you are to have a cottage, with the garden and the
fowl-house."
"I declare I think I'll take your advice, you little dear. I'll write
and tell Jasper that I'd much rather have a cottage. Now, who is that
knocking at the door? Run, Judy, and see what's wanted."
Judy returned in a moment with a telegram.
Hilda tore it open with fingers that slightly trembled.
"Oh, how joyful, how joyful!" she exclaimed.
"What is it?" asked Judy.
"Jasper is coming--my dear, dear Jasper. See what he says--'Have heard
the bad news--my deepest sympathy--expect me this evening.' Then I
needn't write after all. Judy, Judy, I agree with you; I feel quite
happy, even though it is the dreadful day when the blow has been
struck."
Judy did not say anything, she rose languidly to her feet.
"Where are you going?" asked Hilda.
"For a walk."
"Why so?"
"Miss Mills said that even though we were poor I was to take the fresh
air," replied the child in a prim little voice, out of which all the
spirit had gone.
She kissed Hilda, but no longer in a rapturous, tempestuous fashion, and
walked soberly out of the room.
CHAPTER V.
IN A GARDEN.
I go like one in a dream, unbidden my feet know the way,
To that garden where love stood in blossom with the red and
white hawthorn of May.
--MATHILDE BLIND.
Aunt Marjorie had cried until she could cry no longer. Hers was a
slighter nature than either Mr. Merton's or Hilda's. In consequence,
perhaps, she was able to realize the blow which had come upon them more
vividly and more quickly than either her brother or niece.
Aunt Marjorie had taken a great pride in the pretty, well-ordered house.
She was a capable, a kind, and a considerate mistress. Her servants
worked well under her guidance. She was set in authority over them; they
liked her rule, and acknowledged it with cheerful and willing service.
No one could give such perfect little dinner-parties as Aunt Marjorie.
She had a knack of finding out each of her guests' particular weaknesses
with regard to the dinner-table. She was no diplomatist, and her
conversation was considered prosy; but with Mr. Merton to act the
perfect host and to lead the conversation into the newest intellectual
channels, with Hilda to look sweet and gracious and beautiful, and with
Aunt Marjorie to provide the dinner, nothing could have been a greater
success than the little party which took place on an average once a week
at the sociable Rectory.
Now all these things were at an end. The servants must go; the large
house--which had been added to from time to time by the Rector until it
had lost all similitude to the ordinary small and cozy Rectory--the
great house must remain either partly shut up or only half cleaned.
There must be no more dinner-parties, and no nice carriage for Aunt
Marjorie to return calls in. The vineries and conservatories must remain
unheated during the winter; the gardeners must depart. Weeds must grow
instead of flowers.
Alack, and alas! Aunt Marjorie felt like a shipwrecked mariner, as she
sat now in the lovely drawing room and looked out over the summer scene.
With her mind's eye she was gazing at something totally different--she
was seeing the beautiful place as it would look in six months' time; she
saw with disgust the rank and obnoxious weeds, the empty grate, the
dust-covered ornaments.
"It is worse for us than it would be for ordinary people," she said half
aloud. "If we were just ordinary people, we could leave here and go into
a tiny cottage where our surroundings would be in keeping with our
means; but of course the Rector must live in the Rectory--at least I
suppose so. Dear, dear! how sudden this visitation has been--truly may
it be said that 'all flesh is grass.'"
Aunt Marjorie had a way of quoting sentences which did not at all apply
to the occasion; these quotations always pleased her, however, and a
slow smile now played round her lips.
The drawing-room door was opened noisily, and a fat little figure rushed
across the room and sprang into her arms.
"Is that you, Babs?" she said. She cuddled the child in a close embrace,
and kissed her smooth, cool cheek many times.
"Yes, of course it's me," said Babs, in her matter-of-fact voice. "Your
eyes are quite red, Auntie. Have you been crying?"
"We have had dreadful trouble, my darling--poor Auntie feels very
miserable--it is about father. Your dear father has lost all his money,
my child."
"Miss Mills told me that half an hour ago," said Babs; "that's why I
wanted to see you, Auntie. I has got half a sovereign in the Savings
Bank. I'll give it to father if he wants it."
"You're a little darling," said Aunt Marjorie, kissing her again.
"There's Judy going across the garden," said Babs. "Look at her, she has
her shoulders hunched up to her ears. She's not a bit of good; she won't
play with me nor nothing."
"That child doesn't look at all well," said Aunt Marjorie.
She started to her feet, putting Babs on the floor. A new anxiety and a
new interest absorbed her mind.
"Judy, Judy," she called; "come here, child. I have noticed for the last
week," she said, speaking her thoughts aloud, "that Judy has black lines
under her eyes, and a dragged sort of look about her. What can it mean?"
"She cries such a lot," said Babs in her untroubled voice. "I hear her
when she's in bed at night. I thought she had she-cups, but it wasn't,
it was sobs."
"_She-cups_--what do you mean, child? Judy, come here, darling."
"She-cups," repeated Babs. "Some people call them he-cups; but I don't
when a girl has them."
Judy came slowly up to the window.
"Where were you going, my pet?" asked Aunt Marjorie.
"Only for a walk," she answered.
"A walk all by yourself? How pale you are, dearie. Have you a headache?"
"No, Auntie."
Aunt Marjorie pulled Judy forward. She felt her forehead and looked at
her tongue, and put her in such a position that she could gaze down into
her throat.
Not being able to detect anything the matter, she thought it best to
scold her niece a little.
"Little girls oughtn't to walk slowly and to be dismal," she said. "It
is very wrong and ungrateful of them. They ought to run about and skip
and laugh. Work while you work, and play while you play. That was the
motto when I was a little girl. Now, Judy, love, go out with Babs and
have a good romp. You had better both of you go to the hay-field, for it
might distract your poor father to hear your two merry voices. Run, my
dears, run; make yourselves scarce."
"Come, Babs," said Judy. She held out her hand to her little sister,
and the two went away together.
"Do you know, Judy," said Babs, the moment they were out of Aunt
Marjorie's hearing, "that I saw a quarter of an hour ago a great big
spider in the garden catching a wasp. He rolled the poor wasp round and
round with his web until he made him into a ball."
"And did you leave that poor wasp to die?" asked Judy, keen interest and
keen anger coming into her voice.
"No, I didn't," said Babs. "I took him away from the spider. I wouldn't
be kite so cruel as to let the poor thing die; but I s'pect he'll die
all the same, for he can't get out of the ball that he's in."
"Poor darling!" said Judy. "Let's go and find him and try to get the web
off him. Do you know where he is, Babs?"
"I put him on an ivy leaf on the ground," said Babs, "under the yew-tree
down there. I can find him in a minute."
"Well, let's go and save him as quickly as possible."
The two children rushed with eagerness and vigor down the slops.
Aunt Marjorie could see them as they disappeared out of sight.
She turned to weep and bewail herself once more, and Judy and Babs
began industriously to look for the wasp.
They were busily engaged on their hands and knees searching all over the
ground for the identical ivy leaf where Babs had placed the rescued
insect, when a voice sounded in their ears, and Judy raised her head to
see pretty Mildred Anstruther standing by her side.
Mildred was one of the belles of the county; her hair was as bright as a
sunbeam, her eyes as blue as a summer sky, her full lips were red, her
cheeks had the bloom of the peach upon them. Mildred was a well-grown
girl, with a largely and yet gracefully developed figure.
In addition to her personal charms she had a considerable fortune. It
went without saying, therefore, that she was greatly admired.
Mildred had often been the talk of Little Staunton; her numerous
flirtations had caused head-shakings and dismal croaks from many of the
old maids of the neighborhood. The sterner sex had owned to
heart-burnings in connection with her, for Mildred could flirt and
receive any amount of attention without giving her heart in return. She
was wont to laugh at love affairs, and had often told Hilda that the
prince to whom alone she would give her affections was scarcely likely
to appear.
"The time when gods used to walk upon the earth is over, my dear Hilda,"
she used to say. "When I find the perfect man, I will marry him, but not
before."
Mildred, who was twenty-six years of age, had therefore the youngest and
smoothest of faces; care had never touched her life, and wrinkles were
unlikely to visit her.
For some reason, however, she looked careworn now, and Judy, with a
child's quick perception, noticed it.
She was fond of Mildred, and she put up her lips for a kiss.
"What's the matter, Milly?" she asked; "have you a cold?"
"No, my love; on principle I never allow myself to have anything so
silly; but I am shocked, Judy--shocked at what I have read in the
morning papers."
"Oh, about our money," replied Judy in an unconcerned voice. "Have you
found that wasp, Babs? Are you looking on _all_ the ivy leaves?"
"I picked an ivy leaf, and put it down just here," replied Babs, "and I
put the wasp in it most carefully; the wind must have caught it and
blown it away."
"Oh, dear; oh, dear! the poor creature, what will become of it?"
answered Judy. She was down on her hands and knees again, poking and
examining, but poking and examining in vain.
"It's very rude of you, Judy, not to pay me the least attention," said
Mildred. "I have come over on purpose to see you, and there you are
squatting on the ground, pushing all that rubbish about. You have no
manners, and I'll tell Hilda so; and, Babs, what are you about not to
give me a hug?"
[Illustration: "I HAVE COME ON PURPOSE TO SEE YOU, JUDY." P. 60.]
Babs raised a somewhat grimy little face.
"We can't find the poor wasp," she said. "He was rolled up in the
spider's web, and I put him on an ivy leaf, and now he's gone."
"You had better go on looking for him, Babs," said Judy, "and I'll talk
to Milly." She rose as she spoke and placed her dirty little hand on
Miss Anstruther's arm. "So you heard about our money, Milly?" she said.
"Aunt Marjorie is in an awful state, she has cried and cried and cried;
but the rest of us don't care."
"You don't care? Oh, you queer, queer people! You don't mean to tell me,
little Judy, that Hilda doesn't care?"
"Hilda cares the least of all," replied Judy; "she has got Jasper."
Judy's face clouded over as she spoke.
"I wonder what _he'll_ say to this business," remarked Miss Anstruther,
half to herself; "he's not at all well off--it ought to make a
tremendous difference to him."
"He certainly isn't to be pitied," said Judy; "he's going to get Hilda."
"And what about Hilda's money?" laughed Miss Anstruther. Her face wore
an expression which was almost disagreeable, her big blue eyes looked
dark as they gazed at the child.
Judy's own little face turned pale. She didn't understand Miss
Anstruther, but something impelled her to say with great fierceness:
"I hate Jasper!"
Miss Anstruther stooped down and kissed her.
"You are a queer, passionate little thing, Judy," she said, "but it's a
very good thing for Hilda to be engaged to a nice sensible fellow like
Jasper Quentyns, and of course it is more important now than ever for
her. He'll be disappointed, of course, but I dare say they can get along
somehow. Ah, there's Aunt Marjorie coming out of the house. I must run
and speak to her, poor dear; how troubled she looks! and no wonder."
Mildred ran off, and Judy stood where she had left her, in the center of
the lawn, quivering all over.
What did Milly mean by saying that Jasper would be disappointed--Jasper,
who was going to get Hilda--Hilda herself? What could anyone want more
than the sun? what could any man desire more than the queen of all
queens, the rose of all roses?
Thoughts like these flitted through little Judy's mind in confused
fashion. Hilda was to be married to Jasper, and the Rectory of Little
Staunton would know her no more. That indeed was a sorrow to make
everyone turn sick and pale, but the loss of the money was not worth a
moment's consideration.
Judy wandered about, too restless and unhappy to settle to her play.
Babs shouted in the distance that the wasp was not to be seen. Even the
fate of the poor wasp scarcely interested Judy at present. She was
watching for Mildred to reappear that she might join her in the avenue
and ask why she dared to say those words about Jasper.
"Well, Judy," said Miss Anstruther by and by, "here I am, back at last.
I saw Aunt Marjorie, but I didn't see the Rector, and I didn't see
Hilda. Aunt Marjorie tells me that Jasper Quentyns is coming down
to-night, so I suppose he's going to take everything all right."
"What do you mean, Milly?" asked Judy.
"Why do you look at me in that fierce way, you small atom?" answered
Mildred, stopping in her walk and looking at the child with an amused
smile on her face.
"Because I don't understand you," said Judy.
"It is scarcely likely you should, my darling. Let me see, how old are
you--nine? Well, you'll know something of what I mean when you're
nineteen. Now I must go."
"No, stop a bit, Milly. I don't understand you, but I hate hints. Miss
Mills hints things sometimes, and oh, how I detest her when she does!
and you're hinting now, and it is something against Hilda."
"Against Hilda? Oh, good gracious, child, what an awful cram!"
"It isn't a cram, it is true. I can't explain it, but I know you're
hinting something against darling Hilda. Why should you say that Jasper
will be disappointed? Isn't she going away with him some day? and aren't
they going to live in--in a horrid--a horrid _flat_ together, and she
won't even have a garden, nor fowls, nor flowers? And you say Jasper
will be disappointed. Everything is going when Hilda goes, and you speak
as if Jasper wasn't the very luckiest person in all the wide world. _I_
know what it means; yes, I know. Oh, Milly, I'm so unhappy. Oh, Milly,
what _shall_ I do when Hilda goes away?"
Mildred was impulsive and kind-hearted, notwithstanding the very decided
fit of jealousy which was now over her. She put her arm round Judy and
tried to comfort her.
"You poor little thing," she said, "you poor little jealous, miserable
mite. How could you think you were going to keep your Hilda always?
There, Judy, there, darling, I really am sorry for you--I really am, but
you know Hilda is pretty and sweet, and someone wants her to make
another home beautiful. There, I'll say something to comfort you--I'll
eat all the words I have already uttered, and tell you emphatically from
my heart of hearts that Hilda is too good for Jasper Quentyns."
"Judy, Judy, Judy! I have found the wasp," shouted Babs.
Judy dried her eyes hastily, kissed Mildred, and ran across the lawn to
her little sister.
"What a queer child Judy Merton is," said Mildred to herself. "What
tempestuous little creatures some children are. How passionately she
spoke about Hilda, and now her whole heart and soul are devoted to the
rescuing of a miserable insect. Yes, of course Jasper is not good enough
for Hilda. He has plenty of faults, he is not the prince I have been
looking for, and yet--and yet----"
Her heart beat quickly, the color rushed into her face, she felt her
firm lips tremble, and knew that her eyes were shining with unusual
brilliance. Someone was coming along the path to meet her. A man with
the sunlight shining all over him--an athletic figure, who walked with
the swift bounding step of youth. He was Jasper Quentyns.
"Hullo!" he called, catching sight of her. "I was fortunate in getting
an earlier train than I had hoped for, and here I am two hours before I
was expected. How is Hilda? Have you been at the house? Are they all
fearfully cut up?"
"How do you do, Mr. Quentyns?" replied Mildred. "Yes, I have been at the
house, and I have seen Judy and Aunt Marjorie. Judy seems to me to be in
a very excitable and feverish state of mind."
"She's rather spoilt, isn't she?" said Quentyns.
"Oh, well, she's Hilda's special darling, the first in her heart by
many degrees--after--after somebody else."
"But how could a child like Judy know anything about money loss?"
"It isn't the money that's troubling her at the present moment, it's a
poor wasp. Now pray don't look so bewildered, and do try and forget
about Judy. Aunt Marjorie is taking her trouble in a thoroughly
practical and Aunt Marjorie style. I have not seen Hilda, nor have I
seen the Rector."
"It will be an awful blow to them all," said Quentyns.
"Yes," replied Miss Anstruther, looking him straight in the eyes, "an
awful blow. And you feel it far more than Hilda," she soliloquized, as
she walked back to her own home.
CHAPTER VI.
THE EVE OF THE WEDDING.
Where shall I find a white rose blowing?
Out in the garden where all sweets be.
But out in my garden the snow was snowing
And never a white rose opened for me,
Naught but snow and a wind were blowing
And snowing.
--CHRISTINA G. ROSSETTI.
Notwithstanding Mildred Anstruther's inward prognostications, there came
no hitch to Hilda Merton's engagement. Quentyns behaved as the best and
most honorable of men. He was all that was tender and loving to Hilda,
and he immediately took that position toward Mr. Merton which a son
might have held. Quentyns was a good business man, and in the
catastrophe which overwhelmed the Rectory, he proved himself invaluable.
On one point, however, he was very firm. His marriage with Hilda must
not be delayed. No persuasive speeches on her part, no longing looks out
of Judy's hungry eyes, no murmurs on the part of Aunt Marjorie, would
induce him to put off the time of the wedding by a single day.
He used great tact in this matter, for Quentyns was the soul of tact,
and it quite seemed to the family, and even to Hilda herself, that _she_
had suggested the eighth of January as the most suitable day in the
whole year for a wedding--it seemed to the whole family, and even to
Hilda herself, that _she_ was the one who desired to go, whereas in her
heart of hearts, in that innermost heart which she scarcely ventured to
probe at all just now, she would have gladly shared Aunt Marjorie's
discomforts and sat by her father's side while he composed those sermons
which were to teach his flock, with a sure note of truth running through
them, that the blessed man is the man whom the Lord God chasteneth.
The wedding-day was fixed, and notwithstanding poverty and its attendant
shadows, preparations for the great event went on merrily enough.
A check for Hilda's trousseau was sent to her by a rich aunt in India,
and the pleasant excitement which even the quietest wedding always
causes began to pervade the Rectory.
When the day was finally arranged, Aunt Marjorie ceased to murmur and
cry. She talked a great deal now of Hilda's coming responsibilities, and
spent all her leisure moments copying out receipts which she thought
might be useful to her niece in her new position as wife and
housekeeper.
"You have never yet told me where you are going to live, Hilda," she
said, on the New Year's Day which preceded the wedding.
"I am not quite sure myself," replied Hilda. "Jasper has seen a great
many suburban houses which he does not quite like, and a great many
flats which he considers absolutely perfect. He says there is no special
hurry about choosing a house, for after we have returned from our
wedding tour we are to stay with some of his relations in town, and
during that time we can make up our minds as to what kind of home we
will have."
"Very prudent of Jasper," said Aunt Marjorie. "He really is an excellent
fellow--so wonderfully thoughtful for such a young man. Of course he has
far too much sense to think of selecting a house for you himself. As to
a flat, you will of course not dream of going into one--a house is
better in all respects, more airy and more interesting."
"I should like a house best," said Hilda, "but Jasper, of course, is the
one really to decide."
"Now, there you are wrong, my love. _You_ are undoubtedly the right
person to make the final choice. I am old-fashioned in my ideas, Hilda,
and I think the wife ought to be in subjection to her husband, for we
have Scripture for it, but I don't believe St. Paul meant that rule to
extend to domestic matters. In domestic matters the wife _ought_ to have
the casting vote. Be sure, my dear Hilda, you don't yield to Jasper in
domestic affairs--you will rue it if you do--and be quite sure that in
selecting a house you have a wide entrance-hall, a spacious staircase,
and a large drawing room."
"But, Auntie, such a house will be beyond our means."
"Tut, tut, my love--the rent _may_ be a few pounds more, but what of
that? A large entrance-hall is really essential; and as it is easier to
keep large rooms and wide staircases clean than small ones, your
servants will have less to do and you will save the extra rent in that
way. Now here is your great-grandmother's receipt for plum-pudding--two
dozen eggs, three pounds raisins, one pound citron. Hilda, I
particularly want to give you a hint about the _spice_ for this pudding;
ah, and I must speak also about this white soup--it is simply made, and
at the same time delicious--the stock from two fowls--one pint single
cream--your father is particularly fond of it. Yes, Susan, what is the
matter?"
"A parcel for Miss Hilda, ma'am," said the neat parlor-maid. "It has
come by 'Carter Patterson'; and will you put your name here, please,
Miss Hilda."
Hilda signed her name obediently, and a square wooden box was brought
in. It was opened by Aunt Marjorie herself with great solemnity. Judy
and Babs came and looked on, and there were great expressions of rapture
when an exquisite afternoon tea-service of Crown Derby was exhibited to
view.
Wedding presents were pouring in from all quarters. Hilda put this one
away with the others, and calmly continued her occupation of adding up
some parochial accounts for her father. She was a very careful
accountant, and had the makings in her of a good business woman when she
had gained a little experience.
Aunt Marjorie sat and mumbled little disjointed remarks with regard to
her niece's future state and subjection. She gave her many hints as to
when she was to yield to her husband and when she was to firmly uphold
her own will.
Had Hilda followed out Aunt Marjorie's precepts, or even been greatly
influenced by them, she and Jasper would have had a very unhappy future,
but she had a gentle and respectful way of listening to the old lady
without taking in a great deal that she said. Her thoughts were divided
now between Jasper and Judy. Her heart felt torn at the thought of
leaving her little sister, and she had an instinctive feeling, which she
had never yet put into words, that Judy and Jasper were antagonistic to
each other, and, what is more, would always remain so.
Judy had seen the Crown Derby service unpacked, and then, in the sober
fashion which more or less characterized all her actions of late, she
left the room.
She went up to the bedroom which she and Babs shared together, and
sitting down by the window, rested her chubby cheek against her hand.
Babs was kneeling down in a distant corner, pulling a doll's bedstead to
pieces for the express purpose of putting it together again.
"My doll Lily has been very naughty to-day," she said, "and I am going
to put her to bed. She wouldn't half say her lessons this morning, and
she deserves to be well punished. What are you thinking of, Judy, and
why do you pucker up your forehead? It makes you look so cross."
"Never mind about my forehead. I have a lot of things to think of just
now. I can't be always laughing and talking like you."
Babs paused in the act of putting a sheet on her doll's bed to gaze at
Judy with great intentness.
"You might tell me what's the matter with you," she said, after a moment
of silence; "you are not a bit interesting lately; you're always
thinking and always frowning, unless at night when you are sobbing."
"Oh, don't!" said Judy. "Don't you see what it is, Babs--can't you
guess?--it is only a week off now."
"What's only a week off?"
"Hilda's wedding. Oh, dear; oh, dear! I wish I were dead; I do wish I
were dead."
Babs did not think this remark of poor Judy's worth replying to. She
gravely finished making her doll's bed, tucked Lily up comfortably, and
coming over to the window, knelt down, placed her elbows on the ledge,
and looked out at the snowy landscape.
"Hasn't Hilda got lots and lots of presents?" she said, after a pause.
"Yes. I don't want to see them, though."
"Everyone is giving her a present," continued Babs, in her calm voice,
"even Miss Mills and the servants. Susan told me that the schoolchildren
were collecting money to buy her something, and--may I tell you a
'mendous big secret, Judy?"
Judy ceased to frown, and looked at Babs with a faint dawning of
interest in her eyes.
"I has got a present for her too," said Babs, beginning to dance about.
"I am not going to give it till the day of the wedding. I buyed it my
own self, and it's _quite_ beautiful. What are you going to give her,
Judy?"
"Nothing. I haven't any money."
"I have half a sovereign in the Savings Bank, but I can't take it out
until after I am seven. I wish I could, for I could lend it to you to
give Hilda a wedding present."
"I wish you could," said Judy. "I'd like awfully to give her something.
You might tell me what you have got, Babs."
"It's some darning-cotton," said Babs in a whisper. "I buyed it last
week with twopence-halfpenny; you remember the day I went with Mrs.
Sutton to town. She said it was a very useful thing, for Hilda will want
to mend Jasper's socks, and if she hasn't darning-cotton handy maybe
he'll scold her."
"He wouldn't dare to," said Judy, with a frown; "she _shan't_ mend his
horrid socks. Why did you get such a nasty wedding present, Babs?"
A flush of delicate color spread all over Babs' little fair face. She
winked her blue eyes hard to keep back the tears which Judy's scathing
remarks were bringing to the surface, and said, after a pause:
"It's not a horrid present, it's lovely; and anyhow"--her voice becoming
energetic as this happy mode of revenge occurred to her--"it is better
than yours, for you has got nothing at all."
"Oh, I'll have something when the day comes," replied Judy, in a
would-be careless tone.
"But you hasn't any money."
"Money isn't everything. I'll manage, you'll see."
From this moment Judy's whole heart and soul were absorbed in one fierce
desire to give Hilda a present which should be better and sweeter and
more full of love than anybody else's.
After two or three days of anxious thought and nights of troubled
dreams, she made up her mind what her present should be. It should
consist of holly berries and ivy, and these holly berries and that ivy
should be picked by Judy's own fingers, and should be made into a
bouquet by Judy herself; and the very center of this bouquet should
contain a love-note--a little twisted note, into which Judy would pour
some of her soul. It should be given to Hilda at the very last moment
when she was starting for church; and though she was all in white from
top to toe--all in pure white, with a bouquet of white flowers in her
hand--yet she should carry Judy's bouquet, with its thorns and its
crimson berries, as a token of her little sister's faithful love.
