The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Power of Faith, by Isabella Graham
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Title: The Power of Faith
Exemplified In The Life And Writings Of The Late Mrs. Isabella Graham.
Author: Isabella Graham
Release Date: July 12, 2005 [EBook #16276]
Language: English
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THE POWER OF FAITH,
EXEMPLIFIED IN
THE LIFE AND WRITINGS
OF THE LATE
MRS. ISABELLA GRAHAM.
A NEW EDITION,
ENRICHED BY HER NARRATIVE OF HER HUSBAND'S DEATH, AND
OTHER SELECT CORRESPONDENCE
The fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom; and before honor
is humility. The Lord will destroy the house of the proud; but he will
establish the border of the widow. PROV. 15:25, 33.
PUBLISHED BY THE
AMERICAN TRACT SOCIETY,
150 NASSAU STREET, NEW YORK:
28 CORNHILL, BOSTON.
Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1843,
by JOANNA BETHUNE, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court
for the Southern District of New York.
Copyright transferred to the American Tract Society.
CONTENTS.
_______________
CHAPTER I.
EARLY LIFE--RESIDENCE IN CANADA.
Foundation of the excellence of her character--Birth--
Education--Conversion--Marriage--Voyage to Quebec--
Doddridge's Rise and Progress--Residence at Montreal and
Fort Niagara--Sails for Antigua--1742-1772, .................. 7
CHAPTER II.
RESIDENCE AT ANTIGUA--DR. GRAHAM'S DEATH.
Dr. Graham called to St. Vincents--His safe return--State of
his mind--Death of Mrs. Graham's mother--Letter
describing the death of Dr. Graham--Kindness of Dr. H.--
Reflections--Letters to Mrs. Grandidier and to her father--
Departure for Scotland--1773-1775, ............................ 22
CHAPTER III.
RETURN TO SCOTLAND--SCHOOL AT EDINBURGH.
Perilous voyage--Trust in God--Return to Cartside--Care of
her father--Residence at Paisley--Depressed circumstances--
Peace in God--Singular investment and result--School
in Edinburgh--Friends--Benevolence to poor tradesmen--
Dancing--Letter of Lady Glenorchy--Origin of the Society
for the Relief of the Destitute Sick--Death and character
of Lady Glenorchy--Letter to a daughter--Visit to
Cartside and Paisley--Reposes all upon Christ--Removal to
New York--Devotional exercises--1776-1789, ................... 54
CHAPTER IV.
SCHOOL IN NEW YORK--DEATH OF HER PASTOR,
DR. JOHN MASON--LAST NEWS OF HER SON.
Voyage and reception at New York--Marriage of Mrs. Stevenson--
Anxiety for her son--He escapes a press-gang--Confidence
in God--Sickness and death of her pastor, Dr. John Mason--
His character--Dr. John M. Mason installed pastor--
Devotional exercises--Letter to A.D.--Letter to her son--
Last intelligence of him--Reflections--1789-1794, ............ 82
CHAPTER V.
DEATH OF HER DAUGHTER--FIRST MISSIONARY
SOCIETY IN NEW YORK.
Marriage of Mrs. Bethune--Death of Mrs. Stevenson--Strong
consolation--Singular receipts and liberality--Devotional
exercises--Anniversary of her daughter's birth and death--
First Missionary Society in New York--Reflections--
Acquaintance with Mrs. C---- near Boston--Letter and
devotional exercises--1795-1797, ............................. 115
CHAPTER VI.
FORMATION OF THE WIDOWS' SOCIETY--
CLOSE OF HER SCHOOL.
Rise of the Widows' Society--First monthly missionary
prayer-meeting--Letter to a young man on joining the
church--The Essay on Man--Marriage of Mrs. Smith--Close
of her school--Labors for widows and the poor--Letters to
Mrs. C.--The yellow-fever--Death of Washington--Devotional
exercises--1797-1800, ........................................ 144
CHAPTER VII.
BENEVOLENT LABORS--MRS. HOFFMAN--
CORRESPONDENCE.
Schools and labors connected with the Widows' Society--Her
friend Mrs. Hoffman--Anniversary of the Widows' Society--
Visit to Boston--Want of evangelical preaching--Letters
to Miss M---- of Boston--Letters to Mr. and Mrs. Bethune in
Britain--Anxiety for them--Confidence in God--Church
discipline--Dr. Mason sails for Britain--1800-1801, .......... 167
CHAPTER VIII.
JOURNAL AND LETTERS--LADIES' SCHOOL
FOR POOR CHILDREN.
Death of a grandchild--Letters to Mr. and Mrs. Bethune in
Britain--Death of B.--Of another grandchild--Of Pero, a
colored man--Return of Mr. and Mrs. Bethune--Takes up her
abode with them--Devotional exercises--Ladies' school for
poor children--Address on its formation--Supplications for
a revival of God's work--Labors for the suffering poor--
Letters to Mrs. C.--Letter to the widow of her brother--
1801-1805, ................................................... 200
CHAPTER IX.
ORPHAN ASYLUM SOCIETY--FOREIGN MISSIONARIES.
Letters--Formation and success of the Orphan Asylum--
Inscription for Mrs. Graham and Mrs. Hoffman--Labors in the
New York hospital and among female convicts--Miss
Farquharson, first American missionary to foreign lands--
Visit of Rev. Dr. Morrison and others--Letter to her
children at the Springs--Letter to Mrs. Juliet S.--Visits
Rockaway--Reminiscence of Elderslie--1806-1809, .............. 250
CHAPTER X.
NEW YORK BIBLE SOCIETY--ASSOCIATIONS FOR PRAYER--
HAPPY OLD AGE.
Letters--Bible Society organized--Efforts for the revival and
extension of religion--Admissions to the communion--
Narrow escape from drowning at Rockaway--Barrenness of
preaching without Christ--Devotional exercises--Letters
to Miss Van Wyck and James Todd--Happy old age--Letter to
Mrs. C---- in affliction--Letter to Mrs. G.Y.--Prayer for
ministers--Magdalen Society--Lancasterian school--
1809-1811, ................................................... 270
CHAPTER XI.
DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES AND LETTERS.
Indwelling sin lamented--Day of fasting--Happiness of the
aged Christian--Sermon in the state-prison--Happy
reminiscences--Two grandchildren unite with the church--
Unfaithfulness to people of the world lamented--Rich
temporal blessings--Letter to Mrs. J.W.--Day of fasting--
1812-1814, ................................................... 309
CHAPTER XII.
CLOSING LABORS FOR THE POOR--SICKNESS AND DEATH.
Society for the promotion of industry among the poor--
Sunday-school of eighty children--Love of evangelical books
Last two weeks--Communion--Last sickness--Peaceful
death--Character by Dr. Mason--Epitaph--1814, ................ 348
PROVISION FOR PASSING OVER JORDAN.
Scripture extracts--Meditations--Poetic effusions, ............... 379
LIFE
OF
MRS. ISABELLA GRAHAM.
_______________
CHAPTER I.
EARLY LIFE--RESIDENCE IN CANADA.
Mankind take an interest in the history of those who, like
themselves, have encountered the trials and discharged the duties of
life. Too often, however, publicity is given to the lives of men
splendid in acts of mighty mischief, in whom the secret exercises of
the heart would not bear a scrutiny. The memoirs are comparatively few
of those engaged in the humble and useful walks of active benevolence,
where the breathings of the soul would display a character much to be
admired, and more to be imitated.
As the celebrated Dr. Buchanan has observed, that if you were to
ask certain persons in Christian countries, if they had any
acquaintance with the _religious_ world, they would say "they had
never heard there _was_ such a world;" so, while the external
conduct of individuals is made the subject of much critical remark,
the religion of the heart, the secret source of action, too frequently
escapes unnoticed and unexplored.
It is only when the career of life is closed, that the character
is completely established. On this account memoirs of the living are,
in few instances, read with much interest; but when the soul has
departed, and the body sleeps in dust, it may prove useful to
survivors to examine the principles which led their departed friend to
a life of honorable benevolence, and to a peaceful end.
Such considerations as these, and the urgent request of many
respectable individuals, have induced the preparation of the following
sketch of the life and writings of Mrs. ISABELLA GRAHAM, whose
character was so esteemed, and whose memory is so venerated by all who
knew her. The evident purity of motive which impelled her to activity
in deeds of benevolence, at once commanded love and respect, which, in
her case peculiarly, was unalloyed with any risings of jealousy, envy,
or distrust.
Blessed with a spirit of philanthropy, with an ardent and
generous mind, a sound judgment, and an excess of that sensibility
which moulds the soul for friendship, a cultivated intellect and rich
experience, her company was eagerly sought and highly valued by old
and young. Though happily qualified to shine in the drawing-room, her
time was seldom wasted there; for such a disposition of it would have
been waste, contrasted with her usual employments. Her steps were not
seen ascending the hill, of ambition, nor tracing the mazes of popular
applause. Where the widow and the orphan wept, where the sick and the
dying moaned, thither her footsteps hastened; and there, seen only by
her heavenly Father, she administered to their temporal wants,
breathed the voice of consolation on their ear, shed the tear of
sympathy, exhibited the truths of the gospel from the sacred volume,
and poured out her soul for them in prayer to her Saviour and her God.
In a few such deeds she rested not, nor was the story of them
obtruded upon others, or recorded by herself. The recollection of past
exertions was lost in her zeal to accomplish greater purposes and
greater good: her heart expanded with her experience, and her means
were too limited, the active powers of her vigorous mind too feeble,
to fulfil the abounding desires of her soul in alleviating the
miseries and increasing the comforts of the poor, the destitute, and
afflicted. To learn the latent springs of such excellence is worthy of
research; they may be all summed up in this, _the religion of
the heart_.
The extracts from Mrs. Graham's letters and devotional exercises,
which constitute so large a part of the following pages, will furnish
the best development of her principles; and may, with the blessing of
God, prove useful to those who read them. In all her writings will be
manifested the power of _faith_, the efficiency of _grace_,
and in them, as in her own uniform confession, Jesus will be magnified
and self will be humbled. Her life was chiefly distinguished by her
continual dependence on God, and his unceasing faithfulness and mercy
towards her.
ISABELLA MARSHALL, afterwards Mrs. Graham, was born July 29,
1742, in the shire of Lanark, in Scotland. Her grandfather was one of
the elders who quitted the established church with the Rev. Messrs.
Ralph and Ebenezer Erskine. She was educated in the principles of the
church of Scotland. Her father and mother were both pious; indeed, her
mother, whose maiden name was Janet Hamilton, appears, from her
letters yet extant, to have possessed a mind of the same character as
her daughter afterwards exhibited.
Isabella was trained to an active life, as well as favored with a
superior education. Her grandfather, whose dying-bed she assiduously
attended, bequeathed her a legacy of some hundred pounds. In the use
to which she applied this money, the soundness of her judgment was
thus early manifested. She requested it might be appropriated to the
purpose of procuring a thorough _education_. When ten years of
age, she was sent to a boarding-school taught by a lady of
distinguished talents and piety. Often has Mrs. Graham repeated to her
children the maxims of Mrs. Betty Morehead. With ardent and unwearied
endeavors to attain mental endowments, and especially moral and
religious knowledge, she attended the instructions of Mrs. Morehead
for seven successive winters. How valuable is early instruction. With
the blessing of God, it is probable that this instructress laid the
foundation of the exertions and usefulness of her pupil in after-life.
How wise and how gracious are the ways of the Lord. Knowing the path
in which he was afterwards to lead Isabella Marshall, her God was
pleased to provide her an education of a much higher kind than was
usual in those days. Who would not trust that God, who alone can be
_the guide of our youth_?
Her father, John Marshall, farmed a paternal estate, called the
Heads, near Hamilton. This estate he sold, and rented the estate of
Elderslie, once the habitation of Sir William Wallace. There Isabella
passed her childhood and her youth.
She had no definite recollection of the period at which her heart
first _tasted that the Lord is gracious_. As far back as she
could remember, she took delight in pouring out her soul to God. In
the woods of Elderslie she selected a bush, to which she resorted in
seasons of devotion. Under this bush she believed she was enabled to
devote herself to God, through faith in her Redeemer, before she had
entered on her tenth year. To this favorite, and to her, sacred spot,
she would repair, when exposed to temptation or perplexed with
childish troubles. From thence she caused her prayers to ascend, and
there she found peace and consolation.
Children cannot at too early a period seek the favor of the God of
heaven. How blessed to be reared and fed by his hand, taught by his
Spirit, and strengthened by his grace.
The late Rev. Dr. Witherspoon, afterwards president of Princeton
college, was at this time one of the ministers of the town of Paisley.
Isabella sat under his ministry, and at the age of seventeen publicly
professed her faith in Christ. In the year 1765 she was married to Dr.
John Graham, then a practising physician in Paisley, a gentleman of
liberal education and of respectable standing.
About a year after their marriage, Dr. Graham, having been
appointed surgeon to the 60th or royal American regiment, was ordered
to Canada, where that corps was stationed. Mrs. Graham accompanied
him, and a plan was digested--with how limited a knowledge of the
future will appear--for their permanent residence in America. Dr.
Graham calculated on disposing of his commission, and purchasing a
tract of land on the Mohawk river, where his father-in-law, Mr.
Marshall, was to follow him. The letter subjoined gives the
interesting incidents of their voyage, and forms a pleasant
introduction to the character of Mrs. Graham at this period of
her life.
"QUEBEC, August 29, 1767.
"MY DEAREST PARENTS--This is the fifth letter I have written to
you, although I know it is the first that can reach you. All the time
I was at sea I kept a letter lying by me, in hope of getting it put on
board some vessel bound for Britain; but I have met with many
disappointments. We spoke several ships, but I never could get a
letter put on board. At one time I was told the wind was too high, at
another that the ship was at too great a distance, and so was put off
till I began to understand a more substantial reason, namely, that it
would cost the captain rather too much trouble.
"We have now, however, got safe here, after a tedious voyage of
nine weeks, and I will give you a short account of what happened
during that time.
"We sailed, as you know, from Greenock, June 10. For the first
five or six days we had fine weather and fair winds, and got quite
clear of land; after this, we had nearly six weeks of most tempestuous
weather, and the wind, except for about two days, directly against us.
The gentlemen after some time began to be very impatient; for my part
I should not have cared although it had lasted twelve months. I had
left all that was dear to me behind, except one dear friend, that one
was constantly with me, and although the rest of the company in the
ship was very agreeable, yet I was the great object of his attention,
and his invention was ever on the stretch to find amusement for me. It
is not possible for me to say with what indulgent tenderness I was
treated; but though I love my husband even to extravagance, yet my
dear friends whom I left behind have a large share of my heart. They
dwell on my mind in the daytime; and at night, when sleep lays the
body aside and leaves the soul at liberty, she on the wings of
imagination makes one skip over whole seas, and is immediately with
those dear friends whose absence she so much lamented during the day,
and in an imaginary body as truly enjoys you for the time as if really
present with you.
"The gentlemen on board soon found reason to be thankful for the
preservation of life, and got something very different to think of
than fret at the contrary winds. A leak sprung in the ship, which
alarmed them all so much that a consultation was held among them
whether if any ship came near they should hail it and go on board
wherever she was bound. I was perfectly unconcerned about the whole
matter, not being aware of the danger, which was kept secret from me
till we came on shore. I saw the men constantly pumping, but thought
it was what they were obliged to do in every ship. After coming to
land, on examining the ship, they found the leak to be so large that
one might put his five fingers into it; indeed, it seemed next to a
miracle that she kept above water; but every day of our lives may
convince us what dependent creatures we are. While God's merciful
providence protects us we are safe, though in the midst of apparent
danger; should he withdraw that protection but for a moment,
inevitable evils surround us, even when we think ourselves in
perfect safety.
"A proof of this we had in a most distressing event, which took
place about six weeks after we left Greenock. The wind was in our
favor, the day was fine, and we were all amusing ourselves on deck in
various ways, when Captain Kerr, who was standing close by us,
stumbling backwards, fell overboard. He got above water before the
ship passed him, and called to throw him a rope, but alas, no rope was
at hand, and before one was got the ship was out of his reach.
Immediately they threw over a large hen-coop, but, poor man, he could
not swim, so he soon disappeared. The boats were put out with great
expedition, and in less than a quarter of an hour he was found. You
may believe no means were left unemployed to restore animation; but
alas, the spirit had taken its final leave; it was no longer an
inhabitant of earth, not the least signs of life appeared. The day
after, being Sunday, his body was committed to the deep, from whence
it had been rescued the day before. Dr. Graham read in public the
church of England burial service. Every one on board seemed much
affected; I cannot tell you how much I was.
"About eight days after, we got to the Banks of Newfoundland;
while there the fog was so dense we could not see forty yards in any
direction, and the cold was excessive, notwithstanding the season of
the year. There were a great many islands of ice floating on the
water; I saw three within twenty yards of us, much larger than the
ship. The captain said if the ship ran against any one of them, she
would be dashed to pieces. And here, again, my former observation
holds good, for sure it could not be the art of man, either in the
dark night or in the dense fog, which could protect the ship flying
before the wind, through dangers so thick on every side of us. For
several days and nights we saw neither sun nor stars, which distressed
the captain much, for he knew not where we were, and apprehending we
were near land, was afraid of running upon some rock; so we were
obliged to cruise about till the atmosphere cleared.
"The sail up the river St. Lawrence is extremely pleasant. You
know how fond I have ever been of wood and water. This country, in
this respect, is quite to my taste, and could I only get half a dozen
of those friends I could name settled down on either side of us, with
five hundred pounds' worth of land to give to each, I should ask no
more in this world.
"When we arrived, the doctor's friend Mr. Findley came on board,
took us on shore, and brought us to his elegant mansion. He begged we
would look on him as an old friend, feel perfectly at home, and remain
with him as long as we could. Give my love to my dear boys;* you see
them often, I have no doubt. Do, my dearest mamma, write me soon, and
tell me all about them and yourself; and ever believe me, my dear
parents, with the greatest affection,
*Dr. Graham's two sons by a former marriage, who were left under the
care of Mr. Davidson, rector of the grammar-school of Paisley.
"Your dutiful daughter,
"I. GRAHAM."
In a letter a month, later, Mrs. Graham refers to the gay and
fashionable circles to which they were introduced in Quebec, and
mentions her visiting the beautiful falls of Montmorency; but mourns
over the low state of religion, and the prevailing desecration of the
Sabbath. She adds:
"I have read Doddridge's Rise and Progress. I little knew what a
treasure Mr. Ellis put into my hand when he gave me that book. I
cannot say it is my daily companion, but I can with truth say it is
often so. Let my mind be in ever so giddy and thoughtless a frame, or
ever so much busied in those amusements I am engaged in, it makes me
serious, and gives my thoughts a different turn; there is scarce any
situation the mind can be in, but it will find something suitable
there. I must not, however, make remarks on the particular contents of
it; it would occupy more paper than I have to spare. I would have you
purchase the book; I am sure you would like it; and when you have read
it, it will be matter of great satisfaction to you that John and I
have such a treasure in our possession. In it are contained every
advice you could give us, and cautions against the temptations which,
on account of youth, company, and the country we are in, we are
exposed to."
They were expecting to spend the winter in Quebec, but were
ordered to Montreal, where Jessie, her eldest daughter, was born, and
where Mrs. Graham received intelligence of the death of her infant
son, who had been left with her mother in Scotland. Further orders
were soon received for the doctor to join the second battalion of his
regiment at fort Niagara, on lake Ontario; Mrs. Graham followed him,
and they continued here in garrison for four years, during which her
second and third daughters, Joanna and Isabella, were added to
her charge.
Under date of February 3, 1771, we find, from her own pen, the
following description of her occupations and enjoyments, in a letter
addressed to her beloved mother:
"My two Indian girls come on very well indeed. The eldest milked
the cows all summer; she washes and irons all the clothes for the
family, scrubs the floors, and does the most part of the kitchen work.
The young one's charge is the children, and some other little turns
when the infant is asleep. I teach them to read and to sew when they
have any spare time. As for me, I find I have enough to do to
superintend. You may be sure I help a little too, now and then. I make
and mend what is necessary for the family, for I must be tailor,
mantua-maker, and milliner.
"In the forenoon the doctor makes his rounds as usual. I generally
trot about till two o'clock, dress the children, order dinner, dress
myself, and twenty other things, which you know are necessary to be
looked after by the mistress of a family. After dinner I sit down to
my work, and we have always a book, which the doctor reads when I can
attend; when I cannot, he reads something else.
"As I am at present the only wife in the place, we have a regular
tea-table, and now and then a little frugal supper; for the doctor has
come more into my way of thinking, and does not insist upon cutting a
figure as much as some time ago. When alone, he reads and I work, as
usual. He is seldom out, and never but when I am with him. We are easy
in our circumstances, and want for nothing that is necessary; in
short, my ever dear parents, my life is easy and pleasant. The Lord my
God make it pious and useful.
"Could I place myself and family in the same circumstances, and
every thing go on in the same manner, within a few miles of you, I
should be happy for life; and were it not for this hope, which my
heart is set upon, I could not be so, with all I have told you.
"We find the newspapers full of preparations for war; may the Lord
dispose all hearts to peace, for I hate the sound, though it is the
wish of the greatest number about me. There is no prospect of our
leaving this place for a year yet. For my part I have only two reasons
for wishing it. The first is, I should like to be in some Christian
society; the other, that I might do something towards getting home. To
return to the gay world, again I have no ambition. My family here, and
my friends at home, engross all my attention; and when I see the one,
and hear of the other being well, I am happy. Time never hangs heavy
on my hand; I can always find employment, and amusement too, without
the assistance of what go under the name of diversions.
"We have lately had several visits from a great family. The chief
of the Seneca nation having a daughter not well, brought her to the
doctor to see what could be done for her; he, his squaw or lady, and
daughters breakfasted with us several times. I was kind, and made all
the court to them I could, though we could not converse but by an
interpreter. I made the daughters some little presents, and the doctor
would not be feed. Who knows but these little services may one day
save our scalps? There have been several threatenings of an Indian
war; thank God, it seems to be quite hushed again.
"War with civilized nations is nothing to war with Indians. They
have no mercy, nor give any quarter to man, woman, or child: all meet
the same fate, except where they take a liking to particular persons;
those they adopt as their children, and use them as such.
"The doctor joins in affectionate respects to my dear father, and
you, the boys, and all our dear friends. I am as much as ever, and
will be to my latest breath, my dear mamma, your affectionate
daughter,
"I. GRAHAM."
Mrs. Graham always considered the time she passed at Niagara as
the happiest of her days, considered in a temporal view. The officers
of the regiment were amiable men, attached to each other, and the
ladies were united in the ties of friendship. The society there,
secluded from the world, exempt from the collision of individual and
separate interests, which often create so much discord in large
communities, and studious to promote the happiness of each other,
enjoyed that tranquillity and contentment which ever accompany a
disinterested interchange of friendly offices. But this fort being
detached from other settlements, the garrison were deprived of
ordinances and the public means of grace, and the life of religion in
the soul of Mrs. Graham sunk to a low ebb. A conscientious observance
of the Sabbath, which throughout life she maintained, proved to her at
Niagara as a remembrance and revival of devotional exercises. She
wandered on those sacred days into the woods around Niagara, searched
her Bible, communed with God and herself, and poured out her soul in
prayer to her covenant Lord. Throughout the week, the attentions to
her friends, her domestic comfort and employments, and the amusements
pursued in the garrison, she used to confess, occupied too much of her
time and of her affections.
Here we behold a little society enjoying much comfort and
happiness in each other, yet falling short of that preëminent duty and
superior blessedness of glorifying, as they ought to have done, the
God of heaven, who fed them by his bounty, and offered them a full and
free salvation in the gospel of his Son. No enjoyments nor
possessions, however ample and acceptable, can crown the soul with
peace and true felicity, unless accompanied with the fear and favor of
Him who can speak pardon to the transgressor, and _shed abroad his
love in the hearts_ of his children; thus giving an earnest of
spiritual and eternal blessedness along with temporal good.
The commencement of the revolutionary struggle in America rendered
it necessary, in the estimation of the British government, to order to
another and very diverse scene of action the sixtieth regiment,
composed in a great measure of Americans.
Their destination was the island of Antigua: Dr. and Mrs. Graham
and their family, consisting of three infant daughters and two young
Indian girls, sailed from Niagara to Oswego, and from thence, by a
path through the woods, reached the Mohawk, which river they descended
in batteaux to Schenectady. Here Dr. Graham left his family, and went
to New York to complete a negotiation he had entered into for
disposing of his commission, to enable him to settle, as he originally
intended, on a tract of land which it was in his power to purchase on
the banks of the river they had just descended. The gentleman
proposing to purchase his commission, not being able to perfect the
arrangement in time, Dr. Graham found himself under the necessity of
proceeding to Antigua with the regiment. Mrs. Graham on learning this,
hurried down with her family to accompany him, although he had left it
optional with her to remain till he should have ascertained the
nature of the climate, and the probability of his continuing in the
West Indies.
At New York they were treated with much kindness by the late Rev.
Dr. John Rodgers and others, especially by the family of Mr. Vanbrugh
Livingston. With Mr. Livingston's daughter, the wife of Major Brown,
of the sixtieth regiment, Mrs. Graham formed a very intimate
friendship, which continued during the life of Mrs. Brown.
They embarked with the regiment, November 5, 1772, for Antigua.
CHAPTER II.
RESIDENCE AT ANTIGUA--DR. GRAHAM'S DEATH.
Within three weeks after their arrival at Antigua, six companies
were ordered to the island of St. Vincents to quell an insurrection of
the Caribs. The doctor accompanied them, and Mrs. Graham was called to
the pain of separation under circumstances more trying than she had as
yet experienced, as the war with savages might expose him to the most
cruel death. In these circumstances she wrote him as follows:
"ANTIGUA, January 16, 1773.
"MY DEAREST DOCTOR--This goes by Mr. W----, who sails to-morrow;
also a letter to Captain G----. Mr. M---- begs to be remembered to
you; he has been foot and hand to me since you left. My dearest
doctor, suffer me to put you in remembrance of what you put in the end
of your trunk the morning you left me,* and let it not lie idle.
Read it as the voice of God to your soul. My dearest love, I have been
greatly distressed for fear of your dear life; but the love I bear to
your soul is as superior to that of your body, as the value of one
surpasses the other; consequently my anxiety for its interest is
proportioned. May heaven preserve my dearest love--lead you, guide
you, direct you, so can you never go wrong--protect and defend you, so
shall you ever be safe, is the daily prayer of your affectionate wife,
*Doddridge's Rise and Progress of Religion in the Soul.
"I. GRAHAM.
"P.S. I am told that you have taken a number of prisoners. I know
not if you have any right to entail slavery on these poor creatures.
If any fall to your share, do set them at liberty."
On the 8th of June, Mrs. Graham wrote to her mother, expressing
her gratitude for her husband's safe return, and noticing some
gratifying indications of the calm and peaceful state of his mind:
"You would be surprised to hear the doctor preach. He says we
ought to be thankful; we have hitherto been richly and bountifully
provided for; we ought not to repine, nor doubt, seeing we have the
same Providence to depend upon; that we ought not to set our hearts
upon any thing in this world; being very short-sighted, we cannot know
what is proper for us. Having done for the best, when we are
disappointed, we ought to rest satisfied that either what we wish is
not for our good, or it will in some future dispensation of Providence
be brought about another way and in a fitter time. Indeed, my dear
mamma, in some things he is a better Christian than I am. _May God
make him so in every thing._"
Thus was the Lord preparing his servant for what was so soon
to follow--not his dismission from the regiment, which he so
ardently desired, but from this world and its temptations and snares.
Mrs. Graham's prayers were answered, but "by terrible things
in righteousness."
She added a request that her mother would receive her eldest
daughter, who, though at the early age of _five years_, she
feared would receive injurious influences from the corrupt state of
society around her, and accordingly, not long after, sent her to
Scotland; but before her arrival, her grandmother had been called to a
better world. In reference to this event Mrs. Graham wrote to her
bereaved father as follows:
"ANTIGUA, August 21, 1773.
"MY DEAREST PAPA--The heart-rending tidings of my dear, my
tender, my affectionate mother's death reached me yesterday. I am so
distressed that I can scarcely write, and no wonder, for never was
there such a mother. My loss is indeed great; but O, my dear, my
afflicted father, how my heart bleeds for you. Father of mercies,
support my aged parent, and enable him to place his hopes of happiness
beyond this transitory world, and to follow the footsteps of the
dear departed saint till he joins her in glory, never, never more to
be separated.
"My dearest father, we may indeed mourn for ourselves; but she
is happy--that is beyond all doubt. Her delight was with God while
she was here; her closet was a Bethel; her Bible was her heart's
treasure, and His people were her loved companions. She has now
joined the innumerable company above, where she continues the same
services without human frailty, and the enjoyment heightened beyond
our highest conceptions.
"O then, my dear father, be comforted; let us now try to follow
her; let her Saviour now be ours, and then shall we be blest with
like consolations.
"My dearest father, I cannot tell you how much I feel for you; my
tears will not allow me, they flow so fast that I cannot write; what
would I give to be with you. But these are vain words.
"The doctor, however, fully expects that next summer will bring
him leave to go home; then, I trust, we shall be in some fixed place
of abode, and, my dear papa, you will come and live with us. I shall
feel it to be a privilege beyond what I can tell, to perform every
service you stand in need of, soothe your pains and comfort you under
the infirmities of old age.
"My dear, my worthy brother--how has that tender letter, and the
noble resolution he has taken, endeared him to me. It is certainly his
indispensable duty to stay with you in your present solitary
situation; such a dutiful, affectionate son must be a great comfort to
you, and he will not lose his reward.
"I am anxious, my dearest father, to know the particulars of my
mother's death: who attended her in her illness? was the nurse who was
with her a good woman? was she sensible? did she expect death? and did
she mention me, and leave me her blessing? My dear, dear father, tell
me all.
"Farewell, my beloved father; may your God and Redeemer be your
support and final portion, is the prayer of your affectionate
daughter,
"I. GRAHAM."
In her grief for the loss of her inestimable mother, Dr. Graham
had said to her that "God might perhaps call her to a severer trial by
taking her husband also," and the warning appeared prophetic; but her
own words best describe the emotions of her bleeding heart.
To Miss Margaret Graham, Glasgow.
"MY DEAR SISTER--Prepare yourself for a severe shock from an
event that has robbed me of every earthly joy. Your amiable brother is
no longer an inhabitant of this lower world. On the seventeenth of
November he was seized with a putrid fever, which, on the
twenty-second, numbered him with the dead, and left me a thing not to
be envied by the most abject beggar that crawls from door to door.
Expect not consolation from me: I neither can give nor take it. But
why say I so? _Yes, I can._ He died as a Christian, sensible to
the last, and in full expectation of his approaching end. O, you knew
not your brother's worth; you knew him not as a husband: he was not
the same as when you knew him in his giddy years: he was to me all
love, all affection, and partial to my every fault; prudent too in
providing for his family. I had gained such an entire ascendency over
his heart as I would not have given for the crown of Britain.
"On Wednesday, at one o'clock, the seventeenth day of November,
1773, my dear doctor was seized with a violent fever. I sent for his
assistant, Dr. Bowie: he not being at home, Dr. Muir came, who
prescribed an emetic in the evening, and his fever having greatly
abated, it was accordingly given. In the morning Dr. Bowie thought him
so well I did not ask for any other assistance. At ten o'clock his
fever greatly increased, though not so violent as it had been the day
before. He was advised to lose a little blood, which he did; and
towards evening it again abated.
"I found he was not quite satisfied with what had been done for
him; at the same time he would do nothing for himself. Thursday
evening I begged Dr. Bowie to call in Dr. Warner's assistance,
notwithstanding he assured me there was not one dangerous symptom.
Friday morning they both attended, and both pronounced him in a fair
way of recovery.
"About three o'clock Dr. Eird came, who seemed surprised the
thing had not been done which Dr. Graham himself had been dissatisfied
for the want of the day before. Soon after the medicine was sent; but
O, my dear doctor said it was then too late. In the evening they all
again attended, and insisted there was no danger. Saturday morning he
seemed very easy, and the physicians said he was in a fine way. The
fever was gone; the decoction of bark prescribed; and they said he
would be able to-morrow to take it in substance. I was not now the
least apprehensive of danger, and was very earnest in prayer that the
Lord would sanctify his affliction, and not suffer it to go off
without leaving a sensible effect on his mind. Nay, I even said in my
heart, 'the rod is too soon removed, it will do him no good.' Oh, that
fools will still persist to prescribe to infinite wisdom and goodness.
I was soon severely punished.
"About eleven he took the hiccup. I did not like it, but little
knew it was so dangerous a symptom as I afterwards understood. I sent
for Dr. Bowie, who assured me that though it was a disagreeable
symptom with other attendants, in his case it was of no more
consequence than if he or I were to take it. All that day it was so
moderate that a mouthful of any liquid stopped it, though it always
returned again: he often said it would be his death; but I imagined
the pain it gave him extorted these words from him rather than a sense
of danger, and was much pleased to hear him often pray that the Lord
would give him patience and resignation to his blessed will, and still
more to observe that he bore it with a patience beyond what was
natural to him. He was of a quick temper, and being of a healthy
constitution, was but little accustomed to pain; but, during the whole
of his severe and trying affliction, I do not remember to have heard a
murmuring word escape his lips; so that I cannot doubt but his prayers
were heard, and the grace prayed for bestowed. In the evening the
hiccup increased, and all that night it was very severe, so that he
could not bear to be any way disturbed, nor could I possibly prevail
upon him to take his medicine, from two in the morning until ten
o'clock, when the physicians again attended and persuaded him to
comply. This was Sunday. About mid-day Dr. Warner sent some old hock,
with orders that he should take some in his drink, and now and then a
little plain. When the wine was brought in and put on the table, he
asked me what it was. I told him. He said, 'Yes, they are now come to
the last shift.'
"Mr. Frank Gilbert, a good man, and, I believe, a real
Christian, having come to town to preach--for he is a Methodist
minister--sent a note, kindly inquiring after him, and intimating,
if it would be agreeable to him, he would visit him in the morning.
He said, by all means, he should be very glad to see him. I said,
'My love, you know I have great faith in the prayers of God's
people; suppose you should beg an interest in them this afternoon?'
He answered, 'My dear, do you think they will forget me?' I said,
'I hope, my love, you are not ashamed to desire the prayers of the
people of God; it is not now a time to mind the ridicule of the
world.' He said, 'No, Bell, I care not a farthing for the whole
world, and you may make it my own request.'
"His disorder gained ground very fast that day, and I began to be
much alarmed; yet still I thought it would not end in death, but
though severe and dangerous, was sent in answer to my repeated,
earnest prayers to awaken in him a real concern about his eternal
interest, to set the world and its vanities in their true light, and
bring about that entire change of heart which our blessed Lord styles
the new birth, and without which, he says, we cannot enter the kingdom
of heaven.
"It was now become very difficult for him to speak; but by the
motion of his hands and eyes, which were continually lifted up when he
had the smallest respite, I could easily see his thoughts were fixed
on the importance of his situation; besides, many sentences and half
sentences broke from his lips at different times, which left me
without a doubt. 'Farewell,' said he, 'vain world; an idle world it
is, nothing but shadows, and we keep chasing them as children do
bubbles of water, till they break, and we find them nothing but air.'
"Observing this inward recollection, I seldom disturbed him. He
was perfectly acquainted with the truth, and believed it. The
doctrines of religion were often the subject of our conversation, and
in every point of faith we entirely agreed: they only wanted to be
felt and applied to the heart. I remained in silence to my dear
husband, but not to my God: I was incessant in prayer, begging and
beseeching that the Lord himself would carry on what he had so
graciously begun--that he would every way suit himself to his
necessities, and give conviction or consolation, as he saw needful;
but when he spoke I endeavored to answer him from God's own word, as I
was able or assisted. Once he exclaimed, 'Draw me, and I will run
after thee;' at another time, 'Surely thou wilt not allow thy blessed
Son to plead in vain for me, an obstinate sinner.' This was a degree
of faith, and I endeavored to strengthen it. I said, 'My love, you
know the way to the Father, through Christ, the only Mediator. You say
right, he cannot plead in vain; fly to him; cast yourself at his feet;
trust in him; hear his own invitation, 'Come unto me, all ye that
labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest;' 'him that cometh
unto me I will in no wise cast out.' At another time these words broke
from his lips, 'Form me, train me, prepare me for thyself.' Here was a
breathing after sanctification; might not the promise be applied, 'I
will create a clean heart, and renew a right spirit within thee.'
"In the evening the physicians again attended, but could hardly
get a word from him. While they sat by the bedside I went out to the
gallery with Mrs. Grandidier; the apparent struggle she had to conceal
her distress, the compassion and sympathy in her countenance struck
me. I easily perceived she gave up hope, and, I began to suspect, not
from her own judgment alone; she advised me to send away my children
to a friend's house, and to send for a person who was capable of
assisting me, it being no longer proper for me to be alone. Thus far I
had not allowed any person to do the least thing about him but myself,
nor stirred from his bedside, except for a few minutes, to pour out my
soul into the bosom of my God. I hardly, if ever, prayed for his
recovery, being willing the rod should remain till it effected the
purpose for which it was sent, and then I believed it would be
removed--as if the Lord was to follow exactly the rules prescribed by
my weak, foolish, ignorant heart.
"Hitherto I had suffered little, believing all to be the answer
to my prayers; but I had not seriously thought of parting with him. I
was now truly alarmed, and determined to know, as far as appearances
went, the worst. Accordingly I stopped Dr. Bowie on the gallery: 'Tell
me, doctor,' said I, 'what have I to expect? It is cruel to flatter
me: if you give me some warning, and prepare me, I may perhaps be able
to support it; but if you suffer it to come upon me all at once, I
shall certainly sink under the shock.' He was silent for some time,
and then replied, 'I am really at a loss how to answer you.' I said,
'I will answer for you, there is no hope.' He said, 'God forbid--he is
in great danger; but still there is hope; and if you value his life,
be calm.' I was composed. Strange composure; I neither cried nor
complained; tears were denied a passage; I was fixed and dumb like a
statue. Can I, or any one else, describe my situation, or what I felt
at that moment? It was urged of what consequence it was that I should
be composed, that I might be able to do my duty to him, as no one
could supply my place to his satisfaction, and perhaps even now he
might be in want of me. I returned to my post, which was, except when
doing some necessary office about him, generally on my knees by his
bedside, partly that I might not lose the least whisper that came from
his lips, and partly because it is my favorite posture for prayer,
from which I could not cease, no, not for one minute.
"There were different medicines prescribed for that night, some
in case that others proved too strong for his stomach, others in case
of the increase of the hiccup. I found my head confused and my memory
incapable of retaining the variety of directions given. I therefore
accepted of the offer of a friend of his to sit up with us that night,
whom I begged to pay particular attention to the directions, and to
watch the proper times the medicines were to be given. This he did
with great care, and my dear doctor was very pliable in taking them as
they were offered. As for me I was so deeply engaged with the concerns
of his soul, I was unfit for any thing else.
"After Dr. Bowie let me know the danger he was in, I sent a
letter to Mr. Gilbert, begging he would not delay his visit till
morning, as perhaps by that time he might not be able to speak to him.
Accordingly he came; he asked him how he did; he answered, 'Very ill;'
he asked him the situation of his mind; he answered, 'Entirely
resigned to the divine will;' he asked him what hopes he had; he said,
'his hope was in the mercy of God, through Christ;' Mr. Gilbert said,
'You have no dependence on any thing besides?' he said, 'No, no, I
have nothing else to depend upon.' Then the doctor desired him to
pray, but at the same time to be short, as he had but short intervals
from the hiccup. After prayer, Mr. Gilbert told me it seemed difficult
for him to speak, and he did not think it would be prudent to say
more; that he would call again in the morning.
"Monday morning he was greatly weakened, having had little rest
all night from the severity of the hiccup. At ten o'clock the
physicians again attended; but I could easily perceive they had but
small hopes. My doctor asked Dr. Warner if he thought it would be long
before he would be at rest, who said his pulse was still strong. He
said, 'It is a hard thing to die!" Mrs. Brannan came to spend the day
with us, one of the Methodist society, and Mr. McNab, whom my doctor
desired to pray with him, which he did. All this day he said little,
but still continued in inward prayer, as was visible by the motions of
his hands and eyes; he had many agonizing struggles, and often
exclaimed, 'Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.' 'Blessed Jesus, come and
receive me to thyself--come--come--blessed Jesus, come!' Once, after a
long struggle, he exclaimed, 'Release me, O release me, and let me fly
to the bosom of my Father!' All this time I never parted from his
bedside but a few minutes to give my soul a freer vent at the throne
of grace. I never prayed for life, but that he might be washed,
sanctified, and have all God's salvation completed in his soul, and be
received into the arms of his mercy. I also had been, and still was,
very importunate that God would give me some token, some assurance
that he would save his soul, and give him an abundant entrance into
the kingdom of his glory; and, by all that I had heard, seen, and
felt, I was now satisfied that the most merciful God had sealed his
pardon for Jesus' sake; and I found myself ready, dearly as I loved
him, to resign him into the hands of divine mercy; but still I
breathed after some further manifestation.
"In the evening Dr. Galloway, an old acquaintance, arrived from
the island of Dominico, and hearing of his friend's illness, came
immediately to visit him. When my doctor heard his voice only whisper
how he was, he said, 'I hear Galloway's voice,' and stretched out his
hand; so fully had he his senses to the last. Upon their feeling his
pulse, he asked if they thought he would be long in dying. Dr. Eird
replied, 'You must not talk of dying, but of living; you are stronger
than when I was here this morning, and I have seen many worse recover.
Do, do be advised, take your medicine, and try for life.' These words
brought a gleam of hope to my despairing soul, and what had been
denied me for twenty-four hours, a flood of tears, and I was greatly
relieved. I went out to the gallery and gave a free vent to my
bursting heart. I now also begged the Lord for his life, and said in
my heart, should he now be restored, how doubly blessed would he be,
healed in soul and body. I returned to his bedside and thus addressed
my beloved: 'My dearest life, the doctors still have hopes, and we
know nothing is impossible with God. Who knows what further service he
may have for you in this world; or whether he may not give you to my
prayers, and restore you to your Bell and family? God works by means;
O be persuaded to take every thing prescribed, and pray to God for the
blessing; devote your future life to his service, and, for poor Bell's
sake, offer up a petition for life.' He did not interrupt me, but
answered, 'Disengage yourself, Bell, disengage yourself from me. I
want to lift up my soul to God, and bless him for Jesus Christ.'
"Dr. Galloway was determined to stay with him all night, and see
him take his medicine. Some time after, he had a severe attack of
hiccup, and said to Dr. Galloway, 'I hope you are now convinced.' He
said, 'Of what?' My doctor said, 'That dissolution is near.' A little
after, he said, 'Who died for all?' and again repeated, 'Who died for
all?' I was forbid to speak to him, as rest was so much wanted, so I
answered, 'Christ, my love; but give up your soul to God, and try to
shut your weary eyes, and get a little rest for your body;' and so he
did, and got a little sleep. All that night he did every thing he was
desired, but would drink nothing but cold water, which had been
allowed him; the wine he would not touch. His disorder increased so
fast that Dr. Galloway, about five in the morning, said to me, 'I may
go home--I can be of no service, and I cannot stand it.' I said, 'I
suppose I need not disturb him any more with medicine.' He said, 'No,
you may give him what he calls for.' Now, my God, all is over; I
resign him up to thee. Only one parting word--something yet I require,
to assure my heart that thou wilt receive his soul. Some time after he
laid his hand upon Mrs. Brannan's lap and made a sign to her;
afterwards he made a sign to me, who was at the back of the bed, to
come round. Mrs. Brannan thought he wanted her to retire, which she
did. He looked after her. I said, 'My love, she thinks you want to say
something to me; can you speak?' He said, 'Join--pray,' which we did.
He spoke no more for some time, only, 'Come, sweet Jesus,' and
frequently, 'Receive my spirit.' These words were given for my sake. I
cried, 'I am satisfied, Lord, and I yield him up to thee with all my
heart; thou hast given me all my asking. I will not be longer
faithless, but believing. Continue to support his departing soul, and
let the enemy find nothing in him.'
"The next attack of hiccup laid him back speechless, and I
believe senseless in the last parting work: he had no further
struggle, nor need of any person to support him. I therefore again
placed myself on my knees by his bedside, determined not to quit the
posture till his soul had entered its rest; but nature was worn out,
and though I swallowed hartshorn and water in great quantities, I was
so overcome that I was obliged to lie down at the back of the bed to
save me from fainting. Three hours did he continue in this last work
of the heart. I watched his last, and delivered him up with a hearty
prayer and a full assurance; but O, how earnestly I wished to go with
him! I was, for the time, entirely insensible to my own loss: my soul
pursued him into the invisible world, and for the time cordially
rejoiced with the Spirit. I thought I saw the angel band ready to
receive him, among whom stood my dear mother, the first to bid him
welcome to the regions of bliss.
"I was then desired to leave the room, which I did, saying, 'My
doctor is gone. I have accompanied him to the gates of heaven: he is
safely landed; that is now not him that lies there. You, nurse, will
see it decently dressed; then I may again be permitted to take another
parting kiss.' So, embracing the precious clay, I went into the
parlor. Some friends came in to see me. My composure they could not
account for: our sincere and tender regard for each other was too well
known to allow them to impute it to indifference. My distress at
parting with him, even for a couple of months, when he went to St.
Vincent, and dejection of spirit the whole time till his return, left
them as little room to impute it to want of sensibility: at last they
imagined that I was stupefied with grief and fatigue; but they little
knew that at that hour I rejoiced; indeed I told them, but I suppose
was not believed. I was asked if I had any thing particular to say
respecting the funeral. I said, 'Nothing--my charge is gone to rest; I
would leave it to them.' It was then proposed to bury next day at ten
o'clock. I said that was very early; they answered, by that time I
would be satisfied it was not too early.
"In the evening I returned to our bed-chamber to take a last
farewell of the dear remains. The countenance was so very pleasant I
thought there was even something heavenly, and could not help saying,
'You smile upon me, my love; surely the delightful prospect opening on
the parting soul left that benign smile on its companion the body.' I
thought I could have stood and gazed for ever; but for fear of
relapsing into immoderate grief, I withdrew after a parting embrace,
and with an intention not to ask for another, lest a change in his
countenance might shake my peace; for Oh, we are weak, and at certain
times not subject to reason. I went to bed purely to get alone, for I
had little expectation of sleep; but I was mistaken; nature was fairly
overcome with watching and fatigue. I dropped asleep, and for a few
hours forgot my woes; but Oh; the pangs I felt on my first awaking. I
could not for some time believe it true that I was indeed a widow, and
that I had lost my heart's treasure--my all I held dear on earth. It
was long before day. I was in no danger of closing my eyes again, for
I was at that time abandoned to despair, till recollection and the
same considerations which at first supported me brought me a little to
myself. I considered, I wept for one that wept no more; that all my
fears for his eternal happiness were now over, and he beyond the reach
of being lost; neither was he lost to me, but added to my heavenly
treasure, more securely mine than ever. Those snares and temptations
arising from the corrupt customs of a degenerate age, which had so
often caused my fears, could never reach him there. The better, dearer
half of myself was now secure beyond the possibility of falling, and
waiting my arrival to complete his bliss. O happy hour, which shall
also set my soul at liberty, and unite us, never to part more.
"In the morning I asked the nurse if there was any alteration;
she said, no. I again returned to take another view, and was surprised
to find his color and countenance unchanged. I began to be extremely
uneasy at having consented to so early a burial. I returned again, and
again; O, how I wished to have kept him for ever. Ten o'clock came;
the company assembled; I became very uneasy; at last I discovered it
to Dr. Bowie, begged he would only view him; how fresh the color--how
every way like life. He assured me there was not the smallest doubt
but that he was gone. I was not satisfied with this, but made them all
inspect him. All agreed in the same thing, and I was obliged to yield,
and the dear remains were ravished from my sight. What a night I
passed the night after the funeral! I had ordered our own bed to be
made up, and at the usual time retired; but in vain did I try to
sleep; the moment my senses began to lose sensibility, I was in a kind
of dream. Finding myself alone, I imagined he was out at supper,
though he seldom was without me; now I thought I heard his foot on the
stairs, and started up to listen if it were he, and to bid him
welcome, when my roused senses told me what I could still hardly
credit, that I had no husband to expect, and threw me into a fresh
agony, which kept me awake till I had in some measure again reconciled
myself to my solitary situation. But having only slept a few hours
since my dear doctor was taken ill, I no sooner got my mind a little
composed, than sleep again began to overpower my senses, when the
same, or a similar imagination roused me.
"The morning came. When I was called down to breakfast, the sight
of his empty seat distracted me. I returned to my room, though I
thought it my duty to take some nourishment. I had it brought to me.
Alas, I could nowhere turn my eyes but the sight was connected with
this dear idea, and recalled past delights, never more to return. Our
back windows looked into the garden, on which he had bestowed so much
labor and pains, and which he was just bringing to perfection. Here we
had spent many pleasant hours together, and indulged that freedom of
conversation, the natural consequence of an unbounded confidence. The
double arbor he had reared, and so contrived as to screen from both
the south and the western sun, bid fair, in a short time, to screen us
also from every eye. Hitherto we had been confined to morning hours,
or afternoon, when it was shaded by the house; but had often pleased
ourselves with the hours we should spend in this cool retreat, even at
noonday, while, screened from the sun's scorching rays, we might enjoy
the refreshing breeze through its leafy openings; but these delightful
prospects were now for ever at an end. I might, indeed, there take my
seat; but the tongue which everywhere charmed, was buried in deepest
silence. The company which rendered every scene pleasant was gone,
never to return: his sheep, his goats, nay, even the poultry, were
often fed from his hand: every thing served to distract. As for my
children, they were by kind friends kept for some time out of my
sight; for not only to view them fatherless distressed me, but their
thoughtless mirth and play was altogether insupportable.
"I accepted an invitation from Mr. Gilbert's family to spend some
time in the country with them; for though it was impossible for me to
forget for one moment, yet, when these objects were removed from my
sight, I was more able to turn my thoughts upward, to where my heart's
treasure now is, and where I myself expect to be. We had two
men-servants, and my two Indian girls; one of the men I dismissed, the
other I left to take care of the living creatures about the place. One
of my girls I boarded where she would be in good company, and with my
children and their maid I abandoned my solitary dwelling. I met with a
very tender reception from that worthy family. My situation here was
such as I both expected and wished, and attended with many outward
circumstances which had the probability of making it supportable. I
was allowed to be as much by myself as I chose. No one intruded on my
privacy without my consent; but one or other of the Mrs. Gilberts
often visited me in my own room, and drew from my bursting heart all
its griefs, sympathizing, soothing, and advising at the same time.
They are both women of great piety, having for many years devoted
their hearts, time, talents, and fortune to the service of God; and
their two husbands likewise, whose business it has been to instruct
the ignorant negroes without fee or reward. Had it not been for this
family, I know not where the distraction of my mind might have
ended." * * * *
Thus was Mrs. Graham, at the early age of thirty-one, left a
widow in a land of strangers. Her husband, companion, protector, was
gone: a man of superior mind, great taste, warm affection, and
domestic habits. She was left with three daughters, the eldest of whom
was not over five years of age, and expecting an increase of her
infant charge. Of temporal property she possessed very little: she was
at a distance from her father's house: the widow and the fatherless
were in a foreign land. The change in her circumstances was as sudden
as it was great.
That sympathizing heart with which she was accustomed to receive
and return the confidence of unbounded friendship, and thus, by
reciprocal communion, to alleviate the trials and enrich the
enjoyments of life, was chilled in death. All the pleasing plans, all
the cherished prospects of future settlement in life were cut off in a
moment. While sinking into a softened indifference to the world, in
the contemplation of her severe loss, she was, on the other hand,
roused into exertion for the sustenance and support of her young
family, whose earthly dependence was now necessarily upon her.
Not satisfied with the custom of the island, in burying so soon
after life is extinct, her uneasiness became so great that her friends
judged it prudent to have her husband's grave opened, to convince her
that no symptoms of returning life had been exhibited there. The
fidelity of her heart was now as strongly marked as her tenderness.
She dressed herself in the habiliments of a widow, and determined
never to lay them aside. This she strictly adhered to, and rejected
every overture afterwards made to her of again entering into the
married state. She breathed the feelings of her heart in a little
poem, in which she dedicated herself to her God as a widow indeed.
On examining into the state of her husband's affairs, she
discovered that there remained not quite two hundred pounds sterling
in his agent's hands.
These circumstances afforded an opportunity for the display of
the purity of Mrs. Graham's principles, and her rigid adherence to the
commandments of her God in every situation.
It was proposed to her, and urged with much argument, to sell the
two Indian girls, her late husband's property; but no considerations
of interest or necessity could prevail upon her thus to dispose of
immortal beings, the work of her heavenly Father's hand. One of these
girls accompanied her to Scotland, where she was married; and the
other died in Antigua, leaving an affectionate testimony to the
kindness of her dear master and mistress.
The surgeon's mate of the regiment was a young man whom Dr.
Graham had early taken under his patronage. The kindness of his patron
had so far favored him with a medical education, that he was enabled
to succeed him as surgeon to the regiment.
Notwithstanding the slender finances of Mrs. Graham, feeling for
the situation of Dr. H----, she presented to him her husband's medical
library and his sword: a rare instance of disinterested regard for the
welfare of another.
This was an effort towards observing the second table of the law,
in doing which she was actuated likewise by that principle which flows
from keeping the first table also. Nor was the friendship of Dr. and
Mrs. Graham misplaced. The seeds of gratitude were sown in an upright
heart. Dr. H----, from year to year, manifested his sense of
obligation, by remitting to the widow such sums of money as he could
afford. This was a reciprocity of kind offices, equally honorable to
the benefactors and to them who received the benefit: an instance,
alas, too rarely met with in a selfish world.
It may here be remarked, in order to show how much temporal
supplies are under the direction of a special providence, that Dr.
H----'s remittances and friendly letters were occasionally received by
Mrs. Graham until the year 1795; after this period her circumstances
were so favorably altered as to render such aid unnecessary; and from
that time she heard no more from Dr. H----, neither could she learn
what was his subsequent history.
It may be profitable here to look at Mrs. Graham, contrasted with
those around her whose condition in the world was prosperous. Many
persons then in Antigua were busy and successful in the accumulation
of wealth, to the exclusion of every thought tending to holiness, to
God, and to heaven. The portion which they desired they possessed.
What then? They are since gone to another world. The magic of the
words, "my property," "an independent fortune," has been dispelled;
and that for which they toiled, and in which they gloried, has since
passed into a hundred hands; the illusion is vanished, and unless they
made their peace with God through the blood of the cross, they left
this world, and alas, found no heaven before them. But amidst apparent
affliction and outward distress, God was preparing the heart of this
widow, by the discipline of his covenant, for future usefulness--to be
a blessing, probably to thousands of her race, and to enter finally on
that "rest which remaineth for the people of God."
Her temporal support was not, in her esteem, "an independent
fortune," but a life of dependence on the care of her heavenly Father:
she had more delight in suffering and doing his will, than in all
riches. "The secret of the Lord is with them that fear him, and he
will show them his covenant." To those who walk with God, he will show
the way in which they should go, and their experience will assure them
that he directs their paths. "Bread shall be given them, and their
water shall be sure." She passed through many trials of a temporal
nature, but she was comforted of her God through them all; and at last
was put in possession of an eternal treasure in heaven, "where neither
moth nor rust doth corrupt, nor thieves break through and steal." May
this contrast be solemnly examined, and the example of this child of
God made a blessing to many.
In anticipation of her approaching trial, with which her own life
might be suddenly terminated, Mrs. Graham _set her house in
order_, and wrote the two following letters: one to her friend Mrs.
Grandidier, to whom and her husband Capt. Grandidier, she committed
the charge of her family and affairs; the other to her father in
Scotland, commending her children to his protection. Her tender and
affectionate appeals to each of them in respect to their own eternal
welfare, are a beautiful specimen of that Christian fidelity and love
of the souls of men which so strongly characterized her future life.
"ST. JOHNS, Antigua, 1774.
"MY DEAR MRS. GRANDIDIER--The long and steady friendship which
has subsisted between us, in sickness and in health, in prosperity and
adversity, ever the same, without change or diminution, leaves me no
room to doubt that it will extend to my little family, and that you
will be as ready, to the utmost of your power, to befriend them, as
you have been to the dear father already gone, and your friend, who
is, perhaps, about to follow.
"If it should please God to take me away in my approaching
confinement, I leave you and Capt. Grandidier full power to dispose of
every thing in this house, and belonging to me in this island, as you
shall think most for the advantage of my little family. You know my
extreme tenderness for their dear father made me unable to part with
any of his clothes, but these can be of no consequence to me when I
shall again have joined him for whose sake I kept them; you may
therefore dispose of them, and also of my own, if you think the avails
will be of more service to the children. But I do not choose to leave
any particular directions about my trifling effects; you will consult
with other friends, and I am certain you will act for them to the best
of your judgment. It is a great relief to my mind that I have such
steady and tried friends to leave the charge of them upon. Miss
G. B---- has promised to take J----, and it is my desire that the
others, and the infant yet unborn, if it survive, be sent to my
father, where I will leave them to be disposed of and provided for by
that God who has fed me all my life, by their heavenly Father, who has
commanded me to leave my fatherless children upon him, that he will
preserve them alive, and whose promise I have, that he will never
leave them nor forsake them.
"Mr. Reid will not be less kind to the offspring of his friend
when they have lost, than when they were under a mother's protection.
May the blessing of the widow and the fatherless follow him wherever
he goes, and may God recompense him a thousand-fold in blessings
spiritual and temporal. Let Diana* be sent with my children; if
there be an infant, you know a nurse must be found for it, whatever it
cost. As for Susan,* I am at a loss what to do with her; my heart
tells me I have no right to entail slavery upon her and her offspring;
I know I shall be blamed, but I am about to be called to account by a
higher power than any in this world for my conduct, and I dare not
allow her to be sold. I therefore leave it to herself either to remain
here, or if it be her desire, to accompany the children. I beg Mr.
Reid will be kind enough to allow her a passage with the rest.
*The two Indian girls.
"And now, my dear friend, as the greatest happiness I can wish
you, may that God whom I have chosen as my own portion, be yours also;
may he, by his outward providence and by the inward operations of his
Spirit on your heart, lead you to himself and convince you of the
truth. But O, my dear friend, shut not your eyes and ears against
conviction. You are not satisfied that the Bible is indeed the word of
God. Is it not worth inquiring into? What would you think of a man who
had a large fortune, and the whole depending on proving some certain
facts, and yet would not be at the pains to inform himself? Are the
interests of this world of such importance, which in a few fleeting
years we must leave and have done with for ever, and our final state
in the next, which is to fix us in happiness or misery through the
endless days of eternity, not worth a thought? Think then, and
seriously ask, 'What if it be so? What if this be indeed the word of
God given by inspiration, for the rule of both our faith and manners,
and by which we are to be judged? What if this same God, who so kindly
reveals his will to men, has with it given the clearest evidences and
strongest proofs that it is his own word?' Think, I say, my dear
friend, if it should be so, what they deserve who either reject or
neglect it without taking the trouble to inform themselves, or to be
convinced that it either is or is not of divine authority.
"How many great, learned, and wise men have sifted these
evidences with the greatest care, and the deeper they entered into the
search, the more clear they appeared, even those whose lives are
entirely contrary to it, and whose interest it is to wish it false,
cannot deny. As to the various explanations of it, it is every one's
duty to read for himself, and although there may be some parts of it
too deep for every capacity, and which may perhaps require a knowledge
of the history of the times to understand, yet the simple truths of
the gospel, what we are to believe concerning God, and what duties he
requires of us, and what he forbids, are equally plain and easy. If we
can only once be satisfied that it is indeed the word of God, set
ourselves to study it with an unprejudiced mind, with a sincere desire
to know the truth and be led by it, with earnest prayer that the same
Spirit which inspired the writers would make it plain to our hearts
and understandings, that God himself would teach us its true meaning,
and save us from error, we shall, I venture to say, be taught all
necessary knowledge, and be led in the way to eternal life, and not
suffered to err: we have God's promise that it shall be so. 'If any
man will do His will, he shall know of the doctrine whether it be of
God.'
"Forgive me, my dear friend; the subject appears to me so
important that I know not how to have done. I love you with a true
and sincere friendship: I love your soul, and am deeply interested
in its eternal happiness. Once more I commit you to that God, who
only can lead you to himself and to true happiness; and that you may
know the truth of this from deep experience, to the eternal joy,
peace, and safety of your immortal soul, is the last prayer of your
affectionate friend, who hopes to meet and rejoice with you in our
Redeemer's kingdom.
"ISABELLA GRAHAM."
Mrs. Graham to her Father.
"ANTIGUA, May, 1774.
"MY EVER-DEAR FATHER--If this ever reach you, it will be when I
have taken my final leave of this world, and received my portion for
eternity in the next, when I hope I shall have gained the summit of my
wishes, and be happy in the society of my dear husband and much-loved
mother, in the kingdom of our Redeemer.
"My truly orphan children I have desired to be sent to you;
though I see no visible way you have to provide for them, yet I am
perfectly easy concerning them. I leave them upon that God who has fed
me all my life, and whose tender care I have experienced in a thousand
dangers--upon their and my heavenly Father, who has commanded me to
leave my fatherless children upon him, and he will preserve them
alive. The God of providence will prepare for them a home, and raise
up friends, perhaps from a quarter neither you nor I could expect.
"My only concern and prayer to God for them is, that they may be
early taught to love God and serve him--that they may fall into such
hands as will carefully instruct them in the principles of morality
and religion, and teach them the great, but too little thought of
truth, that our chief business in life is to prepare for death. As to
the polite parts of education, I look upon them as of no consequence;
they may be as good Christians, perhaps better, without than with
them; the perfection of their nature no way depends upon them. I am
equally indifferent what station of life they may occupy, whether they
swim in affluence or earn their daily bread, if they only act their
part properly, and obtain the approbation of their God in that station
wherein he in his infinite wisdom sees fit to place them.
"Remember to give my love to all my dear children. I reckon all
that sprung from my dear doctor mine; and though I did not suffer a
mother's pangs for them, Heaven knows how equally I love them with
those who cost me dearer. Tell them I leave them a mother's blessing;
and my last prayers, if it please God to continue my senses, shall be
for their best interests.
"And now, my dear father, suffer one parting word, though from
one no way entitled to advise: this is the third loud call for you to
be also ready; according to the course of nature, you must very
shortly follow; you can have very little more to do in this world, and
therefore the smallest share of your attention is due to it. The
young, the gay, the giddy, and thoughtless hold it a wise maxim to
forget their departed friends as soon as possible; this may be
worldly, but it cannot be heavenly wisdom. To be fully and entirely
resigned to the will of God in all things, is certainly the
characteristic of a Christian; but this is perfectly consistent with
the most tender remembrance. That resignation--but indeed it deserves
not the name--which consists in forgetfulness, in banishing thought
and drowning reflection in worldly cares and amusements, can be no
grateful offering to Him who has commanded us to have our loins girt
and our lamps trimmed, and to be always ready, for in such an hour as
we think not 'the Son of man cometh.' How often are we commanded to
watch, to set our affections on things above, to be dead to the world,
to lay up treasure for ourselves in heaven. These injunctions are
inconsistent with forgetfulness; and if it be our duty to meditate on
death and eternity, nothing more naturally leads our minds to that
subject than the recollection of departed friends, who, if pious, are
not lost, but only gone a little while before, taken from our earthly
and added to our heavenly treasure.
"Believe me, my dear father, to a mind abstracted from the world
and devoted to God, death, though solemn, has nothing dreadful in it;
on the contrary, to a mind rightly disposed it is rather a desirable
object. Just conceptions of God, and converse with him, will very soon
change the aspect of the king of terrors to a welcome messenger, who
comes to set open the gates of immortality, and to usher us into the
kingdom of our heavenly Father. And now may our most gracious God
grant you, through your few remaining days, his direction and
consolation; may he bestow upon you that peace which the world can
neither give nor take away; and when the appointed time of your change
shall come, may the comforts of his Holy Spirit so cheer and refresh
your soul, that you may be able, without a doubt or a fear, to resign
it into the hands of your Redeemer.
"Give my love to Hugh. The sentiments expressed in his letters
bespeak him a worthy brother, and deserving of my highest esteem. I
would have written to him, but I have still some directions to commit
to writing concerning my little family, and my hour is at hand; but
tell him I will remember him in my last prayers. I charge him not to
banish the idea of his worthy and now glorified mother, lest with that
he also forget her precepts; but prepare to meet us who are gone
before; and O, that our meeting may be with joy on both sides. It is
hard for youth, in the present age, to follow our Christian pattern.
Every real Christian, every Bible Christian, must lay his account with
being branded with the name of enthusiast; but tell him to remember
that the opinion of the world cannot alter the nature of holiness, nor
the maxims of Christ. Let him read, think, and judge for himself with
an unprejudiced mind; with a hearty desire to know and be led by the
truth; to be taught of God, and conformed to his will in all things,
and I venture to promise he will not be suffered to err. But let him
avoid disputes about religion, they are seldom productive of any good;
let him fortify his mind against banter and ridicule, it is no small
degree of persecution. Yet, if he be determined to follow his Lord, he
must expect to meet with it, and I know from experience it is hard to
bear. I have found the safest way is to receive it in silence; for
those who are disposed to ridicule the appearance of religion in
another, are not in a fit disposition to be convinced by any argument,
at least at that time, and few can dispute without heat, which is a
transgression against the virtue of meekness, and very apt to lessen
our love to the person who opposes us. We lose the spirit of brotherly
love in hot-headed zeal, which perhaps deserves a harder name, but
conceals itself under that appearance; and it is no small victory
gained over ourselves if we are able to love, wish well to, and be
ready to serve those whose sentiments differ from ours.
"I leave you and yours, and mine, upon the Fountain of all
goodness, and may the peace of God, which passeth all understanding,
keep your hearts and minds in the knowledge and love of God, and of
his Son Jesus Christ our Lord; and the blessing of God Almighty, the
Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, be among you, and remain with you
always. Amen.
"Your ever dutiful and affectionate daughter,
"ISABELLA GRAHAM."
It pleased God to preserve the life of Mrs. Graham, and to make
her the grateful mother of a son, whom she called after the name of
his father, and endeavored, in humble trust, to consecrate to the
Author of his being.
Having now no object to induce her to stay longer at Antigua, she
disposed of her slender property, and placing her money in the hands
of Major Brown, requested him to take a passage for herself and
family, and to lay in their sea-stores. After seeing a railing placed
around the grave of her beloved husband, that his remains might not be
disturbed until mingled with their kindred dust, she bade adieu to her
kind friends, and with a sorrowful heart turned her face towards her
native land.
CHAPTER III.
RETURN TO SCOTLAND--SCHOOL IN EDINBURGH.
No ship offering at this time from Antigua for Scotland, Mrs.
Graham embarked with her family in one bound to Belfast, Ireland.
Major Brown and his brother officers saw her safely out to sea; and he
gave her a letter to a gentleman in Belfast, containing, as he said, a
bill for the balance of the money she had deposited with him. After a
stormy and trying voyage, she arrived in safety at her destined port.
The correspondent in Ireland of Major Brown delivered her a letter
from that officer expressive of esteem and affection, and stating that
as a proof of respect for the memory of their deceased friend, he and
his brother officers had taken the liberty of defraying the expenses
of her voyage.
Consequently the bill he had given was for the full amount of her
original deposit; and thus, like the brethren of Joseph, _she found
all her money in the sack's mouth._ Being a stranger in Ireland,
without a friend to look out for a proper vessel in which to embark
for Scotland, she and her children went passengers in a packet; on
board of which, as she afterwards learned, there was not even a
compass. A storm arose and they were tossed to and fro for nine hours
in imminent danger. The rudder and the mast were carried away; every
thing on deck thrown overboard; and at length the vessel struck in the
night upon a rock, on the coast of Ayr, in Scotland. The greatest
confusion pervaded the passengers and crew. Among a number of young
students, going to the University at Edinburgh, some were swearing,
some praying, and all were in despair. The widow only remained
composed. With her babe in her arms she hushed her weeping family, and
told them that in a few minutes they should all go to join their
father in a better world. The passengers wrote their names in their
pocket-books, that their bodies might be recognized and reported for
the information of their friends. One young man came into the cabin,
asking, "Is there any peace here?" He was surprised to find a female
so tranquil; a short conversation soon evinced that religion was the
source of comfort and hope to them both in this perilous hour. He
engaged in prayer and then read the 107th Psalm. While repeating these
words, "he maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are
still," the vessel swung off the rock by the rising of the tide. She
had been dashing against it for an hour and a half, the sea making a
breach over her, so that the hold was now nearly filled with water.
Towards morning the storm subsided, and the vessel floated until she
rested on a sand-bank. Assistance was afforded from the shore, and the
shipwrecked company took shelter in a small inn, where the men seemed
anxious to drown the remembrance of danger in a bowl of punch. How
faithful a monitor is conscience! This voice is listened to in extreme
peril; but O, infatuated man, how anxious art thou to stifle the
warnings of wisdom in the hour of prosperity. Thousands of our race,
no doubt, delay their preparation for eternity until, by sudden death,
they have scarcely a moment left to perform this solemn work.
Mrs. Graham retired to a private room, to offer up thanksgiving
to God for his goodness, and to commend herself and her orphans to his
future care.
A gentleman from Ayr, hearing of the shipwreck, came down to
offer assistance; and in him Mrs. Graham was happy to recognize an
old friend. This gentleman paid her and her family much attention,
carrying them to his own house, and treating them with kindness
and hospitality.
In a day or two after this she reached Cartside, and entered her
father's dwelling; not the large ancient mansion in which she had left
him, but a thatched cottage, consisting of three apartments. Possessed
of a too easy temper and unsuspecting disposition, Mr. Marshall had
been induced to become security for some of his friends, whose failure
in business had reduced him to poverty. He now acted as factor of a
gentleman's estate in this neighborhood, of whose father he had been
the intimate friend, with a salary of twenty pounds sterling per annum
and the use of a small farm.
