The Project Gutenberg eBook of Cosmic striptease
This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online
at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States,
you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located
before using this eBook.
Title: Cosmic striptease
Author: Harlan Ellison
Release date: May 24, 2024 [eBook #73682]
Language: English
Original publication: New York, NY: Ziff-Davis Publishing Company, 1957
Credits: Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK COSMIC STRIPTEASE ***
COSMIC STRIPTEASE
By E. K. JARVIS
_A picture is worth a thousand words--especially if they're Martian
words and nobody can understand them. So Mars put on a spectacular
for Earth, using the skies as a TV screen. This proved the
superiority of their science. But their morals--Wow!_
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Fantastic January 1958.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
The Atlas didn't make it--it blew up. And so did the Thor. The
Vulcan wasn't much better; it just went _pfftt_. None of them got
anywhere near outer space--the _real_ outer space. Oh, yes, they
went up hundreds of miles, even thousands. The Vulcan went nearly
five thousand. But they were still in the Electro-Magnetic Field.
Nobody really understood the EMF. Einstein had hit on it with his
final theory, before he died. He said gravity and magnetism were just
manifestations of something else, some single thing that held the very
secret of matter.
It was suspected that the Vulcan had reached the limits of the EMF, but
nobody was sure. You can't be very sure about a thing that just goes
_pfftt_, and then isn't there any more. Not there at all! That's what
radar said, and telescopes, and theodolites, and every other detection
apparatus conceivable. Not until the Jason went up where no rocket had
ever gone were they sure. Sure that man would never leave the confines
of his EMF--at least until he solved the problem of the nature of the
EMF. And that seemed the problem of the nature of matter itself. You'll
have to admit, that's a difficult problem to tackle.
Yes, they tackled it. Theories were a dime a dozen. But just _what_
the EMF really was, nobody could say even mathematically. Instead of
wasting money on rockets that went _pfftt_, they began to investigate
space with rays, frequencies, radiations, echoes, electronic things
the man in the street just didn't understand. What he did understand,
however, was the answer that came back from space, as a result of all
this electronic probing.
Mars picked us up, and answered!
We thought we had quite a bit of electronic science. But we turned
out to be babes in the woods. The Martians knew more about rays and
waves and frequencies and vibrations than the Yanks knew about buying
baseball players. They had a real cool signal. They called it the
Resonating Magnetic Field. You know what a resonating field is, don't
you? It's like a great big drum--you hit it right, and it'll vibrate
with the biggest boom you ever heard. It resonates.
* * * * *
Our scientists knew how to resonate crystals; but the Martians could
resonate the atmosphere. And when they resonated our atmosphere, every
Earthman dug them, no matter where he was. That's the way their first
signal reached us--a resonant voice sounded clearly everywhere on
Earth, speaking in the language of the area in which it was heard. It
was all a matter of resonant pitch. A thought has a basic wave, and
it can be keyed to any pitch. When you say something, you express a
thought by resonating the atmosphere. No matter if you speak English,
or German, or Brooklyn--it's all the same thought. Well, when the
Martians talked, we, each of us, were our own wave converter, and the
vibrations that hit our eardrums came out whatever language we talked.
How did they do it? Well, how do you explain electronic knowledge as
advanced as that? You're right, they didn't. They didn't even try. They
said we wouldn't get it anyway, so why waste air-time?
A few of our big-domes were incensed, but the Martians let them smoke.
They said they'd been watching our rocket efforts, and had figured we
were pretty stupid, since everybody in the Solar System (and outside it
for that matter) knew you couldn't lick the EMF with rockets. But then
we'd started our electronic probing of outer space, and they lifted
their mental eyebrows. It, they said, gave them the itch to give us a
few pointers.
You can imagine the fuss there was in the Pentagon; and in the Kremlin
for that matter. Here was a chance to load up on classified stuff of
the highest order, and something called an RMF was the biggest leak the
world had ever known.
Well, the Martians deep-froze that kind of idea right away. They
weren't going to have any truck with secrets, especially secret
weapons. They gave us quite a ribbing about weapons, and there were
a lot of red faces on Earth. They were civilized, they said, and
even their plows had been beaten into resonators. They had a highly
developed moral sense, and the word war appeared in their dictionaries
only in the archaic section.