"She shall carry it to church with her," said Judy, with inward passion.
"I'll make her promise beforehand, and I know she won't break her word
to me. It will be a little bit of me she'll have with her, even when she
is giving herself to that horrid Jasper."
The little girl quite cheered up when this idea came to her. She became
helpful and pleasant once more, and allowed Babs to chatter to her about
the insect world, which had now practically gone to sleep; and about the
delights of the time when their chrysalides, which they had put away so
carefully in the butterfly-case, should burst out into living and
beautiful things.
The day before the wedding came, and the whole house was in pleasant
bustle and confusion. Nearly all the presents had arrived by this time.
The school children had come up to the Rectory in a body to present
Hilda with a very large and gaudily decorated photographic album; the
Rectory servants had given the bride-elect a cuckoo-clock; Miss Mills
had blushed as she presented her with a birth-day book bound in white
vellum; "Carter Patterson's" people were tired of coming up the avenue
with box after box; and Aunt Marjorie was tired of counting on her
fingers the names of the different friends who were sure to remember
such an important event as Hilda Merton's wedding.
But for Aunt Marjorie, Hilda would have given herself to Jasper in a
very quiet and unobtrusive fashion. But this idea of a wedding was such
intense grief to the old lady that Hilda and Jasper, rather against
their wills, abandoned it, and Hilda was content to screen her lovely
face behind a white veil, and to go to church decked as a bride should.
"It is positively economical to get a proper wedding dress," said Aunt
Marjorie; "you'll want it for the parties you'll go to during your first
season in town, Hilda. Of course Lady Malvern, Jasper's aunt, will
present you, and the dress with a little alteration will do very well to
go to the Drawing Room in. I shall desire the dressmaker to make the
train quite half a yard extra, on purpose."
Aunt Marjorie had her way, and was sufficiently happy in her present
life to forget the dull days which must follow, and to cease to think
of the deserted house when Hilda, and wealth, and luxury, went away.
It was the evening before the wedding-day, when Babs came solemnly into
the room where her sister was sitting, and presented her with her
wedding gift.
"It's darning-cotton," said Babs, in her gentle, full, satisfied
fashion. "Sutton said it would be useful, and that Jasper wouldn't scold
you if you had it handy."
"What treason are you talking, Babs?" asked Quentyns, who was standing
by Hilda's side.
He stooped down, and mounted her on his shoulder.
"Sutton says that husbands always scold their wives," said Babs.
"Nonsense, child! Sutton doesn't speak the truth. I would far rather
scold myself than Hilda."
"Well, at any rate here's the cotton. I spent all my money on it except
the ten shillings in the Savings Bank; and, Hilda, you _will_ use it
when Jasper's socks get into holes."
"Of course I will, you dear little darling," said Hilda. "I think it is
a perfectly sweet present. Give it to me; I was just packing my
work-basket, and in it shall go this minute. I'll think of you every
time I use a thread of this cotton, Babs."
"Babs, Miss Mills says it is quite time for you to go to bed," said
Judy, who was standing at the back of Hilda's chair, softly touching her
bright head from time to time with the tips of her little fingers.
Quentyns laughed when Judy spoke in her solemn voice.
"And what about Judy's time for going to bed?" he asked.
"Oh, I am much older than Babs, and Hilda said----"
"Yes, Jasper; I said Judy should have a little talk with me all by
myself to-night," said Hilda, putting back her hand and drawing her
little sister forward. "Here's a tiny bit of my chair for you to sit
upon, Judy dearest."
"Then I'll take Babs upstairs," said Jasper. "Put your arms tightly
round my neck, you quaint monkey, and I'll race up to your room with
you."
"Hilda," said Judy, the moment the door had closed behind the two, "I
haven't given you my present yet."
"My darling," said Hilda, "when we love as you and I love each other,
presents mean nothing--nothing at all. I know you have no money,
dearest little Judy and I think it was so sweet of you not to ask for
any. Your present to me is your thoughtfulness; no gift could be
sweeter."
"Hilda, may I rest my head against your shoulder?"
"Of course, darling. Now aren't we cozy?"
"We are; I feel warm now, and--and happy. I won't be able to sit like
this for a long time again."
"Yes you will, for you're coming to stay with us; as soon as ever we get
into our house, or our flat, or wherever we shall live, you are to come.
One of the very first rooms I shall furnish will be your little bedroom,
my Judy."
"And then I can sit close to you every night. But oh, Hilda, _he'll_ be
there, he won't like it."
"Yes, he will; he'll like anything that I like. There is an old proverb
that I must repeat for your benefit--'Love me, love my dog.' That means
that those whom I love you ought to love."
"Ought I? Very well, I'll try to love--Jasper. Anything that you say
I'll try to do. Hilda, why does loving a person give pain? I have an
ache in my heart--a big ache. There now, what a horrid girl I am! I am
making your eyes fill with tears. You shan't be unhappy just when
you're going to be made into a beautiful white bride. Sutton says it is
unlucky for a bride to cry. You shan't cry, Hilda, you shan't--you
mustn't."
"But I can't help crying, Judy, when I think that you are unhappy, and
when you speak of your love to me as a pain."
"I'll never speak of it again. I'll be happy--I won't fret--no, I won't
fret at all, and I won't cry even once," said the child, making a
valiant effort to bring a smile to her face. "Hilda, will you promise me
something very, very solemnly?"
"If it is in my power I certainly will, my pet."
"You have not got my wedding present yet, Hilda; but it is coming.
Promise me----"
"What, darling?"
"Promise to take it to church with you to-morrow--I'll give it to you
just before church--it will be full of me--my very heart will be in
it--take it to church with you, Hilda, and hold it in your hand when
you're giving yourself to Jasper--promise--promise."
"How excited you are, my dearest! If it makes you really happy to know
that I shall hold something of yours in my hand when I am being married,
I will certainly do so."
"Oh, it does make me happy, it does!"
CHAPTER VII.
A WEDDING PRESENT.
But my lover will not prize
All the glory that he rides in,
When he gazes in my face:
He will say: "O Love, thine eyes
Build the shrine my soul abides in,
And I kneel here for thy grace!"
--E. BARRETT BROWNING.
There was a holly tree not far from the church with berries so red and
leaves so green and shining that it was generally denuded of its
beauties to decorate the most important parts of the church.
Judy knew this holly tree well. It had been much crippled in shape and
color for the Christmas decorations, but one perfect branch had been
left where the berries still grew in full rich clusters--this special
branch had not been noticed by the gardener when he was cutting the
holly for Christmas, and Judy determined that from it she would pick the
crimson berries which were to constitute Hilda's wedding present.
"Barnes," she said to the old gardener the day before, "you mustn't
allow anyone to touch my bough of holly."
"Well, Miss Judy, you're a queer child; what bough of holly do you
mean?"
"The bough on the round tree near the church. I want it most particular
badly; you won't let anyone pick it--will you, Barnes?"
"No, that I won't," said Barnes, good-naturedly; and Judy, quite
satisfied and happy in her mind, ran away.
On the wedding morning, just when the day broke, she got softly, very
softly out of bed. Babs was having happy dreams at the moment, for
smiles were flitting across her face and her lips were moving. Judy,
heavy-eyed and pale, rose from her broken slumbers and proceeded to
dress herself. She must go out now to fetch her holly bough. She could
dress herself nicely; and putting on a warm jacket she ran downstairs
and let herself out into the foggy, frosty air. She was warmly clad as
to her head and throat, but she had not considered it necessary to put
on her out-door boots. The boots took a long time to lace, and as she
did not expect to be absent from the house more than ten or twelve
minutes, she did not think it worth while to go to this trouble.
She ran swiftly now, her heart beating with a certain pleasurable
excitement. It was so nice to be able to make a beautiful, quaint
wedding present out of the red berries and the glistening leaves and the
little note full of love hiding away in their depths. How delighted
Hilda would be by and by to open that note and to read some of Judy's
innermost thoughts.
"Even though she has Jasper, she loves me," thought the child. "She will
know _something_ of what I think of her, the darling, when she has read
my note."
The little letter, written on a tiny pink sheet of paper, was put away
all ready in Judy's drawer; she had but to cut the bough of holly and
her unique wedding present would be almost ready. She reached the tree,
having to go to it through long grass heavy with hoar frost. Her
stockings and feet were already very wet, but she thought nothing of
this fact in her excitement. She had a small knife in her pocket which
she proceeded to take out in order to cut the bough away--it grew low
down and she had to pull the grass aside to look for it.
Alack, and alas! where was it, who had taken it? Had wicked, wicked
Barnes been faithless? There was a torn gash on the trunk of the tree,
and no long bough red with berries was anywhere to be seen.
Poor little Judy could not help uttering a cry of anguish. Hot anger
against Barnes swelled up in her heart. Miss Mills was in reality the
culprit. Knowing nothing of Judy's desire, she had cut the bough late
the night before for some window decoration.
"I won't go back to the house until I get some holly," thought the
child. She wiped away her fast-falling tears and set her sharp little
wits to work. This was the most scarce time in the whole winter for
holly berries, the greater number of them having been used for church
and Christmas decorations; but Judy, whose keen eyes noticed Nature in
all her aspects, suddenly remembered that on the borders of a lake
nearly a mile away grew another holly tree--a small and unremarkable
bush which might yet contain sufficient bright berries for her purpose.
Without an instant's hesitation she determined to walk that mile and
reach that tree. She must go quickly if she would be back before anyone
noticed her. She was particularly anxious that her gift should not be
seen in advance. Running, racing, and scrambling she effected her
purpose, reached the tree, secured some berries and leaves, and returned
to the house wet through and very tired.
Babs was rubbing her eyes and stretching her limbs in her snug bed in
the nursery when her sister came back.
"Oh, Judy, what have you been doing?" she exclaimed, sitting up and
staring in round-eyed astonishment.
"Hush, Babs," said Judy, "don't speak for a moment--don't say a single
word until I have locked the door."
"But you oughtn't to lock the door. Miss Mills doesn't wish it."
"I am going to disobey her."
"But you'll be punished."
"I don't care."
The key was turned in the lock, and Judy, going over to Babs' bed,
exhibited her spoils.
"See," she said, "here's my wedding present."
"Did you go to fetch those holly berries this morning?" asked Babs.
"Yes, I did, and I had to go a long way for them too; that horrid,
wicked old Barnes had cut away my bough, and I had to go all the way to
the lake."
"Your feet do look so sloppy and wet."
"So they are, they are soaking; I forgot to put on my boots."
"Oh, won't you catch an awful cold! won't Miss Mills be angry!"
"Never mind; I'll change my stockings and shoes after I have arranged
my present."
"It's such a funny wedding present," said Babs. "Do you think Hilda will
like it?"
"She'll do more than like it: she'll love it. Don't talk to me any
more--I'm too busy to answer you."
Babs fidgeted and mumbled to herself. Judy stood with her back to her.
She used her little fingers deftly--her taste as to arrangement and
color was perfect. The sharp thorns pricked her poor little fingers, but
she was rather glad than otherwise to suffer in Hilda's cause. The
wedding present was complete, no sign of the note could be seen in the
midst of the green leaves and crimson berries. Judy unlocked the door
and tumbled back into bed. Miss Mills knew nothing of her escapade, for
Babs was far too stanch to betray her.
Just as Hilda in a cloud of white was stepping into the carriage to go
to church that morning, a little figure, also in cloudy white with
wide-open greeny-gray eyes, under which heavy dark marks were already
visible, rushed up to her and thrust something into her hand.
"Your--your wedding present, Hilda," gasped Judy. The strong colors of
the red and green made almost a blot upon Hilda's fairness. Her father,
who was accompanying her to church, interposed.
"Stand back, my dear, stand back, Judy," he said. "Hilda, you had better
leave those berries in the hall; you're surely not going to take them to
church."
"Your promise, Hilda, your faithful promise," said Judy in an imploring
voice.
Hilda looked at the child; she remembered her words of the night before,
and holding the prickly little bunch firmly, said in a gentle voice:
"I particularly want to take Judy's present to church with me, father."
"As you like, my love, of course; but it is not at all in keeping with
that lovely bouquet of hot-house white flowers sent to you by Lady
Dellacoeur."
"Then, if so, Lady Dellacoeur's flowers shall stay at home," said
Hilda. She tossed the splendid bouquet on the hall table, and with
Judy's holly berries in her hand, sprang into the carriage.
"Isn't she a darling?" said Judy, turning with eyes that glowed in their
happiness to Miss Mills.
"A goose, I call her," muttered Miss Mills; but Judy neither heard nor
heeded her words.
The little church was nearly full of spectators, and one and all did
not fail to remark Judy's wedding present. A bride in white from top to
toe--a lovely bride in the tenderest bloom of youth, to carry a bouquet
of strong dark green and crimson--had anything so incongruous ever been
seen before? But Hilda held the flowers tightly, and Judy's hungry heart
was satisfied.
"Good-by, my darling," said Hilda to her little sister a couple of hours
later; "good-by, Judy; my first letter shall be to you, and I will
carefully keep your dear wedding present."
"Hilda, Hilda, there's a little note inside of it, in the heart of it;
you'll read it, won't you, and you won't show it to Jasper?"
"If you wish me not, I won't, dearest. How hot your lips are, Judy, and
how flushed your face."
"I am just a wee bit shivery," said Judy, "but it's nothing, nothing at
all. I'll promise you not to fret, Hilda. Good-by, dear, dear, darling
Hilda."
"Good-by, my sweetest little treasure, good-by."
Hilda got into the carriage; her husband took his place by her side.
Mildred Anstruther tossed a great shower of rice after them, Miss Mills
and Babs hurled slippers down the avenue, Judy was nowhere to be seen.
"Hilda," said Quentyns, as they were driving to the station, "why did
you have such a very funny bouquet in church? You showed me Lady
Dellacoeur's flowers last night. Why didn't you wear them, darling?
Those harsh holly berries and leaves weren't in your usual taste."
"But you're not angry with me for carrying that little bouquet, Jasper,
are you?"
"My darling, could I be angry with you for anything?"
"The little bunch of holly was Judy's wedding present," said Hilda,
tears dimming her eyes; "I promised her that I would wear them. Sweet
little darling, my heart aches at leaving her."
Quentyns took Hilda's hand and held it firmly within his own. He said
some sympathetic words, for Hilda's slightest grief was grief to him,
but in his heart he could not help murmuring:
"That tiresome, morbid child. Poor darling Hilda, I must show her very
gently and gradually how terribly she is spoiling Judy."
CHAPTER VIII.
HONEYMOON.
The night is in her hair
And giveth shade for shade,
And the pale moonlight on her forehead white
Like a spirit's hand is laid;
Her lips part with a smile
Instead of speakings done:
I ween, she thinketh of a voice,
Albeit uttering none.
--MRS. BARRETT BROWNING.
A month later Mrs. Quentyns was sitting in one of the largest hotels at
Rome waiting for her husband to come in. The day was so balmy and genial
that it was almost impossible for Hilda to believe that the time of year
was early February. Dressed in dark-green velvet, with a creamy feather
boa lying by her side, Hilda sat amidst all her unaccustomed
surroundings, her eyes looking straight down the lofty room and her
thoughts far away. The bride was thinking of her English home--she was
an intensely happy bride--she loved her husband devotedly--she looked
forward to a good and blessed life by his side, but still (and to her
credit be it spoken) she could not forget old times. In the Rectory
gardens now the crocuses and snowdrops were putting out their first
dark-green leaves, and showing their tender petals to the faint winter
sunshine. Judy and Babs, wrapped in furs from top to toe, were taking
their afternoon walk--Babs was looking in vain for insect life in the
hedges, and Judy was opening her big eyes wide to see the first green
bud that ventured to put out its little tip to be greeted by the winter
cold. Aunt Marjorie was learning to make use of her legs, and was
glowing with warmth of body and vexation of spirit. The Rector was
tranquilly writing a sermon which, notwithstanding its polished diction,
should yet show the workings of a new spirit which would move his
congregation on Sunday.
Hilda seemed to see the whole picture--but her mind's eye rested longest
on the figure of the tall, rather overgrown child, whose eyes always
wore too hungry an expression for perfect happiness.
"Little darling," murmured Hilda, "how I wish I had her with me
here--she'd appreciate things so wonderfully. It is the greatest treat
in the world to take Judy to see a really good picture--how her eyes
shine in her dear face when she looks at it. My sweet little Judy,
Jasper does not care for me to talk much to you, but I love you with all
my heart and soul; it is the one drawback to my perfect happiness that I
must be parted from you."
Hilda rose as she spoke, and going over to a table on which her
traveling-bag stood, opened it, pressed the spring on a certain lock,
and taking out a little crumpled, stained letter, read the words written
on it.
"My darling Hilda [wrote the poor little scribe], this is to say
that I love you better than anyone else in the world. I'll
always go on loving you best of all. Please take a thousand
million kisses, and never forget Judy.
"P. S.--I'll pray for you every day and every night. I hope you
will be very happy. I won't fret if you don't. This letter is
packed with love.
"JUDY."
A step was heard along the passage; Hilda folded up the letter, slipped
it back into its hiding place, and ran down the long room to meet her
husband.
"Well, my darling," he exclaimed; "the English mail has just come in,
and here's a budget for you."
"And a budget for you too, Jasper. What a heap of letters!"
"Yes, and one of them is from Rivers. He rather wants me in London:
there's a good case coming on at the Law Courts; he says I shall be
counsel for it if I'm in town. What do you say to coming back to London
on Saturday, Hilda?"
"You know I shall be only too delighted; I am just pining to be home
again. Do you think we could go down to the Rectory? I should so like to
spend Sunday there."
"My darling, what are you thinking of? I want to be in London, not in
Hampshire. Now that I have got you, sweetheart, I must neglect no chance
of work."
Hilda's face turned slightly pale.
"Of course, darling," she said, looking up sweetly at her tall husband;
"but where are we to go on Saturday night? You spoke of going home."
"And so we are going home, my love--or rather we are going toward home;
but as we have not taken a house yet, we must spend a week with the
Malverns when first we get to England. I will send a line to my aunt,
and tell her to expect us on Saturday."
Hilda said nothing more. She smothered the ghost of a sigh, and sitting
down by the wood fire, which, notwithstanding the genial weather, was
acceptable enough in their lofty room, began to open her letters. The
Rectory budget was of course first attended to. It contained several
inclosures--one from her father, which was short and principally
occupied over a review of the last new theological book he had been
reading, one from Aunt Marjorie, and one from Miss Mills.
"None from Judy," said Hilda, in a voice of surprise; "she has only
written to me once since we were married."
She spoke aloud, and looked up at her husband for sympathy. He was
reading a letter of his own, and its contents seemed to amuse him, for
he broke into a hearty laugh.
"What is it, Jasper?" asked Hilda. "What is amusing you?"
"Something Rivers has said, my love. I'll tell you presently. Capital
fellow he is; if I get this brief I shall be in tremendous luck."
Hilda opened Aunt Marjorie's letter and began to read. The old lady was
a somewhat rambling correspondent. Her letters were always closely
written and voluminous. Hilda had to strain her young eyes to decipher
all the sentences.
"I must say I dislike poverty [wrote Aunt Marjorie]; you are
well out of it, Hilda. It is my private conviction that your
father has absolutely forgotten that his income has jumped down
in a single day from three thousand three hundred and fifty
pounds a year to the three hundred and fifty without the odd
thousands; he goes on just as he has always done, and is
perfectly happy. Dean Sharp sent him his last book a week ago,
and he has done nothing but read it and talk of it ever
since--his conversation in consequence is most tiresome. I miss
you awfully, my love. I never could stand theology, even when I
was surrounded by comforts, and now when I have to stint the
fires and suffer from cold feet, you may imagine how unpleasant
it is to me. My dear Hilda, I am afraid I shall not be able to
keep Miss Mills, she seems to get sillier every day; it is my
private conviction that she has a love affair on, but she's as
mum as possible about it. Poor Sutton cried in a most
heartrending way when she left; she said when leaving, 'I'll
never get another mistress like you, ma'am, for you never
interfere, even to the clearing of the jellies.' I am glad she
appreciates me, I didn't think she did while she was living with
us. The new cook can't attempt anything in the way of soup, so
I have given it up for dinner; but your father never appears to
miss it. The garden is looking horrible, so many weeds about.
The Anstruthers have all gone up to London--taken a house for
the season at an enormous price. How those people do squander
money; may they never know what it is for it to take to itself
wings!
"By the way, Judy has not been well; she caught cold or
something the day of your wedding, and was laid up with a nasty
little feverish attack and cough. We had to send for Dr. Harvey,
who said she had a chill, and was a good deal run down. She's up
again now, but looks like a ghost with her big eyes. She
certainly is a most peculiar child--I don't pretend to
understand her. She crept into the room a minute ago, and I told
her I was writing to you, and asked her if she had any message.
She got pink all over just as if she were going to cry, and then
said:
"'Tell Hilda that I am not fretting a bit, that I am as happy as
possible. Give her my dear love and heaps of kisses' (my dear
Hilda, you must take them for granted, for I am not going to put
crosses all over the letter).
"Then she ran out of the room as if she had nothing further to
say--really a most queer child. Babs is a little treasure and
the comfort of my life.
"Your affectionate old Aunt,
"MARJORIE."
"Jasper!" said Hilda, in a choked sort of voice. "Jasper!"
"What is it, my darling? Why, how queer you look, your face is quite
white!"
"It is about Judy; she's not well!" said Hilda. "I ought to go to her, I
ought not to delay. Couldn't we catch the night mail?"
"Good gracious!" said Quentyns, alarmed by Hilda's manner. "What is
wrong with the child? If it is anything infectious----"
"No, no, it is nothing of that sort; but in any case, whatever it is, I
ought to go to her--I ought not to delay. May I telegraph to say we are
starting at once?"
"My darling, how excitable you are! What can be wrong with the child?"
"Oh, Jasper, you don't understand--Aunt Marjorie says----Here, read
this bit."
"I can't read that crabbed, crossed writing, Hilda."
"Well, I'll read it aloud to you; see where it begins--'Judy has not
been well----'"
Hilda read the whole passage, a lump in her throat almost choking her
voice. When she had finished, Quentyns put his arms round her and drew
her to his heart.
"Why, you poor little, foolish, nervous creature," he said, "there's
nothing wrong with Judy now; she was ill, but she's much better. My
darling Hilda--my love, you must really not disturb yourself about a
trifling mishap of this sort."
"It isn't a trifle, Jasper. Oh, I know Judy--I know how she looks and
what she feels. Oh, do, do let me go back to her, darling."
"You read that letter in such a perturbed sort of voice that I can
scarcely follow its meanings," said Quentyns. "Here, give it to me, and
let me see for myself what it is all about. Why will old ladies write
such villainous hands? Where does the passage begin, Hilda? Sit down,
darling, quiet yourself. Now let me see, here it is--'Judy has not been
well----'"
Hilda's hands had shaken with nervousness while she read her aunt's
letter aloud, but Quentyns held the sheet of thin paper steadily. As the
sentences fell from his lips, his full tones seemed to put new meaning
into them--the ghostly terrors died out of Hilda's heart. When her
husband laid down the sheet of paper, and turned to her with a
triumphant smile, she could not help smiling back at him in return.
"There," he said, "did not I tell you there was nothing wrong with Judy
now? What a little goose you are!"
"I suppose I am; and if you really, really think--if you are quite sure
that she's all right----"
"Of course, I am absolutely certain; doesn't Aunt Marjorie say so? The
fact is, Hilda, you make too great a fuss about that little sister of
yours--I feel almost jealous of her."
CHAPTER IX.
STARVED.
If I leave all for thee, wilt thou exchange
And be all to me? Shall I never miss
Home-talk and blessing and the common kiss?
--E. BARRETT BROWNING.
In the first pleasant spring-time of that same year, Mrs. Anstruther, a
very gay and fashionable-looking woman of between forty and fifty years
of age, turned on a certain morning to her daughter and made a remark:
"Don't forget that we must pay some calls this afternoon, Mildred."
Mildred was standing by the window of their beautiful drawing room. The
window-boxes had just been filled with lovely spring flowers; she was
bending over them and with deft fingers arranging the blossoms and
making certain small alterations, which had the effect of grouping the
different masses of color more artistically than the gardener had done.
"Yes, mother," she said, half turning her handsome head and glancing
back at her parent. "We are to make calls. I am quite agreeable."
"I wish you would take an interest, Mildred; it is so unpleasant going
about with people who are only just 'quite agreeable.' Now, when I was a
young girl----"
"Oh, please, mother, don't! The times have completely changed since you
were young; enthusiasm has gone out of fashion. I am nothing if I am not
fashionable! Of course, if calls have to be made, I shall make them.