In a short time, however, his health failed, and he was deprived
of this scanty pittance, being incapable, as the proprietor was
pleased to think, of fulfilling the duties of factor.
Alive to every call of duty, Mrs. Graham now considered her
father as added, with her children, to the number of dependents on her
industry. She proved indeed a good daughter--faithful, affectionate,
and dutiful, she supported her father through his declining years; and
he died at her house, Feb. 13, 1783, aged 75, during her residence in
Edinburgh, surrounded by his daughter and her children, who tenderly
watched him during his last illness.
Having resided two years at Cartside, she removed to Paisley in
1778, where she taught a small school. The slender profits of such an
establishment, with a widow's pension of sixteen pounds sterling, were
the means of subsistence for herself and her family. When she first
returned to Cartside a few religious friends called to welcome her
home. The gay and wealthy part of her former acquaintances, who, like
the butterfly, spread their silken wings only to bask in the warmth of
a summer sun, found not their way to the lonely cottage of an
afflicted widow. Her worth, though in after-life rendered splendid by
its own fruits, was at this time hidden, excepting to those whose
reflection and wisdom had taught them to discern it more in the faith
and submission of the soul, than in the selfish and extravagant
exhibitions of that wealth bestowed by the bounty of Providence, but
expended too often for the purposes of vanity and dissipation.
In such circumstances, the Christian character of Mrs. Graham was
strongly marked. Sensible that her heavenly Father saw it good, at
this time, to depress her outward condition, full of filial
tenderness, and like a real child of God resigned to whatever should
appear to be his will, her conduct conformed to his dispensations.
With a cheerful heart, and in the hope of faith, she set herself to
walk down into the valley of humiliation, "leaning upon Jesus," as the
beloved of her soul. "I delight to do thy will, O my God, yea, thy law
is within my heart," was the spontaneous effusion of her genuine
faith. She received with affection the scriptural admonition, "Humble
yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt
you in due time; casting all your care upon him, for he careth
for you."
She laid aside her children's fine frocks, and clothed them in
homespun. At Cartside she sold the butter she made, and her children
were fed on the milk. It was her wish to eat her own bread, however
coarse, and to owe no person anything but love. At Paisley, for a
season, her breakfast and supper was porridge, and her dinner potatoes
and salt. Peace with God and a contented mind supplied the lack of
earthly prosperity, and she adverted to this her humble fare, to
comfort the hearts of suffering sisters, with whom she corresponded at
a later period of life, when in comfortable circumstances.
Meantime the Lord was not unmindful of his believing child; but
was preparing the minds of her friends for introducing her to a more
enlarged sphere of usefulness.
Her pious and attached friend, Mrs. Major Brown, had accompanied
her husband to Scotland, and they now resided on their estate in
Ayrshire. Mr. Peter Reid, a kind friend when in Antigua, was now a
merchant in London. This gentleman advised her to invest the little
money she had brought home--and which she had still preserved--in
muslins; which she could work into finer articles of dress, and he
would ship them in a vessel of his own/freight free, to be sold in the
West Indies. His object was partly to increase her little capital, and
partly to divert her mind from meditating so deeply on the loss of her
lamented husband. The plan so kindly proposed was soon adopted; the
muslin dresses were shipped; but she soon afterwards learned that the
ship was captured by the French. This was a severe loss, and more
deeply felt as it was received at the time when her father was
deprived of his office.
Mrs. Brown, after consulting with the Rev. Mr. Randall of
Glasgow, the Rev. Mr. Ellis of Paisley, Lady Glenorchy and Mrs. Walker
of Edinburgh, proposed to Mrs. Graham to take charge of a
boarding-school in that metropolis.
The friends of religion were of opinion that such an
establishment, under the direction of one possessing the
qualifications of Mrs. Graham, would be of singular benefit to young
ladies destined for important stations in society. Her liberal
education, her acquaintance with life, and her humble yet ardent
piety, were considered peculiarly calculated to qualify her for so
important a trust.
Another friend had suggested to Mrs. Graham the propriety of
opening a boarding-house in Edinburgh, which he thought could, through
his influence, be easily filled by students.
She saw obstacles to both: a boarding-house did not appear
suitable, as her daughters would not be so likely to have the same
advantages of education as from a boarding-school; and to engage as an
instructress of youth on so large a scale, with so many competitors,
appeared for her an arduous undertaking.
In this perplexity, as in former trials, she fled to her unerring
counsellor the Lord, her covenant God. She set apart a day for fasting
and prayer. She spread her case before the Lord, earnestly beseeching
him to make his word "a light to her feet and a lamp to her path," and
"to lead her in the way in which she should go;" especially that she
might be directed to choose the path in which she could best promote
his glory and the highest interests of herself and her children. On
searching the Scriptures, her mind fastened on these words in John
21:15, "Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith
unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him,
Feed my lambs."
Never, perhaps, was this commandment applied with more filial
confidence, or accompanied with a richer blessing, since the days of
the apostle, than in the present instance.
Her determination was accordingly made. She resolved to undertake
the education of youth, trusting that her Lord would make her an
humble instrument of training some for his service on earth, and his
praises in heaven. Here was exhibited an instance of simple yet
powerful faith in a believer surrounded by temporal perplexities, and
of condescension and mercy on the part of a compassionate God. Light
unseen by mortal eyes descended on her path.
How weak, perhaps enthusiastic, would this have appeared to the
busy crowd, blind to the special providence exercised by the God of
heaven towards all his creatures. She felt the pressure of her
affliction; but, like the Psalmist, _gave herself unto prayer_:
"Prayer ardent opens heaven, lets down a stream
Of glory on the consecrated hour
Of man in audience with the Deity."
Though her faith was strong, yet her mind was under such
agitation, from her total want of funds to carry her plan into effect,
and from other conflicting exercises, as to throw her into a nervous
fever, which kept her confined to her bed for some weeks. On her
recovery, she felt it her duty to _go forward,_ trusting that He,
who had directed her path, would provide the means that were necessary
to enable her to walk in it: she sold her heavy furniture, packed up
all her remaining effects, and prepared to set out from Paisley for
Edinburgh on a Monday, in the year 1779.
On the Saturday previous she sat by her fire musing and wondering
in what manner the Lord would appear for her at this time, when a
letter was brought to her from Mr. Peter Reid, enclosing a sum of
money which he had recovered from the underwriters, on account of Mrs.
Graham's muslins captured on their passage to the West Indies. Mrs.
Graham had considered them as totally lost, but her friend had taken
the precaution to have them insured.
With this supply she was enabled to accomplish her object, and
arrived in Edinburgh with her family. Her friend Mrs. Brown met her
there, and stayed with her a few days, to comfort and patronize her in
her new undertaking. Mrs. Brown was her warm and constant friend until
her death, which occurred at Paisley in 1782, when she was attending
the communion. She bequeathed her daughter Mary to Mrs. Graham's care.
But in 1785 the daughter followed the mother, being cut off by a fever
in the twelfth year of her age.
It may be proper here to introduce the name of Mr. George
Anderson, a merchant in Glasgow, who had been an early and particular
friend of Dr. Graham. He kindly offered his friendly services, and the
use of his purse, to promote the welfare of the bereaved family of his
friend. Mrs. Graham occasionally drew upon both. The money she
borrowed she had the satisfaction of repaying with interest. A
correspondence was carried on between them after Mrs. Graham's removal
to America, until the death of Mr. Anderson, in 1802.
During her residence in Edinburgh she was honored with the
friendship and counsel of many persons of distinction and piety. The
Viscountess Glenorchy, Lady Boss Baillie, Lady Jane Belches, Mrs.
Walter Scott, mother of the poet, Mrs. Dr. Davidson, and Mrs.
Baillie Walker, were among her warm personal friends. The Rev. Dr.
Erskine, and Dr. Davidson, formerly the Rev. Mr. Randall of Glasgow,
and many respectable clergymen, were also her friends. She and her
family attended on the ministry of Dr. Davidson, an able,
evangelical, useful pastor.
Her school soon became respectable in numbers and character. Her
early and superior education now proved of essential service to her.
She was indefatigable in her attention to the instruction of her
pupils. While she was faithful in giving them those accomplishments
which were to qualify them for acting a distinguished part in this
world, she was also zealous in directing their attention to that
gospel by which they were instructed to obtain an inheritance in that
to come. She felt a high responsibility, and took a deep interest in
their temporal and spiritual welfare. As "a mother in Israel," she
wished to train them up in the ways of the Lord.
She prayed with them morning and evening; and on the Sabbath,
which she was careful to devote to its proper use, she took great
pains to imbue their minds with the truths of religion. Nor did she
labor in vain. Although she was often heard to lament of how little
use she had been compared with her opportunities of doing good, yet
when her children, Mr. and Mrs. B. visited Scotland in 1801, they
heard of many individuals, then pious and exemplary, who dated their
first religious impressions from those seasons of early instruction
which they enjoyed under Mrs. Graham while in Edinburgh.
Mrs. Graham's manner in the management of youth was peculiarly
happy. While she kept them diligent in their studies, and strictly
obedient to the laws she had established, she was endeared to them by
her tenderness; and the young ladies instructed in her school retained
for her in after-life a degree of filial affection which was expressed
on many affecting occasions. This was afterwards remarkably the case
with her pupils in America. Her little republic was completely
governed by a system of equitable laws. On every alleged offence, a
court-martial, as they termed it, was held, and the accused tried by
her peers. There were no arbitrary punishments, no sallies of
capricious passion. The laws were promulgated, and obedience was
indispensable; the sentences of the courts-martial were always
approved, and had a salutary effect. In short, there was a combination
of authority, decision, and tenderness in Mrs. Graham's government,
that rendered its subjects industrious, intelligent, circumspect, and
happy. She enjoyed their happiness; and in cases of sickness, she
watched over them with unremitting solicitude and care, sparing no
expense to promote their restoration to health.
A strong trait in her character was distinctly marked by her
educating the daughters of pious ministers at half price. This was
setting an example worthy of imitation. It was a conduct conformable
to scriptural precept. Said Paul, "If we have sown unto you spiritual
things, is it a great thing if we shall reap your carnal things? Do ye
not know that they which minister about holy things live of the things
of the temple? Even so hath the Lord ordained that they which preach
the gospel should live by the gospel."
Always conscientious in obeying the commandments of her God, she
observed them in this matter, giving, in her proportion, at least the
widow's mite.
By another plan, for she was ingenious in contrivances to do
good, she greatly assisted those in slender circumstances, especially
such as were of the household of faith. Believing that the use of sums
of ten, fifteen, or twenty pounds in hand would be serviceable by way
of capital to persons in a moderate business, she was in the habit of
making such advances, and taking back the value in articles they had
for sale. She charged no interest, being amply repaid in the luxury of
her own feelings, when she beheld the benefit it produced to her
humble friends. The board of her pupils being paid in advance, she was
enabled to adopt this plan with more facility. Were her spirit more
prevalent in the world, what good might be done. The heart would be
expanded, reciprocal confidence and affection cherished; and instead
of beholding worms of the dust fighting for particles of yellow sand,
we should behold a company of affectionate brethren leaning upon and
assisting each other through the wilderness of this world. "Look not
every man on his own things," said Paul, "but every man also on the
things of others. Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law
of Christ."
On the subject of promoting the external accomplishments of her
scholars, it became a question how far Mrs. Graham was to
countenance them in their attendance on public balls--to what length
it was proper for her to go so as to meet the received opinions of
the world in these concerns. She consulted with her pious friends,
and wrote to Lady Glenorchy on the subject. Her ladyship's letter in
reply is so excellent that the serious reader will be gratified with
its insertion.
"BARNTON, December 27, 1781.
"DEAR MADAM--I received your letter last week, and also one some
time ago from Mrs. Walker, in which she desired me to send you my
sentiments upon the alteration you had made, and still thought of
making, upon your plan.
"I have since endeavored to consider, with all the attention of
which I am _at present_ capable, the arguments that may be
brought on both sides of the question; and with regard to the first
point, the _practisings_, I will frankly own, that could you send
your young ladies to one where _girls only_ are admitted, I
should more readily yield my opinion of the matter to those Christians
who have advised you to it. But as I learn that it is a promiscuous
dance of boys and girls, I must in conscience say that I look upon
such a meeting to be as pernicious in its effects upon the minds of
young people, as balls and public assemblies on persons of riper
years. When you mentioned the subject to me first, I thought it had
been a practising of girls _only_, else I should then have given
you my sentiments fully upon that head.
"As to the _reading of plays_, or any part of them, to your
young people, I must own, it does not appear to me to be expedient; it
may be productive of bad consequences, and the _good_ arising
from it is, at most, uncertain. It is, no doubt, very desirable to
enlarge young people's minds and improve their taste as well as their
persons; but such is the state of things in this world, that to attain
this to the degree wished for by every person of refined taste, some
things must be sacrificed of much greater value: for example, a girl
cannot acquire the smart, polished air of a person of fashion, without
imbibing too much of the spirit of the world. _Vanity_ and
_emulation_ must be awakened and cultivated in the heart, before
she will apply herself with diligence to outward accomplishments; nor
can her mind and taste be much improved in _polite_ literature,
without losing its relish for simple truth. I grant you, there are a
few Christians in the world who have acquired the outward
accomplishments of it, and have, by grace, been enabled to turn these
to good account--who, like the Israelites, having spoiled the
Egyptians, have made use of _their_ jewels in adorning the
tabernacle; but this can never serve as an argument on your side of
the question. If the Lord sees fit to manifest his power and grace by
plucking a brand from the burning, this is no reason why children
should be initiated into the ways of sin and folly, in hopes that some
time or other he will bring them out. We are never to do evil that
good may come; and this brings the question to a short issue.
"Do you think it lawful for Christians to attend public places,
or to spend their time in reading plays? Do you think these things
tend, either immediately or remotely, to promote the glory of God? If
you do not, I cannot see how you, _as a Christian_, can have any
hand in introducing young ladies to the one or in giving them a taste
for the other.
"This, dear madam, is _my_ view of the matter; but I do not
wish _you_ to walk by _my_ light. I believe all the children of God
are _taught by him_, and ought to follow the dictates of their own
consciences: I therefore pretend not _to advise_ you, but shall
endeavor to _pray_ that the great _unerring_ Counsellor may give you
divine wisdom to be your teacher, to lead you into all truth, and to
keep you from every thing inconsistent with his holy will.
"I have met with so many interruptions since I began this letter,
that I fear that it is hardly intelligible. I shall be sorry if I have
said any thing that gives you uneasiness; your spirits seem low, and
your business does not succeed so well as could be wished: perhaps I
ought to have employed my pen in the way of consolation and
encouragement, than by throwing in fresh matter of perplexity. Sure I
am, I do not _mean_ to add affliction to the afflicted; but
rather have been impelled, from a regard to truth, to write my real
sentiments, as you desired.
"Your friend and humble servant,
"W. GLENORCHY."
In after-life, Mrs. Graham was of opinion that she and her
scholars had gone too far in conformity with the opinions and manners
of the world. A reference to this deviation from what she considered a
close Christian walk in life, will be frequently found in her
subsequent exercises.
Lady Glenorchy being in a delicate state of health, made frequent
use of Mrs. Graham as her almoner to the poor. On one of these visits,
Mrs. Graham called on a poor woman with a present of a new gown. "I am
obliged to you and her ladyship for your kindness," said the poor
woman rich in faith, "but I maun gang to the right airth first; ye wad
na hae come, gin ye had na been sent; the Lord hath left me lately wi'
but ae goon for week-day and Sabbath, but now he has sent you wi' a
Sabbath-day's goon." Meaning, in plain English, that her thankfulness
was first due to the God of providence, who had put it into the hearts
of his children to supply the wants of this poor disciple.
Mrs. Graham used to repeat with pleasure an anecdote of her
friends Mr. and Mrs. Douglas. Mr. Douglas was a tallow-chandler, and
furnished candles for Lady Glenorchy's chapel. The excise-tax was very
high on making those articles, and many persons of the trade were
accustomed to defraud the revenue by one stratagem or another.
Religious principle would not permit Mr. Douglas to do so. Mrs. Graham
one evening was remarking how handsomely the chapel was lighted. "Aye,
Mrs. Graham," said Mrs. Douglas, "and it is all pure--the light is all
pure, it burns bright." It would be well if Christians of every trade
and profession were to act in like manner; that the merchant should
have no hand in unlawfully secreting property, or encouraging perjury
to accumulate gains; that the man of great wealth should have neither
usury nor the shedding of blood by privateering to corrode his
treasures; that all should observe a just weight and a just measure in
their dealings, as in the presence of God. Let every Christian seek
after the consolation of Mrs. Douglas, that the light which refreshes
him may be pure.
It being stated as matter of regret, that poor people when sick
suffered greatly, although while in health their daily labor supported
them, Mrs. Graham suggested the idea of every poor person in the
neighborhood laying aside _one penny a week_ to form a fund for
relieving the contributors when in sickness. Mr. Douglas undertook the
formation of such an institution. It went for a long time under the
name of "The Penny Society." It afterwards received a more liberal
patronage, has now a handsome capital, and is called, "The Society for
the Relief of the Destitute Sick."
In July, 1786, Mrs. Graham attended the dying bed of her friend
and patroness Lady Glenorchy: this lady had shown her friendship in a
variety of ways during her valuable life; she had one of Mrs. Graham's
daughters for some time in her family, condescended herself to
instruct her, and sent her for a year to a French boarding-school in
Rotterdam. She defrayed all her expenses while there, and furnished
her with a liberal supply of pocket-money, that she might not see
distress without the power of relieving it. So much does a person's
conduct in maturer years depend upon the habits of early life, that it
is wise to accustom young people to feel for and to contribute in
their degree to the relief of the afflicted and the needy.
Lady Glenorchy was a character in whom was eminently displayed
the power of religion. Descended from an ancient family, married to
the eldest son of the Earl of Broadalbaine, beautiful and
accomplished, she was received into the first circles of society. With
her husband she made the tour of Europe, visiting the several courts
on that continent. Yet all these things she "counted but loss for the
excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus her Lord." She became a
widow while yet in the bloom of youth. She devoted herself to the
service of the Lord, and was made singularly useful. She kept a
regular account of her income, and of the different objects to which
it was applied. She built and supported several chapels in England,
and erected one in Edinburgh, in which pious ministers of different
denominations should be admitted to preach.
She also built a manufactory for the employment of the poor,
where the education of children was strictly attended to: even the
porters' lodges on each side of her gate were occupied as schools for
the neighboring poor. Her pleasure-grounds were thrown open for the
accommodation of the numbers who usually come from a distance to
attend a communion-season in Scotland. In a year of scarcity the same
grounds were planted with potatoes for the supply of the poor. She
distributed with great judgment various sums of money in aid of
families who were poor, yet deserving. She never encouraged idleness
or pride, and often remarked that it was better to assist people to do
well in the sphere which Providence had assigned them, than to attempt
to raise them beyond it. There was so much wisdom in the active
application of her charities, as to render them both efficient and
extensive. She seldom was seen in these works of beneficence; her
object was to do good: the gratitude of those on whom she bestowed
benefits was no part of her motive, or even of her calculation. What
she did she did unto God, and in obedience to his commands; her faith
and hope were in God.
She contributed largely to the public institutions established at
Edinburgh in her day. Of one or two of the most useful she was the
first to suggest the idea, always accompanying her recommendation with
a handsome donation to encourage the work.
The venerable Society for the Promotion of Christian Knowledge
and Piety shared largely her patronage; and at her death she
bequeathed them five thousand pounds.
She indulged the hope of seeing a union of exertion, among all
Christian denominations, for sending the gospel to the heathen. How
delighted would she have been with the missionary societies of
London and elsewhere, had her life been spared to behold their
extensive operations.
She sold her estate of Barnton that she might apply the money to
a more disinterested object than her personal accommodation, and that
her fortune might be expended with her life, "I recollect here," said
Saurin in one of his sermons, "an epitaph said to be engraven on the
tomb of Atolus of Rheims: _He exported his fortune before him into
heaven by his charities--he Has gone thither to enjoy it_."
This might be truly said of Lady Glenorchy. In her manner she
discovered great dignity of character tempered with the meekness and
benevolence of the gospel. Her family was arranged with much economy,
and a strict regard to moral and religious habits. She usually
supported some promising and pious young minister as her chaplain,
which served him as an introduction to respectability in the church.
With very few exceptions, all those who entered her family as servants
were in process of time brought under religious impressions. So far it
pleased the Lord to honor her pious endeavors to render her family one
of the dwellings of the God of Jacob.
Mrs. Graham had the honor of attending the death-bed, and of
closing the eyes of this distinguished child of God. It had been Lady
Glenorchy's express desire that Mrs. Graham should be sent for, if
within twenty miles of her, when such attendance should be necessary.
The following letter to a daughter, two months later, gives us
another illustration of the self-denial and anxiety for the salvation
of the soul, with which Mrs. Graham personally ministered to the needy
and the suffering, and how skilfully she improved these scenes for the
benefit of others.
"EDINBURGH, September, 1786.
"MY DEAR DAUGHTER--Such a scene as I have been witness to!--poor
M. B---- is gone to her last abode; her state is fixed for ever. I
attended her sick-bed for eight successive days and nights, except
perhaps for an hour that I lay down in the same room. I held by life
to the very last, because I feared she was not in a fit state to die.
"She took every medicine that was prescribed for her, which I
administered with my own hand; but the time appointed to end her
mortal state had arrived, and go she must. She lived four days after
the physicians had lost all hope, and I think I never witnessed
greater distress. I watched every word with anxious care to find if
any breath of prayer was to be heard; but alas, I had no such
satisfaction. As she was insensible after the first few days, it was
not to be expected she could either think or pray.
"O, why will sinners resist the grace of God, and spend the
precious time given to seek and find it in thoughtless folly? What can
they do, on such a bed of distress, who have no God? Time misspent and
gone--opportunities unimproved and gone--calls resisted never to be
repeated--death hunting the soul through every avenue of life--a
dreadful, unknown, unthought of eternity at hand--an awful Judge, and
no Advocate secured to plead. A time was when a kind Saviour was
expostulating with them: 'Why will you die?' 'Hear, and your soul
shall live;' 'Ask, and you shall receive; seek, and you shall find;
knock, and it shall be opened unto you;' 'Look unto me and be ye
saved, all ye ends of the earth;' 'Let the wicked forsake his way, and
the unrighteous man his thoughts, and let him return unto the Lord,
and he will have mercy upon him, and to our God, for he will
abundantly pardon;' 'Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the
waters'--blessings purchased by Christ: pardon of sin, reconciliation
with God, a new heart and spirit, all that is necessary for time and
eternity--'He that hath no money,' no merit, no good about him, no
claim upon any account whatever, 'come, buy and eat, without money and
without price;' 'Why spend ye your money,' time, talents, affections,
desires, 'for that which is not bread,' and cannot satisfy? 'incline
your ear, and come unto me; hear, and your soul shall live, and I will
make an everlasting covenant with you. Now is the accepted time; now
is the day of salvation. To-day if ye will hear his voice, harden not
your heart.'
"Such is the language of the dear Redeemer to sinners every day,
in his written word, from the pulpit, and in the dispensations of his
providence; but O, the madness of sinners, who will not think, who
will not attend, will not apply to this Saviour, whose sole errand
into this world was to seek and to save sinners, yea, the very chief;
but they will not put their souls into his hands, nor give him any
service. A time will come, and we are forewarned of it, when this same
inviting Saviour will say, 'Because I have called and ye refused,
stretched out my hand and no man regarded, I also will laugh at your
calamity, and will mock when your fear cometh.'
"Improve this dispensation, my dear child; beg of the Lord to
search you and try you, and see that your hopes be well grounded.
"Your affectionate mother,
"I. GRAHAM."
The following to her beloved friend Mrs. Walker, shows the
impressions made on the mind of Mrs. Graham by visiting _the place
of her nativity and the scene of her struggles with this world's
adversity_, when the hand of God was heavy upon her.
"EDINBURGH, September, 1787.
"MY DEAR MADAM--I have been on a jaunt for nearly three weeks; my
school mostly dismissed, the remainder I left with Miss S----.
Goodness and mercy have followed me, and the Lord has taken care of my
house also in my absence. Yours was put into my hand on my return, and
brought fresh cause of thankfulness; your observation, that we were
mutually feeding on the same allowance, continues to hold. I too have
been considering the works and doings of the Lord, and many of them
have been renewed in my memory by the scenes I have passed through.
"I visited the seat of my juvenile years with my dear and only
brother. There I recollected the days of my vanity, and the Lord's
patience and long-suffering; my repenting, my returning, his
pardoning, his blessing; my backslidings, his stripes and
chastisements, his restoring and recovering, yea, many and many times.
There, too, I found my old acquaintances no more; most of them had
finished their course under the sun; some I could still clasp in the
arms of faith, as united to the glorious Head, and now singing the
song of Moses and the Lamb. From the idea of others, I was obliged to
turn away and say, 'The Judge of all the earth shall do right.'
"I recollected a lowly cottage, where lived a pious father,
mother, two daughters, and a son; where the voice of prayer seldom
ceased, the voice of complaint was seldom heard: not one stone
remained upon another; only the bushes which surrounded it, and the
ruins of a little garden, the seat of secret communion of each with
their God in turn; for one little earth-floored place was all their
house-convenience, and in the winter's storm their little cow-house,
built under the same humble roof, was their secret temple. I found
three had gone to glory: of the other two I could learn no tidings;
but I shall see them one day in very different mansions. I saw others
spreading like a green bay-tree, adding field to field, and dwelling
alone, servants and dependents excepted.
"I saw my father's cottage, in the day when the Lord pressed
him down, and the place where my dear glorified-mother poured out
many prayers for me and mine; my own retirement too, after the
vanity I had seen of human life, and when tired and sick of it, I
sought to end my days in solitude, saying, 'It is enough; here let
thy servant depart in peace, and let my children be reared in
obscurity.' Then I returned to the town where my husband had
practised as a physician, where I had been respected and tasted
largely of life's comfort. I saw the house we had lived in, and many
tender scenes passed; to this same town I had returned a widow,
helpless and poor, neglected and forgotten. I saw the house where I
had taught my little school, and earned my porridge, potatoes, and
salt; when I found myself totally neglected by some who once thought
themselves honored by my acquaintance; while others, once shining in
affluence, were now reduced to humble dwellings.
"The Lord has been saying, 'Know and consider all the way by
which I have led thee, to prove thee, and try thee, to show thee what
was in thy heart, that he might do thee good in thy latter end.' He is
now saying, 'Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might;'
'Occupy till I come.' Oh, for a thankful heart, a loving, a zealous
heart, a meek and humble heart. Oh, for diligence and steadiness in
the path of duty, a due sense of our own weakness and inability, of
the Lord's power and all-sufficiency, and firm faith in the same. Give
my love to ----, she is the Lord's: her heavenly Father mingles her
cup; not one unnecessary bitter drop shall be put into it; bid her
trust in the Lord; the time, the set time for deliverance shall come.
I can witness, with many thousands on earth, and an innumerable
company in heaven, that he is the best of masters. I have suffered
much, yet not one word of all that he has said has failed. I expect to
suffer more; but whatever bitter draughts may yet await me, I would
not give one drop of my heavenly Father's mixing for oceans of what
the world styles felicity.
"I. GRAHAM."
Under another date she adds:
"When we trace the tenderness of our Daysman's conduct through
the whole of his tabernacling here below, and add to this the many
gracious words which he spoke, and to these again what were spoken by
the disciples by his authority, can we refuse to cast all our burdens
on him, and to trust him with ourselves and them? You know how sweet
it is, in the time of tumultuous distress, when the spirit is
overwhelmed, when God's mercy seems clean gone for ever, and his
promise to fail, how sweet to get even a lean upon the Saviour; but
when he, as he does at times, takes the soul out of itself, and away
from forebodings, reasonings, and suppositions, to his own divine
attributes, and gives it a believing view of its interest in them all,
in his wisdom as unerring, his power as almighty, his goodness as
boundless, his faithfulness unchanging; when we add to these his
humanity, and consider that our High-priest was in all points tempted
as we are, yet without sin, and that he has a feeling for our
infirmities; when we find him listening to every petition--a widowed
mother for her son--the centurion for his servant--weeping with two
sisters over a brother's grave--embracing and blessing the little
children whom mothers, like you and me, pressed through the crowd, in
spite of the reprehensions of disciples, to present to him--accepting
the effusions of Magdalene's penitent heart with tender consolation, O
how near does this bring the Divinity to us, and how sweetly may we
confide in such tenderness. Oh my friend, He rests in his love. Let us
rest in our confidence. All shall be well."
When Dr. Witherspoon visited Scotland in the year 1785, he had
frequent conversations with Mrs. Graham on the subject of her removal
to America. She gave him at this time some reason to calculate on her
going thither as soon as her children should have completed the course
of education she had proposed for them. She had entertained a strong
partiality for America ever since her former residence there, and had
indulged a secret expectation of returning. It was her opinion, and
that of many pious people, that America was the country where the
church of Christ would preeminently flourish. She was therefore
desirous to leave her offspring there.
After some correspondence with Dr. Witherspoon, and consultation
with pious friends, her plan received the approbation of the latter;
and having had an invitation from many respectable characters in the
city of New York, with assurances of patronage and support, she
arranged her affairs for quitting Edinburgh. The Algerines being then
at war with the United States, her friends insisted on her chartering
a small British vessel to carry herself and family to the port of New
York. This increased her expenses; but Providence, in faithfulness and
mercy, sent her at this time a remittance from Dr. Henderson, the
young friend of Dr. Graham, who succeeded him as surgeon of the
regiment; and a legacy of two hundred pounds bequeathed her by Lady
Glenorchy, as a mark of her regard, was now of great use to her.
Thus in the month of July, 1789, Mrs. Graham once more prepared
_to go into a land which the Lord seemed to tell her of_.
The two following extracts from her private journal, indicate the
state of her mind and heart previous to leaving Edinburgh.
"EDINBURGH, March, 1789.
"Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive; and
let thy widows trust in me,' Jer. 49: 11; the Lord's promise, which he
made to me in the days of my widowhood, and which I have made the
subject of my prayers from day to day, taking the words in a spiritual
sense. The Lord has done wonders for me and mine since the day I was
left a widow with three orphans, and the fourth not born, in a strange
land, without money, at a distance from friends; or rather, without
friends. Hitherto he has supplied all my wants, and laid to hand every
necessary and many comforts; supporting character and credit, making a
way for me through the wilderness, pointing out my path, and settling
the bounds of my habitation.
"For all these blessings I desire to be grateful to the God of
providence, whose is the earth and the fulness thereof; but these I
cannot take as the substance of the promise; neither have they been
the chief matter of my prayers. The salvation and the life I have
wrestled for, is that which Christ died to purchase, and lives to
bestow--even spiritual life, and salvation from sin. My God knows I
have held fast this view of the words, seeking first the kingdom of
God for my children, leaving temporals to be given or withheld, as may
best suit with the conversion and sanctification of their souls. I
have not asked for them health, beauty, riches, honor, or temporal
life: God knows what share of these consists with their better
interests; let him give or withhold accordingly. One thing I have
asked of the Lord, one thing only, and will persist in asking, trust
in him for, and for which I think I have his promise--even the life of
their and my soul. 1 Thess. 5:23, is my petition for me and mine;
verse 24, my anchor of hope, preceded by Jeremiah 49:11."
"EDINBURGH, March 17, 1789.
"This day from the head of his own table did the Lord, by his
servant Mr. R----, proclaim his name the I AM, and called on me to
write under what I would, for time and eternity. My soul rejoices that
God is, and that he is what he is; nothing less than himself can
content me, nothing more do I desire.
"This great I AM is my portion--what can I ask beside? He hath
opened my eyes to see his excellency; he hath determined my will, to
choose him for my portion. He hath arranged and set in order a rich
testament sealed by the blood of his own Son, containing every
blessing for time and for eternity. All my heart's desire is there
promised, and faith given to believe there shall be a full
performance. What have I to say then, but, Amen, do as thou hast
said? Father, glorify thy name. Thou hast said, 'Then will I
sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean; from all your
filthiness and from all your idols will I cleanse you. A new heart
also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you; and I
will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give
you a heart of flesh; and I will put my Spirit within you, and cause
you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments and do
them. And ye shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers:
and ye shall be my people, and I will be your God.' Amen; Lord, do
as thou hast said. Behold, I take hold of thy covenant for myself
and for my children. It is well ordered in all things, and it is
sure. My heart accords to every part of it. Wilt thou guide us by
thy counsel while we live, and afterwards receive us to thy glory?
Amen and amen--do as thou hast said.
"If we forsake thy laws, and go astray; if we depart from thee
and break thy commandments, wilt thou visit our faults with rods, and
our sins with chastisements. Blessed promise; amen, Lord, do as thou
hast said: seeing thy loving-kindness is secured to us, and thou wilt
not cast us off from being thy people, nor alter that which thou hast
spoken; wilt thou keep us as the apple of thine eye? wilt thou cover
us with the shadow of thy wing? Art thou my Husband? art thou the
Father of my fatherless children? wilt thou be the stay of these
orphans, and their and my shield in a strange land? wilt thou perfect
what concerns us? wilt thou care for us? wilt thou _never leave us,
never forsake us_? in the valley of the shadow of death shall thy
rod and staff support us? What can thy servant say but, Amen, do as
thou hast said."
CHAPTER IV.
SCHOOL IN NEW YORK--DEATH OF HER PASTOR
DR. JOHN MASON--LAST NEWS OF HER SON.
MRS. GRAHAM, after a pleasant though tedious voyage, landed in
New York on the 8th day of September, 1789, where she and her family
were received with the greatest cordiality and confidence. The late
Rev. Dr. Rodgers and Rev. Dr. John Mason were especially kind to her.
She came eminently prepared to instruct her pupils in all the higher
branches of female education; and the favorable change effected by her
exertions was soon visible in the minds, manners, and accomplishments
of the young ladies committed to her care. She opened her school on
the 5th of October, 1789, with five scholars, and before the end of
the same month the number increased to fifty. She not only imparted
knowledge to her pupils, but also, by her conversation and example,
prepared their minds to receive it in such a manner as to apply it to
practical advantage. While she taught them to regard external
accomplishments as ornaments to the female character, she was careful
to recommend the practice of virtue as the highest accomplishment of
all, and to inculcate the principles of religion as the only solid
foundation for morality and virtue. The annual examinations of her
scholars were always well attended, and gave great satisfaction.
General Washington while at New York honored her with his patronage.
The venerable and amiable Bishop of the Episcopal church in the state
of New York, then the Rev. Dr. Benjamin Moore, was never once absent
from those examinations. She was sensible of his friendship, and
always spoke of him in terms of great esteem and respect.
She united in communion with the church under the pastoral care
of the Kev. Dr. Mason. This excellent man was her faithful friend and
wise counsellor. Under his ministry her two daughters, Joanna and
Isabella, joined the church in the year 1791. Her eldest daughter
Jessie, who had made a profession of religion in Scotland, was married
in July, 1790, to Mr. Hay Stevenson, merchant of New York, and she
became a member of the church under the care of Dr. Rodgers, where her
husband attended.
In the year 1791 her son, who had been left in Scotland to
complete his education, paid his mother a visit. Mrs. Graham,
considering herself as inadequate to the proper management of a son,
had at an early period of his life sent him to the care of a friend,
who had promised to pay due attention to his morals and education. The
boy had a warm affectionate heart, but possessed, at the same time, a
bold and fearless spirit. Such a disposition, under proper management,
might have been formed into a noble character; but he was neglected,
and left in a great measure to himself by his first preceptor.
For two years of his life he was under the care of Mr. Murray,
teacher of an academy at Abercorn. He was a man truly qualified for
his station. He instructed his pupils with zeal; led even their
amusements; and to an exemplary piety added the faithful counsel of
a friend. He loved, and was therefore beloved. Under his
superintendence John Graham improved rapidly, and gained the
affections of his teacher and companions. Happy for him had he
continued in such a suitable situation. He was removed to Edinburgh
to receive a more classical education. Being left there by his
mother and sisters, the impetuosity of his temper and a propensity
for a sea-faring life induced his friends to place him as an
apprentice in the merchant-service. He was shipwrecked on the coast
of Holland, and Mr. Gibson of Rotterdam, a friend of Mrs. Graham,
took him to his house, and enabled him to come to the United States.
He remained at New York for some months. His mother deemed it his
duty to return to Scotland to complete his time of service. He
evidently inclined to the profession of a sailor; she therefore
fitted him out handsomely, and he embarked for Greenock in the same
ship with Mr. John M. Mason, the only son of Dr. John Mason, who
went to attend the theological lectures at the Divinity Hall
in Edinburgh.
The following extract shows the anguish of Mrs. Graham's mind in
parting with her son, and how she cast him upon the covenant mercy of
her God, placing a blank, as to temporal things, in her Lord's hand,
but holding on with a fervent faith and hope to the promise of
spiritual life.
"NEW YORK, May 20, 1791.
"This day my only son left me in bitter wringings of heart: he is
again launched on the ocean, God's ocean. The Lord saved him from
shipwreck, brought him to my home, and allowed me once more to indulge
the yearning of my heart over him. Short has been the time he has been
with me, and ill have I improved it: he is gone from my sight, and my
heart bursts with tumultuous grief. Lord, have mercy on the widow's
son--'the only son of his mother, and she a widow,'
"I ask nothing in all this world for him: I repeat my
petition--save his soul alive; give him salvation from sin. It is not
the danger of the seas that distresses me; it is not the hardships he
must undergo; it is not the dread of never seeing him more in this
world: it is because I cannot discern the fulfilment of the promise in
him. I discern not the new birth nor its fruits, but every symptom of
captivity to Satan, the world, and self-will. This, O this is what
distresses me: and in connection with this, his being shut out from
ordinances, at a distance from Christians; and shut up with those who
forget God, profane his name, and break his Sabbaths.
"O Lord, many wonders hast thou shown me; thy ways of dealing
with me and mine have not been common; add this wonder to the rest:
call, convert, regenerate, and establish a sailor in the faith. Lord,
all things are possible with thee: glorify thy Son, and extend his
kingdom by sea and land; take the prey from the strong. I roll him
over upon thee. Many friends try to comfort me; miserable comforters
are they all. Thou art the God of consolation; only confirm to me thy
gracious word, on which thou causedst me to hope in the day when thou
saidst to me, 'Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them
alive.' Only let this life be a spiritual life, and I put a blank in
thy hand as to all temporal things. 'I wait for thy salvation.' Amen."
Three months afterwards she learned that a press-gang had boarded
the ship in which her son was, and although he was saved from their
grasp by a stratagem of the passengers, yet all his effects were taken
away from him. In the following reflections on this event, the anxious
mother shows that she would not withdraw the blank she had put into
her Redeemer's hands.
"NEW YORK, August 18, 1791.
"Thus far the Lord hath tried me, and kept me to my choice.
This night I have tidings, through a letter to Dr. Mason, that my
son has been seized by the press-gang. Through God's help, he
escaped; but all his assortment of necessaries that his sisters and
I made up with so much care, labor, and expense, they have carried
off, and he is once more left naked. Satan and a corrupt heart unite
in tempting me to complain. Dare I utter a word or harbor a
murmuring thought? Would I withdraw the blank I have put into the
Redeemer's hand? Has he not hitherto done all things well? Have not
my own afflictions been my greatest blessings? Have not I asked for
my children their mother's portion? Has not God chiefly made use of
afflictions as means of hedging me in, and shutting me up to my
choice of this portion, as well as showing me that He is a
sufficient portion without any other? When matters have been at the
worst with me as to this world, my triumphs in God have been
highest, and prospects for eternity brightest.
"Has the Lord given me in some measure victory over the world? Do
its honors, riches, and gaudy splendor appear to me empty and vain,
and not worth an anxious thought? Does provision of food and raiment
by the way through this wilderness seem all that is necessary? and is
it my wish, as well as form of prayer, that the Lord may give that in
kind and degree which he sees fittest for me? And shall I covet that
for my child which I despise for myself? Alas, Lord, it is because he
feeds not on better things, and sometimes I fear he has no better
portion. Still, still foolish. Was it when I was full, or when in
want, that I returned to my heavenly Father? Do I desire, have I asked
and persisted in asking for my children, salvation from sin and self?
Do I anxiously wish them to reach and to surpass my present measure of
submission and resignation to thy will--to enjoy God in all things,
and nothing without him? And shall I, dare I complain when I see the
Lord making use of the same means which first brought me to myself,
and recovered me also from numberless backslidings since I first
tasted the blessedness of his chosen?
"Lord, I renew my blank. I afresh roll them all over upon thee. I
will try to look on, in the faith that all things shall work together
for good to their souls, and that I shall yet see the day, or if I see
it not, that it will come, when they shall bow at thy footstool, sink
into the open arms of thy mercy in Christ, melted down in holy,
humble, acquiescing, cordial submission to thy severest dealings with
them; when thou shalt put a new song into their mouths, and they shall
sing as I do now, It hath been very good for me that I have been
afflicted. I wait for thy salvation. Amen."
Again we mark her trust in God in the more common events of life,
and her gratitude in the reception of blessings from his hand.
"NEW YORK, September, 1791.
"Many have been my burdens of late; strangers laid upon me to
provide for, even when I thought I had not sufficient to give to all
their due and provide for my own family. But what is that to me? the
Lord increases business, lays more largely to hand, bears me and my
burdens, provides for me and strangers. Lord, it is all well: give
when thou wilt, and call for it again when and for what purpose thou
wilt; it is thine own. I am thine, and all that thou givest me is
thine; the world calls it mine, but I call it thine. If it be thy
will, lead me in a plain path, or if thou lead me by a way which I
know not, hold up my goings, so shall I be in peace and safety
still. Amen."
"NEW YORK, October 10, 1791.
"This day did the Lord's sent servant, in a solemn manner, take
us all to witness, and call in the witness of angels, that we had once
more avouched ourselves to be the Lord's, and that once more Christ
and his salvation had been offered to all within the walls. This same
day, for the second time, have my two daughters sat down at the
Redeemer's table among his professing people, and, I have reason to
think, given their hearty assent to his covenant.
"Glory, glory, glory, to the hearer of prayer. I have cast my
fatherless children on the Lord, and he has begun to make good my
confidence. _One thing_, one only thing have I asked for them,
leaving every thing else to be bestowed or withheld as consisting with
that: I seek for my four children and myself, first of all, _the
kingdom of God_.
"My God from day to day adds many other comforts, and strengthens
my hopes by promising appearances, that _the grain of mustard
seed_ is sown in the hearts of my three daughters. They have joined
themselves to the people of God, and I have reason to think the Lord
has ratified their surrender of themselves to him; he has made them
willing for the time, and he will hedge them in to the choice they
have made.
"Saturday, September, 1791, the Lord made me a grandmother,
assisted my poor weakly girl, and gave a son to her and my arms.
'There was joy that a man-child was born into the world,' and
according to that word 'she remembered no more the anguish.'
"Thanks be to God for this salvation; but, Lord, this is but a
small thing with thee. Look, O look on this twig from a guilty stock;
poor, helpless, feeble creature, it can do nothing for its body, and
still less for its soul. O God of _the spirits of all flesh_,
give it a plunge in _the blood of Jesus_--cleanse, O cleanse him
from original sin, and now, even now, in thy own sovereign and
mysterious way, sow _the grain of mustard seed_ in his soul."
In the spring of 1792, Mrs. Graham and her family were called to
a severe trial by the translation of their beloved pastor, Dr. Mason,
to a better world. A few months before his decease, while preaching to
his people, his recollection failed, his sermon was gone from his
mind, and he sat down in his pulpit unable to proceed. After a short
pause, he arose and addressed his people in a pious and affectionate
strain; he considered this event as a call from his heavenly Master to
expect a speedy dismission from the earth, and solemnly admonished
them also to be prepared for the will of God. His people, who loved
him, were affected to tears. An illness soon followed, which
terminated in the death of the body. He departed on the night when
Mrs. Graham took her turn of watching with him, and she closed his
eyes, which she always accounted a privilege and honor bestowed upon
her by her divine Master. But this tender and affecting scene is best
described in a letter which she wrote to her sympathizing friend Mrs.
Walker, of Edinburgh.
"NEW YORK, April, 1792, Sabbath noon.
"MY DEAR MADAM--It is not my custom to take my pen on this day
even to write to a Christian friend, having occasion for the whole
time with my family or in secret with my God; but I cannot go to
dinner, I cannot eat, I cannot talk to my girls; my heart must bleed
afresh on the same altar upon which it has often been pierced. O,
madam, my dear Dr. Mason goes, and leaves me here alone: in all
probability his course is nearly finished, and his crown awaits him.
Five physicians now attend him closely. I have seen him often, and he
says, 'All is well, all will be well,' Of the physicians he said,
'Yes, yes, it is very well; they are useful men in God's hand; they
may be instrumental in patching up the tabernacle a little. If it be
raised to usefulness, I am content; if not to usefulness, I do not
desire it. I feel no concern about the issue of this; the will of the
Lord be done.'
"I say, Amen; but Oh, I feel alone. I should need large
communications from his Master to fill up this blank. I cannot write
for weeping; now my face is so swelled I cannot go to church. I called
at his house this morning, found the doctors in the parlor, and
learned from them the worst. The bell was ringing for church. I
stifled as much as possible my grief; would fain have come home to
give it vent, but durst not be absent from the house of God. I heard a
stranger in Dr. Rodgers' church; our doors are closed; his text was,
'Henceforth I call you not servants, but friends;' he ran the parallel
between human friendship and that subsisting between Christ and his
disciples. I ought to be comforted, nay, I am comforted.
"The Bible lies open before me; it is full of consolation; but
all is in prospect. I look at God, what he is in himself, what he is
to his people _now_ and what he will be to _eternity_: the
consolations of hope are mine; but for the present, I feel like the
sparrow on the house-top, or like a pelican in the wilderness; and
when I think on my years and the robustness of my constitution, and
that I may have a long journey before me, I am not able to look at it.
At the same time, when I consider my children, who, having lost their
pastor, who bore them on his heart to the throne of grace, have double
need of a mother, I dare not indulge a wish, far less put up a
petition for release. O, that I could get under the influence of that
spirit which I have witnessed in my dear pastor--that entire
confidence in God--that perfect resignation to his will--that
complacency in all he has done, is doing, or will do--that rest in
God, of which he seems to be put in possession even now, while his
breast is laboring and heaving like a broken bellows, and he cannot
fetch one full breath. O, what cannot God effect.
"SUNDAY EVENING. I have again seen my dear pastor, and discern
the clay dissolving fast. The words of dying saints are precious, and
his are few. He thus accosted me: 'I am just waiting the will of God;
for the present I seem a useless blank in his hand; I can say very
little; be not too anxious for my life, but transfer your care to the
church; my life or death is but a trifle; if the Lord have any use for
me, it is easy for him to raise me up still; and if he do, it will be
agreeable to observe his hand distinct from men; if he should not, you
will all be cared for; leave all to him and seek his glory.' He could
say no more, nor will I to-night, but address myself to our Lord on
his behalf, yours, my own, and our dear concerns.
"Several days have elapsed since I last wrote; our dear doctor
still lives, often recruits, and again is reduced; but man can do no
more; my last page, before the vessel sails, shall be of him.
"As to myself and family, we are as the Lord would have it with
us, and I make no doubt as we need. Business very full; a house full
of boarders, and about sixty scholars. I begin to feel the effects of
fatigue or age, I know not which. The almond-tree flourishes; those
that look out at the windows begin to be darkened; but the keepers of
the house stand firm, and all the wheels and springs discharge their
office, though more heavily; there is no judging of my days by present
appearances. Well, let me once more return to my rest--_God_;
commit my way to him, who shall bring to pass what is best, and in the
end shall complete my happiness.
"APRIL 23, MONDAY. It is finished. My dear minister's bitter
draught is over. On Thursday, the 19th of this month, a quarter before
ten o'clock, A.M., the Lord received his spirit and laid his weary
flesh to rest. He had a sore conflict with the king of terrors, who
seemed allowed to revel through every part of his mortal frame: his
legs were mortified to his knees; he had not been able to lie down for
four weeks, and died in his chair. Like his Master, he groaned, but
never complained: he had a draught of his Master's cup, but the bitter
ingredient _desertion_ made no part of it. I had the honor to
close his dear eyes, and to shut those dear lips from whence so many
precious truths have proceeded, and to mix with the ministering
spirits who attended to hail the released. This honor I had desired,
but did not reckon myself worthy, and hardly hoped for it; but the
Lord saw the wish, though never formed into a petition, and indulged
me. I bless him for it. And now, farewell human friendships; let me
gird up the loins of my mind, and run with patience the little
further, looking unto Jesus, and following also him my pastor, 'who,
through faith and patience, now inherits the promises.'
"This is a great work finished. Dr. Mason was 'a city set on a
hill.' He was with the army during all the war after the evacuation of
New York; had great influence over the soldiers; preached the gospel
of peace uniformly, but never meddled with politics, though he was
fully capable. In every situation the Lord supported him in uniformity
and consistency of character, and carried him through without a single
spot or stain. Glory to God in the highest for this repeated proof of
his faithfulness. 'Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright, for
the end of that man is peace.'
"I. GRAHAM."
Great was the grief of Dr. Mason's congregation on his removal.
In him, to great learning were united meekness, prudence, diligence,
and knowledge of the world, and an affectionate superintendence of the
interests, spiritual and temporal, of his flock. He so arranged his
avocations and studies in regard to time, that he had always a few
hours in the afternoon to devote to visiting the families of his
congregation. So regular was the order he observed, that Mrs. Graham
and her family knew when to calculate on seeing him, and always
expected him with the anticipation of profit and pleasure. Once every
week they were sure of seeing him, if in health. His visits were
short, his conversation serious, awakening, instructive, and
affectionate. He inquired about their temporal affairs, and in cases
of difficulty gave them his best advice. His counsels were salutary;
his knowledge of the world and his discrimination of character
rendered him well qualified to advise. In one of his visits to Mrs.
Graham she mentioned to him the want of good servants as one of her
trials. "Mrs. Graham," said he, "have you ever prayed to the Lord to
provide good servants for you? Nothing which interests our comfort is
too minute for the care of our heavenly Father."
To one of her daughters, who felt a strong inclination to profess
her faith in Christ by joining the communion of his church, but yet
was afraid that her heart was not sufficiently engaged for the service
of God, Dr. Mason proposed the following question: "If," said he, "the
world, with all its wealth, pleasures, and power, were placed in one
scale, and Christ alone in the other, which would your heart freely
choose as a portion?" On her replying there would be no hesitation as
to her choice of Christ, he gave her encouragement to profess her
faith, although it might not at present amount to the full assurance
of hope.
He was indeed a faithful shepherd of his flock, and his people
mourned for him as for an affectionate father. It is much to be
desired that his example were more followed by Christian pastors. To
preach with eloquence and acceptance is a talent of great value in a
minister of the gospel; this makes him respected, and his congregation
admire him, because, for one reason, they are proud of him; but to
gain their affections, to make a congregation the children of an aged
pastor, or the friends and brethren of a younger one, let the minister
visit the families of his people; this will seal on their hearts the
regard which their understandings had already dictated.
Very few ministers have been more remarkable for a strict
attention to this duty, than the late Dr. John Mason and his venerable
and attached friend Dr. Rodgers. When the former died, the latter
exclaimed, "I feel as if I had lost a right arm."
The congregation, bereaved of their pastor, wrote immediately to
his son, the late Rev. Dr. John Mitchell Mason, to hasten his return
from Edinburgh to New York; and after preaching to them with great
acceptance for several months, he was ordained and installed pastor of
the church in April, 1793. Mrs. Graham entertained for him the most
affectionate attachment, and this attachment was reciprocal.
At this date we find some of Mrs. Graham's delightful
devotional exercises.
"NEW YORK, 1793.
"Blessed Lord, thou hast, to the praise of thy grace, given me
the heritage of them that fear thy name; thou hast prepared my heart
to pray, and inclined thine ear to hear; thou hast drawn me into thy
fold, and hast fed me in thy green pastures. I rejoice in Israel's
Shepherd; not one of his flock shall be lost. Often have I wandered
from his presence and sought pasture among the swine, but my Shepherd
has ever drawn or driven me back. He has a rod and I have felt it; but
I bless the hand and kiss the rod.
"O, how wonderful to look back and see 'all the way by which he
has led me, to prove me, to try me, to show me what was in my heart,
that he might do me good at my latter end.' Amen, my God, I leave
myself in thy hands. I should lose myself; but thou wilt keep me from
foes without and foes within. What then have I to care for? My
Shepherd careth for all; he slumbers not nor sleeps, and he will
perfect what concerns me; of this I am as sure as that I now write it.
"The law of thy mouth is better unto me than gold and silver. O
how I love thy law, it is my meditation all the day. Thou, through thy
commandments--or the whole of thy truth--hast made me wiser than my
teachers. The law of God makes the simple wise. How sweet are thy
words unto my taste, yea, sweeter than honey to my mouth. Through thy
precepts I get understanding, therefore I hate every false way. 'Thy
word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.' How safe, how
happy are they who are taught by the word of God. 'Blessed art thou,
Simon Barjona, for flesh and blood hath not taught thee this, but my
Father who is in heaven.'
"O my children, enrich your minds with a full acquaintance with
the word of God; lay it up in your memories, when you can do nothing
more; be assured, if ever you are made wise unto salvation, it must be
by this word; if ever you are taught of God, he will teach you by the
words contained in the Bible. 'Search the Scriptures, for they are
they which testify of me;' search the Scriptures, for in them are
contained the words of eternal life. 'Be followers of them who,
through faith and patience, now inherit the promises.'
"Holy David went forward, heavenward, improving in the knowledge
of God, of himself, and of God's plan of salvation for ruined sinners,
by studying the word, the works, and the providences of God, but
chiefly the word of God; praying for, watching for the influences of
God's Spirit on his judgment and thinking powers: it was by this that
he became wiser than his teachers. He was a king, and had the cares of
the nation to occupy his mind; he was a man of war, and had that art
to study. But O, the privilege of the Christian! he goes through every
part, even of his earthly way, leaning upon God. David could say, even
of war, 'The Lord teaches my hands to war, and my fingers to fight.'
'The Lord subdued the people under me.' In temporals and in
spirituals, he is my shield, my strength, my buckler, my strong
tower.' I shall not fear what man can do unto me.' 'In Judah's land
God is well known; there he brake the spear, the bow, and the battle.'
He ascribes all to God. We hear nothing of his own wisdom, his
disciplined armies, his order of battle and warlike powers, though
attention to all these was his duty, and not neglected by him. He
devoted all his natural talents to God; he exercised them diligently,
but still he knew and acted under the influence of that knowledge,
that unless the Lord build the house, the builders lose their pains;
unless the Lord keep the city, the watchmen watch in vain. He, as well
as worldly men, chose the means best adapted to the end proposed. Let
natural men assert, and let it be admitted, that David knew better how
to use a sling and a stone, than mail, helmet, and sword; therefore he
chose them. But follow David until he meets the hostile foe. Do we
hear a word of his art as a slinger, as a marksman? though we may
suppose he was expert at both. 'Thou comest to me with a sword, a
spear, and a shield; but I come in the name of the Lord of hosts, the
God of the armies of Israel whom thou hast defied; and this assembly
shall know that the Lord saveth not with sword and spear'--these are
not essential--'for the battle is the Lord's, and he will give you
into our hands.'
"How comfortably might Christians go through life did they walk
with God in their daily business and occupations, carefully observing
the leadings of Providence, cautiously avoiding either running before
or lagging behind; but in all things making their requests known to
God; at all times committing their way to him, being careful about
nothing, but to use with diligence the means of grace, and also the
means of acquiring the good things of life, leaving the issues of both
to God, in the full assurance that what is good the Lord will give.
'Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and
verily thou shalt be fed.' In spirituals and in temporals, 'the hand
of the diligent maketh rich.' Be 'not slothful in business, fervent in
spirit, serving the Lord.'
"Lord, teach me thy law graciously, in all its perfection, its
extent, order, beauty, and harmony, and grant me all the assistance
provided to enable a lost, depraved, corrupted child of Adam, to set
out in thy good ways, to go forward, and to finish in the same course;
and all the consolation, joy, and peace which thou hast provided to be
enjoyed in a measure even here, and to be perfected in the world to
come. Amen.
"'O Israel, return unto the Lord, for thou hast fallen by thine
iniquity.' Hos. 14. Yes, fallen, O how fallen from God the only good,
the fountain of happiness. Lost his image, which was the glory of man
in paradise. Lost that sweet complacency and delight in his
perfections and attributes which innocence enjoyed. Lost rectitude of
reason and judgment. No longer can we judge of excellence, no longer
love what God loves. Our wills no longer straight with his will, but
crooked, opposing God, and choosing evil instead of good. 'O Israel,
thou hast destroyed thyself, but in me is thy help.' Amen, says my
soul, in thee is my help."
"NEW YORK, October 3, 1793.
"'One shall say, I am the Lord's, and another shall call himself
by the name of Jacob; and another shall subscribe with his hand unto
the Lord, and surname himself by the name of Israel.' Isaiah 44:5.
"I, as one, subscribe to the truth of all that God has said: I,
as one, subscribe my assent to all he has done. I set my amen to his
well-ordered covenant, well-ordered in all things, and sure. And this
is the covenant, even Christ, the sum and substance, for he hath given
him to be a covenant of the people. The whole and every part of it is
God's covenant. To me it must be a testament, the new testament in
Christ's blood. To me it must be a covenant of gifts and promises. I
can be no party, having nothing to give; nothing with which to
covenant. He hath said, 'Thou hast destroyed thyself, but in me is thy
help.' Amen. Be my help, my deliverer.
"'Look unto me, all ye ends of the earth, and be saved; for I am
God, and there is none else.' I do look unto thee alone for salvation.
Thou art God; there is none else: besides thee there is no Saviour.
"'I will pour water on the thirsty, and floods on the parched
ground. I will pour my Spirit upon thy seed, and my blessing upon thy
offspring.' Amen. I yield my soul into thy hand, dry and parched, to
receive thy showers of reviving, quickening, fructifying grace."
Writing about this date to her beloved friend Mrs. O---- of
Edinburgh, Mrs. Graham, for the encouragement of her friend, gives
her, in confidence, the following record of her own Christian
experience:
"It is now. I think, thirty-five years since I simply, but
solemnly, accepted of the Lord's Christ, as God's gift to a lost
world. I rolled my condemned, perishing, corrupted soul upon this
Jesus, exhibited in the gospel as a Saviour from sin. My views then
were dark compared with what they now are: but this I remember, that
at the time I felt heart-satisfying trust in the mercy of God, as the
purchase of Christ; and for a time rejoiced with joy scarce
supportable, singing almost continually the 103d Psalm.
"I took a view of the promises of God, and wrote out many of
them, and called them mine; and among the foremost was that in Psalm
89:30-33; and well has the Lord kept me to it, and made it good: for,
my dear friend, never was there a more unsteady, unwatchful Christian;
never did the children of Israel's conduct in the wilderness depict
any Christian's heart and conduct in the gospel times better than
mine; and just so has the Lord dealt with me. When he slew me, then I
trusted in him; when he gave me carnal ease and comfort, I forgot my
Rock and rebelled. Often did I stumble too from legality, instead of
looking at my own weakness and impotence, and trusting wholly in my
Redeemer's strength. I was wroth with myself, wondered at myself, and
thought it impossible I could be as I had been. I made strong
resolutions, yea, vows, and became a slave in means to hedge in this
wandering, worldly, vain, flighty heart; but, alas, a few months found
me where I was, with scarce a thought of God from morning to night;
prayer huddled over in words that had no effect on my heart; and the
fear of hell the chief restraint from sin or spur to duty. Then, in
general, the Lord had some affliction for me, which laid me afresh at
his feet, and made me take a fresh grasp of Christ, and a fresh view
of his covenant: then again I felt safety, joy, peace, and happiness.
"Thus, by line upon line, by precept upon precept, aye, and by
stripe upon stripe, he taught me that I could not walk a moment
alone. This is now my fixed faith; and in proportion as I keep it in
sight, I walk safely; but I still forget, and still stumble and
still fall; but I am lifted up and taught lesson after lesson; and I
shall stumble and shall fall while sin is in me; but the last
stumble shall come, and the last stripe shall be laid on, and the
last lesson taught, and that which concerns me shall be perfected.
O, then shall I look back, and see 'all the way by which he has led
me, to prove me and try me, and show me what was in my heart, that
he might do me good in my latter end.'
"I am often, even in this valley of darkness and ignorance,
allowed this retrospective view; and am led to say not one word of
all that he promised has failed. 'Hitherto the Lord hath helped, he
hath been the guide of my youth, and even unto hoar hairs will he
lead me;' and when he calls me to pass through the valley of the
shadow of death, I shall even then fear no evil, for his rod and
staff shall support me; and I shall enter into the presence of my
Redeemer, white and clean, dressed in his most perfect righteousness;
angels and saints shall know me in this glorious robe; my Redeemer
will acknowledge me as his ransomed, and I shall be for ever with the
Lord."
To Mr. A.D., Edinburgh.
"NEW YORK, 1793.
"I have just been reading over my dear friend's precious letters,
and am refreshed anew by the same truths and uniform experience of
every Christian; which all amounts to this, that the Lord is the
portion of his people, and that whom he loves, he loves to the end. My
soul melts with tenderness when I recollect my fellow-travellers in
the wilderness; those dear associates with whom I have so often taken
sweet counsel; who so often comforted me with the same comforts with
which they themselves were comforted. I am also led to recollect some
who have finished their warfare; some whose trials were sharp and
long, but who, through the same grace in which we trust, were
steadfast to the end; and now inherit a crown of life--the reward of
grace, not of debt.
"I rejoice to hear that your children are promising; I think it
is the greatest comfort a parent can enjoy in this world. I have a
large share of it in my three daughters; but my prodigal is not come
to himself; he still feeds on husks, nor thinks of the plenty in his
Father's house. I had great hopes last winter; I heard he had been
very ill in consequence of very severe treatment from his captain. The
Lord has been emptying him from vessel to vessel, and I have been
waiting the issue; but mine eyes almost fail. I have great hopes that
God's time of mercy will come. I am also satisfied that it will be the
best time; but still I cry, O how long? My dear friends, I think I
would recommend it to you to _keep your children about you_. No
other had ever the influence over him that I had; and I regret that I
did not bring him with me.
"Our young Timothy, J.M., is a perfect champion for the gospel of
Jesus; the Lord has well girded him and largely endowed him; he walks
closely with God, and speaks and preaches like a Christian of long
experience: he was ordained about two months ago in his father's
church, and a few weeks after married a lady of eminent piety, and
preached all the day, both the Sabbath before and after: no levity, no
novelty appeared in word or gesture, which is not always the case with
the best at such times. There is probably no church in New York whose
discipline is as strict, nor one which has so many communicants. He is
reckoned a man of great talents and an orator; and many of even the
idle and careless go to hear him.
"A few Sabbaths ago he preached from these words, 'I determined
to know nothing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified.'
After proving that all the Scriptures, from the beginning of Genesis
to the end of Revelation, pointed to Christ and his great work of
redemption, and asserting that that sermon could not be called the
gospel of which He was not the subject, he spoke home to his audience,
and told them that this, through the aid of divine grace, was his firm
purpose--to dwell on redeeming love. He was sure no subject would be
welcome to any Christian, where Christ was not to be found; nor would
any such subject ever convert a sinner; and therefore, if any were
about to take their place there, expecting to hear any new or strange
thing, let them not disappoint themselves. O, for a thankful heart;
the Lord has indeed done wonders for me and mine; and blessed be his
name for his mercy also, that in a remarkable manner, by a strange
concurrence of circumstances, he hedged me in to become a member of
this congregation, where I am led and fed with the same truths which
nourished my soul in Zion's gates at Edinburgh; and I am helped to
sing the Lord's song in a foreign land. Often have I been tempted to
hang my harp upon the willow, 'when Zion I thought on;' but this was,
and sometimes still is my sin and ingratitude, for I ought to build
houses, and plant vineyards, and seek the good of the land; for he has
a small vineyard here, which he waters and cultivates, and I ought to
labor therein, and do whatsoever my hand findeth to do with diligence,
and say, 'The earth is the Lord's, and the fulness thereof; heaven is
his throne, the earth his footstool,' and he fills all things and
all places.
"'What aileth thee, Hagar?' O what a God of mercy is our God!
Often has he hailed me in some such language: 'What aileth thee?' why
is thy countenance sad? am I not better to thee than ten friends? Then
has he turned my heart to him, made me feel myself close to him; he
has suffered me to lean on his bosom, hang on his arm, and lisp out,
Abba. At such blest moments I have thought the whole earth but one
point, and from that to heaven but one step, and the time between but
as one moment; and my company here sufficient to satisfy me by the
way. At such blest moments I felt perfect, full, entire satisfaction
with all that God is, all that he does; and could trust him fully with
all my concerns, spiritual, temporal, and eternal. But, alas, by and
by, like a peevish child, I began to fret, wish this, wish that;
grieve for this, grieve for that; fear this, fear that; stagger,
stumble, fall. O what a God of patience and long-suffering. And O how
rich that well-ordered covenant, that provides suitable grace for all
these unsteady seasons. It is my greatest consolation that the Lord
knows it all. There are times when I cannot see him, but every moment
he sees me. I should fall off and leave him, but he holds me fast and
never leaves me. O blessed plan, where God secures us in safety, even
from ourselves. We have not only destroyed ourselves, and he has been
our help; but we are ever destroying ourselves, and still he renews
this help.
"Well, what shall we say? Father, glorify thy name, and let us
lie in thy hand as clay in the potter's, till thou finish thy
workmanship, and fit us vessels of mercy, to be filled with happiness,
when thou shalt have done thy good pleasure in us, and by us, in this
world, through the grace that is in Christ Jesus, who loved us, and
gave himself for us; to whom be glory, honor, and praise in the church
below, and in the general assembly above, now and ever. Amen.
"My love, my heart's love, to my dear Mrs. D----. I am ever your
affectionate friend, in the bonds of the gospel,
"ISABELLA GRAHAM."
Early in 1793 Mrs. Graham heard, from a worthy clergyman at
Greenock, who, at her request, paid attention to her son, that he had
been very ill of a fever, and subsequently subject to epileptic fits.
In one of these he had fallen from the mast-head, and was rendered
unfit for service for many months. The gentleman to whom he was
apprenticed, permitted him to leave. In these circumstances Mrs.
Graham addressed to him the following letter:
"MY LONG-LOST BUT STILL DEAR SON--If this ever reach you, hearken
to the voice of your mother, your only parent, and to the voice of God
by her. O, my son, you have had a long race in the service of Satan;
he has kept you in bondage and made you his drudge. You are far
advanced in the broad way that leads to destruction--to that place of
endless torment prepared for the devil and his angels, to which Satan
is dragging you. He has even been seeking the destruction of your
body, that he might have you secure.
"O, my son, think. Has he proved a good master? What have you
found in his service? and has he not disappointed all your gayest
hopes, and fed you with husks? Have you, my son, been happy? Are you
not obliged to drive away your own reflections? I know you are. Dare
you, my son, sit down and think over all the past, all the present,
and look forward to the future with any degree of comfort? My son, you
cannot. Hear then the word of the Lord; that Lord, that merciful Lord,
who has seen you in all your rebellion, heard every profane oath you
may have uttered, seen you rioting among the sons of Belial; yet what
is his voice to you? O, my son, it is not, 'Bind him hand and foot,
and cast him into the lake that burns with fire and brimstone; where
there is weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth, where the worm
dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.' No, my son, the door of
mercy is still open to you; the Lord calls, 'O sinner, thou hast
destroyed thyself, but in me is thy help.' Only repent, so iniquity
shall not prove your ruin.' 'Hearken unto me, ye stout-hearted, that
are far from righteousness: I bring near my righteousness; it shall
not be far off, and my salvation shall not tarry.' 'Hear, and your
soul shall live.' 'Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be
saved'--saved from hell; saved from Satan and his snare; saved from
the force of corruption in your heart.
"I do not call upon you, my poor corrupt boy, to turn from sin
and work righteousness in your own strength; this you can no more do
than the Ethiopian can change his skin; but I do call upon you to
receive the whole of God's salvation, and power to resist sin is a
principal part of it. In God's word it is said, that the Lord gave
Christ to be a covenant to the people: we have to covenant with him on
our part; we are all poor, lost, miserable creatures, I as well as
you, by nature; but the Lord Christ is God's gift to sinners. All the
other promises are made to those who have received and accepted of
this gift; but Christ himself is God's gift to sinners--to the chief
of sinners--_to you, John Graham, by name_; and the Bible says,
to as many as receive him, to them gives he power to become the sons
of God. God gave Christ to become the price in our hand; we take this
gift, and offer back, as the price of our redemption, his atoning
sacrifice, his all-perfect righteousness; and on this ground we are
entitled, by his own plan, which he prepared from first to last, to
plead for the full accomplishment of all the promises in the Bible:
for the pardon of sin; yea, for an entire new nature.
"O, my son, open your Bible, go to your knees, look out words
there fit for your case; present them humbly before God, turn all the
promises you find there, all the offers, all the calls, all the
commands, all the threatenings into prayer--for you of yourself can do
nothing--and ask that God, for Christ's sake, may pour out on you the
spirit of prayer. I know not how to have done; yet I well know, unless
the Lord soften your poor obdurate heart, it will still remain hard.
O, my son, be willing to put it in his hand, to receive his salvation,
and give yourself up to his guiding. I beg you will read with care the
15th chapter of the gospel of Luke. The Lord spoke these parables to
show how very willing he is to receive returning sinners. Your mother
and all your sisters are willing to follow his example; return to us,
my son. We will watch over you we will pray over you, and we will try,
by every endearing method, to restore you not only to health, but to
comfort. Your sisters wish you to come; all your friends are willing
to receive you; we will not upbraid you.