They were going to tell us a lot of things, to be sure, but they were
going to elevate us. They were going to make real ladies and gentlemen
out of us, like they were. And as a beginning, they said they were
going to put on a pageant. They were going to depict life on Mars for
us as it was today, in all its glory and perfection, and they were
going to do it in the form of a play.
You can picture the Broadway producers perking up their ears at this,
and right away they began thinking of the whole thing in the terms of
a "production." Naturally, when the Martians said it would be done via
world-wide television, the big networks immediately sensed a big deal,
and they jumped almost as high as Vulcan.
But the Martians said the broadcast didn't need receivers, but that
the sky itself would be the TV screen. This was going to be exactly
the opposite of closed-circuit TV. This was wide open--as wide open as
Minsky's in the Twenties.
* * * * *
Nobody knows how they did it, but NBC and CBS got a dual contract with
the Martians for the commercials! Yes, it's true. The Martians agreed
to monitor their commercials, and then rebroadcast them as part of the
Big Show that was to introduce Earthmen to Martians.
The sponsors weren't difficult to sell! They fell all over themselves
to get spots on the program.
Actually, the whole thing was the most serious development in world
history. Picture it for yourself. Out of a clear sky, one day (and
night, because it involved the whole Earth in the same instant) a voice
came from outer space, from Mars, and introduced us to a form of life
our scientists had always claimed was a member of the lichen family,
but which actually was a lot more human than you are. What we had
thought was the lowest form of mossback, was actually the highest human
civilization in the solar system. Wedgewood china, suspension bridges,
and hot dogs were old stuff thirty thousand years ago with the
Martians. They were really advanced. And when we understood it (most of
us, that is) we felt mighty flattered to think that they were going to
try to rub some of it off on us.
* * * * *
Actually the Big Show idea was a good one. Their psychologists had
studied us, and had decided that the best way to educate us was the
painless way--by entertaining us. They knew how TV fascinated us. They
noted our bowed shoulders, our kinked necks, our TV squint. What more
natural thing than to put on the biggest TV show of all, and at the
same time take the bow out of our shoulders, the kink out of our necks,
and restore the focus of our eyes to the natural one of infinity?
The whole sky was going to become one gigantic television screen, in
perfect focus, in full (how full we never imagined until we saw it!)
color, and in Three-D.
This Big Show, they said, was going to come in like cosmic rays, from
every direction, but seeming to focus directly overhead. Every seat
in the house would be the best seat in the house. You were the entire
audience, sitting in the one seat, surrounded from horizon to zenith
by the entire stage. The Earth's EMF, they said, was a perfect lens
shape--and it formed a perfect focus on the center of the Earth. The
atmosphere was a perfect lens also, because it was governed by, and in
fact owed its existence, as did the entire Earth, to the EMF.
Ever stop to think that it's the EMF that makes the direction exactly
opposite to your feet the direction we call up, no matter where we
stand on Earth? To a Chinese, up is the other way. It's the EMF does
that. The EMF, expressing itself as gravity. There really isn't
anything called gravity, as an entity. The EMF is the entity, and
gravity is one of its legs. Magnetism is the other. Maybe the only way
you could describe the EMF would be to call it the body. And nobody
knows what the head is!
The egotist who thinks he is the center of the universe may be right
after all. Except that he's not alone. Everybody else is at the center
too!
Not that Edith Miller was ego-centric. She was beautiful, yes, but not
ego-centric. She was not only beautiful, but she was private secretary
to Herman Fendler, head of the new NBC-CBS Big Show Merger. It was
quite true that she would not have been secretary had she not been
beautiful. After all, it's what you see on TV that counts, and the
bosses never let that fact get very far out of their minds. Anything
that couldn't go before a camera, didn't go in TV, _anywhere_. Edith
went _everywhere_. She was the kind of a girl who, when you saw her,
you wanted to see more--and you cursed the "things as they are" that
made it impossible. It just wasn't fair, was the thought that instantly
suggested itself as you saw enough to realize there was much more.
* * * * *
That was the thought that Roy Mallory usually carried in his mind as he
went about his business of Production and Coordination. And sometimes
it effected his coordination, but never his production. As a TV
producer, he was tops. And now, the youngest man in the sharpest of all
businesses, he was assigned to handle the biggest "spectacular" of them
all. To give you an idea of how highly regarded he was, having given
him the assignment, Herman Fendler also gave him his secretary--but
strictly on loan.