I'll put on my most becoming bonnet, and my prettiest costume, and I'll
sit in the carriage by your side, and enter the houses of those friends
who happen to be at home, and I'll smile and look agreeable, and people
will say, 'What an amiable woman Miss Anstruther is!' I'll do the
correct thing of _course_, only I suppose it is not necessary for my
heart to go pitter-patter over it. By the way, have you made out a list
of the unfortunates who are to be victimized by our presence this
afternoon?"
Mrs. Anstruther sighed, and gazed in some discontent at her daughter.
"It is so disagreeable not to understand people," she said. "I don't
profess to understand you, Mildred. If you will give me my visiting-book
I can soon tell you the places where we ought to go. And oh, by the way,
should we not call on Hilda Quentyns? she has taken a house somewhere in
West Kensington."
"You don't mean to tell me that the Quentyns are in town?" said
Mildred, turning sharply round and gazing at her mother.
"Of course; they have been in London for some time. I met Lady Malvern
yesterday, and she gave me Hilda's address. She seems to have gone to
live in a very poky place. See, I have entered the name in my
address-book--10, Philippa Road, West Kensington."
"Then of course we'll go to her--that will be _really_ nice," said
Mildred with enthusiasm. "We might go to Hilda first and spend some
little time with her."
"But Mrs. Milward's 'at home' begins quite early. I should not like to
miss that."
"Who cares for Mrs. Milward! Look here, mother, suppose _you_ pay the
calls and let me go and see Hilda. I have a good deal I want to talk
over with her; for one thing, I want to say something about Judy."
"Poor, queer little Judy," said Mrs. Anstruther with a laugh. "What can
you possibly have to say about her?"
"I don't think Judy is at all well," said Mildred. "There is such a
thing as dying of heart-hunger. If ever a child suffered from that
old-fashioned complaint, it is that poor mite at Little Staunton
Rectory."
"My dear Mildred, you get more absurd every day. Judy lives in a most
comfortable home, for notwithstanding their poverty, old Aunt Marjorie
manages to keep everything going in really respectable style. The child
has a loving father, a devoted aunt, a dear little sister, and an
excellent governess, and you talk of her dying of heart-hunger! It is
absurd."
"Nevertheless," said Mildred,--she stopped abruptly, her bright eyes
looked across the room and out through the open window,--"nevertheless,"
she said, giving her foot an impatient tap, "I should like to see Hilda.
I should like to have a long talk with her. I have heard nothing about
her since her wedding, so by your leave, mother, I'll drive over to West
Kensington immediately after lunch and send the victoria back for you."
Mrs. Anstruther, who was always more or less like wax in the hands of
her strong-minded daughter, was obliged somewhat unwillingly to submit
to this arrangement; and Mildred, charmingly dressed and looking young
and lovely, was bowled rapidly away in the direction of Hilda Quentyns'
humble home soon after two o'clock.
"It will be pleasant to take the poor old dear by surprise," said
Mildred to herself. "There was a time when I felt jealous of her good
fortune in having secured Jasper Quentyns, but, thank goodness, I have
quite got over the assaults of the green-eyed monster now. Ah, here we
are. What a queer little street!--what frightfully new and yet
picturesque houses! They look like dove-cotes. I wonder if this pair of
turtle-doves coo in their nest all day long."
The footman jumped down and rang the doorbell. In a moment a
neatly-dressed but very young looking servant stood in the open doorway.
"Yes, Mrs. Quentyns was at home," she said, and Mildred entered Hilda's
pretty house.
She went into the drawing room, and stood somewhat impatiently waiting
for her hostess to appear. The little room was furnished with an eye to
artistic effect, the walls were decorated with good taste. The furniture
was new, as well as pretty. One beautiful photogravure from Burne Jones'
"Wheel of Fortune" was hung over the mantelpiece. Hilda and Quentyns,
faithfully represented by an Italian photographer, stood side by side in
a little frame on one of the brackets. Mildred felt herself drawing one
or two heavy sighs.
"I don't know what there is about this little room, but I like it," she
murmured; "nay, more, I love it. I can fancy good people inhabiting it.
I am quite certain that Love has not yet flown out of the window. I am
quite sure, too, of another thing, that even if Poverty does come in at
this door, Love will remain. Oh, silly Hilda, what have you to do with
the 'Wheel of Fortune'? your position is assured; you dwell safely
enthroned in the heart of a good man. Oh, happy Hilda!"
The door was opened, and Hilda Quentyns smiling, with roses on her
cheeks and words of delighted welcome on her lips, rushed into the room.
"How sweet of you to call, Mildred," she exclaimed. "I was just
wondering if you would take any notice of me."
"You dear creature," said Mildred, kissing Hilda and patting her on the
shoulder. "Two hours ago I heard for the first time that you were in
London. I ate my lunch and ordered the victoria, and put on my prettiest
bonnet and drove over to see you as fast as ever the horses would bring
me. I could not well pay my respects to Mrs. Quentyns in a shorter
time."
"I am very glad to see you," said Hilda.
"How childish you look," replied Mildred, gazing at her in a rather
dissatisfied way; "you have no responsibilities at all now, your Jasper
takes the weight of everything, and you live in perpetual sunshine. Is
the state of bliss as blissful as we have always been led to imagine,
Hilda, or are the fairy tales untrue, and does the prince only exist in
one's imagination?"
"Oh, no, he is real, quite real," said Hilda. "I am as happy as it is
possible for a human being to be. Jasper--but I won't talk of him--you
know what I really think of him. Now let me show you my house. Isn't it
a sweet little home? Wasn't it good of Jasper to come here? He wanted a
flat, but when he saw that my heart was set on a little house, he took
this. Don't you like our taste in furniture, Milly? Oh, Milly dear, I
_am_ glad to see you. It is nice to look at one of the dear home-faces
again."
"Come and show me your house," said Mildred; "I am going to stay a long
time--all the afternoon, if possible."
"I am more than glad; you must remain to dinner. I will telegraph to
Jasper to come home early."
"I don't mind if I do," said Mildred. "I have no very special
engagements for this evening, and even if I had I should be disposed to
break them. It is not often one gets the chance of spending an hour in a
nest with two turtle-doves."
"Come, come," said Hilda, "that sounds as if you were laughing at us.
Now you shall see the house, and then we'll have tea together, and you
must tell me all about the old place."
The turtle-doves' nest was a very minute abode. There was only one
story, and the bed-rooms in consequence were small and few.
"Aren't we delightfully economical?" said Hilda, throwing open the door
of her own room. "Is not this wee chamber the perfection of snugness?
and this is Jasper's dressing room, and here is such a dear little
bath-room; and this is the spare-room (we have not furnished it yet, but
Jasper says we can't afford to have many visitors, so I'm not making any
special haste). And this is our servants'-room; I did not think when we
lived at Little Staunton that two servants could fit into such a tiny
closet, but these London girls seem quite to like it. Now, Mildred, come
downstairs. You have looked over this thimbleful of a house, and I hope
it has pleased you. Come downstairs and let us talk. I am starving for
news."
"Well, my dear, begin catechising to your heart's content," said
Mildred. She threw herself back into the easiest of the easy-chairs as
she spoke, and toasted her feet before Hilda's cheerful fire. "What do
you want to know first, Mrs. Quentyns?"
"How long is it since you left home--when did you see them all?"
"I was at home a fortnight ago, and I spent the greater part of one
afternoon at the Rectory."
"Oh, did you? Is it awfully changed?"
"No; the house is _in statu quo_. It looks just as handsome and stately
and unconcerned as of old. Aunt Marjorie says it is full of dust, but I
did not notice any. Aunt Marjorie has got quite a new wrinkle between
her brows, and she complains a great deal of the young cook, but my
private opinion is that that unfortunate cook is your aunt's salvation,
for she gives her something else to think of besides the one perpetual
grievance."
"Oh, yes, yes," said Hilda, a little impatiently, "poor dear Aunt
Maggie; and what about the others? How is my father?"
"He looks thin, and his hair is decidedly silvered; but his eyes just
beamed at me with kindness. He never spoke once about the change in his
circumstances, and on Sunday he preached a sermon which set me crying."
"Dear Mildred, I think father's sermons were always beautiful. How I
should like to hear him once again!"
"So you will, of course, very soon; they're all expecting you down. Why
don't you go?"
The faintest shadow of a cloud flitted across Hilda's face.
"Jasper is so busy," she said.
"Well, go without him. I am quite convinced you would do them a sight of
good."
"Jasper does not like me to leave him," said Hilda; "we both intend to
run down to the Rectory for a flying visit soon, but he is so busy just
at present that he cannot fix a day. Go on, Milly, tell me about the
others. What of Babs?"
"I saw her squatting down on the middle of the floor with a blind kitten
just three days old in her lap. The kitten squalled frightfully, and
Babs kept on calling it 'poor, _pretty_ darling.' I thought badly of the
kitten's future prospects, but well of its nurse's; she looked
particularly flourishing."
"And Judy?" said Hilda, "she wasn't well a little time ago, but Aunt
Marjorie has said nothing about her health lately. Has she quite, quite
recovered? Did she look ill? Did you see much of her?"
"She was sitting in the ingle-nook, reading a book."
"Reading a book!" said Hilda; "but Judy does not like reading. Was the
day wet when you called at the Rectory?"
"No; the sun was shining all the time."
"Why wasn't she out scampering and running all the time, and hunting for
grubs?"
"She had a cough, not much, just a little hack, and Aunt Marjorie
thought she had better stay indoors."
"Then she is _not_ quite well!"
"Aunt Marjorie says she is, and that the hack is nothing at all. By the
way, Hilda, if your husband won't spare you to go down to the Rectory,
why don't you have that child here on a visit? Nothing in the world
would do her so much good as a sight of your face."
"Oh, I know, I know; my little Judy, my treasure! But the spare-room is
not ready, and Jasper is so prudent, he won't go in debt for even a
shilling's-worth. He has spent all his available money on the house
furnishing, and says the spare-room must wait for a month or so. As soon
as ever it is furnished, Judy is to be the first guest."
"Can't you hire a little bedstead of some sort?" said Mildred, "and put
it up in that room, and send for the child. What does Judy care about
furnished rooms!"
"You think she looks really ill, do you, Mildred?"
"I will be candid with you, Hilda. I did not like her look--she suffers.
It is sad to read suffering in a child's eyes. When I got a peep into
Judy's eyes I could see that her soul was drooping for want of
nourishment. She is without that particular thing which is essential to
her."
"And what is that?"
"Your love. Do send for her, Hilda. Never mind whether the spare-room is
furnished or not."
Hilda sat and fidgeted with her gold chain. Her face, which had been
full of smiles and dimples, was now pale with emotion, her eyes were
full of trouble.
"Why are you so irresolute?" asked Mildred impatiently.
"Oh, I--I don't know. I am not quite my own mistress. I--I must think."
The servant entered the room with a letter on a little salver. Hilda
took it up.
"Why, this is from Judy," she exclaimed. "Perhaps she's much better
already. Do you mind my reading it, Mildred?"
"Read it, certainly. I shall like to know how the dear queer mite is
getting on."
Hilda opened her letter, and, taking out a tiny pink sheet, read a few
words written on it.
"MY DEAR HILDA:
"I am writing you a little letter. I hope you are quite well. I
don't fret, and I hope you don't. I think of you and never
forget you. I give you a kiss for now and for to-night, and for
every other night, and a million, thousand kisses for always.
"Your loving
"JUDY."
"Here are my kisses."
A whole lot of crosses and round o's followed.
"Here is my tex for us both. 'The Lord wach between me and
thee.'
"JUDY."
Hilda's eyes filled with sudden tears.
"There is something else in the envelope," she exclaimed. "I think a
scrawl from Aunt Marjorie. I had a volume from her yesterday. I wonder
what she wants to write about again."
"MY DARLING HILDA:
"Now don't be frightened, my dear, but I have something to tell
you which I think you ought to know. Our dear little Judy
fainted in a rather alarming way in church yesterday. Of course
we sent for the doctor, and he says she is very weak, and must
stay in bed for a day or two. He says we need not be alarmed,
but that her strength is a good deal run down, and that she must
have been fretting about something. It just shows how little
doctors know, for I _never_ saw the child sweeter, or more
gentle, or more easily amused. You know what a troublesome
little creature she used to be, always flashing about and
upsetting things, and bringing all kinds of obnoxious insects
into the house; but she has been just like a lamb since your
wedding, sitting contentedly by my side, looking over her fairy
story-books, and assuring me she wasn't fretting in the least
about you, and that she was perfectly happy. Babs did say that
she heard her crying now and then at night, but I fancy the
child must have been mistaken, for Judy certainly would not
conceal any trouble from me. I will write to you again about her
to-morrow. She directed this envelope to you herself yesterday
morning before church, so I am slipping my letter into it. Don't
be frightened, dear, we are taking all possible care of her.
"Your affectionate
"AUNT MARJORIE."
"There," said Hilda, looking up with a queer, terrified expression in
her eyes, "I knew how it would be. I married Jasper to please myself,
and I have killed Judy. Judy's heart is broken. Oh, what shall I do,
Milly, what shall I do?"
"Let me read Aunt Marjorie's letter," said Mildred.
Her quick, practical eyes glanced rapidly over the old lady's illegible
writing.
"I don't think you have killed her, Hilda," said Miss Anstruther then,
"but she is simply fading away for want of the love which was her life.
Go back to her; go back at once, and she will revive. Come, there is not
a moment to be lost. I'll run out and send a telegram to Little
Staunton. I'll tell them to expect you this evening. Where's an A B C?
Have you got one?"
"I think there is one on the wagon in the dining room. I'll fetch it."
Hilda ran out of the room; she brought back the time-table in a moment.
Her face was white; her hands shook so that she could scarcely turn the
leaves.
"Let me find the place," said Mildred. "There, let me see. Oh, what a
pity, you have lost the four o'clock train, and there isn't another
until seven. Never mind, say you will take that one. You'll arrive at
Bickley at twenty minutes to ten, and soon after ten you'll be at the
Rectory. I'll run at once and send off the telegram, for the sooner
Judy's heart is relieved the better."
Mildred rushed to the davenport, filled in a telegraph-form, and brought
it to Hilda to read.
"There, is that right?" she exclaimed. "Put your name to it if you are
satisfied."
Hilda dashed the tears, which were still blinding her eyes, away.
"Yes, yes," she exclaimed, "that will do. Take it at once, this moment,
before--before I have time to change my mind."
Mildred had written, "Tell Judy to expect me at ten to-night." Hilda
added her name, and Mildred prepared to leave the room.
"Good-by, Hilda," she said. "I won't come back, for you will need all
your time to pack, and to leave things in order for your Jasper.
Good-by, dear. Of course, you could not _think_ of changing your mind,
it would be wicked, cruel; yes, it would be terribly cruel. Good-by,
Hilda, good-by."
Mildred seated herself in the victoria and desired her coachman to drive
to the nearest telegraph-office.
"I have made a discovery," she said, under her breath. "Jasper Quentyns
was not the prince; no, _my_ prince has not yet shown his shining face
above the horizon. Doubtless he will never come; but better that than to
think he has arrived and wake to find him common clay. Hilda is
absolutely _afraid_ of her husband. No, Hilda, I would not be in your
shoes for a good deal."
CHAPTER X.
WAITING.
The days are clear,
Day after day,
When April's here,
That leads to May,
And June
Must follow soon.
Stay, June, stay!
If only we could stop the moon
And June!
It was an April day, but the weather was still cold at Little Staunton,
and Aunt Marjorie thought it well to have a nice bright fire burning in
Judy's bedroom.
Judy was sitting up in bed, her hair was combed back from her face, she
wore a pink dressing-gown, the black shadows under her eyes were not so
marked as yesterday, her firm little lips had an expression of extreme
and touching patience. Judy's movements were somewhat languid, and her
voice when she spoke had lost its high, glad pitch.
Aunt Marjorie kept coming in and out of the room. Miss Mills fussed with
the fire, went to the window to look out over the landscape and to make
the same remark many times.
"How late the spring is this year," said the governess, in her dreary
monotone.
Babs stood with her back to Judy, sorting a cabinet full of curiosities.
There was no shadow of any sorrow on Babs' serene face--her full
contented voice prattled on interminably.
A drawing-board lay on Judy's bed, a sheet of drawing-paper, two or
three pencils, and a thick piece of india-rubber lay by her side. For
over an hour she had been drawing industriously. A pink color came into
her cheeks as she worked, and Aunt Marjorie said to herself:
"The child is all right--she just needed a little rest--she'll soon be
as well as possible. I'll go downstairs now, and write to Hilda about
her."
Miss Mills also thought that Judy looked better. Miss Mills was still
guilty of keeping up a somewhat one-sided correspondence with the person
whom she so cordially hated--she had not heard from him for nearly a
month, and thought that the present would be a good opportunity to write
another letter to remind him of her existence. So, glancing at Judy as
she went, she also left the room.
The door was shut carefully, and the two little sisters were alone. When
this happened, Judy threw down her pencils and gave utterance to a
faint, quickly-smothered sigh.
"Why do you do it so softly?" said Babs, not troubling herself to turn
her face, but still keeping her stout back to her sister.
"Do what so softly?" asked Judy.
"Those groans to yourself. Aunt Marjorie won't believe that you ever
groan, and I _know_ you do. She said you was as happy as the day is
long, and I said you _wasn't_. You know you do sob at night, or you have
she-cups or something."
"Look here," said Judy, "it's very, very, _very_ unkind of you, Babs, to
tell Aunt Marjorie what I do at night. I didn't think you'd be so
awfully mean. I am ill now, and Aunt Maggie would do anything for me,
and I'll ask her to put you to sleep in Miss Mills' room, if ever you
tell what I do at night again."
"I'll never tell if you don't wish me to," said Babs, in her easy tones.
"You may sob so that you may be heard down in the drawing room and I
won't tell. Look here, Judy, I have found your old knife."
"What old knife?"
"The one you saved that animal with last autumn, don't you remember?"
"Oh, yes, yes--the _dear_ little earwig. Do let me see the knife, Babs;
I thought I had lost it."
"No, it was in the back of your cabinet, just under all the peacock's
feathers. Wasn't the earwig glad when you saved her?"
"Yes," said Judy, smiling, "didn't she run home fast to her family? She
was sticking in the wood and couldn't get out, poor darling, but my dear
little knife cut the wood away and then she ran home. Oh, didn't she go
fast!"
"Yes, didn't she?" said Babs, laughing. "I think earwigs are such
_sweet_ little animals, don't you, Judy?"
"Insects, you mean," said Judy. "Oh, yes, I love them special because
most people hate the poor dears."
"What are you drawing, Judy? What a queer, queer picture!"
"I'm going to call it 'Where the nasty fairies live,'" said Judy, "but I
haven't finished it. Babs, how long is it since Hilda went away?"
"Weeks, and weeks, and weeks," replied Babs. "I has almost forgotten how
long."
"Years and years, you mean," said Judy.
The little pink flush of excitement faded out of her cheeks, her eyes
looked hollow, the shadow under them grew darker than ever.
There came a rush along the passage, and Aunt Marjorie, puffing with
the haste she had used, but trying to walk slowly and to speak calmly,
entered the room.
"Judy, my darling," she said, "I have very good news for you."
"For me," said Judy, flushing and paling almost in the same moment.
"Yes, my dear little pet, very nice news. Your darling Hilda is coming."
"Aunt Maggie!"
"Yes, here's a telegram from her. She says in it, '_Tell Judy to expect
me at ten to-night_.' Why, my darling, how white you are! Babs, run and
fetch me those smelling-salts. Now, Judy, just one whiff. Ah, now you're
better."
"Yes, auntie, much, much, _much_ better. I am only awfully happy."
Judy smiled, and the tears rushed to her eyes; her little thin hand
trembled, she tried to push her drawing materials away.
"Please may I have the telegram?" she asked.
"Of course you may, my darling. Oh, and here comes kind Miss Mills with
your chicken-broth. Just the thing to set you up. Drink it off, dear.
Miss Mills, our sweet Hilda is coming to-night. I have just had a
telegram, she'll be here about ten."
"Who's to meet her?" asked Miss Mills. "You forget that there are no
horses in the stables now, and no carriage in the coach-house."
"I did forget," said Aunt Marjorie. "I must send a message to Stephens
to take a fly to the station."
"I'll go and tell him as soon as ever tea is over," answered Miss Mills.
"Ah, Judy! You'll soon be well now, Judy, won't you?"
"I am well already," said Judy. "What delicious chicken-broth! Auntie
dear, stoop down, I want to whisper something to you."
"Yes, my dearie, what is it?"
"I needn't be asleep when Hilda comes, need I? You will let me sit up in
bed, won't you? I'll promise to be so quiet, I won't make a sound to
disturb Babs, but I should love to be awake and waiting for darling
Hilda. Please, please, auntie, say I may."
"My darling--until ten o'clock! so awfully late. Judy dear, you're
getting quite feverish--you must calm yourself, my pet. Well, then,
well, _anything_ to soothe you. We'll see how you keep, dearie. If you
don't get at all excited, I--I'll see what I shall do. Now I must leave
you, darling, to go and get Hilda's room ready. I wonder if Jasper is
coming with her, she doesn't say anything about him."
Aunt Marjorie trotted out of the room, Miss Mills started on her walk
to the village, and Judy began to speak eagerly to Babs.
"I am quite well," she said; "you'll never hear me sob again at night. I
am quite the happiest girl in the world. Oh, think of kissing Hilda
again; and I didn't fret, no, I didn't--not really. Babs, don't you
think you might make the room look pretty? You might get out all the
animals and put them on the chimney-piece."
"I'll be very glad to do that," replied Babs. "I often wanted to look at
the darlings, but it was no fun when you didn't wish to play with them."
She opened a little box as she spoke, and taking out china dogs, cats,
cocks and hens, ducks, giraffes, elephants, monkeys, and many other
varieties of the animal world, bestowed them with what taste she could
manage on the mantelpiece. "Don't they look sweet!" she exclaimed. "I
suppose you're not strong enough to have a game, Judy? If you could bray
like the donkey, I'd be the roaring bull."
"To-morrow, perhaps, I can," said Judy, in a weak voice; "but the room
is not half ready yet. I want you to pin some of my drawings and some of
my texes on the wall. You'll find them in my own box if you open it."
"Yes, yes," said Babs in delight. "I do like making the room pretty for
Hilda, and you ordering me. You may purtend if you like that I am your
little servant."
"Very well; you're putting that picture upside down, Babs."
"Oh, how funny! Is that right?"
"No, it's awfully crooked."
For the next half-hour Babs labored hard, and Judy superintended, giving
sharp criticisms and ordering the arrangements of the chamber with much
peremptoriness.
"Now we must have flowers," she exclaimed. "You must go out to the
garden, and pick all the violets you can get."
"But it's very late to go out," said Babs, "and Miss Mills will be
angry."
"As if that mattered! Who cares who is angry when Hilda is coming? The
worst Miss Mills can do is to punish you, and you won't mind that when
you think about Hilda. I know where there are violets, white and blue,
on that south bank after you pass the shrubbery; you know the bank where
the bees burrow, and where we catch ladybirds in the summer; run, Babs,
do run at once and pick all you can find."
Judy's room was decorated to perfection. Judy herself lay in her white
bed, with pink roses on her cheeks, and eyes like two faintly shining
stars, and smiles coming and going on her lips, and eager words dropping
now and then from her impatient little tongue.
"What is the hour now, Aunt Marjorie? Is it really only half-past nine?"
"It is five-and-twenty to ten, Judy, and Miss Mills has gone in the fly
to the station, and your Hilda will be back, if the train is punctual,
by ten o'clock. How wonderfully well you look, my darling. I did right
after all to let you sit up in bed to wait for your dear sister."
"Yes, I am quite well, only--I hope Jasper won't come too."
"Oh, fie! my pet. You know you ought not to say that treasonable sort of
thing--Jasper is Jasper, one of the family, and we must welcome him as
such--but between ourselves, just for no one else to hear in all the
wide world, I do hope also that our dear little Hilda will come here by
herself."
Judy threw her thin arms round Aunt Marjorie's neck and gave her a
silent hug.
"I'll never breathe what you said," she whispered back in her emphatic
voice.
Babs slept peacefully in her cot at the other end of the room. The white
and blue violets lay in a tiny bowl on the little table by Judy's bed.
The rumble of wheels was heard in the avenue. Aunt Marjorie started to
her feet, and the color flew from Judy's face.
"It cannot be Hilda yet," exclaimed the aunt. "No, of course, it is the
doctor. He will say that you are better to-night, Judy."