"Do, my dear, leave Greenock; come out to us by any way you can
find, I will pay your passage here; or if you can get to any port in
America, you can write me from that, and I will get you forwarded
here; and, after you are here, if you still wish to follow the sea, we
can get you a berth in some trading vessel from this. All your friends
here send best wishes. And now, my son, I commend you to the Lord. O,
that he may bless this to you,
"Your affectionate mother,
"I. GRAHAM."
The last intelligence that Mrs. Graham received of her
unfortunate son was in a letter from himself, dated Demarara, 1794, in
which he states that he had sailed from Amsterdam in a Dutch vessel;
was taken by the French, and retaken by the English; had arrived at
Demarara in the ship Hope; and should he not soon hear from his
mother, would return to Europe with a fleet which was shortly to sail
under convoy. Mrs. Graham notices this event as follows:
"NEW YORK, February 20, 1794.
"This day I have a letter from my poor wanderer. It is more than
a year since I heard of him. Accept of my thanks, good and gracious
Lord. I feared his cup had been full, and he called out of the world
with all his sins on his own head; for I have no tidings of his
turning from his sinful courses, or fleeing from the wrath to come, by
taking hold of the hope set before him.
"I bless thee, Oh, I bless thee, for thy sparing mercy, thy
long-suffering, thy patience, thy forbearance. Yea, even to him, thou
hast been more than all this. Thou hast been his preserver, his
provider; thou hast watched over him in many imminent dangers, in the
great deeps, in burning and in frozen climes.
"Thou hast followed him with thy preserving mercy and temporal
bounty. He is still in the land of the living, and among those who are
called to look unto thee and live. Still thou feedest my hopes of
better things for him. Thou sufferest my prayers to lie on the table
of thy covenant. I will trust, I will hope, I will believe, that in an
accepted time thou wilt hear me, and in a day of thy power thou wilt
bow his stubborn will, and lay him an humble suppliant at thy feet.
Oh, I trust thou wilt bring this poor prodigal to himself, and turn
his steps towards his Father's house. See how he feeds with the swine
upon husks, and even these not his own. O turn his thoughts to his
'Father's house, where there is bread enough, and to spare.'
"'Lord, remember thy gracious word, on which thou hast caused me
to hope,' and which has ever been my comfort in the time of my
affliction, and in my straits my only relief.
"He is again launched into thy great ocean. Lord, he is far from
every friend and from every means of grace, and for any thing I know,
far from thee by wicked works; under thy curse and hateful in thy
sight; but thou, God, seest him. Means are not necessary, if thou
willest to work without. Thou canst find an avenue to his heart at
once. Dead as he is, vile as he is, guilty as he is, far from help of
man, and in the most unlikely situation to receive the help of God,
yet I know all these hinderances, all these mountains shall melt as
wax at thy presence.
"Lord, I believe, thou knowest I believe, that if thou but speak
the word, this dead soul shall live; this vile, this guilty soul shall
be cleansed, shall be renewed, and my son be changed to an humble,
thankful, genuine child of God, through the cleansing blood of
atonement, through the imputation of the Redeemer's righteousness and
the implantation of thy Spirit. I can do nothing for him, but thou
canst do all this. I wait for it, Lord, I wait for thy salvation.
Lord, let there be 'joy in heaven over this one sinner repenting.' I
roll him on thee. I trust in thy sovereign, free, unmerited mercy in
Christ. Amen."
All inquiries instituted by kind friends respecting this son
proved fruitless; and as a vessel named the Hope was some months after
reported as having been taken by the French, it is perhaps probable
that he died in a French prison.
Thus again had his afflicted mother to exercise faith and
submission, not without hope towards God that the great Redeemer had
taken care of, and would finally save this prodigal son. She had known
a case in her father's family, which excited their solicitude and
encouraged her hope. Her younger brother, Archibald Marshall, a lad of
high temper, though possessed of an affectionate heart, had gone to
sea, and was not heard of at all for several years. A pious woman, who
kept a boarding-house in Paisley, found one of her boarders one day
reading Doddridge's Rise and Progress of Religion in the Soul, with
Archibald Marshall's name written on the blank leaf. On inquiry, the
stranger told her that he got that book from a young man on his
death-bed as a token of regard. That young man was Archibald Marshall;
he was an exemplary Christian, "and I have reason," added he, "to
bless God that he ever was my mess-mate." The woman who heard this
account, transmitted it to Mr. Marshall's family, who were known to
her. Mrs. Graham had no such consolatory account afforded to her; but
under much yearning of heart she left this concern, as well as every
other, to the disposal of that God "who doeth all things well."
Again she sings of mercy in a sweet meditation.
"NEW YORK, October 1, 1794
"'Return unto thy rest, O my soul, for the Lord hath dealt
bountifully with thee.'
"Blessed be the Lord, for he hath showed me his marvellous
loving-kindness in a strong city--Christ, the city of refuge.
"Thou hast given me my heart's desire, and hast not withholden
the request of my lips. 'One thing have I desired of the Lord,' and
through life sought after for myself and the children whom thou hast
given me; 'that all the days of our lives we might dwell in the house
of the Lord,' behold his beauty, and inquire in his holy temple; that
in the time of trouble he would hide us in his pavilion, in the secret
of his tabernacle, and set our feet upon a rock.
"O thou incarnate God; thou blessed temple not made with hands;
thou blessed pavilion, in which thy people hide in the time of
trouble, and are safe; thou Rock of ages, on which we build our hopes
for time and eternity, and defy the assaults of sin, Satan, and the
world: thou, Jehovah Jesus, art all these to thy people. Thou
broughtest them 'from a fearful pit and from the miry clay; thou
settest their feet upon this spiritual rock, and establishest their
goings; thou puttest a new song in their mouths, even praise unto
their God.' Many have seen it and sung it; many now see and sing it;
many shall see and sing it, and trust in the Lord. They find in thee
all that is expressive of life; all that is expressive of safety; all
that is expressive of comfort; all that is expressive of happiness.
"'O how many are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and
thy thoughts which are to us-ward; they cannot be reckoned up in order
unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than
can be numbered.' Thou, thy blessed self, art the sum and substance of
every good to man. All this I know; all this have I at different times
experienced; and yet my heart is heavy, my spirits depressed. There is
no cause, Oh no. Thy very afflictive providences have met my wishes,
and been so many answers to my prayers.
"Thou Husband of the widow, thou Father of the fatherless, O how
fully, how manifestly hast thou fulfilled these relations to thy
worthless servant. Thou, in my early widowhood, didst call me to leave
my fatherless children on thee, annexing the promise that thou wouldst
preserve them alive.
"Thou didst put it into my heart to plead the promise in a
spiritual sense; to ask, to hope, to wait for the new birth, the life
which Christ died to purchase, and lives to bestow.
"In three of these fatherless I have seen thy work. Long did the
grain of mustard-seed lie buried among the weeds of worldly-mindedness;
long were my hopes and fears alternate; but now the blessed
discipline of the covenant has been exercised; I have witnessed it, I
have felt it--suffered the rod with them and for them, but waited for
the fruits in hope; and glory to thee, dear Husband and Father, I
have not waited in vain. Thou hast written _vanity,_ and opened our
eyes to read vanity written on every earthly enjoyment, except so far
as thou art enjoyed in them. Thou hast enabled not only thine aged
servant, but her children, to put a blank into thy hand, and to say,
'Choose thou for us.' We take hold of thy covenant, and choose it for
our portion. Is not this, O Lord, the full amount of my desires? Thou
wilt finish the work in thy own time, and by means of thy appointing.
Amen. Lord, do as thou hast said."
CHAPTER V.
DEATH OF HER DAUGHTER--FIRST MISSIONARY
SOCIETY IN NEW YORK.
In July, 1795, Mrs. Graham's second daughter, Joanna, was married
to Mr. Divie Bethune, merchant in New York. In the following month her
eldest daughter, Mrs. Stevenson, was seized with a fatal illness.
Possessing a most amiable disposition and genuine piety, she viewed
the approach of death with the composure of a Christian and the
intrepidity of faith.
She had been in delicate health for some years, and now a
complication of disorders denied all hope of recovery. She sung a hymn
of triumph until the struggles of death interrupted her. Mrs. Graham
displayed great firmness of mind during the last trying scene, and
when the spirit of her daughter fled, the mother raised her hands, and
looking towards heaven, exclaimed, 'I wish you joy, my darling.' She
then washed her face, took some refreshment, and retired to rest.
Such was her joy of faith at the full salvation of her child; but
when _the loss of her company_ was felt, the tenderness of a
mother's heart afterwards gave vent to feelings of affectionate
sorrow: nature will feel, even when faith triumphs. In her devout
meditations before God, Mrs. Graham improves this event as follows:
"OCTOBER 4, 1795.
"Why, O why is my spirit still depressed? Why these sobs? Father,
forgive. 'Jesus wept.' I weep, but acquiesce. This day two months the
Lord delivered my Jessie, _his Jessie,_ from a body of sin and
death, finished the good work he had begun, perfected what concerned
her, trimmed her lamp, and carried her triumphing through 'the valley
of the shadow of death.' She overcame through the blood of the Lamb.
"I rejoiced in the Lord's work, and was thankful that the one,
the only thing I had asked for her, was now completed. I saw her
delivered from much corruption within, from strong and peculiar
temptation without. I had seen her often staggering, sometimes falling
under the rod; I had heard her earnestly wish for deliverance from
sin, and when death approached she was more than satisfied: said she
had been a great sinner, but she had a great Saviour; praised him and
thanked him for all his dealings with her--for hedging her in, for
chastising her; and even prayed that sin and corruption might be
destroyed, if the body should be dissolved to effect it. The Lord
fulfilled her desire, and, I may add, mine. He lifted upon her the
light of his countenance; revived her languid graces; increased her
faith and hope; loosed her from earthly concerns, and made her rejoice
in the stability of his covenant, and to sing, 'All is well, all is
well; good is the will of the Lord.' I did rejoice, I do rejoice; but
O Lord, thou knowest my frame; she was my pleasant companion, my
affectionate child; my soul feels a want. O fill it up with more of
thy presence; give yet more communications of thyself.
"We are yet one in Christ our head--united in him; and though she
shall not return unto me, I shall go to her, and then our communion
will be more full, more delightful, as it will be perfectly free from
sin. Christ shall be our bond of union, and we shall be fully under
the influence of it.
"Let me then gird up the loins of my mind, and set forward to
serve my day and generation, to finish my course. The Lord will
perfect what concerns me; and when it shall please him, he will
unclothe me, break down these prison-walls, and admit me into the
happy society of his redeemed and glorified members: then 'shall he
wipe away all tears from my eyes,' and I shall taste the joys which
are at his right hand, and be satisfied for evermore."
Mrs. Graham made it a rule to appropriate _a tenth_ part of
her earnings to be expended for pious and charitable purposes. She had
taken a lease of two lots of ground on Greenwich-street from the
corporation of Trinity church, with a view of building a house on them
for her own accommodation; the building, however, she never commenced.
By a sale of the lease, which her son Mr. Bethune made for her in
1795, she got an advance of one thousand pounds. So large a profit was
new to her. "Quick, quick," said she, "let me appropriate the tenth
before my heart grows hard." What fidelity in duty; what distrust of
herself. Fifty pounds of this money she sent to Mr. Mason in aid of
the funds he was collecting for the establishment of a Theological
Seminary. Her own version of this matter we have in a letter to her
familiar friend Mrs. Walker, of Edinburgh:
"1795.
"MY DEAR MRS. WALKER--My last informed you that we had been
made to taste of the Lord's visitation--the yellow-fever--but in
great mercy had been spared in the midst of much apparent danger. I
have now in my house a girl who lost both father and mother, and
many whole families were cut off; my house was emptied; my school
broken up; we confined to town, and heavy duty laid upon us at the
same time. I trembled again for fear of debt; but 'the Lord brought
meat out of the eater.'
"Three years ago, when tried by having one house taken over my
head, another bought, and obliged to move three times in as many
years, some speculating genius brought me under the influence of the
madness of the times, and persuaded me I might build without money. It
is quite common here to build by contract. I could not purchase
ground, but I leased two lots of church land, got a plan made out, and
worried myself for six months, trying to hatch chickens without eggs.
I had asked the Lord to build me a house, to give success to the
means, still keeping in view covenant provision, 'what is good the
Lord will give.' After many disappointments I said, Well; I have
asked--I am refused--it is not good--the Lord will not give it: he
will provide, but in his own way, not mine.
"Of course I had to pay ground-rent, which in three years
amounted to two hundred and twenty dollars. I think I hear you say, I
never could have believed that Mrs. Graham could be guilty of such
folly--nor I; but seeing and hearing of many such things, I fancied
myself very clever. Last year a basin was formed, and wharves around
it, opposite to the said lots; the epidemic raging on the other side
of the city brought all the vessels that came in round to them, and
great expectations were formed for this new basin; houses and stores
sprung up like mushrooms, and Mr. Bethune sold my lease for one
thousand pounds. Lo, and behold, part of it is already spent. All my
provision through this wilderness has been so strongly marked by
peculiar providences, my mind seems habituated to a sense of
certainty. I feel my portion of earthly good safer and better in my
Lord's hand than in my own."
In the ensuing year we find the following outbreathings of her
rich Christian experience:
"JANUARY 3, 1796.
"'Rejoice in the Lord alway, and again I say, rejoice. Let
your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.'
Philippians 4:4-7.
"'Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and
supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto
God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep
your hearts and minds, through Christ Jesus.'
"Christ Jesus! what does not this name comprehend? He is mine,
and all is mine. I do rejoice in the Lord, yea, more or less, I
rejoice always. This heart of mine is sensible to every human
affliction; my tears flow often and fast: I weep for myself, and still
more for others; but in these very moments of heart-wringing
bitterness, there is a secret joy that Jesus is near; that he sees,
knows, and pities. He is Jehovah as well as Jesus, and could have
prevented the affliction under which I groan; but for my good, and the
good of those near and dear to me, he suffered it, or prepared it. The
good of his people is connected with his glory; they cannot be
separated: therefore, Father, glorify thy name; I rejoice, and will
rejoice. The Lord can remove, and will remove the affliction the
moment it has answered the gracious purpose for which it was sent. I
would not wish it one moment sooner. While it lies heavy, he is my
almighty friend, my rest, my staff of support.
"'In the time of trouble, he shall hide me in his pavilion; in
the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon
a rock." Psalm 27:5.
"'The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in
him, and I am helped, therefore my heart greatly rejoiceth; with my
song I will praise him,' and in his strength and by his grace, let
my 'moderation be known unto all men.' My Lord is at hand--at hand
to support, at hand to overrule, at hand to deliver. Therefore I
rejoice always.
"Blessed be God for the heart-easing, heart-soothing privilege of
casting all my cares upon him, and for the blessed assurance that he
careth for me and mine: that he allows, invites, yea, commands me to
be careful for nothing, but in all things, by prayer and supplication,
with thanksgiving, to let my requests be made known unto him, who is
man, and touched with the feeling of our infirmities--Jesus wept--and
God, the almighty God, to support, overrule, deliver. Therefore my
heart rejoiceth always."
"MAY 16, 1796.
"'If his children forsake my law, and walk not in my judgments,
if they break my statutes and keep not my commandments, then will I
visit their transgression with the rod, and their iniquity with
stripes: nevertheless, my loving-kindness will I not utterly take from
him, nor suffer my faithfulness to fail; my covenant will I not break,
nor alter the thing that is gone out of my lips.' Psalm 89: 30. Amen;
blessed promise. Oh, it is a well-ordered covenant, and it is sure. Of
all the provisions of the covenant, this has been to my soul among the
most comfortable. Thanks be to God for the discipline of the covenant;
often has it been administered: thou knowest, and I know in part, how
necessarily, although I shall not know nor understand all, until that
blessed rod shall have perfected its correction, and shall never more
be lifted up.
"Many ups and downs has thy servant experienced in this vale of
tears; many tears have watered these now aged cheeks; in a variety of
ways hast thou stricken, and at times stripe has followed stripe, but
mercy and love accompanied every one of them. I bless thee, Oh, I
praise thee, that I have seldom received a stripe but I had with it a
token of love. Sin was imbittered, a Saviour endeared, and grace given
to kiss the rod, and cleave to him that had appointed it. And now I
can read in legible characters where, in many instances, thy check met
my wandering steps, stopt me short of huge precipices, and preserved
me from destroying even my worldly comfort. In some instances--I thank
thee they have not been many--thou hast been pleased to let me alone,
to let me pursue my own way, ways so wise in my own eyes that I have
either not sought counsel at all, or sought it as Balaam did, with my
heart set on my own will.
"In some cases thou hast let me eat of the fruit of my own
doings, and let me weary myself in my own way, until I found it not
only vanity and vexation of spirit, but sometimes a labyrinth from
which I could find no escape: then did I cry unto the Lord; then did I
remember my backslidings; then did I seek unto the cleansing fountain
and to the appointed Mediator, the maker up of the breach: then did I
experience afresh the Lord's power to save.
"In how many instances has he given a sudden turn to providences,
which have been made means of my deliverance; not only so, but brought
good out of my evil, so that I have been made to wonder, and to say,'
Surely this is the finger of God.'
"I destroy myself, but in thee is my help found. O let these
wanderings end; fix it deep on my mind, that in the Lord only have I
wisdom as well as strength: that 'it is not in man that walketh, to
direct his steps.' When shall I learn to live simply on Christ, by
the light of his pure unerring word, and the Spirit coinciding; and
have done with these carnal reasonings, the wisdom of men. 'Search
me, O Lord, and know my heart; try me, and know my thoughts, and
see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way
everlasting.' Amen."
"MAY 28, 1796.
"This is the anniversary of my dear Jessie's birth, no more to
call us together here; but I yet remember it as a day in which our God
Was merciful to me, and made me the mother of an heir of salvation. I
bless, I praise my covenant God, who enabled me to dedicate her to him
before she was born, and to ask only one thing for her as for myself,
even an interest in his great salvation, leaving it to him to order
the means, time, and manner, as of her natural birth and ripening age,
so of her spiritual birth and ripening for glory; he accepted the
charge, and he has finished the work, to his own glory, to her eternal
happiness, and my joy and comfort. I have witnessed remaining
corruption fighting hard against her, and bringing her again and again
into captivity to the law of sin and death warring against her. I have
seen the rod of God lie heavy upon her, according to the tenor of the
covenant, when she forsook his laws and went astray: when she walked
not in his judgments, but wandered from his way, he visited her faults
with rods and her sins with chastisements, but his loving-kindness he
never took from her, though he often hid it, nor altered the word
which he had spoken, that he would never leave her, never forsake her;
that in due time he would deliver her from all her enemies. I
perceived her desires to be delivered from the world and the body, and
taken home to the bosom of her God, since that appeared at times the
only way she could be delivered from sin. I heard her lament her
unfruitfulness, her unsteadiness: I heard her exclaim, 'Oh, what a
sinner, what a great sinner;' and, 'Oh, what a Saviour; O the goodness
of God in hedging me in, and saving me from myself; his covenant
stands fast, it is established, it is sure.' I witnessed a God
pardoning sin, yet taking vengeance on inventions. I witnessed the
sinner, after being sixteen years in the school of Christ, taught by
his ministers, and most effectually by his rod, taking shelter in 'the
city of refuge,' in the atonement of God's providing, and in 'a surety
righteousness,' and finishing her struggles with, 'All is well.' My
heart echoed, and does echo, and will to all eternity, 'All is well.'
Glory to God; sing, not unto her, not unto me, not unto any creature,
but 'to God be the glory,' that she is now delivered from 'a body of
sin and death, and made meet to be a partaker with the saints in
light.' HALLELUJAH."
"JUNE, 1796.
"'I was glad when they said unto me, Let us go into the house of
the Lord.' Psalm 122.
"'The house of the Lord, whither the tribes go up, the tribes
of the Lord, unto the testimony of Israel, to give thanks unto the
name of the Lord,' to seek his face, to learn his will, to taste his
love, to behold his' glory, to enjoy God as their own God and
reconciled Father.
"Lord, let my heart be warmed more towards thy house; I have
sought and found thee in thy sanctuary, read thy providences, and been
taught thy will; I have tasted thy love and beheld thy glory; I have
enjoyed thy presence as my own reconciled Father in Christ Jesus; I
have been satisfied with thy goodness, as with marrow and fatness; and
yet how cold and languid at times, how little desire to return, how
small my expectations, how wandering my imagination. How do I sit
before thee as thy people, and my heart with the fool's eyes at the
ends of the earth. Lord, I should blush and be ashamed were a
fellow-mortal to see my heart at times. I may hide my eyes from
viewing vanity, but the evil lies within. O Lord, thou knowest the
cause. After all I have heard, seen, tasted, and handled of the word
of life, I am still of myself an empty vessel, unable to speak a good
word, or think a good thought. Great are thy tender mercies, O Lord.
'Quicken me according to thy word; turn thou away my eyes from
beholding vanity, and quicken me in thy way: then shall I run in the
way of thy commandments when thou hast enlarged my heart.'
"The house of God; the owner, the builder, and maker is God,
and it is his peculiar treasure. Christ is the foundation and chief
corner-stone, and his house are we, built upon him, cemented
together, a spiritual building; the foundation cannot fail, the
corner-stone can never give way; neither can we fall to pieces, or
be separated from him.
"The house of God; 'Jerusalem, Zion, the rest of God, where he
delights to dwell,' where he will for ever stay; the house of God, the
church, yea, the body of Christ: Christ the head, his people the
church, his members whose life is in him, and derived from him; and
because he lives we shall live also. Lord, enlarge my understanding to
comprehend more and more of the height and depth, length and breadth
of the love of Christ, which passeth all understanding. Open my eyes
to behold wondrous things in thy law and gospel. I am as yet but a
babe; glory to God that I am what I am, a babe in Christ. I shall be
nourished with life and strength from my divine Head; educated and
nurtured by the blessings of the new covenant. I shall arrive at the
perfection of stature appointed, and stand in my lot at the latter
day. Amen."
"AUGUST 4, 1796.
"A day to be remembered. Rose at four, not to mourn--no, but to
repeat my grateful thanks to my covenant God for the work he finished
this day last year, in delivering my weak, feeble, tossed, and tried
Jessie from a body of sin and death, and giving her 'the victory
through Jesus Christ, who loved her and gave himself for her.' To thee
she was dedicated ere she saw the light; to thee a thousand times I
repeated the dedication, begging that thou mightest bring her within
the bond of thy covenant; this was the sum and substance of all my
askings for her. I witnessed the time of her second birth, saw the
tears of conviction and remorse. I witnessed thy loosing her bonds,
and tuning her heart and tongue to praise redeeming love. I witnessed
the teaching of thy Spirit, and the enlightening of her eyes, and the
taste thou gavest her of thy salvation; I thought her mountain stood
strong, and she would not be easily moved; but who can tell the
deceitfulness of the human heart? Too soon did we all turn aside like
a deceitful bow, forsook the fountain of living waters, and hewed out
broken cisterns that could hold no water. Glory to God for the
discipline of the covenant, that he did not cast us off, but chastened
and corrected. He repeated the discipline stripe upon stripe: I stood
by and saw it, and though my heart melted at times, I said, 'She is in
her Father's hand, let him do his pleasure.'
"I too was unfaithful to her, thou knowest, and often entered
into the same vanity of mind, which stifled the love of God in our
hearts, instead of guarding her and warning her; still, still the
Shepherd of Israel followed after both, and with the precious rod
restored both, time after time, till it pleased thee to finish her
warfare, and deliver her from both body and sin. Lord, I thank thee
for all the circumstances, for the privilege of attending her in her
warfare, for the cheerfulness of her spirits, for the rich support we
all experienced, for the view we all had of thy faithfulness and
fatherly dealing, and for her last words, 'All is well.' O yes, every
thing thou doest is well, and this was peculiarly well. I resigned her
to thee with joy and thankfulness, and I still acquiesce. Her thou
hast taken, me thou hast left, to be yet exercised with further
discipline. It is well; thy will be done. O help me to profit by every
pang. Let sin be mortified and my soul be purified; enlarge my heart
to run the ways of thy commandments. Now may I lay aside every weight,
and that vanity of mind which doth so easily beset me, and hath been
the secret spring of much backsliding both to myself and to my
children. Lord, destroy it.. O let me now live to God, closely and
consistently; down with my will, with self in every form. O purify my
motives, and let my whole heart, soul, body, substance, and influence
in the world be devoted to thee. Empty me of every thing that is my
own, and let 'Christ live in me the hope of glory,' and let the glory
of thy workmanship in my soul redound to thee, and thee alone. Amen."
"AUGUST 13, 1796.
"'As ye have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him,
rooted and built up in him, and established in the faith, as ye have
been taught, abounding therein with thanksgiving.' Colossians 2:6.
"O Lord, this is what I pant after. I would fain have done with
wandering, Lord, thou knowest, for the work is thine. I have
received the Lord Jesus as thy gift to a lost world, as thy gift to
me an individual of that world, as having made peace by the blood of
the cross. I account it a faithful saying, worthy of all
acceptation, that 'Christ came into the world to save sinners, of
whom I am chief,' I have received thee as the Lord my righteousness,
crediting thy own word, that 'Christ is the end of the law for
righteousness,' and that 'there is no condemnation to them that are
in Christ Jesus.' I have received thee as 'the covenant given of the
people.' In all the relations by which thou art held out to me in
this Bible, so far as I know or understand, I have received thee. I
have no hope in myself, no trust in myself, nor any views of
communication from God of any kind, but through the one 'mediator
between God and man, the man Christ Jesus.'
"O my God, what is my life, what is my happiness but a continual
receiving? Thou art 'the bread of life' that must keep alive the
living principle in my soul. In thee 'dwelleth all the fulness of the
Godhead bodily.' Thy people are complete in thee; thou art their head,
they are thy body, and by joints and bands have nourishment ministered
to them, and are knit together, and increase with the increase of God.
"This, O this is what my soul pants after, closer and more
intimate union and communion. I would be transformed into thine image;
I would be thy temple; I would have thee live in me, walk in me, make
me one with thee; I would be delivered from self-will, self-wisdom,
self-seeking; I would be delivered from that philosophy and vain
deceit which spoils souls and leads them off from their head: then,
and not till then, shall I cease to wander, shall 'run and not be
weary, walk and not faint.' Then shall 'I run in the way of thy
commandments,' and no longer turn aside to crooked ways. Then shall I
eat and drink, work and recreate, all to thy glory. Lord, send thy
Spirit into my heart, that he may continually take of the things of
Christ and show them unto me; that I may grow and be no longer a babe,
but arrive at the fulness of stature in Christ Jesus, and more
steadily, and more purely, and more zealously, and O, more humbly live
to God, and glorify him in the world. Amen."
The following extracts of letters to her friend Mrs. Walker, show
how ardently the true missionary spirit burned in the heart of Mrs.
Graham, and how efficiently it was exemplified, not only in her
pecuniary donations, but her active and self-denying efforts to
diffuse information and enlist others in so worthy a cause. The
efforts alluded to in the first extract evidently gave rise to the
event recorded in the second, _the formation of the first Missionary
Society in New York._ It is delightful also to notice her
attachment to Christians of other denominations, and the gratitude
with which she remembered kindness received by herself when Providence
had cast her lot on what was truly missionary ground.
"Do you remember how much I used to say about our dear Methodist
Society in Antigua? and the three holy, harmless, zealous Moravian
brethren? and how the preachers gave each other the right hand of
fellowship, forgetting their differences, in that land of open
hostilities, on the kingdom of their common Lord? Thither the Lord
brought me from a land of entire barrenness, where, as far as I know,
a gospel sermon was never preached. Here I was brought into great
affliction, and to pass through the severest trial that I ever
experienced before or since.
"'The Lord brought me into this fold, a poor straggling lamb, who
had for five years herded among the goats; and little difference was
there between them and me, except that my soul longed after green
pastures and rejoiced to hear the shepherd's voice, and when I heard
it I knew it, though from one who did not belong to my original fold;
these good people nourished me with tenderness, bore with patience my
carnality. When my dear husband was taken ill, they wrestled for him
in prayer; Mr. Gilbert was every day with him; the Lord heard and gave
a joyful parting; yes, joyful, never did I experience such joy; then
they sympathized with and soothed the widowed heart, fed her with
promises, and in a measure established her: thus they wrought with God
in calling in one, and restoring another; never, never shall I forget
the labors of love of that dear little society.
"How many such stragglers as I may be wandering in both East and
West Indies, and may be restored by these precious missionaries. I owe
them, of my labors, more than others. I send you a bill for _fifty
pounds._ I have received eighteen copies of the Missionary
Magazine, as far as No. 9. I have got subscribers for them all, who
will continue; pay these, and send me what more numbers have been
published by the return of the Edinburgh packet, also eighteen
complete sets from the beginning. I hope to be successful in disposing
of them also. I suppose the sermons go to the same fund; send me a
hundred sermons, I will see to get them disposed of; send them single,
not bound, and of the best; perhaps they may pave the way for more to
follow; every little helps; drops make up the ocean. We cannot yet
produce anything; we are gathering intelligence, and endeavoring to
collect money; but I grudge that what we can spare should be idle in
the meantime; the cause is one; pay the magazines at once, and the
sermons if you have enough of my money. I hope to remit again in
September. I have a great wish to have a finger in your pie in some
way; if I must not subscribe past our own society, I may sell books
for yours.
"Ever, my dear friend, yours,
"I. GRAHAM."
To the same.
"1796-7.
"I thank my friend for her letter. I rejoice with you, and
bless the widow's God. He has indeed been so to us, to the full
amount of the promise. I have now much to sing of, little to
complain of; my dear girls and Mr. B---- go forward steadily, having
laid aside the weights of amusements and gayety, and seem determined
to follow the Lord fully through good and through evil report. Bless
the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits. We have a full
school, and a very comfortable set of girls. The Lord has delivered
from all heavy burthens.
"Last week a considerable number of ministers and lay Christians
met for the third time, and established a society for sending
missionaries among the Indians, and also among the poor scattered
settlers on the frontiers. A sermon was preached in the evening in one
of the Dutch churches, 'The liberal deviseth liberal things,' etc.,
after which an address was read by the Secretary--our dear Mr.
Mason--which, when printed, I will send you.
"The society is to keep up a correspondence with your and the
other societies. If they can effect anything themselves, apart here in
America, well; if not, they will throw their subscriptions into the
common funds and get help from you. This view is very pleasant to us.
There is great need of itinerant preachers in our back settlements;
they are scattered, and no churches of any kind; even in some thick
settled counties they will not pay a minister. These are 'the highways
and hedges;' O that the Lord may compel them to come in.
"I. GRAHAM."
We next find Mrs. Graham administering consolation and imparting
instruction to a lady residing near Boston, Mrs. C----. With this lady
Mrs. Graham formed an acquaintance in New York, shortly after her
arrival in America. She was then a gay young widow; but having a
strong and cultivated mind, was delighted with Mrs. Graham and family;
and a friendship was formed between them, which ceased only with
their lives.
As a proof of her friendship, Mrs. C---- wished to introduce her
young female friends into gay fashionable society. This Mrs. Graham
opposed; and while she stated her reasons she endeavored to persuade
her young friend to come out from the world and cast in her lot with
the people of God.
"A word spoken in due season, how good it is." This was verified
in the case of Mrs. C----, who, like her friend, was destined to enter
the heavenly kingdom "through much tribulation." She afterwards
entered the marriage state, and became a second time a widow while her
children were still young; and though not destitute, her income was
considerably reduced; which circumstances may throw light on parts of
Mrs. Graham's letters. Unhappily there was no evangelical minister
near her place of residence, which, with the want of early religious
training, may account for so much darkness as to her spiritual state.
Mrs. Graham often visited her, and it pleased God in due time to
scatter the darkness. Mrs. C---- for many years fully enjoyed the
consolations of religion. She trained up her children according to the
maxims of her friend, and had the happiness of seeing them following
in her steps. One, Mrs. J.W., she saw depart in peace; and her own
dying-bed was soothed by the prayers and attentions of her son, an
esteemed and highly useful clergyman in one of our populous cities. As
Mrs. C---- adopted the signature of _Pilgrim,_ the letters to her
inserted in the former editions of this memoir, are noticed as
addressed to P----.
To Mrs. C----, a Lady near Boston.
"FEBRUARY 10, 1797.
"MY EVER DEAR FRIEND--The desire of waiting you a long letter has
occasioned too much delay on my part. One thing I can assure you of,
you have been much on my mind, and the subject of all our prayers.
"Tears of joy ran down my cheeks when J---- told me the state
of your mind, and I thank our good and gracious God for opening your
eyes to see the vanity of this world, the corruption of your own
heart, your need of atoning blood, and of a better righteousness
than your own. Hail, my sister in Jesus; flesh and blood hath not
taught you this, but your Father who is in heaven: the work is his,
evidently his; and being begun, he will carry it on, and finish it
too. Commit your soul then into his hand; he 'came not to call the
righteous, but _sinners_ to repentance;' his errand to our world was
to seek and to save the _lost_. Trusting in his mercy, through
Christ, your soul is as safe as his word is true; for none perish
that trust in him.
"'Trust in the Lord with all thy heart, and lean not to thine own
understanding;' be not discouraged because of deadness, darkness,
wandering, want of love, want of spirituality, want of any kind. Who
told you of these evils and wants? the Sun of righteousness shining
into your soul has shown you many of the evils there, but the half you
know not yet. The more you learn of the holiness and purity of the
divine nature and the spirituality of his law, the more you will be
dissatisfied with every thing yours. Even a holy apostle said, 'In me,
that is, in my flesh,' or natural mind, dwelleth no good thing. The
flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; so
that the things that I would, I do not; and the things that I would
not, those I do. Yet it is not I,' not my new nature, 'but sin that
dwelleth in me; for to will is present with me, but how to perform
that which is good I find not.'
"If this was the case with the apostle, who sealed his testimony
with his life, is it strange that you and I should have hearts full of
all abominable things? These realities are cause of deep humility
before God, but none of despair or doubt. All are alike guilty and
vile, the whole head is sick, and the whole heart unsound; therefore
we need a whole Christ to atone for our sin, to cover our naked souls
with his imputed righteousness, and to be surety for us; to sanctify
us by his Spirit, and prepare us for the purchased inheritance. O try
to rest in him: believe it, you are complete in him; give up, my dear
friend, poring over and diving into your own heart and frames, and try
to trust in an almighty Saviour to save you from foes without and foes
within. Read Romaine's Walk and Life of Faith: he himself attained to
a high degree of holiness by getting out of himself, and trusting,
resting, believing from day to day, for grace, for every duty, as it
occurred. The promise runs, 'As thy days so shall thy strength be.'
"I cannot at this distance, and knowing nothing of characters,
offer you any advice with respect to outward means; but if you know
any truly pious, spiritual minister, I should think it your duty to
lay open your mind to him. You may find in books matter as good as any
man living can speak; but it is the Lord's appointed way, and he often
honors his servants, his ministers, by making them messengers of peace
and comfort to his children. 'Are any sick, let them call for the
elders of the church, and let them pray over them.' See how the
Christians of old associated with one another. I am now doubly
yours, etc.,
"I.G."
"APRIL 14, 1797.
"Eternity seems very near. I have often thought so without any
visible cause. Well, it will come; a few more rolling years, months,
weeks, or days will assuredly land me on Canaan's happy shore. Then
shall I know and enjoy what ear hath not heard, eye seen, nor heart
conceived, even the blessedness that is at God's right hand. I have
desired, though I know not that I have asked, to glorify God on my
death-bed, and to leave my testimony at the threshold of eternity,
that not one word of all that my God has promised has failed. He has
been--O what has he not been?--in all my trials, all my afflictions,
all my temptations, all my wanderings, all my backslidings, he has
been all that the well-ordered covenant has said. Let this Bible tell
what God in Christ, by his Spirit and his providence, has been to me;
and let the same Bible say what he will be to me 'when flesh and heart
fails;' yea, when 'the place that now knows me shall know me no more.'
Perhaps when the messenger does come I shall not know him, but depart
in silence. Well, as the Lord wills; he knows best how to glorify
himself. Jesus shall trim my lamp and perfect his image on my soul,
sensible or insensible. I shall enter into his presence, washed in his
blood, clothed in his righteousness, and my sanctification perfected.
I shall 'see him as he is,' and be like him.
"Mourn not, my children, but rejoice; gird up the loins of your
mind,' and set forward on your heavenly journey through this
wilderness. So far as I have followed Christ, so far follow my
example; still living on Christ, depending on him for all that is
promised in the well-ordered covenant. O stumble not into the world
except when duty calls; at best it is a deadly weight, a great
hinderance to spiritual-mindedness, and in as far as it gets a footing
in your heart, it will not only mar your progress, but your comfort.
Lord, feed my children constantly with 'thy flesh and thy blood,' that
they may never hunger nor thirst for this world, but grow in the
divine life, and in the joy and comfort of the Holy Ghost. Amen."
"OCTOBER 20, 1797.
"How condescending is our covenant God. All we have or enjoy is
from his hand; he gave us our being; our lives, although forfeited a
thousand times, have been preserved. 'Our bread has been given us, and
our water sure;' and not only these necessaries, but many comforts and
good temporal things have fallen to our lot; 'thou hast furnished our
table,' hast provided medicines and cordials when sick. Lord, I thank
thee for all these mercies, but above all, that we can call thee our
reconciled Father; that we have them not as the world have them, who
are far from thee, and have no portion among thy children, nor
interest in thy well-ordered covenant; but that we have them as thy
redeemed, as part of covenant provision, and with a covenant blessing,
and among the _all things_ that work together for our good. Lord,
enable us to be rich in good works. How condescending, that thou
acceptest a part of thine own as freewill-offerings, and hast annexed
promised blessings to those who consider the poor; hast said, 'He who
giveth to the poor, lendeth to the Lord.'
"I thank thee that thou hast laid to hand a sufficiency to enable
me and mine to eat our own bread; even that which, according to the
regulations of society, men call our own. Thou only hast a right to
call it not so, for we are thine, and all that thou hast given us; but
of thy free bounty and kind providence, 'thou hast enabled us to
provide things honest and of good report in the sight of all men,' and
to give a portion to them who need.
"I trust thy Spirit has directed my judgment in the determination
I have taken to set apart, from time to time, this portion, according
as thou prosperest us in business, and preservest us in health and
ability to pursue it. I bless thee for indulgent, encouraging
appearances, that since I began the practice thou hast added to my
stock, and that which I have given has never straitened, but thou hast
prospered me more and more. My poor's purse has never been empty when
called for, neither has my family purse. Of thine own I give thee, and
bless thy name for the privilege.
"Grant direction with respect to whom, and how much to give."
The following meditations will afford refreshment to every
Christian heart:
"1797.
"'As ye have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him,
rooted and built up in him, and established in the faith, as ye have
been taught, abounding there in with thanksgiving.'
"Yes, just so, and no other way shall any poor corrupted creature
attain holiness, in the very same manner that he received the Lord
Jesus at first. He is' the Alpha; and Omega, the first and the last,
the beginning and the end.'
"O Lord, my Saviour, my complete Saviour, and in whom I am
complete, I received thee as my expiatory sacrifice, by whom atonement
was made for my sins; by whom reconciliation was made; I reconciled to
God, and God to me. I was then delivered from the power of darkness
and translated into the kingdom of God's dear Son, and have redemption
through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins. This same blood must
cleanse my daily spots, must cleanse my very best services; this same
blood must cleanse my conscience daily, and give me confidence in God,
as my reconciled Father. By this same peace-speaking blood I daily
present myself in his presence, and know that he sees no iniquity in
me so as to condemn me.
"O Lord, I receive thee as my justifying righteousness,
disclaiming all confidence in my own works, throwing them aside as
filthy rags. I place my sole dependence upon an imputed righteousness,
_that_ righteousness wrought out by thee as my surety, in thy
holy, meritorious life and death; believing thy testimony, that 'the
wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life, through
Jesus Christ our Lord.' Just so must I go on, trusting in, resting
upon, rejoicing in the Lord my righteousness. By one man's offence
many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one shall many, and I
among others, be made righteous. 'Christ is the end of the law for
righteousness,' therefore I walk at liberty, free from all dread of
condemnation. Not as a slave, not as a servant, not as a hireling, not
as a probationer; but as a child and heir of God, to whom the
inheritance is made sure. I have received the seal of the testament,
ratified and made sure by the death of the testator. All the blessings
contained in this Bible, the records of the well-ordered covenant, are
mine; and, Oh glorious truth, the testator died to ratify and insure
this testament; but he lives again, the glorious executor.
"O Lord, I received thee as my king: depending upon promised
strength, I swore allegiance to thee, and to thy government. Just so,
my dear sovereign Master, must I go on: rejoicing in its privileges,
subjecting myself cheerfully to its restrictions; studying with care
its positive commands, and setting myself to obey; submitting with
meekness to its discipline; claiming thy kingly power to subdue the
corruptions of my heart, to defend from foes within and foes without;
and when thou callest me to fight, to arm me for battle, and lead me
on to victory.
"I received thee as my divine Saviour, as the covenant of the
people: the covenant arranged, ratified, and fulfilled; to me a
covenant of free gift. Receiving thee, I received all the promises in
their fullest extent, as legally made over and confirmed to me by the
irrevocable gift of Deity: and in thee, as my Saviour, dwelleth all
the fulness of the Godhead bodily; yes, dwelleth in him for his
people, his ransomed; dwelleth in him as our head; we are united to
him, one with him, as he and the Father are one, and being one with
him, we are complete in him. He is the head, we the members; he is the
vine, we the branches; he is the foundation and chief corner-stone, we
the building. Thus let us walk in him; rooted and built up in him;
filled with the knowledge of his will, in all wisdom and spiritual
understanding; walking worthy of the Lord, unto all pleasing--being
fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God;
strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power; unto all
patience and long-suffering, with joyfulness; for it is he who worketh
in us both to will and to do of his good pleasure; and although of
ourselves we can do nothing, yet we can do all things through Christ
strengthening us; and he has promised, that 'as our days so shall our
strength be.'
"It is well, Lord, it is well. Thou art mine, and I am thine:
thou art mine with all thy fulness, what can I want besides? Nothing,
Lord. Thou hast given me 'the heritage of those that fear thy name;' I
am satisfied with my portion. Amen. Be my God and the God of my seed,
and glorify thy name in us."
"OCTOBER, 1797.
"'Remove far from me vanity and lies,' Psa. 119. Every deviation
from rectitude and truth is sin. Who that knows any thing of the
corruption of the human heart, and its strange tendency to stray, to
err, yea, even to pervert the plainest, simplest, and most obvious
truths, but must see the propriety of his joining the psalmist, and
crying out, Lord, remove far from me the way of lies.
"The way of lies as it respects our judgment and sentiments, as
it respects our motives of action, and as it respects our conduct.
"As it respects our judgment: how does every species of error
abound; even the serious and earnest seekers of truth differ in many
things, which, although they may not prevent their final salvation,
mar their progress in knowledge, in holiness, and in comfort. Lord,
remove far from us the way of lies. Lead us to the pure, unmixed,
unerring word of truth, as it respects our sentiments, and as it
respects our conduct. O how many deceive themselves by resting on a
speculative knowledge of the truth, or what they esteem such, while
their hearts remain unaffected, their tempers unsanctified, and their
lives unfruitful. Passionate, stubborn, relentless, unmerciful,
implacable tempers indulged and unmortified, must be a way of lies.
'Learn of me,' says the Saviour, 'for I am meek and lowly in heart,
and ye shall find rest to your souls.' 'The meek will he guide in
judgment,' the meek will he teach his way.
"'Remove far from me the way of lies, and teach me thy law
graciously.'
"'Teach me thy law graciously,' not the ceremonial and the moral
law alone, but the whole of God's revealed will. The psalmist knew the
law ceremonial and moral, but he wants more and more of the teaching
of the Spirit of God. 'He,' the Spirit of truth, 'shall take of mine,
and show it unto you.' The word of God is ever the same; it contains
the whole truth, and nothing but the truth; every thing necessary to
safety, to holiness, and happiness: but O, the difference between him
who reads with a mind enlightened by the Spirit of God, and him who
reads with no other assistance than his own poor blinded, darkened
reason. Teach me then thy law graciously. I will praise thee with
uprightness of heart, when I shall have learned thy judgments. 'Open
thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law.' The
psalmist thirsted after more and more extensive views of the word of
God, and still as his views were enlarged he desired more. 'The earth
is full of thy mercy,' verse 64; this was one lesson, but still he
cries, 'Teach me thy statutes. Thou hast dealt bountifully with me, O
Lord, according to thy word.' Still he cries, 'Teach me good judgment
and knowledge. It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I
might learn thy statutes.'"
"OCTOBER, 1797.
"I love to feel the kindlings of repentance, self-loathing under
a sense of ingratitude, heart-melting with the view of pardoning
grace. I love to feel the sprinkling of my Redeemer's blood on my
conscience, drawing forth the tears of joy and gratitude in the view
of a free pardon. I love to dwell on the seal of reconciliation, while
my heart, glowing with gratitude, sinks into the arms of my redeeming
Lord, in full confidence of his love and my safety for ever. I love to
feel longings after closer communion, after more conformity to his
image, more usefulness to my fellow-members of the body of Christ, and
to all his creatures. I love to feel deeply interested in the success
of the gospel, in the declarative glory of Jehovah, as manifested in
his works of creation and providence, but chiefly in the
superexcellent work of redemption: for 'thou hast magnified thy word
above all thy name.'"
CHAPTER VI.
FORMATION OF THE WIDOWS' SOCIETY--
CLOSE OF HER SCHOOL.
In November, 1797, the "Society for the Relief of Poor Widows
with small Children" was instituted at New York; a society which has
risen into great respectability, and has been productive of very
beneficent effects. The Lord, in his merciful providence, prepared
this institution, to grant relief to the many bereaved families who
were left widows and orphans by the ravages of the yellow-fever in the
years 1798 and 1799.
It took its rise from an apparently adventitious circumstance.
Mr. B----, in the year 1796, was one of the distributing managers of
the St. Andrew's Society. The distribution of this charity was of
course limited to a certain description of applicants. Mrs. B----,
interested for widows not entitled to share in the bounty of the St.
Andrew's Society, frequently collected small sums for their relief.
She consulted with a few friends on the propriety of establishing a
female society for the relief of poor widows with small children,
without limitation. Invitations in the form of circular letters were
sent to the ladies of New York, and a very respectable number
assembled at the house of Mrs. Graham. The proposed plan was approved,
and a society organized. Mrs. Graham was elected first directress,
which office she held for ten years.
At the semiannual meeting in March, 1798, Mrs. Graham made a very
pleasing report of the proceedings of the Managers, and of the amount
of relief afforded to the poor. The ladies of New York truly honored
themselves and religion by their zeal in this benevolent undertaking,
in reference to which Mrs. Graham says, in a letter to her friend
Mrs. Walker:
"I mentioned in my last that we had planned a society for the
relief of poor widows with small children: the success has been beyond
our most sanguine expectations. We have now a hundred and ninety
subscribers, at three dollars a year, and nearly a thousand dollars in
donations. We have spent three hundred dollars this winter, and nearly
all upon worthy objects. The poor increase fast: emigrants from all
quarters flock to us, and when they come they must not be allowed to
die for want. There are eight hundred in the almshouse, and our
society has helped along many, with their own industry, that must
otherwise have been there. The French, poor things, are also starving
among us; it would need a stout heart to lay up in these times."
In the same letter she informs her of the first monthly
missionary prayer-meeting known to have been held in the city of
New York.
"The second Wednesday in February we commenced our first monthly
meeting for prayer for the Lord's blessing on ours, and all the
missionary societies. It was far from full; but we must be thankful
for the day of small things, and pray, and wait, and hope. The Dutch
churches, the Baptist and Presbyterian have united so far as to
officiate in each other's churches; they have collected about
seventeen hundred dollars, and are looking out for two missionaries to
send among the Indians, or to the frontiers."
A few months later we find the following letter to a young man on
his joining the church:
"SEPTEMBER, 1798.
"MY DEAR YOUNG FRIEND--You have now ratified in a public manner
that transaction which, no doubt, passed previously in private between
you and your God. You have declared your belief of the gospel, and
have taken hold of God's covenant of promise. You have fallen in with
his own plan, which he has appointed for the salvation of guilty
sinners; and rested your soul upon his word of promise that you shall
be saved. You have, at the same time, dedicated and devoted your soul,
your body, your time, your talents, your substance, your influence,
all that you are and have, to be disposed of at his pleasure, and for
his glory, in the world. You are no longer your own. You are bought
with a price, adopted into the family of God, numbered with and
entitled to all the privileges of his children. Your motives of
action, your views, your interests, are all different from those of
the worldling. Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, your aim
must be, and will be, to do all to his glory. This must go with you,
and be your ruling principle in all the walks of life. By your
integrity, uprightness, diligence, and disinterested attention to the
interest of your employers, you will glorify God and have his presence
with you in business. By a due and marked observance of the Sabbath,
and attendance on the ordinances, you will glorify him. By regularity,
order, and temperance, crowned with an open acknowledgment of God
before all who may surround your board, you will glorify him in an
especial manner in these days of degeneracy, and, crowned with family
worship, you will glorify him, and his presence will be with you, and
great will be your comfort. God's interest in the world must also be
yours. The good of his church in general, and that of your own family
in particular; and O, my son, if you would be rich in comfort, follow
the Lord fully, and follow him openly; and if you would do it so as to
suffer the least from the sneer of the world, do it at once.
"Already you have received congratulations on your joining the
church, by those belonging to it; soon will it be known to those who
will scoff at it. But Christians and worldlings will look for
consistency; and if it be wanting, the last will be the first to mark
it. A decided character will soon deliver you from all solicitations
to what may be even unseemly, and dignified consistent conduct will
command respect. Not but the Lord may let loose upon you the
persecuting sneer and banter of the wise of this world, whose esteem
you wish to preserve; but, if he do, the trial will be particular, and
he will support you under it, and bring his glory and your good out
of it.
"And now, my son, suffer the word of exhortation. You have
entered the school of Christ, and have much to learn, far beyond what
men or books can of themselves teach, and you have much to receive on
divine credit, beyond what human reason can comprehend.
"I would recommend to you to read carefully, and pause as you
read, and pray as you read for the teaching of the Spirit, the epistle
of Paul to the Ephesians. Read it first without any commentary, and
read it as addressed to you, S---- A----. You will there find what may
in part stagger your reason; you will find what far surpasses your
comprehension; but yet read on, with conscious weakness, and
ignorance, and absolute dependence on divine teaching. When you have
read it through, then take Brown's or Henry's exposition of it.
"A degree of mystery, my son, runs through the whole of God's
revealed word; but it is _his_, and to be received with
reverence, and believed with confidence, because it is _his_. It
is to be searched with diligence, and compared; and, by God's teaching
and the assistance of his sent servants, the child of God becomes
mighty in the Scriptures. Let not mystery stagger you: we are
surrounded with mysteries; we ourselves are mysteries inexplicable:
nor let the doctrine of election stagger you; how small a part of
God's ways do we know, or can comprehend! rejoice that he has given
you the heritage of his people--leave the rest to him: 'Shall not the
Judge of all the earth do right?'
"Jesus took once a little child and set him in the midst of the
people, and said, 'Except ye be converted, and become as little
children, ye cannot enter the kingdom of heaven,' intimating with what
simplicity and docility men ought to receive the gospel; and the
following text also alludes to this: 'Suffer little children to come
unto me, and forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of heaven.'
There are many promises made to the diligent searchers after truth:
'Then shall we know, if we follow on to know the Lord.' 'The secret of
the Lord is with them that fear him; and he will show them his
covenant.' Yet the highly enlightened Paul calls the gospel a mystery,
and godliness a mystery; 'for now we see through a glass darkly; but
then face to face: now I know in part; but then,' in heaven, 'shall I
know even as also I am known.' Therefore, while you use all diligence,
accompanied with prayer and the expositions of God's faithful
ministers, to understand every part of divine revelation, be neither
surprised nor disheartened at the want of comprehension, far less
attempt to reduce it to human reason, as many have done to their ruin.
The Scripture says, 'Vain man would be wise, though born like the wild
ass's colt.' 'The wisdom of this world is foolishness with God.'
"I. GRAHAM."
Again we have the following merited strictures by one taught from
above, on a passage in Pope's Essay on Man.
"1798.
"'Glows in the stars and blossoms in the trees.'
"There the poet must stop: thus far the natural mind, richly
endowed with human powers, can go and trace a God of power, wisdom,
and beneficence: O that thou hadst had eyes to see, and discern what
flesh and blood could never reach; that all these glories dwindle into
tapers, when compared with Jehovah manifested in the face of Jesus
Christ. Every star, every tree, all vegetating, bursting, blooming
life, answer the end of their creation, manifesting his glory as thou
sayest; but can they tell thee how this God can be just, and yet
justify those who have rebelled against all his attributes; torturing
even his fair and beautiful creation, and bringing it into subjection
to their lusts, as thou hast well sung; murmuring at, and rebelling
against his dispensations in providence; hardening themselves against
his government; perverting every good to their own misery, and
imbibing wretchedness from means of blessedness? Can all that thou
hast sung bring into congeniality perfection of wickedness and
perfection of holiness, perfection of wretchedness and perfection of
happiness, perfect opposition in nature and principle? Here thy song
stops short. Thou seest the evils and the misery; thou hast a glimpse
of an opposite good, but all means proposed by thee ever have proved,
and ever will prove inadequate to the attainment of it: the very
attributes of a just and holy God oppose it: heaven and earth must
stand amazed at the declaration that God would justify the ungodly."
In the month of September, 1798, Mrs. Graham's daughter Isabella
was married to Mr. Andrew Smith, merchant, then of New York. Her
family being thus settled to her satisfaction, and her health not
good, she was prevailed upon to retire from her school, and to live
with her children.
During the prevalence of the yellow-fever in 1798, it was with
much difficulty Mrs. Graham was dissuaded from going into the city to
attend on the sick: the fear of involving her children in the same
calamity, in the event of her being attacked by the fever, was the
chief reason of her acquiescing in their wish to prevent so hazardous
an undertaking. During the subsequent winter she was indefatigable in
her attentions to the poor, she exerted herself to procure work for
her widows, and occupied much of her time in cutting it out and
preparing it for them. The managers of the Widows' Society had each a
separate district; and Mrs. Graham, as first Directress, had a general
superintendence of the whole. She was so happy in the execution of her
trust, as to acquire the respect and confidence of the ladies who
acted with her, as well as the affections of the poor.
Her whole time was now at her command, and she devoted it very
faithfully to promote the benevolent object of the institution over
which she presided. The extent of her exertions, however, became
known, not from the information given by herself, but from the
observations of her fellow-laborers, and especially from the testimony
of the poor themselves. When she had been absent for some weeks, on a
visit to her friends in Boston, in the summer of 1800, her daughter,
Mrs. B----, was surprised at the frequent inquiries made after her by
persons with whom she was unacquainted: at length she asked some of
those inquirers what they knew about Mrs. Graham. They replied, "We
live in the suburbs of the city, where she used to visit, relieve, and
comfort the poor. We had missed her so long, that we were afraid she
had been sick; when she walked in our streets, it was customary with
us to come to the door and receive her blessing as she passed."
We next find letters to her female friend near Boston, who was
still in much spiritual darkness and despondency.
To Mrs. C----, near Boston.
"MARCH, 1799.
"MY EVER DEAR FRIEND--I have just read your letter, painful to
you to write, but to me as the mother's anguish which precedes her
joy. The day will soon break, and the shadows flee away; and the dear
Saviour whom you seek, will again comfort his returning prodigal.
"I will do what you desire me, and though I have the highest
opinion of our young Timothy, J.M., I will pass by him in this case,
and lay it before one of the aged Christians, Dr. R----rs or Dr.
L----n; at the same time, my friend, I am as sure of their answer as
if I were already in possession of it. Who told my friend that she was
blind, and miserable, and wretched, and naked? Flesh and blood never
yet taught proud man or woman this lesson.
"My dear friend, there is nothing new nor strange in all you have
told me: there is scarce a heaven-taught soul, who has made any
advances in the spiritual warfare, but could sympathize with you from
experience. What have you experienced more than the Scriptures tell
us: that 'the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately
wicked?' Only the Lord can search it, only he can cleanse it. He takes
the prerogative to himself, and he calls it his covenant that he will
make with sinners in gospel times. You may strive and fight, and
resolve and vow--all will not do: you lie at his mercy for holiness as
well as pardon. He is exalted as a Prince to give repentance, and he
is the author and finisher of faith. He works all our works in us, and
without him we are not equal to one good thought. We are his
workmanship, 'created anew in Christ Jesus,' My dear friend, put the
work into his hand, and try to wait on him in hope--hope in every
situation; do more, trust.
"You entirely mistake the situation of others; none of us have
our heaven here: no, sin dwelleth in us; the very best have their ups
and downs. Do you think your friend is always on the mount? very far
from it. I am at times so cold, so dead, so stupid, that I can neither
pray, read, nor hear. I have begun the same chapter over and over,
still trying to fix my thoughts, and as often they wander on every
trifle; but my peace lies where you will soon learn to place yours, in
the merits of my almighty Saviour. My safety depends not on my frames,
but his promise and when tossed and tempted, dead and lifeless,
emptied of every good, perhaps buffeted like you with abominable
thoughts, the fiery darts of Satan, casting all on Him, I am safe as
when basking in the sunshine of his love, and tasting what you have
tasted: for you have tasted, and you shall yet taste the joys of his
salvation. I too have proved false to his covenant, have gone off with
the world, and been intoxicated with its vanities and empty delights,
and have laid up for myself seasons of deep remorse; my sins have
often separated between my God and me, especially in my younger days;
the Lord calls to watchfulness and diligence in the use of means, and
he generally honors these means, of his own appointing, with his
blessing. When we either trust to these means, and fancy merit in
them, or neglect to use them as his appointment, he generally makes us
feel our error, but he does not cast us out of his family; he chastens
us, and restores us.
"I write hastily, just to say that you have my sympathy and my
love; for well I know, the almighty Lord alone can loose your bonds,
and give you 'joy and peace in believing.' All my advice may be summed
up in this--trust in the Lord with all your heart; at least aim at
this; I say, aim at it, for this too must be given you. Roll yourself,
your doubts, your fears, your sins, your duties, all on him: say,
'Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief.' He is an almighty Saviour to
deliver sinners from sin as well as from punishment. I leave you on
the Father of mercies, and will, when the Lord enables, pray for you.
"Yours, etc."
To the same.
"At last, my dear friend, the Lord appears; appears the Bible
God--'the Lord God, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, abundant in
goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity,
transgression, and sin.'
"When was it that the Lord proclaimed this, and took unto
himself this name? After Israel, his chosen, had been guilty of that
awful sin in the wilderness, of making the golden calf, and
proclaiming, 'These be thy gods, O Israel:' David takes it up in the
103d Psalm, 'The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and
plenteous in mercy.' Read on, my dear, then turn to the 130th. This
God is your God, and has long been your God; his work was upon your
heart, though you could not discern it. In bondage you have long
been, but not a willing captive; unbelief kept you in bondage, long,
long after your eyes were opened to see your bondage; and even to
discern, in some feeble measure, your remedy.
"The Lord has wise reasons for all you have suffered: if not now,
you shall in some after-time 'know and consider all the way by which
he has led you, to prove you, to try you, and show you what was in
your heart, that he might do you good in your latter end.' You did not
wait patiently for the Lord your God; you did not in general say,
'Though he slay me, I will trust in him:' no, my friend has been a
great unbeliever, yet hath the Lord, the sovereign Lord, 'whose ways
are not as our ways, nor his thoughts as our thoughts,' brought you
out of 'a fearful pit, and out of the miry clay; set your feet upon a
rock, and established your goings; put a new song into your mouth,
even praise unto our God.' Now you sing the 34th Psalm. I do rejoice
with my friend; I bless the Lord with her; let us exalt his name
together. It is establishing to my own soul. I have long prayed, and
long looked for this: I lived in the faith of it, assured that He who
had begun the good work, would perfect it in his own time.
"I cannot but regret your want of pastoral food; yet ought I to
regret any thing? The Lord himself is your Shepherd. My Bible lies on
my lap, and I had turned to the 34th Psalm, to know if it contained
what I would point out to you: on finishing the last verse, I
unconsciously turned my eye on the Bible; the words that met it were,
'I will instruct thee, and teach thee in the way that thou shalt go: I
will guide thee with mine eye.' Psa. 32:8. And so it shall be. Amen,
my God, Amen. Do as thou hast said.
"Perhaps, my friend, by this time your notes are lowered. It has
pleased the Lord to give you a strange sight: Mary Magdalene, a great
sinner at the feet of Jesus, pardoned, comforted, and highly honored
in after-life.
"This history, accompanied by the Spirit of God, has consoled,
strengthened, and raised up many bowed down since that day, many now
around the throne, who sing of pardoning love.
"I now wish to say, hold fast the beginning of your confidence.
Your experience is that of God's people. To rejoice in the Lord at all
times is your privilege, but will not be always your attainment. The
Lord has done great things for you, whereof I am glad; but, my dear
friend, the warfare is not over: you must endure trials as others;
engage with 'principalities and powers, and spiritual wickedness in
high places,' and, worst of all, a treacherous heart within; which,
for all that it has seen and tasted, is yet corrupt and deceitful. The
new life which Christ gives to the soul, evidences itself in the
desires of the heart and affections. As certainly as the new-born babe
desires the breast, as certainly and as evidently does the new-born
soul desire union to God, communion with him, and conformity to him in
heart, life, and conversation. This principle is in its own nature
perfectly pure, but the old nature, the law in the spiritual members,
is as perfectly corrupt: 'in my flesh dwelleth no good thing.'
"In the order of God's covenant it has not pleased him to deliver
even believers, all at once, from sinful inclinations and passions; he
has provided for their final complete deliverance, and sin shall not
have dominion over them even here; but it is still in them while in
the body, and a dying body; and the remains of sin in the soul make
the believer's life a warfare, and this world a wilderness; soul and
body are diseased; both are redeemed, and provision made for the
entire deliverance of both--for the soul at death, for the body at the
resurrection; but while in the body, 'if any man say he has no sin, he
deceiveth himself, and the truth is not in him.' I John, I:8. Look at
Paul's experience--what does he say of the believer's state? He calls
it a warfare, a fight, a captivity for a time: see 1 Tim. 6:12;
1 Cor. 9:26.
"I write not thus to dishearten you, but as a friend I warn you,
lest you fall again into unbelief. Look not within for comfort, for
consolation, for confidence. Christ is the end of the law for
righteousness, his blood the atonement, and you are complete in him,
his grace is sufficient for you, his strength shall be perfected in
your weakness, and you shall go on. Grieve for sin you will, grieve
you ought; but keep ever in your remembrance 1 John, 2:1, and 5:11.
"Yours, etc."
To the same.
"JANUARY 14, 1800.
"My dear friend says, 'O that I could have the society of some
aged pious clergyman or Christian, who had gone through his warfare.'
O that you could, in the Lord's hand. I hope it might do you good:
yet, after all, the Lord himself must loose your bonds; aye, and he
will, and also appoint the means.
"There are two kinds of rest awaiting you, the one in this life,
the other will not be attained till the mortal shall put on
immortality. When was it that Paul, the great apostle, could say he
had fought the good fight? Not till he could also say he had finished
his course, and was ready to be offered up; till then, he like others
had to continue the warfare between grace and corruption; like others,
found a law in his members warring against the law of his mind, so
that the thing that he would, he did not, and that which he would not,
that he did. Notwithstanding this, there is a blessed rest attainable
here, rest from the fear of wrath and hell--a rest in Christ as our
atonement, our surety, our complete righteousness, our title to
eternal life, and all the grace necessary to fit us for it. This is
the work of faith, or rather, this is faith itself. The soul
established in this can rest in all possible circumstances; it depends
not on its frames: in darkness, when it is tossed, tempted, wandering,
conscious of unhallowed tempers, perhaps of the actual commission of
sin, though at such times the warfare between grace and corruption is
so strong as to make the Christian exclaim, 'O wretched man that I am!
who shall deliver me from this body of sin and death?' he can still
say, 'The Lord lives, blessed be my Rock;' see the 42d and 43d Psalms.
The Christian can still say, my Lord and my God; he is sure the
conflict will end, and that his God will bring good out of it; he
enjoys hope; he feels his state as safe as in the most enlarged frame
of mind, when he can pray, praise, love, rejoice. This is a riddle
which only Christians can understand, and even they require many
lessons to comprehend it, many more to practise.
"Have you Newton's letters? See his second letter in Cardiphonia.
O try to fix your anchor of hope on that sure foundation which God has
laid in Zion, Christ himself. Trust him to save you from every evil
without you and within you. When your own weakness sinks you, try to
be strong in his strength; when guilt disturbs, wash in the open
Fountain. But hold fast the beginning of your confidence unto the end.
"Be comforted, fight on, aim at trusting, and you shall, in the
Lord's time, also, cease from your own works, and rest, with more
advanced Christians, on the faithfulness of your own God in Christ.
See Hebrews 4:9, also chap. 12 throughout. I finish with chap.
13:20, 21, my earnest prayer and sure hope for you, my precious
friend.
Yours, etc."
Writing to her brother Dr. Marshall, she alludes to the prevalent
neglect of the voice of God in his judgments, and notices the death
of Washington.
"NEW YORK, March 3, 1800.
"Here comes a letter of woe from my dear brother, on a subject
almost already forgotten in New York, the yellow-fever. Strange as
it may seem, the disease, and all that it carried off, seem entirely
out of mind. No mention made of the past, no apprehensions for the
future. Country retreats are multiplying around, and people appear
as if they had made a covenant with death. Potter's Field is filled
with our principal citizens; the prison and prison limits with
many of the survivors. The rest are _feasting_, _dancing,_ and
_revelling_, or weeping over feigned woe in the theatre--a few
excepted, who have fled for refuge to the hope set before them,
whose eyes have been opened to discern the danger and accept the
offered Saviour: among which number, I dare, through grace, reckon
your sister and her children. 'Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget
not all his benefits.'
"The city, indeed the United States, have been swallowed up in
the loss of Washington. The utmost stretch of human eloquence has been
called forth in panegyric. His eulogium has been sounded in every
possible mode--not excepting our pulpits. The 22d of February, his
birthday, was set apart to his memory. Two of our ministers were
appointed to pronounce an eulogium on his character: one of whom was
Dr. Mason, the other Dr. Linn. The last I admired; it had its due
influence over me; but of my own minister I could form no judgment:
the church, the pulpit, the man, the words, seemed so connected with
the 'Lord Jesus Christ,' his favorite theme, I could not realize the
_mere_ orator.
"Great things were said of Washington, and they were due.
"The Lord himself called him by name, girded him, subdued great
armies before him, with handfuls, like Gideon. He gave him wisdom in
counsel, and prudence in executing justice. A nation blessed him
while he lived, and with all the power of language lamented his
death. Ah, human depravity, how striking. Bursting with gratitude to
a creature--with enmity to a Saviour God; to God, who 'so loved the
world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth
on him should not perish, but have everlasting life; and to as many
as receive him gives power to become the sons of God,' by putting
his Spirit within them, and causing them to love and walk in his
statutes. But alas, the carnal unrenewed mind is enmity against God
and his Christ. O that men were wise, and could see their disease,
and the remedy.
"What misery is in the world at this day. It is only equalled by
the wickedness. How does potsherd dash against potsherd, mutually
destroying each other. How consoling to the Christian 'that the Lord
reigns. The Lord sits King among the nations,' even our own Jesus,
'Head over all principalities and powers, and dominions, and every
name that is named in heaven and in earth;' all these shakings,
turnings, and overturnings, shall prove subservient to the real
prosperity of his church."
"1800.
"I have entered into my closet; I have shut my door; I would pray
to my Father who is in secret; I would be shut up with my indwelling
God; but see the crowds that follow; see my treacherous heart that
gives them admission; see my unsanctified imagination going off with
them, leaving nothing before thee but a lifeless lump of clay. Help,
Lord. Hast thou not redeemed me from vain imaginations? Lord, fill all
thy temple; cast out the buyers and sellers; thyself prepare room for
close, undisturbed, holy conference. Grant that, according to the
riches of thy glory, I may be strengthened with might by thy Spirit in
the inner man: dwell in my heart by faith, that 'rooted and grounded
in love, I may be able to comprehend with all saints, what is the
breadth, and length, and height, and depth, and to know the love of
Christ, which passeth knowledge, and be filled with all the fulness of
God.' Give unto thy redeemed servant the Spirit of wisdom and
revelation. Reveal thyself more and more in my soul; enlighten the
eyes of my understanding. Lord, improve, enlarge the powers of the new
man. Spirit of the Father and of the Son, do thine office; take of the
things of Christ and show them unto me; that I may know what is the
hope of his calling, and what the 'riches of the glory of his
inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of his
power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty
power, which he wrought in Christ when he raised him from the dead,
and set him at the Father's right hand, in the heavenly places, far
above all principalities, and powers, and might, and dominion, and
every name that is named, not only in this world, but also in that
which is to come; and hath put all things under his feet, and given
him to be the head over all things to the church, which is his body,
the fulness of him that filleth all in all.' Filled with all the
fulness of God; 'the fulness of him who filleth all in all!' O what
things are these. My soul stretches to comprehend; but, weak and
feeble, cannot climb those glorious heights, nor dig into these, to
me, unsearchable depths. I can only spell after the language of the
Holy Ghost, lisp out his own words. I dare not trust my powers of
comprehension to vary even the mode of expression.
"Well, it may be best for me; the valley of humility may be
safest for me. 'Father, glorify thy name.' Thou hast quickened me; I
am not what I was. Thou hast wrought in me a measure of faith and
love; thou hast sealed me with the Holy Spirit of promise; thou hast
given me the earnest of my inheritance; the full possession shall come
in thy appointed time. Wherefore I will sing unto Him that is able,
and will do exceeding abundantly above all I can ask, think, or
comprehend, according to that same mighty power that worketh in us.
Unto him be glory in the church, by Christ Jesus, throughout all ages,
world without end. Amen.