Roy's face was flushed as he walked back to his office, Edith beside
him, Fendler's words still ringing in his ears.
"The Big Show!" he breathed. "Wow!"
"Not too big for you," said Edith.
"Not with you to handle the details," he returned, gallantly.
"That will be wise," she said.
"Huh?" he said.
"To let me do all the handling."
He flushed a different kind of flush now. "What makes you think...."
"The look on your face when Mr. Fendler said you could have me. I've
seen that look hundreds of times, and it always means the same thing."
"But...." he protested.
"We understand each other perfectly, don't we?" she asked sweetly.
"Yes. We have our desks in separate offices."
"No we don't. I intend to sit with my desk directly opposite you so I
can keep my eye on you at all times. Mr. Fendler gave me the job of
seeing that you do your job, and I'm going to do it."
"Sadist," he snapped.
"Of course," she agreed. "But can I help it?"
He looked at her, and suddenly he grinned. "No, you can't. But with
you sitting across from me, that realization won't lessen my sufferings
any."
"It won't be so bad," she said. "You can look."
"You _are_ a sadist!" he exclaimed.
* * * * *
The Big Show opened with a commercial. Roy and Edith were sitting atop
the roof of the central studio, relaxing in contour chairs. Roy's chair
adjusted to his figure comfortably as he leaned back, but Edith's found
the task impossible. She squirmed about until Roy glanced at her and
remarked: "Why don't you give up? The chair isn't made that can fit
those curves. You've just got too much of a good thing, that's all."
"It isn't the chair," she said, "it's that commercial. Just look at it!"
Roy stared at the huge box of breakfast food that loomed across the
entire sky.
"The sponsor is probably delirious with joy," he said. "Did you ever
see such color, and such sharpness of focus? It's so vivid you can
almost reach right up and touch it. It's _really_ there, not a picture!"
"But what a thing to open the most important historical event of all
time--the establishment of visual communication with another planet!"
"I get what you mean," said Roy. "But if you don't stop squirming, I'll
find myself unable to concentrate on the Big Show."
Footsteps behind them announced the late arrival of Herman Fendler,
and he literally hurled himself into his contour chair as he puffed:
"Stupendous! Utterly stupendous! And to think that we've got the
contract for these commercials!"
Now the scene changed, and it was Fendler himself, announcing the
Big Show. Fendler beamed as his own voice rolled out of the sky,
sonorous and dignified and with the clarity of a golden bell, slightly
amalgamated with bronze.
"Ladies and gentlemen of the world. We bring you now the Big Show. The
sensational Martian television broadcast of the Pageant of Life as it
is lived on Mars. It is with great pride that we announce that through
the combined efforts of NBC-CBS we bring you the most historic event in
television history, or in the Earth's history, for that matter.
"You all know how the Martians first communicated with us from space.
You all heard the voice that came to us so unexpectedly. But now, at
last, we can see as well as hear! For the first time you will see
our fellow men and women from Mars, enacting before you the glorious
pageant of their 35,000 year history.
"It is through this history that they hope to acquaint you with
themselves, so that we can go on through the future as brother worlds,
understanding each other, respecting each other, loving each other.
It is true that our Martian brothers are far advanced over us, in the
mechanics of civilization as well as the moral values. It is also
true that as we watch, we will be forced to revise many of our own
standards, but all for the better. It is the fond hope of the Martians,
and of the many among us who are concerned with our future development,
the governments, the churches, the universities, that we will be
speeded up along the path of civilization upon which the Martians have
so long trod.
"Let us pray that what we see now, and in the days to follow, nay, the
weeks and months, for it will be a pageant of tremendous length to show
the history of 35,000 years, will be as a leaven to enlarge our lives,
and catapult us into a higher development that can enrich us beyond our
dreams.
"My fellow men, I give you--the Martians!"
* * * * *
A burst of applause followed, and Fendler beamed. "You think of
everything, my boy," he approved. "Makes the show seem more live."
Roy looked at Edith and snorted, almost inaudibly. She looked back. "No
matter what you think," she whispered, "I can tell you he expected it,
and your name would be mud if you hadn't included it. Don't let it go
to your head."
"That's right," whispered Roy sarcastically. "Look out for me like a
mother."
Another voice came now, and with it the face of the first Martian ever
seen on Earth.