The medical man entered the room, felt the pulse of his little patient,
looked into her eyes, and gave utterance to a few cheerful words.
"The child is much better, isn't she?" asked Aunt Marjorie, following
him out of the room.
"Hum! I am not so sure; her pulse is weak and quick, and for some reason
she is extremely excited. What is she sitting up in bed for? she ought
to have been in the land of dreams a long time ago."
"Don't you know, Dr. Harvey; didn't we tell you, my niece, Mrs.
Quentyns, is expected to-night? and Judy is sitting up to see her."
"Suspense is very bad for my little patient. What time is Mrs. Quentyns
expected to arrive?"
"About ten. Judy is especially attached to her sister, and if I had
insisted on her trying to go to sleep, she would have tossed about and
worked herself into a fever."
"She is very nearly in one now, and I don't particularly like the look
of excitement in her eyes. I hope Mrs. Quentyns will be punctual. As
soon as ever she comes, the child must settle to sleep. Give her a dose
of that bromide mixture immediately after. I'll come and see her the
first thing in the morning."
CHAPTER XI.
HUSBAND AND WIFE.
But she is far away
Now; nor the hours of night, grown hoar,
Bring, yet to me, long gazing, from the door,
The wind-stirred robe of roseate gray,
And rose-cream of the hour that leads the day,
When we shall meet once more.
--D. G. ROSSETTI.
Hilda Quentyns, Judy's idol, was not the strongest of characters. She
was very sweet and amiable, intensely true and affectionate to those to
whom she gave her heart, but she was somewhat timorous and somewhat
easily led.
Long ago, when Babs was a baby, Hilda's mother had died. Since then Judy
had been her special care.
Now with trembling hands she packed her portmanteau, gave the young cook
and parlor-maid directions what to do in her absence, and then sitting
down before her davenport, prepared to write an explanatory letter to
her husband.
She thought it quite probable that Jasper would be angry with her for
rushing off like this, but for once she intended to brave his
displeasure.
In her heart of hearts she knew exactly the state Judy was in. The
ardent soul was wearing out the delicate little frame. That suffering
which Judy would not speak of, which she was too brave to show sign or
whisper of, was making her body ill. If Hilda went to her darling, the
suffering would cease. Love would shine all round Judy's starved heart,
and she would soon be well and strong again.
"Yes, it is my manifest duty to go to her," whispered the wife to
herself. "I will go to Little Staunton and nurse her for a few days, and
when she is better she must come to London and live with me. Jasper
won't like it--I know he won't like it, but he has really nothing to
complain of, for I told him from the very first what Judy was to me.
Yes, I must go, but I wish--I do wish that the train for Little Staunton
left Waterloo at six instead of seven. I should be well on my journey
before Jasper came back. Oh, Jasper, my darling, why do I say words of
this sort, as if I were--as if I could be--afraid of you!"
Hilda dipped her pen into the ink and wrote the first words of her
letter.
"MY DEAREST HUSBAND:
"When you read this you will be surprised--"
A rather crooked dash of her pen finished this sentence--she was
startled by a quick double knock at the front door. A moment later
Susan, the neat maidservant, brought in a telegram on a salver.
"The boy is waiting to know if there is any answer," she said.
Hilda tore open the yellow envelope; her eyes rested on the following
words:
"Rivers will dine with us. Have everything nice, and expect me
home at 6.30.
"JASPER."
Mrs. Quentyns' first sensation was one of relief.
"It is all right," she exclaimed, looking up at the servant, who was
startled at her mistress's pale cheeks. "I thought my little sister,
Miss Judy, was worse, but the telegram is from your master, Susan. Tell
the boy there is no answer, and send cook to me without a moment's
delay."
Susan left the room, and Hilda slipped the telegram into her pocket. She
still felt only a sense of relief, and the first faint qualms as to
what Jasper would think of her sudden departure had not begun to visit
her. A knock was heard at the drawing-room door.
"Come in, come in," said the young mistress. "Oh, cook," exclaimed
Hilda, "I have just had a telegram from your master. He is bringing a
gentleman home to dine. A rather particular gentleman, and we want a
specially nice dinner. I--I forget what I ordered this morning."
The fat cook bestowed a pitying glance upon Hilda.
"The boiled chicken was to be fricasseed, mum," she said, "and you
ordered me to open one of the tins of oxtail soup; there were to be
apple fritters afterward, and a cheese savory--that is all."
"Yes, yes," said Hilda, putting her hand to her head, "that dinner would
have done very well for Mr. Quentyns and me, but we must make some
alterations now. You had better run round to the fishmonger's, cook, and
go to the butcher's, and order----"
Hilda rushed to her davenport, scribbled some hasty directions on a
piece of paper, and handed them to the servant.
"You must go this moment," she said, "it is six o'clock now; and please
call at the green-grocer's on your way back, and get a pound of bananas
and some Tangerine oranges. I will see that the wine is all right, and
speak to Susan about the table while you are out. Run, cook, run, at
once--things must look their _very_ best, and be served in the best
possible manner for dinner to-night."
The cook muttered something unintelligible, and by no means too well
pleased with her errand, departed.
Hilda called Susan, and going into the dining room helped her to
decorate the table; then after impressing upon the neat little
parlor-maid the necessity of doing what she could to help cook in this
sudden emergency, she ran upstairs to put on her bonnet and jacket, for
the time had almost arrived when she must start on her journey. She had
just come downstairs when the click of the latch-key was heard, and
Jasper, in excellent spirits, entered the house.
"Well, my love," he said, going up to his wife and kissing her; "oh, you
have been out!--did you get my telegram? I told Rivers we should not
dine until half-past seven, in order to give you plenty of time to
prepare. Perhaps you have been ordering some things for dinner, Hilda;
that is right, and just what I should have expected of you. I am
particularly anxious that Rivers should see that I have got the
sweetest, prettiest, and best little wife and housekeeper in the
world."
For some reason which she could not explain, even to herself, Hilda felt
her tongue tied. She returned her husband's kiss, and when he entered
the tiny dining room she followed him.
"Very nice, very nice," he exclaimed, looking with approval at the
dinner-table, which was charmingly decorated with pink Liberty silk and
white flowers. "But what is this?" he added suddenly, "there are only
two places laid. One for you and one for me. We must ring for Susan at
once--I think Rivers would rather sit at the side, away from the fire."
"I--Jasper, I want to tell you something."
"What is it? how pale you are, darling!"
"I want to tell you something," repeated Hilda; "I--I am not going to
dine with you to-night."
"What do you mean, my dear girl--are you ill? what can be the matter?"
"I am not ill, but Judy is--I am going down to Little Staunton. I have
telegraphed to them to expect me by the train due at 9.40, and it is
time for me to go. Is that you, Susan? Please would you order a hansom
at once?"
Susan instantly left the room, closing the door behind her.
For nearly half a minute Quentyns was silent, a great wave of color had
rushed over his face, and it was with difficulty he could keep back some
annoyed and some sarcastic words. He was a man who prided himself on
having great self-control, and before he uttered his first sentence he
felt that he had recovered it.
"You're trembling, dear," he said gently, "and you--you absolutely look
as if you were _afraid_ of me. Come into the drawing room, love, and
tell me what is wrong with Judy. My _bête noire_, Judy! what has been
her last transgression?"
"Jasper, don't, don't," said Hilda, in a voice of pain. "Judy is really
ill this time--she fainted in church on Sunday; she is in bed now, and
the doctor says she is very weak."
"I suppose so, or she would not have fainted. I used constantly to faint
when I was a child--the slightest thing sent me off. I was not kept in
bed afterward, for children were not cockered up and fussed over when I
was young. My faint was generally traced to over-eating. If you must go
down to see Judy, I don't wish to prevent you, Hilda, but why go
to-night?"
"Oh, Jasper, I must--I must run away this instant too, for I hear the
cab--I telegraphed to say I would go."
Jasper put on a new stubborn look which Hilda had never seen before.
"I don't wish to coerce you," he said, in a cold voice, "you're
perfectly free to act as you think right in the matter. I can go down
with you by an early train in the morning, or you can go by yourself
now, and put me to extreme inconvenience. You're at liberty to choose."
"Don't speak like that, Jasper, you pain me so dreadfully."
"I fail to see how I am paining you, I am giving you a free choice. You
can be with Judy before noon to-morrow, or you can go immediately."
"I sent a telegram to her to expect me; it is so bad for sick children
to be kept waiting."
"So it seems. Yes, Susan, tell the cab to wait."
Susan left the room, and heavy tears gathered in Hilda's eyes.
"Can I send another telegram?" she asked weakly.
"I don't believe you can, the telegraph office will be closed at Little
Staunton. Never mind, Hilda, you had better go; I am disappointed,
annoyed, of course, but what of that? What is a husband to a sick
sister? Go, my dear, or you will miss your train!"
"No, I won't go," said Hilda; "you have made it impossible for me to
go. I'll stay and entertain your guest, and Judy will suffer. Yes; don't
kiss me just now, Jasper; I think you are cruel, but I'll stay."
Hilda went over to the bell and rang it.
Susan answered the summons.
"Give the cabman this shilling," said Mrs. Quentyns, "and tell him that
he is not required."
"You have done quite right, my love," said Quentyns, "and when you have
got over your first little feeling of annoyance you will see the matter
in the same light that I do. I'll telegraph to Little Staunton early in
the morning to tell them to expect us by the 11.35 train. Of course Judy
would have been asleep hours before you reached her to-night, so it does
not really matter in the least. Now come upstairs and put on your very
prettiest dress, that soft pink _chiffon_, in which you look as like a
rosebud as a living woman can. I have capital news for you, Hilda, my
love; Rivers certainly is a brick; he has got me to act as counsel
in----"
Quentyns talked on in his satisfied, joyous tones. He had won the
victory, and could afford to be very gracious and generous. Hilda felt
as if a band of iron had closed round her heart. She was too gentle and
sweet in her nature to be long angry with her husband. Her face was a
little paler than usual, however, and her eyes had a weary look in them.
Rivers, who was a very keen observer of human nature, noticed the silent
depression which hung over her, but Hilda's husband failed to observe
it.
"I can easily manage her," he muttered to himself; "it would have been
beyond all reason to have had her absent from our first little dinner
just because a child had fainted. Pshaw!--I can see that Hilda is going
to be painfully fanciful; it all comes from having lived so long in the
wilds of the country. Well, I'll take her down to Little Staunton
to-morrow, and be specially good to her, but she must get over these
absurdities about Judy, or life will not be worth living."
The dinner was a success, and Hilda looked lovely. A certain dreamy and
far-away expression in her eyes added the final touch to her beauty.
When the men sat together over their wine, Rivers spoke of her in tones
of rapture.
"You're the luckiest fellow in Christendom, Jasper," he said; and Jasper
Quentyns, who looked up to Tom Rivers as the first of men, felt almost
unduly elated.
"The lines had fallen unto him in pleasant places," so he muttered, and
he forgot all about a sick and troublesome child, who at this very
instant was counting the moments as they flew by, in her tired and weary
eagerness to clasp her arms round Hilda's neck. Hilda, too, in the
drawing room, was shedding silent tears, but what did that matter? for
Jasper knew nothing about them.
Jasper and Hilda were both musical, and Tom Rivers liked nothing better
than to listen to their voices as they sang duet after duet together.
The songs they sung were full of noble sentiment. Their voices mingled
until they almost sounded like one rich and perfect note, as they sang
of love which is undying and self-sacrifice which is ennobling. Quentyns
felt a glow of elation filling his breast as his eyes rested on his
lovely wife, and the tormentings of Hilda's conscience were soothed, and
she too partly forgot Judy.
Breakfast was served at an early hour next morning at Philippa Terrace,
and Quentyns and his wife started for Little Staunton in time to catch
the early train.
They arrived at the small way-side station not more than twenty minutes
beyond the appointed time, and were met by Miss Mills, who was driving
the village pony cart herself.
The governess addressed Hilda in a calm voice, but her inward
excitement was very manifest. Jasper had talked cheerfully all the way
down to Little Staunton, but Hilda had been almost silent. She felt
oppressed--she dreaded she knew not what. Now, when she looked into Miss
Mills' face, she felt her own turn pale.
"No, don't speak," she said, in a hoarse whisper. "I _know_ you have bad
news, but don't tell me now, not until we get home."
"Get in," said Miss Mills, "I won't be long driving you to the Rectory.
It is rather important for you to be there, and as the trap only holds
two, perhaps Mr. Quentyns won't mind walking."
"Not at all," said Jasper, in his pleasant, calm voice. "Can you make
room for our portmanteau at your feet, Miss Mills? Ah, yes, that will do
nicely. By the way, how are you all? has Judy quite recovered from her
faint?"
When Quentyns asked this question Miss Mills bent suddenly forward under
the pretense of trying to arrange the portmanteau.
"We won't be any time getting to the Rectory," she said, turning to
Hilda; she touched the pony with her whip as she spoke and they started
forward.
"It was such a pity you didn't come last night," said the governess, as
they entered the Rectory gates.
"I--I could not help it," murmured poor Hilda. With one hand she was
tightly grasping the edge of the little basket-carriage.
"Stop, there is father," she exclaimed suddenly. "Let me go to him. I--I
can bear him to tell me if there is anything wrong."
In an instant she reached the Rector's side. Her arms were round his
neck, her head on his shoulder, and she was sobbing her heart out on his
breast.
"My dearest Hilda, my darling!" exclaimed her father. "What is the
meaning of all this? Why are you so dreadfully unhappy, my child?"
"Tell me, father, I can bear it from you. Is she--is she dead?"
"Is who dead?"
"Ju--Judy."
"No; what has put that into your head? But your little sister is very
ill, Hilda. I am not so much alarmed about her as your Aunt Marjorie is,
but I confess her state puzzles me. I saw Dr. Harvey to-day, and I don't
think he is satisfied either. It seems that for some reason the child
was over-excited last night--there was difficulty in getting her off to
sleep, and she cried in a very distressing and painful way. I was
obliged to sit with her myself. I held her hand, poor little darling,
and had a prayer with her, and--toward morning she dropped off into a
sleep."
"And," continued Hilda, "she was better when she awoke, wasn't she? Do
say she was, father. You showed her Jasper's telegram the very instant
she awoke, and of course she got much better immediately."
"My dear Hilda, the strange thing about Judy has yet to be told; she has
not awakened--she is still asleep, and this prolonged and unnatural
sleep disturbs Dr. Harvey a good deal."
"I had better go to her at once, father. I think the doctor _must_ be
mistaken in thinking sleep bad. When Judy sees me sitting by her bedside
she will soon cheer up and get like her old self. I'll run to her now,
father: I don't feel half so much alarmed since you tell me that she is
only asleep."
The Rector gave vent to a troubled sigh; Hilda put wings to her feet,
and with the lightness and grace of a bird sped toward the house.
"Hilda, Hilda!" called her husband. He had taken a short cut across some
fields, and was now entering the Rectory domain. He thought it would be
quite the correct thing for his wife to wait for him. Surely she would
like to enter her family circle with him by her side. "Hilda, stop!" he
cried, and he hurried his own footsteps.
But if Hilda heard she did not heed. She rushed on, and soon disappeared
from view inside the deep portico of the old house.
Two or three moments later she was sitting without her hat and jacket,
and with a pair of noiseless house-slippers on her feet, by Judy's
bedside.
All the preparations which had been made with such care and pains by
Babs the night before were still making the nursery look pretty. The
little china animals sat in many funny groups on the mantelpiece. The
white and blue violets lay in a large bowl on a table by Judy's side.
One of the little sleeper's hands was thrown outside the counterpane.
Hilda touched it, and found that it burned with a queer, uncomfortable
dry heat.
"But how quietly she is sleeping," said Mrs. Quentyns, looking up with
tears in her eyes at Aunt Marjorie; "why are you so solemn and
sad?--surely this sleep must be good for her."
"My dear, Dr. Harvey calls Judy's state more stupor than sleep. He says
the most extraordinary things about the child ... that she has been
over-excited and subjected to a severe mental strain, and he fears
mischief to the brain. But surely he must be wrong, for nothing _could_
exceed the quiet of our life at the Rectory since the money has gone and
you have left us, and no one could have been less excited in her ways
than Judy has been since your marriage. I can't make out what Dr. Harvey
means."
"I think I partly understand," said Hilda; her voice had a choking
sound. "Don't talk so loud, Aunt Marjorie," she said impatiently; "you
will wake her--you will disturb her."
"But that is what we wish," interrupted the old lady. "The doctor says
we must do everything in our power to rouse her. Ah, and here he comes;
he will speak for himself."
"I am glad to see you, Mrs. Quentyns," said Dr. Harvey. "Your not coming
last night when the child expected you was a grave mistake, but better
late than never."
He stopped speaking then, and bent over the little sleeper.
"Draw up the blind," he said to Aunt Marjorie, "let us have all the
light we can. Now don't be frightened, Mrs. Quentyns--I am not going to
hurt the child, but I must examine her eyes."
Hilda felt as if she could scarcely restrain a stifled scream as the
doctor lifted first one lid and then the other, and looked into the
dark depths of the sweet eyes.
"The child has got a shock," he said then. "I feared it when I called
early this morning. I don't say for a moment that she will not get
better, but her state is very precarious. I should like you to nurse her
altogether, Mrs. Quentyns; much depends on her seeing you by her side
when she wakes."
"I shall never leave her again," said Hilda, in a stifled tone.
The doctor's practiced ear caught the suppressed hysteria in her voice.
"Come, come," he said cheerily, "you have nothing to blame yourself for.
The little one has evidently felt your absence in a remarkable manner."
"Really, doctor, you are quite mistaken," began Aunt Marjorie. "What I
principally noticed about Judy was her great quietness and docility
since Hilda left. She scarcely spoke of her sister, and seemed content
to sit by my side and read fairy stories. She used to be such a very
excitable, troublesome sort of child. If you ask me frankly, I think
Hilda's absence did her good."
The doctor looked from the old lady to the young.
"I must adhere to my first opinion," he said. "The child has missed her
sister. Now that you have come, Mrs. Quentyns, we will hope for the
best."
He went out of the room as he spoke, and Aunt Marjorie followed him.
Hilda dropped on her knees by Judy's cot.
"Oh, my God, forgive me," she cried, in a broken anguished prayer. "I
did wrong to leave my little Judy. Oh, God, only spare her life, and I
will vow to you that _whatever_ happens she shall never leave me in the
time to come. Whatever happens," repeated Hilda, in a choking voice of
great agony. Then she rose and took her place beside the child's bed.
A couple of hours passed by. The door was softly opened, and Quentyns
stole into the room. He had been very much shocked by the doctor's
account of the child, and his face and tone expressed real sympathy as
he came up to Hilda.
"Poor little Judy!" he said, bending over her. "What a queer excitable
little mite it is."
Hilda beat her foot impatiently.
"Well, my darling," continued Quentyns, not noticing his wife's
suppressed agitation, "she will soon be all right now you have come.
Lunch is ready, Hilda, and you must be weak for want of food. Come,
dearest, let me take you down to the dining room."
"Oh, no, Jasper! I can't leave Judy; and please, please don't talk so
loud."
"The doctor does not wish her to be kept _too_ quiet, Hilda; and surely,
my dear, you are not going to starve yourself!"
"Aunt Marjorie will send me something to the dressing room; I can't be
away from Judy even for one minute. There is no saying when she will
awake, and I must be with her when she does."
Quentyns smothered an impatient exclamation. After a pause he said
gently:
"As you please, dear; I will bring something up myself to the dressing
room for you," and he stole on tip-toe out of the room.
Nothing could be more patient than his manner, and Hilda reproached
herself for the feeling of irritation which his presence gave her.
There came a sigh from the bed--the faintest of sounds; Mrs. Quentyns
turned her head quickly, and saw to her rapture that Judy's big
greeny-gray eyes were wide open and fixed earnestly on her face. There
was no surprise in the pretty eyes, nor any additional color in the pale
little face.
"Hilda," said Judy, "I _thought_ it was only a bad dream--you never
went away, did you?"
"I am never going to leave you again, Judy," replied her sister; "never,
never, as long as we both live. I vow--I promise--nothing shall part us,
nothing except death."
Hilda flung herself on her knees by the child's bed, and burst into
hysterical sobs.
CHAPTER XII.
HILDA'S ENGAGEMENT RING.
My heart is heavy for scorn,
Mine eyes with impatient tears,
But heaven looks blue through the cherry-blooms,
And preaches away my fears.
--EMILY PFEIFFER.
Contrary to the doctor's fears, and in accordance with Hilda's hopes,
Judy grew better. A weight had been lifted from her heart--her starved
affections were nourished and soothed once more. Hilda scarcely ever
left her room, and Hilda's presence was perpetual sunshine to the child.
No one could possibly have behaved better than Quentyns did during this
trying time. A certain feeling of compunction had visited him when he
discovered how real Judy's illness was. He was assailed by a momentary
pricking of his conscience, but as the little girl quickly grew better,
and was soon pronounced by the doctor to be quite out of danger, it was
but natural that an active man of the world like Quentyns should wish to
return to town, should find the quiet Rectory simply unendurable, and
also that he should wish to take his young wife with him.
The Quentyns arrived at Staunton Rectory on a certain Wednesday, and on
the following Sunday evening Quentyns thought the time had arrived for
him to speak to Hilda about their return to town. He had not seen much
of her during the days which had intervened, and he was obliged now to
send Babs with a message to Judy's room to ask his wife to come to him.
Hilda was reading aloud to Judy when Babs entered the room, and said in
her important, calm way:
"Jasper wants you, Hilda, and you are to go to him this minute."
Hilda could read beautifully, and Judy had lain in a dream of rapture,
listening to the beloved voice as it told the old story of Christian and
his pilgrimage. Now the wistful, distressed look crept back into her
face.
"Never mind, dear," said Hilda, bending forward and kissing the child.
"I shall not be long away."
Quentyns was waiting for his wife in the large conservatory which opened
into the drawing room. It was nearly empty of flowers and plants now,
but was still a pleasant place to lounge about in.
"Well, my love," he said in his pleasant tone. "Why, how pale you look,
Hilda. I am not going to scold you, darling--oh, no, not for the world;
but I haven't got too much of your society during these last few days. I
don't blame you, and I am not jealous; but if you _could_ spare me half
an hour now, there are one or two things I want to talk over with you."
"Of course I can spare you half an hour, Jasper, or an hour for that
matter, if you want it," replied Hilda cheerfully. "Judy is much, much
better to-night, and I am feeling quite happy about her."
Hilda slipped her hand through her husband's arm as she spoke; he gave
the little hand an affectionate squeeze and drew his wife close to his
side.
"I am glad Judy is better," he said. "What I have to propose will be
quite convenient then, Hilda. I want to go back to town by the first
train in the morning. I have heard from Rivers, and----What is it, my
love? You really do look very pale. You are overdoing yourself, and I
cannot allow it. Now that Judy is better you must rest. I shall get Dr.
Pettifer to look you up and give you a tonic when we get back to town."
"Stop, Jasper," said Hilda suddenly. "I am not tired nor worn out in
any way. I look pale now because my heart beats--because----Jasper, I
cannot go to town with you to-morrow. I know you must go; of course, I
quite understand that; but I am not going--not until Judy is well enough
to be moved."
Quentyns did not reply for several seconds, then he said in a gentle
tone, which did not betray an atom of his true feeling:
"I half expected you to say something of this sort, Hilda; I cannot
pretend that I am not sorry. The fine weather is coming on; the London
season will soon be at its height. I do not mean for a moment to imply
that we can avail ourselves of what is termed a season in town, but for
a poor and struggling man it is essential that he should leave no stone
unturned to introduce himself to those persons who can and will help
him. The influential sort of people who can materially assist me in my
career are now in London, Hilda. You, my darling, are an excuse for many
valuable introductions. You see, therefore, that not alone from an
affectionate point of view you ought now to be with me. But," continued
Jasper, looking straight ahead of him, and fixing his fine, intelligent
eyes on the distant landscape, "I waive all that. I understand that you
do not wish to leave Judy until she is fit to be moved to the seaside.
If she maintains the progress she is now making, Dr. Harvey will
probably allow Aunt Marjorie to take her away at the end of the week. I
shall have you home on Saturday at the latest, Hilda."
"Yes," said Hilda. "I hope so, but--but, Jasper, you still fail to
understand me. When Judy goes away, she is not going to the seaside--she
is coming with me to London--to Philippa Terrace. It is a promise, and
I--I won't--I can't go back from it. I stand or fall by my promise,
Jasper--I wish to say so now once for all."