"My covenant God, and the God of my house. Thy Spirit saith, 'If
any man lack wisdom, let him ask of God.' Thou knowest the difficulty
and danger of the present case. We are ignorant of hidden motions and
principles, of Satan's suggestions, of corresponding or discordant
circumstances, of future providences and events. Lord, give counsel.
"If information and advice be duty on the part of thy servant,
determine on the side of duty, be the danger what it may; and Oh,
search, try, and deliver from every selfish or hidden impure motive.
Give prudence in the choice of words, in the time and manner as well
as purity in the matter. Save from injuring any of the individuals
concerned. And Oh, prepare the heart of thy other servant to receive
this office of friendship with a proper degree of confidence. Save
from unjust suspicions, that it may be taken as meant in love, in
Christian love and friendship.
"O thou who knowest all hearts, all motives, all circumstances
past, present, and future, overrule for the manifestation of truth,
for the safety and good of thy servant, and for the closer union of
all concerned in the bands of Christian love, confidence, and
affection; and as our covenant God, in whom we trust for guidance in
every path of duty, glorify thy name.
"I record this prayer in faith, and wait an answer of peace from
thy inward teaching and manifestation in the course of thy providence.
Amen."
"1800.
"'His name shall endure for ever: his name shall be continued as
long as the sun: and men shall be blessed in him; all nations shall
call him blessed. Blessed be the Lord God, the God of Israel, who
alone doeth wondrous things. And blessed be his glorious name for
ever: and let the whole earth be filled with his glory. Amen, and
Amen.' Psalm 72:17.
"Again have I and my children been fed with Christ's flesh and
his blood at his own table. Glorious things are said of thee, thou
city of our God; and rich the provision of the house of our God;
wonderful the scheme that hath made sinful, guilty, rebel sinners the
citizens of this holy city, inhabitants of this holy house. Mysterious
truth. The city itself the house of God; the temple of the Lord, in
which he delighteth to dwell. Closer yet, more mysterious, yet equally
true, 'his body, his flesh, and his bones;' closer still, one Spirit
with him. As Mediator Emmanuel, he is the bond of union, whereby the
guilty sons and daughters of Adam are made one with the Father, the
Son, and the Holy Ghost.
"Wonderfully and fearfully are we made as creatures: as a
rational creature, who can understand and comprehend himself; how
these members were fashioned; how this spark of vital flame was
breathed into the lifeless lump or atom? Wonder-working Lord, thou
only knowest. Wonderful are all the works of creation; but Oh, what
are they to thy work of redemption? To bring worlds out of nothing, to
bring light out of darkness, was thy easy work; but to bring good out
of evil, this, this was the wonder. Thousands and ten thousands of
worlds were, and may yet be created without cost. God says, Let it
_be_, and it is; but redemption! O, who can tell the cost?
Blessed Jesus, God manifested in the flesh; Christ, babe of
Bethlehem--man of sorrows--victim on the cross; thou only canst tell.
'Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, who alone doeth wondrous things,
and blessed be his glorious name for ever!' Whatever the cost, _it
is finished_. He bowed his head and said, 'It is finished!' This
finished work is the new testament which he bequeathed to his
disciples 'the same night in which he was betrayed,' when he took
bread, blessed it, brake it, gave it to his disciples, and said, Take,
eat, this is my body broken for you; and took the cup, and gave
thanks, and gave it to them, saying, Drink ye all of it; for this is
the new testament in my blood, which is shed for many, for the
remission of sins.
"The new testament! O, who can tell the blessings and benefits
contained in this testament, this dying legacy of our dear Emmanuel,
purchased and sealed with his blood! What is the amount of it? What
the sum of blessings contained in it? Behold, God is become our
salvation. This is the amount. God himself, God in Christ reconciling
us unto himself: by his mighty power subduing the enmity that is in
us; melting our flinty hearts; drawing us with the cords of love;
creating us anew after his own image, which we had totally lost;
uniting us to himself, even _us_, who were enmity itself, but now
are become one with God, who is love. This is the work we have this
day been celebrating: a given, a born, a living, a suffering, dying,
risen, ascended, glorified, reigning Saviour. The Lord of hosts, the
King of kings, the Almighty God dwelling with men, dwelling in men,
and feeding them with his own body and blood. 'Behold, God is become
our salvation; we will trust and not be afraid, for the Lord Jehovah
is our strength and our song; he also is become our salvation,
therefore with joy will we draw water out of the wells of salvation.'
His attributes are the never-failing source; his ordinances the wells
of salvation. God himself is ours, all that he is is ours, to bless
and to make us happy. Ten thousand springs issue from this blessed
source, specified and particularized in his Bible, experienced and
celebrated by his saints. Let us drink and be refreshed, rejoice and
praise: for Oh, who can tell the amount of our riches, in having God
for our portion? All things are ours, we are Christ's, and Christ
is God's."
The Widows' Society met monthly, when the money in the treasury
was divided among the managers, for the relief of the widows under
their care. Mrs. Graham, as directress, thus acknowledges God and asks
his counsel:
"1800.
"O my God, I account it an honorable office thou hast given me. I
have received it from thee. Enable me to execute it to thee.
"Father of the fatherless, husband of the widow, make me a fit
instrument in thy hand of distributing thy bounty. Give discernment
and judgment, tenderness, gentleness, humility, and love; let love to
thee be the principle of my every action; lead me in the straight path
of duty; on the matter, the manner, the time, let 'holiness to the
Lord' be written. I thank thee for this sum towards the relief of thy
creatures; be with us this evening, and direct our determination as to
the division of it. Amen."
CHAPTER VII.
BENEVOLENT LABORS--MRS. HOFFMAN--
CORRESPONDENCE.
The "Society for the relief of Poor Widows with small Children,"
having received a charter of incorporation, and some pecuniary aid
from the Legislature of the state, the ladies who constituted the
board of direction were engaged in plans for extending their
usefulness: Mrs. Graham took an active part in executing these plans.
The Society purchased a small house, where they received work of
various kinds for the employment of their widows. They opened a school
for the instruction of their orphans, and many of Mrs. Graham's former
pupils volunteered their services, taking upon themselves, by
rotation, the part of instructors. Besides establishing this school,
Mrs. Graham selected some of the widows best qualified for the task,
and engaged them, for a small compensation, to open day schools for
the instruction of the children of widows in distant parts of the
city: she also established two Sabbath-schools, one of which she
superintended herself, and the other she placed under the care of her
daughter. Wherever she met with Christians sick and in poverty, she
visited and comforted them; and in some instances, opened small
subscription lists to provide for their support.
She attended occasionally for some years at the almshouse, for
the instruction of the children there in religious knowledge: in this
work she was much assisted by an humble and pious female friend, who
was seldom absent from it on the Lord's day. In short, her whole time
was occupied in searching out the distresses of the poor, and devising
measures to comfort and establish them to the extent of her influence
and means. At the same time, far from arrogating any merit to herself,
she seemed always to feel how much she was deficient in following
fully the precepts and the footsteps of her beloved Lord and Saviour,
who "went about doing good."
It was often her custom to leave home after breakfast, taking
with her a few rolls of bread, and return in the evening about eight
o'clock. Her only dinner on such days was her bread, and perhaps some
soup at the soup-house, established by the Humane Society for the
poor, over which one of her widows had been, at her recommendation,
appointed. She and her venerable companion, Mrs. Sarah Hoffman,
second directress of the Widows' Society, travelled many a day and
many a step together in the walks of charity. Mrs. Graham was a
Presbyterian, Mrs. Hoffman an Episcopalian. Those barriers, of which
such an unhappy use has been made by sectarians to separate the
children of God, fell down between these two friends at the cry of
affliction, and were consumed on the altar of Christian love. Arm in
arm, and heart to heart, they visited the abodes of distress,
dispensing temporal aid from the purse of charity, and spiritual
comfort from the word of life.
At each annual meeting, Mrs. Graham usually gave an address to
the Society, with a report of the proceedings of the managers through
the preceding year.
In April, 1800, she stated that "again the pestilence had emptied
the city; again every source of industry was dried up; even the
streams of benevolence from the country failed. Those storehouses,
from which relief was issued to thousands in former calamities, now
disappointed their hopes; and those spared by the pestilence were
ready to perish by the famine. Such widows as had no friends in the
country, under whose roof they might for a time seek shelter, were
shut up to the only relief within their power, even to that society
which had formerly saved them in many a strait. They came, were
received with tenderness, assisted with, food, advice, and medicine.
"Four of the society's board, at the risk of their lives,
remained in the city, steady in the exercise of their office. One
hundred and forty-two widows, with four hundred and six children,
under twelve years of age, by far the greater part under six, have,
from time to time, during the winter, been visited and relieved. Widow
is a word of sorrow in the best of circumstances; but a widow left
poor, destitute, friendless, surrounded with a number of small
children, shivering with cold, pale with want, looking in her face
with eyes pleading for bread which she has not to give, nor any
probable prospect of procuring--her situation is neither to be
described nor conceived. Many such scenes were witnessed during the
last winter; and though none could restore the father and the husband,
the hearts of the mourners were soothed by the managers, while they
dispensed the relief provided for them by their Father and their
Husband, God."
In the summer of 1800, Mrs. Graham again visited her friends in
Boston, whence she wrote her daughter Mrs. B---- as follows:
"BOSTON, August, 1800.
"I yesterday received my dear J----'s letter, which gives fresh
cause for thankfulness. The more my absence is lengthened, the less I
am able to support the want of intelligence. Let us all bless God
together for all his mercies: among those which are temporal, health
is the chief; and I believe to most mothers it is more valued in their
children than in their own persons. I rejoice with you over our
restored J----y. O that our covenant God may give the more important
blessing of divine life. You had need to be importunate for this,
after the importunity exercised for natural life. I thank God also for
the alleviation of your own distress, for our dear D----'s restoration
from complaints less alarming so far as they existed, but which might
have been the seeds of serious affliction.
"I could go on enumerating, for causes of thankfulness crowd into
my mind; but all are swallowed up in the grand mercy, the
distinguishing mercy of redeeming love to our souls. Salvation, not
only to me, but to my house. Oh, all words fail here. Read over with
me, sing with me, in your heart, the 103d Psalm. O my God, dare I even
sigh in thy presence, under any temporal pain, or hurt of body or
mind, with such a Father, such a Christ, such a Comforter, such a
richly-furnished well-ordered covenant, such a constitution of grace
and providence--O, such an all in all, even 'all the fulness of God.'
My God and the God of my seed, the God of my house; yea, and the God
of my prodigal, who shall in heaven, if never on earth, join the song,
'To him that loved us and washed us from our sins in his own blood, be
glory, honor, dominion, power, and praise, for ever and ever. Amen.' O
shall a murmur ever pass these lips, shall this unthankful heart
indulge even a sigh over any object but sin; shall I shrink from any
cross with such a crown? Father, glorify thy name.
"I have been to church; the subject, 'be not weary in
well-doing.' Many arguments were adduced for exertion; but the gospel
was wanting. O that my friends could hear our shepherd; he would sound
his Master's voice more in unison with their own hearts' experience,
and views of new covenant provision and gospel motives: except in the
Baptist congregations, the gospel is much mutilated here, and kept out
of sight even by the few who are supposed to build upon it.
"Sabbath next brings round your--I will add, my gospel feast. I
will endeavor to meet you to-morrow evening, and to have you all on my
heart, then and on the Sabbath, in that one Lord, one faith, one
Spirit, one God and Father of all, who is above all, through all, and
in all redeemed to himself by Jesus Christ, and sanctified by that one
Spirit uniting all. What subjects! I cannot attain to the
comprehension, but I experience the truth and enjoy the comfort
of them."
The two following letters, addressed to a young lady whose
acquaintance Mrs. Graham made while at Boston, show how tenderly she
sympathized with the feelings of the young, and how earnestly she
sought their good.
To Miss M----, Boston.
"There was, my dear Miss M----, something in your countenance and
manner, at our last interview, which has dwelt on my mind ever since.
Your former attentions, which I also marked, I attributed to the
natural benevolence of your heart; but your following a stranger, an
old woman, of whom you know so little, and whom you were likely never
to see again, to solicit her friendship and an interest in her
prayers, spoke a language beyond nature. Either my sweet friend has
already chosen God in Christ to be her portion, and his love in her
heart powerfully draws her to every one in whom she thinks she
discerns his image, or she conceives that this world cannot give her
happiness even in this life; and impressed with the importance of that
which is to come, she wishes to cast in her lot among God's people,
that she may know the good of his chosen and rejoice in their joy, and
become a partaker of that peace which the Saviour bequeathed to his
disciples when about to leave them: 'Peace I leave with you. My peace
I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you; let not
your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.'
"Let me congratulate my friend, which ever of these be the case.
If the first, you have, or will soon have, a peace which the world can
neither give nor take away; if the last, the Saviour stands at the
door of your heart and knocks, soliciting that heart which has too
long been hunting shadows and vanity. If your soul is dissatisfied
with the things of the world, and tired with disappointment, cast a
longing eye to the fountain of happiness. This is the claim of that
God whose name is love: 'My son, give me thy heart.' 'Come unto me,
all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.' 'In
the world ye shall have tribulation, but in me ye shall have peace.'
Be assured, my dear friend, if you could obtain all of this world that
your heart could wish for, you would find vanity written on the
possession. Nothing short of God himself can give happiness to the
soul; and exactly in proportion as man becomes weaned from the world,
and his affections centre in God, is he in possession of happiness.
"But how is this to be attained? By God's own plan, and no other.
As many weary themselves in vain, hunting the shadows of time; so,
many great philosophers, sensible of this great truth, that God alone
can satisfy the rational soul, also weary themselves in vain, because
they will not seek the blessing in God's own way. 'When the world by
wisdom knew not God, it pleased him by the foolishness of
preaching'--what was esteemed so--'to save them that believe.' 'I
thank thee, O Father, that thou hast hid these things from the wise
and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes.'
"The Saviour said, 'Ye will not come to me, that ye might have
life. No man can come to the Father but by me. I am the way, the
truth, and the life.' 'Search the Scriptures, for in them ye think ye
have eternal life, and they are they which testify of me.' The
Scripture testifies what our own hearts must assent to, that human
nature is depraved and corrupt; broken off from God; at a distance
from him by sin; enmity against him in his true character; opposed to
his holy law, in its extent and spirituality: we are also helpless,
dead in trespasses and sins. 'O Israel, thou hast destroyed
thyself'--blessed be God for what follows--'but in me is thy help.'
"The same Scripture which testifies the misery of man, reveals
also his remedy--a remedy of God's own providing, by which man may be
restored to the image and favor of God, and to that communion with
him which is life and bliss. 'God so loved the world, that he gave
his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him might not
perish, but have everlasting life: for God sent not his Son into the
world to condemn the world, but that the world through him might be
saved. And this is life eternal, that ye believe on him whom he hath
sent.' When man becomes convinced that he is lost, helpless,
wretched, lying at mercy, and submits to the method of God's own
providing; casts himself on the mercy of God in Christ, and coming to
him, rests on his free promise, 'Him that cometh to me, I will in no
wise cast-out;' disclaiming all confidence in himself, or in his own
works, he accepts of God's offered grace, in God's own way, a _free_
and _finished_ salvation. This is the record of God, that he giveth
unto us eternal life, and this life is in his Son; who, of God, is
made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and
complete redemption. Believing this, according to his faith it shall
be. Christ shall be in him, 'a well of water springing up to
everlasting life.' He will shed abroad his love in his heart, and
according to his promise, give him power to become a child of God.
The Holy Ghost, the Comforter, shall be given unto him, to teach him
the knowledge of the Scriptures, and to become a principle of
holiness in his heart. Then shall he find that wisdom's ways are ways
of pleasantness, and all her paths peace; then shall he experience
the blessedness of that man whose God is the Lord; then is the way
open for communion and converse with God the Father, Son, and Holy
Ghost.
"If, my dear Miss M----, I have made myself understood, you have
my view of God's method of making his creatures happy; and I believe
he will make us to know that he is a sovereign God, and that there is
no other name, or method, by which men can be saved, but the name of
Christ Jesus. But, take nothing on my word, nor the word of any
creature; search the Scriptures; read the first eight chapters of the
Romans, the whole of the Ephesians: stumble not at mysteries--pass
them over, and take the milk for babes; pray for the teaching of the
Spirit; and let me recommend to you the advice of Mr. Newton, in his
Omicron's Letters, a book well worth your reading. 'Lay not too much
stress on detached texts, but seek for the sense which is most
agreeable to the general strain of Scripture.'
"My dear Miss M----, I am now old, and I hope have done with the
world; but I have been young and drunk deeply of youth's choicest
pleasures. I was blest with the best and most indulgent of parents; I
was the wife of a man of sense, sentiment, and sensibility, who was my
very first love and lover; and that love ripened and improved with
years. My children were good and healthy; love, health, peace, and
competency blessed our dwelling. I had also, in early life, taken hold
of God's covenant, and tasted his covenant love; and devoted myself to
his service, which was in my mind a principle of moderation, compared
with mere worldlings; but very far was I from that non-conformity to
the world which the precept of the gospel requires. Had I kept close
to my covenant God, enjoyed his bounty with thankfulness, occupied my
talents, devoted my time to usefulness and communion with him; had I
prayed against corruption within and temptation without, the Lord
would have directed my steps and held up my goings, and I should have
continued to inherit the earth, and should not have been diminished.
But this was very far from being my conduct; the bent of the natural,
unrenewed heart, is still opposed to God; and the best are sanctified
only in part, while in this life; the law in the members still wars
against the law of the Spirit of life in the mind. The goodness of
God, which ought to have been a powerful motive to gratitude, love,
and diligence, was misimproved; I enjoyed the gifts, and forgot the
giver; 'hugged my comforts to death.' Many, many light chastisements,
my dear, my kind, my indulgent heavenly Father exercised me with; I
had many repenting seasons under his strokes, many manifestations of
pardon I received, and many fresh and solemn dedications of my heart,
life, and substance did I make; but no sooner was ease and comfort
restored, than my heart turned aside like a deceitful bow: my whole
life, from fifteen till the thirtieth year of my age, was one
continued succession of departure and backsliding on my part--of
chastening, forgiving, restoring, and comforting on the part of
my God.
"He did not cast me off, but dealt with me according to the
constitution of his well-ordered covenant: 'If his children,'
Christ's, 'forsake my law and walk not in my judgments, if they break
my statutes and keep not my commandments, then will I visit their
transgression with the rod, and their iniquity with stripes.
Nevertheless, my loving-kindness will I not utterly take from him, nor
suffer my faithfulness to fail; my covenant will I not break, nor
alter the thing that is gone out of my lips.' Psalm 89:30. This is the
covenant--made with Christ as the head of all who believe--of which I
took hold in early life; my God kept me to my choice, and manifested
his own faithfulness and the stability of his covenant. When lighter
afflictions proved ineffectual, he at last, at one blow, took from me
all that made life dear, the very kernel of all my earthly joys, my
idol, my beloved husband. Then I no longer halted between two
opinions; my God became my all. I leave it as my testimony, that he
has been a father to the fatherless, a husband to the widow, the
stranger's shield and orphan's stay. Even to hoar hairs and to old age
he has carried me, and not one good word has failed of all that he has
promised. 'He has done all things well,' and at this day I am richer
and happier than ever I was in my life. Not that I am yet made free
from sin, that is still my burden--want of love and gratitude,
indolence in commanded duty, self-will, and nestling in the creature.
But my heart's wish and earnest desire is conformity to the divine
will. The bent of my will is for God; and if my heart deceive me not,
my God is the centre of my best affections. It is by grace that I am
what I am, and the same grace engages to perfect the work begun.
"This God is my God; he will guide me even unto death, through
death, and be my portion to eternity. This God I recommend to my
friend; and this well-ordered covenant, this all-sufficient Saviour,
for your acceptance: the Bible for your guide, pray to God for his
Holy Spirit to lead you to the knowledge of the very truth as it is in
Jesus. Accept this as a testimony of friendship, and believe me
"Yours, in love,
"I. GRAHAM."
To the same.
"NOVEMBER 2, 1800.
"You have, I find, been the child of affliction: she is a stern,
rugged nurse; but blessed often are the lessons she teaches. I have,
says God, chosen thee in the furnace of affliction. It is God's
ordinary way of drawing sinners to himself, either to dry up or
imbitter the streams of worldly comfort, that he may shut them up to
seek that comfort that depends not on any transitory source.
"I have no doubt but you shall yet sing with the royal Psalmist,
'It is good for me that I have been afflicted; for before I was
afflicted I went astray, but now I have kept thy word. Blessed is the
man thou chastenest, O Lord, and teachest him out of thy law.' Many
are the texts to the same purport; take them for your consolation as a
part of God's well-ordered covenant.
"You have met with a late bereavement, which has entered deep
into your soul. We are not called to stoicism, but to tenderness of
heart and spirit. Jesus wept with the two sisters over a brother's
grave. But still, the Christian's spirit must be resigned, and say,
and try to say with cheerfulness, 'Not my will, but thine be done.'
And Oh, my friend, great will be the wisdom and happy the
acquisition, if every new bereavement enlarge the room for divine
love in the heart, and be filled up with that most noble, most
blessed of principles. Seek not, my friend, to replace friendship
with any mere worldling; beg of God to fill up the vacuum, then will
you be a great gainer.
"Why hesitate to join the church? Let not a sense of unworthiness
keep you back--a deep sense of unworthiness is one grand part of due
preparation; and no worthiness of yours can give you any title to that
new testament in Christ's blood, which was shed for the remission of
sins. Worthless, vile, empty, helpless is every son and daughter of
Adam's race: but it was for the ungodly that Christ died; it was while
we were without strength; his name was called Jesus, because he should
save his people from their sins. In that day, that great day of the
feast, Jesus stood among a mixed multitude, and cried, 'If any man
thirst, let him come to me and drink--whosoever will, let him take the
water of life freely.'
"If conscious at the time it is the supreme desire of your soul
to be washed in his blood, clothed with his righteousness, sanctified
by his Spirit, go and take this water of life freely; go as a
_sinner_ to a _Saviour_; go at his command, put honor on his
appointment, and repeat the dedication of all that you _are_,
_have_, or _can_ have, over the symbols of his body broken
for you, his blood shed for you; go, trusting in his mercy, and leave
all to his management, believing that _he will_ shed abroad his
love in your heart, order your footsteps in his ways, and in due time
perfect his image in your soul. Keep close to him in the use of means,
but look beyond the means for life and power. I commit you to our God
and Saviour, and pray that he may be to you 'wisdom, righteousness,
sanctification,' and complete 'redemption.'
"I am, my dear Miss M----,
"Your ever affectionate,
"I.G."
In March, 1801, the health of her daughter Mrs. B----, requiring
a sea-voyage and absence from care, Mr. and Mrs. B---- sailed for
Britain, and the following letters were addressed to them during
their absence:
"MARCH 23, 1801.
"MY DEAR CHILDREN--This is mortifying to us all that you should
be anchored half a mile from us, and there lie for hours; but even
this, trifling as it may appear, has its end to answer in _His_
scheme, without whom 'not a sparrow falls.' I have retired with my
Bible, to commit you, and all my cares and concerns, afresh to that
God whose goodness and mercy have followed us through life; who is my
God, your God, and the God of our children; who answered my prayers in
opposition to my inconsistent conduct; took you out of my idolatrous
management into his own more merciful guidance. He has done all things
well, and he will perfect his own work.
"Now, may the Angel that redeemed you, be with you, keep you in
the hollow of his hand, and as the apple of his eye; be with you on
his own ocean, and command the billows not to touch you; carry you to
the bosom of your dear native country, where a large proportion of his
body live in him and by him; bless you, and make you a blessing
wherever his providence shall carry you, and restore you with
blessings to us, in his own time. Amen."
"SABBATH, after morning service, March 29.
"This, my dear children, is a day of storm, wind, and rain. O
that the prayer of our dear pastor, and I hope of many present, may be
with you, and be answered to and for you: Lord, be with that family,
who now, on the mighty ocean, desire an interest in our prayers. May
he whom winds and waves obey, preserve them in this tempestuous
season; may they see and improve his wonders in the great deep; may
the blessings of the everlasting gospel preserve their souls in peace,
conduct them in safety to their destined port, and restore them to us,
enriched with the blessings of thy well-ordered covenant.
"I sent two notes for the Dutch churches, enclosed to Mr. B----;
one for Wall-street, to Mr. A----, and one for the Brick church, to
Mr. M----. I watered all with my tears.
"FIVE O'CLOCK."
"O, how it blows and rains. O my children, how my poor heart
aches for you; if not in danger, yet sick, and in much discomfort. I
gave a note in the old church in the afternoon, supposing the
congregation on this dreadful day to be different. Mr. M---- prayed:
"The Angel of thy presence be with them; give them much of the
consolations of thy Spirit. Conduct them in safety to the place of
their destination, and restore them, enriched with thy blessing, to
worship with us again in this thy house of prayer.' I write on this
day merely to record, for your perusal, the prayers of your church. I
think you ought, if the Lord conduct you safe, to propose public
thanks to that God who heard and answered, if agreeable to Mr. M----.
Write me how it was with you on this day. Now I will go to a throne of
grace for you and all of us. O keep close to the Lord; may he save you
from a dissipated, trifling, carnal spirit; may he sanctify all your
comforts, and give you a just estimation of all you see and hear: may
the Christian's portion rise more and more; and the world and its
vanities sink in your view."
"APRIL 10.
"What the Lord is going to do with his and my children I know
not; but the Samuel Elam has returned to port with a leak, after being
out nineteen days. On the day of storm, she had seven feet of water in
her hold. I hope the Lord, in mercy to you, to his church, and to me
his unworthy servant, has guided you in safety, and that the prayers
of his church were answered in your behalf. O, my children, what would
be the situation of my heart had I not confidence of your being within
the ark. I desire to rejoice over all my fears, for this unspeakable
consolation, that nothing can hurt you. I experience for you what I
did in my own case, when darkness and tempest added to the horrors of
many, while our vessel kept dashing on the rock: I, too, expected her
to go to pieces every moment; but the idea was ever with me, 'in the
bosom of God's ocean, I shall find the bosom of my Saviour.' On the
night of the 29th of March I dreamt my dear J----y fell overboard, and
I saw her floating on the billows, supporting herself by her little
chair: this is the state of my mind; yet I am thankful, and enjoy much
peace. The Lord has given me what I have asked--the salvation of your
souls. In a little time we shall all be gathered around his throne.
Well may I leave to him all intervening circumstances, as well as who
goes first, and how. O how he blesses my latter end, how he soothes
and comforts my old age; far other things have I merited, that my soul
knows; but he has not only pardoned, but comforts, and draws a veil
over my transgressions, covering them from the world's observation.
What can I say? He is God, a God of mercy."
"APRIL 17.
"I have brought the reality near me, that mine eyes may never
behold you again on earth. I can say, even of that, it is well; but
the idea of the horrors of tempest, a leaky vessel racked by the
storm, and sinking by inches; sickness, nervous timidity, and the
sufferings to be undergone before the entrance to the haven of rest be
attained, is my chief disquietude, I will not even say distress,
because when these horrors--horrors they are to mere nature--dart
across my mind, filling my soul with momentary anguish, Satan too
seeking to distract my mind, the Spirit of the Lord lifts up a
standard against him, and comforts me with his own word, the
everlasting promises suited to every possible circumstance in the
believer's lot. Thousands of times have I grasped that promise, 'Leave
thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive.' I pleaded it for
the life of their souls; He answered my prayers; he has given them
life, and they live to him. Yes, I see the fruit, and though
iniquities still prevail against them, he still purges away their
transgressions; kindles their repentance; humbles their souls; lays
them prostrate in penitential confession; washes them afresh in the
open fountain; restores to them the joys of his salvation; seals their
pardon by shedding abroad his love in their hearts, and making them
walk in the path of righteousness for his own name's sake.
"Thus he carries them on from strength to strength by various
means of his own appointing, and some terrible things in
righteousness, in the course of his providence; in all which he is
sovereign, but ever consistent with his new covenant name, as
proclaimed to Moses on the mount, as manifested in the character of
God dwelling with us in our own nature, in whom mercy shone prominent;
by which mercy they shall appear in Zion, before God, in due time.
"Is it so? Is this God my God, and the God of my seed? Is he
himself become our salvation? Are we heirs of God and joint-heirs with
Christ? Is our life hid with Christ in God? When he appears, shall we,
I and the children which he hath given me, in very deed appear with
him in glory? Is all this so, and shall I tremble at the approach of
any of his providences? Shall I not say when it has taken place, 'The
will of the Lord be done,' especially when clothed with love? I trust
that as my day, so shall my strength be, and in the interim I have the
same confidence for you; for 'he giveth power to the faint, and to
them that have no might he increaseth strength.'"
"APRIL 25.
"The wind roars and howls in my windows, though not facing the
storm, and the white waves in the river picture in my mind the foaming
billows of the ocean. The name of our God is my consolation: 'though
the waters roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the
swelling thereof, there is a river the streams whereof shall make glad
the city of God. God shall help her, and that right early.' When I
walk about Zion, and go round about her, when I tell the towers
thereof, mark her bulwarks, and consider her palaces, my heart
rejoices that 'this God is our God; he will be our guide even unto
death; and O the joy that my children are the citizens of this Zion,
and the heirs of all the promises by virtue of the new testament in
Christ's blood. A covenant of works it was to our Surety, and his
heart's blood finished the requisites of it. It is now a testament to
you, sealed by the same blood. Wherever in his word I meet the
character, the providence, the work of God, I read my own and my
children's interest. I hope your experience shall be in Psalm 107:28.
If not wholly, it shall terminate in Psalm 23:4. Though you walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, you shall fear no evil, for
this God, who is your guide even unto death, shall be with you, his
rod and staff shall comfort you; and our darling Jessy he shall carry
as a lamb in his arms, and hide her from the horrors, in his bosom. I
dwell much on these subjects, and I feel comforted, whatever be
the event.
"If the Lord has carried you safe through, and you live to read
this in the body, know that our God continues to bless us abundantly
in health, peace, and plenty, as to temporals; we also experience the
peace of his covenant, and have tastes of the bread and of the water
of life. Thanks, all thanks to our new covenant Head for the stability
of the covenant; we change, but he changeth not. He himself is the
covenant given to the people, and because he lives, his people shall
live also, in spite of Satan and his colleague sin in our hearts: sin
may, and does bring his people into captivity, but it shall not keep
them in bondage for ever. The time of deliverance shall come, when
they shall revive as the corn. Oh, is it not a well-ordered covenant,
and sure?"
Her next letter gives an illustration of fidelity in a difficult,
and, it is to be feared, much-neglected duty.
"MAY 10, 1801.
"MY DEAR CHILDREN--Last evening was preparation sermon. Mr. Y----
preached a very excellent sermon from the Song of Solomon, 'Who is
this that cometh up from the wilderness leaning on her beloved?' First
the wilderness of this world, next the church coming up, then the
attitude leaning, and on whom; I thought the simile well supported,
and practical, as he went on. His application was rich on the
Christian's support, where he brought into view many of the names
of Christ.
"After sermon we witnessed a most affecting scene; two female
members rebuked and restored to the communion of the church. Never,
never did our dear Mr. M---- shine so bright in my eyes; many tears
were shed. I knew nothing of it, and wondered to what he was leading,
when he addressed the congregation, after sermon, upon Christian walk,
watchfulness, and temptation, and the distress occasioned in Christian
society when any of the members were left to fall into open and
aggravated sin. Such was the case in our own congregation: two, naming
the offenders, had been so far left; but while deeply wounded by the
sin and scandal, he was consoled by their penitence: he assured the
congregation that they had given great evidence of deep contrition;
and were now come forward to acknowledge their crime before their
offended and grieved brethren, and to give all the satisfaction in
their power, by submitting to the censure of the church in this public
manner, which, although painful to him, he must pronounce according to
God's appointment. 'Them who sin before all, rebuke before all.' He
then asked them to rise; scarce an individual turned to look; many
were weeping while he laid before them their guilt in strong, yet
tender terms; and finished by expressing his approbation of their thus
submitting to the rod, and exhorting them to humility and redoubled
watchfulness. Then again he addressed the members, requesting them to
receive into their Christian love and affection their repenting,
returning sisters; that they would treat them with tenderness, and
restore them in the spirit of meekness, considering themselves as also
in the body and subject to temptation. 'Let no one put them in
remembrance of the sin which the Father of mercies has blotted out,
nor open those wounds which he has closed,' 'He doth not chide
continually, nor retain his anger for ever.'
"May the Lord bless the discipline of his church; may he meet us
to-morrow with multiplied pardons: may he melt our hearts to
contrition, heal our backslidings, and manifest himself as married
unto us; may he bring us into his banqueting house and his banner over
us be love; may his grace be magnified and his name glorified; and may
he send a portion to my dear children--yea, a Benjamin's portion; may
he open wide the leaves of that new testament, and let them read their
rich inheritance and rejoice in their portion.
"Farewell, my dear children. The Lord bless you, keep you, guide
you, and cause his face to shine on you, prays your affectionate
mother."
The following to the same, was written while on a visit to a
worldly friend:
"MAY 21, 1801.
"I would fain begin to hope that my children are now on, or near
the green fields of Albion. Many a severe gale has agitated them, and
tried their faith and confidence before this day. But as He who
sitteth on the clouds, commanding and governing the elements, is
their own God in covenant, who loves them, careth for them, and
perfects what concerns them, I hope they have had much of his
presence: I hope they have found, even on the boisterous ocean,
amidst the horrors of the swelling deep, agitated with winds and
tempests, all things necessary to life and godliness in these great
and precious promises, accompanied by divine power, by which they are
made partakers of divine life, and escape the pollution that is in
the world through lust. I hope they are enriched in experience, and
advanced in the divine life, by all they have suffered, and all they
have tasted of divine support in their sufferings; that Christ is
still more precious, his word more tried, and their confidence in him
more established: if so, great is their gain. And our darling J----,
being a sharer in the suffering, shall, at her God's hand, be also a
gainer, though it be not evident to our perception. O how rich is the
Christian, how inexhaustible his portion! his table is ever
furnished, his cup ever full; all is blessing, no curse mingled--that
our Surety took to himself; prosperity and adversity, sickness and
health, light and darkness, all, all shall bless us, work for our
good, turn to our profit, and end in the glory of God and our
unspeakable, inconceivable happiness.
"I have been here a week yesterday; all vegetable nature glows
and shines in the perfection of beauty; flowers, shrubs, trees, grain,
grass, falling waters turning the busy mill, the brook murmuring on
its way to the ocean, fit emblem of eternity, all glorify their
Creator; and although no such birds as in Britain charm the listening
ear, we have some sweet chirpers of his praise; and what is wanting to
the ear, is made up to the eye, for in beauty they excel.
"These I may enjoy; with these hold communion; for Oh, spiritual
death holds all within these walls in dismal bondage; not one symptom
of life appears, but death, as the dry bones in the valley of vision.
Why do I not wrestle more for the Spirit to breathe on them? I do
pray: but Oh, formal, formal."
To the same.
"JUNE 17, 1801.
"MY DEAR CHILDREN--Difficult it is for me to exercise patience:
the 23d, of this month will make three months since you waved the
handkerchief on board the Mars, off the Battery. I had made up my mind
not to give way to expectation short of three months; they are nearly
past: how many events take place in that space of time; how many
duties ought to be performed; how many sins are really committed; how
guilty to wish to annihilate the time that a certain event may come
round. For every moment of time we must account, and not one moment of
it can we recall. Much you have seen; much you have suffered; much,
perhaps, also enjoyed: for the Lord can give songs in the night, and
in a dungeon. 'Surely his salvation is nigh them that fear him;' to
them there is no want. The Lord is their shepherd, he feedeth them in
green pastures beside the gently flowing waters; if they wander, he
restoreth them, perhaps with the rod, but it is the rod of love; they
need not be afraid to enter even the valley of the shadow of death;
their Shepherd is with them, and his rod, rod of support, and staff
shall comfort them.
"I hope this has been a profitable time to you both; that you
have seen more of the evil of sin, and of your own hearts, their
deceitful double turnings and windings to cover and conceal the enemy
of God and your own souls; more of the extent and spirituality of the
divine law, fulfilled indeed in every jot and tittle by your Surety;
but still doubly binding on you as a rule of life in the hand of your
Redeemer, who hath bought you to himself, and taken you into his own
hands, that you might be a holy people to himself, delivered not
merely from the penalty and curse, but from the power and indwelling
of sin. I hope you have seen more of the unsearchable riches of
Christ in all he has done and is now doing for your and his church's
happiness, and of those exceeding great and precious promises by
which you are made partakers of the-divine life, and privileged to
escape the pollution that is in the world through lust; more of the
faithfulness of God, as a God in Christ, pardoning sin and
reconciling you to himself; and day by day, teaching you by his word,
Spirit, and providences.
"I am but just beginning to see that I am blind; my own character
opening upon me as a sinner, in heart and tongue and conduct, against
my God, my neighbor, and my own soul: how comes it then that I am at
ease in God's world; in health, in peace, in comfort, all in an
extraordinary degree as to temporals; and as to spirituals, though
grieved with self, my joy in Christ also abounds. Can I believe it?
What can I say; what can I render to the Lord for all his gifts to me?
Nothing can I do, but just take the cup of salvation, calling upon the
name of the Lord, and remain an eternal debtor to his grace for
spirituals and temporals."
"JUNE 26.
"By this time you are already in port, on earth or in heaven.
Blessed alternative. Ought I to be sad, who can say, 'or in heaven?' O
no, I trust grace will be given to acquiesce in his most blessed will;
a most gracious will it has been to me and mine.
"I wrote you in my last, that our dear Mr. M---- leaves us next
month for Britain; his errand is to state the situation of this
country, as greatly in want of ministers and the means of educating
ministers. Many of his people are dissatisfied, as he has two
congregations to supply, and a large family of his own. Why should he
be the man? For my own part, I think he is the very man; and I am
thankful to feel a degree of disinterestedness. Though I love my
minister, value his ministry and his person, I hope the general
interest of Christ's body is more dear to me, and of infinitely more
importance than my private comfort, which, after all, I do not believe
can suffer by parting cheerfully with its apparent food to Christ, who
himself is the sum and substance of all that any minister can be
instrumental in conveying. All means are alike to him, or no means. I
therefore rejoice in his will, and pray that the Lord may prosper him,
give him a double portion of his Spirit, and favor in the eyes of all
whose influence is necessary to advance the Redeemer's kingdom
in America.
"Our friend Mrs. K---- is gone; she died suddenly: both Mr. and
Mrs. T---- died at their country-seat; he first. She fancied she was
getting better. The physician advised her not to ride, as she could
not stand the fatigue; she had more faith in air and exercise: the
last day she went out she fainted getting into the carriage, and again
coming out; and died in the afternoon. She lived near us, yet I never
saw her, nor offered one kind office towards the salvation of her
soul, which, if lost, leaves me not innocent of her blood, and if
saved, as I hope it may be, my sinful neglect is not the less. What a
picture in them of the vanity of all under the sun; and in me of the
evil of procrastination, for I meant to visit her. O my Saviour, is
this the return I make for the millions of pardons which thou hast
passed on my account; sparing even the rod, and blessing me with
health, restored limbs, and mercy on mercy, comfort on comfort? I want
words to paint my abominable ingratitude, indolence, and cruelty; and
yet, Oh yet I am spared, and my mercies are spared, as far as I
know--but trial may be at hand. Perhaps I write what my children may
never read. Well, even then, mercy, mercy shall be my song; for I sing
the song on earth which they sing in heaven. I am just going to town
to attend preparation sermon. Our feast is on Sabbath."
"JULY 17, 1801.
"What shall I render to the Lord for all his mercies--mercies
temporal, mercies spiritual, mercies eternal, multiplied mercies? The
one thing that I asked of the Lord has been answered in full, and Oh,
how much added. God himself become my salvation, and the salvation of
my house; how unspeakable the blessing. Although chastisement and
affliction were the means of correction and sanctification, or even
the vengeance taken on my inventions, yet, as a God, he at the same
time pardoneth. For Oh, my character is ever the same with backsliding
Judah and treacherous Israel. Glory to that name which is ever the
same, and changeth not. 'The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and
gracious, long-suffering, abundant in goodness and truth, forgiving
iniquity, transgression, and sin.' This was his name among a
stiff-necked people, an idolatrous, ungrateful people; this is his
name to me alike in character. O how he has magnified this name to me,
a backslider in heart and life; multiplying pardons while I have
multiplied transgressions: still he has been last with me, healing my
backsliding; restoring my soul; leading me to the open fountain;
giving faith to wash, and joy and peace in believing; not only so, but
in this land of drought, this waste howling wilderness, this vale of
tears, where 'man is born to trouble as the sparks fly upwards,' my
cup with temporal comfort is full and running over; all his creatures
minister to my comfort; and as days and nights roll on, his daily
providence adds, and diminishes not.
"I had hardly hoped to see the faces of my children again; for he
commanded, and raised the stormy winds and lifted up the waves of the
sea; they mounted to heaven and sunk again to the deep; death with all
its _natural_ horrors surrounded them; the deep yawned to devour
them; but God, their own God, was at hand, their anchor of hope, their
ark of safety, their hiding-place till the calamity was past: they
cried to him, and he saved them out of their distresses; he made the
storm a calm, and the waves thereof still, and brought them to the
desired haven. This trouble was not unto death, but for the glory of
God and the exercising of your faith, for the manifestation of his
power and goodness, and the enriching of your experience.
"O then let us praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his
wonderful works to the children of men. Let us exalt him in the
congregation of his people, and praise him in the assembly of
the elders."
"OCTOBER 23, 1801.
"Surely, surely my heart feels grateful for the time, though
this, like every other good motion, will, like the morning dew, soon
pass away.
"My children not only preserved through the tempestuous storms
that threatened death with circumstances shocking to nature, but my
poor sick child preserved during a long and fatiguing journey; that
journey made comfortable, yea, delightful, by the warm reception of
many kind friends, dear to nature, and many doubly endeared by grace:
among the last, the mother and sisters of the kindest and best of
husbands; they receiving her as their own flesh and blood, as well as
their fellow-member in Christ; blest with a measure of health to enjoy
all, and a measure of grace to profit by all; eyeing by faith the dear
invisible hand of a covenant God, preserving, leading, guiding through
every step--his love the marrow of the whole, and their charter for
safety, even amidst the dangers of prosperity.
"Is not godliness gain? profitable for this life as well as that
which is to come? What is the portion of the worldling? even in this
life 'shadowy joy or solid woe,' without a balance to the first, or
consolation in the last; no sure footing in the one, nor support in
the other; distanced from the fountain of happiness by nature,
prosperity incrusts their hearts and increases their carnality;
nestling in their worldly comforts, they forget they are the creatures
of a day, that an endless eternity lies before them, and only the
feeble uncertain thread of life between them and that curse under
which they were born. Not so the child of God; all things work
together for his good--_all things;_ his standing is not in
himself; his footsteps are directed by infinite wisdom: he is kept by
the power of God, through faith, unto salvation. Nothing can separate
him from the love of God. His life is hid with Christ in God: there is
cause to rejoice always; his privileges are boundless, infinite, for
God himself is become his salvation.
"Have we then any cause for fear? Yes, my children, yes; though
nothing can rob us of our charter, there is another side to be beheld.
In Christ we have all things richly to enjoy, but we have not all in
possession: what we have is by faith; all is secured by our Surety for
eternity. We shall overcome by the blood of the Lamb; but by the
constitution of the covenant we must enter into that rest, that
perfect rest, through great tribulation. While our eternal salvation
is secured by our Surety, it hath pleased infinite Wisdom to appoint
another connection, which shall exist while we remain on earth: even
the connection between our steadfastness, consequently our comfort,
and the means of grace which he hath appointed, making the first to
depend in a great measure on our diligent use of the last, insomuch
that a great number of the promises are proposed conditionally. Many
exhortations are given in this view, and also many threatenings. 'They
that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength,' etc. 'Seek, and ye
shall find; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened
unto you.' 'Abide in me; as the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, no
more can ye, except ye abide in me.'
"Close, intimate, near communion with God, is to be sought by
means of prayer, meditation, and reading. If the Christian be careful
to husband time, and set apart a portion for God, and set about these
duties, he will not always miss communion; and this prepares him for
other duties, and arms him against temptation; as the promise is
concerned to keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him.
'If ye, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how
much more will your heavenly Father give his Holy Spirit to them that
ask him.' 'So shall ye know the Lord, if ye follow on to-know him.'
'Delight thyself in God, he will give thee the desire of thy heart.'
'Nevertheless, I will be inquired of by the house of Israel,' etc.
'If his children forsake my laws, and go astray, I will visit their
faults,' etc. 'Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation.'
'But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet,' etc. 'Thy
Father, who seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.' All is laid
before us in the Scriptures, in the view of comfort during our
pilgrimage, as well as the certainty of our inheritance in the end;
the ground whereon we stand, our danger, and the means of safety.
See Eph. 6:11.
"There is provision made in the covenant for great comfort,
consistent with human frailty and imperfection, but not with
carelessness and negligence. While, therefore, we rejoice in the Lord,
we have good reason to join trembling with our exultation; while
standing high in comfort, to take heed lest we fall, through the
deceitfulness of sin. We carry about with us 'a body of sin and
death;' 'the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he
may devour.' We wrestle not with flesh and blood, but with
principalities and powers,' etc. We live in a world lying in
wickedness; the captives of sin and Satan exerting every faculty to
banish all thoughts of God, death, and eternity; contriving, with
unwearied industry and amazing ingenuity, new gratifications for body
and mind in endless variety, suited to all constitutions, all tempers
and dispositions, and to those in all circumstances. Of these, the
most rational are the most subtle, and, in the hand of the enemy, the
most calculated to keep men ignorant of themselves, their misery, and
of the great salvation; and alas, by these he often _spoils_
unwary Christians, who, though heirs of heaven, heirs of God, and
joint-heirs with Christ, are, during their minority, subject to like
passions with themselves, and ever in danger of being spoiled of their
comforts when off their guard.
"With the people of the world Christians have much to do: they
are fellow-members of society with them; they have many duties to
perform to them, with them, and by them; many of the things of the
world are necessary to them, many of its pleasures lawful; for 'the
earth is the Lord's and the fulness thereof,' and he gives them of it
as his wisdom sees good for them. That which he gives them they gather
in the same manner as and in society with the world, by industry and
diligence in their lawful calling and business. Keeping near the
Captain of salvation, and armed in his whole armor, they are safe.
When off their guard, the vigilant enemy gains some advantage, and
they get into trouble. O how many gracious names our dear Redeemer has
assumed in his word, for our comfort, our meditation, our spiritual
exercise; how pleasant and delightful in the light of his countenance
to analyze them! Besides the names peculiar to himself as God-man, how
many has he condescended to take from among men, and the natural
comforts and safeguards of men--our Shepherd, our Rock, our Ark, all
the relations in life--and ends with our All in all. But I must have
done, that I may tell you that goodness and mercy follow us in this
family also."
"July 28, 1801.
"My dear pastor, Mr. M----, sailed for Britain. I thank thee,
good and kind Shepherd of Israel, for all those providences, which
seemed small things at the time, that hedged me into that
congregation; for all the benefits and comforts I enjoyed under the
ministry of thy aged servant now before thy throne, and that thou
preparedst thy young servant to fill his place when the time of his
departure came.
"I thank thee for all the endowments of our young pastor, of
nature and grace. I thank thee, that thou hast kept him faithful to
Him who has called him, and for the precious treasure thou hast put in
that earthen vessel.
"Now, Lord, that thou hast called him to leave his family and his
flock, to travel to a foreign land in the service which thou
requirest, go with him, prosper him, overrule all his concerns for thy
glory, the good of his soul, of the church in general, and his own
little flock in particular. Amen. Glorify thy name"
CHAPTER VIII.
JOURNAL AND LETTERS--LADIES' SCHOOL
FOR POOR CHILDREN.
"NOVEMBER 22, 1801.
"ISABELLA SMITH," a grandchild, "is very ill; she appears to be
in a stupor. Two physicians are attending, but my eyes are to the
Lord. She is his own, given to him by faith, as a covenant God in
Christ for her in particular, for ourselves and our children. I desire
not to draw back, but, the Lord strengthening me, to give up at his
call. If it be his will to spare her, she is still his own, to be done
by, with, and for, as his infinite wisdom may see fit, for his own
glory and her eternal interest. If he is about to remove her out of
the world, she is his own; out of the mouth of this babe will he
perfect praise; with that company of whom is the kingdom of heaven,
she shall join in the song of Moses and the Lamb, 'to Him that loved
us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood, to him be glory,
honor, dominion, and power.'
"O Lord, one petition I prefer--if it be thy will to take her out
of the world, take her in thine arms and carry her through the dark
valley; grant to her a gentle and easy passage, and an abundant
entrance into thy kingdom; and tune our hearts to sing, 'The Lord
gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.'
Amen."
"NOVEMBER 23.
"This day the dear Isabella joined the church triumphant, and
took her place among that company which Christ has pronounced blessed.
I yesterday asked of the Lord that he would take her in his arms and
carry her through the dark valley, that he would give her a gentle and
easy passage, and an abundant entrance into his kingdom. He heard my
prayer; it was indeed soft and gentle; not a struggle, not a groan;
and the affliction which brought down the frame was moderate
throughout. I was enabled to resign the Lord's own into his own hand,
in the faith that he did receive, and would keep that which I
committed to him.
"My soul is satisfied--more than satisfied; I rejoice, and
congratulate the lovely babe on her early escape from a world of sin
and sorrow, to the arms of her dear Redeemer, and to perfect
blessedness with him."
"NOVEMBER 24.
"It is done--finished--the soul with God, the body in the tomb.
It is all well; yes, our covenant God, thou doest all things well. I
firmly believe thy mercy is over all thy works. Goodness, mercy, yea,
loving-kindness has marked thy every step. I believe it now. I shall
see it soon.
"Now, our God, follow this bereavement with thy purifying,
sanctifying grace. Enable us all to search and try our ways. Lead our
souls into a knowledge of the secret corruptions of our hearts, that
we may confess and mourn over them, wash in the blood of Christ, be
pardoned, restored, and get a great victory. Enable us through life to
abide in Christ; to keep close to thee, transacting all our affairs
with thee, before they come into the view of the world. Let thy wisdom
and thy Spirit, in connection with thy providences, be our
counsellors. O keep us in a dependent frame of mind, humble and
watchful. Strip us of all self-confidence. May we at the same time be
strong in the Lord and in the power of thy might; rejoicing in thee,
the God of our salvation, the strength of our heart, and our portion
for ever. Glory, glory, glory, to Father, Son, and blessed Spirit.
Amen, and Amen."
"DECEMBER, 1801.
"It is my earnest desire to 'grow in grace, and in the knowledge
of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ,' It is my desire to love the
Lord my God with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my strength,
and with all my mind; and to love my neighbor as myself, so as to do
to Mm whatever I could expect from Christian principles in him, on an
exchange of circumstances.
"It is my desire to give all diligence to add to my faith virtue,
to virtue knowledge, to knowledge temperance, to temperance patience,
to patience godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, to brotherly
kindness charity, that these things being in me and abounding, I may
be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord and
Saviour Jesus Christ.
"I desire to grow in grace day by day, to profit by every
ordinance of God's appointing, and by every providence; and I pray,
Lord, I pray that thou wouldst grant me my desire, so as that I may
become more spiritual, more discerning in the Scriptures, more
fruitful in good works: that thou mayest increase also my humility.
Open to my view more of the extent and spirituality of thy divine law;
the majesty, purity, holiness, of thy nature; the exceeding sinfulness
of sin; the hidden corruptions of my own heart, and my inability to
search them out, and to crucify them: give me also more just views of
my past life, that I may ever be convinced that I am, what I really
am, the very chief of sinners, and the least of all saints; and that
it is entirely of grace that I am what I am. O make out this promise
to me; I will record it in thine own words: 'I will establish my
covenant with thee: and thou shalt know that I am the Lord,' Ezekiel
16:62. I confess myself the character described in the two foregoing
chapters; and though thou hast chastened me ten thousand times less
than my iniquities deserve, even by the constitution of the new
covenant, thou hast chastened me. Now, O Lord, most merciful and
gracious, who 'pardonest iniquity, transgression, and sin,' for thy
name's sake, do to and for me as thou hast said: 'I will establish my
covenant with thee; and thou shalt know that I am the Lord. That thou
mayest remember, and be confounded, and never open thy mouth any more
because of thy shame, when I am pacified towards thee for all that
thou hast done, saith the Lord God.' Amen."
To Mr. and Mrs. B----, in Britain.
"DECEMBER 7, 1801.
"I have received my dear J----'s three letters from Dingwall:
fresh matter of praise to our covenant God. You have had your season
of affliction; and now you have a season of refreshing, a
resting-time. The cup of the Christian is always more or less mixed.
Your afflictions have ever been mixed with much mercy, and now your
season of rest is also mixed. I well know that no temporal comfort can
compensate the absence of your justly beloved D----. He, however, who
is the God of both, who goes with him, and stays with you, can not
only support, but comfort. The omniscient, the omnipresent, the
omnipotent God is our God, and the God of our house; all that he is is
ours, to bless us. Behold, God is become our salvation. Every
endearing name known among men he takes to himself, to inspire us with
pleasing, confiding love--every name that connects the idea of
protection, to keep our minds in quiet peace, in the assurance of
safety: Father, Husband, Brother, Friend, Prophet, Priest, King,
Physician, Help, Health, Light, Life, Counsellor, Guide, Sanctuary,
Anchor--but I should fill my sheet. I said it all at first: God is
ours, and ours with the knowledge of all our backslidings, which he
heals; our wanderings, from which he restores us; and our sins, which
he forgives: one of his names is the God of pardons. He delights in
mercy. Are we not his witnesses? What has our whole life been, but
sin, backslidings, and wanderings? What have his dealings with us
been, but pardons, healings, restorations? Therefore we remain, as at
this day, with our desires towards him, and our faces Zion-wards. What
he hath begun he will perfect, and in a little while our eyes shall
behold him, our hearts shall enjoy him, we shall be like him, and see
him as he is."
To the same.
"DECEMBER 26, 1801.
"I rejoice over my dear children, and bless our gracious God that
he has led them a sweet and most delightful sojourning among his
churches, animating their spirits by their mutual communion; blessing
them, and, I hope, making them blessings. I pray the Lord may make our
dear D---- an instrument among others of spreading his gospel,
building up his church, and pulling down the strong-holds of Satan;
and that you may be in your place a help-meet for him, in this as in
every thing else. May the Lord choose his path and direct his steps,
and yours with him. Women were helpers of the apostles and others in
Paul's days: at the same time care must ever be taken not to obtrude
in any respect. I pray that you may be kept spiritual and humble:
eminence in God's service is truly desirable, if the heart be kept
humble. If the Lord open the eyes to behold more of the extent and
spirituality of his law, the holiness and purity of his nature, the
evil of sin, and its contrariety to all that is in God; and if he turn
the eyes inward to the hidden corruptions of the heart, when it is
evident to the soul that all is of grace, then may eminent services
be safe.
"'I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes,' was the exercise
of Job; and justly so. Job, who was eyes to the blind and feet to the
lame, a father to the poor, and the cause which he knew not he
searched it out: when the ear heard him, it blessed him; when the eye
saw him, it gave witness to him; who withheld not the poor from his
desire, nor caused the eye of the widow to fail; the stranger did not
lodge in the street, but he opened his door unto the traveller: all
this was true as far as the external act, and as he then thought, with
a proper temper of heart, Job could justify himself before his
fellow-sinners, Blind like himself; but when God comes to deal with
him, how different his views. Then it was, 'Behold, I am vile; what
shall I answer thee? I will lay my hand on my mouth:' even with the
very best there is cause for this exercise, could we see in the
same light.
"How deceitful is the human heart; how unfaithful the conscience;
how little do we know of the sins of our daily walk. We are called to
watch and pray, that we enter not into temptation; to walk with God in
close, intimate communion: whether we eat or drink, to do all to his
glory: to consult him in all the affairs of life, narrowly observing
his providence in connection with our circumstances; weighing all in
his presence, requesting him to determine our wills and direct our
steps. We ought not to say, 'We will go into such a city,' and do this
or that; but, 'If the Lord will.' How inconsistent our conduct with
these rules. How often do rashness, precipitation, and self-will
accompany our determinations and movements. And how often do His
goodness and wisdom over rule our folly, save us from our own pits,
and prevent the evil that might be expected. At no time does he deal
with us as we sin, though sometimes he stands by and allows us a taste
of our folly: then we are in trouble, we dig our pits and fall into
them, but we cannot deliver ourselves. O what a God! who, even at such
a time, says to us, 'Call on me in the time of trouble; I will deliver
thee, and thou shalt glorify my name; thou hast destroyed thyself, but
in me is Blessed help; mercy to pardon, goodness to wisdom to guide,
faithfulness to carry through and perfect what concerns us, overruling
our very follies, and causing them to teach us to profit. This is
God's way, according to many declarations of himself in his word, and
the experience of all his redeemed.
"Blessed then is the man that trusteth in the Lord; they truly
are a blessed people whose God Jehovah is."
"FEBRUARY, 1802.
"MY DEAR, MY BELOVED CHILDREN--I trust the Lord is your support;
I know you are in trouble; it cannot be that opportunities have been
wanting all this time, nor can it be that my children have been
negligent: no, no, I cannot suppose it. My children are in trouble;
they could not write that they were otherwise, and therefore remain
silent until they can write the issue. It is proper, and sure the Lord
feeds me with comfort. O the comfort of knowing that the Almighty God
is their own reconciled Father by an everlasting covenant; Christ, the
Mediator and Surety, their Advocate, Brother, and Friend; the Holy
Ghost their Teacher, Guide, and Comforter. It cannot be ill with my
dear children, who are also God's dear children. My Father, I know it,
thou chastenest for their profit. I know not where they are, nor how
they fare. I know not what to ask for them; but thou art everywhere
present, thine eye is upon them, thou knowest all their wants, all
their burdens, all their bereavements, or whatever tries them. O let
thy sensible presence be with them; open wide the leaves of that new
testament in Christ's blood, and let them read their rich legacy,
their unsearchable riches in Christ; give them confidence in thy
wisdom and goodness, and sweet acquiescence in all thy dealings with
them. Thou hast spared in mercy, perhaps now thou hast taken in mercy:
yes, thy tender mercies are over all thy works, and a large ingredient
in every cup thou puttest into the hand of thy children. It is well,
it is well.
"Since writing the above, I have received my dear D----'s
letter, second copy, by the way of London. The Lord is your God. and
the God of your seed. John the Baptist leaped in the womb when the
salutation of Mary sounded in his mother's ears; he was then a living
soul, and an heir of salvation at that moment. If your babe was
conceived in sin by the first covenant, he is an heir of grace by the
second. Think it not hard; no, you do not think it hard that you have
conceived him in sickness, carried him in sickness, and suffered the
pangs of birth without the succeeding joy to make you forget your
anguish. All this shall be for the glory of God, and that is what you
seek; believe it now, you shall see it soon. I do sympathize; my fond
heart had embraced a sweet babe added to the family for one taken.
The Lord has taken this also; it is his due: I shall soon leave the
mortal and join the immortal; five have joined the head, six remain;
and one I know nothing of, more than that I cast him on the Lord, and
look for mercy. I thank my God that he gave you the grace of
resignation, and supported you in the solitary confinement. Alas, my
child, did you listen for the voice of your babe? O, what a suspense;
but let me stop--he had reached maturity ere that time; without the
fight, obtained the victory; he is of the travail of the Redeemer's
soul; children are God's heritage, the fruit of the womb his reward.
Rest then in the Lord; this is to his glory, both without and within
your soul."
"MAY 20, 1802.
"MY DEAR CHILDREN--Here am I in my little room, surrounded with
every comfort, and as the provision of my God, I value all; but there
lies the chief, _my Bible_, the testament of my dying, risen,
ascended, reigning Saviour, bequeathing to me eternal life, executed
in full, and made as sure as the promise and oath of God. The
influences of the Holy Ghost on my mind, taking of the things of
Christ, and showing them unto me; opening wide the leaves of that new
testament, in which I read unsearchable riches, and my title to them
sure: yes, sure, even to me, a base idolatrous gentile, a rebel
against the eternal King, my Creator, Preserver, Provider; a
backslider in heart and in life. What has such a one to do with a holy
God? He hath said only return; and he himself hath turned to me,
chastened, convinced, restored, comforted. His ways are not as our
ways, nor his thoughts as our thoughts; but as the heavens are above
the earth, so are his ways above our ways, and his thoughts high above
our thoughts, and his plans above our conception. For although it is
for ever true, that he is of purer eyes than to behold evil, and
cannot look on iniquity; that his law has denounced a curse upon the
transgressor who keepeth it not in every jot and tittle; it is for
ever true, that this God is unchangeable in his nature and purposes.
What he hath said, that will he do. It is for ever true, that I am all
I have said, and worse, a sinner in heart, tongue, and practice; yet
am I a beloved child, a justified one, an heir of God.
"Here is the testament, here is my charter with the seal of God
upon it--JESUS, thou art the Secret of the Lord; thou art the Lion of
the tribe of Judah, the root and offspring of David. Thou hast
prevailed to open this book of secrets, to loose the seven seals, and
lay open its mysteries. Thou Lamb of God, the appointed and anointed
to the great work; in our room, and in our nature, thou hast sustained
the curse. Thou hast obeyed the law; thou hast drunk the last drop of
the last vial of that wrath which would have sunk my soul in the
endless depths of misery; and I never could have expended one drop,
but sunk deeper and deeper under it. O not unto me, not unto
ministers, not unto any creature be the praise. As for me, I am, in a
word, all that is vile in myself; ministers, providences, afflictions
are just what God makes them; without his blessing they will not only
pass without profiting, but Satan and corruption will make them
ministers to themselves. Worthy is the Lamb that was slain, for he has
redeemed me with his blood. Worthy is the Lamb to receive power, and
riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honor, and glory, and
blessing--to him, to him alone, be the praise; who, of an heir of
hell, hath made an heir of heaven, by a substitutional righteousness
wrought out in his own person: mine by free gift, in which I am
completely justified. To this work let nothing be added, with this
work let nothing be mixed.
"There is another work going on by the same Spirit of truth; also
his purchase and gift--sanctification. In this I am called to occupy,
watch, strive, fight. Life is given; means of support and growth
provided; weapons of warfare--all things necessary to life and
godliness: these are promised to the diligent use of means; and
poverty, stagnation, discomfort threatened to the indolent. O how
sovereign and gracious has my God been in his dealings with me in this
respect also. For a sluggard have I been in the days of youth and the
prime of life; yet to me hath he given the comforts promised only to
the diligent. Here I sit on the verge of threescore; my heart in some
good measure loosened from the world, although in full possession of
it. Health, ease, plenty, elegance, friendship, respectability; old
age welcome, death unstung become a familiar friend, the messenger of
my Father to fetch me home to those mansions which my Redeemer has
taken possession of in my name. My hope is strong for my offspring.
Stately have been his steps of mercy towards them already, and he
saved them from their mother's snares; he heard and answered my
prayers, for his name's sake, and overruled my practices; he is my
God, and the God of my children; the God of my children's children to
the latest generation; my cup is full of comfort, temporal and
spiritual. O praise him, praise him, for he is your God, and the God
of your offspring also."
"JUNE 4, 1802.
"Making allowances for the difference of time, and supposing my
dear children in health, all about them is in a racket. This is his
majesty's birthday; and you are at this moment, perhaps, set in some
social company, by invitation, to honor the anniversary, to repeat
the wish of long life, health, and comfort to the lawful sovereign
of Britain.
"Here sit I in my dear little room, with a lovely landscape in
view; B. M----'s park in velvet verdure; the full-grown trees
scattered thin to display the carpet, and in full foliage; the clump
of willows weeping to the very ground, with a gentle wave agitated by
the zephyr; while the other trees keep their firm, majestic posture;
the Hudson river covered with vessels crowded with sail to catch the
scanty breeze; some sweet little chirpers regaling the ear with their
share of pleasure. I think I never heard any little warbler in this
land sing so sweet as those which now salute my ear.
"These are thy glorious works, Parent of good.'
"Can all the philosophic ingenuity of London, this evening,
produce such a scene? The gardens no doubt will be glorious, but the
groundwork is also God's; but why say I that in particular? All is
his; the very notes that warble through so many guilty throats are his
creation; all the art of man cannot add to their number. Sweet bird,
thy notes are innocent, O how sweet. Lovely trees--ye who stand erect,
and ye who weep and wave; I wish no brighter scene. The shadows
lengthen fast, so do yours and mine, my sovereign;* a few, a very
few anniversaries, and we must change the scene--change to where no
courtiers flatter, no false meteors blaze--where shadows flee away,
realities appear, and nothing but realities will stand in any stead.
*Mrs. Graham received a pension as a British officer's widow until
her death.
"O may we meet; for me, I nothing have, I nothing am. But One
there is, who was and is all that the mind of saint or angel can
conceive of glory and of happiness; and he is mine, and I am most
blessed. Lengthen on, ye shadows, until all is shadow on these orbs of
flesh. Then, O then,
"'My captive soul set free
From cloggish earth which oft has made me sigh,
Ascends the eternal hills, as seen to see,
As known to know, and grasp the Deity.'"
"1802.
"Our friend B---- has now proved how far it is safe to leave the
fate of eternity unsettled. He is gone to the state of the dead: with
whom his soul is gathered, He only knows whose mercy none ought to
limit; he is gone to his own place; if without a Surety-righteousness,
which he sought not after in health, we know where that place is; but
after reading of a thief on the cross, nothing with God is impossible.
My mind is much impressed; that sentence rings in my ears, so often
repeated, 'I am determined to do all the good I can, and leave the
rest to God. I have no time to search.' Oh, oh, one thing is needful.
"'Life's a folly, age a dream
Borne along the common stream,
Earth's a bubble light as air,
If my rest be centered there.
How can that be solid joy
Which a moment may destroy?'
"Mr. B---- was seized with the fever in its most malignant form;
for him every genius was exerted, and the medical store ransacked for
the healing balsam, but in vain. The Judge calls for the soul, and the
body must, at his command, dislodge its tenant; how awful, if no
surety was at hand, if he must stand naked--we know the rest: did I
say we know? O no. What can we know of that wrath which in the garden
of Gethsemane, when no murderous hand was near, no high-priest, no
council, or cross, wrung the blood through every pore of the pure, the
innocent Lamb of God, supported by Godhead. If such things were done
in the green tree, what shall be done in the dry?"
Another of her grandchildren was shortly after removed by death;
his illness is noticed in the following meditation:
"AUGUST, 1802.
"'And that which cometh into your mind shall not be at all, that
ye say, We will be as the heathen, as the families of the countries,
to serve wood and stone.' 'And I will bring you into the wilderness,
and there will I plead with you face to face: like as I pleaded with
your fathers in the wilderness of the land of Egypt, so will I plead
with you, saith the Lord God; and I will cause you to pass under the
rod, and I will bring you into the bond of the covenant.' 'And ye
shall remember your ways, and all your doings, wherein ye have been
defiled; and ye shall loathe yourselves in your own sight, for all
your evils that ye have committed: and ye shall know that I am the
Lord, when I have wrought with you for my name's sake, not according
to your wicked ways, nor according to your corrupt doings, O ye house
of Israel, saith the Lord God.' Ezek. 20:32, 35, 36, 43, 44.
"It is good, yes, Lord, it is all good; too often have we said,
'we will be as the heathen, to serve wood and stone.' Often hast thou
chastened, often have we confessed, often resolved that we would walk
more softly, more tenderly, more circumspectly before thee. But, alas,
when thy hand is removed, when thou healest us, and restorest to us
health, comfort, and our pleasant things, we wax fat and kick, nestle
in our comfort, abuse thy gifts, and lose sight of the giver. Alas,
Lord, thus it must ever be with us, when we keep not near to thee; we
cannot walk one step alone without stumbling. Thou knowest these
naturally wicked hearts, that they are deceitful above all things;
they betray us before we are aware. Blessed, ever blessed be our God
for his well-ordered covenant. Blessed for the discipline of it. O
Lord, we are again in the wilderness, and under thy chastising rod:
for weeks past, we have 'eaten no pleasant bread;' thy rod is still
suspended over our pleasant, our dear child; the streams of life ebb,
he sickens, he dies, if thou interfere not. But the issues of death
are in thy hand, and our eyes are towards thee. In vain are all means,
all medicines, if thou impart not the healing virtue. Thy weeping
servants seek the healing virtue from thy waters, thy seas, thy pure
air. All nature is in thy hand and ministers thy pleasure; to some
conveying health, to some disease. An herb to be boiled in simple
milk, as the figs for Hezekiah's boils, has been proposed, O let this
prove the appointed means, or direct and point out that which thou
wilt bless, and let our hearts and tongues give the glory to thee.
"We deserve this bereavement; but, Lord, what do we not deserve?
Even according to the constitution of the covenant of grace, and
consistent with thy pardoning, saving mercy, and all thy
long-suffering, wert thou to take vengeance on our inventions, by
exercising all thy threatened chastisements, should we ever be out of
the furnace? But even in this view, thou never hast dealt with us as
our iniquities deserved. 'He will not always chide, neither will he
keep his anger for ever.' Thou hast, in thousands of instances, 'cast
our sins behind thy back, into the midst of the sea; blotted them out,
to remember them no more for ever. Thy ways are not as our ways, nor
thy thoughts as our thoughts,' We may plead, 'Deal not with us as we
sin; but according to the multitude of thy mercies blot out our
transgressions. Pardon our iniquity, for it is great.' Affliction is
appointed, but it is 'in measure, when it shooteth forth.' O debate
with it, and according to thy promise, 'stay thy rough wind in the day
of thine east wind.' Lord, say it is enough, give the blessing, and by
this measure shall iniquity be purged, and the fruit be to take away
sin. All means are alike in thy hand, and any measure. In holy
sovereignty and consummate wisdom thou afflictest, and in thy hand
afflictions yield the peaceable fruits of righteousness: the hearts of
thy people are melted, and they sing of mercy and of judgment, and
glorify thy name. But, O Lord, a look, such as thou gavest to Peter,
will melt our hearts and restore our backsliding souls. The announcing
of our pardon by the same power, will make them overflow with love. If
thou but call us by name, as thou didst her who sought thee at thy
sepulchre, with the same power we shall recognize our Saviour and
worship him.