Edith gasped for breath. "He's _beautiful_!"
The wind sagged out of Roy's sails, "Oh, no!" he groaned. "The last
thing I expected--competition!"
"Not at all," said Edith. "You never had a chance!"
"He'll never lay a hand on you," said Roy maliciously. "Unless he can
do it over TV."
"If he could, I think I'd let him," returned Edith sweetly.
"Your cruelty is savage beyond comprehension," growled Roy. "Why don't
you jump off the roof...." His voice trailed away as he listened to the
Martian.
"Fellow men and women of Earth," came the voice, exquisitely clear and
cultured. "We are happy to present ourselves to you. In order that you
may know us completely, we will begin with what we on Mars consider
the most important facet of our lives--the family. The next thing you
will see is a Martian wedding, which is really the beginning of living
on Mars. Until the day a Martian man and woman join themselves as a
family, to begin the wonderful task of continuing the race, it cannot
be said that they have really been alive, but only going through the
first faint stirrings of life as it really is. Look now upon a Martian
wedding day."
* * * * *
As the voice faded away, the face of the Martian, which had filled the
whole sky, began to recede, and as it did so, his shoulders came into
view, his bronzed chest, his perfectly formed arms, his gleaming nude
torso....
[Illustration: Millions of Earthlings gaped while the Martian show went
on.]
"Oh, my goodness!" screamed Edith, sitting erect in her chair. "Oh, my
goodness!"
"He's stark naked!" roared Fendler. "Mallory, he's nude as a jaybird!"
"So I see," said Roy uncomfortably. "Rather makes the classical
sculptures of the ancient Greeks seem crude by comparison, doesn't he?"
"Eh?" said Fendler. "Oh ... yes, he ... does.... I see what you mean.
But ..." he subsided and relaxed in his chair, because now the figure
had vanished. "Classical art, personified. Great artists, those
Martians must be...."
Roy looked covertly at Edith, who was trembling and trying to compose
herself as she too returned to her reclining position.
"Eight, nine, ten," he muttered.
"What did you say?" asked Edith faintly, her composure returning.
"Just counting myself out," said Roy sadly. "If that's what it takes,
I'm long gone."
Once more the gigantic television screen of the sky came to life, and
this time Roy Mallory sat erect. "This is more like it!" he exclaimed
with renewed interest.
The scene was a great cathedral-like building, with the rays of the sun
streaming redly through fantastically carved windows that seemed made
of diamonds. Walking straight toward them came a young woman, smiling
radiantly, and bearing in her arms a large bouquet of the most vivid
and exotic flowers Roy had ever seen. Except for the flowers she wore
absolutely nothing other than a gold band around her forehead, in the
center of which was a gigantic, blood-red ruby.
* * * * *
Standing on both sides were long rows of smiling men and women, two by
two, and in common with the girl who advanced down the aisle between
them, they were all completely naked.
"One thing seems certain," said Fendler. "Clothing is unknown on Mars.
I hadn't suspected, but I suppose it would be best to make nothing of
it."
"Exactly, Mr. Fendler," said Roy. "God created man and woman in the
Garden of Eden, unclothed, and it was only the warping effect of sin in
their minds that made them wear clothing. Obviously on Mars this either
never happened, or they have returned to godliness and purity."
"You're right, my boy," said Fendler, beginning to beam again. And this
time he beamed with distinct pleasure. "Beautiful, aren't they?"
"Terrific!" said Roy.
"The flowers are lovely," said Edith bravely. "She carries them so
gracefully."
"Flowers?" said Roy absently. "Oh, yes, flowers. Very nice. Geraniums,
aren't they? Look! She's giving them to the audience!"
"There's the groom," said Fendler. "My ... she's a lucky girl!"
Edith threw the executive a look that should have made him sink
through the roof, but he didn't see it. She returned her gaze quickly
to the heavens and tried to stare composedly. Once again she found it
difficult to find a comfortable position in her chair.
For long minutes the three along with every other person on Earth,
watched the ensuing ceremony, which was simple, direct, noble and
uplifting. Background music that began as a murmur, grew until it
became a virtual pæan of joy as the young Martian couple announced
their eternal vows in ringing tones. Then, before the assembled
audience, they removed their golden circlets from about their heads,
and exchanged them. Obviously this completed the wedding ceremony, for
now they clasped their arms around each other and kissed, long and
tenderly.