"You stand or fall by your promise!" repeated Quentyns. "What an
extraordinary remark. One would suppose, my darling, that I was an ogre
or the worst sort of tyrant. I always told you that Judy should come to
stay with us for a few weeks when we had a room to receive her in. If
matters progress as satisfactorily as I hope, we shall have a snug,
prettily furnished, little spare room by the end of the present season.
I promise you, Hilda, that Judy shall be its first tenant."
Hilda laid her hand with a sort of trembling, nervous impatience, on her
husband's arm.
"I have made a mistake--I have been a coward," she said. "Even now,
Jasper, you don't a bit understand me. Long ago, when mother died, she
left Judy in my charge. I ought never to have married and left her. Judy
is not an ordinary child, and she suffered. When I went away her heart
was starved. She could not live with a starved heart. In my absence, my
little Judy nearly died. She is better now--she is recovering because I
am with her. I am never going to leave her again while she lives."
"Hilda, what nonsense you talk," said Quentyns, with temper in his tone.
"If Judy lives to grow up, she will marry like other girls--and will
leave you of her own accord."
"If she does," replied Hilda, "that alters the case, but until she
leaves me by her own wish or marries, she is in my charge. I will not be
parted from her, Jasper. I shall not return to Philippa Terrace until I
can bring her with me."
"Is that really your final decision?" said Quentyns--he turned round now
and looked at his wife; his face was very cold, its expression carefully
veiled. He was intensely anxious not to show even a trace of ill-temper.
His words were guarded. "Is that your final decision, Hilda?" he said,
and there was a fine withering sort of sarcasm in his voice. "Do you
mean seriously to desert the husband you married not three months ago
for the sake of a child's whim? Is that the way you keep your marriage
vow?"
"No, no, Jasper! I want to be true to you both. I made two vows, and I
want to keep them both. Help me, Jasper; I am not a bit a strong-minded
girl, I am just very loving. My heart is full of love to you and to
Judy. Help me to do this--help me to love you both, to serve you both.
Go back to town to-morrow and furnish the spare room, and I will bring
Judy back with me on Friday or Saturday."
"I said I should not run in debt. I have no more money to spend on
furniture at present. You don't really care for me, Hilda, or you would
never speak as you do. But, once for all, I will not be drawn into a
path which simply means ruin for the sake of any woman, and for the
ridiculous fancies of any child. I will buy no furniture until I can pay
for it. That ends the matter, my dear. If you are determined to stay at
the Rectory for the summer, they will all, I am sure, be charmed to have
you, and I will try and run down as often as I can. I need not say that
I think you are making a most grave mistake, but a willful woman must
e'en have her way, I suppose. Ah, and here comes the Rector, he has just
returned from evening service."
Quentyns went toward the door of the conservatory, which he flung open.
Mr. Merton was just entering his drawing room.
"One moment, Jasper--one moment," said Hilda; she rushed after her
husband, her face was like death, her eyes were blazing with passion.
"Your cruel words make anything possible," she said. "I made two vows
before God, and I will keep them both. There, this was costly, I
presume. You spent money on it--sell it again, and buy the furniture
that you will not go in debt for."
She thrust her engagement ring into Quentyns' hand and rushed away.
CHAPTER XIII.
JUDY'S ROOM.
An ear that waits to catch
A hand upon the latch.
--DORA GREENWELL.
"Here is a letter from Jasper, Hilda darling," said Aunt Marjorie,
coming into Judy's bedroom two or three days after the events mentioned
in the last chapter. "I know the hand-writing, dear. How strong and
manly it looks. I do love a manly hand, don't you?"
Hilda did not reply. She rose from her seat by Judy's side, and taking
her husband's letter, walked to the window, and, standing with her back
to the light, opened it eagerly. Her face was a little pale and worn,
and her eyes had tired lines under them. No one had noticed any change
in her, however. Judy was fast recovering--each day her spirits rose,
her appetite improved, her strength grew greater. She was to be taken
into Hilda's old boudoir to-day, and Babs was importantly moving the
beloved china animals, arranging flowers, and getting the room ready
for the great event.
Aunt Marjorie, after her usual fashion, fussed over Judy while Hilda
read her letter. It was brief, but somehow it gave the young wife
unexpected hope and pleasure:
"MY DEAREST WIFE:
"Pray forgive me for not writing sooner, but I have been
exceedingly busy since I returned to town, and have dined each
night with Rivers at his club. I send a hasty line now to say
that you can bring Judy back to Philippa Terrace whenever she is
strong enough to be moved, as I have given Shoolbred full
directions with regard to furnishing the spare room, and have
just had a letter from him to say the goods will be delivered
to-day.
"Pray don't tire yourself more than is necessary. And believe
me,
"Your affectionate husband,
"JASPER QUENTYNS."
"Judy," said Hilda--she turned eagerly, the old lovely color mantling
her cheeks, and the brightness of hope filling her eyes. "Isn't Jasper
good, Judy? I have just heard from him--he says the furniture is coming
in for your room to-day. We can go back to town as soon as ever Dr.
Harvey thinks you strong enough to be moved, my pet."
"Which won't be this week," interrupted Aunt Marjorie. "It would be the
sheerest madness. Has Jasper proposed such a thing, Hilda? If so, I can
only say how like a man. In about a fortnight, this dear child may be
the better for change of air.... I have no doubt too that Dr. Harvey
will be pleased to have a London opinion about her. There may be a
weakness of the heart's action. I never am easy about people who faint
off suddenly. Now, Judy, why do you flush up? you know you oughtn't to
listen when Auntie talks to Hilda about you. Go on reading your pretty
story book, my love. Yes, Hilda, I should like the child to see a
first-class physician. You know your mother's heart was not strong. He
will doubtless order cod-liver oil, but for my part I prefer cream."
"I know something better than cream for Judy--don't I, my pet?" said
Hilda, turning to her little sister with her bright smile.
"And so do I," replied Judy. "Oh, Hilda, to think of living with you in
your own little house! Oh, Hilda, I'm _too_ happy--I am so happy that my
heart aches. It aches with pleasure."
Judy's thin arms were flung round her sister's neck. Her lips pressed
Hilda's soft young cheek, her eyes looked into Hilda's. It seemed to
them both at that moment that soul answered to soul.
"Now what nonsense this is," said Aunt Marjorie in her fussy tones.
"Judy, I hope Hilda is not going to encourage you in silly sentimental
talk of that kind. You say your heart aches with pleasure. Really, my
dear, I have no patience to listen to you. I should like to know what a
child like you knows about heart-aches--you, who have been brought up in
what I may call the very lap of luxury. For, Hilda, I have made it the
object of my life ever since poverty came to us, to prevent even the
slightest shadow of its wings touching the children. They have had their
excellent governess, and their warm schoolroom and snug bedroom. I cut
down one of my own fur cloaks to give them really nice winter jackets,
and I took special care that the schoolroom table should be as liberal
as ever. It is impossible, therefore, for me to understand Judy's silly
words about her heart aching."
Aunt Marjorie left the room, and Judy still softly rubbed her cheek
against Hilda's.
"But my heart did ache," she said after a pause--"it aches with joy now,
and it did ache--oh, it kept crying, it felt starved without you,
Hilda."
"I understand--yes, I understand," replied Hilda.
"You don't mind what Aunt Marjorie says then?"
"Not about you, my own little love."
"Hilda, I did really try very, very hard not to fret."
"The effort was too much for you, my Judy; but never mind, the pain and
the parting are all over now. Isn't it kind of your new brother--isn't
it kind of dear, dear Jasper--to get the nice little room furnished and
ready for you, darling?"
"Yes, Hilda. Has he gone in debt for the furniture? You told me long ago
that the room would have been furnished and that I should have come to
you, but there was no money left, and Jasper would not go in debt. Has
he really gone in debt now, just to please me?"
"No, my love, no--we have managed. You must not ask inquisitive
questions. All is right now, and we shall be very happy together."
Dr. Harvey was highly pleased, when he heard that his little patient was
going to London with her sister. He was a man with plenty of
observation, and he could read between the lines much better than poor
obtuse old Aunt Marjorie.
"You are the right physician for your little sister, Mrs. Quentyns," he
said. "I prophesy that Miss Judy will become perfectly strong and well
in a short time under your care. Yes, there will be nothing to prevent
her traveling to town on Saturday next, if you really wish it. The
weather is extraordinarily mild for the time of year, and a change will
do Judy more good than anything else."
Hilda wrote a joyful letter to her husband that day.
"You are to expect us both on Saturday," she said. "Oh, Jasper, how
happy your letter has made me. How good--how really good you are. Please
forgive me if I was a little hasty with you the other evening. I know
you will never regret, darling husband, helping me to keep both my
vows--the vow I made to you, and the vow I made mother. No one ever had
a more loving wife than I shall prove to you, and no one ever had a
dearer little sister than you will find my Judy when you really know
her."
"Her Judy, indeed!" murmured Quentyns, when he read his wife's letter at
his breakfast-table on the following morning. "Tiresome little
piece--she'll never be _my_ Judy, however much she may be Hilda's. Well,
I suppose I must make the best of a bad job, but if I had known
beforehand that that wretched sentimental child was to be tacked on to
us, I'd have thought twice.... No, I wouldn't though, I love Hilda well
enough to bear some inconvenience for her sake; but if she thinks this
step will really add to our happiness, she'll soon find her mistake.
Fancy her asking me to sell her engagement ring! I can never get over
that. Things can't be quite the same again--it's impossible. Well, well,
more than one friend has told me I'd wake from my dream of bliss some
day. I have, with a vengeance--it has been something of a shock too.
Heigho! I am not going to _look_ like defeat, anyhow. Of course, too,
I'll be just the same to Hilda outwardly. Ah, there's Susan--I'd better
speak to her and get her to tell cook. This is Thursday--they'll be here
in two days."
"Susan," as the neat parlor-maid entered the room, "I have had a letter
from your mistress. She is coming home on Saturday, and will bring
little Miss Merton with her. Have the things come from Shoolbred's yet?"
"The furniture, sir, for the spare room? Yes, it arrived yesterday, and
the man is coming to lay down the carpet and put up the curtains this
morning."
"Well, Susan, you get the room ready, and have the bed well aired, and
tell me if there's anything more wanted--the child has been ill, and
she'll require every comfort. Mrs. Quentyns will wish the room to look
as nice as possible. I know nothing about these matters--see to it,
Susan, will you?"
"Yes, sir; you may depend on me and cook to do everything right----"
"And tell cook about your mistress. Let me see, they'll be home between
five and six on Saturday evening. I shan't dine at home to-night, and if
a telegram comes for me, I want you to wire to my city address. This is
it."
Quentyns left the house, and Susan and the cook spent a busy day in
dusting, polishing, sweeping, and cleaning.
The little spare room looked very sweet and bright with the simple tasty
furniture which Quentyns had chosen. The small bed was inviting in its
white draperies. The furniture, painted in artistic greens, had a cool
and young effect. The room looked like a child's room, and Susan and
cook were in ecstasies over its appearance.
"Master _'ave_ taste and no mistake," said cook. "But why don't he come
and look for 'isself at all we have done, Susan? So natty as everything
looks, and the furniture master's taste and all. Won't missis be
pleased! But why don't he come and say what he thinks of how we has put
the things, Susan?"
"Never you mind," said Susan. "Master knows as the arranging of
furniture is woman's province--there's no fussing in him, and that's
what I likes him for."
Saturday arrived in due time, and the little house in Philippa Terrace
was in apple-pie order.
As Quentyns was leaving for town that morning, Susan waylaid him.
"What hour shall I tell my missis that we may expect you home, sir?" she
asked. "Mrs. Quentyns and the little lady will be here by six, and the
very first thing my missis will ask is, when you are coming in."
"Say," began Quentyns--he paused. "I'll write a line," he said; "you can
give it to your mistress. I shan't be in to dinner to-night, and cook
had better prepare tea for Mrs. Quentyns and Miss Merton, with fish or
chops or something of that sort. I'll write a line--I'm glad you
reminded me, Susan."
Quentyns went into his tiny little study, and wrote a few hasty words.
"DEAR HILDA: I have some important work to get through to-night,
and shall not be back early. I have the latch-key, so no one
need sit up. I shall dine at the club with Rivers. Go to bed
early if you are tired.
"Your Affectionate Husband."
This letter was handed to Hilda on her arrival. She was too excited and
too interested in getting Judy into the house, and showing her all the
pleasant arrangements made for her comfort, to read it at first; but
when her tired little sister was safe in bed, and Hilda had seen her
enjoying a cup of tea, with some toast and a new-laid country egg, then
she took Jasper's note out of her pocket.
She was in her own room, and she hesitated for a moment before she
opened it. She had a kind of premonition that there was pain in it. Her
home-coming had made her happy, and even while she was opening the
envelope of Jasper's letter she was listening for the click of his
latch-key in the hall-door lock.
He was always home in good time on Saturdays, and surely he would make
extra haste to-night in order to give his wife and his little sister a
hearty welcome.
Hilda's was the most forgiving nature in the world. During that scene
in the conservatory at Little Staunton she had lost her temper with her
husband, but she felt quite sure now that her hasty words must be
forgotten. As she forgave absolutely, so would he. Why had he written to
her therefore? Why was he not here? She pulled the note out of its
envelope, and read the few words that it contained.
It is not too much to say that her heart sank down, down, very low
indeed in her breast. She became conscious for the first time in her
life of that heart-hunger, that absolute starved sort of ache which had
so nearly wrecked Judy's little life. This was the first pang of pain,
but the ache was to go on and become worse presently.
Hilda was a very patient sort of woman, however, and it did not occur to
her to cry out or make a fuss. She read the note twice, then put it into
her pocket and went downstairs.
"Tell cook that I don't want any dinner," she said to Susan; "I will
have my tea upstairs with Miss Judy. Tell her not to get dinner, as Mr.
Quentyns is obliged to be out this evening."
"Hilda," called Judy's weak little voice from out of her luxurious white
bed; "Hilda, do come here a minute."
Hilda went immediately into the room.
"I am so happy and so sleepy," said Judy. "I'm like a bird in a
nest--oh, I am so snug. Jasper will be coming in presently, won't he,
Hilda? and you'll want to be with him. I shan't need you at all
to-night, Hilda darling; I'm going to sleep very soon, and I just sent
for you now to say that you mustn't come up to me after dinner--you must
stay with Jasper and let him amuse you. I am sure you want lots of
amusement after all the dull nursing you have had. Go and put on your
pretty dinner dress now, Hilda, and then come and look at me and say
good-night. I am so awfully happy, and I just want one kiss from you
before I go to sleep."
"But you don't want to go to sleep yet, little puss," said Hilda, in her
most cheerful tone; "at least I hope you don't until I have had my tea.
I want to have my tea with you, darling, so I hope you don't mind
putting up with my company for a little longer."
"As if I could mind--you know better. But, Hilda, if you have tea now
you won't be hungry for your dinner."
Judy puckered her dark brows with anxiety.
"I'm not going to have dinner."
"You aren't--not really! then what will Jasper say?"
"I've had a little letter from Jasper, darling; he is obliged to be out
late on business, and won't dine at home to-night. Ah, here comes Susan
with another new-laid egg for me, and some fresh toast. Now I am going
to have a delightful little supper in your company, Judy, and then I
shall settle you for the night."
Hilda talked faster than was her wont; there was an additional
rose-color in her pretty cheeks, and a brighter light than usual in her
soft brown eyes. She laughed and jested and made merry over her egg and
toast.
"How pretty you look!" said Judy, with a heart-whole sigh of admiration
and content.
She saw nothing wrong, and Hilda kissed her and left the room a few
minutes later.
She was still wearing her heavy traveling-dress, but after a moment's
reflection she went into her bedroom, and quickly changed it for a pale
silk dress of the softest shade of rose. This dress was a special
favorite of her husband's; he used to liken her to a rosebud in it, and
said that no color more truly matched the soft tender bloom of her young
face.
Hilda put on the rose silk now, arranged her dark hair picturesquely,
and going downstairs to the little drawing room, occupied herself for an
hour or more in giving it some of those delicate touches which make the
difference between the mistress of the house being at home and away.
It was a very warm evening for the time of year, but Hilda had a fire
lit in the grate. The shaded lamp shed a softened golden glow in its
accustomed corner of the room, and Jasper's favorite chair was placed
ready for his reception; then Hilda sank down into her own easy-chair,
and taking up a book, tried to read.
Susan came presently into the room.
"Oh, Susan," said her mistress, "I was about to ring for you. It has
struck ten o'clock; you and cook are to go to bed, please; I will wait
up for Mr. Quentyns."
"If you please, ma'am," said Susan.
She stopped and hesitated.
"Yes, Susan?" answered Mrs. Quentyns, in a gentle interrogative tone.
"If you please, ma'am, master has been very late coming home when you
was in the country--not till past midnight most nights."
"Thank you, Susan; but Mr. Quentyns will probably be in earlier
to-night, and I wish to remain up. Go to bed, and tell cook to do the
same. Oh, and please, I should like Miss Judy to have a cup of tea
brought to her room at eight to-morrow morning. Good-night, Susan."
The parlor-maid withdrew.
"And don't she look beautiful as a pictur," she muttered under her
breath. "Pore young lady, I doubt if she's pleased with master though.
Him staying away and all on the first night as she comes back. I
wouldn't set up for him ef I were her--no, that I wouldn't; I wouldn't
make so little of myself; but she's proud, too, is Mrs. Quentyns, and
she don't let on; no, not a bit. Well, I respect her for that, but I
misdoubt me if all is right atween that pair."
Susan went upstairs to confide her suspicions to cook. They talked in
low whispers together, and wondered what the mystery could be which was
keeping Quentyns from his pretty wife's side.
In the meantime, in the silent house the moments for the one anxious
watcher went slowly by. Her novel was not interesting--she let it fall
on her knees, and looking at the little clock on the mantelpiece,
counted the moments until eleven should strike. She quite expected that
Jasper would be home at eleven. It did not enter for a moment into her
calculations that he could be absent on this first night of her return
beyond that hour. When the eleven musical strokes sounded on the little
clock, and were echoed in many deeper booms from without, she got up,
and opening the drawing-room door, stepped out into the little hall.
Footsteps kept passing and passing in the street. Cabs kept rolling up
to other doors and rolling away again. Jasper must surely arrive at any
moment.
Hilda softly opened the hall door, and standing on the steps, looked up
and down the gas-lit street. If Jasper were walking home he would see
her. The lamp light from within threw her slim figure into strong
relief. A man passing by stopped for an instant to look at her.
Hilda shut the hall door hastily in fear and distress. The man had
looked as if he might say something rude. She returned to her little
drawing room, and sitting down by the dying fire stared fixedly into its
embers until her eyes were full of tears.
Between twelve and one Quentyns let himself softly into the house with
his latch-key. He was immediately attracted by the light in the drawing
room, the door of which was slightly ajar. He came into the room at
once, to find Hilda lying back in her easy-chair, fast asleep. She was
looking pale--all her pretty roses had fled. Quentyns' first impulse was
to fold her in his arms in an embrace of absolute love and
reconciliation.
What a pity it is that we don't oftener yield to our first impulses,
for they are as a rule whispered to us by our good angels.
Quentyns bent forward, and lightly, very lightly, touched the sleeper's
soft hair with his big hand. That touch was a caress, but it startled
Hilda, who woke up with a cry.
"Oh, Jasper," she said, looking at him with alarm in her eyes, "you--you
are home! I didn't mean to go to sleep, and--what is it, Jasper?"
"Kiss me, Hilda; I am glad you have returned," said Quentyns. "But
another night, if I should happen to be late, you must not sit up for
me--I hate being waited for."
CHAPTER XIV.
THE LITTLE RIFT.
No backward path; ah! no returning;
No second crossing that ripple's flow:
Come to me now for the mist is burning:
Come ere it darkens; Ah, no; ah, no!
--JEAN INGELOW.
Jasper Quentyns was quite certain that he was behaving admirably under
circumstances of a specially trying nature.
Judy's advent in the house gave him no small annoyance. Hilda's behavior
about Judy, her fit of sudden passion, above all the relinquishing of
her engagement ring, had cut him to the quick. He was proud, sensitive,
and jealous; when, therefore, he could smile at Judy and chat in light
and pleasant tones to his wife, when he could remark on the furniture in
the spare room, and make many suggestions for the comfort of the little
sister-in-law whom he detested, he was under the impression that his
conduct was not only exemplary but Christian.
It was true that he went out a good deal in the evenings, not taking
Hilda with him as had been his original intention, but leaving her at
home to enjoy the society of the child who had brought the first cloud
into his home.
"I am going to dine out to-night, Hilda," he would say. "A man I know
particularly well has asked me. Afterward he and I may go to the theater
together. You won't mind of course being left, as you have Judy with
you?"
"Oh, no, dear!" she replied, on the first of these occasions; and when
Jasper came to say something of this sort two or three times a week,
Hilda's invariable gentle answer was always that she did not mind.
Jasper was kind--kindness itself, and if she did feel just a trifle
afraid of him, and if she could not help knowing all over her heart that
the sun did not shine now for her, that there was a cloud between her
husband and herself, which she could neither brush away nor penetrate,
she made no outward sign of being anything different from the cheery and
affectionate Hilda of old. There were subjects now, however, which she
shrank from touching on in Jasper's presence. One of them was her
engagement ring, another the furniture in Judy's room. That ring she had
been told by more than one connoisseur was worth at least fifty pounds,
and Hilda was certain that the simple furniture which made Judy's
little room so bower-like and youthful could not have cost anything
approaching that sum. Still Jasper said nothing about giving her change
out of the money which he had spent, and Hilda feared to broach the
subject of the ring to him. Another topic which by a sort of instinct
she refrained from was Judy herself. When Jasper was in the house Hilda
was always glad when Judy retired to her own room. When the gay little
voice, happy now, and clear and sweet as a lark's, was heard singing
snatches of gay songs all over the house, if Jasper were there, Hilda
would carefully close the door of the room he was sitting in.
"Not now, Judy darling," she would say, when the child bounded eagerly
into their presence. "Jasper is just going out--when he is out I will
attend to you. Go on with your drawing in the dining room until I come
to you, Judy."
Judy would go away at once obedient and happy, but Hilda's face would
flush with anxiety, and her eyes would not meet her husband's. So
between each of these young people there was that wall of reserve which
is the sad beginning of love's departure; but Hilda, being the weaker of
the two and having less to occupy her thoughts, suffered more than
Jasper.
On a certain evening when Judy had been a happy resident of No. 10
Philippa Terrace for over a month, Quentyns was about to leave his
office and to return home, when his friend Tom Rivers entered his room.
"Have you any engagement for to-night, Quentyns?" he asked abruptly.
"None," said Jasper, visible relief on his face, for he was beginning to
dislike the evenings which he spent with a wife who always had a sense
of constraint over her, and with the knowledge that Judy's presence was
only tolerated when he was by. "I am at your service, Tom," said Jasper.
"Do you want me to go anywhere with you?"
Rivers was a great deal older than Quentyns, he was a very clever and
practical man of the world. He looked now full at Jasper. He had not
failed to observe the eager relief on his friend's face when he asked if
he had any engagement. To a certain extent Jasper had made Rivers his
confidant. He had told him that Hilda's little sister, who had been so
ill and had given them all such a fright, was staying now at Philippa
Terrace.
Rivers shrewdly guessed that Hilda's little sister was scarcely a
welcome guest, as far as Quentyns was concerned. Rivers had taken a
fancy to pretty Mrs. Quentyns. With a quick mental survey he saw again
the picture of the young wife on the night when he had dined at Philippa
Terrace.
"She did not look perfectly happy," he thought. "I hope Quentyns is good
to her. I seldom saw a more charming face than hers, but with such eyes,
so full of expression, so full of that sort of dumb, dog-like
affectionateness, she must, she will suffer horribly if there comes a
cloud between her husband and herself. Quentyns is the best of fellows,
but he can be dogged and obstinate--I hope to goodness there's nothing
up in that pretty little home of theirs."
Aloud Rivers said abruptly, "I had thought of asking you to dine at the
club with me, and then we might have gone to see Irving in _Henry
VIII._,--a friend has given me two stalls,--but on second thoughts I can
dispose of those tickets. What I should really like best is to come home
with you, Quentyns, and have the pleasure of another chat with your
wife. I want to hear you both sing too--I seldom heard two voices better
suited to go together. May I invite myself to dinner to-night, Jasper?"
"Oh, certainly," said Jasper, after a moment's awkward hesitation. "I'll
just wire to Hilda, if you don't mind."
"Not at all," said Rivers; "but remember, I am coming to take
pot-luck."
Jasper ran off to the nearest telegraph office.
Rivers saw that his proposal was anything but welcome, but for that very
reason he was determined to carry it out.