"O Lord our God, ever faithful to thy promises, thou hast said,
'Whatsoever ye ask in my name, believing that ye receive, I will do
it.' O Lord, I ask not the life of this child on this ground. I have
through life asked one thing of thee, and that will I seek to obtain
while life and breath remain, and reason and grace; I will seek it,
seek it with importunity, holding fast by thy promise to do it, and
believing that it shall be according to my petition. Make good to me
this thy promise, in a spiritual and eternal sense. Be my God, and the
God of my children, and of my children's children, to the latest
generation. Let my children according to the flesh, be thine by
regeneration of the Holy Ghost: it is a great boon; but hast thou not
said, 'Open thy mouth wide, I will fill it?' Father, do as thou hast
said: this is my one petition, and I cannot be said nay. I ask for
myself, my children, and my children's children, to the latest
generation, the life which Christ died to purchase, and lives to
bestow, that we may be made one with him, and our life hid with him in
God. Amen, and Amen.
"But, O my Father, thou hast said, 'Be careful for nothing; but
in every thing, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let
your requests be made known unto God.' I ask, with submission to thy
holy will, if consistent with thy glory, his good, and the good of the
parents, the life of this child; that thou mayest spare him for our
comfort, but first for thine own glory; that thou mayest give the
different branches of this family a joyful meeting, a full feast of
grateful thanks to thee for all thy mercies; and our hearts may
rejoice before thee for the abundance of comfort. Shouldst thou, in
thy adorable wisdom, otherwise determine, thy blessed and thy holy
will be done. Wash the soul of this child in the blood of Jesus,
clothe him with thy righteousness, sanctify him by thy Spirit, and fit
him in every respect for thy kingdom. And O, my divine Redeemer, I
renew my petition which thou didst so evidently grant in the case of
our dear Isabella: take him in thine arms of mercy; soften and shorten
the parting pangs, and carry him gently through the dark valley, and
give him an abundant entrance into thy heavenly kingdom, to join the
hosannas of thy little children, of whom thy kingdom is partly made
up: and O, sanctify the affliction to all concerned; direct our
discipline according as thine all-seeing, heart-searching eye sees we
need; that it may bring forth the peaceable fruits of righteousness,
and 'the fruit of affliction be to take away sin,' and the glory of
all redound to thee, Father, Son, and blessed Spirit. Amen, and Amen."
"SEPTEMBER, 1802.
"'What manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy
conversation?'
"'O give thanks unto God, for he is good; his mercy endureth
for ever.'
"'How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God; how great is
the sum of them.'
"'If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand.
When I awake I am still with thee.'
"'The Lord is gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger, and
of great mercy.'
"'The Lord is good to all, and his tender mercies are over all
his works.'
"'All thy works shall praise thee, O Lord, and thy saints shall
bless thee.'
"'He hath not dealt with us after our sins, nor rewarded us
according to our iniquities.'
"'Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and
passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage. He
retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy.'
"'He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us, he will
subdue our iniquities, and thou wilt cast all our sins into the depths
of the sea.'
"'Let Israel hope in the Lord, for with the Lord there is mercy,
and with him is plenteous redemption.'
"'And he shall redeem Israel from all his iniquities.'
"'The Lord hath done great things for us, whereof we are glad.'
The Lord hath turned our captivity, filled our mouth with laughter and
our tongue with singing.
"Thomas," her grandchild, "is restored to perfect health. Thou
hast heard our petitions, and continuest to us all our pleasant things.
"It is a time of prosperity; thou givest us the 'upper and the
nether springs;' thou blessest my children 'in their basket and in
their store;' and while the riches of many are making to themselves
wings and flying away--while many are sinking from affluence to
poverty, falling on the right hand and on the left, by thy most
manifest providence thou hast preserved them from the wreck. O teach
them to acknowledge thy hand in all this, and to say and feel, 'Not
unto us, O Lord, not unto us, but to thy name be the glory.' It is God
that giveth power to get riches. O, enable them to honor thee with
their substance, and with the first-fruits of all their increase.
"In the day of prosperity let them rejoice, but let this joy be
in the Lord. O let thy gifts ever, ever lead them to the giver, and
fill their hearts with gratitude, their mouths with praise; and let
their very actions be worship, while they acknowledge thee in all
their ways, and thou directest their steps. May they be as 'a city set
on a hill, which cannot be hid,' and their light so shine before men,
that they seeing their good works, may glorify their Father in heaven.
"And now, O Lord, we wait for thy blessing in the restoration of
our dear D---- and I. B---- and J----. 'Thou hast shown them great and
sore adversities,' and thou hast manifested thy power to save. When
they passed through the waters thou wast with them, and through the
rivers they did not overflow them. When they walked through the fire
they were not burnt, neither did the flames kindle upon them. For thou
art the Lord their God, the Holy One of Israel, their Saviour.
"Thou didst stay thy rough wind in the day of thine east wind,
and in the multitude of their thoughts within them did thy comforts
delight their soul. Thou humbledst them under thy mighty hand, and
thou hast in the multitude of thy mercy exalted them in due time.
"In all their sojourning thou hast been with them; and in
fellowship with thy church greatly hast thou comforted them. Thou hast
given them favor in the hearts of thy people, and made 'the stones of
the field to be at peace with them.' And now, O Lord, restore them to
their friends and Christian society, and to their place which thou
hast in thy goodness given and preserved to them. Here may they be thy
witnesses, that 'thou art the Lord, and besides thee there is
no Saviour.'"
"SEPTEMBER, 1802.
"This day has the Lord our God answered our prayers, and enriched
us beyond the ordinary lot of humanity. D---- and I. B---- and J----
are restored to their preserved places, and to the bosom of their
family. We are as men who dream; our mouths are filled with laughter,
our tongues with singing; the Lord hath done great things for us,
whereof we are glad. Thou hast turned our captivity as the streams in
the south. We sowed in tears, we have reaped in joy. Bless the Lord, O
our souls; ever true and faithful is his word: 'He that goeth forth
and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with
rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.'
"'O Lord, from thee is our fruit found;' may our sheaves be many
and weighty, thou working all our works in us, to thine own glory and
our blessedness. Amen."
"1802.
"Dear brother Pero,* happy brother Pero, thy Jesus, in whom thou
trustedst, has loosed thy bonds, has brought thee to that rest which
remains for the people of God; thou drinkest of the pure river that
maketh glad the city of our God; of that blessed fountain from which
issue all the streams which refresh and revive us weary pilgrims. But
a little while ago, and thou wast weary, dark, and solitary; thy flesh
fettering and clogging thy spirit; thy God trying thy faith, hope, and
patience, which he had previously implanted, watered, and made
vigorous, to stand that trial more precious than gold that perisheth,
though it be tried by fire, and was made manifest to the glory of that
Saviour who leaves not his people in any case. If need be, they are in
heaviness, through manifold temptations; but he knows how to deliver
them, having himself been tempted.
*Pero was an elderly man of color whom Mr. Andrew Smith had
purchased, and made free.
Pero had previously been a freed man of Christ. He had been for some
time in ill health; Mrs. Graham kindly attended on him, and read the
Scriptures to him: he died by the bursting of a bloodvessel, at an
hour when none of the family were with him. Mrs. Graham, in humility
of spirit, reproaches herself in this exercise, for having been
absent from him, without inquiring into his situation for one hour.
"Thou hadst a taste of his cup: like him thou didst endure the
contradiction of sinners; like him thou didst experience the desertion
of friends, even thine old mistress, whom thou lately didst esteem as
a sister in Christ, and to whom thou didst look for fresh
communication from and through that written word, which she could
read and thou couldst not. Oh, how did she prove as a broken reed
unto thee; how did she neglect thy necessity, and her own opportunity
of bringing forth fruit in its season. Thou hast been no loser. The
Lord passed by the slothful servant, the unfaithful steward, who
neglected to give thee thy meat in due season, and himself took her
place; took thee from that household which was not worthy of thee,
and led thee to those mansions of bliss which himself purchased and
prepared; set thee at that table which shall never be drawn, where
thou shalt feast on all the fulness of God, and drink of those
pleasures which are at his right hand for evermore. No need of old
mistress now; no need of any earthly vessel now, nor of that written
word which thou didst so highly prize. The Word made flesh has
removed the veil that shaded the glory of the God-man from thine
eyes; flesh and blood could not behold it; of this he has unclothed
thee--left it with us to look upon and mourn our sin. Thee he has
introduced into the full vision of eternal day, where thou knowest as
thou art known, and seest as thou art seen. O that full communion
enjoyed between a holy soul and the perfection of holiness! O that
light of life, that ocean of love, that inconceivable blessedness.
How hast thou outrun us, brother Pero; how distanced us in a moment.
Oh, could I not watch with thee one hour? Oh that I had received thy
last blessing, instead of which, conscious offence, deserved rebuke,
painful compunction wring my heart; and perhaps the rod of correction
may be suspended, and now ready to fall on my guilty head.
"Father, O my Father, am I not still thy child--still thy
adopted? Have not I an Advocate with thee, Jesus Christ the righteous,
whom thou hearest always? does not the blood of Christ cleanse from
all sin? yes, O yes. This is my universal remedy; thousands and ten
thousands of times have I experienced its efficacy. Father, I again
apply; blessed Spirit, do thine office. Wash me, and I shall be clean;
purge me, and I shall be whiter than snow. I confess my sin, I
acknowledge mine iniquity. Thou didst bring to me an old disciple,
near and dear to his and my Saviour; thou didst require me to minister
unto him all that he needed; the honor was great, the opportunity
valuable. Thou didst empty thy servant for a time, thou didst hide his
comfort, that I might, through thy written word, draw living waters
for him, and give him to drink. O the honor; O the negligence. Thou
didst send the call for thy disciple to come up to thee; in thy
providence thou didst make it first known to me, that I might be
instrumental in conveying to him, through the same channel, oil and
trimming for his lamp. Great was the honor; dignified the service; but
lost to me for ever. I passed by on the other side. Blessed, blessed
Jesus; thou good Samaritan, who pouredst the oil and wine into his
wounds, and tookest him, not to an inn, but to those mansions in the
skies which thou, with thine own blood, purchasedst for him; sanctify,
O sanctify to me this thy providence; pardon my neglect. Saviour, wash
me in thy blood, and sanctify and bring good out of even my
transgression. By thy grace, let it be a means of stirring me up to
more watchfulness, that I may meet the opportunities afforded me in
thy providence, to occupy till thou come."
"DECEMBER, 1802.
"The lovely plant which the Lord had blasted, which brought down
our hearts with grief, which he had restored and clothed with smiling
health and comfort, again sickened, declined, wasted; every means
proved ineffectual; the Lord refused the healing virtue. He was
brought to town to be near the physicians, but the Physician of Israel
aided them not. Disease increased; with pain, sickness, convulsion,
much he suffered, and long; he had a taste of the bitterness of sin,
but no part of the curse: _that_ the Redeemer drank and expended;
and having by his atoning blood purged this little one from his sins,
and perfected all his redeeming work in his soul, he received him into
his own heavenly abodes. It is well, all well. Amen."
Mrs. Graham lived alternately with her children Mrs. Bethune and
Mrs. Smith until 1803, when Mrs. Smith removed from New York. After
that time she made her home with Mr. and Mrs. Bethune until her
departure to her heavenly home. They loved her not only from natural
affection, but for her superior worth. They believed that her prayers
brought a blessing on the family, as the ark of God did to the house
of Obed-Edom.
"MARCH, 1803.
"I read this day the 36th chapter of Ezekiel, and pleaded God's
promises from the 22d verse to the end, for myself, for my children,
and for my children's children; for the church of God throughout the
world, in particular for this country, for Britain and Ireland, France
and Germany, where his name was once known, and his gospel flourished.
That the Lord would 'build the waste places and repair the breaches;'
that he would 'purify the sons of Levi,' fill all pulpits with able,
faithful ministers of the new testament, who shall 'declare the whole
counsel of God;' and that wherever his name is recorded, the Holy
Ghost might fill the place, and convince the hearts of preachers and
hearers, of sin, of righteousness, and of judgment; might take of the
things of Christ and show unto them; and that the great Head of the
church might regulate and overrule all these breaches, differences,
and shakings in his churches.
"O Lord, I am ignorant; I know not the mind of the Spirit of
promise as thou knowest it. The promise of the fruit of the tree, and
the increase of the earth, of the corn, the wine, and the oil is
thine, as are all others. I am ignorant how far this refers to
spiritual prosperity, how far to temporal. I ask, O Lord, covenant
provision, the fruit of the seed sown in the hearts of men by thine
own Spirit; and that thou mayest build the ruined cities of thy
churches, and fill them 'with men like a flock, as the flock of
Jerusalem in her solemn feasts; so shall the waste cities be filled
with flocks of men, and they shall know that thou art the Lord.' Thy
fair, thy rich, thy beautiful creation is also the fruit of grace. The
wicked possess it, but they enjoy it not. Thy people are the heirs,
but thou, as a wise and merciful Father, givest them to possess
according as thy wisdom sees safe and good for them. When with the
things of this world they imbibe the spirit of the men of the world;
when they nestle in thy gifts and forget the Giver; when they enjoy
with a carnal spirit, and not with thankfulness and a due sense of
their dependence on thee as the God of providence as well as of grace;
thou, in mercy as in sovereignty, blastest their pleasant things,
mixest their cup of prosperity with wormwood and gall, or sweepest all
away with a turn of thy hand, that thou mayest teach them that man
doth not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of
the mouth of God; that thou mayest withdraw them from sinful purposes,
and hide pride from them; that thou mayest open their ears to
instruction, and seal it on their hearts: thou dashest to pieces their
broken cisterns, that thou mayest lead them back to the fountain of
living waters.
"It is good, O Lord, all good; I lay hold upon it: be thou the
provider of me and mine; feed us with food convenient for us. Thine
own word testifies that 'every creature of God is good, and nothing is
to be refused if it be received with thanksgiving, for it is
sanctified by the word of God and prayer.' I and the children for whom
I pray, possess many, yea, and abundance of temporal good things. O
Lord, give suitable grace, grace for grace. Spirit of grace, keep us
thankful, humble, dependent, spiritual; enable us to receive all
through a covenant channel, as the provision of our Father by the way,
through this wilderness. O may all be sanctified by thy word and
prayer, and we be enabled 'to eat and drink to thy glory.' Amen.
"Read the 138th Psalm: 'Though the Lord be high, yet hath he
respect unto the lowly; though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou
wilt revive me. The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me; thy
mercy, O Lord, endureth for ever; forsake not the works of thine
own hands.'
"Redeeming work is thy work; regenerating work is thy work;
sanctifying work is also thine.
"The first is finished, the second begun, to be perfected in the
third. O Lord, I hang on thy promises, which with Christ are all mine,
though I have not at all times the savor of them; this is mine
infirmity, and often my sin. O keep me looking unto Jesus."
"MARCH 25, 1803.
"Communion Sabbath, Dr. M---- preached from Romans 6:17: 'But God
be thanked that ye were'--were in the past time, not now--'the
servants of sin; but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of
doctrine which was delivered you.'
"O Lord, I believe the doctrines of thy gospel; I know that I am
delivered from sin as a master; it hath not dominion over my will, nor
entire dominion over my affections; I would be thine, thy servant, thy
child, thine in all obedience. I feel this new principle in the
desires of my soul. I would do all things to thee, in act and in
principle. But O, Lord, the old man is still here, harassing and
hindering my new will, which I have received from thee, from acting
with freedom and energy. Unhallowed motives steal in, by-ends present
themselves; and when outward duty is attained to, there is more of sin
than of righteousness. Though entered upon with some measure of
purity, yet before it is finished I am at a loss to discern the true
principle by which I am actuated. Lord, help me; hast thou not
promised to work in me both 'to will and to do of thy good pleasure?'
Is it not the grand end of thy death, that thou mightest purify to
thyself a glorious church, 'not having spot nor wrinkle, nor any such
thing;' and shall not I be a partaker? Art thou not made of God unto
thy people, wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption?
"O Lord, my heart pants for redemption from indwelling sin. This
depravity of my nature, this opposition, this evil that is ever
present with me when I would do good, this indolence, this
listlessness, this want of zeal, or else self-will, keenness of
temper, impatience, haste: O Lord, there is a host of enemies; gird
me, arm me, shield me, lead me forth under thy banner; be my
victorious King. 'I will go in thy name, trusting in thy promised
strength and grace to help in every time of need.' Glory be to God,
Father, Son, and blessed Spirit, for the grace in which I stand. But
for grace I had been a willing slave to sin to this hour. By that same
grace I shall one day attain to victory. I cast my burden on the Lord,
he will sustain until he deliver; I will go up through the wilderness,
trusting in the promises, and continue fighting in his strength. 'My
soul waits for thy salvation.' Lord, enable me to keep 'looking unto
Jesus, the author and finisher of faith.' O give faith in every part
of his mediatorial character. May I feed upon him and be strong for
this sore fight. Give courage, O Lord; press me forward: may I
resolve, and keep the resolution, to resist unto blood, striving
against sin.
"I have been a slothful servant in thy family, an idle laborer in
thy vineyard, 'an unfruitful branch,' a poor dwarfish member in thy
body. Grant, O grant a little fruit on the topmost bough. O, at the
'eleventh hour' may I begin to work, to bear some fruit, to the glory
of that grace by which my soul is saved from the wages of sin, death,
and hell, and made heir, by free gift, of the wages of righteousness,
eternal life, and glory. I wait for thy salvation."
There being no public, free, or Sabbath-schools in the city, Mrs.
Graham used her endeavors to promote such as would at least furnish
education to the children of the widows under her care; and several
young ladies offered their services, which she thus notices:
"FEBRUARY, 1804.
"A new thing is on the wheel in the city of New York. A society
of ladies, organized for the purpose of relieving widows with small
children, was new in this country. It is now, by the blessing of God,
apparently established. It was entered upon with prayer; it has been
conducted thus far with prayer. The blessing of God has rested upon
it, and much good has been done by it. Some of us have looked long,
and requested of God to open a way by which the children of these
widows might be instructed and taught to read his word, and by his
blessing on it, come to the knowledge of the way of salvation. One
means has been attempted of an ordinary kind: twelve children were
last week placed at school with Mrs. L----, to be taught to read, and
some more are to be placed with another of our widows, for the same
purpose. But this indeed is new. A society of young ladies, the first
in rank in the city, in the very bloom of life, and full of its
prospects, engaged in those pleasures and amusements which tend to
engross the mind and shut out every idea unconnected with them, coming
forward and offering--not to contribute towards a school, but their
own personal attendance to instruct the ignorant, O Lord, prosper
their work. If this be of thee, it shall prosper, and be productive of
much good; but if thou bless not, it will come to nothing but shame.
No good can be done but by thee, for there is none good but One;' and
what are all thy creatures, but instruments in thy hand, by which thou
bringest to pass the purposes of thy will? _Christians_,
redeemed, enlightened, sanctified, are no more; thou workest all their
works in them; they themselves are thy workmanship, created in Christ
Jesus unto good works, which thou hast prepared, that they should walk
in them. Worldlings also are thy instruments: by them thou workest and
bringest to pass the counsels of thy will; thou puttest into their
heart the good thing which thou workest, and girdest them for the
purpose: though not the children of thy covenant, they are the
instruments of thy providence.
"O Lord, take up this matter; gird these young women to this very
purpose, and prosper them in the art of teaching these orphans of thy
providence. And Oh, Lord, hear my more important petition. I am not
worthy to be heard. O Lord, I am not worthy to be named in connection
with any good done by thee. I am the chief of sinners, the chief of
backsliders; every thing in me, of me, or by me, is vile as far as it
is mine. All that is otherwise, all good implanted in me, or done by
me, is thine own; it is grace, free grace, the purchase of thine own
Anointed, my dear Redeemer, my dying, risen, ascended Saviour, and the
fruit of the Holy Ghost, the sent of the Father and of the Son, to set
up a kingdom of righteousness in the hearts of the redeemed. Let me,
as a sinner saved by grace, to whom thou hast been pleased to give the
exceeding great and precious promises--let me, under the sprinkling of
the blood of the covenant, and in entire dependence on my
surety-righteousness--let me draw near and present my petition, in the
name and for the sake of Him whom thou hearest always. O Lord God
Almighty, by this very thing, build up thy Zion. Lay hold of these
young creatures, and while they are in the way of thy providence,
bring them to the house of our master's brethren. O thou great
Teacher, teach thou teacher and taught. Be found of them who seek thee
not, and say with power, 'Behold me, behold me,' to a people not yet
called by thy name, and out of this small thing in thy providence,
bring revenues of praise to thy name as the God of grace. Amen.
"And now, O Lord, for myself, I pray for deep humility; I ask,
for His sake who was meek and lowly, to be kept where my place really
is, at the feet of all thy servants; and if it be thy pleasure to make
me a useful instrument, in proportion make me a humble soul. Let me
ever remember my ways and be ashamed, and never open my mouth any more
because of my shame, when thou art pacified towards me for all that I
have done. O keep me in this contrite frame of mind. In all that to
which thou callest me, give me a willing heart, and furnish me with
every necessary for thy glory. And now prepare me to speak to these
young women good and acceptable words. Save me from sacrificing truth,
or departing, in any respect, from Christian duty; give me such wisdom
as maybe suited to the occasion: in all things mine eyes are to the
Lord; from thee let my fruit be found."
"FEBRUARY 17, 1804.
"Saturday, the 11th, twenty-nine young ladies met with Mrs.
Hoffman and myself, at Mr. O. Hoffman's, Wall-street, on purpose to
receive instructions respecting the school; and having paired
themselves according to their mind, I delivered what I had prepared
for them: they all seemed hearty in their engagement; and on Monday,
the 13th inst., Miss L----t and Miss L----n attended at the
school-room and commenced teaching thirteen children; four have been
added since.
"Again, O Lord, let me request thy blessing on this institution;
put thy seal upon it, and mark it for thine own. Gird the teachers for
their work, and open the minds of the scholars to instruction. And O,
Lord, in thine own time, and by means of thine own devising, provide
spiritual instruction for teachers and taught. Is it thy pleasure,
Lord, that I attend the children on a day appointed for the purpose?
Wilt thou accept of me as an instrument by which thou wilt do good to
the souls of these children; and wilt thou keep me humble and contrite
in my own soul? Bless also Mrs. L----'s school; there too let thy work
appear; deal with her soul as 'thou dealest with thy chosen;' teach
her the way of salvation, and make her a teacher by thine own Spirit.
If it be my dear Master's pleasure to use me, I would also attend that
school as his instrument. 'Search me, O Lord, and know my heart; try
me, and know my thoughts; and see if there be any wicked way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.'"
Mrs. Graham's address to the young ladies, above alluded to, is
given as a specimen of the appropriateness of her addresses on similar
occasions, and as an incentive to kindred exertions in every condition
of life.
"MY DEAR YOUNG LADIES--Every thing new becomes matter of
speculation and variety of opinion.
"An association of ladies for the relief of destitute widows and
orphans, was a new thing in this country. It was feeble in its origin,
the jest of most, the ridicule of many, and it met the opposition of
not a few. The men could not allow our sex the steadiness and
perseverance necessary to establish such an undertaking. But God put
_his_ seal upon it; and under his fostering care it has prospered
beyond the most sanguine expectations of its propagators. Its fame is
spread over the United States, and celebrated in foreign countries. It
has been a precedent to many cities, who have followed the laudable
example. This fame is not more brilliant than just. The hungry are
fed, the naked are clothed, shelter is provided for the outcasts,
medicine and cordials for the sick, and the soothing voice of sympathy
cheers the disconsolate. Who are the authors of all these blessings?
Your mothers, ladies, the benevolent members of this so justly famed
Society. But who are these children that idly ramble through the
streets, a prey to growing depravity and vicious example? hark, they
_quarrel_, they _swear_, and such no doubt will _lie_ and _steal_. And
that group of dear little creatures, running about in the most
imminent danger, apparently without protection, are they under the
care of this so justly famed society? They are; they are fed, they are
clothed, their mother's fireside is made warm for them; but no culture
is provided for their minds, nor protection from baneful example.
These will in time follow that of the older ones, and grow up the
slaves of idleness and vice, the certain road to ruin.
"Alas, alas, and is there no help--no preventive? Yes, there is.
Behold the angelic band; hail, ye virtuous daughters; worthy of your
virtuous mothers, come forward and tread in their steps. Snatch these
little ones from the whirling vortex; bring them to a place of safety;
teach them to know their Father, God: tell them of their Saviour's
love; lead them through the history of his life; mark to them the
example he set, the precepts he recorded for their observance, and the
promises for their comfort. And by teaching them to read, enable them
to retrace all your instructions when their eyes see you no more.
"My dear young ladies, the sacrifice you have made shall most
assuredly meet its reward: but like your mothers, you will experience
much painful banter, you will be styled school-madams. Let it pass;
suffer it quietly; when your scheme begins to ripen and the fruits
appear, who shall be able to withhold their praise? Only be steadfast,
draw not back and justify the prophecies of many.
"A great general, in ancient times, in search of glory, landed
his troops on the hostile coast, and then burnt all his ships: they
must conquer, or die. You have, ladies, already embarked in this
design; there is no remaining neuter now; your name and undertaking
are in every mouth; you must press forward and justify your cause: and
justified it shall be, if you persevere; it cannot be otherwise. The
benevolence you contemplate is as superior to that already in
operation, as the interest of the soul is to that of the body; and it
is your own--the very scheme originated in a young mind in this
company. The society were contemplating mercenary agents, schools for
pay, and one is already established.
"But this labor of love; who could have hoped for it? A society
of _young ladies,_ in rank the first in the city, in the very bloom
of life, and full of its prospects, engaged in those pleasures and
amusements which generally engross the mind, and shut out every idea
unconnected with self, coming forward and offering--what? not their
purses, that were _trash;_ but their own personal services to
instruct the ignorant, and become the saviors of many of their sex.
It is indeed a new thing, and more strange in this age of dissipation
than that institution from which it sprung. May this too become the
darling of Providence. May God put his seal upon this also. May he
bless and prosper you in this undertaking, bless you, and make you
a blessing."
We next have her wrestling supplications for the revival of God's
work in the church with which she was connected.
"FEBRUARY 21, 1804.
"O Thou, who art Alpha and Omega, the first and the last, who
holdest the seven stars in thy right hand, and walkest in the midst of
the seven golden candle-sticks, who livest and was dead, and art alive
for evermore. Amen. And hast the keys of hell and of death. Out of thy
mouth goeth a sharp twoedged sword, by which thou reachest the hearts
of the most hardened. O write with power, speak with power, in the
heart of the angel of this church. Hast thou not in former days had
thy dwelling among them? in days of trouble didst thou not work in
them the fruits of labor and patience, so that for thy name's sake
they labored and fainted not? Thou blessedst them and gave them peace,
and they rejoiced in the light of thy countenance; thou multipliedst
them also, so that from a handful they became _two bands_. Alas,
Lord, we have, Jeshurun-like, 'waxed fat and kicked;' we have left our
first love; we have not watched and prayed, as thou gavest
commandment, and thou hast left us to enter into temptation; we have
forsaken the counsel of our old men, and given heed to flatterers; we
have forgotten our dependence on thee, and said, 'Ashur shall save us,
we will ride upon horses.' We have set up our idols in our hearts, and
put the stumbling-block of our iniquity before our eyes; we have taken
counsel, but not of thee, and covered ourselves with a covering, but
not of thy Spirit; we have gloried in our own wisdom, and strengthened
ourselves in our own strength.
"We are poor, and blind, and miserable, and naked; rich in our
fancied wisdom, seeing by our own light, and compassing ourselves
about with our own sparks; we feed on ashes: a deceived heart has
turned us aside.
"'O Lord, the hope of Israel, and the Saviour thereof.' It is of
the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed. To us belong shame and
confusion of face--O cover us with it--but to thee belongs mercy.
Humble us, O Lord, and we shall be humbled; 'turn us, and we shall
be turned.'
"It is in our nature to backslide for ever; thou, and thou only,
knowest the deceitfulness of the heart; thou, and thou only, canst
search it. O search us, and try us, and show us what wicked ways there
are in us, and lead us in the way everlasting. Deal not with us
according to our sins, but according to the multitude of thine own
mercies. We have no other plea; our sins call for judgment, and until
thou, thine own blessed self, turn us, we are in no situation to
receive mercy. Work with us for thy name's sake, establish with us
thine own covenant of free, unmerited, undeserved mercy. Then shall we
know that thou art the Lord.
"Make us thine by thine own covenant, established in Christ,
thine own anointed; the blessed surety, by thine own appointment; our
substitute, on whom it hath pleased thee to lay the iniquities of us
all; in whose sacred person thou tookest vengeance for all our sins;
by whom thy law is fulfilled, magnified, and made honorable; whose
doing and suffering in our stead is accepted by Jehovah. 'The Lord is
well pleased for his righteousness' sake.' No covenant short of one
fulfilled in every jot and tittle could benefit us.
"Thy covenant is well-ordered in all things, and it is sure.
"Here, O Lord, I take my stand; here I lay my foundation, and on
this thy covenant I build; or rather, here thou thyself hast laid my
foundation, and on this rock hast thou set my soul and built my hopes,
thou subduing my enmity. I acquiesce. I will now 'remember the years
of thy hand,' look back to thy dealings with thine own nation, whom
thou didst choose and set apart from all other nations, though of the
same blood with all those that dwell on the face of the whole earth.
"They, like us, destroyed themselves, but in thee was their help.
They also sinned, committed iniquity, and did wickedly; they
remembered not thy mercy, but provoked thee at the Red sea, after the
great deliverance thou hadst wrought for them, and the wonders thou
madest to pass before them in the land of Egypt. Nevertheless thou
savedst them for thy name's sake, that thou mightest make thy mighty
power known; thou didst repeat thy wonders, and didst dry up the sea
before them. He fed them with corn from heaven; they did eat angel's
food. He clave the rock in the wilderness, and caused waters to run
down like a river. After all, they forsook the God of their mercies;
they believed not his promises, nor trusted in his salvation; they
lusted, and they murmured, and desired to turn back to Egypt. Thou
didst chasten them sore for their sin, and didst bring down their
heart with grief.
"When thou didst slay them, they sought thee, and remembered
that God was their rock, and the most high God their Redeemer.
Nevertheless they did flatter with their mouth and lied unto thee with
their tongue, for their heart was not right with thee, neither were
they steadfast in thy covenant. But thou being full of compassion,
forgavest their iniquity and destroyedst them not; yea, many a time
turnedst thou away thine anger, and didst not stir up all thy wrath.
"O how many times did they turn back, tempted God, and limited
the Holy One of Israel. Yet did he fulfil all his promises, and by
wonders in the sea, wonders in the desert, wonders in Zoan's field,
and in the camps of their enemies, he led them safely to the border of
his sanctuary, to the mountain which his right hand had purchased. He
cast out the heathen before them, and gave them rest in the land of
promise. Even there they provoked the Most High, provoked him to
jealousy with their graven images.
"Again thou didst chasten them sore, let loose the corruptions of
men upon them, and suffer them to fall before their enemies. Thou
deliveredst thy strength into captivity, and thy glory into the hands
of their enemies.
"Yet, O Lord, again didst thou deliver them, and sentest
provision for them by thine own covenant. Thou didst choose David thy
servant, and take him from the sheep-folds. Thou broughtest him to
feed Jacob thy people, and Israel thine inheritance. So he fed them
according to the integrity of his heart, and guided them by the
skilfulness of his hands.
"Such are the people with whom thou hast still to do. Such, O God
of infinite mercy, such the God with whom we sinners have to do, even
'the Lord God, merciful and gracious, keeping mercy for thou sands,
forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin; and that will by no means
clear the guilty.' O what could man or angel have done with this last
character of thy name? Thy covenant makes provision. In Christ Jesus,
our blessed substitute, all is reconciled. Thy name is one; the just
God, and the justifier of the ungodly who believe in Jesus; This God
is our God; we will make mention of his righteousness, and his only.
By his own covenant, in his own time, and by means of his own
providing, he will revive us. Amen."
"APRIL, 1804
"All my desire is before thee, and it is all contained in thy
well-ordered covenant. Many years of vanity, of idolatry, of
backsliding, wandering, and folly have passed over my head since I
first took hold of thy covenant. How fickle, false, and deceitful have
I proved; yet thou knowest, thine own Spirit through all my wanderings
testified in my heart, that out of the channel of this covenant there
could be neither safety nor comfort; and never, so far as I can
remember, have I deliberately chosen to be dealt with by any other.
Its corrections and chastisements have reached the deepest
sensibilities of my heart. Thine arrows stuck fast in me, thy hand
pressed me sore; there was no soundness in my flesh, neither rest in
my bones, because of my sin; mine iniquities went over my head, were a
burden too heavy to bear. I was feeble and sore broken, and roared by
reason of the disquiet of my heart. My lovers and friends stood aloof
from my sore, and my kinsmen stood afar off. I was ready to halt, and
my sorrow was continually before me; yet even in my darkest, deepest
afflictions, when deep called to deep, and thy waves and billows were
passing over me; when my soul seemed sinking in the mire where there
was no standing, I groped in the dark; my heart panted, my strength
failed, and the light of mine eyes seemed gone out. I was weak with my
groaning; in the night I made my bed to swim with my tears; yet even
then, by that same covenant by which I was suffering, light sprang out
of darkness, glimmering hope in the midst of despair. I remembered the
years of thy right hand; in the multitude of my thoughts within
me--the provision made in this covenant--thy comforts delighted
my soul.
"I was furnished with a plea which would condemn, by every
covenant but thine: Pardon my iniquities, for they are great. Thou,
even thou, art he who blottest out transgressions as a cloud, and
iniquity as a thick cloud. Verily thou art a God that pardoneth,
though thou takest vengeance on the inventions of thy rebellious
children. 'Vengeance!' not the vengeance of the curse; no, that, O
thou blessed Covenant, thou blessed Surety, that fell on thy devoted
head. Thou by this covenant wast 'made a curse for us.' Thou didst
tread the wine-press alone, and of the people there was none to help
thee. Thou didst expend the last drop of that cup of vengeance. Every
cup put into our hand, though a cup of trembling, is a cup of
blessing. I this day take a fresh hold of thy covenant, for myself,
for my children, and for my children's children, to the latest
generation. For my brother and sister, for their children, and
children's children; for the near concerns of our dear D. B----; and
for all whom I carry on my mind to thy throne of grace. This is the
sum and substance of my prayers. Bring them into the bond of this
covenant, and deal with them according to the order of it, and the
provision made for them in it, in all possible circumstances. Amen.
"O God, in the multitude of thy mercies hear me, in the truth of
thy salvation. Truth of thy salvation! thou only knowest the truth of
thy salvation. How little do we know of thy work. Many of those
providences which appear to us dark and dismal, are wheels turning
round 'the truth of thy salvation;' opening our blinded eyes to the
issues of sin, and also delivering from the snares of the devil. Deal
not, O Lord, with me, and mine, as our iniquities deserve; this has
never been thy way with us; but according to thy former
loving-kindness, and to all the long-suffering, patience, and
pardoning mercy which thy aged servant has experienced through her
sinful guilty pilgrimage. Thou hast forgiven me all the way from
Egypt. Leave me not now, when I am old and grey-headed; but when
strength and heart fail, be thou the strength of my heart and portion
for ever. Amen."
The winter of 1804-5 was unusually severe: the river Hudson was
shut by frost as early as November; fuel was consequently scarce and
dear, and the poor suffered greatly. Mrs. Graham visited those parts
of the city where the poorer class of sufferers dwelt;* in upwards of
two hundred families she either found a Bible their property, or gave
them one; praying with them in their affliction. She requested a
friend to write, first one religious tract and then another, suited to
the peculiar situation of those afflicted people. One was called, "A
Donation to Poor Widows with Small Children;" the other, "A Second
Visit to Poor Widows with Small Children." And lest it might be said
it was cheap to give advice, she usually gave a small sum of money
along with the tracts she distributed. There was at this time neither
a Bible nor Tract Society in New York. Mrs. Hoffman accompanied her in
many of her excursions. In the course of their visits, they discovered
a French family from St. Domingo in such extremity of distress as made
them judge it necessary to report their case to the Honorable Dewitt
Clinton, then mayor of the city. The situation of this family being
made public, three hundred dollars were voluntarily contributed for
their relief. Roused by this incident, a public meeting was called at
the Tontine Coffee-house, and committees from the different wards were
appointed to aid the corporation in ascertaining and supplying the
immediate wants of the suffering poor. The zeal of Mrs. Graham and
Mrs. Hoffman paved the way for this public-spirited exertion, which
probably was the means of saving the lives of some of the destitute
and friendless.
*The following notice of these scenes appeared in one
of the periodical publications of the day:
"When sorrow shrunk before the piercing wind,
And famine, shelterless, in suffering pined;
When sickness drooped in solitary pain,
Mid varying misery's relentless reign;
Oh, then tumultuous rose the plaints of grief,
And loud and strong the clamors for relief!
Then active charity, with boundless care,
From gloomy faces chased the fiend Despair,
Dispelled the horrors of the wintry day,
And none that asked went unrelieved away.
"Yet there are some who sorrow's vigils keep,
Unknown that languish, undistinguished weep;
Behold yon ruined building's shattered walls,
Where drifting snow through many a crevice falls;
Whose smokeless vent no blazing fuel knows,
But drear and cold the widow's mansion shows;
Her fragile form, by sickness deeply riven,
Too weak to face the driving blasts of heaven,
Her voice too faint to reach some pitying ear,
Her shivering babes command her anguished tear:
Their feeble cries in vain assistance crave,
And expectation 'points but to the grave.'
"But lo, with hasty step a female form
Glides through the wind and braves the chilling storm,
With eager hand now shakes the tottering door,
Now rushes breathless o'er the snow-clad floor.
Her tongue soft comfort to the mourner speaks,
Her silver voice with soft emotion breaks;
Round the drear hovel roves her moistened eye,
Her graceful bosom heaves the lengthened sigh.
"I know thee now--I know that angel frame--
O that the muse might dare to breathe thy name:
Nor thine alone, but all that sister-band
Who scatter gladness o'er a weeping land;
Who comfort to the infant sufferer bring,
And 'teach with joy the widow's heart to sing.'
"For this, no noisy honors fame shall give,
In your own breasts your gentle virtues live;
No sounding numbers shall your names reveal,
But your own hearts the rich reward shall feel.
"ALBERT."
In the month of August, 1805, Mrs. Graham paid another visit to
her friends in Boston, of whom she spoke with much affection and
esteem. She used to mention, with peculiar approbation, a society of
pious ladies there, who met once in every week for prayer and mutual
edification.
On returning to New York, she again wrote to her friend Mrs.
C----, renewing her endeavors for her consolation and establishment in
the faith of Christ; and soon after informed her of the dangerous
illness of two of her grandchildren, one of whom, in the righteous
dispensations of an unerring Providence, was taken, and the
other left.
To Mrs. C----, Boston.
"GREENWICH, N.Y., Sept. 26, 1805.
"MY DEAR FRIEND--I arrived here on Monday. I found my children in
health, but much affected with the death of the amiable youth M----,
and the melancholy situation of his bereaved parents.
"The epidemic spreads over the city in every direction among the
few remaining in it. All the public offices are here; crowds of the
citizens, and houses and stores spring up in a day; all is bustle and
confusion, and all seem mad on business.
"Parting with my dear friend was most painful, so painful that
nothing could alleviate it but the presence of my own children, who,
could there have been room from deeper sorrows, would have shared it
with me. O that I could put my God in my place in your heart. What are
earthly friends? How few are steady against all change of
circumstances; of these, fewer still have it in their power to supply
every link of friendship's chain; a thousand unforeseen incidents
disappoint their wishes and frustrate their hopes, rendering abortive
their greatest exertions. But there is a Friend, everywhere present,
thoroughly acquainted with every circumstance of the heart and of the
life; all-powerful to relieve; whose love is invariable, and ever the
most tender when every other friend stands aloof; a friend in
adversity, 'a friend who sticketh closer than a brother,' whose love
surpasseth the love of women. This Friend receiveth sinners--casts out
none who come to him. He was never known to disappoint the hopes of
any poor sinner. He receives them into his heart; he takes all their
burdens and cares on himself, pays all their debts, answers all
demands against them, and is every way surety for them; they become
his own, no one has any thing to say to them but himself. He knows
them--how apt to err, to wander, yea, to forget him, and prove
ungrateful; all this he knows, but he has made provision for all. He
has a rod, and he will subdue their iniquities. He will heal their
backslidings, he will bring back and restore his wanderers. He will in
due time perfect what concerns them, and present them to his Father
purified, without spot or wrinkle.
"In the meantime he requires them to confide in him; to go up
through this wilderness leaning upon him; to tell him all their
complaints and griefs, and to comfort themselves: and he will impress
the comfort by means of his great and precious promises, scattered
like so many pearls through his sacred Bible, tabled there on purpose
for us to ground our prayers upon, and delight ourselves in. This is
your friend's Friend, and of ten thousand besides. This was the wicked
Magdalene's Friend; this, the persecuting Paul's Friend, wicked
Manasseh's Friend; the adulterous, murdering David's Friend. And he is
your Friend, though your eyes are holden that you see him not. He is
leading you by a way that you know not. This is one of his characters,
'I will bring the blind by a way that they know not.'
"I was happy to find your niece was to return with Mr. C----;
but, my dear, a painful dread has assaulted my peace, lest Satan get
the advantage by means of a stranger in the family, and undo what has
been begun. The world may have peace without God; but you shall not.
You have, however feebly, taken hold of his covenant, and he will keep
you to your choice. 'If his children forsake his laws and go astray,'
etc. Psalm 79:30."
"NOVEMBER, 1805.
"MY DEAR FRIEND--This is not our rest; through much tribulation
all Christ's disciples must follow him. There is a rest prepared for
the people of God: as far as tasted in this world--and in this world
it is tasted--it consists in a mind resigned to the will of God in
proportion as it can say, 'Thy will be done on earth, as it is done in
heaven.' Christ himself was made perfect through suffering, and all
his followers shall be so in their appointed measure. What is our cup
to his? O my dear friend, we are ransomed, we are redeemed, and we are
fitting and preparing for the purchased inheritance, that perfect rest
prepared for the people of God when their warfare is finished. Let him
do all his pleasure with us here; let him subdue our iniquities in his
own way; let him glorify his name by our sufferings--his glory is ever
connected with his people's best interests. We shall one day
acknowledge that he has done all things well, and that not one word of
all that he has promised has failed.
"It has pleased the Lord to take from us our dear sweet Rebecca;
young as she was, through much tribulation she entered in: I have
scarcely seen severer suffering, nor a harder dismission. It is well;
the Lord will answer his own ends by it for the good of all concerned,
as well as for his own glory. Our dear G---- was ill at the same time,
and all hope was lost as to him also; for a whole week we looked upon
him as dying, A bold measure was taken with him, which succeeded; the
Lord had commanded life; it was not thought of for her. God had
appointed to her entrance into life eternal. It is all well. Blessed,
blessed be his name; for her he has taken and him he has restored,
both equally. I.G. S---- was confined at the same time with a broken
arm; N. B---- with the fever and pleurisy. Deep have been the wounds in
this aged heart, not yet weaned from earth, but tremblingly alive to
every thing that concerns my children. Yet I do give up. I have asked
but one thing with importunity, and by that I abide. I did not ask for
temporal life, but the life which Christ died to purchase, and lives
to bestow; let him answer my petition by means of his own appointing:
by health or by sickness, by riches or by poverty, by long life or
early deaths--only let all mine by the ties of nature, be his by
regeneration of his Spirit."
Having felt the trials and the responsibilities of widowhood, she
wrote to her brother's widow, Mrs. Marshall, in 1805:
"You are now, my dear sister, the only head of your family. Will
you take Joshua's determination? 'As for me and my house, we will
serve the Lord.' Take hold of God's covenant for your orphan children
as for yourself, and consider them as his, to be brought up for him.
Be a priestess in your own house, and keep up the worship of God daily
in your family, and confess your Lord and Master before angels, men,
and devils. Those who thus honor God, he will honor.
"You are indeed, my dear, arrived at an important stage of your
journey through this great wilderness. You are now the head of the
family, and are to God immediately answerable. No earthly
consideration must make you give up the government of it, nor the
prerogative which he hath given you, to counsel, and even beseech your
household to serve the Lord. You cannot give grace; you cannot give
life; and where there is no life there can be no spiritual exercise:
but you may use means, although there is much prudence to be observed
to avoid disgust.
"Be faithful, then, my dear sister, to your important trust. See
that your household remember the Sabbath-day to keep it holy; your
children, of course, will accompany you to the house of God, but let
not your servants absent themselves from his ordinances, and endeavor,
on your return home, to explain and bring home the word that may have
been spoken to their consciences. Above all, let it be your constant
aim to set before them a godly, consistent example, and be much
engaged in prayer for them--I mean for your servants as well as for
your children, and God will, in all probability, make you a mother in
Israel, the mother of many spiritual children, and turn your captivity
into rejoicing, and fill your mouth with songs of praise; or should
you not have this comfort, should the night of adversity last to the
very valley of the shadow of death, the morning of eternal rest shall
then beam forth upon your own soul, and your prayers may be answered
for others, when the eyes that wept and the breast that heaved are at
rest in the dust. O, then, my sister, possess your soul in patience,
and seek to make daily advances in holiness."
CHAPTER IX.
ORPHAN ASYLUM SOCIETY--FOREIGN
MISSIONARIES--LETTERS.
On the 15th of March, 1806, the female subscribers to proposals
for providing an asylum for orphan children met at the City Hotel;
Mrs. Graham was called to the chair, a society organized, and a board
of direction chosen, Mrs. Hoffman was elected the first directress of
the Orphan Asylum Society. Mrs. Graham continued in the office of
first directress of the Widows' Society, but took a deep interest in
the success of the Orphan Asylum also; she, or one of her family,
taught the orphans daily, until the funds of the institution were
sufficient to provide a teacher and superintendent. She was a trustee
at the time of her decease. The wish to establish this new society was
occasioned by the pain which it gave the ladies of the Widows' Society
to behold a family of orphans driven, on the decease of a widow, to
seek refuge in the almshouse; no melting heart to feel, no redeeming
hand to rescue them from a situation so unpromising for mental and
moral improvement.
"Among the afflicted of our suffering race," thus speaks the
constitution of the society, "none makes a stronger or more impressive
appeal to humanity than the _destitute orphan_. Crime has not
been the cause of its misery, and future usefulness may yet be the
result of its protection; the reverse is often the case of more aged
objects. God himself has marked the fatherless as the peculiar
subjects of his divine compassion. 'A Father of the fatherless is God
in his holy habitation,' 'When my father and my mother forsake me,
then the Lord will take me up.' To be the blessed instrument of,
divine Providence in making good the promise of God, is a privilege
equally desirable and honorable to the benevolent heart.'"
And truly God has made good his promise towards this benevolent
institution. He has crowned the undertaking with his remarkable
blessing. It was begun by his disciples in faith, and he has
acknowledged them in it. Having for fourteen months occupied a hired
house for an asylum, the ladies entertained the bold idea of building
an asylum on account of the society. They had then about three hundred
and fifty dollars as the commencement of a fund for the building; they
purchased four lots of ground in the village of Greenwich, on a
healthful, elevated site, possessing a fine prospect. The corner-stone
was laid on the 7th of July, 1807. They erected a building fifty feet
square; from time to time they proceeded to finish the interior of the
building, and to purchase additional ground as their funds would
permit; and such was the liberality of the legislature and of the
public, that the society soon possessed a handsome building and nearly
an acre of ground, all of which must have cost them little short of
twenty-five thousand dollars. In that house Mrs. Graham and Mrs.
Hoffman spent much of their time; there they trained for eternity the
children of those whose widowed dying mothers they had cheered with
the hope that when they should be taken away, God would fulfil his
gracious promise and preserve their fatherless children alive.
Mrs. Hoffman survived Mrs. Graham seven years. Her end, like that
of her friend, was peace. But though God removed those mothers in
Israel, their prayers are still before him, and the institution
continues to prosper. In 1836, the city having extended to where the
asylum was situated, and the property at the same time increased in
value, the society became desirous to remove where the children would
enjoy purer air, and have greater convenience for a garden and pasture
for cows. With the advice of their patrons, they sold the property for
about thirty-nine thousand dollars; purchased nearly ten acres of
ground at Bloomingdale, and on the 9th of June the same year laid the
foundation-stone of their present beautiful building.
In the Thirty-fourth Annual Report of the society for 1840, we
find the following record of God's goodness:
"On no former occasion has the board of direction been privileged
to make to the friends and patrons of this institution a more
favorable report than the present. The orphan's home is completed, and
the beautiful building on the banks of the Hudson is alike an ornament
to the city and a memorial of the liberality of its inhabitants.
Within it are found, not only ample accommodations for a numerous
family, but a place for the Lord, a habitation for the orphans' God.
On the 19th of November last the chapel was opened for religious
worship; the services were performed by reverend clergy of different
denominations; and a highly respectable and apparently gratified
audience attended. All the children, one hundred and sixty-five in
number, were present, from the infant in arms to the youth who will
this day pronounce the valedictory.
"To those who have witnessed the progress of this institution
from the _small frame-house_ of 1806 to the noble edifice of
1840, accompanied by the recollection that the door has never been
closed against the destitute orphan, how deep must be the conviction
of an overruling Providence--the truth of the declaration, that God is
the father of the fatherless in his holy habitation, and the
fulfilment of his gracious promise, 'Leave thy fatherless children, I
will preserve them alive.' Nor is the orphan family merely furnished
with sufficient accommodation for dwelling and moral and religious
education: the grounds afford ample room for exercise and recreation;
the garden supplies them with fruit and vegetables; and there being
pasture for several cows, wholesome milk is added to their simple
breakfast, while the abounding river invigorates the frame by a saline
bath, and by casting a net into it, furnishes an occasional dinner of
fresh fish."
The society, ever grateful to the founders, have erected a tablet
on the wall of the beautiful chapel, which bears the following
inscription:
SACRED TO THE MEMORY
OF
ISABELLA GRAHAM,
WHO DIED 27TH JULY, 1814;
AND OF
MRS. SARAH HOFFMAN,
WHO DIED 29TH JULY, 1821.
THEY WERE BOTH FOUNDERS OF THIS INSTITUTION.
TO THEIR PRAYER OF FAITH,
AND WISDOM IN DIRECTING ITS COUNSELS,
THE SOCIETY IS INDEBTED FOR MUCH OF THE SUCCESS THAT HAS
ATTENDED IT.
THEY WERE LOVELY IN THEIR LIVES,
AND DURING MANY YEARS THEY TRAVELLED TOGETHER THE WALKS
OF CHARITY.
WHEN THE EAR HEARD THEM IT BLESSED THEM, AND THEY CAUSED THE
WIDOW'S HEART TO SING FOR JOY.
THEY NOW REST FROM THEIR LABORS,
PARTAKERS OF THE BLESSEDNESS OF THOSE
WHO DIE IN THE LORD:
THEIR WORKS DO FOLLOW THEM.
The success which has attended the Orphan Asylum Society,
furnishes strong encouragement to attempt great and good objects even
with slender means. God in his providence will command a blessing on
exertions of this character. It is too common a mistake, and one fatal
to the progress of improvement, that great means should be in actual
possession before great objects should be attempted. Ah, were our
dependence simply on apparent instruments, how small must be our hopes
of success. There is a mystery, yet a certainty, in the manner by
which God is pleased in his providence to conduct feeble means to a
happy conclusion. Has he not preserved, cherished, and blessed his
church through many ages, amidst overwhelming persecutions, and that
often by means apparently inadequate to this end? We must work for, as
well as pray for the blessing which God has promised to bestow on our
sinful race. We must put our shoulder to the wheel, while we look up
to heaven for assistance, and God will bless those who are found in
the path of duty.
In this asylum, the ladies have set no limits to the number to be
received; and it has pleased God also not to set limits to the means
necessary for their support. The institution is a great favorite with
the public, and is frequently visited by strangers, who are delighted
with the cleanliness, health, and cheerful countenances of the
orphans.
The Society have received a charter of incorporation from the
legislature; they have a handsome seal, with this inscription:
"Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these, ye have
done it unto me."
For several years it was customary with Mrs. Graham to visit the
New York hospital; and before the admirable provision since made for
the separate care of those mentally deranged, she paid a particular
attention to patients of this description.
To the apartments appropriated to sick female convicts in the
state prison, she also made many visits; she met with some affecting
circumstances among this class.
In the winter of 1807-8, when the suspension of commerce by the
embargo rendered the situation of the poor more destitute than ever,
Mrs. Graham adopted a plan best calculated in her view to detect the
idle applicant for charity, and at the same time to furnish employment
for the more worthy among the female poor. She purchased flax, and
lent wheels where applicants had none. Such as were industrious, took
the work with thankfulness and were paid for it; those who were
beggars by profession never kept their word by returning for the flax
or the wheel. The flax thus spun was afterwards wove, bleached, and
made into table-cloths and towels for family use.
Mrs. Graham used to remark, that until some institution should be
formed to furnish employment for industrious poor women, the work of
charity would be incomplete. It was about this time that, deeming the
duties too laborious for her health, she resigned the office of first
directress of the Widows' Society, and took the place of a manager.
She afterwards declined this also, and became a trustee of the Orphan
Asylum Society, as more suited to her advanced period of life.
The lady to whom the following letter was addressed was Miss
FARQUHARSON, a person of genuine piety and worth, whom Mrs. Graham had
educated and prepared to become her assistant in teaching. When Mrs.
Graham retired from her school, Miss Farquharson declined to succeed
her, preferring to accompany and enjoy the society of her patroness
and friend. Until 1804 she proved as efficient an assistant to Mrs.
Graham in her charitable labors in the Widows' Society and
Sabbath-school, as she had been in her boarding-school.
During the prevalence of the yellow-fever in 1804, she was called
to attend her own dying mother, and underwent so much fatigue, that on
her return to Mrs. Graham she broke a bloodvessel, and for four months
was confined to her room, during all which time Mrs. Graham attended
her night and day. Her medical attendants prescribed a long voyage and
residence in a hot climate as the only means of saving her life. About
that time Mr. Andrew Smith was preparing to sail for the East Indies
with his family, by the way of England. With them she embarked. She
sojourned several weeks in Birmingham, and there the circumstances
commenced which eventually led Miss Farquharson to become a
missionary's wife, and the first American missionary to foreign lands.
Her history has been published by Rev. Mr. Knill, in a tract entitled,
"The Missionary's Wife."
The London Missionary Society were preparing to establish a
mission in the idolatrous city of Surat, but the East India Company
would not allow Christian missionaries to sail in their ships. The
Society thankfully availed themselves of the privilege of sending Mr.
Loveless and Dr. Taylor in the American ship Alleghany. They arrived
in Madras, June, 1805.
During the voyage an attachment was formed between Mr. Loveless
and Miss Farquharson which death only could sever, and introduced her
to scenes of usefulness for more than thirty years, for which she was
eminently qualified by early training. As soon as Mrs. Graham heard
how her friend was going to be employed, she wrote to her as follows:
"MY DEAR SALLY--Many tears have I shed over your letter. What a
changing lot has been that of my family! The Lord's providences to me
and mine have not been of the ordinary kind, and you, as one in it,
seem to be a partaker with us. Surely, of all others, we have most
reason to say, We are strangers and pilgrims on the earth. Oh that we
may drink into the true spirit of that phrase, and enjoy the genuine,
firm faith of an everlasting habitation, of living at home with God.
"My dear Sally, take the comfort of this, that it is the Lord who
hath led you all the way by which you have gone. Of all persons whom I
know, you were, from your temper and disposition, the least likely to
travel, still less to continue a traveller. No ordinary means would
have led you to leave your friends and religious privileges. And many
a pang it has cost me, on reflection, to think how positive I was that
you should take the voyage. But it was of the Lord. The physicians
urged it as the only chance you had for life, and they had reason; for
of all those who were attacked in the same manner, there is not one
alive, within my knowledge, at this day.
"The Lord, by wonderful means, called you from your native land,
and led you to the very spot where you met Mr. Loveless. The same God,
being also his God, led him, by means perhaps equally unforeseen and
uncommon, to the same spot, united your hearts to each other, and made
you one in his hand, and I trust to his glory. You ask my blessing: I
have carried both of you to my God and Saviour, and have prayed, and
continue to pray, that the Lord will bless you individually and
unitedly, give you much sweet communion with himself, and much social
enjoyment with him and with one another. May he bless Mr. Loveless as
a missionary, and give him the spirit of his office, and much fruit
among the heathen, as seals to his ministry; and may you be a helper
with him, and both be blessed and made a blessing.
"I feel my loss. You were a comfort and a help to us all,
especially to me: but I do not mourn; I heartily acquiesce. This is
not only agreeable to me, as it is one of God's wise arrangements to
you and us all, but I think it will be more to your comfort. Religion
and conjugal love will sweeten almost any lot. It is the Lord's
appointment and his richest earthly blessing.
"My dear Sally, I have ever considered you as my child. You are
very dear to my heart. Tell Mr. Loveless he must ever consider me as
his mother.
"Your affectionate mother,
"ISABELLA GRAHAM."
In the month of January, 1807, the London Missionary Society, of
which Mr. Bethune was a foreign director, sent to this country the
Rev. Messrs. Gordon, Lee, and Morrison; the two first to sail in an
American ship for the East Indies, and Mr. Morrison for China. These
devoted missionaries shared largely in the hospitalities of Christians
in New York, and spent much of their time with Mr. Bethune's family.
Mrs. Graham took great delight in conversing and advising with them,
and though none of her letters addressed to them have come to hand, it
is believed she corresponded with them. The following extract of a
letter from Dr. Morrison, indicates the respect and Christian
affection with which he regarded her.
"ON BOARD THE TRIDENT, May 24, 1807.
"MY EVER DEAR MOTHER GRAHAM--I think you were led by the special
interference of our gracious Lord, to put into my hands the work which
you did, accompanied by the edifying and comforting letter which you
wrote me.
"I thank you for telling me what God did for your soul, and join
with you in ascribing to the Lord salvation and honor. I had, my
mother, from the time of leaving my dear relations and friends, passed
through waters deep as the fathomless ocean which I crossed; but with
the Lord there is mercy; with him is 'plenteous redemption.' He is
ready to forgive. He has restored to me, in some measure, 'the joy of
his salvation,' and will not, I trust, take his Holy Spirit from me.
This is my prayer. To-day he enabled me, on board of this vessel, to
open my lips to teach transgressors his way. O, that sinners may be
converted unto him."
To Mr. and Mrs. B----, at Ballston Springs.
"NEW YORK, August, 1807.
"MY BELOVED CHILDREN--A husband, wife, and child, make a family,
and God ought to be acknowledged by them as such. I am anxious that
you should meet in your room for that purpose some time every morning.
"If it cannot be accomplished at an early hour, redeem that time
in a later, and also before going to rest in the evening. The Lord has
honored your family worship with genuine fruits, follow it up in all
places. Like Abraham of old, wherever you pitch your tent, for a
longer or shorter period, there raise an altar to the Lord, to that
God who has fed you all your life, carried you as on eagle's wings,
and will carry you to old age and gray hairs."
To Mrs. Juliet S----, New York, one of her former pupils.
"BELLEVILLE, September 16, 1808.
"MY DEAR JULIET--Since the hour I received your letter, you have
been little out of my mind. You call upon me as mother, friend,
counsellor. Shall conscious unworthiness, or weakness, or ignorance,
prevent my answering? No; for God often chooses weak instruments to
bring to pass great ends, I have been once and again to a throne of
grace, for wisdom to direct me, and grace to be faithful. If your
desire after spiritual knowledge be sincere, and from the Spirit of
God operating on your heart, you will bear searching.
"You are a communicant, my Juliet; this presupposes that a very
great and important change has taken place in your mind--that you have
been made deeply sensible of what the word of God testifies of every
son and daughter of Adam's race. 'As it is written, There is none
righteous, no, not one.' Rom. 3:10. Man is born as the wild ass's
colt, going astray from the womb. Job. The heart is deceitful above
all things, and desperately wicked; I the Lord search it. Having the
understanding darkened, alienated from the life of God, through the
ignorance that is in us, because of the blindness of our hearts. Dead
in trespasses and sins. Eph. 4:18; 2:1.
"Your profession presupposes that this chapter may be addressed
to you, Juliet, by name: 'You hath he quickened, who were dead in
trespasses and sins; wherein in time past ye walked according to the
course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air,
the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience: among
whom also we all had our conversation in times past, in the lusts of
our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and
were by nature the children of wrath, even as others. But God, who is
rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, even when we
were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ; by grace
are ye saved, through faith, not of works, lest any man should boast.'
Works there are, my Juliet, most assuredly; every quickened soul will
live, and bring forth fruits of righteousness; but these works are not
attainable but in God's way and order. It follows, 'For we are his
workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath
before ordained that we should walk in them.'
"My Juliet says, 'To you then I look up to teach me.' Let me then
bring you to the great Teacher and Prophet of the church, without
whose teaching all human instruction will be ineffectual. We read of
two amiable characters coming to Christ professedly for instruction.
The first you will find in Matthew 19:16. The young man asks him,
'What good thing shall I do, that I may inherit eternal life?' Jesus
answers him by referring him to the moral law: the young man, not made
acquainted by the Spirit of God, either with the extent or
spirituality of that law, or of the depravity of his own nature,
answers, as many in like circumstances still do,' All these things
have I kept from my youth up.' I do not suppose any one could
contradict him. It is added that Jesus loved him, and he was a person
of attractive character; but Jesus knew that the true principle was
not there--supreme love to God, 'with all the heart, with all the
soul, with all the strength, and with all the mind:' therefore he gave
him a test which proved that the world was uppermost in his heart. He
went away sorrowful, and we hear no more of him.
"Of the other person we read in that remarkable chapter, the
third of John's gospel--Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews, and also a
teacher. Well knew he the law, as to the letter of it, both moral and
ceremonial; he must also have been acquainted with all the Old
Testament scripture types and prophecies, it being his office to
expound; and no doubt, among others, was looking for the promised
Messiah. Jesus does not send him to either the law or the prophets.
This ruler comes with a conviction and an acknowledgment that Jesus
himself was a teacher immediately from God; and Jesus immediately
takes upon himself his great office, and begins with urging that which
is a sinner's first business--'to know himself,' what he is by nature,
and the necessity of the new birth. Nicodemus, with all his learning,
was a stranger to this doctrine: 'How can a man be born when he is
old?' Jesus repeats his doctrine, 'He must be born of water and the
Spirit;' baptized with water and the Holy Ghost. 'That which is born
of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.
Marvel not that I said unto you, Ye must be born again.' Humble that
proud reason that will believe nothing but what it can understand.
'The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound
thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh or whither it goeth; so
is every one that is born of the Spirit.' A mystery it is;
nevertheless it is true.
"Follow out the chapter, my dear: Jesus preaches his own gospel,
and brings in that beautiful type, the serpent, which he had commanded
to be raised on a pole, that those who had been bitten with fiery
serpents, whose bite was death, should look upon it and be healed.
Read it, my dear, in the 21st of Numbers; and in reference to this, he
himself says, 'Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the
earth.' Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.
Quickened, renewed in the spirit, of his mind, old things pass away
and all things become new--new principles, new desires, new pleasures,
new ends. The work is God's. The whole plan of redemption is his from
first to last. It is clearly revealed in Scripture, and there is no
dispute among Christians concerning it. The fall of man, his
corruption and depravity; his state under the curse of a broken
covenant, and his exposure to eternal misery; his helplessness and
total inability to gain acceptance with God; his ignorance of
himself--'dead in trespasses and sins,' 'without God and without hope
in the world:' this is his situation by nature. But there is good news
proclaimed: 'God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten
Son,' to become the surety of lost sinners. He took our nature upon
him, our sins upon him, our duties upon him: he was placed in our
stead; sustained the penalty of the broken law; fulfilled its utmost
demands; redeemed us; gave us a new covenant, of which himself
is the surety: and there is 'no condemnation to them that are in
Christ Jesus.'
"The merits of Christ, exclusive of any thing of ours, are the
sole foundation of our hope. Christ is set forth, in Scripture, as the
atonement, the propitiation for sins, the one sacrifice for sin;
Christ is the end of the law for righteousness; all is made ours by
free gift. 1 John, 5:11. All is ready, justice satisfied, God
reconciled, peace proclaimed. But what is all this to a thoughtless
world, insensible of their situation, danger, and need? It is an awful
saying, but it is of the Holy Ghost, If our gospel be hid, it is hid
to them that are lost, in whom the god of this world hath blinded
their minds, and darkened their understandings, and hardened their
hearts, etc. Therefore the application of this grace is also of God;
it is all within his plan; he has appointed means, and commanded our
diligence in the use of them. We have his Bible in our hands, his
ministers in our churches, who are also pastors and teachers if we
apply for their aid in private; we have a throne of grace to go to,
and many great and precious promises held up in God's word for us to
embrace and plead for Christ's sake: we have many prayers in the
Scriptures which we may adopt.
"I acknowledge we are all still dependent for the effect; that
must be from God himself. But he does honor his own ordinances. He
puts forth his power, and convinces of sin; this is his first work.
The soul is awakened, aroused, convinced of sin and misery; sins of
the heart, sins of the tongue, sins of the life, press upon the
conscience which never disturbed us before; misspent time, wasted
talents, lost opportunities, neglect of God's word and ordinances, so
that the soul cannot rest. O, my Juliet, this is a hopeful case. I
hope you have experienced something of this. It is one of the surest
marks of the operation of the Spirit of God, and a prelude to the new
birth. It never takes place without it, for the whole need not a
physician, but they that are sick. Only the weary and heavy laden will
prize rest, and Christ is the rest they need; only a convinced sinner
will or can prize the Saviour, and now the Lord opens his mind to
understand the Scriptures. He sees the provision which God has made
for ruined sinners, by providing a substitute to stand in his room; he
perceives how God can be just and justify the sinner who takes shelter
in Jesus; he falls in with God's gracious plan: receives the Lord
Jesus as God's gift to sinners; trusts entirely in his merits for
pardon, peace, reconciliation, and eternal life; resigns his soul into
the hands of his Saviour, in the faith that he will save it, and
devotes himself unreservedly to his service, in the faith that he will
give him grace to live to him in all holy obedience. Now, and not till
now, according to God's promise, he receives power to become his
child; this is God's order, John 1:12. Now he receives life and begins
to live; but there is yet a great work before him. It hath pleased God
in his plan to finish at once a justifying righteousness; it is his
own work, and was finished in that awful hour when he announced it in
his last words on the cross. John 19:30. To this nothing of ours is to
be added, with this nothing of ours mixed; it is for ever perfect, it
is God's gift made ours in the hour when we first believe, receive it,
rest our souls upon it.
"But it hath not pleased God in this plan to deliver the believer
at once from indwelling sin. This is the subject of the Christian
warfare, the race, the good fight. Now the believer receives life, and
is called to work. 'Work out your own salvation with fear and
trembling, for it is God that worketh in you both to will and to do.'
All the promises in this blessed Bible are his, they are yea and amen
in Christ; Christ himself is his; his Spirit dwells in him. The
believer is united to Jesus by as real a union as the branch to the
vine, the members to the head, the building with the foundation. Yet
sin dwelleth in him, and is to be expunged by constant applications to
Christ in prayer; by means of watching, striving, fighting--fighting
under his banner. In his blessed word we are informed where our
strength lies, what our weapons, what our armor. But what can I say on
those subjects? the whole word of God is on the subject of redemption;
to this refer the whole labors of Christ's ministers, and the whole
dispensation of God's providence.
"Are these things so? My Juliet, this is not the doctrine of any
one church. About these subjects there is no dispute. Presbyterians,
Episcopalians, Baptists, Independents, all agree in these great
things. And are these things so indeed? O, my Juliet, where is the
time to be spared for plays, assemblies, and such numerous idle
parties of various descriptions? I must stop; the subject is great,
and we have many excellent treatises on the various parts of it, by
able, pious men. It would be improper to crowd it thus into a letter,
unless to instigate to further investigation.
"Farewell; I ever am, my dear Juliet,
"Yours affectionately,
"I. GRAHAM."
The delicate state of health to which one of her granddaughters
was reduced in 1808, made it necessary for her to spend the summer
season for five successive years at Rockaway, Long Island, for the
advantage of sea-bathing. Mrs. Graham went with her, it being
beneficial to her own health also. In this place she met with many
strangers; the company residing there treated her with much affection
and respect. She always attended to the worship of God morning and
evening in her room, and was usually accompanied by some of the ladies
who boarded in the house. Her fund of information, vivacity of manner,
and the interest which she felt in the happiness of all around her,
made her society highly valued and pleasing. Few of those ladies who
stayed with her at Rockaway for any length of time, failed to express,
at parting, their esteem for her, and they generally added a pressing
invitation for a visit from her, if ever she should travel near where
they dwelt.
The following is one of her sweet meditations while at Rockaway:
"ROCKAWAY, August, 1809.
"Sweet health again returns, which, considering the agitation of
my mind, surprises me; but it is the Lord's pleasure. I did not wish
to recover. I was in hopes the Lord was about to deliver me from 'this
body of sin and death.' Lord, reconcile me to thy most holy will.
Health is certainly a great blessing. I feel its sweetness. O make me
thankful. Great and numerous are my mercies. Every thing pleasant and
every thing necessary to life, to godliness, is mine: food and raiment
to the utmost desires of nature; the beauties of thy fair creation
surround my ordinary dwelling; my dear little room, my Bible, and
books of every virtuous kind--by grace, thy chief mercy, I desire no
other--and by the kindness of my children, I possess all as if they
were my own personal property. By thy wonderful loving-kindness, thou
hast given me, instead of the contempt which I have merited, the love
and esteem of thy people, and thou hast made the very stones of
the field to be at peace with me, so that wherever I go I meet
with kindness."