"It is ... lovely," said Edith wistfully.
Now the young couple, arm in arm, advanced slowly up a few steps toward
an ornate couch, around which burned candles with flames of a color
never seen on Earth.
"Eh?" said Fendler. He leaned forward anxiously.
"Oh!" said Edith, her hand flying to her mouth as though to stifle any
further outburst.
"Ah!" said Roy.
The couple advanced to the couch and sat down upon it. A moment
of incredulous silence was broken as Fendler leaped to his feet.
"Mallory!" he roared. "Get that show off the air! Cut the power! Smash
the cameras! Do anything! The FCC will murder us!"
"There's no power to cut," said Roy. "This isn't our show--remember.
Just the commercials."
"Then put on a commercial! Hurry, man!"
"Right in the middle of the show?" asked Roy. "Besides, _they_ control
the commercials too. Immediately after this scene, as I understand
it, they'll put on the breakfast cereal again. And it will be rather
well-timed, I'd say...."
Edith rose to her feet, her face flaming. "You've got to do
_something_...."
"I don't know what," said Roy, looking at the sky intently. "Besides,
isn't this what they got married for?" He settled himself more
comfortably.
Fendler turned and raced from the roof. "Somebody turn that thing off!"
he screamed. His voice floated back to Roy and Edith on the roof. It
died away in the recesses of the building.
"Nobody can turn it off," said Roy. "And it's going to go on for
months...."
"For months!" exclaimed Edith, horrified. She cast a glance upward,
then turned away, clenching her fists, and biting her lips.
"What's the matter?" asked Roy. "Can't you take it?"
She stamped her foot. "Roy Mallory, you say one more word, and I'll...."
Roy shrugged. "I'm surprised at you. Offhand, I'd say the Martians were
highly advanced, sensible, uninhibited, pretty wonderful human beings.
At least they know what they're living for. Maybe it would do you good
to watch."
Edith looked up momentarily at the sky, then lowered her gaze swiftly.
"I ... I can't!" she whispered. Then she too ran from the roof and
disappeared down the stairway.
Roy looked after her a moment, then shrugged and returned to his
contour chair and settled himself deeply into it.
As the Big Show went on, he had no idea of the turmoil that was
sweeping the world. It was only when the day's performance was over and
he went down to his office that he got his first inkling. It consisted
of the discovery that he had been fired--at the request of a certain
breakfast cereals company.
* * * * *
By noon the next day every sponsor who had signed up for the Big Show
had cancelled their contracts, and by midnight it became painfully
obvious that although the contracts could easily be cancelled, it was
not equally easy to cancel the show. That night the Big Show went on,
depicting more of the family life of the Martians, taking Earth viewers
through a typical day of a Martian couple on the day of the birth of
their first child. To many of those who watched the show, it offered
a tremendous fascination; but to others, more squeamish and unable to
face the naked realities, both of the flesh and of the business of
giving birth to a baby, neither of which spared any detail in their
presentation, it was an experience past their ability to endure.
However, as one prominent physician said: "_This_ is the way a baby
should be born! Every woman on Earth can take a lesson from what we
have just seen ... if they did we'd have little use for doctors,
psychiatrists or psychologists. This is the miracle of birth as it was
meant to be."
It was the unfortunate sponsor who made the loudest noise, though. His
screams were heard the world over. His brand of beer, spoken of in such
glowing terms before and after the broadcast, wasn't worth a nickel
after the Martians did a re-run of the show depicting how the birth
would have gone if the mother had been a drunkard. Now, indeed, were
there faintings and mental blowups among the populace. The scene _was_
rather ghastly. Some thought the Martians had overdone it, but as the
president of the W.C.T.U. remarked triumphantly: "Exactly what we've
been saying for decades!"
At midnight the FCC suspended the license of the NBC-CBS Big Show
Merger, and Herman Fendler himself lost his job. Along with him, of
course, Edith Miller became unemployed, although no woman in that
category could claim to be more beautifully unemployed.
* * * * *
Roy Mallory, visiting his office to remove some of his personal
belongings, found her emptying her own desk.
"Oh," he said. "Another casualty?"
"You read the papers, don't you?" she asked.