An hour later he found himself standing in the pretty drawing room in
Philippa Terrace, talking to the most charming little girl he had ever
had the pleasure of meeting.
Quentyns had run up at once to his room, and Hilda had not yet put in an
appearance, but Judy, who was sitting on a sofa reading "Sylvie and
Bruno," jumped up at once and came forward in her shy but self-possessed
little way to meet her sister's guest.
"How do you do?" she said. "Where would you like to sit?"
"I prefer standing, thank you," said Rivers. He smiled at Judy and held
out his hand. "So you are the young mutineer," he said suddenly.
Judy's big eyes looked up at him in surprise--she was dressed in a green
silk frock, with a broad golden-brown sash round her waist. Her dress
was cut rather low in the neck, and she had several rows of golden-brown
beads round her throat. The quaint dress suited the quaint but earnest
little face.
"What do you mean by calling me such a queer name?" said Judy.
"I am a great friend of your brother-in-law's," said Rivers, now
dropping into a chair and drawing the child toward him, "and he has told
me all about you--you mutinied when Mrs. Quentyns went away--it was very
wrong of you, very wrong indeed."
"You can't judge anything about it," said Judy, the sensitive color
coming into her face; "you are on Jasper's side, so you can't know."
"Of course I'm on Jasper's side, he's an excellent fellow, and a great
friend of mine."
"I don't like him," said Judy; "it isn't to be expected I should."
"Of course not, you wouldn't be a mutineer if you did."
"I wish you wouldn't call me by that horrid name," said Judy. "I can't
quite understand what it means, but I'm sure it's disagreeable."
"A mutineer is always a disagreeable person," continued Rivers, looking
with his pleasant eyes full at the child. "He is in a state of
rebellion, you know. People aren't nice when they rebel against the
inevitable."
"What's the inevitable?" asked Judy.
"The inevitable!" repeated Rivers. "The inevitable," he continued
gravely, "is what has to be met because it cannot be avoided. The
inevitable stands directly in a person's path; he can't go round it, he
can't jump over it, he has just to meet it bravely and make the best
friend he possibly can of it."
"Oh," said Judy, "that sounds like a fairy tale. Babs and I love fairy
tales, particularly the old, old ones--the Jack the Giant Killer
sort--you understand?"
"Jack the Giant Killer had lots of inevitables to meet," pursued Rivers.
"Yes, of course," said Judy; "now I know what you mean as far as dear
Jack was concerned, but I don't know what you mean about me."
"Well, you see, Miss Judy--you don't mind my calling Jasper's little
sister Miss Judy?"
"Oh, don't talk of him," said Judy, a frown between her brows.
"But I must if I'm to explain my meaning to you, for he's the
inevitable."
"Now what _do_ you mean?--you're the most puzzling sort of grown-up
person I ever met!"
"And you're the most intelligent sort of little person I ever met. Now
let me explain matters to you. Your sister is very pretty, isn't she?"
"Pretty?" said Judy meditatively--"pretty is such a common sort of
word--if you call flowers pretty, Hilda is, I suppose, but she's much,
much more than pretty."
"I understand. I'm quite sure I understand you perfectly. And your
sister is good too, and sweet?"
"Oh, yes!" Judy's eyes filled with tears, she blinked her eyelashes and
looked out of the window.
"Well, now," said Rivers, and his voice was quite tender, for Judy's
manner and attitude touched him wonderfully. "Well, now, you see it was
inevitable that some man should love a woman like your sister, and want
to make her his wife, and wish to take her altogether to himself. It was
inevitable, also, that a woman with a gentle heart like Mrs. Quentyns
should love this man in return and want to devote her life to him."
"Don't!" said Judy, suddenly; "I understand you now, I don't want you to
say another word." She crossed over to the window and stood there with
her back to Rivers, looking gravely out.
Hilda came down in her rose-colored silk, and Rivers did not wonder that
Judy thought of the flowers when she looked at her.
Hilda was unfeignedly glad to see him, and they had a pleasanter evening
than any since Judy's advent in Philippa Terrace. Rivers paid a great
deal of attention to the smallest and youngest member of the party, and
not only completely won Hilda's heart by so doing, but induced Quentyns
to look at his little sister-in-law with new eyes, and to discover for
the first time, that under certain conditions that wistful little face
could be both lovely and charming.
"Remember about the inevitable," said Rivers, as he bade the child
good-night.
"What did Mr. Rivers mean, Judy?" said Hilda. "Oh, Judy, what flushed
cheeks!--I did wrong to let you sit up, but you seemed so happy--you
seemed to take such a fancy to Mr. Rivers."
"He was disagreeable to me--very disagreeable," said Judy, "but I liked
him."
"And what did he mean by reminding you of the inevitable?" continued
Hilda.
"It was in that way he was disagreeable," replied Judy. "I can't
explain, Hilda darling; good-night--I am going to bed now."
That evening, in their own room, Hilda came suddenly to her husband's
side.
"Jasper, don't you think you might forget about it now?" she said
timidly.
"Forget about what, Hilda?" He had been genial and pleasant until she
began to speak; now his face stiffened in every outline, and the look
came over it which always took poor Hilda's courage away.
"We were so happy to-night," she began in a faltering voice--"we had
quite the best evening we have had since----" here she hesitated.
"Since Judy came," pursued Jasper. "Yes, that goes without saying, there
were four of us--even the dearest friends are dull when there are three,
and of course Rivers is capital company, he's quite the best fellow all
round I ever met."
"Oh, yes!" said Hilda, a little impatiently, "but I don't want to talk
of him. Jasper dear, let us forget, let us--oh, let us be as we were
before."
Tears choked her voice, she turned her head away.
"I am so tired," she said suddenly; "I am the sort of girl who wants
sunshine, I am so tired of being without it."
"When you talk in that metaphorical style I fail to understand you,"
said Quentyns. "There's not the least cloud between us that I am aware
of, and if you are not in the sunshine, Hilda, I am afraid it is your
own fault. I have done everything in my power to meet your wishes. You
profess great love for me, and great love for your sister, and now you
have us both, what can you possibly want besides?"
"Only your forgiveness, your complete and full forgiveness."
"I have nothing to forgive, my dear. You do your best--no one can do
better than their best."
"No," said poor Hilda, with a sigh. She did not add any more.
"I trust you are not going to turn into a fanciful sort of woman," said
Quentyns, half an hour later. "If there's a person in the world who
irritates me it's a woman with whims, a woman who has a grievance."
"Oh, no, Jasper! I won't have a grievance," she replied humbly.
CHAPTER XV.
THREE IS TRUMPERY.
The crown must be won for Heaven, dear,
In the battle-field of life:
My child, though thy foes are strong and tried,
He loveth the weak and small;
The Angels of Heaven are on thy side,
And God is over all!
--ADELAIDE PROCTOR.
Judy's life was sunshine, and therefore Judy got quickly well; she was
like the birds and the flowers--give her sunshine enough, and she would
sing like the birds and bloom like the flowers. Hilda was her sun, and
now she was always basking herself in the beloved presence. Her cup of
happiness was full, and such contentment reigned in her little heart
that no moment was dull to her, and time never hung heavy on her hands.
Hilda was just as sweet and loving as of old, and really, now that she
lived in the house with him, Jasper, her _bête noire_, the awful big
brother-in-law who had come and stolen her treasure away, seemed to make
but little difference in her life; it was almost nicer being with Hilda
in London than being with Hilda at the old Rectory--she seemed to get
more undivided attention from her sister than when that sister was the
Rector's right hand in his busy life, and when Judy had to learn lessons
with Babs, and walk with stupid, non-comprehending Miss Mills.
Now Judy learned rapidly, for Hilda was her teacher; and how delightful
that lunch was which was also Judy's early dinner, when she and her
sister sat _tête-à-tête_, and talked always, always of old times.
If visitors dropped in at tea-time Judy could afford, in her generous
happiness, to give them a little of her fascinating Hilda's attention,
for so often now there were heavenly evenings to follow, when that _bête
noire_ the brother-in-law was not coming home, and the two sisters could
be alone.
Judy loved the cozy sort of tea-dinners which began those evenings, and
then the long talk afterward in the lengthening twilight, when she sat
on a stool at Hilda's feet, with her head pressed up against Hilda's
arm, and her happy heart beating close to the other heart, which was all
her world.
On those evenings too Hilda came upstairs and tucked her up in her white
bed, and said, _Now I lay me down to sleep_ to her, just as she used in
the old nursery at home, after mother died.
It was an understood thing, although no words had passed between the
two--it was an understood thing, that on the evenings when Jasper was at
home, Hilda should not come upstairs to Judy. This seemed a perfectly
fair and just arrangement, they were both in full accord on the subject;
but Judy could not help loving those days when she might have her sister
all to herself the best.
On the morning after Rivers had dined in Philippa Terrace, as Jasper was
preparing to go out as usual, Hilda ran into the little hall to give him
a last word; she left the door of the dining room ajar, which was not
her invariable custom, and Judy, sitting at the breakfast table, found
herself in the position of an eavesdropper.
"You are coming back to dinner to-night?" asked the wife.
Jasper had been visited with some slight qualms of compunction that
morning, as he noticed how much paler Hilda's face was than when first
he had married her, so he put his arm round her neck now, and looking at
her with something of his old tenderness, said gently:
"Do you really wish it?"
"Jasper, how can you doubt?" she replied. "All the moments you are away
from me are long and wearisome."
"Long and wearisome," repeated Judy softly to herself in the breakfast
parlor. Some of the color fled out of her face now; she lost her
appetite for the bread-and-butter and marmalade which she was eating.
"You don't find three trumpery," pursued Jasper. Then he added with a
little sigh, "I wish I didn't; but I'll come home, Hilda, if you wish
it. Good-by, my dear. Stay, stop a moment; suppose I take you to the
play to-night. Judy won't mind going to bed a little earlier than
usual."
Just at that moment Hilda started and looked round; she heard a slight
noise, and wondered if Susan were coming upstairs. The sound which
disturbed her was made by Judy, who, awaking suddenly to the knowledge
that she was an eavesdropper, had risen from the breakfast table and had
gently closed the dining-room door.
"Of course Judy doesn't mind being left," said Hilda in a joyful tone.
"I should love to go out somewhere with you, Jasper. I really do want a
little bit of change."
"Very well, my love; I'll take tickets for something amusing, and be
home to dinner at six."
Quentyns went out, and Hilda danced back to the dining room. Her husband
had been kind, with something of the old tender kindness, and her heart
leaped up like a flower answering to the sun.
Judy was standing by the window looking out.
"Isn't it a lovely day, pet?" said Hilda, coming up to her. "Suppose we
give ourselves a holiday, and go to the Academy together. I have not
been there yet this year, and you have never been in all your life,
puss. You know how you love pictures; fancy room after room full of
pictures--all sorts, good, bad, and indifferent; all colors in them; all
sorts of subjects depicted on the canvases. There's a treat for my
little artist--shall I give it her?"
"Yes, Hilda, I'd like to go with you very much."
"Are you tired, dear, your face is so grave?"
"No, darling, I'm not at all tired."
"Well, we'll give ourselves a holiday. Run up and put on your pretty
green cloak, and that big black hat with the green velvet. I want you to
look as picturesque as possible. I want to be proud of you."
Judy suddenly flew to Hilda, clasped her arms round her neck, gave her
a passionate hug, and then rushed out of the room.
"What's the matter with the child?" thought the elder sister for a brief
moment, "she was so bright yesterday, and even this morning, but now
she's dull, although she tries to hide it. I wonder if I ought to give
her some more of her tonic. Well, well, whether Judy is grave or gay, I
cannot help feeling very happy at the thought of going out with Jasper
once more."
Hilda gave all directions with regard to the nice little dinner which
was to precede the play. She found a story book which Judy had not yet
read, and left it in the drawing room ready for her entertainment when
she was away; then, dressed also in her best, she went out with her
little sister, and, calling a hansom from the nearest stand, drove to
Burlington House.
As usual the great exhibition was crowded with all sorts and conditions
of men--the fashionable, the studious, the artistic, the ignorant, were
all to be found there. Judy had a passion for art. She was an artist by
nature, down to the tips of her sensitive little fingers. No sooner did
she find herself in the midst of all the pictures, than whatever cloud
made her a little graver than usual took to itself wings and flew away.
Her pertinent remarks, her eager criticism, shrewd, observant, often
strangely to the point, aroused the attention of some of the bystanders;
they smiled as the pretty child and the beautiful girl walked slowly by
together. Judy's intelligent face was commented on; the pathetic, eager,
wistful eyes seemed to make their way to more than one heart. Hilda,
thinking of her evening with Jasper, was quite her old self, and people
thought what a happy pair the two were.
In the third room they suddenly came face to face with Rivers.
"What a bit of luck!" he said, going up at once to them. "Now, Mrs.
Quentyns, I shall insist upon taking you to lunch somewhere. Miss Judy,
how are you? what do you think of our national picture fair?"
"Some of the pictures are lovely," she replied.
"Some!" he retorted, raising his brows. "You don't mean to say you are
setting yourself up as a critic."
"Judy is an artist by nature," said Hilda for her. "Hark to her remarks
with regard to the two dogs in that picture."
"They are meant to move, but they are perfectly still," said Judy; "if I
drew them, I'd"--she puckered her brows--"oh, I'd see that they were
gamboling about."
A young man, who was standing not far off, turned away with a red
face--he happened to be the unfortunate artist. Bitter hatred of Judy
filled his heart, for some of the people who were standing near tittered
aloud, and remarked for the first time that the dogs were wooden.
Rivers walked with Mrs. Quentyns and Judy through the different rooms:
he was an art connoisseur himself, and even dabbled in paint in a
dilettante sort of fashion. He drew Judy on to make remarks, laughed and
quizzed her for some ideas which he considered in advance of the times,
for others which were altogether too antiquated for him to pass
unchallenged.
"Oh, how Stanmore would like to hear you," he remarked, naming one of
the pet artists of the New Art school. "Why, Judy, you are a democrat;
we should have no Academy if we listened to you, you little rebel; but
then, I forgot, of course you are a mutineer--you are true to your
character through everything."
Hilda scarcely listened as the young man and the child chatted and
laughed together, her heart was dwelling altogether in the future. She
fancied herself even now driving to the play by her husband's side; she
saw the pretty dress she meant to wear; in her mind was reflected as in
a picture the image of her fair self, and the image also of the man who
was still in her heart lover as well as husband. No matter for the
present cloud, he was still her lover. She wondered if he would give her
another tender glance, and if, as they sat side by side when the curtain
was up and the actors were moving about on the stage, he would touch her
hand with his, and show her in that way that she was forgiven.
"If he would only understand that I must keep both my vows," she
murmured, "if I could only get him to really comprehend that much, much
as I love my Judy, I would rather be alone with him--that is, I would
rather be alone with him, if it makes him unhappy to have my sweet
little Judy in the house. But how happy she is since I brought her home;
how gay her voice sounds now."
"I said you were a mutineer," laughed Rivers. "I know by your manner
that you will never put up with the inevitable."
"Don't!" said Judy; Hilda was looking at a lovely landscape, a friend
she knew came up and spoke to her. "Don't!" said Judy, turning and
looking full at the young man; her eyes were grave, her childish face
grew suddenly white and drawn. "Perhaps I am going to give up being a
mutineer," she murmured.
CHAPTER XVI.
A LITTLE GIRL AND A LITTLE CROSS.
Love that hath us in the net,
Can he pass, and we forget?
Many suns arise and set,
Many a chance the years beget.
Love the gift is love the debt.
Even so.
Love is hurt with jar and fret.
Love is made a vague regret.
Eyes with idle tears are wet.
Idle habit links us yet,
What is love? for we forget:
Ah, no! no!
--TENNYSON.
Mrs. Quentyns and Judy enjoyed their lunch with Rivers. They went into
the Park afterward for a short time, and then Hilda, remembering that
the hours were flying, and that she must be dressed and ready to receive
her husband before six that evening, bade the young man a hasty good-by,
and drove home with Judy.
"I am so glad you are going to the play," said the little girl. "Why
don't you often go--why don't you constantly go out in the evening?"
"If I did, Judy, what a dull time you'd have."
"You're quite mistaken, Hilda; I shouldn't be dull at all. You don't
know how I like story-books, and Susan is such a nice girl. She has got
brothers and sisters at home, and she tells me about them when you are
out. I am never lonely; I couldn't possibly be sad in the same house
with you. If I saw you once or twice a day it would be enough for me--it
would really."
"My dear little pet," laughed Hilda, "how solemnly you are talking, what
a frightfully earnest tone has got into your voice, and how you are
puckering your poor little forehead. I have only one thing to say in
reply to your generous wish to leave me so much by myself, namely, that
I should find it extremely inconvenient and extremely lonely to have you
in the house and only see you twice a day."
"But suppose I weren't with you at all, Hilda--suppose I were still at
the Rectory."
"That would be different," said Hilda, in a light tone; "you would be in
your natural home, and I----"
"But you _would_ be lonely if I were away from you, Hilda; do say you'd
be fearfully lonely!"
The passion in Judy's voice was unnoticed by Hilda.
"I'd miss you, of course, my pet," she said; "but I do declare that
stupid driver is taking us wrong. Oh, if he goes up that way it will be
such a round that I shall be late for Jasper's dinner. Poke your parasol
through the little window in the roof, Judy, and stop him, do."
Judy obeyed, the driver received his directions in due course, and a
moment or two later Hilda and Judy were standing in the little hall at
Philippa Terrace. Quentyns came suddenly forward.
"Why, Jasper, you have come back already," said the wife. "It isn't five
yet, but I--I can dress in no time. Have you got the tickets?--where are
we going?"
"Come into the drawing room, Hilda, I want to say a word to you," said
Quentyns.
"Run upstairs and take your things off, Judy," said Hilda. She followed
her husband into the little drawing room and shut the door. "Well?" she
said. Her voice was still gay, but a little, just a little, of the old
fear was creeping back into her heart.
"I am ever so sorry, Hilda, to disappoint you," said Quentyns, "but when
I went to town this morning I absolutely forgot an engagement I made a
week ago. I have to go down with two or three men to Richmond. We are to
dine at the Star and Garter, and afterward Philip Danvers has asked me
to go home with him. The Danvers are charming people--have a beautiful
house on the river, and everything in the best possible style. I should
rather like to cultivate them. It is never a good plan to throw over
friends who may be influential; still, if you really wish it, Hilda,
I'll come home to-night and make some sort of excuse to Danvers--wire to
him that I am ill, or something of the kind. Of course it is too late
for me to get tickets for the play, but if you would like me to stay at
home, I'll--I'll do it--so there!"
Hilda's face, which had been white, was now flushed.
"Why didn't you tell me this morning?" she said. "Why did you forget? I
spent a day of hope, and now--now----" Her eyes filled with sudden
tears, she bit her lips and turned away.
Her action, which seemed almost pettish, annoyed Quentyns.
"You needn't cry," he said. "I never supposed you could be so childish.
Do you think I forgot on purpose? I was looking forward to my time at
Richmond, but it slipped my memory that this was the day. You needn't
cry, however, for if you have suddenly taken such a frantic desire for
my society, it is at your service. I shall go out and wire to Danvers,
and be back again in half an hour."
After all, Mrs. Quentyns had plenty of self-control. The annoyance and
distress in her voice had altogether left it when she spoke again.
"Of course you must go, Jasper," she said. "You don't suppose for a
quarter of an instant that I should stand in your way. Let me go up with
you and help you to put the things you want into a bag, and you will
want some tea before you start. I'll ring and tell Susan to prepare it.
Now come along, dear; I'm glad of course that you are having this
pleasure."
As Hilda ran upstairs her manner was once more quite cheerful. Quentyns,
however, whose conscience was smiting him, although he didn't know it,
could not help acting more or less like a bear with a sore head.
"I shouldn't have accepted the invitation," he said, "upon my word I
shouldn't, did I not know that you would have Judy to keep you company.
You know I haven't that passion for children you have, and----"
The door was closed behind the two.
"Don't say any more," said Hilda, in a frightened sort of voice. "I told
you I was glad that you were to have the pleasure. Now which bag will
you take? Will the small Gladstone be large enough?"
Ten minutes later Quentyns had left the house in a hansom, and Hilda
went up to Judy's room.
"Come downstairs, darling," she said, "we are to have another long
evening all to ourselves. What a good thing I've got my sweet little
sister to stay at home with me. Judy, this was to be a festive night,
and I had quite a festive dinner prepared. Suppose we keep the occasion,
although we are only to be by ourselves. You shall dine with me
to-night, Judy, and we'll both dress for dinner. You shall wear white,
for you look so sweet in white, and I'll do the same."
"Have you got the old India muslin dress that you used to wear at the
Rectory before--before there was a Jasper?" said Judy, in a queer,
steady kind of little voice. "If you have that old India muslin that
father loved and Aunt Marjorie loved, and that Babs and I used always to
say you looked like an angel in, will you put it on to-night,
Hilda?--will you wear that dress once again?"
"What a queer thing!" replied Hilda. "I never threw the old muslin away.
I think I can poke it out of some depths somewhere; and it is so soft
that, if I shake it out and hang it up for about half an hour, it will
be quite presentable. Yon funny Judy, why do you wish to see me in that
dress?"
"You were all mine when you wore that dress last," said Judy.
"I am always yours, my dearest. But don't let us talk sentiment; let us
make ourselves smart, and let us come downstairs and be happy. We'll
imagine that we are at a very gay party; heaps and heaps of other people
in the room, but we two, as is sometimes the case, are more or less
alone in the crowd. We are so completely one that other people scarcely
affect us. We can talk together, and whisper old secrets about the
garden, and Babs, and the animals, and the organ in the church, and the
funny chorister-boy who would never sing in tune; we can talk of all
these things, although there are throngs and throngs around us, for in a
crowd those who love each other often find the best sort of solitude.
Come down, Judy, come down, and let's be happy!"
"How flushed you are, Hilda; are you well?"
"Yes; I never felt better."
"You look awfully pretty; you look quite lovely."
"What a dear little flatterer you are! Does it really matter whether I
look pretty or not? Aunt Marjorie would scold you, child, for praising
my looks to my face; she would say you were encouraging vanity."
"And I should tell her to her face that I was not," answered Judy
stoutly. "It's right to look beautiful; it's copying the flowers. Now
run and put on your India muslin dress, Hilda."
Hilda left the room, and half an hour later the two sisters met in the
little drawing room. There were fresh flowers in the vases; and a great
bowl of primroses, which Aunt Marjorie had sent from the Rectory, was
placed on the little table in the square bay-window.
Judy in her white dress stood near the flowers. She took up one, and in
an absent sort of fashion pulled it to pieces. Susan announced dinner,
and the sisters dined together in great state, and with apparent
enjoyment. Hilda joked about everything, and Judy, catching up her
spirit, did likewise.
"Let us imagine, just for to-night, that I am grown-up," she said;
"treat me as if I were your grown sister--not your little
sister--Hilda."
Hilda felt in the humor to comply with any request Judy made.
"We will have our coffee in the drawing room," she said. "Black coffee
for me, please, Susan, but bring in a little jug of cream for Miss
Judy's. Now, dearest," turning to the child, "don't forget that the play
is going on; we have dined out with numbers, oh, numbers of guests, and
now we are in the large assembly-room, alone in the crowd, happy because
we are together."
Judy had thrown herself back into a deep arm-chair in the little drawing
room while Hilda was speaking; her eyes had a sort of starry radiance
about them, her cheeks were slightly flushed, her cloudy soft brown hair
was thrown back from her white brow.
Hilda moved about the room; she was restless notwithstanding the
enforced calm she was putting upon herself. Judy smiled when Hilda
spoke, but in her heart certain words kept repeating themselves--they
had repeated themselves like a sort of mournful echo in that poor little
heart all day.
"All the moments you are away from me are long and wearisome," Hilda had
said to her husband. "All the moments."
And then he had said to her:
"You don't find three trumpery. I wish I didn't!"
"So I'm the trumpery," thought Judy to herself. "I'm three. And all the
moments while Hilda is away from Jasper are long and wearisome. Poor
Hilda! poor darling! how well she hid it all from me; how good, how very
good she has been to me; but I'm glad I know. It was a lucky, a very
lucky thing that the door of the breakfast room was left slightly open
this morning, and so I was able to hear Jasper's words."
"How silent you are, dearest," said Hilda, looking at the child.
"I beg your pardon," said Judy, jumping up. "I was thinking."
"Think aloud then, sweet. Let me share your pretty thoughts."
"But they are not pretty, Hilda; and I think I'd rather no one shared
them. Now let us talk about old times--about the dear old times before
there was a Jasper."
