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Title: Ein Ehzuchtbüchlein
Author: Hermann Oeser
Illustrator: Rudolf Schäfer
Release Date: May 20, 2018 [EBook #57187]
Language: German
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK EIN EHZUCHTBÜCHLEIN ***
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+------------------------------------------------+
Ein
Ehzuchtbüchlein.
von
Hermann Oeser.
Verlegt bei Eugen Salzer in Heilbronn.
Copyright 1913 by Eugen Salzer, Heilbronn.
Das Buch schmückte Rudolf Schäfer, den Druck
besorgte Buchdruckerei Scheufele, Stuttgart.
Einhundertelftes bis einhundertzwanzigstes Tausend
Im Jahre 1578 ließ Johann Fischart
aus Mainz sein philosophisch
Ehzuchtbüchlein in Straßburg
im Elsaß erscheinen. /
Ehzuchtbüchlein wurden immer
erlebt, nicht bloß 1578.
Dies ist mein Ehzuchtbüchlein und
beginnt also:
Verheiratet sein ist nicht nötig.
Glücklich verheiratet sein ist
nötig.
Ehe sollte nie als
Filtrierapparat für getrübte
Seelen dienen.
Es gibt Ehen, die erst nach dem
Tode des einen Ehegefährten
mit diesem geschlossen
werden.
Es gibt Ehen, die mit dem Tode
des einen Eheteils endigen.
Es gibt Ehen, die Ehe sind.
Wer über den Ehegefährten bei
anderen klagt, der bricht
die Ehe.
Ehe ruht auf unbedingtem
Vertrauen. Daher die
Diskretion in der Ehe.
Das »unbedingte Vertrauen«
zeigt sich darin, daß
man dem Ehegefährten
sein Geheimnis gönnt.
Es kann eine Lähmung in der
Ehe eintreten. »+Früher+
warst du anders -- --,
+früher+ tatest du dies
und das -- --«, -- das
ist die Lähmung.
Wenn ein Ehegefährte die
Ähnlichkeit des Kindes
mit dem anderen Eheteile
betont, -- +betont+, --
-- das ist meist ein
verborgener Kleinkrieg.
Auf alle Kunst und jeden Beruf
bereitet sich der Mensch vor,
nur auf den schwersten Beruf
nicht, auf die Ehe.
Wer in die Ehe tritt, ohne den
festen Willen: nur Du -- --
tritt neben die Ehe.
Ehe ist dienen.
Wer sich bedienen läßt, so, daß
er sich bedienen läßt, bricht
die Ehe.
»Recht behalten haben« --
ist für den Liebenden das
traurigste Geschäft.
»Wieder einmal recht gehabt« --
hat nur der Nichtliebende.
Nicht recht gehabt zu haben ist
ein süßes Glück.
Nur in der Ehe gibt es keinen
Streit, wo +ein+ Teil um
keinen Preis recht behalten
will.
Ich rede von Menschen, wie
sie sind.
Darum sage ich:
Sprich keinen Vorwurf aus.
Es gibt keinen, den du ihm
machen könntest, den der
andere nicht schon längst
im stillen gegen dich
erhoben hat.
Wer nicht das +erste+ Wort
nach Spannungen findet,
soll nicht heiraten.
Wer glücklich werden will,
soll nicht heiraten.
Glücklich machen -- da
liegt es.
Wer verstanden werden will,
soll nicht heiraten.
Verstehen -- da liegt es.
Wer nicht das Gefühl kennt, mit
dem ein Mensch sein Leben
fühlt, kennt ihn gar nicht,
-- und handelt es sich um
Mutter und Sohn -- -- und
handelt es sich um Mann
und Frau.
Erinnerung, Hoffnung und
Gewissen, zusammengeflossen
in +einen+ Strom -- -- das
ist das Lebensgefühl.
Was ist das höchste Gebot der
Ehe?
»Liebe deinen Nächsten!«
Wer aber ist mein Nächster?
»Der keine Geduld mit dir
hat.« »Der gegen +alle+
Selbstbeherrschung hat,
nur nicht gegen dich.«
»Der den Ausläufer schont,
aber nicht dich.« »Der
dich kennt und dir doch
falsche Beweggründe
unterschiebt -- -- --.«
»Darum, +liebe+ deinen
Nächsten, und abermal
+darum+ liebe deinen
Nächsten.«
Sei größer als der Augenblick.
Sei immer größer als der
Augenblick.
Sei nie geringer als der
Augenblick.
Ach, die »Enttäuschten!« Ach,
die »Gekränkten!« Ach, die
»Unverstandenen!«
Sei immer größer als der
Augenblick! Wie wolltest du
sonst die Kleinheit der Sache
erkennen?
Sei nie geringer als der
Augenblick, wie überständest
du sonst die Scham, daß du
kleiner warst als das Kleine?
Man kann »Ehe« übersetzen.