"Yes, I heard of the FCC closing the networks up. But it hasn't stopped
the show. Tonight, you know, is the Martian version of what they do
for entertainment. I suppose we'll be watching that happy young couple
going out on the town and doing it up brown, or buff, as you might
say...."
"_You_ will be watching," Edith cut in acidly. "I have no doubt at all.
As for me...."
"Certainly I'll be watching. That doll is almost as beautiful as you
are, and I keep thinking how nice it would be if we were on Mars."
"We're not," she said. "And we won't ever be."
"Alas!" he said glumly. "And alack!"
"You're as funny as a crutch," she said, stuffing the last of her
belongings into her bag. "You ought to get yourself a job as a
comedian."
"Oh, I've already got a job," he said airily.
"Oh?"
"Yes."
She stood there, poised as if to leave, but not actually translating
the poise into action.
"Where?" she asked, setting down her bag with a defiant slam.
"I could use a good secretary," he said.
"Tell me where you're working," she demanded impatiently.
"I'm starting my own business in television producing," he said. "And
I'll never make it go without a competent secretary, and ..." he put
his hands behind his back, "... look, no hands."
"I'll take the job," she said. "And what are you doing for your first
show?"
"Give me time," he grinned. "I just this minute started the new
company."
"I thought so," she said calmly. "Well, how about the Big Show?"
"The Big Show!"
"Why not?"
"Who'll we get for a sponsor?" he asked sarcastically.
"How about Sunbathing Magazine?" she suggested.
He looked at her wide-eyed. "Sunbathing Magazine!" he gasped.
"Of course. With all this publicity, their circulation will zoom to the
moon, if they just grab it--and it's up to you to see that they do!"
"Baby," he said wonderingly, "I just don't know how to take you."
"Don't try it," she said, picking up a letter-knife and toying with it.
* * * * *
Exactly one week later the Martians dropped all their previously
scheduled commercials, and put on the first of the new commercials. As
Roy Mallory reclined in the contour chair atop the roof of his newly
rented office, Edith Miller suddenly appeared at his side and looked
around.
"Where's my chair?" she asked.
He leaped to his feet. "I didn't think you cared to watch the Big
Show," he said. "I only ordered one chair. You're always yelling about
extravagance...."
"All right," she said. "I'll sit on the parapet."
"You'll get a stiff neck."
"I've already got one," she said.
"I'll say you have," he said disgustedly. "But why not forget all that?
This chair is big enough for two."
"I don't need this job that bad."
He grunted and sat down in the chair again. "Okay. But tell me if your
neck does get stiff--I'll change off with you, fifty-fifty."
"Fair enough," she said.
The show began, and there was silence on the roof. Edith watched
calmly, and Roy divided his attention between watching her and the
show. As the show progressed, it became obvious that the script was
perfect for the new sponsor.
"We'll make a million on that percentage agreement," said Edith.
"Two million," said Roy. "I think I'll make you a partner for that bit
of masterminding."
"Keep it," she said. "And by the way, isn't that the roof of the
Sunbathing Magazine building over there?"
"Yes."
"And isn't that the editorial staff of Sunbathing Magazine out on the
roof watching the show?"
"Yes."
"And aren't they in the buff, as you so crudely put it, in spite of the
fact the sun isn't out?"
Roy sat up in his chair and looked sharply at the roof in question. In
the vivid light from the sky-pictures, which now were showing a happy
couple soaring fantastically in a Martian equivalent of the aerial
gadgets of Coney Island, still unimpeded by the briefest of entangling
garments, it was quite obvious that the editorial staff of Sunbathing
Magazine was indeed buffing it.
"They're pretty modern over there," he said. "You can't blame them for
practicing what they preach."
"But isn't this an innovation?"
"I believe so. Usually they limit their activities to private camps."
"I heard today that there were new teenage clubs being formed,
patterned after the Big Show," said Edith.
"Clubs?"
"Yes. The police arrested a whole group of them in Sandusky, Ohio, for
stripping off their clothes during a local hop."
"That's not so good," said Roy.
"Oh, I don't know. They weren't really doing anything wrong."
Roy almost choked. "Nothing wrong...."
"No. They were conducting the whole affair on a highly moral plane. The
police let them go, and dismissed the case when their parents showed
up and suggested that it was all rather natural, and that they felt no
harm had been done."
"The parents said that?" asked Roy incredulously.