"Judy," said Hilda, "there is just one thing I should like to say to
you. Even if it gives you pain, I ought to remind you, my darling, that
Jasper is my husband; that I love him. Oh! Judy, Judy, my heart aches
with love to him. My heart aches because I love my husband so much."
Judy clenched her hands; a great wave of crimson swept over her face.
Hilda had hidden her own face in her hands, and did not notice the
child's agitation. Presently the little sister's hand softly touched her
forehead.
"And you're lonely to-night, poor Hilda, because your Jasper is away?"
"Yes, Judy, it's true. I'm afraid even to tell you how lonely I am."
"And you've been trying to seem cheerful, just to please me."
"And to please myself too," said Hilda, starting up and wiping the tears
from her eyes. "There, we won't talk about it any more; we'll go on
pretending that we are having an awfully jolly time."
"You're very brave, Hilda," said Judy; "and when people are brave,
things generally come right. Now, may I sit on your knee, just as if I
were a baby instead of a tall girl with long legs? _I_ wouldn't make you
unhappy, Hilda darling. When there's an inevitable I must face it; I
must, and you will see that I will. Jack the Giant Killer shan't beat
_me_ over difficulties when I've made up my mind."
"Judy, your face is flushed, and your eyes are too bright; that strong
coffee was bad for you, you won't sleep to-night."
"I dare say I shan't sleep; but now let us talk of old times."
"Only for a few moments, dear; you look so excited that I shall not
rest until I see you safely in bed."
Judy laughed, and declared stoutly that she never felt better.
Half an hour afterward she went up to her pretty little bedroom, Hilda
promising to follow her in about a quarter of an hour, if she possibly
could.
When the elder sister entered the room, she found Judy standing by her
bed in her frilled night-dress.
"You will get cold, love--do get into bed," said Hilda.
"I want to say my prayers to you, Hilda, if you don't mind," said Judy,
"just as I used when I was a very little girl."
"Of course, darling, if you wish it."
Hilda sat down, and the little sister knelt at her knee.
The old baby prayers were said aloud; but suddenly, in the midst of
them, Judy bent her head and murmured something which Hilda could not
hear.
She jumped up a moment later and put her arms round her sister's neck.
"You won't be lonely long, Hilda," she said. "It will be all right;
you'll see it will be as right as possible. I am glad you are fond of
Jasper. I am really, really, awfully glad."
"Good-night, my darling," said Hilda, kissing her. She went out of the
room with tears in her eyes.
"Poor little Judy, how little she knows," thought the elder sister; "how
very little she knows what a cloud there is between Jasper and me. Oh,
if it goes on much longer, I think my heart will break!"
In the meantime, in her pretty white bed, Judy was murmuring an old text
to herself:
"He that taketh not up his cross and followeth after Me, cannot be My
disciple."
Once, long ago, the Rector had explained this text, or rather given a
shadow of its meaning to the child.
"Followeth after Me," she murmured; and a vision came to her of One who,
in the great cause of Love, had taken up His cross, even to death.
She wiped the tears from her eyes, and fell asleep.
CHAPTER XVII.
JUDY'S SECRET.
Be strong to _hope_, oh, Heart!
Though day is bright,
The stars can only shine
In the dark night.
Be strong, oh, Heart of mine,
Look towards the light!
--ADELAIDE PROCTOR.
The next morning Judy was down specially early to breakfast.
Her cheeks were slightly more flushed than usual, and her eyes, to
anyone who watched them closely, had a determined, almost hard,
expression in them. Hilda, however, was too much occupied with her own
sad thoughts to take any special notice of the child.
"You look well, Judy," she said, giving a quick glance at her. "Now come
to breakfast, dear, I've a good deal to do afterward."
"Are you going out, Hilda?" asked Judy.
"No, I'm going to be busy all the morning over my accounts; they've got
into the most disgraceful muddle, and I want to put them straight. I
shall be in the drawing room, for I keep all my household books in the
davenport there. I mean to give you a holiday, Judy, but perhaps you
won't mind reading some of your history to yourself, and doing a few
sums this morning."
"Of course not," said Judy brightly. "Shall I make you some toast,
Hilda? This in the toast-rack is so soft and flabby--do let me, Hilda."
"If you like, dear, you may. It is lucky there is a fire, but I must
tell cook to discontinue them, the weather is getting so warm."
Judy was an adept at making toast, and it was an old fashion at the
Rectory that Hilda's toast should be made by her, on those blissful
red-letter days when the elder sister had tea with the little ones in
the nursery.
Judy wondered as she delicately browned that toast, and scorched her own
little cheeks, if Hilda would remember the old days, and the toast which
she used to make her; but Mrs. Quentyns seemed to be in a sort of brown
study that morning, and thanked the child absently when the crisp hot
toast was put on her plate.
"Jasper will be home quite early to-day, won't he, Hilda?" inquired
Judy.
"I don't know, Judy--yes, I suppose so."
"I'm sure he'll be home early," repeated Judy with confidence; "perhaps
he'll take you to the play to-night, and perhaps you'll be awfully
happy."
"Oh, don't talk about it, Judy," said Hilda, in a weary voice; "we must
all make up our minds to face the fact that there's a great deal _more_
than mere happiness in the world. What is happiness? It's only a small
part of life."
"I don't think it is going to be a small part of your life, Hilda; but
now I'm not going to idle you any more, for you want to get to your
accounts."
Judy ran out of the room. As she was going slowly upstairs, she paused
once to say softly to herself:
"It's all happening beautifully; I ought to be glad. Of course I am
glad. '_He that taketh not up his cross._' I'm glad that text keeps
running in my head, it makes me so nice and strong."
Susan was doing out Judy's room when the little girl ran into it. Judy
was fond of Susan, and Susan of her, and the girl stopped her work now
to listen to the child's eager words.
"Susan, do you think Mrs. Quentyns would let you come out with me for a
little this morning, for about an hour or an hour and a half?"
"Well, miss," said Susan, "it aint Monday, which is the day to get ready
for the laundry, nor yet Wednesday, when I turns out the drawing room,
nor Friday, which is silver day--there's nothing special for Thursday; I
should think I could go with you, Miss Judy, and it will be a treat to
take you about. Is it Mme. Tussand's you has a hankerin' for, Miss?"
"No, no, Susan, I'm not going to any exhibition; it's a secret--I'll
tell you when we're out."
"The Doré Gallery, perhaps?" suggested Susan.
"No, it's nothing of that sort; I'll tell you when we're out."
"Very well, miss, I'm proud to be at your service whatever it is."
"I'll run down now and ask my sister if you may come with me, Susan."
Judy threw her arms round Hilda as she was coming up from the kitchen
premises.
"Hilda, the day is so fine!"
"No, Judy, you mustn't tempt me to go out. I really have to get those
accounts straight, they quite weigh on my mind."
"So you shall, Hilda darling; but I was wondering if after I've read my
history and done my sums, and a little bit of writing I want to get
through, if you'd let Susan--if you'd let Susan take me out."
"Susan!" repeated Hilda, "but I can go with you myself this afternoon."
"I know, only I do so want a run on this fine morning, and Susan says
it's not laundry day, nor drawing-room day, nor silver day; it's
Thursday, which is nothing special; she can come, may she, Hilda?--do
say yes."
"It's not like you, Judy," said Hilda, "to be in this impatient state. I
would rather you did not propose plans to the servants without first
consulting me, darling, it rather puts them out of their place; but as
you have done it, and as you are the best of dear little girls, I
suppose I must say 'yes' on this occasion. If Susan hurries with her
work, she may take you out: but of course you won't be very long, will
you?"
To this question Judy made no reply. She gave Hilda a tight clasp and a
fierce kiss, and rushed away.
"Susan, you're to hurry with your work, for you may come," she shouted,
almost boisterously, to the parlor-maid, and then she ran down to the
dining room and shut the door behind her.
"It's happening beautifully," she murmured again; "how lucky that I
never spent godmother's sovereign. And now to write my letter to Hilda.
I'm not going to waste my time crying, there'll be time enough for that
by and by--that's if I want to cry, perhaps I shan't. When I think of
how very happy Hilda will be, perhaps my heart will sing. But now for
the letter--Hilda mustn't find it too soon; I'll put it under her
pin-cushion, then perhaps she won't see it for some hours after I've
gone, but now I must write it."
Judy took out her own little blotting-book, placed a sheet of paper
before her, and began laboriously, with little fingers which rapidly got
ink-stained, to put a few words on the paper.
"DARLING HILDA,
"You'll be s'prised when you get this. I'm going home. I'm quite
well now, and I'm not going to fret, but I'm going to be
_really_ happy. Good-by, Hilda; I love you awfully.
"Your
"JUDY."
This little note was put into an envelope, and sealed with some precious
red wax, and before she left the house Judy found an opportunity to put
it under Hilda's pin-cushion.
"It doesn't tell her a bit what I think, nor what I feel," murmured the
poor child. "But it's best for her just to suppose that I _want_ to go
home. She'll be happy all the sooner if she thinks that."
Susan was rather elated at escaping housework, and at being allowed to
go out so early in the morning. She was especially fond of Judy, and
would do anything in the world for her. Now, therefore, principally on
Judy's account, but also in the hope that the baker might happen to see
her as she passed his shop, she put on her very smartest hat and her
very best jacket, and patiently waited in the front hall for Judy's
appearance.
Hilda came out of the drawing room to see the two as they went off.
"You had better take an omnibus, and get out at Kensington Gardens," she
said to the maid. "I shall expect you back in time to get lunch ready,
Susan. Judy pet, give me a kiss before you go."
Judy had lost her roses now, her face was pale, and there were dark
shadows under her big eyes. Her little voice, however, had a very stout,
determined tone about it.
"Good-by, Hilda," she said; "one kiss--two, three kisses, Hilda; it is
good of you to let us out,--and we are going to be so jolly. Good-by,
darling Hilda."
"Good-by, Judy," said Hilda.
She kissed the child, but in a pre-occupied manner--the cloud which
weighed on her heart was oppressing her, and dulling her usually keen
perceptions where Judy was concerned.
"It's all the better," thought the little girl, "it's easier to say
good-by when she's not extra loving."
Hilda went back to her accounts, and Judy and Susan walked down the
terrace, and turning the corner were lost to view.
They had gone on a little way, and Susan was about to hail a passing
omnibus, when Judy suddenly put her hand on the servant's arm.
"Susan," she said, "I am going to tell you the secret now. You'll be
_sure_ to keep it?"
"Well, of course, miss, I'll do my best--I hope I aint one of the
blabbing sort."
"I don't think you are, Susan--you look as if a person could trust you.
I'm going to trust you with a most important thing."
"Very well, miss--I'll be proud I'm sure; but hadn't we better stop that
'bus--there's the conductor looking at us."
"Does that 'bus go in the direction of Waterloo Station?" asked Judy.
"Waterloo--bless you, Miss Judy--I don't know whether it do or not. I
don't s'pose so for a quarter of a minute. Waterloo is miles from
here--that I do know. But it's nothing to us where Waterloo is, miss,
it's to Kensington Gardens we're going, and the 'bus has gone on now, so
there's no good our worrying ourselves about it. Another will pass us in
a minute. There are plenty half empty at this hour of the day."
"I wish you would stop talking, Susan, and let me explain what I mean,"
said Judy, almost fretfully. "It's to Waterloo I want to go, not to
Kensington Gardens. Do you hear me--do you understand what I'm saying?"
"I suppose you're joking me, Miss Judy. My missis said we were to go to
Kensington Gardens."
"Please, Susan, stop for a minute. I want to say something very
important. _I am going home._ That's the secret. I am going home to Aunt
Marjorie and to father, and my little sister Babs, and the way home is
by Waterloo, so I must get there. Now do you understand? That's the
secret--I am going home to-day."
Judy's face was so pale, and her words so intensely earnest, that Susan
saw at last that the secret was no joking matter, but something real and
hard to bear.
"Now I wonder what the little dear is up to," she said under her breath.
"You know, Miss Judy, pet," she replied aloud in as soothing a voice as
she could command, "that you don't really mean to run away like
that,--for it is running away to go back to your home, and never say a
word to Mrs. Quentyns, and she so wrapped up in you, and your room
furnished so prettily and all."
Judy had to gulp down a sob before she answered Susan.
"I didn't expect you to understand me," she said with a dignity which
made a deep impression on the maid. "I'm not running away, and I'm doing
right not wrong. You don't suppose it's always very pleasant to do
right, but sometimes one can't think about what's pleasant. I wouldn't
have asked you to help me at all, Susan, but I don't know how to get to
Waterloo Station. Of course I came from there with my sister, but I
didn't notice the road we took, nor anything about it. I know we were a
long time in a cab, so I suppose the station is a good way from Philippa
Terrace. What you have got to do now, Susan, is to obey me, and not to
ask any questions. I really know what I'm about, and I promise that you
shan't get into any trouble."
But to Judy's surprise Susan was firm.
"I won't have hand nor part in the matter," she said; "I was told to
take you to Kensington Gardens, miss, and it's there we've got to go,
or we'll turn round and go back to Philippa Terrace."
For a moment or two Judy felt afraid that all her plans were in
jeopardy. She might of course call a cab on her own account, and trust
the driver to take her safely to her destination; but brave as she was,
she had scarcely courage for this extreme step; besides, the driver of
the hansom might take it into his head to listen to Susan's strong
objections, and even if he did obey Judy, Susan would go back to
Philippa Terrace, and tell Hilda everything, and then Hilda would follow
Judy to Waterloo, and prevent her going home at all.
The strongest feeling in the child's mind was a desire to be safe back
in the Rectory before Hilda knew anything about her determination.
"Then she can't do anything," thought Judy. "She'll have nothing for it
but to make herself quite happy with Jasper again."
Suddenly an idea came to her.
"I won't argue with you any more, Susan," she said. "I suppose you
_think_ you are doing right, and if you do, of course I can't expect you
to act in any other way. If you knew everything that is in my heart, I
am quite sure you would help me; but as you don't, I must think of
something else. You know Mr. Rivers, don't you--the gentleman who dined
at Philippa Terrace two nights ago?"
"Yes, miss, of course."
"My sister and I took lunch with him yesterday," continued Judy. "He is
a very nice gentleman; he's a great friend of Mr. Quentyns."
"Oh, yes, miss, I'm aware," replied the maid.
"He lives in chambers," continued Judy. "I don't in the least know what
chambers means; but he asked me to go and see him some day and have
lunch with him. He wrote his address on a piece of paper and gave it to
me, and I have it in my purse. My sister said I might certainly lunch
with Mr. Rivers. Now, Susan, I intend to go to him to-day. So please
call a hansom, and I shall drive there at once. You can come or not as
you please. If you prefer it you can go home; but of course I'd rather
you came with me."
Susan deliberated. Certainly Miss Judy was in a very queer condition,
and it would be as much as her place was worth to take her to Waterloo;
but to drive with her to the chambers of that nice gentleman who was,
she knew, one of her master's greatest friends, seemed a shifting of
responsibility which was quite a way out of the dilemma, for not for
worlds would Susan do anything really to hurt the child's feelings.
"All right, miss," she said after a pause; "even that seems queer
enough, but Mr. Rivers can explain matters himself to my missis. Here's
a nice 'ansom with a steady horse. Stop, driver, please, stop! Draw up
here by the lamp-post. Now, miss, shall I get in first and give you a
hand?"
"No, Susan; I can get into a hansom without anyone helping me."
"Drive to No. 10 Johnson's Court, Lincoln's Inn Fields," said Judy, in a
clear voice to the man; and then she and Susan found themselves bowling
away farther and farther from West Kensington, from Judy's pretty
bedroom, from Hilda and her love.
In an incredibly short space of time they arrived at their destination;
the driver pulled up his horse at No. 10 Johnson's Court, with an
_esprit_ which Judy would have much admired had her thoughts been less
pre-occupied.
She jumped out with alacrity, declining Susan's assistance, and asked
the man what his fare was. He named a sum which Susan took into her head
to consider exorbitant, and which she loudly objected to Judy's paying;
but the little girl gave it without a moment's hesitation, and the next
instant was running up the stairs to Rivers' chambers.
What might have happened had that gentleman been out no one can say;
Judy's heroic impulse might after all have come to nothing, and Jasper
might still have had to complain of that three, which means trumpery,
invading his house; but it so happened that Rivers was in, and, busy man
that he was, comparatively disengaged. When Judy inquired for him he was
standing in his clerk's room, giving some directions. At the sound of
her voice he looked up, and with a start and smile of delight came
forward to welcome her.
"I am very glad to see you," he said; "how kind of you to remember your
promise."
Then, seeing by her face that Judy's poor little heart was very full, he
took her into his private room, and desired Susan to wait in the clerk's
room.
"Now, Jack the Giant Killer, what is it?" said Rivers; "what's the
matter?"
"I told you," said Judy; "I told you yesterday, that _perhaps_ I was
going to stop being a mutineer. Well, I have stopped. I thought you'd
like to know."
"So I do, Judy," said Rivers. "I am proud to be acquainted with a
little girl who has such immense control over herself. I should like to
hear how you have contrived to get out of the state of rebellion into
the state of submission. I know of course that you have been killing a
giant, but I am interested in the process."
"I'm killing the giant by going home," said Judy, standing very erect by
Rivers' table, and pushing back her shady hat from her white forehead.
"I am going home, back to Little Staunton Rectory. I see what you mean,
that it's better--better for Jasper and Hilda, to be without--without
_me_. I pretended not to understand you the other night, but I don't
pretend any longer now; and yesterday evening, when Hilda and I were all
alone, for Jasper had gone away down to Richmond, I--I made up my mind.
Hilda doesn't know anything about it."
"Sit down, Judy," said Rivers. "I cannot tell you how I respect you."
[Illustration: "I'D RATHER STAND, PLEASE." P. 222.]
"I'd rather stand, please," said Judy. "Hilda doesn't know," she
continued, "and she _mustn't_ know until I am safe back at Little
Staunton Rectory. Susan--you know Susan, she's Hilda's parlor-maid;
well, Susan came out with me this morning, and I coaxed her very hard to
take me to Waterloo, but she refused. I don't quite know how to get
there by myself, so now I want to know if you will take me?"
"Certainly I will," said Rivers. "What is more, I'll go with you to the
Rectory. I have nothing special to do to-day, and it will be quite a
pleasure to spend a little time in your company. Do you know anything
about the trains, and what is the name of the station we have to go to?"
Judy named the one nearest to the Rectory.
"You had better sit down for a moment," pursued Rivers. "I have an 'A B
C' here, so I can tell you in a moment which is the best train to take.
Now, what is the matter?"
"Only, Mr. Rivers, Hilda must not know anything--anything about it until
I am safe home. Can this be managed?"
"I have very little doubt that it can. I shall go out now and speak to
Susan and send her away. Thank you, Judy, for coming to me; I would do
anything for you, because you are brave, and I respect and admire all
brave people."
CHAPTER XVIII.
GIANT-KILLER.
And the Prince, seeing that it was of no use to remonstrate,
bowed and retired.
--THE GOLDEN BRANCH.
Susan came home and told her mistress that Judy was spending the day
with Mr. Rivers.
"What an extraordinary thing for the child to do!" said Hilda.
"She said, ma'am, that Mr. Rivers asked her to lunch, and that you knew
about it."
"Yes; but why did she not say something to me when she was going out? It
is so unlike Miss Judy to keep a thing of that sort to herself."
Susan made no reply. She was no longer responsible, and was only too
anxious not to betray the child.
"Mr. Rivers says he'll take the best care of her, ma'am," she said,
after a pause.
"Well, go and take off your hat, Susan, and lay the lunch," said Hilda,
feeling still more puzzled, but not caring to pursue her inquiries any
further.
She had a sense of aggrievement and a feeling of added loneliness as she
sat down to her solitary lunch. She missed Judy, and wondered at her
sudden want of confidence; but soon the deeper trouble which Jasper's
conduct had caused returned to trouble her, and she forgot her little
sister in the sadness of her thoughts.
She spent a long and very lonely afternoon indoors, for she had not the
heart to go out, and besides, she expected Judy home every minute.
She thought it likely that Rivers would take her somewhere after lunch,
but surely he would bring her back to Philippa Terrace in time for tea.
Hilda ordered some cakes which she knew were special favorites of Judy's
to be ready for this meal; and then she sat in her pretty little drawing
room, and tried to divert her thoughts over the pages of the latest
novel which had arrived from Mudie's.
It was either not specially interesting, or Hilda found it difficult to
concentrate her attention. She flung the book on her knee, and sat
absorbed in what Judy and Babs called a brown study. She was startled
out of her meditations by Susan bringing in the tea-tray and the little
kettle and spirit-lamp.
"Did Mr. Rivers say when he would bring Miss Judy home?" she asked of
the maid.
Susan colored and hesitated slightly in her reply.
"No, ma'am; he said nothing at all about coming home," she answered.
Hilda noticed her hesitation, but did not wish to question her further.
After the servant left the room, however, she began for the first time
to feel both impatient and uneasy with regard to her little sister.
"If Judy is not here by six o'clock," she said to herself, "I will go to
Lincoln's Inn Fields in search of her. How extraordinarily impatient she
was to go out this morning; and how very odd of her to insist on going
to Mr. Rivers', and to say nothing at all to me about it; and then how
queer--how more than queer--her not having yet returned. My sweet little
Judy, the most thoughtful child who ever breathed--it is unlike her to
cause me anxiety of this sort."
Hilda did not care for the social little meal which was generally so
lively when Judy was present. Immediately afterward she ran upstairs to
put on her bonnet and jacket; and as she was going out, left a message
with Susan.
"If Miss Judy and Mr. Rivers come," she said, "please say that I have
gone to Lincoln's Inn Fields, as I felt anxious about the child being
so long away."
"Yes, ma'am," said the servant.
"Whistle for a hansom for me, please, Susan."
Susan did so; and half an hour afterward Hilda was making inquiries at
Rivers' chambers with regard to his whereabouts. The clerks there could
give her no definite information. Mr. Rivers had gone out with a little
lady soon after twelve o'clock, and had told them not to expect him back
that day.
"I shall find Judy at Philippa Terrace when I go home," thought Mrs.
Quentyns. "It was thoughtless of her not to tell me how long she would
be out--it was wonderfully unlike her. Still, of course, she will be at
home now."
But when Hilda returned no Judy was there to greet her; but her
husband's face was seen looking somewhat impatiently out at the
drawing-room window. He came at once to help his wife out of the cab,
and entered the house with her.
"Where were you?" he asked. "It is nearly time for dinner."
"I won't be a moment getting dressed, Jasper; but--but--I am anxious
about Judy."
Quentyns had meant to be specially nice and kind to Hilda after his
evening's pleasure, but he felt it impossible now to keep the glib,
sarcastic words back.
"I might have known when I saw that fretful look on your face, that Judy
was the cause. Now, what is her latest transgression?"
"Oh, there is a telegraph-boy," said Hilda eagerly. "What--what--oh,
_is_ there anything wrong?"
She rushed to the hall-door herself, before Jasper could prevent her.
Susan, coming into the hall to answer the imperative double knock, was
sent back to the kitchen regions, in a cross voice, by her master.
"Really, Hilda," began Quentyns, "your impetuosity is most undignified.
I must say that these kinds of scenes are----Now, what is the matter,
my love--tears again. A coming home of this sort is not the most
cheerful sort of thing, you must allow."
"Oh, Jasper, Jasper, I'm not even listening to you," said poor Hilda.
"What can be the matter? what can be wrong? Here's a telegram from Mr.
Rivers. He says--see what he says.
"'Little Staunton Rectory. Have brought Judy home. Will call and see you
soon after ten this evening. Rivers.'"
"Rivers!" repeated Jasper.
His voice grew thoughtful; he did not like Rivers, of all men, to be
mixed up in his domestic affairs. Rivers, at least, must keep him on a
pedestal, and know nothing of his weaknesses--of that infirmity of
temper which he struggled against, and yet, in Judy's presence, could
not conquer. He forgot all about Judy herself in his wonder as to how
Rivers had got mixed up in the matter.
Hilda had seated herself on the sofa, and still holding the open
telegram in her hand, was trying furtively to wipe away her fast-falling
tears.
"I wish you'd stop crying, Hilda," said her husband. "There's nothing to
alarm you in this telegram--nothing whatever. If Judy is with a man like
Tom Rivers, she's as safe as child can be."
"But she has gone home, Jasper; she has gone home to the Rectory,
without even telling me."
"Well, my dear, it's impossible for me to explain away the vagaries of
that most eccentric child. I presume, however, that Rivers has a key to
the mystery, and as he says he will call here after ten o'clock, we
shall know all about it then. No amount of discussion can explain it in
advance. So, Hilda, perhaps you will go upstairs and get ready for
dinner. I'm frightfully hungry."