_Mariage_ heißt's im
Französischen,
Geduld -- im Deutschen,
Besonnenheit -- im Deutschen,
Güte -- im Deutschen,
nicht Ich -- im Deutschen,
Immer nur Du -- im Deutschen,
Sich über das Gleiche freuen
-- im Deutschen,
Über das Gleiche weinen --
im Deutschen.
In der wahren Ehe werden
die Gefährten jünger,
immer jünger, alle Jahre
weiter, immer etwas jünger.
In der Ehe wächst der
Gesprächsstoff, denn immer
tiefer führt die gemeinsame
Rede in den Sinn des Lebens,
in die Seelen der Begegnenden.
Stumme Liebe -- schmeckt nach
Musäus' Märchen.
Liebe redet.
Möbelgemeinschaft ist keine Ehe.
Es ist gut sich aussprechen
können. Es ist gefährlich,
es nicht zu können.
Gott gab dem Ehegefährten
die Ohren, damit er die
Klagen des andern anhört
-- liebreich anhört!
Liebreich anhören, nicht
geduldig -- da liegt es.
Den Ehegefährten, zum
gesellschaftlichen Spiel,
vor anderen ironisieren,
-- bricht die Ehe.
Ehe schützt wie eine Mutter
ihr Kind -- »Ehe« deckt
den Gefährten. Ehe steht
wie ein Offizier, wie ein
Student für die Ehre des
Kameraden ein.
Tief sieht die Liebe. Sie
sieht alle Schwächen des
Geliebten. Darum ist sie
Arzt und Schleier.
Wer nicht sich gegenüber den
Ton verträgt, den er gegen
den Ehegefährten hat, der
prüfe sich. Der prüfe sich.
Der liebt nicht die »Wahrheit«,
der sie andern sagt. Nur der
+liebt+ die Wahrheit, der
sie gegen sich verträgt.
Ehe geht vor dem Scheuern.
Ehe geht vor der Zeitung.
Ehe geht vor dem Bügeln.
Ehe geht vor dem Beruf.
Ehe ruft immer: »Heim!
Ach, nur heim!«
Zeit haben für den Ehegefährten,
ist wichtiger als Geld für ihn
haben.
Ein Ehegefährte darf +sein+
Eigenleben begraben.
Kein Ehegefährte darf
Totengräber im Leben
des andren sein.
»Höchste Liebe schweigt« --
so las ich einmal.
Ach, nein!
Höchste Liebe +tröstet+
den +Beleidiger+.
Vor Fremden schweigen,
wo ein Ehegefährte den
andern im Stiche läßt,
ist selbstverständlich.
Der Liebende schweigt +dann+
aber auch in der Zweisamkeit.
»Warte nur, wenn ich dich
allein kriege« -- das sagten
die Flegel, als ich ein
Kind war.
Manchmal +muß+ ein Ehegefährte
reden.
Er ist ja Arzt gegenüber
dem Ehegefährten. Er ist
ja Freund gegenüber dem
Ehegefährten.
Ehe ist Gewissensgemeinschaft.
Wenn nur kein Ehemann Angst vor
dem Pantoffel hätte. Hat er
dann nicht Furcht ein
Liebender zu sein?
Wer sich vor der Nachrede
fürchtet, er sei ein
Pantoffelheld, hat Furcht,
als ein Liebender zu
erscheinen.
Liebe heißt -- »nur du!«
»Sein« Bier, sein
»Stammtisch«, sein
»bischen Erholung«
-- -- -- ach, du
lieber Himmel.
Die Liebe hat so süße Worte:
»Hilf mir vor mir selbst«
-- »die du mich verwundest,
heilst mich« -- »du
Sorgender, immer Wacher«
-- »du Herzenstraut« --
solch süße Worte hat die
Liebe.
Höchste Liebe rinnet dahin --
-- wie die Bergwasser, wo
nur immer Tiefen sind, also
weiß man nie im voraus, was
höchste Liebe tun wird.
Ehe ist wachsein.
Ehe ist wie der Türmer, Ehe
ist wie die Schildwacht,
Ehe ist wie die Mutter des
kranken Kindes, Ehe ist wie
der Hüter des Gottesvolkes.
Ehe ist wachsein.
Entziehe keines dem andern
die Sonne.
Ohne Sonne dahin gehen,
+einen+ Tag, +zwei+ Tage,
viele Tage, -- -- --
es ist schrecklich.
Entziehe keines dem andern
die Sonne.
Ehe ist Anbetung.
Nicht Anbetung des andern.
Ehe bedarf einen Glauben.
Wie, es wären da zwei und
er wäre nicht mitten unter
ihnen?
Wie, es wären da zwei, und
ihre Wangen glühten nicht
für etwas, das sie lieben,
das sie +lieben+?
Ehe ist keine
Erwerbsgemeinschaft.
Ehe ist das Daheimsein im
Guten, Adligen, Nobeln,
im Schönen, in der Erlösung
von der Knechtschaft des
Kleinlichen, der Selbstsucht
und der Ungüte.
Wer ein Ehezuchtbüchlein
schreibt, schreibt eine
Selbstanklage.
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