To Mrs. Marshall.
"NEW YORK, October, 1809.
"I find your letter dated 'Elderslie'--the very name gives a
thrill to my old heart; in a moment the various scenes of my youthful
days rise before me--the old mansion itself, and all its beloved
inmates, every one of whom have now crossed the Jordan of death,
leaving me a solitary wanderer in this weary wilderness. Ah, I can at
this moment think of spots, by the burnside and the braeside, endeared
to my heart by a thousand tender associations. There have I wandered
with my beloved, idolized husband, and there has he delighted my heart
with professions of love. These were indeed moments of ecstasy; but
hush, there are you a widow with very, very different sensations, and
here am I a widow with sensations equally different. The Lord has
showed us many and sore adversities, but he will bring us up from the
deeps below; we are much nearer our Father's house, and I hope
proportionably riper for those joys which are at his right hand; and
although your letter has brought some pleasing recollections to my
mind--days of love and courtship, days, some of solitude, some of
disappointment, some of ecstasy--yet I find they were all days of
idolatry, therefore to be mourned over, not retasted, reënjoyed with
delight. No, no; Father, forgive me."
CHAPTER X.
NEW YORK BIBLE SOCIETY--ASSOCIATIONS FOR
PRAYER--HAPPY OLD AGE--LETTERS.
"In December, 1809, a Bible Society was organized in New York,
and about the same time twenty respectable persons united in a
society, to wait on the Lord, to know what their hands could find to
do to promote his glory, to advance his kingdom, to spread the savor
of the Redeemer's name, or in any way to benefit the souls of their
fellow-sinners.
"On Monday a meeting for prayer was instituted in Hetty-street,
and another in Mulberry-street, with which the Presbyterian ministers
have agreed to meet in rotation. It is the Lord. We have heard of
revivals all around, but feared lest the aggravated sins of New York
might provoke the Lord to pass by, leaving our fleece dry, while the
dew wet all around. Great have been our privileges; the gospel trumpet
has sounded in every corner of our city. The Lord's servants have set
before us life and death, assuring us, from God's word, that 'though
hand join in hand, the wicked shall not go unpunished;' beseeching us
to flee from the wrath to come, and lay hold on the hope set before
us. God in his providence has visited us with mercies and with
judgments: stricken us, and healed us; scattered us, and gathered us:
but alas, alas, we were 'eating and drinking, marrying and giving in
marriage.' Many, very many, wasting their time, health, and substance,
in all manner of immorality, and our rulers caring for none of these
things; yea, many of them practising the same things; and Oh, God's
own saved people sitting still, restraining testimony before men and
prayer before God. What were we to expect but that God should say, Why
should they be stricken any more? they will revolt more and more: they
are joined to idols; let them alone. Such, O Lord, would be the case
didst thou not deliver us out of our own self-destroying snares. If
thou turn us not, we shall never turn; it is in our nature to
backslide for ever.
"But is not the time come to pass when before thy people call
thou answerest, and while they are yet speaking, thou hearest? Art
thou not calling with power, 'Return, ye backsliding children, and I
will heal your backslidings?' and hast thou not prepared their hearts
to answer, Behold, we come unto thee, for thou art the Lord our God?
truly, in vain is salvation looked for from the hills, and from the
multitude of mountains; truly, from the Lord our God is the salvation
of Israel. Hast thou not, O God, prepared the hearts of thy people to
pray, and thine ear to hear? Is not this Bible Society, and are not
these associations for prayer, tokens from thee for good? More and
more, Lord, may thy people give thee no rest, until thou make Zion a
praise in the earth. O the Hope of Israel, and the Saviour thereof, be
not as a wayfaring man, that turneth aside for a night. May thy people
constrain thee to abide with us for ever, to form us a people for
thyself, to show forth thy praise.
"I have just conveyed dear Mrs. A----le to the confines of the
eternal world. I trust the dear Redeemer received her spirit. I have a
good hope that she is now in possession of the mansion purchased and
prepared for her by that dear Saviour whose name she professed, and I
think, in an humble, steady, quiet way, faithfully followed. She loved
the word of God, the house of God, the people of God. She spoke
little, but said she had a good hope: asked me to read the Bible
different times, and also to pray; said the invitations of the gospel
were sweet to her: observed that the Lord had been very merciful to
her in her affliction.
"A few hours before her death she desired me to read that hymn,
"'To him that loved the souls of men,' etc,
Also,
"'Come, let us join our cheerful songs,' etc.
She asked if I thought she would continue long. I said, No, my
dear, you will very soon be with Jesus; and encouraged her as the Lord
enabled me. She repeated the question some time after, and I gave her
the same answer. She then said, 'This night?' I answered, Yes, my
love, this night. She bowed her head with a sweet smile, laid it in a
reclining posture, and set herself to wait with patience the Lord's
time. She was very much oppressed, and breathed with much difficulty.
Some time after she asked me to pray, which I did, and begged that the
Lord would increase her faith and patience, and, if according to his
will, give her a gentle passage and an abundant entrance. In a short
time her breathing became short and low; she shut her eyes and gently
breathed weaker and weaker, till her God delivered her without motion
or groan. I was on my knees praying. I then thanked God for his
goodness in this sweet dismission; prayed for the husband, the
children, the two young men present, and us all, gave glory to God,
and rose to watch to future duty.
"O my God, is not my own death at hand? It is a hard battle. My
Jesus, thou knowest the struggle. I too must drink of this cup; mix it
for me, my Redeemer. O let a full sense of free pardon, the
recollection of the great and precious promises, a bright view of the
joys at God's right hand, as the fruit of thy death, be applied to my
soul in that awful hour. Holy Spirit, pour in the oil and wine of thy
consolations in that trying hour. O let me not be straitened. Open
wide to my soul the leaves of that well-ordered covenant, of which
Christ himself is the sum and substance. Redeeming God, may I
experience proof in that solemn hour, that 'thy flesh is meat indeed,
and thy blood is drink indeed.' O feed me with this living food; may I
feel life spring up in my soul, and be assured that I shall 'never
die.' O my God, grant one more request. Open my lips, and let them, as
well as my heart, be filled with the high praises of my redeeming God.
"I know I am unworthy; the vilest of the vile; but magnify thy
grace. I have much forgiven; O let my heart burn with love and
gratitude in that hour, and my lips utter its effusions in songs of
praise. Amen.
"When the short thick breathing comes, and the slow fetches,
sealing up speech and expelling the spirit from its abode, O let me
hear or understand thee saying unto me, 'It is I, be not afraid.'"
"JANUARY, 1810.
"'Come and let us return unto the Lord, for he hath torn, and he
will heal us; he hath smitten, and he will bind us up. After two days
will he revive us, in the third day he will raise us up, and we shall
live in his sight.'
"O Lord, turn us and we shall be turned, draw us and we will run
after thee. Revive us, and we shall live in thy sight. Thou must ever
be first. It is in our nature to backslide for ever: and whenever we
see a backslider restored, or a rebel lay down the weapons of
rebellion, _there_ we may trace thy footsteps, O God of grace.
"No external providence will touch our hard, our deceitful
hearts. All that goes under the name of misfortune will but drive us
_from_ thee, never _to_ thee, till thou teach us to profit,
and lead us by the way that we should go. Thou callest, 'Return, ye
backsliding children, and I will heal your backslidings;' but we have
been foolish, sottish children, without understanding, wise to do
evil, but to do good having no knowledge.
"Let the days come when the children of America--the earth is the
Lord's--shall 'come with weeping, and seek the Lord their God;' when
'they shall ask the way to Zion, with their faces thitherward;' when
they shall come, saying, 'Let us join ourselves to the Lord in a
perpetual covenant, never to be forgotten.' O the Hope of Israel and
Saviour thereof, is not that day and that time come? Hast thou not
been working on the right hand and on the left? Thou hast given us
pastors according to thine own heart, who feed us with knowledge and
understanding: and thou art here and there proving thy gospel thy
power and thy wisdom, to the salvation of sinners; casting down the
imaginations of pride, and bringing all into subjection to thy Son
Jesus.
"O pour out the spirit of grace and supplication, upon thy living
members, that they may wrestle with thee, and not let thee go until
thou bless us, until thou make this 'cloud like a man's hand' cover
our heavens with blackness, and issue in a plentiful rain. O pour
water upon him that is thirsty, and floods on the dry ground; thy
Spirit upon our seed, and thy blessing upon our offspring. O Lord,
hast thou not said that thou wilt do it, and that they shall spring up
as among the grass, and as willows by the water-courses. One shall
say, I am the Lord's, another shall call himself by the name of Jacob,
and another shall subscribe with his hand unto the Lord, and surname
himself by the name of Israel. Amen, O our God, Amen.
"Last week the Lord's young servant, Mr. R----, received to the
communion of the church seven adults, Mrs. B---- and her two
daughters, Dr. H---- and sister, Mr. C----, and a black woman, servant
to Mr. H----. It was a glorious sight, and revived the hearts of God's
people who witnessed it. O God of grace, grant that the fruits of
righteousness may prove that they are broken off from the wild
olive-tree, and grafted into thee, thou living and life-giving
olive-tree; from thee must their fruit be found. O cause them to bring
forth much fruit. Herein is the Father glorified, that they bear much
fruit; so shall they be Christ's disciples, and attain to the
assurance of that happy state. Father, glorify thy name. Amen."
In the year 1810, while bathing at Rockaway, she was carried by
the surf beyond her depth, and for some time there was scarcely a hope
of her regaining the shore. Her grandchildren were weeping on the
beach, and the company assembled there were afflicted but hopeless
spectators of her danger. At that moment of peril she prayed to the
Lord for deliverance, but acquiesced in his will, if he should see fit
to take her to himself in this manner. Able to swim a little, she kept
herself afloat for some time: she became at length very faint; and
when her friends on the beach apprehended her lost, they perceived
that the waves had impelled her somewhat nearer to them. A gentleman
present, and her female attendant, stepped into the surf and extending
their arms for mutual support, one of them was enabled to lay hold on
Mrs. Graham's bathing-gown and to pull her towards them. When they
brought her ashore she was much exhausted, and had swallowed a
considerable quantity of water. It was some hours before she revived,
when she addressed the company in a very serious and impressive manner
that affected them to tears. Her health during the following winter
was much impaired by the shock it had received.
"ROCKAWAY, June 15, 1810.
"Came here the first of the month, with the children in the
whooping-cough. No 'church-going bell' here, but the Lord is
everywhere; and I have found him here, warming my heart with gratitude
and contrition, and drawing it out in prayer for his people met to
worship in his sanctuary.
"When at a distance from my own people, it has been my practice
to join with whatever class of professing Christians might be near me.
Here it has been with the Methodists, who, I believe, enjoy communion
with God. Yesterday I went to a meeting of ----, who lay great stress
on good morals; but, O my God, what could I do, shut up with them?
Without the finished work of my Saviour, I could have no hope; without
his law-fulfilling righteousness, I must stand a law-condemned sinner.
"The preacher yesterday took no text; in the course of his sermon
he said the Scriptures were only secondary guides. He began with the
importance of thinking of death, and said it could not be possible for
a rational being to live carelessly, with thoughts of death and
eternity in view. Is it so? No; we see sinners die, under the full
conviction that they are dying, as thoughtless as they have lived.
"He said, that by constantly attending to the motions of the
Spirit and complying with them, Christians arrived at a state of
perfection even here; and brought in that text, 'He that is born of
God cannot sin,' etc. Spoke highly of watchfulness, and avoiding
connection with the world; said a real Christian could not hold any
office of power among men. Paul held one, but he gave it up when he
became an apostle. Christ's kingdom was not of this world. Laws and
officers were necessary among the men of the world, but not among
Christians. Spoke of the cross of Christ as consisting in suffering
and self-denial. His blood was the Spirit which cleansed from all sin,
by delivering all who obeyed him from its power. He named not my
blessed Saviour, except when he had occasion to mention some of his
moral sayings. He said, indeed, that he was the Light that lightened
every man that came into the world, and the condemnation was that men
would not receive it; but one word of his blessed priesthood he spoke
not, but said we were in a state of probation, and every one would be
judged according to his works, taking into view the advantages he had
enjoyed; recommended the reading of the Scriptures, especially the
inspired books, the New Testament and the prophets; for it needed no
inspiration to write the national history of the Jews more than that
of any other nation. Said the Scriptures were good secondary guides,
and contained excellent lessons and truths.
"When I was coming away he offered me his hand, saying that I was
not a resident there. I answered no, I was separated from my own
people, but wished to unite with any class of Christians who met
professedly to worship God; but confessed I could not live upon what
he had this day delivered. He asked what was wrong. I answered, he had
given some good exhortations; I agreed with him in many things
respecting conduct; but I missed the foundation. He repeated the
scriptures, 'Other foundation can no man lay,' etc. I said, Exactly:
off this foundation there is no salvation; on this foundation there
may be loss, but no condemnation. We have a great and merciful
High-priest, who can have compassion on the ignorant, and them who are
out of the way; and there may be straw, hay, stubble, which will be
burnt up, but the soul itself, being on the foundation, is safe. He
said with firmness, That will be burnt up in this world; without
holiness no man shall see the Lord. I said, True; but why avoid the
tenor of Scripture? read all the epistles; the Lord Jesus Christ, the
gift of God, the propitiatory sacrifice, the meritorious
law-fulfilling righteousness, is set forth, in every one of them, as
that which saves from wrath and entitles to eternal life. He said they
were all emblems of our being made holy in heart and life; Christians
were baptized unto the death of Christ, and rise with him to newness
of life, buried with him, etc. I granted that as one reading of these
words. He said every other view was shadow. I said, No--the blood of
bulls and goats is shadow; Christ himself, his person, his offices,
his life, his sufferings, his death, his burial, resurrection,
ascension, and intercession within the veil, are all substance--the
sole foundation of my hope, and my only plea at a throne of grace.
"Dear Name, the rock on which I build,
My shield and hiding-place,
My never-failing treasury, filled
With boundless stores of grace.
Jesus, my Husband, Shepherd, Friend,
My Prophet, Priest, and King,
My Lord, my life, my way, my end,
Accept the praise I bring."
"ROCKAWAY, August, 1810.
"Hebrews is my ordinary, when no other passage of Scripture
attracts my particular attention. This is the third morning I have
opened the New Testament on the 14th chapter of John, and have fed
delightfully on the first three verses. There is at all times a thorn
in my heart, keeping me in continual remembrance of my vile,
ungrateful backslidings, so that I eat my sweetest morsels with bitter
herbs. It was particularly painful to me this morning; nevertheless;
the Lord God, merciful and gracious, repeated on my heart, 'Let not
your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.' I was arrested at
the fourth verse, 'Whither I go ye know, and the way ye know.' I have
had many comfortable exercises on the eighth verse, the Redeemer's
answer to Philip's inquiry. But this morning my mind was led to a
different view of that saying, and which I think was literally
included. The Redeemer was going to his Father, and his way lay
through death, the death of the cross. The hour was at hand when he
was to make his holy and righteous soul an offering for sin, that he
might become the author of salvation to all who obey him. All the sins
confessed and pardoned by the sacrifices under the law were laid on
this blessed Surety--they were only the shadows, he was the
substance--the real Lamb of God which taketh away the sin of the
world, was now to be offered up. This was he who said, 'Sacrifice and
offering thou wouldest not, but a body hast thou prepared me; in
burnt-offerings and offerings for sin thou hast had no pleasure; then
said I, Lo, I come to do thy will, O God:' by which will we are
sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once
for all.
"He was going to the garden--Oh that garden! Peter had said he
was able to drink of that cup and to be baptized with that baptism. Ah
no, Peter; that exceeding sorrow in the garden, when no visible hand
was upon him, was a cup the least drop of which would have overwhelmed
the strongest angel. No strength short of omnipotent could have
sustained that hour and power of darkness. It was not the scourge, the
thorns, the nails, nor the last pangs of dissolution; through all
these he was as a lamb led to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her
shearers, dumb. It was a mysterious horror, of which no created being
can have any conception. It was this that wrung the great drops of
blood through every pore of his sacred body--this that extorted the
agonizing prayer, 'Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from
me;' and again, in his last moments on the cross, 'My God, my God, why
hast thou forsaken me?' Blessed, for ever blessed be our Jehovah
Jesus, who said, 'Not my will, but thine be done.' The will of God was
done, and he said, 'It is finished,' and gave up the ghost.
"All his people must follow him by the way of death; nearly all
his disciples followed by the death of the cross, and many others
after them, supported by his almighty grace, rejoiced that they were
counted worthy to suffer for his sake; but they drank not of that cup.
"Some of his people, for holy and wise purposes, have had a taste
in the hiding of God's face, but no curse; that he himself drank to
the last drop: He trod the wine-press alone, and of the people there
was none with him. By his own death he destroyed him that had the
power of death, and secured victory to all his followers: he changed
its aspect from that of the king of terrors to that of a welcome
messenger from their redeeming God, to conduct them to those blessed
mansions which he has purchased and prepared for them; neither will he
leave them alone with that messenger: 'And if I go, I will come again
and receive you to myself, that where I am, there ye may be also. I
will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you. The world seeth me
no more, but ye see me; because I live, ye shall live also. Let not
your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.' Amen. 'Come, Lord
Jesus.'
"'Sacrifice and offering thou didst not desire; mine ears hast
thou opened: burnt-offering and sin-offering hast thou not required.
Then said I, Lo, I come: in the volume of the book it is written of
me, I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law is in my heart.'
Psalm 40:6. 'Above when he said, Sacrifice and offering and
burnt-offerings and offering for sin thou wouldst not, neither hadst
pleasure therein--which are offered by the law--then said he, Lo, I
come to do thy will, O God. He taketh away the first, that he may
establish the second. By the which will we are sanctified, through the
offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all. This man, after he
had offered one sacrifice for sins for ever, sat down on the right
hand of God. For by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that
are sanctified. Whereof the Holy Ghost also is a witness to us: for
after that he had said before, 'This is the covenant that I will make
with them after those days,' in consequence of Christ's doing the will
of God, fulfilling all righteousness: 'I will put my laws into their
hearts, and in their minds will I write them; and their sins and
iniquities will I remember no more. Now, where remission of these is,
there is no more offering for sin. Having, therefore, boldness to
enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way,
which he hath consecrated for us, through the veil, that is to say,
his flesh; and having a High-priest over the house of God; let us draw
near with a true heart, in full assurance of faith, having our hearts
sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure
water. Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering;
for he is faithful that promised.' Hebrews 10:8-23; 8:10. Again, 'The
Lord sware, and will not repent; thou art a priest for ever after the
order of Melchizedek. By so much was Jesus made a surety of a better
testament; because he continueth ever, and hath an unchangeable
priesthood. Wherefore he is able to save them to the uttermost that
come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for
them,' Heb. 7:21-25. 'Christ glorified not himself to be made a
high-priest, but He that said unto him, Thou art my Son, to-day have I
begotten thee; as he saith also in another place, Thou art a priest
for ever after the order of Melchizedek.' Heb. 5:5, 6. 'For the law
maketh men high-priests which have infirmity; but the word of the
oath, which was since the law, maketh the Son, who is consecrated for
evermore.' Heb. 7:28. 'The word which God sent unto the children of
Israel, preaching peace by Jesus Christ: He is Lord of all. How God
anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power; who
went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the
devil; for God was with him. To him give all the prophets witness,
that through his name whosoever believeth in him shall receive
remission of sins.'" Acts 10:36-38, 43.
How well she was qualified to give instruction to young
disciples, will appear in the following letters to two, who died
shortly after of consumption.
To Miss Van Wyck, New York.
"ROCKAWAY, 1810.
"MY DEAR, MY BELOVED ELIZA--Mr. and Mrs. B---- are here on a
visit for one night. I did not expect to see them so soon, or I would
have had a letter ready. I expect another opportunity in the course of
a few days, when I will send you a long letter, from my heart, and, I
hope, dictated by your and my Teacher.
"I learn by my children that you continue much in the same way in
which I left you. It is your own God who mixes your cup, and it is to
you a cup of blessing; there is no curse in it. Your Jesus drank that
cup to the very dregs, that bitter as well as sweet might be to you a
cup of blessing. O then, my darling, hold fast by your Redeemer: he is
the Lord your righteousness, and the Lord your strength; he connects
your profit with his own glory. You shall in this protracted
affliction manifest it, and hold out the word of life to those around
you.* You shall witness for him that he is the Lord, and besides him
there is no Saviour--that he gathers the lambs in his arms, and
carries them in his bosom--that he is to them a hiding-place from the
wind, and a covert from the tempest--as rivers of water in a dry
place, and as the shadow of a great rock in a weary land. That it is
he that teacheth them to profit, and leadeth them by the way that they
should go, and that in due time he will perfect all that concerns
them. Farewell.
*This prediction was remarkably fulfilled in the experience of
this dear young saint; an interesting account of whose illness
and death was published in the Christian's Magazine, and
afterwards as a Tract.
"Yours with affection,
"I. GRAHAM."
To the same.
"ROCKAWAY, Sabbath, 1810.
"MY DEAR, MY BELOVED ELIZA--I wrote you a few lines yesterday by
Mr. B----. I now propose to fulfil my promise. I expect an opportunity
to-morrow or next day, for I saw a great many carriages pass this way
to the tavern, as I suppose, from New York. It is a common thing with
some to come here on Saturday and return on Monday, to spend this
blessed day in pastime. You would not, I know, exchange situation's
with them; you would rather be suffering than sinning.
"It is your own observation that God does all in wisdom; in this
wisdom he is pleased to lengthen your day of affliction. Sin, my
darling, is the cause of all suffering; but is not always the
_immediate_ cause. Besides particular chastisement for particular
sins, there are afflictions to be filled up in the body of Christ--his
church--a measure of which, in kind and degree, is appointed by
unerring wisdom to each individual member. Col. 1:24. These sufferings
bear no part in atoning for sin, nor in redeeming our forfeited
inheritance. Christ trod the wine-press alone, and of the people there
was none to help him. He was made sin for us, who knew no sin, that we
might be made the righteousness of God in him; who when he had by
himself purged our sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on
high. Heb. 1:3. Again, 'And every priest,' in the Levitical law,
'standeth daily ministering and offering oftentimes the same
sacrifices, which can never take away sins: but this man, after he had
offered _one sacrifice_ for sins for ever, sat down on the right
hand of God. For by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that
are sanctified. Whereof the Holy Ghost is also a witness to us; for
after he had said before'--see from verse 5--'This is the covenant
which I will make with them after those days, saith the Lord; I will
put my laws into their hearts, and in their minds will I write them;
and their sins and iniquities will I remember no more. Now, where
remission of these is, there is no more offering for sin.' Heb.
10:11-18. Paul says the Holy Ghost is a witness, because he copies
from the ancient Scriptures the prophecies of Jer. 31:31, and Ezek.
36:25, and from Psalm 60:7. Your mother will read to you also the
eighth chapter of Hebrews, containing the same things, the new
covenant, in consequence of Christ, as the surety of sinners, having
made full atonement, magnified the law, and made it honorable;
therefore there is now no condemnation to them who are in
Christ Jesus.
"It has pleased God, my darling, in the adorable plan of
reconciling sinners to himself by Jesus Christ, to perfect at once a
justifying righteousness for them, and to bestow it upon them as a
free gift. 'This is the record, that God hath given to us eternal
life; and this life is in his Son.' 1 John, 5:11. But it has not
pleased him to deliver us at once from depravity; provision is made
for final deliverance by the same covenant, and is effected by the
same power: but in this believers are called to work. It is evident
from Scripture, and the experience of Christians answers to it, that
in the hour of believing they pass from death to life, considered as a
state. This is the hour of the new birth: they then receive life for
the time, and it is their privilege, by the constitution of the new
covenant, to ask and receive, from day to day, grace to help in every
time of need. To them, and not to the unregenerate, the exhortation is
addressed, 'Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for
it is God who worketh in you, both to will and to do, of his good
pleasure,' The means are of God's appointing, in the diligent use of
which they go from strength to strength. The grand means is faith in
God's promises, of which there are very many in the Scriptures.
Believers are to put forth their own exertions, as the children of
Israel were called to go out against their enemies, in the faith that
God would give them victory and lead them to their promised rest. The
battle was the Lord's, and he fought for them; but the means were
their exertions. Believers are God's workmanship; but this work he
carries on by exercising their natural powers, which he sanctifies to
a different end from that to which they were formerly by their own
spirit directed. Still, the Scripture testifies that if any man say he
has no sin, he deceives himself, and the truth is not in him; and
while sin remains, its consequence, suffering, must. The judgments of
God, as the moral Governor of the world, are denounced against, and
executed upon the workers of iniquity. The children of God experience
personal chastisements for personal sins, as a provision of the
covenant. Psalm 89:30. And, if I mistake not, there are afflictions
experienced by individuals, as members of Christ's body, in which God
does not bring into view the personal sins of the sufferer. In this
sense I read Paul's epistle to the Colossians, 1:24: 'Who now rejoice
in my sufferings, and fill up that which is behind of the sufferings
of Christ in my flesh, for his body's sake, which is the church.' 'I
sent Timotheus to establish you, and to comfort you concerning your
faith, that no man should be moved by these afflictions; for
yourselves know that we are appointed thereunto.' 1 Thes. 3:3. 'Yea,
if I be offered upon the sacrifice and service of your faith, I joy
and rejoice with you all; for the same cause do ye joy and rejoice
with me.' Phil. 2:17. 'And whether we be afflicted, it is for your
consolation and salvation; or whether we be comforted, it is for your
salvation and consolation.' 2 Cor. 1:6. There is no conscious personal
sin expressed in these sufferings; on the contrary, Paul says, 'For
our rejoicing is this, the testimony of our conscience, that in
simplicity and godly sincerity, not with fleshly wisdom, but by the
grace of God, we have had our conversation in the world, and more
abundantly to you-ward.' 2 Cor. 1:12.
"Most of the prophets and apostles suffered martyrdom. They
indeed sustained public characters, but the beggar Lazarus, who, in
addition to poverty, was full of sores, was carried by the angels from
the rich man's gate to Abraham's bosom. And thousands and tens of
thousands of redeemed highly sanctified ones have suffered lengthened
martyrdom, and perished with hunger, in holes and caves of the earth,
unknown in history, except in groups--unseen at the time, except by
the eye of the omniscient Jehovah, by whom the hairs of their head are
numbered; their tears are in his bottle; nor shall one sigh nor one
groan perish without its result.
"O my Eliza, what delightful wonders shall open to our view when
delivered from these prison-holds of earth.
"I have finished one sheet, my dear Eliza; I fear it is too much,
and may prove too fatiguing, especially as there are many references
requiring a stretch of attention. I have been reading the epistle to
the Hebrews, and you have naturally got my thoughts on part of it.
"I remember once of your complaining that you had made small
progress in knowledge, in comparison of a young person that had just
left you; but you checked yourself, and said, 'The Lord has given me
faith, let me be thankful.' I at that time considered your departure
as very near, and advised you to keep your eye fixed on Christ, as
your Redeemer and Saviour, who had performed all things for you, and
would perfect all that concerned you; and added, one hour in heaven
will make you wiser than the most enlightened saint on earth. Since
that it has pleased your Lord to add many days to your life. He has
mitigated your pain, and given you some intervals of ease and
composure, and our dear Eliza has grown in that time. Should it please
God to spare you for a yet longer season, and continue your intervals
of ease, no subject can be so profitable; and I hope your Lord will
make it pleasant as that of the contents of the New Testament, which
your Saviour bequeathed to you, sealed and ratified in his blood.
There is a vast variety of precious promises contained in the
Scriptures of the Old and New Testament, which are all yours with
Christ; for, as a member of his body, 'you are built upon the
foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being
the chief corner-stone.' And now I commend you to your own covenant
God, who does and will support you, through life and through death, to
that happy land where we shall all meet; and Oh then, eye hath not
seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man the
things he hath prepared for them that love him.
"I am, with much love and affection, yours,
"I. GRAHAM."
To Mr. James Todd, New York.
"ROCKAWAY, Long Island.
"MY DEAR JAMES--This will probably be handed you by our mutual
friend Mrs. C----. The thought of her being with you, makes me part
with her with less reluctance. You have not been forgotten by either;
we have talked much of you, and have united in prayer to your and our
God, that he may manifest himself unto you as your reconciled Father
in Christ Jesus; and give you 'joy and peace in believing'--that he
may give you patience in suffering, and entire resignation to his most
holy will.
"It has, my dear young friend, been my earnest inquiry,
especially of late years, standing on the brink of eternity, 'What is
there within us, or without us, on which a sinner can rest in a dying
hour?' If it be a holy life, there is no peace for me. Taking the law
of God for my rule, backslider is my name; yet peace I have found, and
on the best Security; this blessed Bible is my charter. I have
searched it with diligence and prayer, and my mind is confirmed in the
following truths: That the whole world is become guilty before God,
and is under his wrath and curse on that account. This is our state: a
miserable state it is, and as hopeless as miserable, for any thing we
can do merely of ourselves. But I read in this Bible to the full
amount of the following conclusions--that in the counsel of the
mysterious Triune Jehovah, Jesus Christ, the second person of the
incomprehensible Trinity, was sanctified, or set apart to become the
Saviour of law-condemned sinners, to take their nature upon him,
comply with the requisitions of the eternal immutable law of God, and
become their surety. Man is a rebel, it is put to his account: a
penalty is incurred--He, as their surety, is made liable. Are they
again to be made heirs of eternal life? Perfect obedience is the
condition--and of Him, as their surety, it is demanded. All this being
fulfilled, sinners are become his property: he has paid their debt,
and merited for them eternal life, all in their own nature, as their
Head and representative; so that believers are complete in him. This
is the righteousness of God, wrought out by Jesus Christ, in his own
person, God-man, as their surety. To this nothing of the believer's is
to be added--with this nothing of his mixed; it is for ever perfect;
entirely distinct from that holiness of heart and life which is
wrought in him in consequence of this. God has declared himself well
pleased with this righteousness, and that being himself reconciled, he
is in Christ Jesus reconciling sinners to him.
"Hence all the invitations scattered thick in the Old and New
Testament, not only to the penitent, weary, and heavy laden, but to
the stout-hearted, the backslider, to them that are wearying
themselves in their own way. 'Ho, every one that thirsteth'--'Whosoever
will, let him take the water of life freely,' Hence all the promises
annexed to believing, accepting, receiving, trusting, resting: Christ
the Saviour is the object--the gift of God to sinners for all the
above purposes. The Lord has convinced me that I have nothing in
myself on which I can rest; my conscience echoes to his word in all
that it asserts of my nature and my state; but this Saviour is
provided for sinners exactly of this description. I am invited to put
in my claim, I believe the record, I rest my salvation on his word;
God giveth to me eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Jesus
calls me to look unto him, and be saved; I do look unto him, and I am
saved. He assures me that those who come unto him shall never be cast
out. I do go to him and commit my sinful soul to his keeping; I shall
not be cast out. As many as receive the gift of his Son, receive at
the same time power to become the children of God. I do receive his
gift, and lay claim to his promise. He is my reconciled Father, and I
am his adopted child, and he hath sent his Spirit into my heart, by
which I can say, Abba, Father.
"I have, my dear James, taken this method of laying before you
the grounds of my own hope, because I think it the most simple method,
and containing at the same time my counsel to you to lay hold on the
same hope. The warrant is given us in God's own word, as sinners,
without respect to fruit or any works of ours. I can, if necessary,
give you chapter and verse, to the full amount; but you have those
about you who can give it to you by little and little, as your weak
state can bear it. This gift is held out to the sinner's acceptance in
many places of the word of God, and becomes the sinner's in the moment
of believing. Provision is made by the same covenant for his
sanctification; but that makes no part of justifying righteousness.
Christ is made of God unto him wisdom, righteousness, sanctification,
and redemption. Try, my precious young friend, to lay hold on this
hope, and enter into the rest provided for the believer here. Stretch
forth 'the withered hand,' the Lord himself will give you strength.
Commit your precious soul into his hands, and rest assured that he
will perfect all that concerns you--work all his work in you--carry
you safely through the Jordan of death, and put you in possession of
the inheritance he has purchased for you. That all this shall be,
is the prayer and firm hope of
"Your affectionate friend,
"ISABELLA GRAHAM."
The two following extracts, addressed to Mrs. C----, near Boston,
present a very gratifying view of Mrs. Graham in her advanced years,
and may well awaken the desire not only to die the death, but to enjoy
the "fruitful old age" of "the righteous."
"I have, as you know, enjoyed much in life, enjoyed its dearest,
sweetest comforts, love and friendship, with a heart tremblingly alive
to both. Lover and friends of youth are long since gone, other
friendships I have formed, and have been happy even in these; now I am
shut up with ails and aches. The world, properly so called, is a dead
blank to me; yet I do think I never enjoyed life more. I would not
exchange my present happiness for the most transporting moments of my
life--of which I have had a large share--though thousands of years
were added to enjoy them. I do not mean barely that happiness which
consists in the anticipation of pleasure beyond the grave; that is
indeed delightful; but I enjoy life now. Books of taste are mine no
more: still less those of science and history; but my dear Bible;
precious subjects; my dear Saviour. The height, the depth, the
breadth, the length of the glorious plan of redemption open to my
delightful perception more and more, and the Spirit witnesseth with my
spirit, that I have my part in it by the gift of _faith_. I
believe the record, that God giveth to us eternal life, and I put in
my claim as a sinner. I account it a 'faithful saying, and worthy of
all acceptation, that Jesus Christ came into the world to save
sinners, of whom I am the chief,' I still enjoy the ordinances of the
gospel: my memory, as you know, is much impaired: I recollect very
little of the sermons I hear; but I think I never heard with so much
attention. I am delighted, instructed, and fed at the time, and the
subjects open to me without my being able to recollect the order or
the words of the speaker. O let me recommend this dear Lord to your
heart and confidence; commit all your concerns to him; mistrust no
part of his providential dealings with you; his wisdom shall manage
for you, and you shall one day say, 'He hath done all things well.'"
"MARCH, 1811.
"I am daily on the lookout; one year and three months will
complete my threescore and ten. I do not know one individual alive
whom I know in my school-days; it has been the case for many years. I
do not long for my dismission, neither am I tired of life; but nothing
in this world, unless closely connected with another, interests me;
and Oh, I am tired of sin; still it cleaves to me; in all things I
come short, and many duties neglect altogether; for I still have a
considerable, share of health, and might do some good, had I will
equal to my opportunities; as to the power, it is not in me, but I
know I have it in my blessed Head, and for the asking. I cannot but
long to be delivered from sin, and sinful apathy in particular; for
really my heart must be wickedly fertile, to find out opportunities of
moral transgression. Food and raiment are mine without care; my
children, under God, care for me. I have my dear little room, my
Bible, and books founded on it. I have a dear pastor and Christian
friends, lively ordinances, and also much of the Lord's presence at
times; my cup runs over with blessings, but my gratitude bears no
proportion; my zeal for the glory of God and the good of my
fellow-sinners seems buried under self-indulgence and apathy. O that
the goodness of the Lord may lead me to repentance.
"And now, my dear friend, let me know how it is with you and your
dear family. The severe winter is past; how have you got along? with
what temporal comfort, and how has the Lord dealt with your soul? Has
the barrel of meal or the cruse of oil failed? Does the opening spring
cheer your spirits, and furnish a song of praise? Does it find you in
a situation to dig your garden, sow your seeds, and make provision for
future comfort? Has the Lord turned your captivity, and dried up the
bitter waters that flowed against you? How are your eyes, after all
the briny tears that have steeped them? How are your poor nerves,
after all the shocks that have agitated them? All these things have
been on my mind; but from my long silence, you cannot believe it. What
are we all, but broken reeds, which pierce the hand when laid hold of
for support? There is but one Friend to poor, fallen, miserable man,
in the universe. He is mercy; he is goodness; he is truth; he is
wisdom; he is unchangeable, and never will fail you: take him to your
heart; give it all to him; he only is worthy, no other is."
Her friend Mrs. C---- had now experienced new trials, by which
she was again plunged into the depth of despondency. In the following
we have a noble effort of Mrs. Graham's mind and heart to raise her up
to "sit in heavenly places in Christ Jesus."
"JUNE 27, 1811.
"I received my dear friend's letter this day week, and have been
answering it ever since. Never was I in such a strait. It contains the
effusions of disappointed hopes and anticipations of sore evils;
indicates a soul deeply wounded, and taking in Christian principles
under temptation. Where shall I begin? I have laid it before our
compassionate High-priest, I have requested direction. Assist me, O
thou blessed Comforter, whose office it is to convince of sin, as well
as to minister consolation. Do both, from the heart and by the pen of
thy handmaid.
"It appears to me salutary to call your attention first to the
sovereignty of God. The silver and the gold are his, and the cattle on
a thousand hills; he gives them to whomsoever he pleases; he setteth
up one and putteth down another, doing whatsoever pleaseth him in the
armies of heaven, and among the inhabitants of this earth; none can
stay his hand, or say unto him, What doest thou? He attributes to
himself all events; men and other creatures are but instruments. Men's
wicked hearts impel them to commit evil, but the events are of the
Lord, which he overrules for his own glory, and for the good of his
people. 'Him being delivered by the determinate counsel' of God, ye
have taken, and by wicked hands have crucified him. Joseph said, 'Ye
thought evil against me; but God meant it for good,' 'to save much
people alive.' The Lord does not often, at the time, give his people
reasons for afflicting them, though they can often read them at an
after-period.
"Job was a holy man; his afflictions from God's own hand were
very deep; the teasing unkindness and injustice of his friends made
great part of the temptation, and he spoke unadvisedly with his lips.
When God did appear, he did not answer his cavils, nor give him one
reason why he had dealt with him thus; but silenced him with views of
his majesty, power, and wisdom--of his own meanness and vileness,
though correct in his conduct beyond most others. I believe he spoke
truth when he said, 'I delivered the poor that cried, and the
fatherless, and him that had none to help him. The blessing of him
that was ready to perish came upon me, and I caused the widow's heart
to sing for joy. I was eyes to the blind, and feet was I to the lame.
I was a father to the poor, and the cause which I knew not, I searched
out.' God allowed the weight of the trial to be upon his spirit, with
the conviction of his presumption, till he brought him to his feet.
'Behold, I am vile, what shall I answer thee?' 'I will lay my hand
upon my mouth.' 'I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.' These
things were written for our example and profit.
"This afflictive providence is now finished, at least so far.
What you now possess is the allotment of your God. Set all instruments
aside and listen to the Holy Ghost: 'Humble yourselves under the
mighty hand of God, and he shall exalt you in due time.' In order to
this, I would recommend to you to take a close, retrospective view of
your past life, with earnest prayer that God would search you and try
you, and show you what wicked ways have been or now are in you. Go
back to the days of your youth; take a close view of the use you made
of affluence and influence; not comparing yourself with others, but
judging yourself by the law of God, the only standard of right and
wrong, truth and error. Seek for humbling views of yourself in
yourself. If the Holy Ghost enlighten, you will find sufficient
grounds. Seek for consolation in the free promises of God, through
Jesus Christ, of which there are also abundance, even to the chief of
sinners. What I recommend to you has been my own practice, especially
in times of trial; and if health will admit of it, add fasting,
because I think it is the Lord's ordinance. 'The days shall come when
the bridegroom shall be taken from them, then shall they fast in
those days.'
"Read the third chapter of Jeremiah's lamentations; endeavor to
come under the feelings of contrition on account of your sins, and
derive consolation from faith in God's great mercy; ever keeping in
view the only channel through which mercy can flow to sinners of
Adam's race. Take also a view of God's dealings with his elect nation,
in the wilderness: they had nothing but manna, and were punished for
murmuring; while at that very time the nations in Canaan, the
Egyptians, and Assyrians, were living in all manner of luxury. What
was their whole history but backsliding, threatening upon threatening?
then chastisement, turning, repenting, pardon, reconciliation, and the
same round again, every chastisement severer than the last, while
worldlings in general have their day to the end; then 'are they
brought into desolation as in a moment.' I wish you to take a
particular view of God's dealings with them, before Nebuchadnezzar
sacked the city of Jerusalem. The decree was passed after many
warnings, and much long-suffering. How many pauses, as it were, did
the merciful Lord God make before he gave them finally up to their
enemies; and when the decree was irrevocable, and the chastisement to
take place, still he followed them with mercy. See Jeremiah 27:12; and
chapter 29, the letter which God commanded Jeremiah to write to those
who had been carried away captive with Jehoiakim, advising them to
build houses and plant vineyards, and to make the most of their
situation. Those at Jerusalem were commanded to submit to the king of
Babylon, as in that case he would not destroy the city; but no, they
stood it out, and the threatened vengeance overtook them.
"The poor were left to take care of the vineyards. Jeremiah
remained with them in preference to going with the king of Babylon to
be promoted to honor. God offered to take them under his protection
and be their God: but no, they would go to Egypt, and put themselves
under the king of Egypt's protection. Jeremiah told them from the
Lord, that Egypt itself should soon go into captivity. But to Egypt
they went and carried Jeremiah with them. See Isaiah's prophecy on
this occasion, chapter 30:1-4. Now look at chapter 42:24; there you
see God's judgment and chastening; follow him in the beginning of
chapter 43, and view his mercy; in the end of the same chapter, again,
see his charge against them, but it is followed, with mercy,
not judgment.
"Thus we learn the character of God. Thus we learn his dealings
with his people. They are not called to earthly comfort and
prosperity. They ever have been, and still are a suffering people;
they are all sinners--sin brings suffering, and God overrules
suffering, so as to make it profitable to them. Though redeemed by the
life and death of Christ, being justified by faith, they have peace
with God; yet the Lord has not pleased all at once to qualify them for
the purchased possession. They receive a new birth, new life, and are
called to work out their own salvation with fear and trembling, with
this consolation, that God worketh in them both to will and to do of
his good pleasure. This is not their home, here they have no
continuing city; they are travelling through the wilderness, to the
city and mansions purchased and prepared for them by their Saviour,
and must be made holy before they can enter in. They have many
corruptions to be mortified, and many errors in their estimation of
men and things to be corrected. Their hearts require to be made
spiritual, humble, tender, resigned, and loving. 'Who fed thee in the
wilderness with manna--that he might humble thee, and that he might
prove thee, to do thee good at thy latter end.'
"Besides, all suffering is not the immediate punishment of sin in
the individual sufferer, nor for his exclusive profit; it is evident
from Scripture, there is suffering for the benefit of the body of
Christ, _his church_, of which, I think, all have some share. God
has wise ends to answer by all the suffering of his creatures, and
especially of the members of his body. The apostles rejoiced in this,
and so ought we. 'If we suffer with him, we shall also reign with
him.' Paul says, 'I fill up in my flesh that which is behind of the
sufferings of Christ, for his body's sake, which is the church.'
"Now, my dear friend, look at your real situation, as a suffering
member of a suffering body. Take a view of the saints of God in
history, sacred or profane, and compare your own individual suffering
with theirs: I am apt to think that, great as it is, it will not rise
to mediocrity. I could expatiate on this subject, from what comes
every day within my own knowledge. The Lord is working in this way all
around me; but of that another time. In your own case, try for a
moment to shut out of view every thing without your own family, what
you once were, what you once possessed and enjoyed; also what your
friends possess and enjoy at this present time; detach yourself from
all. What was yours is gone; what you calculated upon is also gone;
set all aside, and consider yourself a sinner saved from destruction
by grace; in a state of purgation and preparation for happiness; on a
pilgrimage with thousands of others your fellow-saved sinners, through
the wilderness, to that inheritance which was purchased for you at
_such a price_. Your Saviour is your leader, protector, provider;
also your physician, and the physician of the whole body, perfectly
acquainted with the constitution, disposition, and temper of every
individual. He has made provision for each, all the journey through,
and given security that none shall suffer _real_ want.
"Bread and water are promised; nothing beyond these, though in
general he gives more; to each he gives a portion in hand, to some for
a day, some for a week, some for a year, which they calculate upon
with more or less probability: none with certainty. Your portion
is--for a year; take a view of those whom you know; one with another,
I am inclined to think the Lord has still given you your full share of
privilege. Look at the ordinary provision he makes for the ministers
of his gospel, most of them with large families; many of those in the
country have five hundred dollars, some four hundred, some three
hundred, generally ill paid. The Lord puts a blessing in it, he makes
it go far; they do what their hands find to do, and get along: so will
he do with you, my dear. He will put you upon methods of industry and
economy: your one chicken divided into six parts, with a little bit of
pork, with the fruit of God's blessing on your industry in the garden,
shall both taste sweet and satisfy for the time. Try to be thankful;
Moses said of the manna, 'This is the bread which the Lord your God
giveth you.' Pray and watch against dwelling on the plentiful tables
of others; and when bidden to a feast take your portion, and say, this
is from the Lord for the time. Do not let a thought of misery or
wretchedness dwell upon your mind. O no, God is good; you shall not
want. O, what sweet meals have I and my children made on hot potatoes,
nicely boiled and cracked, with salt--not merely content, but they
tasted good and savory. There are peculiar pleasures in a life of that
kind. You shall yet sing of it.
"Now, my dear friend, I have done with what I had to say on this
head. I have had great fears of wounding, lest you should reckon me
among Job's friends; but you call me mother, and it is required of a
mother to be faithful. I now leave it with the Lord. We are delighted
to find you girding up the loins of your mind and setting about active
duty. Let us meet at a throne of grace, and look to the course the
Lord marks out for us."
To Mrs. G---- Y----.
"MY DEAR MADAM--I have just parted with my dear afflicted friend
Mrs. C----; she left it in charge to me, that I should write to you in
the time of your affliction. Surely I would do any thing whatever that
I thought might alleviate either her or your distress. But there are
cases to which God alone can speak; afflictions which he alone can
console. Such are those under which the sufferer is commanded to be
'still and know that he is God.' He never leaves his people in any
case, but sometimes shuts them up from human aid. Their grief is too
great to be consoled by human tongue or pen.
"Such I have experienced. I lost my only son; I neither know when
nor where; and for any thing I know, in a state of rebellion against
God. Here at my heart it lies still; who can speak to me of it?
neither can I reason upon it. Aaron held his peace. Old Eli said, 'It
is the Lord; let him do what seemeth him good.' Samuel in his turn had
his heart wrung by his ungodly son. David lamented over his beloved
Absalom; but it availed him nothing. Job's sons and daughters were all
cut off in one day; he himself lay in deep, sore bodily affliction;
his friends sat seven days and seven nights without opening their
mouths, because they saw his affliction was very great; and if they
spoke, it was to aggregate it; and when God himself spoke, he gave him
no reason for his dealings, but charged him with folly and madness.
'Shall he that contendeth with the Almighty instruct him? He that
reproveth God, let him answer it.' Then he laid his hand on his mouth,
confessed himself vile, and became dumb before God; abhorring himself,
and repenting in dust and ashes, instead of the splendid catalogue of
virtues enumerated in chapter 29, and complaints in chapter 10, which
I make not the least doubt were true, as far as human virtue can
reach; but if God charge even his angels with folly, shall man,
corrupt, self-destroyed man, plead merit before God?
"But, my dear friend, I do not find in all God's Bible any thing
requiring us to acquiesce in the final destruction of any, for whom we
have prayed, pleaded, and committed to him; least of all, our
offspring whom he has commanded us to train up for him. Children are
God's heritage. I do not say he has given us any promise for the
obstinately wicked; but when cut off, he only requires us to be still,
to hold our peace. I do not think he takes hope from us. God has set
limits to our faith for others; our faith must not rest in opposition
to his threatenings. We must believe that the wicked shall be turned
into hell, and all that forget God; but he hath set no bounds to his
own mercy; in that glorious plan of redemption, by which he
substitutes his own Son in the stead of sinners, he has made provision
for the chief of sinners, and can now be just and consistent while he
justifies the ungodly who believe in Jesus. Short was the time between
the thief's petition and the promise of salvation; nay, the petition
was the earnest of it. The same was the case with the jailer; I think,
too, the publican had the earnest in his petition. Now, instead of
laboring to bring my mind to acquiesce in the condemnation of my
child, on the supposition of its being for God's glory, I try to be
still, as he has commanded: not to follow my child to the yet
invisible world; but turning my eyes to that character which God has
revealed of himself--to the plan of redemption--to the sovereignty of
God in the execution of that plan--to his names of grace, 'The Lord,
the Lord God, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, and abundant in
goodness and truth, forgiving iniquity, and transgression, and sin,'
while he adds, 'and that will by no means clear the guilty;' I meet it
with his own declaration, 'He hath made Him to be sin for us who knew
no sin, that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.' I read
also that 'mercy rejoiceth against judgment,' and many other like
scriptures, which, although I dare not ground a belief of his
salvation on them, afford one ray of hope after another, that God may
have made him a monument of mercy to the glory of his grace.
"Thus God himself consoles his own praying people, while man
ought to be very cautious, if not silent, where the Scriptures are
silent, as it respects the final state of another, whose heart we
cannot know, nor what God may have wrought in it. God hath set bounds
to our faith, which can nowhere find solid ground to fix upon but in
his own written promise. Yet, as I said above, he has set no bounds to
his own mercy, and he has made provision for its boundless flow, as
far as he shall please to extend it, through the atonement and merits
of his own Son, 'who is able to save to the uttermost all who come
unto God by him,' Now, my dear friend, you have my ideas of our
situation; if they be correct, I pray that our compassionate Father
may comfort you by them; if otherwise, may he pardon what is amiss,
and lead you, my dear friend C----, and myself, to such consolation as
he himself will own as the work of his Spirit, and save us from the
enemy and our own spirit.
"Since writing the foregoing, I feel afraid of what I have said;
it is dangerous seeking comfort where the Scriptures are silent; yet
while we plead with God to be preserved from error, and try to be
still before him, he will save us from the subtlety of the serpent, as
well as from the rage of the lion. I am, with love,
"Your sympathizing friend,
"ISABELLA GRAHAM."
"ROCKAWAY, September 10, 1811.
"I have been here four Sabbaths. The first I spent at home, the
weather not permitting our going abroad; the second I spent at a
prayer-meeting with the Methodist brethren; the third we rode to
Hempstead, where I heard two plain gospel sermons from Mr. C----,
Presbyterian minister; and the last I attended at the Episcopal
church, same place; heard a good plain gospel sermon from Mr. H----,
and witnessed the dispensation of the Lord's supper.
"To sing the praises of our redeeming God, and to lift up my
heart in prayer with my fellow-sinners, in the comfortable hope that
there are other living souls praising and praying with me, refreshes
me: to hear the word of God read, and to be led to meditate upon it,
however simple and common the exposition, also refreshes me. I am
generally led to pray much for minister and people; to consider myself
as one with them in Christ. However weak his natural powers, however
few or small his talents, if I have reason to think that he is taught
of God that which flesh and blood cannot teach, I desire to esteem him
highly for his work's sake. I thank God for the meanest and weakest
of such: I believe they never labor in vain. 'Out of the mouths of
babes and sucklings,' in talents as well as in years, God will
perfect praise.
"In this new world, thickly settled in many places with natural
men 'eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage,' while the
flood of wrath is hastening to overwhelm them, and none to warn them
of their danger, nor point out the ark of safety; shall such men be
reckoned of none account, and their labors of no value? No, the wealth
of both Indies cannot balance their work; nor all the talents ever
possessed by fallen man, with all the orthodoxy which mere talents are
capable of acquiring, without that divine teaching which many of
those, thus contemned, possess. That same small discourse, those few
plain points, these same things repeated in the same way, contain
truths by which sinners may be saved, by which sinners shall be saved.
"Suppose, for it is but a supposition, that these men have made a
mistake. They are the Lord's, and in their place by his providence. He
will be forth-coming for them, and without miracle. From him shall
their fruit be found, and his power be manifested by their weakness.
Exert your energies, ye gifted doctors of divinity; and may the Lord
prosper the means used to produce a ministry which shall render
attendance upon their ministrations the interest of both the
understanding and the heart. Persuade men who are adding field to
field, house to house, thousand to thousand, to provide a competent
maintenance for them. If these last remain obstinate, and it be idle
to hope that youths of talents without fortune, whatever be their
piety, will serve the church of God at the expense of devoting
themselves to infallible penury, and all the wretchedness which
belongs to it--is it wise to weaken the hands and discourage the
hearts of those ministers already settled pastors, or to furnish their
people with arguments in their own vindication for leaving them in
want and penury?"
In the year 1811, some gentlemen of New York established a
Magdalen Society: they elected a board of ladies, requesting their aid
to superintend the internal management of the Magdalen House. This
board chose Mrs. Graham their presiding lady, which office she held
until her decease; the duties attendant on it she discharged with
fidelity and zeal. In 1812 the trustees of the Lancasterian school
solicited the attendance of several pious ladies, to give catechetical
instruction to their scholars one afternoon in every week: and Mrs.
Graham was one of those who attended regularly to this duty.
CHAPTER XI.
DEVOTIONAL EXERCISES AND CORRESPONDENCE.
"FEBRUARY 8, 1812.
"'By faith Moses, when he was come to years, refused to be called
the son of Pharaoh's daughter; esteeming the reproach of Christ
greater riches than the treasures of Egypt; for he had respect unto
the recompense of the reward: choosing rather to suffer affliction
with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a
season.' Heb. 11:24.
"All that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer
persecution; the natural heart is enmity against God, and hates his
image wherever found. If individual Christians have the favor of
individual worldlings, it never is for their piety, that is rather
borne with than loved; and too often Christians save themselves from
reproach by unfaithfulness; that, alas, has been my sin and shame. In
all my friendships with worldlings, some of which have been tender,
how unfaithful have I been to friendship's highest office. How seldom
have I endeavored to rescue my friend from sin and Satan, by leading
her to the Friend of sinners, the source of happiness. Contenting my
vile, selfish heart, with things pertaining to this life unconnected
with that to come, leaving her under the influence of 'the lust of the
eye, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life;' without eyes to
see her danger, or friend to warn her of it; and while she
communicated with me in things common to both, in all the good she
knew, keeping back nothing from me of all she possessed; how often
have I concealed my richest treasure, without inviting her to the
participation. O, faithless friend! O, ungrateful, unfaithful--first
to that gracious God who opened mine own eyes, arrested ray attention,
stopped up my path, and turned me to the way of life; and next to
my friend, whom I have left to pursue that same way of death,
without attempting to lead her to this same sovereign, merciful,
gracious Deliverer.
"And what withheld! Shame belongs to the heart governed by such
motives; fear of contempt, reproach, or, at most, the loss of a carnal
friendship. Of three such friends, now gone to their place, two
continued their worldly course to the last, so far as I know; for the
third the Lord provided a more faithful friend, who became worker
together with the Spirit of God, led her to the Friend of sinners, who
has compassion on the ignorant, and them that are out of the way, By
Him she was received, and in Him she found life, light, and peace.
"She soon outran faithless me in the heavenly race; gently chid
me for my remissness, but continued my friend and helper. Ever
foremost in the race, humble and steady in faith, she looked not back,
nor halted. She has long since finished her course, received her crown
and reward of grace, and become fruit to the account of that friend
who supplied what was wanting in me. I rejoice with them both, give
glory to God, from whom their fruit was found, and take shame and
confusion for my part.
"How many opportunities have I lost, and from the same sinful,
shameful cause. O my Redeemer, what can I say to thee? Words are
wanting to express my loathing of that vile, selfish cowardice.
"Didst Thou, who art the Creator of heaven and earth, the
brightness of the glory of God, the express image of his person, and
upholder of all things, suffer shame, contempt, anguish, death for my
sake, that thou mightest redeem me from the second death, and purchase
for me eternal life; and do I shrink and turn away from the least
taste of thy cup, though the curse is extracted and a blessing
infused!
"And after all this, art thou pacified towards me? I search in
vain for words to express the amazing grace. 'As the heaven is high
above the earth, so great is his mercy towards them that fear him, and
towards vile me, who can lay small claim to that character; yet, as
far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed my
transgressions from him. Bless the Lord, ye his angels, who excel in
strength, that do his commandments, hearkening to the voice of his
word. Bless the Lord, all ye his hosts, ye ministers of his that do
his pleasure; ye ministering spirits, sent forth to watch over and
minister to them who shall be heirs of salvation."
"FEBRUARY, 1812.
"Dr. M----. 'Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of
the world,' John 1:29.
"He dwelt chiefly on the substitution of the victim in the room
of the transgressor. When a victim was offered for an individual, he
was to lay his hand on the head of the animal, by the appointment of
God, as a token of his faith that his sins should be transferred to
the victim which suffered death in his stead, and that his sins were
forgiven and his person accepted. If the victim was for the whole
congregation, then the elders, as their representatives, were to lay
their hands upon the head of the victim, signifying the same faith.
Great was the subject of the plan of redemption: The Son of God
clothed with our nature, given and set apart as a propitiatory
sacrifice, the victim upon whom the sins of his elect were laid, and
he sacrificed in their stead.
"The Lamb of God, which took away the sins not only of the Jewish
transgressors, but the sins of the elect out of every nation, kindred,
and tongue throughout the world--on this Lamb of God rests my own
individual hope for pardon and for acceptance. I lay my own individual
hand of faith on his dear head, confess my sin, and rely upon his
sacrifice for pardon and acceptance, through the atonement made by
himself, God's anointed Priest."
"SABBATH, April, 1812.
"Dr. Romeyn. 'Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus
shall suffer persecution.' 2 Timothy 3:12. Gone as usual; but it came
home to my heart. I have not suffered persecution; and why? because my
life has not testified sufficiently against a sinful world. Alas,
alas! the world loves its own, and I have been so accommodating, to
say the least, as not to disturb it. 'The carnal mind is enmity
against God; is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be;'
but the world saw little in me of that image which they hate, and
enough of assimilation to balance that little. O my God, my
long-suffering, sin-pardoning God, thou knowest my vile cowardice;
with professors a professor of thy name, with worldlings a seeming
worldling. And now the season is past, the opportunity lost; the time
of life is arrived when the world itself expects to be abandoned. No
line of conduct in me will now reprove them; they account it wise to
look out for a better portion, when the world can no longer be
enjoyed; and through the deceitfulness of their own hearts, and the
suggestions of the ever-vigilant enemy of souls, may be hardened in
sin, by hoping to become religious in old age. O, let thy grace
prevent it.
"The sinfulness, and O, the ingratitude of my past life rise in
magnitude every review I take of it. And what can I say? Father,
forgive. Yes, I dare say, Father, forgive. I dare say more, Thou hast
forgiven. This grief of heart proves that thou hast not sealed me up
in impenitence. Thou rememberest thy covenant with me in the days of
my youth, when thou didst draw me with the cords of love and the bands
of a man; and though no language can express my baseness and my
ingratitude, through all my backsliding life, thy covenant stands
fast.
"'I remember, and am confounded, and will never open my mouth any
more because of my shame, now that thou art pacified towards me for
all that I have done. And I know that thou art the Lord.
Contrition dwell within this breast,
That God within this heart may rest:
Shame and confusion flush this face,
And magnify this glorious grace.
Grace be my theme while I have breath,
And on my quivering lips in death.
Angels and fellow-sinners, say,
Will you not join me in this lay,
Now, and through heaven's eternal day?
"Blessed Comforter, thou seest old age upon me, loss of memory,
and a desultory mind; I cannot retain even the substance of my dear
pastor's sermons. I thank thee for the food and refreshment at the
time, and often after for refreshing meditations on the same subjects.
I commit all to thee; keep them for me, and feed me with these truths
as thou seest I need. O be to me memory, judgment, presence of mind,
for order, regularity, and natural powers are gone. I rejoice in my
dear Saviour, who of God is made unto me wisdom, righteousness,
sanctification, and redemption. He shall perfect that which concerneth
me, and finish the work he has begun. Therefore I say, All is well."
"COMMUNION SABBATH, May 17, 1812.
"Was much melted under a sense of indwelling sin, and the
deceitfulness of the human heart, and of my own heart in particular. I
have been. I think, much in the exercise of contrition for the sins of
my past life, and exercised in watching over my words, thoughts, and
actions; now that the Lord has delivered me from all necessity to
care, having every thing provided for me _necessary to life and
godliness:_ pleasant food and clothing both for body and mind; my
dear room, retirement, fire, candle, attendance; my precious Bible,
and precious, lively, spiritual ordinances; a faithful and beloved
pastor, who feeds me with truth: I taste it, and I am fed. I am, as
the Lord God merciful and gracious has awarded, under the constant
influence of shame and confusion for my highly aggravated
transgressions: but I also enjoy the full sense of pardon; being
justified by faith, I have peace with God through our Lord Jesus
Christ; and knowing that I have a 'great high-priest that is passed
into, the heavens, Jesus the Son of God,' I am enabled to hold fast my
profession, comforted by this, that I have not a high-priest who
cannot be touched with the feeling of my infirmities, but was in all
points tempted as we are, yet without sin. I dare come, not very
boldly, for I am under much depression, to the throne of grace, that I
may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Every time is
a time of need with me, for sin still dwelleth in me. I have peace
with God through my dear Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, but am at
constant war with myself. I plead thy promise, that thou wilt subdue
my iniquities, that sin shall not have dominion over me. And now,
Captain of salvation, I renew the fight, but it is depending upon thee
to fight for me, with me, and in me. I will set myself to watch, but I
shall watch in vain, if thou keep not the avenues of my heart, and the
door of my lips. O, clothe me with thy meek and lowly spirit."
"SABBATH, July 26, 1812.
"Tired of the bustle of Rockaway, and having some subordinate
motives for returning home for a time, I embraced this season in
particular; having, in the compass of one week, Sabbath, Wednesday my
birthday, and the day set apart both by the General Assembly of our
church and the Governor of our state, for fasting, prayer, and
humiliation, besides lectures on the same evening. I returned
therefore on Friday, the 24th.
"Dr. R---- preached from Psalm 27:1,'The Lord is my light and my
salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of
whom shall I be afraid?'
"O my God, my merciful and gracious God, what can I say of thy
amazing, distinguishing mercy to me? Delivered from all these fears,
and able to adopt the text fully, I know of none who have more or
greater cause of fear as sinners. My transgressions have been of
_crimson_ and _scarlet_ hue. O my God, thou knowest them,
words cannot paint them. My Saviour, thou knowest them, for thou
baredst them; every jot and tittle was put to thy account, and thou
didst cancel all. O that garden, that cry on the cross! the effects
were seen on thy sacred body, but who can conceive the mysterious
horror which agonized thy sacred soul? But thou saidst, _It is
finished,_ and finished it is. Lamb of God, which takest away the
sins of the world, on thy consecrated head I lay the hand of faith,
confess my sins, pray for forgiveness, and believe that I am forgiven.
"July 29th, my birthday, and the last day of the threescore years
and ten of my sinful life. What an, exhibition will that day produce,
when the secrets of all hearts will be laid open, all my actions and
all the springs of them. In all the myriads which shall appear at the
bar of God, will there be such a sinner--taking into view the early
grace manifested?
"Born, I think, about the seventeenth year of my natural life;
previously instructed in the doctrines and precepts of the Scriptures,
as far as the natural mind can conceive, by pious parents and a
faithful pastor; with milk provided for my spiritual infancy, and
richer food set before me for my growth; the leaves of the new
covenant were opened to my view, and the fulness treasured in Christ
for my supply, to be asked, to be delighted in; and delighted I was,
and satisfied. But Oh, I forsook the fountain of living waters, and
hewed out broken cisterns, that could hold no water. Where can
language be found to depict my ingratitude, my madness, my folly; and
where to describe the long-suffering, the compassionate remonstrances,
the kindly, fatherly chastisements, the repeated pardons and
restorations of my gracious God in days of youth--aggravating my
renewed backslidings, bringing upon my sinful soul vengeance for my
inventions? What were the sins of Israel and Judah to mine? Mine were
committed after the great atonement was made; the adorable
High-priest, Jesus, had with his own blood entered within the veil,
and was set on the right hand of the throne of the Majesty of the
heavens: the minister of the sanctuary, and of the true tabernacle,
which the Lord pitched, and not man. The new covenant was exhibited,
established on better promises, himself the Mediator. The new and
living way was consecrated to the holiest of all by the blood of
Jesus; a throne of grace was established, Jesus himself our Advocate
and Intercessor. We are now privileged to come boldly to a throne of
grace, that we may find grace to help in the time of need. O how
aggravated my sin above theirs, having such great and precious
privileges and promises, and a High-priest who can be touched with the
feeling of our infirmities, who was in all points tempted as we are;
who owns us as his brethren and sisters, yea, the very _members of
his body_, and his Spirit dwelleth in us.
"I set apart the day for fasting and deep humiliation; took
another survey of my past sinful life; confessed particulars on my
knees, and made a fresh application to the blood of sprinkling which
cleanseth from all sin; took a fresh hold of his new covenant of
promise. 'This is the covenant that I will make with them after those
days, saith the Lord; I will put my laws in their hearts, and in their
minds will I write them, and their sins and their iniquities will I
remember no more.' Lord, do as thou hast said. I rest my immortal soul
on thy promise."
"JULY 30, 1812.
"The day set apart by the General Assembly and State Legislature
for fasting and humiliation, confession of sin and prayer.
"Our pastor read the second chapter of Jeremiah, a great portion
of which belongs to my own character as an individual; and is laid up
as part of that provision which is to support me through the last
stage in the wilderness, and through Jordan, over which I must shortly
pass; laid in as a proof of the amazing long-suffering of God, and his
readiness to forgive even the vile backslider in heart and life, as
proclaimed in chapter three."
"SABBATH, NOV. 22."
"'Turn ye to the strong-hold, ye prisoners of hope.' Zech. 9:12.
My Jesus--my hope, my stronghold, my safety, my Saviour, my portion,
my life, my happiness--yes, my happiness, for safe I am and happy,
though sometimes in heaviness, for yet sin dwelleth in me, and in
others dear as my own soul; and though I know it is pardoned, and
provision made for pardon to the end, yet, O it is bitter, and bitter
let it be. I would not have it otherwise. Heal my depravity, O God;
take sin out of this heart; O fill it with love to thee, and to all my
fellow-sinners. My dear High-priest, it can be but a little further to
Jordan. My seventy years are run. Does not the ark of the covenant
appear, going before me? am I not called to decamp and follow after? O
my blessed, blessed High-priest, keep my eye fixed on thy person, and
let me the little further follow thee step by step, foot after foot,
without losing one mark all the way to Jordan; and there let me see
thee. Blessed ark of the covenant, roll back the waters of terror,
stand firm in Jordan, and bid me come unto thee, and set up the stones
of memorial in a song of praise in the midst of Jordan.
"O then thy glory let me see,
Then cause thy face to shine on me,
And tune my heart, and tune my voice,
And language furnish to rejoice,
That all around may lend their tongue,
And sweetly join my dying song."
"SABBATH, December 8, 1812.
"'Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me:
thou shalt stretch forth thy hand against mine enemies, and thy right
hand shall save me.' 'The Lord will perfect that which concerns me:
thy mercy, O Lord, endureth for ever: forsake not the works of thine
own hands.' Psalm 138:7, 8.
"I will no longer mourn over loss of memory; I think the Lord has
more than made it up to me by his sensible presence while hearing and
applying the sermon to my heart at the time; not only so, he
enlightens my understanding; it opens more to the elucidations of my
pastor; and though I forget the words and the order of his discourses,
I am instructed in the knowledge of the subject and the Scriptures in
general. Shall I deny the grace of God through fear or pride? I see it
not to be my duty. Can I attribute any thing to myself? No; shame and
confusion of face belong to me, for my carelessness and idleness in
the use of means during health and strength of body and mind. Never
has God dealt with me as I sinned, but according to his own mercy, and
in a way of great sovereignty. Let me record his great goodness, his
tender mercies, and bless his name.
"Old age is upon me, and some of its infirmities; my memory is
much impaired, and my mind in temporal things and subjects becomes
very desultory. Not so in spirituals: I think I not only hear and read
with more intense attention and prompt application, but my mind is
more disposed to meditation; and though I cannot remember much of the
sermons I hear, yet my mind is often furnished with happy and
profitable thoughts on the same subjects; and I find myself instructed
without remembering the instructions. This is evidently from the Lord.
It appears to me also that I have not lost the sensibility of youth. I
often shed tears, not only of compunction, but of gratitude. I seldom
commune without tears. I think much of death; am solemnized, but
not afraid.
"As far as I know, my confidence rests upon a
surety-righteousness, exclusive of every thing in myself. I am not
conscious of self-righteousness; I have no complacency in any thing
ever done by me. I not only believe that in all things I come short,
and that sin is mixed in all I do, because God hath said so, but am
sensible of the particular depravity. It is my sincere desire to be
stript of every thing that is mine--sins and duties laid in one
heap--and to be clothed in the surety-righteousness of my Redeemer;
all that is mine put to his account, and all that he did and suffered,
as the Mediator and surety of the covenant, to mine.
"I am afflicted with rheumatism, but God gives me patience,
disposes me to enumerate my many remaining mercies--eyes to read his
word and ears to hear it preached; hitherto such moderation of pain as
very often to be able to attend with fixedness. I have my room at my
own command, candle, fire, and attendance; and O, bless the Lord, my
soul, much of his sensible presence. In the night when my aches
prevent me from sleeping, he gives me some sweet hymn; I sing, my pain
is diverted, while my heart is melted and warmed under the
expressions, and I often drop asleep with the words on my tongue.
"I am convinced that the provision I have laid in for my last
journey in the wilderness and through Jordan, is selected by the
influence of the Holy Ghost. He takes of the things of Christ and
shows them unto me; and while he keeps upon my mind my meanness, my
vileness, wrings my heart with the retrospect of my backslidings and
highly aggravated transgressions, he opens at the same time the leaves
of the New Testament and shows me my deliverance from punishment, the
redemption of my soul, and my translation into the kingdom of God's
dear Son: I weep and rejoice; I loathe myself, and clasping my Saviour
to my heart, am at a loss for words to express how precious he is to
my saved soul.
"Jesus, I love thy charming name,
'Tis music to my ear;
Fain would I sound it out so loud
That heaven and earth should hear.
Yes, thou art precious to my soul,
My transport and my trust,
My Saviour, Shepherd, Husband, Friend,
No other good I boast.