Hilda rose wearily and left the room at once.
"I think I can guess something--just something of what it means," she
said to herself. "My little Judy--my brave little Judy!"
Judy's letter was lying hidden all this time under the large pin-cushion
on Hilda's dressing table, but as it was not seen, its contents, which
would have explained a good deal, were of course not known.
The dinner which followed this unhappy beginning of the evening was as
dismal and constrained as if poor "trumpery" were still present.
Quentyns, like most men who work hard all day, was particular about this
meal, and to-night of all nights cook had not sent up the soup to his
satisfaction, nor the _entrée_ seasoned to his taste. It was all one to
Hilda just now what she ate, but Quentyns pushed his plate impatiently
away, and kept on referring to the excellent dinner he had had the night
before at the Star and Garter. He spoke of his evening as delightful,
and of the house of the new friend where he had slept as altogether
irreproachable.
Hilda felt that he was talking at her all the time, but she had not the
heart to reply to him. The dismal little meal came to a mournful end,
and the two went into the drawing room to wait for Rivers' arrival.
Hilda took up a handkerchief she was embroidering for Judy, and took
special pleasure in putting in new and exquisite stitches as her
thoughts centered themselves in dull wonder and pain round the child.
Quentyns became absorbed in the contents of a novel. He read for half an
hour--he was by no means in a good humor, and now and then his eyes were
raised to look over the top of the book at his wife. There was a patient
sort of suffering about her which irritated him a good bit, as he could
see no possible reason to account for it. He asked her one or two
questions, which she answered in an abstracted manner.
No, he certainly had not bargained for this sort of thing when he
married. Hilda was not only pretty, but she could be, when she liked,
sufficiently intellectual to satisfy his requirements. He was fastidious
and had peculiar views with regard to women. He hated the so-called
clever women, but at the same time he despised the stupid ones. To
please him a woman must have tact--she must quickly understand his many
moods. She must sympathize when he demanded sympathy, and when he showed
by his manner that he wished to be left alone, she must respect his
desires. Hitherto, Hilda had abundantly fulfilled his expectations. If
Judy had not been in the house, all that he had ever dreamed of in his
married life would have come to pass. But to-night, although Judy was
not there to intermeddle, Quentyns felt that, for all the good his wife
was doing him, he might as well be a bachelor at his club.
"My dear," he said with some impatience, and forgetting himself not a
little, "do you know that you have made precisely the same remark now
five times? I did not quarrel with its brilliancy the first time I heard
it, but on the fifth occasion I will own that it gave me a certain sense
of _ennui_. As I see that your thoughts are miles away, I'll just run
round to the club for a bit and find out if there is anything going on."
Hilda raised her eyes in some surprise. A certain expression in them
seemed to expostulate with Jasper, but her lips said nothing; and just
at that moment a hansom was heard to bowl up rapidly and stop with a
quick jerk at the door. A moment later Rivers entered the drawing room.
He came up at once to Hilda with the air of a man who has a message to
deliver.
"Judy hopes you got her note long ere this, Mrs. Quentyns."
"Her note--no; I have not received any," replied Hilda.
"She wrote to you this morning, and put the note under the pin-cushion
in your room."
"How romantic and Judy-like!" said Quentyns suddenly. "Quite the correct
thing, according to the old-fashioned novels. When the heroine elopes
she always leaves a note under the pin-cushion."
"How do you do, Jasper? I did not notice you until this moment," said
Rivers. He gave the other man a sharp glance, which suddenly made him
feel queer and small. "The only thing old-fashioned that I notice about
Judy," he said, "is her noble unselfishness. She has gone home
because--because--I think you can both guess why; an explanation would
only be disagreeable. She begged me to tell you, Mrs. Quentyns, that she
meant to be really _perfectly_ happy at home, and she hoped you and
Jasper would follow her example here. Poor little Giant Killer! she slew
an enormous giant to-day, and there are few people I respect as I do
that dear little soul. I saw her safely to the Rectory, as, when she
came to me, I thought it best to humor what was more a noble inspiration
than a child's whim. I will say good-night now."
Hilda scarcely said a word while Rivers was speaking. When he left the
room, however, she stood still for an instant, listening intently.
Jasper had gone out to see his friend into his hansom. Would he come
back? He did for a moment.
"Don't sit up for me, Hilda," he said; and there was a tone in his voice
which caused her heart to sink down low, very low indeed.
She heard the door slam behind him, and then she knew that she was
alone. The servants had gone to bed--to all intents and purposes she was
absolutely alone in the silent house.
So Judy's sacrifice was in vain. Judy had thought, by absolutely
sacrificing herself, that she could bring this husband and wife
together. It was not to be.
Hilda fell on her knees and buried her burning face in the sofa
cushions.
"Oh, Judy, little Judy!" she sobbed. "Oh, Judy, what shall I do? My pain
is greater than I can bear."
She knelt in this position for a long time. Her little sister's face was
distinctly seen in her mental vision; Judy seemed surrounded by a sort
of halo--but what of Jasper? Had all the love which united these two
hearts vanished like a dream? Was he never coming back to her? Would he
always misunderstand her? Oh, if she thought that, she would not stay
with him--she would go back to the Rectory and to Judy, and forget her
golden dream and turn back again to the old life. For three months she
would have been a wife. She would forget that time. She would own to
Jasper that she had made a mistake. She would be Hilda Merton once more.
Alas! alas! that could not be. Vows and ceremonies tied her. She had
stood beside the altar and given herself away. There was no going back
on that step. Jasper was not the Jasper of her dreams. He must have a
small mind not to understand Judy, and she had married him because she
thought his mind so big and his heart so great. After all, Judy was far
greater than Jasper.
"My little Judy," she murmured again, and then she sank down a pitiable,
weak, inconsolable figure on the hearth-rug close to the expiring fire.
She thought over the scenes of the last night and longed to have them
back again.
"If Judy's arms were round me, I should not feel so lonely," she
murmured. "Oh, Jasper, how can you turn from me? How can you fail to
understand that my heart at least is big enough to love both Judy and
you?"
The lamp burnt dimly and the fire went completely out. Hilda presently
fell asleep in the darkness, and now a moonbeam shining into the drawing
room and falling across her tired face made it look white and unearthly,
almost like the face of a dead girl. It was in this attitude that
Quentyns found her when he came back somewhere between one and two
o'clock.
His conscience was reproaching him, for Rivers, an old friend, had not
failed to give him a little spice of his mind; but he was just in that
irritable condition where repentance is almost impossible, and when
self-abasement only leads a man into further wrong-doing.
When he saw Hilda's tired face, he said to himself with a sort of laugh:
"If I don't encourage this sort of thing, I shall doubtless be more and
more of a tyrant in the eyes of my good wife and that precious
fastidious child and Rivers. Well, well, I cannot see the beauty of
voluntary martyrdom. If Hilda weren't quite such a goose, she would have
gone to bed two hours ago, instead of falling asleep here to the utter
disregard of her health and personal appearance."
So Quentyns, looking cross and uninterested, shook his wife not too
gently; spoke in a commonplace tone, out of which he purposely excluded
every scrap of emotion, and asked her how much longer she wanted to sit
up.
Hilda stumbled to her feet without a word. She went upstairs and to bed,
but although her husband quickly slept, she lay awake until the morning.
She came down to breakfast, looking tired and fagged. There were black
lines under her eyes, and when Quentyns asked her what was the matter,
she not only owned to a headache, but burst into tears.
When a man is thoroughly cross, nothing irritates him more than tears on
the part of his wife, and Quentyns now so far forgot himself as to rise
hastily from the breakfast table and leave the room, slamming the door
behind him. He put in his head a moment later to nod to his wife and say
good-by.
"If I'm late, don't wait dinner for me," he said, and then he left the
house. Hilda had plenty of time to wipe her tears away in the deserted
breakfast room. The pain at her heart was almost greater than she could
bear. Her gentle nature was stirred by what she considered gross
injustice on the part of her husband.
"He does not care for me any more," she muttered. "I thought him great
and brave and good. I know he is clever; I suppose he is great, and
perhaps even good; but I am too small and too little for him--I fail to
understand him, and he does not love me any more. Oh, if only little
Judy had stayed with me I should not feel as broken-hearted as I do at
present. if only little Judy had stayed with me, I should loneliness of
my life?"
At this moment Hilda's dismal meditations were interrupted by the sound
of carriage wheels, which not only came rattling down the little street,
but stopped at the hall door. She started up in a fright, pushed back
her disordered hair from her flushed face, and the next moment found
herself in the voluminous embrace of Jasper's aunt, Lady Malvern.
"My dear," exclaimed that good lady, "I must apologize for not looking
you up sooner, but I have been particularly busy; for Cynthia, my eldest
girl, has just got engaged and we are to have a wedding in the autumn
and all kinds of fuss; but I have not forgotten you, Hilda, and I have
just come to carry you off for the day. It is a lovely day, and we are
all going to drive to Richmond to picnic in the park. Run upstairs, my
love, and put on your hat and gloves. I mean to carry you off
immediately."
"But Jasper has just gone to town--he will be so sorry to have missed
you," said Hilda.
"Well, I suppose I can endure life even though I have missed Jasper,"
said Lady Malvern with a laugh. "In any case I want you, and so does
Cynthia. Cynthia has taken a great fancy to you, Hilda; so run away and
get ready. I will send a wire to your husband to come down and join us
later on. There now, will that content you, you poor, devoted little
soul?"
Hilda smiled and a faint color came into her cheeks.
"Run up to your room, my dear," said good-natured Lady Malvern. "Be as
quick as ever you can getting into the prettiest costume you have, for
we are to be quite a gay party, I can tell you. Now run off, dear, run
off, and pray don't keep me waiting a moment longer than you can help."
Lady Malvern was the sort of person who never could bear anyone to say
"no" to her, and Hilda at first unwillingly, but presently with a sort
of elation and even defiance which was altogether foreign to her gentle
nature, prepared to make herself smart for her unexpected gayety. She
went upstairs, pulled out one of her prettiest trousseau dresses, and,
with hands that trembled, began to array herself in it.
Meanwhile Lady Malvern sat perfectly still in the tiny little dining
room, with a somewhat troubled look on her good-tempered face.
"Now, what has Jasper been doing?" she said to herself. "That sweet
child doesn't look happy. Marks of tears round her eyes, flushed
cheeks--very low spirits. Dear, dear! this will never do. Not more than
three months from the wedding-day."
Lady Malvern had seen very little of her nephew since his marriage. She
knew nothing, therefore, about Judy; but she was just that fussy,
good-natured, hearty sort of body who could not bear anyone with whom
she came in contact to be miserable.
"I must set this right somehow or other," she said to herself. "Jasper
doesn't understand Hilda, and Hilda is wretched, and thinks, poor dear
little goose, that the sun will never shine again, and that life is
practically over for her. She does not know, how could she, poor
darling, how many rubs married people have to live through, and how
jolly and comfortable they are notwithstanding them. Well, well, I am
glad I called. I must set things right between this pair, whatever
happens."
Lady Malvern little guessed, however, that she personally was to have
very little to do with smoothing the rumpled rose-leaves in Hilda's and
Jasper's lives.
When Mrs. Quentyns returned to the little dining room the flush on her
cheeks and the softened look in her sweet eyes but added to her beauty,
and when she found herself bowling away through the pleasant spring air
in her kind friend's company, in spite of herself, her spirits could not
help rising.
Lady Malvern had a house in Hans Place, and there Cynthia and two
younger girls were waiting for them.
The day was a perfect one, very warm and summery for the time of year,
and the young people all agreed that it was by no means too early in the
season to enjoy themselves even in this _al fresco_ fashion.
They were to end with tea at the "Star and Garter," and they all started
off now for this day's pleasure in the highest spirits.
Hilda was quite young enough to enjoy such a proceeding immensely. As
space divided her from her little home in Philippa Terrace her spirits
rose, and now, if Judy had only been by her side, she would have felt
perfectly happy.
By the time they reached Richmond Park all trace of tears and sorrow had
left her charming face, and she was one of the brightest and gayest of
the company.
No one could make herself more useful than Hilda, and when her husband
appeared on the scene, he was a good deal astonished to see her flying
lightly about, ordering and directing the arrangements of the picnic
dinner. Her gay laughter floated to his ears on the summer breeze, her
cheeks were bright, her eyes shining. In short, she looked like that
charming Hilda who had won his heart in the old Rectory garden not a
year ago.
Hilda was busily helping to concoct a salmon mayonnaise, when, raising
her eyes, she met her husband's gaze. He smiled back at her a look of
approval and love, and her heart rose considerably.
There were other people present besides Jasper who thought Mrs. Quentyns
a very beautiful young woman. There were others waiting to show her the
most polite and gracious attentions, and these facts considerably
enhanced her value in her husband's eyes. In short, he began to fall in
love with his wife over again, and Judy for the time being was forgotten
by this pair.
The day passed all too quickly, and at last the moment arrived when the
little party must turn their steps homeward.
"You must both come home and have supper with us," said Lady Malvern to
her nephew and his wife. "Oh, yes, I shall take no denial; and now,
Jasper, will you drive Cynthia and her sister back to town? I mean Hilda
to accompany me."
Jasper was all smiles and good-humor. He was willing to accede to any
arrangement which could add to the pleasures of the day, and Hilda, in
whose heart a faint hope had lingered that she and her husband might
have gone home together, followed Lady Malvern to her carriage with a
little sigh. The whole party was soon driving home. Lady Malvern and
Hilda had a small victoria to themselves. As soon as ever they left the
rest of the party, the older woman turned and gave a full glance at the
girl by her side.
"Hilda," she said suddenly, "you look better than you did this morning."
"Oh, I feel better," she replied. "You have done me lots of good," she
continued, raising her eyes with an affectionate light in them to Lady
Malvern's kind face.
"I am delighted to have helped you, my love," replied the elder lady;
"and now, Hilda, I want to say something. You have been married very
little over three months. It is a very common illusion with girls to
imagine that married life is a time of perpetual bliss."
Hilda opened her lips to say something, but Lady Malvern interrupted.
"My dear," she said, "you must hear me out. Married life is not a bed of
roses, and the first year which a young couple spend together is
generally the hardest of all."
"What do you mean?" asked Mrs. Quentyns. "Why the first year?"
"Because, my dear, the glamour is gradually being removed. The girl is
finding that the hero whom she married is a right good fellow, but still
that he is human; that he has his faults and his aggravations; that he
needs to be humored and consulted and petted, and to have his
smallnesses--yes, my dear, mark the word, his smallnesses--attended to.
The husband is making similar discoveries with regard to the lovely
angel whom he took to his arms. She, too, is mortal--affectionate, of
course, and sweet and womanly, and ten thousand times better than a real
angel would be to him, but still with her faults, her tempers, and her
fads. The young couple discover these things in each other during the
first two or three months of married life. All their future happiness
depends on how they both act, under the influence of these discoveries.
They have got to learn that, though they are made one by the priest,
they are both of them distinct individualities. If they are to be happy
together, they must both give and take. I know a married couple who are
now the happiest, prosiest, most attached old pair in the world, who
went through no end of storms during their first eventful year. But they
learned a lesson and profited by it. The wife does not now think her
husband the greatest hero that ever set foot on this earth, and the
husband does not call his wife an angel; but I think, if their love were
analyzed, it would be found greater, deeper, and more tender than that
early glamour which was love, but was not equal to the love tried by
fire which comes later in life. Now, my dear, you will forgive my little
lecture. If you had need of it, ponder my words; if not, forgive an old
woman for worrying you. Hilda, what a sweet, pretty little house you
have! I always knew that my nephew Jasper had good taste. I am so truly
glad that you have the same."
While Lady Malvern was speaking, Hilda pulled down her veil, and
struggled hard to keep the tears from her brown eyes. She could not
quite manage this, however, and Lady Malvern, giving her a half-glance,
saw that her eyelashes were wet.
She did not add any more in words, but she made up her mind to help the
young girl by every means in her power.
They drove on rapidly. The horses were fresh, and they were getting over
the ground with great rapidity, when a quickly approaching train
startled one of the horses. At the same time a man on a bicycle darted
round the corner, and before he could help himself, knocked against the
carriage. The double shock was enough for the affrighted horses. They
plunged, reared, and became unmanageable, and the next moment the little
victoria was overturned, and Lady Malvern and Mrs. Quentyns were flung
with some violence on the pavement. Lady Malvern was not severely hurt,
and she sprang almost immediately to her feet, but the fright and fall
had stunned Hilda, who lay white and still on the ground without any
attempt at movement. The usual crowd of course collected, and it was on
this scene that Quentyns, in high good-humor, and forgetting for the
time being that there was a crumpled rose-leaf in the world, suddenly
came with some more of the picnic party. As a matter of course, they all
drew up. Quentyns was driving a high dog-cart. He sprang to the ground
and ran into the midst of the crowd. Then for the first time he realized
what had happened. His young wife, looking as if she were dead, was
lying in Lady Malvern's arms. Lady Malvern was seated on a doorstep.
Some men were hastily coming forward with a shutter.
"My God!" exclaimed Quentyns; "is she dead?"
"No, my dear boy, no--only stunned," said Lady Malvern. "Here, take her
into your own arms, Jasper. You are stronger than I. Let her see your
face first when she opens her eyes. No medicine will be so reviving as
that."
Here a woman came up and spoke to Lady Malvern.
"I shall be only too pleased to have the young lady brought into my
house, madam," she said. "A very good doctor lives just round the
corner, and he can be summoned at once."
"Yes, yes; send for him immediately," said Quentyns.
He strode into the house with his light burden. Hilda was laid upon a
sofa, and in a few moments the doctor arrived. He felt her all over and
said that no bones were broken, and that no severe injury of any kind
had occurred, but both fall and shock had been very severe. He counseled
her being left undisturbed in her present condition until the morning.
"Then I will go home," said Lady Malvern. "You will look after her
yourself, Jasper?"
"Need you ask?" he replied. He followed his aunt to the door as he
spoke.
"Hilda had a narrow escape of her life," said Lady Malvern, looking full
at her nephew as she spoke. "How sudden and awful it all was! There were
we chatting together, and thinking no more of danger than if such a
thing did not exist, when all in an instant came that awful bolt from
the blue. I shall never forget the swinging of the carriage and the way
the horses looked when they plunged and kicked about, or the white
piteous face of your sweet little Hilda, who would not scream nor show
any outward sign of terror. I thought it was all over with both of us--I
did really, Jasper. I cannot tell you how thankful we ought to be that
things are no worse."
"You are sure then that Hilda is not in danger?" queried the young man
in a tremulous voice.
"No, no; what did you hear the doctor say, you silly boy? Perhaps the
best thing that could have happened to Hilda was this accident, dreadful
as it was for the moment. Perhaps--well, Jasper, I think you must know
what I mean."
"Has Hilda been talking about me?" asked Jasper, a wave of red mounting
to his brow.
"Talking about you?" replied his aunt, now thoroughly angry; "only in
the way that Hilda can talk of those whom she loves best on earth.
Jasper, you are the luckiest man in the world, and if you don't contrive
to make that sweet child the happiest woman, I for one will have nothing
to do with you again."
"No fear, no fear, if she loves me in that way," murmured Jasper.
He turned abruptly on his heel and went back to the room where his wife
lay. He was a very proud, reserved man, and even in moments of the
deepest agitation would scarcely reveal his real sentiments. But that
moment, when he had looked at his wife's white face and had thought that
she was dead, had shaken his whole nature to its very depths. He made a
discovery then that nothing in all the world was of any real value to
him compared with Hilda's love.
"I have acted like a brute to her," he murmured. "Rivers was right.
She's too good for me--she's fifty times too good for me. My God, how
white she looks as she lies there! Suppose the doctor is wrong. Why
doesn't she speak or move? Why do they make so little of this continued
unconsciousness? I think I'll go for some further advice. Oh, my
darling, my darling, if you are dead, if your sweet life has been taken,
I shall never forgive myself--never!"
But just then there was a faint stir of the heavily fringed lids which
lay against Hilda's white cheeks. The next moment the sweet brown eyes
were opened wide, and Hilda looked into her husband's face.
"What has happened?" she asked drowsily. "I don't remember anything.
Where are we?"
"Together, Hilda," he replied; "together. Does anything else really
matter?"
"Oh, no, no!" she said, with a catch in her voice.
* * * * *
Next day Mrs. Quentyns was so far convalescent as to be able to return
to the little house in Philippa Terrace. Jasper, of course, accompanied
her. They had found a good deal to say to each other, between the moment
when she had opened her eyes the night before and now. Both had some
things to confess--both had some words of forgiveness to crave from the
other. So complete now had been the interchange of soul and of love
between this pair that it seemed impossible that anything could ever
separate such warm hearts again.
"And it has been all Judy's doing," said Jasper as they sat that
evening in the little drawing room.
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Why," he answered, "if Judy had not brought matters to a crisis by
going away, we might have drifted further and further apart. But now we
must have her back again, Hilda. She has fulfilled her mission, dear
little soul, and now she must have her reward."
"No," said Hilda, in a firm voice. "Judy shall have her reward, but not
by coming back. She did right to go. I could never, never have sent her
away, but she did right to go."
"Do you mean to tell me, Hilda, that you could be perfectly happy to
live without her?"
"With you," she said, laying her hand on his arm, and looking into his
face with her sweet eyes shining through tears.
He put his arms round her and kissed her many times.
"Jasper," said Hilda after a few minutes, "I think the first wrong step
that I took--the first beginning of that unhappy time--was when I lost
my temper down at Little Staunton and gave up my engagement ring."
"No wonder you lost your temper when I was such a brute about
everything," said Quentyns. "It was my fault."
"No, no; it was mine."
"Have you missed the ring, Hilda?"
"Missed it?" she held up her slender finger. "My heart has been empty
without it," she said.
"Then let me put it on again for you."
"Can you? Is--isn't it sold?"
"Of course not. Do you think that I could sell that ring?"
"But--but the furniture in Judy's room?"
"When I saw that you must have Judy with you, Hilda, I went into debt
for the furniture. Oh, never mind all that now, my darling--the debt is
paid in full a week ago, and I have the receipt in my pocket. Now I am
going upstairs to fetch the ring."
CHAPTER XIX.
GOOD OMENS.
And so the shadows fall apart,
And so the west winds play;
And all the windows of my heart
I open to the day.
--WHITTIER.
Mildred Anstruther was paying a visit at the Rectory on the day that
Rivers and Judy walked in. Rivers was a very striking-looking man, and
all the Rectory people were so devoured with curiosity about him, and so
interested in all he said and did--in his reasons for coming down to
Little Staunton, and in his remarks about the Quentyns--that Judy's own
return to the family circle passed into utter insignificance. She was
there--they had none of them expected her, and as she chose to come
back, she was welcome of course.
It was a lovely day, and the whole party were out in the garden, when
Rivers and his little charge entered their midst.
Judy wore her green cloak and pretty black shady hat. There was a new
sort of picturesqueness about her, which Aunt Marjorie noticed in an
abstracted way; she put it down to "the polish which even a short
residence in the metropolis always gives;" she had not the faintest idea
that it was due to the dignity which a noble action can inspire.
Judy greeted everyone quite in her old manner, and was rather glad that
she was not fussed over, but taken quite as a matter-of-course.
Aunt Marjorie was too anxious about the cream for Rivers' tea to give
serious thoughts to anyone else just then. But when the young man had
departed to catch the return train to London, then a few questions were
asked of Judy.
"I thought you were going to live with Hilda," said Mildred, looking
curiously at the child.
Mildred was standing a little apart from the others, and Judy, whose
face was pale, for the suffering of her self-sacrifice was still causing
her heart to ache horribly, looked full at her, and said in a low voice:
"That turned out to be a mistake, so I've come home."
"You brave little darling!" said Mildred, understanding everything like
a flash; she stooped and kissed Judy on her forehead.
Babs came rushing into the midst of the group.
"Judy, Judy, I want you," she cried.
"What is it?" asked Judy.
"There's a butterfly coming out of a chrysalis in the butterfly-case;
come quick--he's moving his tail backward and forward--he'll soon be
out; come quick and see him."
The dull look left Judy's eyes; they sparkled with a sudden, swift,
childish joy.
She took Babs' hand, and they rushed away, right round to the back of
the house where the butterfly-case stood.
"Let's take him out, poor darling," she said; "let's put him on a leaf,
and watch him as he gets out of his prison."
Her eyes grew brighter and brighter; she bent low to watch the
resurrection which was going on.
After all the chrysalis and the butterfly were emblems. They were good
omens to Judy that love and hope were not dead.
THE END.
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