* * * * *
Weeks passed, and the Big Show went on. The audience, which had always
been huge, now became almost universal. And no longer were there any
remarks about nudity, but instead "sunbathing" groups began springing
up everywhere. For a time this development, which began to edge its
way into public places with an accelerated pace, rather than private
camps, stirred up another storm, and there were demands that Sunbathing
Magazine be banned from the newsstands. This fell through when the
authorities pointed out the magazine was tame compared to the show in
the heavens.
Then one day Edith handed the phone to Roy with the remark: "Another
sponsor."
"Who?" asked Roy in surprise.
"The League of Decency," said Edith. "Something about if they can't
lick them, to join them." There was a peculiar look in her eyes as Roy
took the phone and leaned back in his swivel chair to talk. When he
had finished he turned back to Edith and said: "Baby, I've got a hunch
that it won't be long before the only use the people on this Earth
will have for clothing will be for protection from the elements--which
after all, are not as temperate on Earth as they are on Mars, with its
scientifically controlled weather."
"You may be right," she said. She busied herself with her filing
cabinet.
* * * * *
That night as Roy lay back on the roof-chair watching the Martian
version of a musical show, which several weeks ago would have seemed
tremendously daring, it stirred scarcely a flicker in his nervous
system. It was in the middle of the ballet, wherein lovely Martian
girls soared about on twinkling toes gloriously nude, bathed only in
incredibly exotic color symphonies played on them by a master color
organist, that Roy heard the soft pad of footsteps beside him. He heard
Edith seat herself in her chair, but paid no attention, so engrossed
was he in the spectacle before him. But as he lay there, something
nagged at the back of his mind disturbingly, and all at once it hit
him.
Edith's footsteps had had the unmistakable slap of bare feet....
For an instant he lay there frozen, then he turned his head with a
jerk. Edith was lying in her contour chair, composedly looking at the
Big Show. And she was as naked as the day she was born!
He sat up angrily. "This is going too far!" he exploded.
Edith turned to him in wonderment, her eyes wide. "What?" she gasped.
"That's certainly a strange reaction, coming from you!"
"You're as buff as a billiard ball!" he said indignantly, his face
growing red.
"I don't think I look like a billiard ball," she said. "I've always
been under the impression I was rather nice looking. Neither square,
nor perfectly round. Just nicely curved...."
"Your sadism has gone too far this time!" he snapped. "I don't
appreciate it at all. You can sit here and moon-bath if you want to,
I'm going downstairs and work...."
He began to stride toward the roof entrance.
"What's the matter, can't you take it?" she called after him.
He whirled. "If it'll satisfy your sadistic little mind," he said, "I
can't! Now, are you pleased with yourself?"
She looked hurt. "Who's being a sadist?" she said. She stood up and
came toward him.
He grew giddy and for a moment the roof whirled around him. Then all at
once he found himself lying on the roof, and his head cradled on her
lap. He looked up at her.
"You aren't being a sadist?" he persisted.
"Of course not," she said. "After all, the Martians are thirty
thousand years ahead of us, and if it's all right with them ... who am
I to be backward?"
"Baby," he said, drawing her lips down to his, "you've been ahead of
them all the time!"
And all over the Earth mankind took a gigantic step forward, into a new
Eden that promised many good things....
THE END
*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK COSMIC STRIPTEASE ***
Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will
be renamed.
Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright
law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works,
so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United
States without permission and without paying copyright
royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part
of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project
Gutenberg™ electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG™
concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark,
and may not be used if you charge for an eBook, except by following
the terms of the trademark license, including paying royalties for use
of the Project Gutenberg trademark. If you do not charge anything for
copies of this eBook, complying with the trademark license is very
easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose such as creation
of derivative works, reports, performances and research. Project
Gutenberg eBooks may be modified and printed and given away—you may
do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks not protected
by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the trademark
license, especially commercial redistribution.
START: FULL LICENSE
THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
To protect the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting the free
distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase “Project
Gutenberg”), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full
Project Gutenberg™ License available with this file or online at
www.gutenberg.org/license.
Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg™
electronic works
1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg™
electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all
the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or
destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in your
possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a
Project Gutenberg™ electronic work and you do not agree to be bound
by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person
or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
1.B. “Project Gutenberg” is a registered trademark. It may only be
used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few
things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg™ electronic works
even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See
paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project
Gutenberg™ electronic works if you follow the terms of this
agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg™
electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below.