All my capacious powers can wish,
In thee doth richly meet;
Not to mine eyes is light so dear.
Nor friendship's self so sweet.
Thy grace shall dwell upon my heart
And shed its fragrance there,
The noblest balm of all my wounds,
And cordial of my care.
I'll speak the honors of thy name
While I have life and breath;
Then, speechless, clasp thee in my arms,
The antidote of death.'
"Dr. M---- preached in the evening from Eph. 3:30: 'For we are
members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.' It was a rich
sermon; I enjoyed it at the time, but cannot recall it. Blessed
Spirit, keep it for me, and feed me with the substance of it, as I
stand in need.
"Accept of my thanks, blessed Jesus; that through thy meritorious
life and death, I have an interest in the great whole. Accept of my
thanks, blessed Spirit, for thus taking the things of Christ and
showing them unto me. And accept of my thanks, Father of mercies, for
the gift of thy Son, and all these blessings in him.
"'Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who
hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places, in
Christ Jesus.' Amen."
"GREENWICH, Sabbath.
"Heard Dr. Milledoler preach in the state prison to the convicts,
from Luke 19:10: 'For the Son of man is come to seek and save that
which was lost.' He addressed them as fellow-sinners, all being by
nature lost and dependent on the same means for recovery.
"True, my heart accords. O Lord, thou knowest I stand in my own
estimation a sinner, the chief of sinners. These have added to their
sin against thee, breach against men, and are suffering the penalty.
"My sins have been chiefly, though far from exclusively, against
God, and with many aggravations. That I was born in a Christian land,
of pious parents, who gave me religious instructions; brought up under
faithful, lively ministers, and in religious society; exposed to few
temptations but what arose from the corruptions of my own heart, are
aggravations, which, perhaps, many are mourning over, as heightening
the sin of unbelief in their unregenerated state. But the
aggravations--the painful remembrance of which mars my comfort and
covers me with shame and confusion even now, though I know that God is
pacified with me--are as far above these as the heavens are above the
earth. For in that Christian land, under those Christian parents and
faithful pastors, while yet young and tender, I was enlightened,
tasted of the heavenly gift, was made a partaker of the Holy Ghost,
tasted of the good word of God and the power of the world to come. I
was taken from the fearful pit and miry clay; my feet set upon the
rock, and a new song put into my mouth, even to the amount of, O
death, where is thy sting?--of redeeming love, pardoning grace, new
covenant mercy, I had 'joy and peace in believing,' But forgetting my
natural character, the extreme volatility of my spirits, my taste for
gayety; forgetting the danger of smothering the heavenly spark by
indulging to the utmost bound of lawful pleasure; forgetting my
continual need of fresh supplies of grace to preserve and feed that
new life which could not live on earthly food; forgetting the
deceitfulness of my heart, the injunctions of my Bible, I became cold,
negligent in the use of means, distant in prayer, lost enjoyment, and
my heart, naturally carnal and madly fond of pleasure, got entangled.
'The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eye, and the pride of life'
regained their power; other loves usurped the place of that Beloved
who had bought me with his blood, and betrothed me to himself; 'that
which came into my mind was, that I would be as the families of the
countries, to serve wood and stone.' Blessed be his name, he said, 'It
shall not be.' He brought me into the wilderness and pleaded with me,
caused me to pass under the rod, brought me again into the bond of
the covenant.
"O how often hast thou wrought with me, for thy name's sake. One
self-willed step brought with it a train of consequences dangerous to
spiritual life, filling even the path of duty with pits and snares,
cutting me off from ordinances, pastor, parents, church, country, and
Christian society; placing me at the same time in the midst of carnal
delights; and every thing in my natural temper and dispositions was
congenial to them. What saved me? What in heaven or earth could save
me, but thy covenant? Truly thy covenant standeth fast; therefore I
was not lost in the vortex. But 'the Lord God, merciful and gracious,
long-suffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, forgiving
iniquity, transgression, and sin,' kept his eye upon me; many a time
did he stop up my path. O from how many delusions of my own seeking;
how many snares and nets of my own weaving; how many pits of my own
digging, hast thou delivered me, when wandering, bewildered, on
temptation's ground, in the cloudy dark day. How often hast thou
sought me out; how often bound me up when broken, strengthened me when
sick, and fed me with judgment, and very, very often, thou madest
thyself known to me. I knew thy hand when it shook the rod, when it
arrested me on some mad career. I knew thy hedge, thy bar; saw not
only escapes, but my Deliverer: often paused, turned, and took fast
hold of thy covenant. I had no afflictions in those days, but every
pleasure lawful to be enjoyed, and natural to the heart of woman; but
no pastor, no church, no Christian society; yet God was there, my
Bible, my Doddridge, and other good books. And to my shame and
confusion this day, he was not, in the midst of all my idolatry, a
barren wilderness, nor a land of drought to me. I had many Sabbaths;
literally the Sabbath was a sign between my covenant God and me: ill
spent it often was, but not with company; it was spent in retirement.
The Lord did not leave me so far as to give up the Sabbath to the
world. Though my heart was incrusted, and spiritual life scarcely
discernible, sometimes the Lord met me, and strange to tell, not with
threatenings causing terror, but with compunction, melting, turning,
and ere the day was over, manifestations of pardon, though not joy;
for I was grieved at my ingratitude.
"I did expect affliction long before it came, and my presumptuous
heart calculated upon the fruit being the peaceable fruit of
righteousness, and to take away sin; but still I held my way, gadding
about, drinking the waters of Sihor and the rivers of Syria, and
eating the worldling's dainties. Oh, Oh, at last it came; yes, it
came. Thou didst cut off the desire of my eyes with a stroke, and with
that made the world a blank to me. But O the stately steps of thy
providential mercy previous to that trying hour. O my God, I must ever
wonder and stand amazed at thy exuberant grace. In consistence with
thy covenant, thou mightest have struck me among these worldlings, in
that dry and barren land, where not one tongue could speak the
language of Canaan, nor bring forth from thy precious Bible the words
of consolation to my wounded and bereaved spirit; richly had I merited
this; but never, no, never hast thou dealt with me as I sinned.
Through the whole of my life, from the time that the Lord called me
out of darkness into his marvellous light--from the time that he first
led me to the Saviour, and enabled me to take hold of his covenant,
wanderer, backslider, transgressor, rebel, idolater, ingrate, and if
there be any name more expressively _vile_ and _abominable_,
that is mine. And from the hour of my birth, through the whole of this
refractory perverse life, 'the Lord, the Lord God, merciful and
gracious, long-suffering, abundant in goodness and truth, forgiving
iniquity, transgression, and sin,' has been, and now is, thy
name to me.
"No, ye strong-built walls, ye grated windows, ye gloomy cells,
ye confine no such sinner as I. And did the Lord take vengeance on my
inventions? O no, _mercy_ preceded, _mercy_ accompanied
judgment; yea, it was all mercy, not vengeance. He brought me and my
idol out of that barren land, placed us under the breath of prayer,
among a dear little society of Methodists; he laid us upon their
spirits, and when the messenger Death was sent for my beloved, the
breath of prayer ascended from his bedside, from their little meeting,
and I believe from their families and closets. The God of mercy
prepared their hearts to pray, and his ear to hear, and the answer did
not tarry. Behold, my husband prayeth; confesses sin; applies to the
Saviour; pleads for forgiveness for his sake; receives comfort;
blesses God for Jesus Christ, and dies with these words on his tongue,
'I hold fast by the Saviour,' Behold another wonder; the idolatress in
an ecstasy of joy. She who never could realize a separation for one
single minute during his life, now resigns her heart's treasure with
praise and thanksgiving.
"O the joy of that hour; its savor remains on my heart to this
moment. For five days and nights I had been little off my knees: it
was my ordinary posture at his bedside, and in all that time I had but
_once_ requested life. Surely the spirit of prayer and supplication
was poured out. The Spirit helped mine infirmities with groanings
which could not be uttered, leading me to pray for that which God had
determined to bestow; making intercession for my husband, according
to the will of God.
"O sing unto the Lord a new song, for he hath done marvellous
things. His right hand and his holy arm hath gotten him the victory.
The Lord hath made known his salvation. His righteousness hath he
openly shown in the sight of the heathen. He hath remembered his mercy
and his truth toward the house of Israel. All the ends of the earth
have seen the salvation of our God." Psalm 98.
"FRIDAY, December.
"Sermon from John 4:10: 'If thou knewest the gift of God, and who
it is that saith, Give me to drink, thou wouldest have asked of him,
and he would have given thee living water,'
"This is part of my provision laid in for my passage through
Jordan. Christ is the gift of God. Christ is the water of life; he is
this living water, and the bread of life _given_; given by God,
received by the sinner. Life and comfort are experienced, and fruit
produced is the evidence; but first of all, this gift must be known,
and the soul's need must be known; Christ, the anointed prophet,
taught this woman both, and no other could. 'Search me, O Lord, and
try me.' Hast thou not taught my soul its miserable and ruined state
by nature; its helplessness as well as misery? Hast thou not also
brought me to this living, life-giving water? Oh, hast thou not given
me faith to come, faith to drink; and have I not experienced its
solacing quality? Has it not satisfied my soul, and in some degree
allayed my thirst for carnal delights? Blessed Spirit, the gift of the
Father and of the Son, pour into my soul repeated draughts of this
living water; yea, be in me, according to my Redeemer's promise, a
well of water springing up to eternal life, and cause me to bring
forth fruit to the glory of the Father.
"'Other foundation can no man lay, than that which is laid,
Christ Jesus.'
"Do I, O my God, seek for or desire any other foundation? Are not
all my hopes for time and eternity built on this foundation? Is not
Christ all my salvation and all my desire? Do I not embrace thy
covenant just as it is, believing that thou givest unto me eternal
life, and that this life is in thy Son, whom thou hast given 'to be a
covenant of the people.' Iniquities prevail against me; but thou wilt
not only purge them away, but wilt subdue them. Sin shall not have
dominion over me, for I am not tinder the law, but under grace."
To Miss Walker, Edinburgh.
"NEW YORK, 1812.
"My dear Miss Walker, I think, is in my debt; but that is no
reason why I may not inquire after her health and welfare, and through
her, of that of her brother, sister, and other dear friends yet in
their pilgrimage. My dear, dear Mrs. Walker lives in my affections,
and surely what concerns her children can never be to me a matter of
indifference. Your dear brother's persevering kindness and tried
friendship have written gratitude in indelible characters on my heart.
'A friend in need is a friend indeed;' and such was he. I trust the
Lord has rewarded and will reward him. I have still in my possession
many dear remembrances of your worthy mother; her sensible, pious
letters, some of which have proved prophetic, are among my treasures.
What a lovely group presses upon my memory at this moment, united to
Jesus and to one another on earth, and the union is now perfected in
heaven. Your dear mother, Mrs. Brown, dear Mrs. Randall, and Lady
Glenorchy, all zealous for the welfare of the widow and orphans, whose
way lay peculiarly through Vanity Fair, and whose spirits were too
much assimilated to the wares there exhibited, and most unworthy of
all the care and pains they bestowed upon her. Tell my then dear
pastor the pilgrim is not lost; he will find her in the 18th chapter
of Ezekiel: he may remember that he and dear Doctor Erskine gave me
over to the Lord when leaving Edinburgh. Well has he kept the charge,
though I have not my part, after all the chastisements and charges
received. But he is 'the Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious,
long-suffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for
thousands, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin.'
"I am now a happy Mary, enjoying the full sense of pardon and the
light of his countenance in the meantime, and the full prospect of
being soon with him, made like him, and capacitated to praise him.
"I. GRAHAM."
"SABBATH, January 18.
"Dr. R----. 'By grace ye are saved through faith; and that not of
yourselves: it is the gift of God.'
"All is of grace, all is free gift, or we wicked, wretched
sinners, could have no interest in it. Thanks be unto God for his
unspeakable gift of Jesus Christ, given for a covenant of the people.
Thanks be unto God for the gift of faith, by which we apprehend this
covenant, and become interested in him, as the salvation of our souls.
Thanks be unto God for life to work; for new principles and new
motives, new desires, new hopes, new fears, and, in some measure, new
conduct. All of grace, and to the God of grace be all the glory.
"Afternoon. 'Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither
let the mighty man glory in his might; let not the rich man glory in
his riches: but let him that glorieth, glory in this, that he
understandeth and knoweth me; that I am the Lord which exercise
righteousness, loving-kindness, and judgment in the earth: for in
these things I delight, saith the Lord.' Jer. 9:23.
"O Lord, hast thou not taught me by thy word, by observation, and
by experience, that 'all flesh is grass, and all the glory of man as
the flower of grass?' Alas, how much have I gloried in even more
worthless and transient things; but thou hast put a worm in them,
which I hope has cut the roots, and they are in a dying state. O let
grace supplant them; let me now glory only in thee and thy blessed,
gracious, and well-ordered covenant. Do I understand and know thee,
that thou art the Lord which exerciseth righteousness,
loving-kindness, and judgment in the earth? Dare I say that I, worm
as I am, and a sinful worm, am the subject of this loving-kindness,
through the righteousness of Christ? Yes, I dare, by the constitution
of thine own covenant--the Covenant of the people, the Mediator, the
guarantee of the covenant of grace, which is all summed up in him.
"When thou givest Christ, thou givest freely all the blessings of
the new covenant.
"'And this is the record, That God hath given to us eternal life,
and this life is in his Son.'
"I believe the record, and do understand and know that thou art
the Lord, etc."
"FEBRUARY 4, 1813.
"My dear grandchildren J. and I. B---- waited on their beloved
pastor Dr. Romeyn, and professed their faith in the Lord Jesus Christ
as the Saviour of sinners and their Saviour, their desire to give
themselves to the Lord and to his church, and to be in all things
governed by it; to receive the seal of the covenant of grace,
commemorate the dying love of their Redeemer the next opportunity, and
swear allegiance to him over the symbols of his body and blood.
"Glory to God for this fresh manifestation of his mercy and grace
to sinners. Not unto us, O Lord God, but to thy name be the glory.
Thou hast made a covenant with thy chosen, and with believers in him;
and thou hast, by thy Holy Spirit, drawn them to take hold of this thy
own covenant, and to give themselves to thee to be made the subjects
of it. And now, O Lord, remember thy own covenant, and do as thou hast
said: Put thy laws in their minds, and write them in their hearts, and
be unto them a God, and they shall be unto thee a people; be merciful
to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities remember
no more. Give them understanding to know and believe thy laws,
memories to retain them, hearts to love them, consciences to recognize
them, courage to profess and power to put in practice. O, grant that
the whole habit and frame of their souls may be a table and transcript
of thy law. Blessed Redeemer, gather these lambs in thy arms and carry
them in thy bosom. O, seal them with the Holy Spirit of promise. They
look forward to that feast of love which thou didst institute in that
same night in which thou wast betrayed into the hands of sinners. If
it may please thee, manifest thyself to them as thou dost not unto the
world. Blessed Shepherd, call these lambs by name; may they know thy
voice, rejoice to hear it, and follow thee. In all the preparatory
exercises speak to their hearts and commune with them in secret. O
give them some love-tokens, which they may never forget; and make
thyself known to them in the breaking of bread. Exercise their parents
with thankfulness and gratitude, and thine aged servant, to whom, in
an especial manner, belong 'shame and confusion of face,' while she
stands amazed at the stately steps of thy free, sovereign mercy and
grace to her, and to her children according to the flesh. Husband of
the widow, Father of the fatherless, Shield of the stranger, glorify
thy name, magnify thy grace: all these thou hast been to me; give
these parents deep humility, if they have received grace to be more
faithful than I; yet thy holy eye has seen much shortcoming in them
also. Glory to thy name for the grace in which they stand, and that
thou hast enabled them to train up these children for thee. Oh, let
this be a heart-searching time with us all; humble us, and exalt thy
name, and magnify thy grace.
"O Lord, my covenant God, all my desire is before thee; is it not
that thou magnify thy grace in me and in my family? There are others,
Lord, and the residue of the Spirit is with thee. Put forth thy power
in the heart of I.G. S----, and compel him to come in. And Oh, my dear
I. S---- and her family; thou biddest me open my mouth wide. Lord, see,
there is much for thee to do. I praise thy name for what thou hast
done, and lay me at thy feet waiting for further manifestations of thy
mercy, thy sovereign mercy: I have no other plea.
"Work with us, for thy name's sake, and with J. M----, for whom
my worthless prayers have been presented to thee, as also a member of
this family. O Lord, he is now gone out into the world; he is no
longer under the control of man; bring him under thy gracious control;
call him into thy kingdom of grace, and make him a willing subject in
the day of thy power. Father, glorify thy name."
"APRIL, Sabbath, 1813.
"'Wherefore, laying aside all malice, and all guile, and
hypocrisies, and envyings, and all evil speaking, as new-born babes
desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby.' 2
Peter, 2:1, 2.
"Blessed Spirit, thou hast convinced me of the indwelling of
every one of these, and also of my helplessness of myself to make
successful war against them. But Oh, hast thou not led me to the
Captain of salvation for armor, for strength, for wisdom, for power;
and is not my dependence for success on thy promise that sin shall not
have dominion over me; that thy grace is sufficient for me; that as my
day, so shall my strength be?"
"MAY 5.
"'Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God,
through our Lord Jesus Christ.' Rom. 5:1.
"Blessed, blessed, blessed doctrine; by no other doctrine can I
be justified and saved. Christ the gift of God, and faith the gift of
God. All, all is of grace.
"I have shut my door, desiring to commune with God, but feeling
dull and lifeless, ask what shall I read? My Bible lies just at hand;
where shall I read? every part is good. I open and find it marked: 'My
prayer is unto thee, O Lord, in an acceptable time; O God, in the
multitude of thy mercy hear me, in the truth of thy salvation.' Psalm
69:13. In an acceptable time--when? 'To-day if ye will hear his
voice.' Nevertheless, I am continually with thee; thou holdest me by
my right hand, and ever upholdest me, in the time of need especially.
"'In the multitude of thy mercy hear me, in the truth of thy
salvation.' What is the truth of God's salvation? To be the property
of Christ by purchase, to have Christ made our property by the
Father's gift; to have the Holy Spirit sent into our hearts, to
enlighten our understandings, to govern our wills, to regulate our
affections and tempers, and to be in us 'a well of water springing up
into everlasting life.' Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, ours by gift and
by power; this. Oh, this contains all my asking for myself, for my
children and children's children, for nay friends and all dear to me.
Take us, O Lord, and in 'the truth of thy salvation' give thyself to
us; do all the needful for us, and glorify thy name."
"SABBATH.
"'A certain man made a great supper, and bade many, and sent his
servants at supper-time to say to them that were bidden, Come, for all
things are ready. And they all, with one consent, began to make
excuse.' Luke 14:16.
"Alas, such are our hearts, that we make idols even of the
blessings and bounties of providence; no room is left for Christ,
though without him every temporal good is under a curse, and our own
persons also.
"O Lord, bless the gracious invitations given to perishing
sinners this day; the pathetic and tender remonstrances of thy
faithful servant. O, may many of the poor, the maimed, the halt, the
blind, from the streets and lanes of the city, and may many from the
highways and hedges, be compelled to come, that thy house may be
filled. And Oh, my gracious Father, let these careless ones, who are
my flesh and blood, be among the number. Hear, O hear the prayers
offered this day for poor, self-deluded, self-destroying sinners;
awaken them, O Lord, and sweep away all lying refuges, and, gracious
God, settle and establish these halters. O bring to the birth, and
give life and love and zeal to make a full profession to the glory of
thy powerful grace, and to the joy and comfort of fellow-members. Let
thy kingdom come."
"GREENWICH, June 11, 1813.
"In my large light closet, within my airy, comfortable room; the
prospect from my windows such as I have ever delighted in, woods and
water, flower-garden and fruit-trees, and beautiful shrubs of various
kinds, all as much mine as if my own individual property by the laws
of the land in which I live; surrounded with books, and my children's
rich library at my command; enjoying rich gospel ordinances, under a
godly, gifted pastor, with pious, loving, sensible church-members; a
carriage to convey me, Sabbath and week-days, to places of worship;
children whose desire is that I may enjoy all these to the full
without care or trouble, they caring for me; with all these a large
measure of health, my eyes see my teachers, my ears hear their voice.
Why then these tears? Are they all for sin? Lord, search and see. Does
no wounded pride, no selfish hurt mix? Ah, Lord, thou knowest. I have
detected much, and mourn and weep on that account; but I fear there is
yet much lurking and working that I know not.
"I have set apart the remainder of this day for fasting and
humiliation on account of past sins which I already know, and for yet
further search into what I know not of at present. Lord, give me
heart-searching exercises. Glory, glory, glory to Father, Son, and
blessed Comforter, that I am forgiven; thy Spirit witnesseth with my
spirit that I am forgiven. Thou hast given me faith in the truth of
thy testimony, that the blood of Christ cleanseth from all sin--that
this is thy own provision for sinners--that Christ died for the
ungodly--that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us--that
Christ hath loved us, and given himself for us--that 'God so loved the
world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in
him should not perish, but have everlasting life.' These last words
came from thy own lips of flesh. Thou gift of God to a perishing
world, and to me, one of the most guilty in it, thou also saidst, 'He
that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life.' Thy Spirit
witnesseth with my spirit, that to me it is given on the behalf of
Christ to believe in him. Phil. 1:29. Therefore I have everlasting
life. Him who was slain and hanged on a tree, 'Him hath God exalted to
be a Prince and a Saviour, for to give repentance and remission of
sins.' From this exalted Prince I have repentance and forgiveness of
sin, and therefore I dare look at my sins: I look with grief, but not
with terror. Though forgiven, and though provision is made for
forgiveness, sin is still an evil and a bitter thing.
"This day is set apart for mourning. I desire to search, to know
more of my vileness, that I may mourn yet more; that while my heart is
wrung for my ingratitude, the Lord may make it the means of crucifying
my sins, especially that which so easily besets me, that he will give
me the prayer of faith that they may be forgiven, and that I may be
delivered from their power in my heart; that I may be clothed with
humility, so humble that nothing can hurt me, wearing my Redeemer's
yoke, leaning upon him who was 'meek and lowly,' that I may find rest
to my soul. Now, Lord, assist me for the rest of the day" and let
to-morrow be the beginning of days."
"Ten o'clock at night.
"The day is spent, and I look for the blessing. It has not been
spent so much in my usual way of retracing, confessing, and bewailing,
but with Owen on the subject of indwelling sin, of purification and
the, means appointed by God. The blood of Christ is the only effectual
means not only as atonement for sin, setting us free from
condemnation, but also for cleansing, as sprinkled on the conscience
by the Holy Ghost, and purging it from dead works. There are means in
which we are to exercise ourselves, depending on the Spirit for
benefit. We are to work in the faith that God works in us.
Mortification is one means, and though the mortification of the body
is perhaps one of the lowest, I think it is of divine appointment,
therefore not to be neglected. I have been also studying the death of
Christ, and his previous sufferings; the unbelief, the opposition,
contradiction, contempt, and cruel mocking which he endured; and his
meekness, patience, and submission under them; healing Malchus' ear,
praying for his murderers; that, as the children of Israel were healed
by looking to the brazen serpent, I may be healed by looking unto the
uplifted Jesus; the Spirit producing the effect. And as the woman with
the bloody issue was healed by a touch, exercising faith in the power
of Christ, so I may be healed by a look, exercising the same faith,
the Spirit producing the effect of conformity to his example, working
in me that meek and lowly spirit for which I have been praying. And
now, by grace communicated, I hope to watch over my spirit with more
success than formerly. I wait for thy salvation."
The following letter shows how Mrs. Graham persevered in her
endeavors to guide and benefit immortal souls as long as God gave her
powers to be employed.
To Mrs. J. W----.
"GREENWICH, 1814.
"Did not the dove, my dear J----, get into the ark? Yes, Noah put
out his hand and pulled her in; both are types of Christ. He is the
Ark of safety from the flood of wrath that must overwhelm unbelievers.
"I know not, my dear, the amount of that over which you mourn
with so much agony; I know not even if it be sinful, except in the
circumstances; you are conscious of sincerity, and you do not now wish
to draw back. We can, my dear, do nothing in our own strength; no, not
so much as think a good thought. To make any resolution without
dependence on God for strength to perform, is sinful; to make any vow
without a consciousness of our weakness and dependence on God for
strength to perform, is an aggravation of the evil.
"I suppose my J---- has sinned; what then? If any man say he has
no sin, he deceives himself, and the truth is not in him. And if you
suppose that your sin in this is greater than many other sins with
their aggravations, you judge wrong. I think that any one
_deliberate_ sin, wilfully committed with a knowledge that it is
sin, is greater than yours in such circumstances. You are bound by
your vow, and God will enable you to perform it. Turn, my dear, to the
second chapter of the Acts of the Apostles, where Peter preaches to
the very murderers of our blessed Saviour, and charges the guilt upon
them, verse twenty-second; and again in verse thirty-sixth, 'Therefore
let all the house of Israel know assuredly, that this same Jesus whom
ye crucified, God hath made both Lord and Christ; and when they heard
this, they were pricked in their hearts.' Read on, my dear; Peter
exhorts even them to repent and be baptized in the name of Christ, for
the remission of sins. I make no doubt but many have made vows in a
rash manner; but, so far as I know, you have vowed only to serve the
Lord; this you are bound to do with or without a vow; and if the Lord
makes this vow the means of keeping you watchful and humble, and firm
in avoiding what you have vowed against, it will, by his overruling
Spirit, prove a blessing.
"You 'do not know where to look for comfort!' To, Jesus, my dear;
not to yourself, nor to any creature. 'Look unto me and be ye saved,
all the ends of the earth: for I am God, and there is none else.' Isa.
45:22. 'O Israel, thou hast destroyed thyself, but in me is thy help.'
Hosea 13:9; chap. 14. Take a view, my dear, of the character of God in
his dealings with his perverse Israel, after they had made the molten
calf, and sinned otherwise grievously against God. He, at the
intercession of Moses, forgave their sin, and proclaimed that
wonderful name, which to this day is the encouragement of convicted
sinners, and mine in particular. And the Lord passed by him (Moses)
and proclaimed, 'The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious,
long-suffering, abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for
thousands, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin.' And how can
God do this, whose law is, as himself, immutable; and who adds 'that
he will by no means clear the guilty?' Exodus 34:6. Look now to the
fifty-third chapter of Isaiah, where you will find your Redeemer
standing in your stead. In the thirtieth chapter is another amazing
display of God's forgiveness. The prophet begins the chapter with,
'Woe to the rebellious children!' and lays grievous things to their
charge till you come to the eighteenth verse, where he says,
'Therefore will the Lord wait, that he may be gracious to you;
therefore will he be exalted, that he may have mercy upon you; for the
Lord is a God of judgment, blessed are all they that wait for him.'
Once more look at the proclamation, Jeremiah 3:12. God has provided a
sacrifice of sufficient value to atone for our most aggravated
transgressions, and a righteousness answerable to the uttermost extent
of his holy law. Both are made over to the sinner by free gift. 'He
hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin, that we might be made
the righteousness of God in him.' 2 Cor. 5:21. _In Him_--He, our
surety, having fulfilled all righteousness for us, _as_ our
surety and representative.
"You fear that it is not the hand of the Lord that is upon you. I
do think that it is, my J----. It is the peculiar office of the Spirit
to convince of sin, and I do think that he is at this time dealing
with your soul. But why look so much at your vow? you have sinned, my
J----, in heart, lip, and life. 'Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with
all thy heart.' O my J----, what prostituted affections, what misspent
time. While God says, 'Whether you eat or drink, or whatsoever you do,
do all to the glory of God,' what self-indulgence and self-will,
instead of self-denial. Listen to the voice of convictions, listen to
it as the voice of mercy, leading you to Christ the great propitiatory
sacrifice, 'the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world.'
"Go to Christ, my dear, as a sinner; tell him you commit your
sinful soul into his hands; say, Thou hast bid me look unto thee and
be saved. Saviour, I do look unto thee for salvation. Wash me in thy
blood, clothe me in thy righteousness, sanctify me by thy grace,
accept of me as thy pardoned, saved child; and be a surety for me for
good, that having vowed to thee that I would be thy servant, I may
perform my vow; furnish me with both will and power to devote myself
to thee every day of my life.
"Try, my dear, to rest on Christ; put your trust in him; if you
do he will not disappoint you; as your faith, so shall it be unto you.
Now faith is a saving grace; thereby we receive and rest upon Christ
for salvation, as he is offered to us in the gospel. Do as you have
said: wait his appointed time, in the use of means, till he manifest
himself to you. I am hurried for time to get this to town. Farewell. I
will pray for you.
"I. GRAHAM."
"1814.
"'A day of darkness and gloominess, a day of clouds and thick
darkness, as the morning spread upon the mountains.' Joel 2:2.
"Not in temporals, nor in the means of grace; every thing that
earth can afford is gathered into my present cup; it is full and runs
over with earthly good, and a large measure of health to enjoy it.
Moral temporals are also mine in no common degree, friendship, society
at my choice, and respectability in it. Rich means of grace within my
reach, my Bible, and books of every kind and great variety at my hand,
of instruction and of devotion. Mine eyes see my teachers, and my
judgment approves their doctrine as corresponding with that sure word
of testimony given me as the test of all human writings. Yet it is a
day of darkness and of gloom.
"'Who is among you that feareth the Lord, that obeyeth the voice
of his servant, that walketh in darkness and hath no light? Let him
trust in the name of the Lord and stay upon his God.' Isa. 50:10.
"To trust in the name of the Lord and to stay myself upon my God
is still my privilege, and though with little life and little comfort,
my experience. My mind is so desultory! My Bible, and helps derived
from men's deductions and experiences, seem useless; they are not
blessed as means to fix my heart; trifles of every sort pass and
repass often; while my eyes read the words, my mind is gone in a dream
on some other subject; my heart remains unimpressed, my mind
uninformed; the same in prayer, especially in secret and in the
family; less so in the sanctuary.
"I seem, as to apprehension, left to my own dark, dismal, carnal
self; naked faith on the finished work of my Redeemer is all that
supports me; and that as a bare preventive of fear and source of a
hope that 'I shall yet praise Him who is the health of my countenance
and my God.' I know his covenant stands fast, I have taken hold of it;
I do at this cold and stupid moment place my confidence in it. Christ
is God's covenant, God's gift to sinners; I believe it; he is the Lamb
of God, which taketh away the sin of the world; I believe it; I
believe on the Son for all the purposes for which God has sent him
into the world; therefore I have everlasting life; I believe the
record that God gave of his Son; that God hath given to me eternal
life, and this life is in his Son, not in me, but in union with him.
'He that hath the Son hath life; he that hath not the Son, hath
not life.' John 5.
"I thank thee, my God, that thou hast not left me to cast away my
confidence in Christ. I have life in him, and no life but as I have it
from him. Thou seest how it is with me. Thou art my reconciled Father
in Christ, but thou hast shut me out from thy presence. I do not enjoy
thee; my poor heart is tossed from trifle to trifle. It has been my
way through life to destroy myself, and thy way to deliver me. Thou
hast been very gracious to me in my old age. I have enjoyed much of
thy presence in thy sanctuary and in my private hours; and although
sin has dwelt and does dwell in me, I have enjoyed thy forgiving
grace, and have tasted thy love, far beyond what I have for weeks
past. 'Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my
thoughts; and see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the
way everlasting.' Show me wherefore thou contendest with me. Am I
living in the indulgence of any known wilful sin; or in the habitual
neglect of any known duty? Lord, 'it is not in man that walketh to
direct his steps.' I know I have been unthankful, unwatchful, idle;
alas, this is my ordinary course; but it is not the ordinary course of
my Lord God, merciful and gracious, to mark iniquity against me, but
to forgive me daily, to lead me to the blood of sprinkling, to give me
contrition, and to restore me to his favor by giving me 'joy and peace
in believing.' Help, Lord; give me heart-searching exercises. I read
thy word, I set about that to which thou callest me. I set apart this
day for fasting, but the gracious exercises are not in me. Come, O
come, and be with me. Exalted Prince, give repentance and remission;
in thy light let me see light.
"'Therefore now turn ye unto me with all your heart, with
fasting, with weeping and mourning; rend your heart and not your
garments, turn unto the Lord your God; for he is gracious and
merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of
the evil.' Joel 2:12. O, do I not know thee by this name; has it not
been thy name to me throughout this wide wilderness, 'pardoning
iniquity, transgression, and sin?' Thou hast prepared a prayer for me,
'Turn me, and I shall be turned, for thou art the Lord my God.' Jer.
31:18. I look to thy new covenant in the same chapter; it is all
promise, I can do nothing in it. Christ by thine own appointment
answers for my part; or rather, I have no part. I can render nothing
to the Lord for all his benefits to me. I will put forth the withered
hand to 'take the cup of salvation, and call on the name of the Lord.'
"Ten o'clock. The day is spent; I have confessed, and endeavored
to turn to the Lord with mourning, but with little sensibility.
"I attended meeting in the evening, heard two excellent
discourses on the priesthood of Christ, and joined in two prayers and
three hymns with more fixed attention than has been my attainment
lately; for this I thank thee, my God. Many have been the beginnings
of days and of months which thou hast afforded after backsliding. O
add this to the number. 'Hear my prayer, O Lord; give ear to my
supplications; in thy faithfulness answer me, and in thy
righteousness. Enter not into judgment with thy servant, for in thy
sight shall no man living be justified.' Psalm 143.
"My spirit is overwhelmed within me, my heart within me is
desolate. I stretch out my hands unto thee; my soul thirsteth after
thee in a thirsty land. Hear me speedily, O Lord; my spirit faileth;
hide not thy face from me, lest I be like unto those that go down into
the pit. Cause me to hear thy loving-kindness in the morning, for in
thee do I trust; cause me to know the way wherein I should walk, for I
lift up my soul unto thee. Deliver me, O Lord, from mine enemies; I
flee unto thee to hide me. Teach me to do thy will, for thou art my
God. Thy Spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness. Quicken
me, O Lord, for thy name's sake; for thy righteousness' sake bring my
soul out of trouble. I wait for thy salvation.
This heart my Jesus bought with blood,
It is his honest claim;
O seize it, fix it, Saviour God,
To give it is my aim.
Take full possession of this heart,
And here set up thy throne;
Command each idol to depart,
And make it all thine own.
O dare I not to thee appeal,
That 'tis my first desire,
That on this heart thou stamp thy seal
And grave it with love's fire?
To fix this heart to stray no more
I e'en would quit the clay;
Would hasten on to Jordan's shore,
And plough the watery way.
Nor fear nor dread my soul should move,
With Jesus in my heart;
Each passion swallowed up in love,
I'd court the friendly dart.
The resurrection and the life
In death itself he'll prove,
And while he closes mortal strife,
Breathe his own life of love.
Then boast not, monster, of thy sting,
Nor of thy victory, grave;
In th' arms of God's anointed King
I dare thy fiercest brave.
CHAPTER XII.
CLOSING LABORS FOR THE POOR--
SICKNESS AND DEATH.
During the last two years of her life, Mrs. Graham found her
strength inadequate to so extensive a course of visiting the poor as
formerly; there were some distressed families, however, that
experienced her kind attentions to the last. She would occasionally
accompany the Rev. Mr. Stanford on his visits to the state-prison,
hospital, and to the Magdalen house. This gentleman was the stated
preacher employed by "the Society for the Support of the Gospel among
the Poor," and devoted his time to preaching in the almshouse,
hospital, state-prison, debtors'-prison, etc., with great assiduity
and acceptance.
Mrs. Graham now spent much of her time in her room, devoted to
meditation, prayer, and reading the Scriptures; she seemed to be
weaning from earth and preparing for heaven. Prayer was that sweet
breath of her soul which brought stability to her life. Genuine
humility was obvious in all her sentiments and deportment. Religious
friends prized her conversation, counsel, and friendship; sometimes
they would venture on a compliment to her superior attainments, but
always experienced a decided rebuke. To her friend Colonel L----, who
expressed a wish to be such a character as she was, she quickly
replied with an air of mingled pleasantry and censure, "Get thee
behind me, Satan." To a female friend who said, "If I were only sure
at last of being admitted to a place at your feet I should feel
happy." "Hush, hush," replied Mrs. Graham, "There is ONE SAVIOUR."
Thus she was always careful to give her divine Redeemer the whole
glory of her salvation.
This example of humility, self-denial, and sensibility to the
imperfection of her conduct, is the more to be valued, as it is so
difficult to be followed. Flattery is too commonly practised; and
there is no sufficient guard against its dangerous consequences,
except a constant and humbling recognition of the spirituality of the
law of God, and our lamentable deficiency in fulfilling it. Pride was
not made for man: "I have seen an end of all perfection," said the
Psalmist, "but thy commandment is exceeding broad." It was by
cherishing this sentiment, by studying her Bible, by searching her
heart and its motives, and above all, by grace accorded of heaven in
answer to her prayers, that Mrs. Graham was enabled to maintain such
meekness of spirit, such an uniformity of Christian character
throughout her life. May all who read her history be directed to the
same sources of true peace and genuine happiness.
In the spring of 1814 she was requested to unite with some ladies
in forming a society for the promotion of industry among the poor.
This was the last act in which she appeared before the public. A
petition, signed by about thirty ladies, was presented to the
corporation of New York, praying that they would assign them a
building in which work might be prepared and given out to the
industrious poor, who being paid for their labor, might be saved the
necessity of begging, and at the same time cherish habits of industry
and self-respect. The corporation having returned a favorable answer,
and provided a house, a meeting of the Society was held, and Mrs.
Graham once more was called to the chair. It was the last time she was
to preside at the formation of a new society. Her articulation, once
strong and clear, was now observed to have become more feeble. The
ladies present listened to her with affectionate attention; her voice
broke upon the ear as a pleasant sound that was passing away. She
consented to have her name inserted on the list of managers, and to
give what assistance her age would permit in forwarding so beneficent
a work. Although it pleased God that she should cease from her labors
before the House of Industry was opened, yet the work was carried on
by others and prospered. Between four and five hundred women were
employed and paid during the following winter. The corporation
declared in strong terms their approbation of the result, and enlarged
their donation, with a view to promote the same undertaking for the
succeeding winter.
In the month of May, 1814, a report was received from Mr. Stephen
Prust of Bristol, in England, of the Society for establishing
Adult-schools. Mrs. Graham was so delighted with a perusal of it, as
immediately to undertake the formation of such a school in the village
of Greenwich. She called on the young people who were at work in some
neighboring manufactories, and requested them to attend her for this
purpose every Sabbath morning at eight o'clock. This was kept up after
her decease as a Sunday-school, and consisted of nearly eighty
scholars. She was translated from this work of faith on earth, to
engage in the sublimer work of praise in heaven.
For some weeks previous to her last illness she was favored with
unusual health and much enjoyment of religion; she appeared to have
sweet exercises and communion in attending on all God's ordinances and
appointed means of grace. She was also greatly refreshed in spirit by
the success of Missionary and Bible Societies, and used to speak with
much affection of Mr. Gordon, Mr. Lee, Mr. May, and Dr. Morrison, with
whom she had been acquainted when in New York, on their way to
missionary stations in India and China.
Mrs. Graham was very partial to the works of Dr. John Owen, Rev.
William Romaine, and Rev. John Newton, and read them with pleasure and
profit. One day she remarked to Mr. B----, that she preferred the
ancient writers on theology to the modern, because they dealt more in
italics. "Dear mother," he replied, "what religion can there be in
italics?" "You know," said she, "that old writers expected credit for
the doctrines they taught, by proving them from the word of God to be
correct: they inserted the scripture passages in italics, and their
works have been sometimes one-half in italics. Modern writers on
theology, on the contrary, give us a long train of reasoning to
persuade us to their opinions, but very little in italics." This
remark of hers has great force, and deserves the serious attention of
those who write and those who read on theological subjects.
On the two Sabbaths preceding her last illness she joined in
communion at the Lord's table. On the 10th of July, 1814, at
Greenwich, and on the 17th at her own church in Cedar-street. On each
week preceding these seasons she attended three evenings on religious
exercises; on Thursdays at the Orphan Asylum, on Friday evenings the
preparation sermons, and on Saturday evenings at the prayer-meetings.
She appeared lively, and expressed comfort in those religious seasons,
and continued actively useful until the very day on which her
illness commenced.
On the morning of the 17th she attended the Sabbath-school with
her daughter and grandchildren. Thus the Lord was pleased to direct
that she should lead her children's children into the walks of
usefulness before she took her flight to heaven, and impose a pleasing
obligation on them that they should follow her steps. Of the same date
is the last meditation in her diary.
"COMMUNION SABBATH, July 17, 1814.
"'Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him
not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:
receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls,' 1
Peter, 1:8, 9.
"I had requested to be brought to my Lord's banqueting-house, and
to be feasted with love this day. I ate the bread and drank the wine,
in the faith that I ate the flesh and drank the blood of the Son of
man, and dwelt in him and he in me. Took a close view of my familiar
friend Death, accompanied with the presence of my Saviour, _his
sensible presence_. I cannot look at it without this; it is my only
petition concerning it. I have had desires relative to certain
circumstances, but they are nearly gone. It is my sincere desire that
God may be glorified, and he knows best how and by what circumstances.
I retain my one petition,
"Only to me thy countenance show,
I ask no more the Jordan through."
Thus she arose from her Master's table, was called to gird on her
armor for a combat with the king of terrors, and came off more than
conqueror, through Him who loved her.
On Monday she appeared in perfect health, and visited and gave
religious instruction to the orphans in the asylum.
On Tuesday, the 19th of July, she complained of not feeling well,
and kept her room; on Thursday her disorder proved to be a
cholera-morbus, and her children sent for a physician. She thought
this attack was slighter than in former seasons. On Saturday, however,
she requested that Mrs. Chrystie might be sent for; this alarmed Mrs.
B----, knowing there existed an understanding between those two
friends, that one should attend the dying-bed of the other, Mrs.
Chrystie was a very dear friend of Mrs. Graham. For upwards of
twenty-four years they had loved each other, feeling reciprocal
sympathy in their joys and their sorrows; the hope of faith was the
consolation of both, and oftentimes it had been their delightful
employment to interchange their expressions of affection towards Him
whom having not seen, they loved, and in whom, though they saw him
not, yet believing on him, they rejoiced with joy unspeakable and full
of glory. On Mrs. Chrystie's entering the chamber of her friend, Mrs.
Graham welcomed her with a sweet expressive smile, seeming to say, "I
am going to get the start of you, I am called home before you; it will
be your office to fulfil our engagement." When she sat by her bedside,
Mrs. Graham said, "Your face is very pleasant to me, my friend."
During Saturday night, a lethargy appeared to be overpowering her
frame. On Sabbath morning she was disposed to constant slumber;
observing Mr. B---- looking at her with agitation, she was roused from
her heaviness, and stretching her arms towards him and embracing him,
she said, "My dear, dear son, I am going to leave you; I am going to
my Saviour." "I know," he replied, "that when you do go from us, it
will be to the Saviour; but, my dear mother, it may not be the Lord's
time now to call you to himself." "Yes," said she, "now is the time;
and Oh, I could weep for sin." Her words were accompanied with her
tears. "Have you any doubts, then, my dear friend?" asked Mrs.
Chrystie. "Oh no," replied Mrs. Graham; and looking at Mr. and Mrs.
B---- as they wept, "My dear children, I have no more doubt of going
to my Saviour, than if I were already in his arms; my guilt is all
transferred; he has cancelled all I owed. Yet I could weep for sins
against so good a God: it seems to me as if there must be weeping even
in heaven for sin."
After this she entered into conversation with her friends,
mentioning portions of scripture and favorite hymns which had been
subjects of much comfort and joy to her. Some of these she had
transcribed into a little book, calling them her "victuals" prepared
for crossing over Jordan; she committed them to memory, and often
called them to remembrance as her songs in the night when sleep had
deserted her. She then got Mr. B---- to read to her some of these
portions, especially the eighty-second hymn of Newton's third book:
"Let us love, and sing, and wonder;
Let us praise the Saviour's name:
He has hushed the law's loud thunder,
He has quenched mount Sinai's flame:
He has washed us with his blood,
He has brought us nigh to God," etc.
Mrs. Graham then fell asleep, nor did she awaken until the voice
of the Rev. Dr. Mason roused her. They had a very affectionate
interview, which he has partly described in the excellent sermon he
delivered after her decease. She expressed to him her hope as founded
altogether on the redemption that is in Jesus Christ: were she left to
depend on the merit of the best action she had ever performed, that
would be only a source of despair. She repeated to him, as her view of
salvation, the fourth verse of the same hymn:
"Let us wonder: grace and justice
Join, and point at mercy's store;
When, through grace, in Christ our trust is,
Justice smiles and asks no more;
He who washed us with his blood,
Has secured our way to God."
Having asked Dr. Mason to pray with her, he inquired
if there was any particular request she had to
make of God by him; she replied, that God would
direct: then as he kneeled, she put up her hands, and
raising her eyes towards heaven, breathed this short
but expressive petition, "Lord, lead thy servant in
prayer."
After Dr. Mason had taken his leave, she again fell into a deep
sleep. Her physicians still expressed a hope of her recovery, as her
pulse was regular and the violence of her disease had abated. One of
them, however, declared his opinion that his poor drugs would prove of
little avail against her own ardent prayers to depart and be with
Christ, which was far better for her than a return to a dying world.
On Monday the Rev. Mr. Rowan prayed with her, and to him she
expressed also the tranquillity of her mind, and the steadfastness of
her hope, through Christ, of eternal felicity.
Her lethargy increased; at intervals from sleep she would
occasionally assure her daughter, Mrs. B----, that all was well; and
when she could rouse herself only to say one word at a time, that one
word, accompanied with a smile, was, "Peace." From her there was a
peculiar emphasis in this expression of the state of her mind: "Peace
I leave with you, my peace I give unto you," had been a favorite
portion of scripture with her, and a promise, the fulfilment of which
was her earnest prayer to the God who made it. She also occasionally
asked Mr. B---- to pray with her, even when she could only articulate,
as she looked at him, "Pray." She was now surrounded by many of her
dear Christian friends, who watched her dying-bed with affection and
solicitude. On Tuesday afternoon she slept with little intermission.
This, said Dr. Mason, may be truly called "falling asleep in Jesus."
It was remarked by those who attended her, that all terror was taken
away, and that death seemed here as an entrance into life. Her
countenance was placid, and looked younger than before her illness.
At a quarter past twelve o'clock, being the morning of the 27th
of July, 1814, her spirit gently winged its flight from a mansion of
clay to the realms of glory, while around the precious remnant of
earth her family and friends stood weeping, yet elevated by the scene
they were witnessing. After a silence of many minutes, they kneeled by
her bed, adored the goodness and the grace of God towards his departed
child, and implored the divine blessing on both the branches of her
family, as well as on all the Israel of God.
Thus she departed in peace, not trusting in her wisdom or virtue,
like the philosophers of Greece and Rome; not even like Addison,
calling on the profligate to see a good man die; but like Howard,
afraid that her good works might have a wrong place in the estimate of
her hope, her chief glory was that of "a sinner saved by grace."*
*This was Howard's epitaph, dictated by himself.
After such examples, who will dare to charge the doctrines of the
cross of Christ with licentiousness? Here are two instances of
persons, to whose good works the world have cheerfully borne
testimony, who lived and died in the profession of these doctrines. It
was faith that first purified their hearts, and so the stream of
action from these fountains became pure also. Had not Christ died and
risen again, all the powers of man could never have produced such
lives of benevolence, nor a death so full of contrition, yet so
embalmed with hope. Hallelujah, "unto Him who loved us, and washed us
from our sins in his own blood, and hath made us kings and priests
unto God and his Father: to him be glory and dominion, for ever and
ever. Amen."
At the next weekly prayer-meeting which she had usually attended,
the circumstances of her death were made subjects of improvement. On
the 16th of July she was a worshipper with her brethren and sisters
there, and on the evening of the 30th they were called to consider her
by faith as in the immediate presence of her God, among "the spirits
of the just made perfect." The services of that evening were closed
with the following hymn from Dobell's collection, which is beautifully
descriptive of her happy change:
"'Tis finished! the conflict is past,
The heaven-born spirit is fled;
Her wish is accomplished at last,
And now she's entombed with the dead.
The months of affliction are o'er,
The days and the nights of distress,
We see her in anguish no more--
She's gained her happy release.
No sickness, or sorrow, or pain,
Shall ever disquiet her now;
For death to her spirit was gain,
Since Christ was her life when below.
Her soul has now taken its flight
To mansions of glory above,
To mingle with angels of light,
And dwell in the kingdom of love.
The victory now is obtained;
She's gone her dear Saviour to see;
Her wishes she fully has gained--
She's now where she longed to be.
The coffin, the shroud, and the grave
To her were no objects of dread;
On Him who is mighty to save,
Her soul was with confidence stayed.
Then let us forbear to complain,
That she is now gone from our sight;
We soon shall behold her again,
With new and redoubled delight."
Mrs. Graham's death created a strong sensation in the public
mind. Magistrates of the city were careful to express their sense of
the public loss sustained, and many charitable institutions paid
affectionate tributes to her memory. Several clergymen also made her
death the subject of their discourses, among whom was her beloved
pastor, Dr. JOHN M. MASON, who, on Sabbath evening, Aug. 14, delivered
the well-known powerful sermon, "CHRISTIAN MOURNING," from 1 Thess.
4:13, 14: "I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning
them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have
no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so
them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him."
Contrasting the consolations afforded to the Christian with the
darkness and doubt of the pagan or infidel; dwelling on the
Christian's death as "sleeping in Jesus;" his immediate entrance into
bliss, and his glorious resurrection and reigning with Christ in the
judgment, he thus proceeds:
"In this faith the apostles labored and the martyrs bled. Ages
have elapsed and it is still the same. It is not a distant wonder; not
a brilliant vision; but a solid and present reality, under the power
of which at this moment, while the words are on my lips, Christians,
in various parts of the world, are closing their eyes to sleep in
Jesus. It has come home to our own business and bosoms. It has chosen
our houses to be the scene of its miracles. But rarely does it fall to
the lot of human eyes to witness so high a display of its value and
virtue, as was witnessed in that blessed woman whose entrance into the
joy of her Lord has occasioned our assembling this evening.
"As we are commanded to be followers of them who through faith
and patience inherit the promises, we should have their example before
us, that we may learn to imbibe their spirit, to imitate their graces,
and be ready for their reward. With this view, permit me to lay before
you some brief recollections of our deceased friend.
"It is not my intention to relate the history of her life. That
will be a proper task for biography. I design merely to state a few
leading facts, and to sketch such outlines of character as may show to
those who knew her not, what manner of person she was in all holy
conversation and godliness. Those who knew her best require no such
remembrancer, and will be able, from their own observation, to supply
its defects.
"ISABELLA MARSHALL, known to us as Mrs. GRAHAM, received from
nature qualities which, in circumstances favorable to their
development, do not allow their possessor to pass through life
unnoticed and inefficient.
"An intellect strong, prompt, and inquisitive--a temper open,
generous, cheerful, ardent--a heart replete with tenderness, and alive
to every social affection and every benevolent impulse--a spirit at
once enterprising and persevering--the whole crowned with that rare
and inestimable endowment, good sense--were materials which required
only skilful management to fit her for adorning and dignifying any
female station. With that sort of cultivation which the world most
admires, and those opportunities which attend upon rank and fortune,
she might have shone in the circles of the great without forfeiting
the esteem of the good. Or had her lot fallen among the literary
unbelievers of the continent, she might have figured in the sphere of
the Voltaires, the Duffauds, and the other _esprits forts_ of
Paris. She might have been as gay in public, as dismal in private, and
as wretched in her end, as any of the most distinguished among them
for their wit and their woe. But God had destined her for other scenes
and services--scenes from which greatness turns away appalled, and
services which all the cohorts of infidel wit are unable to perform.
She was to be prepared by poverty, bereavement, and grief, to pity and
to succor the poor, the bereaved, and the grieving. The sorrows of
widowhood were to teach her the heart of the widow--her babes,
deprived of their father, to open the springs of her compassion to the
fatherless and orphan--and the consolations of God, her refuge and
strength, her very present help in trouble, to make her a daughter
of consolation to them who were walking in the valley of the shadow
of death.
"To train her betimes for the future dispensations of his
providence, the Lord touched the heart of this chosen vessel in her
early youth. The spirit of prayer sanctified her infant lips, and
taught her, as far back as her memory could go, to pour out her heart
before God. She had not reached her eleventh year when she selected a
bush in the retirement of the field, and there devoted herself to her
God by faith in the Redeemer. The incidents of her education,
thoughtless companions, the love of dress, and the dancing-school, as
she has herself recorded, chilled for a while the warmth of her piety,
and robbed her bosom of its peace. But her gracious Lord revisited her
with his mercy, and bound her to himself in an everlasting covenant,
which she sealed at his own table about the seventeenth year of
her age.
"Having married, a few years after, Dr. John Graham, surgeon to
the 60th British regiment, she accompanied him first to Montreal, and
shortly after to Fort Niagara. Here, during four years of temporal
prosperity, she had no opportunity, even for once, of entering the
habitation of God's house, or hearing the sound of his gospel.
Secluded from the waters of the sanctuary and all the public means of
growth in grace, her religion began to languish and its leaf to droop.
But the root was perennial--it was of the seed of God, which liveth
and abideth for ever. The Sabbath was still to her the sign of his
covenant. On that day of rest, with her Bible in her hand, she used to
wander through the woods, renew her self-dedication, and pour out her
prayer for the salvation of her husband and her children. He who
'dwelleth not in temples made with hands,' heard her cry from the
wilds of Niagara, and strengthened her with strength in her soul.
"By one of those vicissitudes which checker military life, the
regiment was ordered to the island of Antigua in the West Indies. Here
she met with that exquisite enjoyment to which she had been long a
stranger--the communion of kindred spirits in the love of Christ: and
soon did she need all the soothing and support which it is fitted to
administer; for in a very short time the husband of her youth, the
object of her most devoted affection, her sole earthly stay, was taken
from her by death. The stroke was, indeed, mitigated by the sweet
assurance that he slept in Jesus. But a heart like hers, convulsed by
a review of the past and anticipation of the future, would have burst
with agony, had she not known how to pour its sorrows into the bosom
of her heavenly Father. Trials which beat sense and reason to the
ground, raise up the faith of the Christian, and draw her closer to
her God. O, how divine to have him as the rock of our rest when every
earthly reliance is a broken reed.
"Bowing to his mysterious dispensation, and committing herself to
his protection as the Father of the fatherless and the Husband of the
widow, she returns with her charge to her native land, to contract
alliance with penury, and to live by faith for her daily bread. That
same grace under whose teaching she knew how to abound, taught her
also how to suffer need. With a dignity which belongs only to them who
have treasure in heaven, she descended to her humble cot, employment,
and fare. But her humility, according to the Scripture, was the
forerunner of her advancement. The light of her virtues shone
brightest in her obscurity, and pointed her way to the confidential
trust of forming the minds and manners of young females of different
ranks in the metropolis of Scotland. Here, respected by the great and
beloved by the good; in sacred intimacy with 'devout and honorable
women,' and the friendship of men who were in truth servants of the
most high God, she continued in the successful discharge of her duties
till Providence conducted her to our shores.
"She long had a predilection for America, as a land in which,
according to her favorite opinion, the church of Christ is signally to
flourish. Here she wished to end her days and leave her children. And
we shall remember with gratitude, that in granting her wish, God cast
her lot with ourselves. Twenty-five years ago she opened in this city
a school for the education of young ladies, the benefits of which have
been strongly felt, and will be long felt hereafter, in different and
distant parts of our country. Evidently devoted to the welfare of her
pupils--attentive to their peculiarities of character--happy in
discovering the best avenue of approach to their minds--possessing in
a high degree the talent of simplifying her instruction and varying
its form, she succeeded in that most difficult part of a teacher's
work, the inducing youth to take an interest in their own improvement,
and to educate themselves by exerting their own faculties.
"In governing her little empire, she acted upon those principles
which are the basis of all good government, on every scale and under
every modification--to be reasonable, to be firm, and to be uniform.
Her authority was both tempered and strengthened by condescension. It
commanded respect while it conciliated affection. Her word was law,
but it was the law of kindness. It spoke to the conscience, but it
spoke to the heart; and obedience bowed with the knee of love. She did
not, however, imagine her work to be perfected in fitting her élèves
for duties and elegance of life. Never did she forget their immortal
nature. Utterly devoid of sectarian narrowness, she labored to infuse
into their minds those vital principles of evangelical piety which
form the common distinction of the disciples of Christ, the peculiar
glory of the female name, and the surest pledge of domestic bliss. Her
voice, her example, her prayers concurred in recommending that pure
and undefiled religion without which no human being shall see the
Lord. Shall we wonder that her scholars should be tenderly attached to
such a preceptress; that they should leave her with their tears and
their blessing; that they should carry an indelible remembrance of her
into the bosom of their families; that the reverence of pupils should
ripen with their years into the affection of friends; and that there
should be among them, at this day, many a wife who is a crown to her
husband, and many a mother who is a blessing to her children, and who
owes, in a great degree, the felicity of her character to the
impressions, the principles, and the habits which she received while
under the maternal tuition of Mrs. GRAHAM?
"Admonished at length by the infirmities of age, and importuned
by her friends, this venerable matron retired to private life. But it
was impossible for her to be idle. Her leisure only gave a new
direction to her activity. With no less alacrity than she had
displayed in the education of youth, did she now embark in the relief
of misery. Her benevolence was unbounded, but it was discreet. There
are charities which increase the wretchedness they are designed to
diminish; which, from some fatal defect in their application, bribe to
iniquity while they are relieving want, and make food and raiment and
clothing to warm into life the most poisonous seeds of vice. But the
charities of our departed friend were of another order. They selected
the fittest objects--the widow, the fatherless, the orphan, the
untaught child, and the ignorant adult. They combined intellectual and
moral benefit with the communication of physical comfort.
"In her house originated the Society for the Relief of Poor
Widows with Small Children. Large, indeed, is this branch of the
family of affliction, and largely did it share in her sympathy and
succor. When at the head of this noble association, she made it her
business to see with her own eyes the objects of their care; and to
give, by her personal presence and efforts, the strongest impulse to
their humane system. From morning till night has she gone from abode
to abode of these destitute, who are too commonly unpitied by the
great, despised by the proud, and forgotten by the gay. She has gone
to sit beside them on their humble seat, hearing their simple and
sorrowful story, sharing their homely meal--ascertaining the condition
of their children--stirring them up to diligence, to economy, to
neatness, to order--putting them into the way of obtaining suitable
employment for themselves and suitable places for their
children--distributing among them the word of God, and tracts
calculated to familiarize its first principles to their
understanding--cherishing them in sickness, admonishing them in
health--instructing, reproving, exhorting, consoling--sanctifying the
whole with fervent prayer. Many a sobbing heart and streaming eye is
this evening embalming her memory in the house of the widow.
"Little if any less is the debt due to her from that invaluable
charity, the Orphan Asylum. It speaks its own praise, and that praise
is hers. Scores of orphans redeemed from filth, from ignorance, from
wretchedness, from crime--clothed, fed, instructed--trained in
cleanliness to habits of industry--early imbued with the knowledge and
fear of God--gradually preparing for respectability, usefulness, and
happiness, is a spectacle for angels. Their infantine gayety, their
healthful sport, their cherub faces, mark the contrast between their
present and former condition; and recall very tenderly the scenes in
which they used to cluster round their patron-mother, hang on her
gracious words, and receive her benediction.
"Brethren, I am not dealing in romance, but in sober fact. The
night would be too short for a full enumeration of her worthy deeds.
Suffice it to say that they ended but with her life. The Sabbath
previous to her last sickness occupied her with a recent
institution--a Sunday-school for ignorant adults; and the evening
preceding the touch of death, found her at the side of a faithful
domestic, administering consolation to his wounded spirit.
"Such active benevolence could hardly be detected in company with
a niggardly temper. Wishes which cost nothing; pity which expires on
the lips; be ye warmed and be ye clothed, from a cold heart and an
unyielding gripe, never imprinted their disgraceful brand upon
Isabella Graham. What she urged upon others she exemplified in
herself. She kept a purse for God. Here, in obedience to his command,
she deposited the first-fruits of all her increase; and they were
sacred to his service, as in his providence he should call for them.
No shuffling pretences, no pitiful evasions, when a fair demand was
made upon the hallowed store; and no frigid affectation in determining
the quality of the demand. A sense of duty was the prompter, candor
the interpreter, and good sense the judge. Her disbursements were
proportioned to the value of the object, and were ready at a moment's
warning, to the very last farthing.* How pungent a reproof to those
ladies of opulence and fashion who sacrifice so largely to their
dissipation or their vanity, that they have nothing left for mouths
without food, and limbs without raiment! How far does it throw back
into the shade those men of prosperous enterprise and gilded state
who, in the hope of some additional lucre, have thousands and ten
thousands at their beck; but who, when asked for decent contributions
to what they themselves acknowledge to be all-important, turn away
with this hollow excuse, 'I cannot afford it.' Above all, how should
her example redden the faces of many who profess to belong to Christ;
to have received gratuitously from him what he procured for them at
the expense of his own blood, 'an inheritance incorruptible and
undefiled, and that fadeth not away;' and yet, in the midst of
abundance which he has lavished upon them, when the question is about
relieving his suffering members, or promoting the glory of his
kingdom, are sour, reluctant, mean. Are these the Christians? Can it
be that they have committed their bodies, their souls, their eternal
hope, to a Saviour whose thousand promises on this very point of
honoring him with their substance, have less influence upon their
hearts and their hands than the word of any honest man? Remember the
deceased, and hang your heads--remember her, and tremble; remember
her, and bring forth fruits meet for repentance.
*The author knew her, when in moderate circumstances, to give,
unsolicited, _fifty pounds at once_ out of that sacred purse to
a single most worthy purpose.
"In that charity, also, which far surpasses mere almsgiving,
however liberal, the charity of the gospel, our friend was
conspicuous. The love of God shed abroad in her own heart by the Holy
Ghost, drew forth her love to his people wherever she found them.
Assuredly she had in herself this witness of her having 'passed from
death unto life,' that she loved the brethren. The epistle, written
not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God; not in tables of
stone, but in fleshly tables of the heart; yet read and known of all
men: that is, the Christian temper manifested by a Christian
conversation, was to her the best letter of recommendation. Unwavering
in her own faith as to the peculiar doctrines of the gospel, she could
nevertheless extend love without dissimulation, and the very bowels of
Christian fellowship, to others who, whatever might be their mistakes,
their infirmities, or their differences in smaller matters, agreed in
the great Christian essential of acceptance in the Beloved. Deeply did
she deplore the conceit, the bigotry, and the bitterness of sect. O
that her spirit were more prevalent in the churches; that we could
labor to abase our crown of pride; to offer up with one consent upon
the altar of evangelical charity, those petty jealousies, animosities,
and strifes which are our common reproach; and walk together as
children of the same Father, brethren of the same Redeemer, and heirs
of the same salvation.
"To these admirable traits of character were added great
tenderness of conscience and a spirit of prayer. Her religion, not
contented to justify her before men, habitually aimed at pleasing God,
who looketh upon the heart. It was not enough for her to persuade
herself that a thing might be right. Before venturing upon it, she
studied to reduce the question of right to a clear certainty. How
cautious and scrupulous and jealous of herself she was in this matter,
they best can tell who saw her in the shade of retirement as well as
in the sunshine of public observation. Perhaps it is not going too far
to say, that her least guarded moments would, in others, have been
marked for circumspection. At the same time her vigilance had nothing
austere, gloomy, constrained, or censorious--nothing to repress the
cheerfulness of social intercourse, or to excite in others, even the
thoughtless, a dread of merciless criticism after they should retire.
It was sanctified nature moving gracefully in its own element. And
with respect to the character and feelings of her neighbors, she was
too full of Christian kindness not to keep her tongue from evil and
her lips from speaking guile.
"These virtues and graces were maintained and invigorated by her
habit of prayer. With the 'new and living way into the holiest by the
blood of Jesus,' she was intimately familiar. Thither the Spirit of
grace and supplication daily conducted her; there taught her to pray,
and in praying to believe, and in believing to have 'fellowship with
the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ.' She knew her God as the God
that heareth prayer; and could attest that 'blessed is she that
believeth, for there shall be a performance of those things which were
told her from the Lord.'
"Under such influence her course could not but be correct, and
her steps well ordered. The 'secret of the Lord is with them that fear
him; and he will show them his covenant, he will guide them in
judgment.' Thus he did with his handmaid whom he hath called home.
Wherever she was, and in whatever circumstances, she remembered the
guide of her youth, who, according to His promise, never left her, nor
forsook her; but continued His gracious presence with her when she was
old and gray-headed.
"You may perhaps imagine, that with such direction and support it
was impossible she should see trouble. Nay, but waters of a full cup
were wrung out to her. She often ate the bread of sorrow steeped in
wormwood and gall. Her heavenly Father showed her great and sore
adversities; that he might try her as silver is tried, and bring her
forth from the furnace purified seven times. It was during these
refining processes that she found the worth of being a Christian.
Though her way was planted with thorns and watered with her tears, yet
the candle of the Lord shone upon her head; and from step to step she
had reason to cry, Hitherto hath Jehovah helped.
"In a word, like Enoch, she walked with God; like Abraham, she
staggered not at his promise through unbelief; like Jacob, she
wrestled with the angel and prevailed; like Moses, endured as seeing
Him who is invisible; like Paul, finished her course with joy. Blessed
were the eyes of the preacher, for they saw the victory of her faith;
and his ears, for they heard her song of salvation. 'You can say with
the apostle, I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is
able to keep that which I have committed unto him?' 'O yes, but I
cannot say the other, I have fought a good fight; I must say, I have
fought a poor fight, I have run a poor race; but Christ fought for me.
Christ ran with me, and through Christ I hope to win,' 'But you have
no fear, no doubts, about your going to be with Christ?' 'O no, not a
doubt; I am as sure of that as if I were already in my Saviour's
arms.' It was her final conversation with children of the dust. The
next day, when her flesh and her heart had so far failed that she was
incapable of uttering a sentence, she still proved her God to be the
strength of her heart, and knew him to be her portion for ever. I said
to her, 'It is peace,' She opened her eyes, smiled, closed them again,
bowed her dying head, and breathed out, 'Peace,' It was her last word
on this side heaven. The attending spirits caught it from her lips,
and brought to her the next day permission to sleep in Jesus.
"From this review allow me to urge the value of private exertions
in promoting general good.
"In pursuing his gratifications, man is apt to look upon himself
as a being of great importance; in fulfilling his duties, to account
himself as nothing. Both are extravagances which it will be his wisdom
and happiness to correct. He is neither supreme in worth nor useless
in action. Let him not say, 'I am but one; my voice will be drowned in
the universal din; my weight is lighter than a feather in the public
scale. It is better for me to mind my own affairs, and leave these
higher attempts to more competent hands.' This is the language, not of
reason and modesty, but of sloth, of selfishness, and of pride. The
amount of it is, 'I cannot do every thing, therefore I will do
nothing,' But you can do much. Act well your part according to your
faculties, your station, and your means. The result will be honorable
to yourself, delightful to your friends, and beneficial to the world.
I advise not to gigantic aims, to enormous enterprise. The world has
seen but one Newton, and one Howard. Nothing is required of you but to
make the most of the opportunities within your reach.
"Recall the example of Mrs. Graham. Here was a woman, a widow, a
stranger in a strange land, without fortune, with no friends but such
as her letters of introduction and her worth should acquire, and with
a family of daughters dependent upon her for their subsistence. Surely
if any one has a clear title of immunity from the obligation to carry
her cares beyond the domestic circle, it is this widow, it is this
stranger. Yet within a few years this stranger, this widow, with no
means but her excellent sense, her benevolent heart, and her
persevering will to do good, awakens the charities of a populous city,
and gives to them an impulse, a direction, and an efficacy unknown
before.
"What might not be done by men--by men of talent, of standing, of
wealth, of leisure? How speedily, under their well-directed
beneficence, might a whole country change its physical, intellectual,
and moral aspect; and assume, comparatively speaking, the face of
another Eden, a second garden of God. Why then do they not diffuse
thus extensively the seeds of knowledge, of virtue, and of bliss? I
ask not for their pretences; they are as old as the lust of lucre, and
are refuted by the example which we have been contemplating: I ask for
the true reason, for the inspiring principle of their conduct. It is
this--let them look to it when God shall call them to account for the
abuse of their time, their talents, their station, their 'unrighteous
mammon'--it is this: they believe not 'the words of the Lord Jesus,
how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.' They labor
under no want but one, they want _the heart_. The bountiful God
add this to the other gifts which he has bestowed upon them. I turn to
the other sex.
"That venerable mother in Israel who has exchanged the service of
God on earth for his service in heaven, has left a legacy to her
sisters: she has left the example of her faith and patience; she has
left her prayers; she has left the monument of her Christian deeds;
and by these she being dead, yet speaketh. Matrons, has she left her
mantle also? Are there none among you to hear her voice from the tomb,
Go and do thou likewise? None whom affluence permits, endowments
qualify, and piety prompts, to aim at her distinction by treading in
her steps? Maidens, are there none among you who would wish to array
yourselves hereafter in the honors of this virtuous woman? Your hearts
have dismissed their wonted warmth and generosity, if they do not
throb as the revered vision rises before you. Then prepare yourselves
now, by seeking and serving the God of her youth. You cannot be too
early adorned with the robes of righteousness and the garments of
salvation in which she was wedded, in her morning of life, to Jesus
the King of glory. That same grace which threw its radiance around
her, shall make you also to shine in the beauty of holiness; and the
fragrance of those virtues which it shall create, develope, and
ennoble, will be 'as the smell of a field which the Lord hath
blessed.'
"Yea, let me press upon all the transcendent excellence of
Christian character, and the victorious power of Christian hope. The
former bears the image of God; the latter is as imperishable as his
throne. We fasten our eyes with more real respect and more heart-felt
approbation upon the moral majesty displayed in walking as Christ also
walked, than upon all the pomps of the monarch or decorations of the
military hero. More touching to the sense and more grateful to high
heaven is the soft melancholy with which we look after our departed
friend, and the tear which embalms her memory, than the thundering
plaudits which rend the air with the name of a conqueror. She has
obtained a triumph over that foe who shall break the arm of valor, and
strike off the crown of kings. 'The fashion of this world passeth
away.' Old Time approaches towards his last hour. The proudest
memorials of human grandeur shall be food for the conflagration to be
kindled when 'the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven in flaming
fire. Then shall he be glorified in his saints, and admired in all
them that believe.'
"There are those perhaps, in the present assembly, who repute
godliness fanaticism, and the sobriety of Christian peace the gloom of
a joyless spirit; but who cannot forbear sighing out, with the prophet
of mammon, 'Let me die the death of the righteous, and let my last end
be like his.' If they proceed no further, their wish will not be
granted. None shall die the death of the righteous, unless by a rare
dispensation of mercy, who do not live his life. They only are fit to
be with God who love God and keep his commandments. In that day of
transport and of terror which we shall all witness, how many of the
thoughtless fair who now 'sport themselves with their own deceivings,'
would give all the treasures of the east and thrones of the west to
sit with Isabella Graham on the right hand of Jesus Christ. If ye be
wise betimes, ye may. Now is the accepted time; to-day is the day of
salvation. The gospel of the Son of God offers you at this very
moment, the forgiveness of your sins, and an inheritance among them
that are sanctified. The blessing comes to you as a free gift: accept
it, and live; accept it, and be safe; accept it, and put away the
shudderings of guilt and the fear of death. Then shall you too, like
our friend, go in due season to be with Christ. Your happy spirit
shall rejoin hers in the mansions of the saved. God shall bring you in
soul and body with her when he makes up his jewels. Then shall he
gather his elect from the four winds of heaven, shall perfect that
which concerneth them, and make them fully and for ever blessed. Be
our place among them in that day.'
EXTRACT FROM MRS. GRAHAM'S
LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT.
"My children and my grandchildren I leave to my covenant God--the
God who hath fed me all my life with the bread that perisheth, and the
bread that never perisheth; who has been a Father to my fatherless
children, and a Husband to their widowed mother thus far. And now,
receiving my Redeemer's testimony, John 3:33, I set to my seal that
God is true; and believing the record in John's epistle, that God hath
given to me eternal life, and this life is in his Son, who, through
the eternal Spirit, offered himself without spot unto God, and being
consecrated a priest for ever, hath with his own blood, entered into
the holy place, having obtained eternal redemption for me. I also
believe that he will perfect what concerns me, support and carry me
safely through death, and present me to his Father, complete in
his own righteousness, without spot or wrinkle. Into the hands
of this redeeming God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, I commit my
redeemed spirit."
Mrs. Graham's epitaph on a tablet in the Pearl-street church, is
associated with that of her son-in-law Mr. Bethune, to whom before his
connection with the family she was a spiritual mother; who prepared
her memoir, wrote and printed tracts for her widows, imported Bibles
for her to distribute, replenished her charity purse when exhausted;
with whom she took sweet counsel and walked to the house of God in
company; and for whom she was pleased to leave the written and
honorable testimony: "He stands in my mind, in temper, conduct, and
conversation, the nearest to the gospel standard of any man or woman I
ever knew as intimately. Devoted to his God, to his church, to his
family, to all to whom he may have opportunity of doing good, duty is
his governing principle; cast upon his care, under God he nourishes me
with kindness," etc. They have entered into rest. One sepulchre
contains their sleeping dust, and one monument bears the following
tribute to their memory:
SACRED TO THE MEMORY
OF
DIVIE BETHUNE,
MERCHANT OF THIS CITY,
WHO DIED SEPTEMBER 18, 1824, AGED 53 YEARS;
AND OF
ISABELLA GRAHAM,
HIS MOTHER-IN-LAW,
WHO DIED JULY 27, 1814, AGED 72 YEARS.
THEY WERE BOTH NATIVES OF SCOTLAND.
THIS MONUMENT
IS REARED BY HIS BEREAVED WIDOW AND HER ORPHAN DAUGHTER,
AS A TESTIMONIAL OF TWO SERVANTS OF JESUS CHRIST:
THE ONE A RULING ELDER IN HIS CHURCH, THE OTHER A MOTHER IN ISRAEL;
WHO, LIKE ENOCH, WALKED WITH GOD,
LIKE ABRAHAM, OBTAINED THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF FAITH,
AND, LIKE PAUL, FINISHED THEIR COURSE WITH JOY.
THEY WERE LOVELY AND PLEASANT IN THEIR LIVES,
AND THEY REST HERE TOGETHER IN THEIR GRAVES.
"THE BLESSING OF HIM THAT WAS READY TO PERISH CAME UPON THEM; AND
THEY CAUSED THE WIDOW'S HEART TO SING FOR JOY." JOB 29:13.
"OH HOW GREAT IS THY GOODNESS, WHICH THOU HAST LAID UP FOR THEM
THAT FEAR THEE; WHICH THOU HAST WROUGHT FOR THEM THAT TRUST IN THEE
BEFORE THE SONS OF MEN!" PSA. 31:19.
PROVISION
FOR
MY LAST JOURNEY THROUGH THE WILDERNESS
AND
PASSAGE OVER JORDAN.*
*Found in Mrs. Graham's pocket after her decease.
"'Prepare you victuals, for within three days ye shall pass over
this Jordan, to go in to possess the land which the Lord your God
giveth you to possess it. When ye see the ark of the covenant of the
Lord your God, and the priests bearing it, then ye shall remove and go
after it: that ye may know the way by which ye must go, for ye have
not passed this way heretofore.'
"'Sanctify yourselves, for to-morrow the Lord will do wonders
among you.'
"'Behold, the ark of the covenant of the Lord of all the earth
passeth over before you into Jordan: and it shall come to pass, that
as soon as the soles of the feet of the priests that bear the ark of
the Lord, the Lord of all the earth, shall rest in the waters, that
the waters of Jordan shall be cut off from the waters that come down
from above; and they shall stand upon a heap.'
"'And it came to pass, that when the people removed from their
tents to pass over Jordan, and the priests bearing the ark of the
covenant before the people, that as they that bare the ark were come
into Jordan, and the feet of the priests were dipped in the brim of
the water, that the waters that came down from above stood and rose up
upon a heap; and the priests that bare the ark of the covenant of the
Lord stood firm on dry ground in the midst of Jordan, and all the
Israelites passed over on dry ground.'
"'And Joshua set up twelve stones in the midst of Jordan, in the
place where the feet of the priests that bare the ark of the covenant
of the Lord stood; and they are there unto this day.'
"'When your children shall ask their fathers in time to come,
saying, What mean these stones? ye shall let your children know,
saying, Israel came over this Jordan on dry land; for the Lord your
God dried up the waters from before you until ye were passed over, as
the Lord your God did to the Red sea, which he dried up, until we were
passed over; that all people of the earth might know the hand of the
Lord, that it is mighty: that ye might fear the Lord your God for
ever,' Amen. Josh. 1:11; chap. 3, 4.
"Oh, thou Jehovah; Israel's God, and by thy new covenant, my God;
thus far hast thou brought me through the wilderness: bearing,
chastising, forgiving, restoring. Well hast thou made out thy
wilderness name to me: 'The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious,
long-suffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for
thousands, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin.' Great have
been my provocations, but greater still thy covenant mercy. I have not
perished with them that believed not; sore bitten I am, but thou hast
fixed mine eyes on the lifted-up Healer, and I am in his hand for
further cure. My journey has been long, and my way devious; but my
blessed Joshua is still in view. I must be near to Jordan's flood; I
have been preparing victuals from thine own repository of truth. And
now, my blessed High-priest and Ark of the covenant, lead on my
staggering steps the little further. I have not gone this way
heretofore, but thou hast measured these waters while they overflowed
all their banks. Thou hast passed through, and made the passage safe
for thy people. At thy command the waters stand up upon a heap, and
they pass through in thy presence on faith's firm ground. Keep then
mine eye upon thee, and I shall fear no evil. And Oh, my, blessed
Leader, if it might please thee, I would ask a boon, yet with
submission, that thy sensible presence might be with me all the way
through; and that thou wouldst bring from my quivering lips a
testimony to the glory of thy grace, that my children may know that
thou hast pardoned, restored, perfected, dried up the waters of
terror, carried me triumphantly through, and put me in possession of
the purchased inheritance. Amen.
"'This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that
Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief.'
1 Tim. 1:15.
"I have often inquired, What is there within us, or without us,
on which a sinner can rest in peace in a dying hour? If it be a holy
life, there can be no peace for me--taking the law of God for my
standard; backslider is my name; yet I think in this sacred volume I
find a hope even for me, the chief of sinners.
"'As Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must
the Son of man be lifted up, that whosoever believeth on him should
not perish, but have eternal life. For God so loved the world, that he
gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him should not
perish, but have eternal life. For God sent not his Son into the world
to condemn the world, but that the world through him might be saved.'
'He that cometh from heaven is above all, and what he hath seen and
heard, that he testifieth.' 'He that receiveth his testimony has set
to his seal that God is true.' 'The Father loveth the Son, and hath
given all things into his hand; he that believeth on the Son hath
everlasting life.' John 3:14-36. Here is a hope for me; the world is
made up of sinners, I am one of them, and though the chief, am not
excluded. The Son of man came to save that which was lost, Matt.
18:11; I am of that description. 'The Pharisees said, Why eateth your
master with publicans and sinners? Jesus said, The whole need not a
physician, but they that are sick.' Matt. 9:11. I am a sinner, and
sick. 'I will have mercy, and not sacrifice; for I am not come to call
the righteous, but sinners to repentance.' I am a sinner, and need
repentance. 'Him hath God exalted with his right hand, to be a Prince
and a Saviour, to give repentance to Israel and forgiveness of sins.'
Acts 5:31. 'The Lord is long-suffering, not willing that any should
perish, but that all should come to repentance.' 2 Pet. 3:9.
"Christ said to the woman of Samaria, a notorious sinner, 'If
thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give
me to drink, thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given
thee living water. Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst
again; but whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him,
shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in
him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.' John 4:10,
14. Yes, my Redeemer, a draught of this water, received in faith from
the hand of the Spirit, will give life in death. O pour it into my
thirsty soul in that searching hour.
"Jesus said to a mixed multitude of sinners like me, 'Labor not
for the meat which perisheth, but for that meat which endureth unto
everlasting life, which the Son of man shall give unto you; for him
hath God the Father sealed,' John 6:27. These sinners said unto him,
'What shall we do that we might work the works of God?' 'That ye
believe on Him whom he hath sent. My Father giveth you the true bread
from heaven, for the bread of God is he which cometh down from heaven,
and giveth life unto the world: I am the bread of life; he that cometh
unto me shall never hunger, and he that believeth on me shall never
thirst. I am the living bread which came down from heaven; if any man
eat of this bread, he shall live for ever. And the bread which I shall
give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world. Jesus
said unto them, Except ye eat the flesh, and drink the blood of the
Son of man, ye have no life in you: whoso eateth my flesh, and
drinketh my blood, dwelleth in me, and I in him. As the living Father
hath sent me, and I live by the Father; so he that eateth me, even he
shall live by me.' The Father giveth this bread, the Son giveth this
bread; whosoever will, may take of this bread, and the promise with
it. Father, I take this bread, I take and believe that I have in thee
eternal life, according to thy word. O holy and blessed Comforter,
Spirit of the Father and of the Son, whose office it is to take of the
things of Christ and show them unto his redeemed, when the bread and
the water that perish can no longer refresh this dying body, apply
this living bread and living water to my soul, that life may spring up
in the midst of death; and in that trying hour, bear witness with my
spirit that I dwell in Christ, and Christ in me, and that I shall
never die.
"'In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and
cried, If any man thirst, let him come unto me and drink. He that
believeth on me, as the Scripture hath said, out of his belly shall
flow rivers of living water. This spake he of the Spirit, that they
who believe on him should receive.' John 7:37. This he proclaimed to a
mixed multitude of sinners like myself. Lord, I believe, and am sure
that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God. Be it unto me
according to thy word: 'I am the resurrection and the life: he that
believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live; and whosoever
liveth and believeth in me, shall never die. Believest thou this?'
John 11:25. I believe that thou art the Christ, the Son of the living
God, which should come into the world; the promised Messiah; the gift
of the Father, the covenant given to the people; the anointed Prophet
and King, and consecrated High-priest; who through the eternal Spirit
offeredst thyself without spot unto God; who came to do that most
perfect will of God, by which we are sanctified through the offering
of the body of Christ once for all. Lamb of God, which takest away the
sins of the world, on thee I lay my precious never-dying soul; wash me
in thy blood, clothe me in thy righteousness; sanctify me, soul,
spirit, and body, to thy service. I have no other foundation of hope,
nothing within me, nothing without me; my entire dependence is on thy
finished work; into thy hands I commit my spirit.
"Let me hear thy consoling voice, compassionate Saviour. 'Let not
your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my
Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so I would have told
you. I go to prepare a place for you. I will come again and receive
you unto myself, that where I am, there ye may be also,' John 14:1-3.
O seal this upon my heart, and it is enough. To be where thou art, is
heaven enough to me. To be where thou art, to see thee as thou art,
and to be made like thee, the last sinful motion for ever past--no
more opposition, no more weariness, listlessness, dryness, deadness;
but conformed to my blessed Head, every way capacitated to serve him,
and to enjoy him--this is heaven.
"'Jesus said, I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no man
cometh to the Father, but by me.' Blessed Comforter, do thine office;
take these things of Christ and show them unto me; lead me in this
way, feed me with this truth, and animate me with this life:
'Whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, that will I do,
that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye ask any thing in my
name, I will do it.' Blessed Comforter, here also do thine office: I
know not what to ask for as I ought; help mine infirmities as thou
hast said; suggest the prayer, be in me the spirit of prayer and
supplication, and especially in that hour of need, when sickness saps
the clay tabernacle, discomposing the spirit, and confusing perhaps
the ideas: still, still let my thoughts rise to my God. Oh, let no
unhallowed subject get hold of me in that hour, but keep my Saviour's
name in my heart, and on my lips. Is not this according to thy will?
watch over it then, and keep the avenues of my soul from every
vain idea.
"'If ye love me, keep my commandments, and I will pray the
Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide
with you for ever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot
receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him; but ye know
him, for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. He that hath my
commandments and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me; and he that
loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will
manifest myself unto him; and we will come and make our abode with
him. The Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send
in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to
your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. Peace I leave with
you; my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto
you: let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.' In
that last warfare, when nothing on earth can give peace; when the
world recedes, and disappears; when friends must stand aloof and leave
me to the combat alone; Oh, blessed and promised Comforter, bring to
my remembrance, and impress on my weary spirit these sweet words of my
Saviour. But it has often occurred to me, and may in that hour, that
though Jesus received sinners, they were ignorant sinners. The Jews
understood not the gospel contained in their types and sacrifices;
they were unenlightened and unconverted; the Gentiles were totally
blind, serving dumb idols; neither had known the gospel, neither had
tasted the grace of God, neither were backsliders, like me. I have
known the truth, been enlightened, tasted of the heavenly gift, been
made a partaker of the Holy Ghost, tasted of the good word of God, and
of the power of the world to come.
"Fifty years ago the Lord convinced me of my sin, my misery, and
my total helplessness. I was also, I think, enabled to lay hold on the
hope set before me.
"I have, in numerous exercises and acts, accepted of God's gift
of Jesus Christ to me a condemned sinner; taking hold of the Scripture
words of invitation and promise held out for my acceptance. I have
pleaded his own covenant provision, in the substitution of his own Son
in my stead, making him to be sin, who knew no sin, that sinners might
be made the righteousness of God in him. I put in my claim as a
sinner, among the ungodly for whom Christ died. I believed his
testimony, and set to my seal that God is true. I rested on this
foundation--I yet have no other; I know there is no other. The
foundation standeth sure. But Oh, what am I to think of the fruits? I
have again and again turned back into the world, grieved the Spirit,
crucified the Son of God afresh, and put him to open shame. No wonder
I stand alarmed at the apostle's assertion: my conscience testifies
that my character is nearly, if not altogether, such as the apostle,
by the Holy Spirit, says it is impossible to renew to repentance.
Hebrews 6:4, 5. But thou hast renewed to repentance! Thy name is 'the
Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, and
abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving
iniquity, transgression, and sin.' Thou wilt by no means clear the
guilty; but thou hast provided a substitute, and laid my guilt and
guilty person on thine own Son.
"By this gracious name thou wast known to thy backsliding Israel
in the wilderness; whose heart, like mine, was not right with God;
neither were they steadfast in his covenant; but he, 'being full of
compassion, forgave their iniquity, and destroyed them not.' Many a
time turned he his anger away, and did not stir up all his wrath. They
forgot God their Saviour, who had done great things for them; they
transgressed his commandment, and in their heart turned back again to
Egypt; they brought upon themselves many afflictions, and many times
did he deliver them; they provoked him with their counsel, and were
brought low for their iniquity; nevertheless, he heard their cry, and
repented according to the multitude of his mercies; while the blood of
bulls and of goats typified the great propitiatory sacrifice, by which
'God can be just and justify the ungodly.' By this name was the Lord
God, merciful and gracious, known in the pleasant land; and by the
same sacrifice, the blood of Christ, which cleanseth from all sin, was
typified. Psalms 103, 51.
"The prophets prophesied in his name. 'All we, like sheep, have
gone astray, and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. He
was wounded for our transgressions, and bruised for our iniquities;
the chastisement of our peace was laid on him, and by his stripes we
are healed.' 'Deliver him from going down to the pit; I have found a
ransom.' Even backsliders, among whom I stand chief, have been
recalled. 'My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me
the fountain of living waters, and have hewn out to themselves
cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water. Is Israel a
servant; is he a home-born slave; wherefore is he spoiled? Hast thou
not procured this to thyself, in that thou hast forsaken the Lord thy
God, when he led thee by the way? And now what hast thou to do in the
way of Egypt, to drink the waters of Sihor? or what hast thou to do in
the way of Assyria, to drink the waters of the river? Thine own
wickedness shall correct thee, and thy backslidings shall reprove
thee. Know therefore, and see that it is an evil and bitter thing,
that thou hast forsaken the Lord thy God, and that my fear is not in
thee, saith the Lord God of hosts. For of old I have broken thy yoke,
and burst thy bands; and thou saidst, I will not transgress; when upon
every high hill and under every green tree thou wanderest, playing the
harlot. Yet I had planted thee a noble vine, wholly a right seed: how
art thou turned into the degenerate plant of a strange vine unto me?
Why gaddest thou about so much to change thy way? thou also shalt be
ashamed of Egypt, as thou wast ashamed of Assyria. Have I been a
barren wilderness, or a land of darkness unto thee? Wherefore say my
people, We are lords, and will come no more to thee? Can a maid forget
her ornaments, or a bride her attire? yet my people have forgotten me,
days without number.' Jeremiah 2. 'They say, If a man put away his
wife, and she go from him, and become another man's, shall he return
to her again? shall not that land be greatly polluted? But thou hast
played the harlot with many lovers; yet return again unto me, saith
the Lord. Wilt thou not from this time cry unto me. My Father, thou
art the guide of my youth?' What can I say to such grace? Thou art
infinite in thy mercy to pardon, and in thy power to save. Such has
been my character, and such the amazing mercy of my offended God.
Often, often has he pardoned, restored, blessed, and made me happy.
But Oh, just is the renewed charge against me. 'For the house of
Israel and the house of Judah have dealt very treacherously with me,
saith the Lord. They have belied the Lord, and said, It is not he,
neither shall evil come upon us.' 'Go and proclaim these words, and
say, Return, thou backsliding Israel, saith the Lord; and I will not
cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful, saith the Lord,
I will not keep anger for ever. Only acknowledge thine iniquity, that
thou hast transgressed against the Lord thy God; and ye have not
obeyed my voice, saith the Lord. Turn, O backsliding children, for I
am married unto you.' Jer. 3. What, O what can I say to such grace?
Truly, thy ways are not as our ways, nor thy thoughts as our thoughts.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are thy ways higher
than our ways, and thy thoughts than our thoughts. Oh, how is my guilt
aggravated by all this grace; and yet thou callest, _Return;_ and
thou thyself turnest me. I do, O Lord God, merciful and gracious, I do
acknowledge my iniquity; every time I turn back my eyes upon my past
life my sins rise in magnitude, heightened by more enlarged views of
thy goodness. It is of the Lord's mercies that I am not consumed,
because his compassions fail not.
"A voice was heard upon the high places, weeping and supplication
of the children of Israel, for they have perverted their ways, and
they have forgotten the Lord their God. Yes, thou hast, my gracious
God, granted repentance. Thine eye has seen the tears I have shed;
thou hast given me a contrite heart. I have looked upon him whom I
have pierced, and been in bitterness as for a first-born. I feel it
now, and must feel it while the body of sin exists. But Oh, Lord God,
merciful and gracious, the cause is in thyself, that I hear thy voice,
and that I answer. 'Return, ye backsliding children, and I will heal
your backslidings. Behold, I come unto thee, for thou art the Lord our
God. Truly in vain is salvation hoped for from the hills and the
multitude of mountains. Truly, in the Lord God is the salvation of
Israel. We lie down in our shame, our confusion covereth us: for we
have sinned against the Lord our God; we and our fathers, even from
our youth; and have not obeyed the voice of the Lord God. Thus saith
the Lord God, I will even deal with thee as thou hast done, who hast
despised the oath in breaking the covenant. Nevertheless, I will
remember my covenant with thee in the days of thy youth; and I will
establish unto thee an everlasting covenant, and thou shalt know that
I am the Lord. That thou mayest remember and be confounded, and never
open thy mouth any more, because of thy shame, when I am pacified
towards thee, saith the Lord God.' Amen, Lord God, merciful and
gracious. Be it so. It is so _now_--it _must_, it will be
so, until death shall open mine eyes on that mystery: The glory of God
arising out of the abounding of sin, through the superabounding of
grace, and grace reigning through righteousness unto eternal life, by
Jesus Christ our Lord!
"Till then, while sin dwelleth in me, let me enjoy the
blessedness of a contrite heart; yea, even shame and confusion, since
it is the sign that thou art pacified with me. Thou hast dealt with
me, thou hast chastened, and in some instances taken vengeance on my
inventions. But thou art pacified with me, and I dare look again to
thy holy temple, to the temple not made with hands, to the minister of
the sanctuary, and the true tabernacle which the Lord pitched, and not
man; to the blessed High-priest, who through the eternal Spirit
offered himself a sacrifice without spot unto God, and by his own
blood entered in once into the holy place, having obtained eternal
redemption for us, and when he had purged our sins, sat down on the
right hand of the Majesty on high; to the blessed Mediator of the new
and better covenant, established on better promises; to the Surety of
the new testament, and sealed with his own blood. Oh, I will look unto
Jesus, the object, the author, and the finisher of that faith which
interests us in himself and the whole of his purchase. He bids me look
unto him, and be saved. I do look unto him, and I am saved. Who dares
condemn the sinner whom Christ acquits? Who shall lay any thing to his
charge? 'It is Christ that died; yea, rather, who is risen again;
who is even at the right hand of God; who also maketh intercession
for us.'"
ISAIAH 44:22. "RETURN UNTO ME.
A SCRIPTURE PARAPHRASE BY D. B----
"Return to thee, my God? dost thou
The invitation yet renew?
Return to thee! my chiefest joy,
Till sin did all my peace destroy.
"And yet, to hear thy pardoning voice
Must make my trembling heart rejoice;
Though sin is there, thou well dost know
It is my burden and my foe.
"O let me hear those gracious words:
Be still, my soul, they are the Lord's;
That God, who once on thee did shine,
And filled thee with a hope divine.
"'Thy black transgressions, trembling soul--
Thy sins so heinous and so foul,
Which like a cloud obscure thy day,
I've blotted out, I've washed away.
"'Return to me, thou 'rt mine; I own
Thee for my servant, and my son;
I have redeemed thy precious soul,
And none my purchase shall control.'
"I hear, I come, my covenant God:
Thy love's my life, my raiment, food;
Thy favor, through my Jesus given,
Is to my soul the bliss of heaven.
"I come, my Jesus; hold me fast,
Till, life and Jordan's journey past,
My faith to vision yield her place,
And I shall see thy unveiled face.
"Then, with the loudest of the throng,
Of sins forgiven I'll raise the song--
Of pardon bought with Jesus' blood,
Sinners made kings and priests to God."
PSALM 103. FIFTY YEARS AGO.
"Oh thou, my soul, bless God the Lord,
And all that in me is
Be stirréd up, his holy name
To magnify and bless," etc.
"'I will not leave you comfortless; I will come to you. Yet a
little while, and the world seeth me no more; but ye see me: because I
live, ye shall live also. At that day ye shall know that I am in my
Father, and ye in me, and I in you. Believest thou not that I am in
the Father, and the Father in me? He that hath seen me, hath seen the
Father. Howbeit, when the Spirit of truth is come, he will guide you
into all truth. He shall glorify me; for he shall receive of mine, and
shall show it unto you. All things that the Father hath are mine;
therefore said I, that he shall take of mine, and shall show it unto
you.' John 14; 16:14. 'Neither pray I for these alone, but for them
also which shall believe on me through their word; that they all may
be one; as thou, Father, art in me and I in thee, that they may be one
in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. And the
glory which thou gavest me I have given them, that they may be one,
even as we are one, I in them and thou in me, that they may be made
perfect in one; that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and
hast loved them as thou hast loved me. Father, I will that they also,
whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am, that they may behold
my glory, which thou hast given me; for thou lovedst me before the
foundation of the world.' John 17:20, etc. 'All are yours; and ye are
Christ's; and Christ is God's.' 1 Cor. 3:22. 'Ye are dead, and your
life is hid with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, shall
appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.' Col. 3:3. 'For
in him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily. And ye are
complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power.'
Col. 2:9. 'There is one body, and one Spirit, even as ye are called in
one hope of your calling: one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God
and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.
But unto every one of us is given grace according to the measure of
the gift of Christ.' Eph. 4:4.
"'I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but
Christ liveth in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh, I
live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself
for me,' Gal. 2: 20.
"'Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world!
And looking upon Jesus as he walked, John saith, Behold the Lamb of
God!' John 1:29, 36.
"'Therefore let no man glory in men: for all things are yours;
whether Paul, or Apollos, or Cephas, or the world, or life, or death,
or things present, or things to come; all are yours; and ye are
Christ's; and Christ is God's,' 1 Cor. 3:21.
"'It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. He
sitteth alone and keepeth silence; he putteth his mouth in the dust,
if so be there may be hope; he giveth his cheek to him that smiteth
him: he is filled full with reproach.' Lam. 3:27.
"'That thou mayest remember, and be confounded, and never open
thy mouth any more, because of thy shame, when I am pacified toward
thee for all that thou hast done, saith the Lord.' Ezek. 16:63.
_Amen._
"'A day of darkness and of gloominess, a day of clouds and of
thick darkness, as the morning spread upon the mountains. Therefore,
also now, saith the Lord, turn ye unto me with all your heart, with
fasting, with weeping, and with mourning. Rend your heart, and not
your garments, and turn unto the Lord your God; for he is gracious and
merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of
the evil,' Joel 2:2, 12.
"'I will visit upon her the days of Baalim: she went after her
lovers, and forgat me, saith the Lord. I will allure her, and bring
her into the wilderness, and speak comfortably unto her. And I will
betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in
righteousness, and in judgment, and in loving-kindness, and in
mercies. I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou
shalt know the Lord.' Hosea 2:13.
"'O Israel, thou hast destroyed thyself; but in me is thy help.'
'Return unto the Lord thy God, for thou hast fallen by thine iniquity.
Take with you words, and turn to the Lord; say unto him, Take away all
iniquity, and receive us graciously: so will we render the calves of
our lips. Ashur shall not save us; we will not ride upon horses:
neither will we say any more to the work of our hands, Ye are our
gods: for in thee the fatherless findeth mercy.' Hosea 13:14.
"'I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely; for
mine anger is turned away from him. I will be as the dew unto Israel;
he shall grow as the lily, and cast forth his roots as Lebanon.
Ephraim shall say, What have I to do any more with idols? I have heard
him, and observed him. I am like a green fir-tree; from me is thy
fruit found.' Hosea 14.
"'O Lord, to us belongeth confusion of face, because we have
sinned against thee. To the Lord our God belong mercies and
forgiveness, though we have rebelled against him.' Daniel 9.
"'He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the
lambs in his arms, and carry them in his bosom; and shall gently lead
those that are with young. Why sayest thou, O Jacob, and speakest, O
Israel, My way is hid from the Lord, and my judgment is passed over
from my God? Hast thou not known, hast thou not heard, that the
everlasting God fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching
of his understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that
have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and
be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall; but they that wait
upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with
wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk,
and not faint.' Isa. 40:11, etc.
"'Who gave Jacob for a spoil, and Israel to the robbers? Did not
the Lord, he against whom we have sinned? For they would not walk in
his ways, neither were they obedient to his law. Therefore he hath
poured upon him the fury of his anger, and the strength of battle: and
it hath set him on fire round about, yet he knew not; and it burned
him, yet he laid it not to heart. But now thus saith the Lord that
created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not;
for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art
mine. When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and
through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest
through the fire, thou shalt not be burnt; neither shall the flame
kindle upon thee. For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel,
thy Saviour. Since thou wast precious in my sight thou hast been
honorable, and I have loved thee.' Isa. 42:24, etc.
"Yes, my God, I remember and am confounded; amazed at my
ingratitude, amazed at thy grace. I am thy witness, just so has been
thy way with me. What can I say? Thou hast wrought with me for thy
name's sake. I am dumb before thee; Oh, I am vile--and yet I am thine!
Thou hast redeemed me; it is thy good pleasure to save me. Glorify thy
name. 'I have blotted out, as a thick cloud, thy transgressions, and
as a cloud, thy sins: return unto me; for I have redeemed thee. Sing,
O ye heavens; for the Lord hath done it: shout, ye lower parts of the
earth: break forth into singing, ye mountains, O forest and every
green tree therein; for the Lord hath redeemed Jacob, and glorified
himself in Israel.'
"'For if by one man's offence, death reigned by one; much more
they which receive abundance of grace, and of the gift of
righteousness, shall reign in life by one, Christ Jesus. Where sin
abounded, grace did much more abound: that as sin hath reigned unto
death, so might grace reign through righteousness unto eternal life,
by Jesus Christ our Lord.'
"'Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth: for I
am God, and there is none else. I have sworn by myself, the word is
gone out of my mouth in righteousness, and shall not return, that unto
me every knee shall bow, every tongue shall swear. Surely shall one
say, In the Lord have I righteousness and strength: even to him shall
men come; and all that are incensed against him shall be ashamed. In
the Lord shall all the seed of Israel be justified, and shall glory.'
'Hearken unto me, O house of Jacob, and all the remnant of the house
of Israel. Even to your old age, I am he; and even to hoar hairs will
I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will
deliver you.' Isa. 45:22; 46:3.
"'Thus saith the Lord; I, even I, will both search my sheep, and
seek them out. As a shepherd seeketh out his flock in the day that he
is among his sheep that are scattered; so will I seek out my sheep,
and will deliver them out of all places where they have been scattered
in the cloudy and dark day. And I will bring them out from the people,
and gather them to their own land, and feed them upon the mountains of
Israel by the rivers, and in all the inhabited places of the country.
And I will feed them in a good pasture, and upon the high mountains of
Israel shall their fold be: there shall they lie in a good fold, and
in a fat pasture shall they feed upon the mountains of Israel. I will
feed my flock, and I will cause them to lie down, saith the Lord God.
I will seek that which was lost, and bring again that which was driven
away, and will bind up that which was broken, and will strengthen that
which was sick.' Ezek. 34:11. He hath done it, I am his witness: I,
the poor wanderer, the happy subject of this grace. 'And I will raise
up for them a plant of renown,' my Jesus, 'and they shall be no 'more
consumed with hunger in the land, neither bear the shame of the
heathen any more. Thus shall they know that I the Lord their God am
with them, and that they, even the house of Israel, are my people,
saith the Lord God. And ye my flock, the flock of my pasture, are men,
and I am your God, saith the Lord God.' Ezek. 34:29. 'As the mountains
are round about Jerusalem, so the Lord is round about his people from
henceforth, even for ever.' Psa. 125:2.
"'When the house of Israel dwelt in their own land, they defiled
it by their own way and by their doings. And I scattered them among
the heathen, and they were dispersed through the countries; according
to their ways and according to their doings I judged them. And when
they entered unto the heathen, whither they went, they profaned my
holy name, when they said to them, These are the people of the Lord,
and are gone forth out of his land. But I had pity for my holy name,
which the house of Israel had profaned among the heathen, whither they
went. Therefore say unto the house of Israel, thus saith the Lord God:
I do not this for your sakes, O house of Israel, but for my holy
name's sake, which ye have profaned among the heathen, whither ye
went. And I will sanctify my great name, which was profaned among the
heathen, which ye have profaned in the midst of them; and the heathen
shall know that I am the Lord, saith the Lord God, when I shall be
sanctified in you before their eyes. For I will take you from among
the heathen, and gather you out of all countries, and will bring you
into your own land. Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye
shall be clean: from all your filthiness, and from all your idols,
will I cleanse you. A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit
will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of
your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my
Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall
keep my judgments, and do them. I will also save you from all your
uncleannesses: and I will call for the corn, and will increase it, and
lay no famine upon you. And I will multiply the fruit of the tree, and
the increase of the field, that ye shall receive no more reproach of
famine among the heathen. Then shall ye remember your own evil ways,
and your doings that were not good, and shall loathe yourselves in
your own sight for your iniquities, and for your abominations. Not for
your sakes do I this, saith the Lord God, be it known unto you: be
ashamed and confounded for your own ways, O house of Israel.'
Ezek. 36:17, etc."
EZEKIEL 16:63; 36:32.
A SCRIPTURE PARAPHRASE BY D. B----.
"Not for your sakes; for, born unclean,
The slaves of Satan and of sin.
I saw no comeliness in you,
To bid my grace such wonders do.
"Not for your sakes; for when my love
And grace should your affections move,
The working of an evil heart
Still makes you from my truth depart.
"Not for your sakes; for, bold and blind,
To lust and avarice inclined,
Each shadowy idol you obey,
Disowning my paternal sway.
"Not for your sakes; with heaven in view,
For sin you sell your souls anew;
You barter, for a gilded bait,
The joys of an eternal state.
"Not for your sakes; for though you eyed
The cross of Christ on which he died,
You scorn his love for worldly ends,
And wound him in the house of friends.
"Not for your sakes; with Jesus' name,
You put him to an open shame;
And by your sins, consent again
To have the dear Redeemer slain.
"Not for your sakes; 'tis my free grace
That grants you pardon, life, and peace;
And works a change on all your frame,
And binds you to adore my name.
"Not for my sake!--I hail the sound;
Let power of grace my pride confound:
Salvation is a work divine;
Confusion and the shame be mine.
"Not for my sake!--did I but trust
To weakness, vanity, and dust,
I ne'er could reach the heavenly prize,
Nor hope a mansion in the skies.
"Not for my sake!--yet save and call;
Let Jesus be my all in all:
When glory comes I'll self disown,
And grace, free grace shall wear the crown."
"'Praise ye the Lord. O give thanks unto the Lord; for he is
good: for his mercy endureth for ever.' Psalm 106:1.
"'Remember me, O Lord, with the favor that thou bearest unto thy
people: O visit me with thy salvation, that I may see the good of thy
chosen, that I may rejoice in the gladness of thy nation, that I may
glory with thine inheritance.' Psalm 106:4, 5.
"'At that time ye were without Christ, being aliens from the
commonwealth of Israel, and strangers from the covenants of promise,
having no hope, and without God in the world; but now, in Christ
Jesus, ye who sometime were far off, are made nigh by the blood of
Christ.' Eph. 2:12, 13.
"'Lord, thou hast heard the desire of the humble: thou wilt
prepare their heart, thou wilt cause thine ear to hear: to judge the
fatherless and the oppressed, that the man of the earth may no more
oppress.' Psalm 10:17.
"'Thou shalt remember all the way which the Lord thy God led thee
these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, to prove thee, to
know what was in thy heart, whether thou wouldest keep his
commandments, or no. And he humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger,
and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not, neither did thy
fathers know; that he might make thee know that man doth not live by
bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the
Lord doth man live. Thy raiment waxed not old upon thee, neither did
thy foot swell, these forty years.'
"'Thou shalt also consider in thy heart, that as a man chasteneth
his son, so the Lord thy God chasteneth thee. Therefore thou shalt
keep the commandments of the Lord thy God, to walk in his ways, and to
fear him.' Deut. 8:2-6.
"'Thou, God, seest me.' Gen. 16:13.
"'Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who
hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in
Christ; according as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of
the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in
love: having predestinated us to the adoption of sons by Jesus Christ
to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, to the praise
of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the
Beloved; in whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness
of sins, according to the riches of his grace; wherein he hath
abounded towards us in all wisdom and prudence; having made known unto
us the mystery of his will, according to his good pleasure which he
hath purposed in himself: that in the dispensation of the fulness of
times he might gather together in one all things in Christ, both which
are in heaven, and which are on earth; even in him, in whom also we
have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the
purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own
will: that we should be to the praise of his glory, who first trusted
in Christ.' Eph. 1:3-12.
"'God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he
loved us, even when we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together
with Christ, (by grace ye are saved,) and hath raised us up together,
and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus; that in
the ages to come he might show the exceeding riches of his grace, in
his kindness towards us, through Christ Jesus. For by grace are ye
saved, through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of
God: not of works, lest any man should boast; for we are his
workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath
before ordained that we should walk in them. Now therefore ye,'
Gentiles, 'are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellow-citizens
with the saints, and of the household of God; and are built upon the
foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ himself being
the chief corner-stone; in whom all the building fitly framed together
groweth unto a holy temple in the Lord: in whom ye also are builded
together for a habitation of God through the Spirit.' Eph. 2:4, etc.
'I,' Paul, 'bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, of
whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that he would
grant you according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened
with might by his Spirit in the inner man; that Christ may dwell in
your hearts by faith; that ye being rooted and grounded in love, may
be able to comprehend with all saints, what is the breadth, and
length, and depth, and height, and to know the love of Christ, which
passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of
God. Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all
that we can ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus, throughout all ages,
world without end. Amen.' Eph. 3:14-21.
"'I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk
worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, with all lowliness and
meekness, with long-suffering, forbearing one another in love;
endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
There is one body, and one Spirit, even as ye are called in one hope
of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father
of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all. But unto
every one of us is given grace according to the measure of the gift of
Christ. That we may grow up into him in all things, which is the head,
even Christ: from whom the whole body fitly joined together and
compacted by that which every joint supplieth'--ministers and people
in the use of all appointed means--'according to the effectual working
in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body to the
edifying of itself in love.' Eph. 4:1, etc.
"'I am the vine, ye are the branches; he that abideth in me and I
in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit; for without me ye can do
nothing.' John 15:5, 7.
"'And Moses said, The Lord heareth your murmurings that ye murmur
against him; and what are we? your murmurings are not against us, but
against the Lord. And Moses said, This is the bread which the Lord
hath given you to eat. And the children of Israel did eat manna until
they came unto the borders of the land of Canaan.' Exodus 16.
"'I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man
eat of this bread, he shall live for ever: and the bread that I will
give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world. He that
eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, dwelleth in me, and I in him.
The words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.'
John 6:51, etc.
"'For of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us
wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption.' 1 Cor.
1:30.
"'Seeing then that we have a great High-priest, who is passed
into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our
profession. For we have not a High-priest who cannot be touched with
the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as
we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne
of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of
need.' Heb. 4:14. 'For this is the covenant that I will make with the
house of Israel after those days, saith the Lord: I will put my laws
into their mind, and write them in their hearts; and I will be to them
a God, and they shall be to me a people: and they shall not teach
every man his neighbor, and every man his brother, saying, Know the
Lord; for all shall know me, from the least to the greatest. For I
will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their
iniquities will I remember no more. In that he saith, A new covenant,
he hath made the first old. Now that which decayeth and waxeth old is
ready to vanish away.' Heb. 8:10-13.
"'This is the record, that God hath given to us eternal life, and
this life is in his Son. He that hath the Son hath life; and he that
hath not the Son of God, hath not life.' 1 John 5:11, 12. Thanks be to
God for his unspeakable gift.' 2 Cor. 9:15.
"'Truly my soul waiteth upon God; from him cometh my salvation.
He is my defence; I shall not be greatly moved. My soul, wait thou
only upon God, for my expectation is from him: he only is my rock and
my salvation; he is my defence; I shall not be moved. In God is my
salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge is in
God.' Psa. 62:1-7."
_______________
REST.
"'Thus the heavens and the earth were finished: and on the
seventh day God ended his work which he had made, and he rested the
seventh day from all his work which he had made; and God blessed the
seventh day, and sanctified it, because that in it he had rested from
all his work that he had created and made.' Genesis 2:1-3.
"'And Moses said, To-morrow is the rest of the holy Sabbath unto
the Lord. So the people rested on the seventh day.' Exodus 16:23, 30.
"'And the women followed after, and beheld the sepulchre, and how
his body was laid. And they returned, and prepared spices and
ointments; and rested the Sabbath day according to the commandment.'
Luke 23:55, 56.
"Christ rested in the tomb of Joseph the last Sabbath under the
law; but the evening and the morning were the first day. On that
morning he closed his work of humiliation, manifested his victory over
death--the curse denounced--by rising from the tomb, and rested on the
first day of the week from all his humiliation work; his death,
burial, and rest in the grave on the seventh day being the last part
of that work."
_______________
"My God, thy service well demands
The remnant of my days:
Why is this feeble life preserved,
But to repeat thy praise?
"Thine arms of everlasting love
Do this weak frame sustain,
While life is hovering o'er the grave,
And nature sinks with pain.
"Thou, when the pains of death assail,
Wilt chase the fears of hell,
And teach my pale and quivering lips
Thy matchless grace to tell.
"Calmly I'll lay my fainting head
On thy dear faithful breast:
Pleased to obey my Father's call
To his eternal rest.
"Into thy hands, my Saviour God,
Do I my soul resign,
In firm dependence on that truth
That made salvation mine."
THE INWARD WARFARE.
"Strange and mysterious is my life;
What opposites I feel within:
A stable peace, a constant strife,
The rule of grace, the power of sin.
Too often I am captive led,
Yet daily triumph in my Head.
"I prize the privilege of prayer;
But O, what backwardness to pray:
Though on the Lord I cast my care,
I feel its burden every day.
I seek his will in all I do,
Yet find my own is working too.
"I call the promises mine own,
And prize them more than mines of gold;
Yet, though their sweetness I have known,
They leave me unimpressed and cold.
One hour upon the truth I feed;
The next, I know not what I read.
"I love the holy day of rest,
When Jesus meets his gathered saints:
Sweet day, of all the week the best,
For its return my spirit pants;
Yet often, through my unbelief,
It proves a day of guilt and grief.
"While on my Saviour I rely,
I know my foes shall lose their aim;
And therefore dare their power defy,
Assured of conquest through his name;
But soon my confidence is slain,
And all my fears return again.
"Thus different powers within me strive,
And death and sin by turns prevail.
I grieve, rejoice, decline, revive,
And victory hangs in doubtful scale;
But Jesus has his promise passed,
That grace shall overcome at last."
_______________
FLESH AND SPIRIT.
"What different powers of grace and sin
Attend our mortal state:
I hate the thoughts that work within,
Yet do the works I hate.
"Now I complain, and groan, and die,
While sin and Satan reign;
Now raise my songs of triumph high,
For grace prevails again.
"So darkness struggles with the light,
Till perfect day arise;
Water and fire maintain the fight,
Until the weaker dies.
"Thus will the flesh and spirit strive,
And vex and break my peace;
But I shall quit this mortal life,
And sin for ever cease."
_______________
"Join all the names of love and power
That ever men or angels bore;
All are too mean to speak his worth,
Or set Emmanuel's glory forth.
"But O, what condescending ways
He takes to teach his heavenly grace:
Mine eyes, with joy and wonder, see
What forms of love he bears for me.
"The Angel of the covenant stands,
With his commission in his hands;
Sent from his Father's milder throne,
To make his great salvation known.
"Great Prophet, let me bless thy name;
By thee the joyful tidings came,
Of wrath appeased and sins forgiven,
Of hell subdued, and peace with heaven.
"My bright Example, and my Guide,
I would be walking by thy side;
Oh, let me never run astray,
Nor follow the forbidden way.
"I love my Shepherd, he shall keep
My wandering soul among his sheep;
He feeds his flock, he tells their names,
And in his bosom bears the lambs.
"My Surety undertakes my cause,
Answering his Father's broken laws:
Behold my soul at freedom set,
My Surety paid the dreadful debt.
"Jesus, my great High-priest, has died,
I seek no sacrifice beside;
His blood did once for all atone,
And now it pleads before the throne.
"My Advocate appears on high,
The Father lays his thunders by;
Not all that earth or hell can say,
Shall turn my Father's heart away.
"My Lord, my Conqueror, and my King,
Thy sceptre and thy sword I sing;
Thine is the victory, and I sit
A joyful subject at thy feet.
"Aspire, my soul, to glorious deeds,
The Captain of salvation leads;
March on, nor fear to win the day,
Though death and hell obstruct thy way.
"Though death and hell, and powers unknown,
Put all their forms of mischief on,
I shall be safe, for Christ displays
Salvation in more sovereign ways."
_______________
"Be this my one great business here,
With holy trembling, holy fear,
To make my calling sure;
Thine utmost counsel to fulfil,
And suffer all thy righteous will,
And to the end endure.
"Then, Saviour, then my soul receive,
Transported from this vale, to live,
And reign with thee above:
Where faith is sweetly lost in sight,
And hope in full supreme delight,
And everlasting love."
_______________
"Hush, my distrustful heart,
And cease to flow, my tears;
For greater, Lord, thou art
Than all my doubts and fears.
Did Jesus once upon me shine?
Then Jesus is for ever mine.
"Unchangeable his will,
Whatever be my frame:
My Saviour's heart is still
Eternally the same.
My soul through many changes goes,
His love no variation knows.
"Thou, Lord, wilt carry on,
And perfectly perform,
The work thou hast begun
In me, vile sinful worm.
Mine own self-will brings grief and woe,
But Jesus will not let me go.
"The bowels of thy grace,
At first did freely move;
And still I see thy face,
And feel that God is love.
Into thine arms my soul I cast;
By sovereign mercy saved at last.
"The Priest and Ark now move
To Jordan's gulfy strand;
Come now in covenant love,
Take firm thy promised stand:
Only to me thy countenance show,
I ask no more the Jordan through."
_______________
"Come, let us join our cheerful songs
With angels round the throne;
Ten thousand thousand are their tongues,
But all their joys are one.
"Worthy the Lamb that died, they cry,
To be exalted thus;
Worthy the Lamb, our souls reply,
For he was slain for us.
"Jesus is worthy to receive
Honor and power divine;
And blessings, more than we can give,
Be, Lord, for ever thine.
"The whole creation join in one,
To bless the sacred name
Of Him that sits upon the throne,
And to adore the Lamb."
_______________
"Give me the wings of faith, to rise
Within the veil, and see
The saints above, how great their joys,
How bright their glories be.
"Once they were mourners here below,
And wet their couch with tears;
They wrestled hard, as we do now,
With sins, and doubts, and fears.
"I ask them whence their victory came:
They, with united breath,
Ascribe their conquest to the Lamb,
Their triumph to his death.
"They marked the footsteps that he trod;
His zeal inspired their breast;
And following their incarnate God,
Possessed the promised rest.
"Our glorious Leader claims our praise,
For his own pattern given;
While the long cloud of witnesses
Show the same path to heaven."
_______________
"With heart and hands, and lifted eyes,
I'll praise thee while I've life and breath;
And, while my loosened spirit flies,
I'll gasp thy praise in very death.
"Faith fain would say, in cheerful mood,
Thy name be glorified,
By leading through the swelling flood,
Or through the channel dried.
"If grace in time of need I have,
And strength as is my day,
I'll triumph through the foaming wave,
As through the side-walled way."
_______________
"I'll praise my Maker while I've breath;
And when my voice is lost in death,
Praise shall employ my noblest powers;
My days of praise shall ne'er be past,
"While life and thought and being last.
And immortality endures."
_______________
"My God, indulge my humble claim;
Thou art my hope, my joy, my rest;
The glories that compose thy name
Stand all engaged to make me blest.
"Thou great and good, thou just and wise,
Thou art my Father and my God;
And I am thine by sacred ties,
Thy child, thy servant, bought with blood.
"With heart, and eyes, and lifted hands,
For thee I long, to thee I look;
As travellers in thirsty lands
Pant for the cooling water-brook."
_______________
"Jesus, the weary wanderer's rest,
Give grace thy sovereign will to bear;
With steadfast patience arm my breast,
With holy love and lowly fear.
"Thankful, I take the cup from thee,
Prepared and mingled by thy skill;
Though bitter to the taste it be,
It has a sovereign power to heal.
"Be thou a Rock of ages nigh;
My savéd soul on thee alone
Shall safely rest, and fears shall fly,
As clouds before the mid-day sun.
"Speak to my troubled conscience peace;
Say to my trembling heart, Be still;
My power thy strength and fortress is.
Amen, to all thy sovereign will.
"O Death, where is thy sting? where now
Thy boasted victory, O grave?
Who shall contend with God, or who
Condemn whom he delights to save."
_______________
"How sweet the name of Jesus sounds
In a believer's ear:
It soothes his sorrows, heals his wounds,
And drives away his fear.
"It makes the wounded spirit whole,
And calms the troubled breast;
'Tis manna to the hungry soul,
And to the weary, rest.
"Dear Name, the Rock on which I build,
My Shield and Hiding-place;
My never failing Treasury, filled
With boundless stores of grace:
"Jesus, my Shepherd, Husband, Friend,
My Prophet, Priest, and King,
My Lord, my Life, my Way, my End,
Accept the praise I bring.
"Weak is the effort of my heart,
And cold my warmest thought;
But when I see thee as thou art,
I'll praise thee as I ought.
"Till then I would thy love proclaim
With every fleeting breath;
And may the music of thy name
Refresh my soul in death."
_______________
"Amazing grace! how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me:
I once was lost, but now am found;
Was blind, but now I see.
"'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved:
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.
"Through many dangers, toils, and snares,
Already I have come:
'Twas grace that brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.
"Yes, when this heart and flesh shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace."
A swelling Jordan rolls between--
A timid pilgrim, I;
But grace shall order all the scene,
And Christ himself be nigh.
He shall roll back the foaming wave,
Command the channel dry;
No sting has death, no victory grave?
With Jesus in my eye.
"Come, thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of endless praise.
"Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above;
Praise the mount, I'm fixed upon it--
Mount of God's unchanging love.
"Here I raise my Ebenezer,
Hither by thy help I'm come,
And I hope, by thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
"Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to save my soul from danger,
Interposed with precious blood.
"Oh, to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be:
Let that grace, Lord, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to thee.
"Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it from thy courts above."
_______________
Eternal God, I bless thy name,
The same thy power, thy grace the same;
The tokens of thy friendly care
Open and crown and close the year.
I mid ten thousand dangers stand,
Supported by thy gracious hand;
And see, when I survey thy ways,
Ten thousand monuments of grace.
Thus far thine arm has led me on;
Thus far I make thy mercy known;
And while I tread this desert land,
New mercies shall new songs demand.
My grateful soul on Jordan's shore
Shall raise one sacred pillar more;
Then bear, in thy bright courts above,
Inscriptions of immortal love.
_______________
No works to rest upon have I,
No boast of moral dignity;
If e'er I lisp a song of praise,
Grace is the note my soul shall raise.
'Twas grace that quickened me when dead;
'Twas grace my soul to Jesus led,
Grace brings me pardon for my sin,
And grace subdues my lusts within.
'Tis grace that sweetens every cross,
'Tis grace supports in every loss;
In Jesus' grace my soul is strong,
Grace is my hope, and Christ my song.
Thus, 'tis alone of grace I boast,
And 'tis alone in grace I trust:
For all that's past, grace is my theme,
For what's to come 'tis still the same.
And when I come to Jordan's shore,
I'll raise one Ebenezer more;
Th' ark of the covenant in my view,
I'll sing of grace the Jordan through.
_______________
"Is this the kind return,
Are these the thanks we owe--
Thus to abuse eternal love,
Whence all our blessings flow?
"To what a stubborn frame
Has sin reduced our mind!
What strange rebellious wretches we,
And God as strangely kind!
"Turn, turn us, mighty God!
And mould our souls afresh;
Break, sovereign grace, these hearts of stone,
And give us hearts of flesh.
"Let past ingratitude
Provoke our weeping eyes;
And hourly, as new mercies fall,
Let hourly thanks arise."
_______________
"O the sweet wonders of that cross,
Where Christ my Saviour loved and died;
Her noblest life my spirit draws,
From his dear wounds and bleeding side.
"I would for ever speak his name,
In sounds to mortal ears unknown;
With angels join to praise the Lamb,
And worship at his Father's throne."
_______________
"Jesus, the vision of thy face
Hath overpowering charms;
Scarce shall I feel death's cold embrace,
If Christ be in my arms."
_______________
"O glorious hour! O blest abode!
I shall be near and like my God;
And flesh and sin no more control
The sacred pleasures of my soul."
"When in death's gloomy vale I tread,
With joy e'en there I'll lift my head;
From fear and dread he'll keep me free,
His rod and staff shall comfort me."
_______________
"Jesus, to thy dear faithful hand
My naked soul I trust;
My flesh but waits for thy command,
To drop into the dust."
_______________
"Before we quite forsake our clay,
Or leave this dark abode,
The wings of love bear us away
To see our smiling God."
_______________
"O make it true, my Saviour God;
Raise me all fears above;
And when I think on Jesus' blood,
Let my last pulse beat love."
_______________
"O for an overcoming faith,
To cheer my dying hours;
To triumph o'er the monster Death,
And all his frightful powers.
"Joyful, with all the strength I have,
My quivering lips should sing,
'Where is thy boasted victory, Grave,
And where the monster's sting?'
"If sin be pardoned, I'm secure;
Death has no sting beside;
The law gives sin its damning power,
But Christ, my Ransom, died.
"Now to the God of victory,
Immortal thanks be paid;
Who makes us conquerors while we die,
Through Christ, our living Head."
_______________
All mortal vanities be gone,
Nor tempt mine eyes, nor tire mine ears;
Behold, amidst the eternal throne,
A vision of the Lamb appears.
All the assembling saints around,
Fall worshipping before the Lamb;
And in new songs of gospel sound,
Address their honors to his name.
Our voices join the heavenly strain,
And with transporting pleasure sing,
Worthy the Lamb that once was slain,
Our blessed Prophet, Priest, and King.
Thou hast redeemed our souls from hell,
With thine invaluable blood;
And wretches, that did once rebel,
Are now made fav'rites of their God.
Worthy for ever is the Lord,
That died for treasons not his own,
By every tongue to be adored,
And dwell upon his Father's throne.
_______________
THE NEW TESTAMENT IN THE BLOOD OF CHRIST.
"The promise of my Father's love,
Shall stand for ever good;
He said, and gave his soul to death,
And sealed it with his blood.
"To this dear covenant of thy word,
I set my worthless name;
I seal the engagement of the Lord,
And make my humble claim.
"The light, and strength, and pardoning grace,
And glory shall be mine;
My life and soul, my heart and flesh,
And all my powers are thine.
"I call that legacy mine own,
Which Jesus did bequeath;
'Twas purchased with a dying groan,
And ratified in death.
"Sweet is the memory of His name,
Who blessed us in his will:
And to his testament of love
Made his own life the seal.
"To him that washed me in his blood,
Be everlasting praise;
Salvation, honor, glory, power,
Eternal as his days."
_______________
"Blest be the Father, and his love,
To which celestial source we owe
Rivers of endless joys above,
And rills of comfort here below.
"Glory to the great Son of God;
From his dear wounded body rolls
A precious stream of vital blood,
Pardon and life for dying souls.
"We give thee, sacred Spirit, praise,
Who in our hearts of sin and woe
Mak'st living springs of grace arise,
And into boundless glory flow.
"Thus God the Father, God the Son,
And God the Spirit, we adore;
The sea of life and love unknown,
Without a bottom or a shore."
_______________
"Let me but hear my Saviour say,
Strength shall be equal to thy day;
Then I rejoice in deep distress,
Leaning on all-sufficient grace.
"I glory in infirmity,
That Christ's own power may rest on me:
When I am weak, then am I strong;
Grace is my shield, and Christ my song.
"I can do all things, or can bear
All sufferings, if my Lord be there;
Sweet pleasures mingle with the pains,
While his strong hand my head sustains.
"Faith has an overcoming power,
It triumphs in the dying hour;
Christ is our life, our joy, our hope,
Nor can we sink with such a prop."
_______________
"Jesus, I love thy charming name,
'Tis music to mine ear;
Fain would I sound it out so loud
That heaven and earth should hear.
"Yes, thou art precious to my soul,
My transport and my trust;
My Saviour, Shepherd, Husband, Friend,
No other good I boast.
"All my capacious powers can wish,
In thee doth richly meet;
Not to mine eye is light so dear,
Nor friendship half so sweet.
"Thy grace still dwells upon my heart,
And sheds its fragrance there:
The noblest balm of all my wounds,
The cordial of my care.
"I'll speak the honors of thy name
With my last faltering breath;
Then speechless clasp thee in my arms,
The antidote of death."
_______________
"Grace, 'tis a charming sound,
Harmonious to my ear;
Heaven with the echo shall resound,
And all the earth shall hear.
"Grace first contrived the way
To save rebellious man;
And all the steps _that_ grace display,
Which drew the wondrous plan.
"Grace taught my wandering feet
To tread the heavenly road;
And new supplies each hour I meet,
While pressing on to God.
"Grace all the work shall crown,
Through everlasting days;
It lays in heaven the topmost stone,
And well deserves the praise."
_______________
"My God, the spring of all my joys,
The life of my delights,
The glory of my brightest days,
And comfort of my nights:
"In darkest shades, if thou appear,
My dawning is begun;
Thou art my soul's sweet Morning-star,
And thou my rising Sun.
"The opening heavens around me shine
With beams of sacred bliss,
While Jesus shows his heart is mine,
And whispers I am his.
"My soul would leave this heavy clay,
At that transporting word;
Run up with joy the shining way,
T' embrace my dearest Lord.
"Fearless of hell and ghastly death,
I'd break through every foe;
The wings of love, and arms of faith,
Should bear me conqueror through."
_______________
"Backward with humble shame I look,
On my original;
How is my nature dashed and broke,
In our first father's fall.
"To all that's good averse and blind,
But prone to all that's ill;
What dreadful darkness veils my mind,
How obstinate my will.
"Conceived in sin: O wretched state;
Before I drew my breath,
My first young pulse began to beat
Iniquity and death.
"How strong in my degenerate blood
The old corruption reigns;
And mingling with the crooked flood,
Wanders through all my veins.
"Yet, mighty God, thy wondrous love
Can make my nature clean;
While Christ and grace prevail above
The tempter, death, and sin.
"The second Adam shall restore
The ruins of the first;
Hosanna to that sovereign power,
That new-creates our dust."
_______________
JORDAN.*
Joshua 1:11, chapter 3; Psalm 23:4; 73:24.
*The three following effusions by Mrs. Graham, constituting a
part of her "Provision," were found in a separate paper after her
funeral sermon was preached. The hymn of Newton which she had annexed
to the first, was selected by Dr. Mason and sung on that occasion; and
the circumstances described at the beginning of the third, page 434,
occurred at her death, as narrated in the memoir, though the existence
of this paper was then unknown.
The solemn hour, my soul, draws near,
The holy ark and priests appear;
They forward move to Jordan's flood,
The type, thou knowest, thy covenant God.
The signal too to thee is known;
Obey, remove, and follow on;
The ark appears, thy hallowed guide;
Shrink not, but face the rolling tide.
The waves toss high their foaming heads,
But can'st thou perish? Jesus leads.
This way before I ne'er did pass,
But Jesus thy forerunner has.
When all its banks it overflowed,
All nature wrapt in midnight cloud;
While darkness held its awful power,
And all God's billows passed him o'er.
The waves for him must not divide,
Deep calls to deep on every side;
Around his head the surges roll,
And rush into his inmost soul.
He was the sufferer in my stead,
The curse for sin lay on his head;
The law's demands came like a flood,
My Surety met them with his blood.
Till every tittle had been paid,
Till due atonement had been made,
No beam appeared of heavenly grace,
A cloud concealed his Father's face.
From brim to bottom he drank up
Of wrath the deep mysterious cup;
This Jordan passed, he rose on high,
And captive led captivity.
Justice now fully satisfied,
The law now honored, magnified,
At God's right hand he takes his place,
Executor of covenant grace.
Crowned by Jehovah's firm decree
With universal sovereignty,
All nature owns his powerful sway--
He speaks, the elements obey.
The emblem then thou may'st pursue,
And safely pass this Jordan through;
The priests but touch the watery space,
When, lo, the floods desert their place.
They gather up upon a heap,
Leave dry the channel of the deep;
The ark and priests there take their stand,
And beckon thee to leave the land.
I come, my best Beloved, I come;
Now lead me to our Father's home;
On thy dear person fix mine eye,
And faith firm footing shall supply.
I fear no ill while thou art near;
But let thy voice salute my ear,
Should spirits faint and 'scape the sigh,
With these sweet words, "Fear not; 'tis I."
With courage fresh my soul shall tread
On faith's firm ground where thou dost lead;
While still upon thy gracious face
My steady eye maintains its place.
And now, my Joshua, choose, and lay
The stones in Jordan's middle way;
Let them o'ertop the flowing wave,
Memorial of thy power to save.
For, once a suit I did prefer,
With feeble hope and trembling fear,
That I might have a Pisgah view,
In Jordan's swells, of Canaan new.
Thy softened glory let me see,
Then cause thy face to shine on me;
And tune my heart, and tune my voice,
And language furnish to rejoice.
That all around may lend their tongue,
And sweetly join my dying song;
Then, Newton, saved by grace like me,
We'll sing of sovereign grace with thee.
_______________
*"Let us love, and sing, and wonder,
Let us praise the Saviour's name;
He has hushed the law's loud thunder,
He has quenched mount Sinai's flame;
He has washed us in his blood,
He has brought us nigh to God.
*Olney Hymns, 82, book 3.
"Let us love the Lord who bought us,
Pitied us when enemies;
Called us by his grace, and taught us;
Gave us ears, and gave us eyes:
He has wafted us in his blood,
He presents our souls to God.
"Let us sing, though strong temptation
Threaten hard to bear us down:
For the Lord, our strong salvation,
Holds in view the conqueror's crown,
He who washed us in his blood,
Soon shall bring us home to God.
"Let us wonder, grace and justice
Join and point to mercy's store;
When through grace, in Christ our trust is,
Justice smiles, and asks no more.
He who washed us in his blood,
Has secured our way to God.
"Let us praise, and join the chorus
Of the saints enthroned on high;
Here they trusted him before us,
Now their praises fill the sky.
Thou hast washed us in thy blood,
Thou art worthy, Lamb of God.
"Hark, the name of Jesus sounded
Loud from golden harps above;
On that rock our hopes are founded;
Sovereign grace, and sovereign love.
We shall conquer through his blood,
Kings and priests be made to God."
NEWTON
HEAVEN.
To be where thou my Saviour art,
To see, and be conformed to thee,
Perfect in holiness this heart;
_This; this_ is heaven itself to me.
To see thee in thy glory, Lord,
Thy Father's glory and thy own;
The eternal, the incarnate Word,
Adored upon his Father's throne.
To see as seen, to know as known,
My Saviour in my flesh and blood;
To be made like him, with him one,
I in him, and he in God.
The holy, holy, holy One,
Who was, and is, and is to come,
The earth his footstool, heaven his throne,
The church his bride, he her Bridegroom.
Angels and elders, earth and heaven,
Are summoned to unseal the book;
But silent all, no answer given,
None worthy found therein to look.
But Judah's Lion, David's Son,
And David's Root, the great I AM,
Appears upon his Father's throne,
As slain for sacrifice, the Lamb.
He takes the book he can unseal;
He worthy is, and he has power
God's secret counsels to reveal,
And to fulfil each in its hour.
The heavenly host united fall
In humble worship at his feet;
One glorious theme inspires them all,
The joy is full, the concert sweet.
New odors to the throne ascend,
In accents new their praises soar;
Each finds in each a glowing friend,
And all the God of all adore.
And shall I join that prostrate throng,
In love's ecstatic heaven-taught lays,
With powers expanded, that new song
Hymn to the Lamb's exalted praise?
"Worthy art thou to take the book,
And loose the seals, and read therein,
God's holy mysteries to unlock;
Worthy art thou, for thou wast slain.
"Thou hast redeemed us with thy blood,
From every nation of the earth;
And made us kings and priests to God,
And sharers of a heavenly birth."
Myriads of angels stand around,
Uniting in the loud acclaim;
And fill the temple with the sound
Of our Redeemer's gentle name.
"Worthy the Lamb that once was slain,
A sacrifice for every sin,
All power and glory to obtain,
And universal empire win."
Heaven, earth, and sea shall swell the tone
Of fervent universal praise;
And grateful joy around the throne,
Its voice from age to age shall raise.
In all these myriads, is there one
Who had on earth so much forgiven?
And shall I reach their highest tone
Of love to Jesus? THIS IS HEAVEN.
And when this breast to heave shall cease,
And heart and lungs are hushed to peace,
Some friendly hand the eyelids close,
And leave the clay to short repose.
Still on your knees be thanks expressed,
According as the Lord has blessed;
This tongue, then mute, can now foretell
Jesus shall have done all things well.
Should the great Sovereign will it so,
That I in secret with him go,
'T will be enough that He stands by,
He all my wants will well supply.
Upon his dear, his faithful breast,
My heart and head shall safely rest;
The fluttering pulse and bursting sigh,
He'll soothe with, "Fear not; it is I."
Into his hands my spirit I'll breathe,
Inhaling life from him in death;
Though none should see, faith can foretell
My Jesus shall do all things well.
Though he deny my half-formed prayer,
Well may I cast on Him my care;
All things are mine, or life or death;
In praise of Him I'll spend my breath.
Be this my only wish beside,
That God's great name be glorified,
What me concerns faith can foretell,
My Jesus shall do all things well.
WIDOWHOOD.
WRITTEN IN THE ISLAND OF ANTIGUA
SHORTLY AFTER DR. GRAHAM'S DEATH.
PART I.
Hail; thou state of widowhood,
State of those that mourn to God;
Who, from earthly comforts torn,
Only live to pray and mourn.
Meanest of the number, I
For my dear companion sigh;
Patiently my loss deplore,
Mourn for one that mourns no more.
Me my consort hath outrun,
Out of sight he quite has gone;
He his course has finished here,
First come to the sepulchre.
Following on with earnest haste,
Till my mourning days are past,
I my partner's steps pursue,
I shall soon be happy too;
Find the ease for which I pant,
Gain the only good I want;
Quietly lay down my head,
Sink into my earthy bed.
There my flesh shall rest in hope,
Till the quickened dust mount up,
When to glorious life I'll rise,
To meet my husband in the skies.
PART II.
Happy they who trust in Jesus,
Jesus turns our loss to gain;
Still his balmy mercies ease us,
Sweeten all our grief and pain.
When he calls our friends t' inherit
All the glories of the blest,
He assures the widowed spirit,
"Thou shalt quickly be at rest."
Though my flesh and spirit languish,
Let me not too much complain;
Sure at last t' outlive my anguish,
Sure to find my friend again.
Ransomed from a world of sorrow,
He to-day is taken home;
I shall be released to-morrow--
Come, my dear Redeemer, come.
From my sanctified distresses,
Now, or when thou wilt, receive;
Grant with him in thine embraces,
After all my deaths, to live.
PART III.
Hail, holy, holy, holy Lord,
Mysterious Three in One!
For ever be thy name adored,
Thy will for ever done.
For this alone on earth I wait,
To glorify my God;
And suffer, since thou will'st, the state
Of sacred widowhood.
And may I, in thy strength, fulfil
My awful character;
And prove thine acceptable will,
And do thy pleasure here;
The children to thyself restore,
Whom thou to me hast given;
And rule my house with all my power,
And train them up for heaven.
Be this my hospitable care:
The stranger to receive,
The burden of thy church to bear,
And all their wants relieve;
My labor of unwearied love
With pleasure to repeat,
My faith unto thy saints to prove,
And gladly wash their feet.
The servant of thy servants bless
With active earnest zeal;
And every work of righteousness
I shall with joy fulfil.
LINES,
Occasioned by viewing the portrait of Mrs. Graham, prefixed to the
first edition of her memoir. By the late Mrs. Margaret Brown,
daughter of Rev. Dr. John Mason.
While in this faded form I trace
The features which I loved so well,
Remembrance brings each mental grace
Within its hallowed shrine to dwell.
For I have seen that darkened eye
In all the fire of genius roll,
With eagle-gaze explore the sky,
Or with a keener glance descry
The secret workings of the soul.
And I have seen this pallid cheek
Suffused with feeling's richest glow;
And virtue's brightest halo deck
With sacred charms these locks of snow.
And on these lips in silence closed,
With rapt attention oft I hung,
And heard those wondrous truths disclosed
Which sages taught or seraphs sung.
And I have known this withered hand
Extended wide the poor to bless;
And this contracted breast expand
With generous schemes to aid distress.
And now, though far removed from earth
And every scene of mortal pain,
This dear memorial of her worth
Shall many a drooping heart sustain.
Still shall it dry the widow's tear,
The hapless orphan's want supply,
Guide to a blessed asylum here,
And point to happier realms on high.
My father's friend--how poor the praise,
By his unworthy offspring given,
Who thus records, in humble lays,
What angels registered in heaven.
FRANKFORT, Kentucky, August, 1816.
One hundred dollars was paid by John W. Hamersley, Esq. of New
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