1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation (“the
Foundation” or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection
of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works. Nearly all the individual
works in the collection are in the public domain in the United
States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the
United States and you are located in the United States, we do not
claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing,
displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as
all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope
that you will support the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting
free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg™
works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the
Project Gutenberg™ name associated with the work. You can easily
comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the
same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg™ License when
you share it without charge with others.
1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are
in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States,
check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this
agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing,
distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any
other Project Gutenberg™ work. The Foundation makes no
representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any
country other than the United States.
1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other
immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg™ License must appear
prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg™ work (any work
on which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” appears, or with which the
phrase “Project Gutenberg” is associated) is accessed, displayed,
performed, viewed, copied or distributed:
This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online
at www.gutenberg.org. If you
are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws
of the country where you are located before using this eBook.
1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is
derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not
contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the
copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in
the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are
redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase “Project
Gutenberg” associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply
either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or
obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg™
trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is posted
with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any
additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms
will be linked to the Project Gutenberg™ License for all works
posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the
beginning of this work.
1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg™
License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg™.
1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
Gutenberg™ License.
1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including
any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access
to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg™ work in a format
other than “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other format used in the official
version posted on the official Project Gutenberg™ website
(www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense
to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means
of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original “Plain
Vanilla ASCII” or other form. Any alternate format must include the
full Project Gutenberg™ License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg™ works
unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
access to or distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works
provided that:
• You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
the use of Project Gutenberg™ works calculated using the method
you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed
to the owner of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark, but he has
agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid
within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are
legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty
payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in
Section 4, “Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg
Literary Archive Foundation.”
• You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg™
License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all
copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue
all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg™
works.
• You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of
any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of
receipt of the work.
• You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
distribution of Project Gutenberg™ works.
1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project
Gutenberg™ electronic work or group of works on different terms than
are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing
from the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the manager of
the Project Gutenberg™ trademark. Contact the Foundation as set
forth in Section 3 below.
1.F.
1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project
Gutenberg™ collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg™
electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may
contain “Defects,” such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate
or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other
intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or
other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or
cannot be read by your equipment.
1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the “Right
of Replacement or Refund” described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
Gutenberg™ trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
Gutenberg™ electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
DAMAGE.
1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you
received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium
with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you
with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in
lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person
or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second
opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If
the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing
without further opportunities to fix the problem.
1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you ‘AS-IS’, WITH NO
OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT
LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of
damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement
violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the
agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or
limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or
unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the
remaining provisions.
1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
providing copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in
accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the
production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg™
electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses,
including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of
the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this
or any Project Gutenberg™ work, (b) alteration, modification, or
additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg™ work, and (c) any
Defect you cause.
Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg™
Project Gutenberg™ is synonymous with the free distribution of
electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of
computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It
exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations
from people in all walks of life.
Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg™’s
goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg™ collection will
remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
and permanent future for Project Gutenberg™ and future
generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary
Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see
Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org.
Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non-profit
501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
Revenue Service. The Foundation’s EIN or federal tax identification
number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary
Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by
U.S. federal laws and your state’s laws.
The Foundation’s business office is located at 809 North 1500 West,
Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email contact links and up
to date contact information can be found at the Foundation’s website
and official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact
Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
Literary Archive Foundation
Project Gutenberg™ depends upon and cannot survive without widespread
public support and donations to carry out its mission of
increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
freely distributed in machine-readable form accessible by the widest
array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations
($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
status with the IRS.
The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations
where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND
DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular state
visit www.gutenberg.org/donate.
While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
approach us with offers to donate.
International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
Please check the Project Gutenberg web pages for current donation
methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other
ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To
donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate.
Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg™ electronic works
Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project
Gutenberg™ concept of a library of electronic works that could be
freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and
distributed Project Gutenberg™ eBooks with only a loose network of
volunteer support.
Project Gutenberg™ eBooks are often created from several printed
editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in
the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not
necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper
edition.
Most people start at our website which has the main PG search
facility: www.gutenberg.org.
This website includes information about Project Gutenberg™,
including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
