The Project Gutenberg eBook of The lucky little stiff
This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and
most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online
at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States,
you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located
before using this eBook.
Title: The lucky little stiff
Author: H. P. S. Greene
Release date: April 28, 2024 [eBook #73484]
Language: English
Original publication: United States: The Butterick Publishing Company, 1927
Credits: Roger Frank and Sue Clark
*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LUCKY LITTLE STIFF ***
An air pilot and the field of broken wings
THE LUCKY LITTLE STIFF
By H. P. S. Greene
France. Mud. A khaki-clad column of fours slogging along to the rhythm of
their own muttered but heart-felt blasphemy--a common enough sight in the
winter of 1917-1918.
But in one particular this procession of sufferers was unique. On the
shoulders of each performer shone bright silver bars, and their more or
less manly chests were spanned by Sam Browne belts. A casual observer
would have taken them for officers. But no, on each breast was a pair of
silver wings, and their uniforms were of well-fitting but variously
designed whipcord. The pot-bellied little person in the indecently short
yellow serge blouse who led them was an officer; his followers were flying
lieutenants.
They were a part of the personnel-in-training of the great American
aviation field of Issy-la-Boue, the advance guard of the ten thousand
American bombing planes which publicity agents said were going to blast
the Huns out of Berlin.
The column passed between two long barracks, one of which, filled to
capacity with double-decker bunks, yawned thru an unfinished open end.
“Squads right!” shrilled the pot-bellied one with the captain’s bars in a
startling tremolo. “Heh!”
The men behind squads-righted in a dispirited fashion and came to a halt
in straggling lines. The squawky voice continued:
“I want to say that you are the most undisciplined body of men I ever saw.
That--er--mélée you staged when you were unwittingly marched
into--er--contact with a body of enlisted men was the most disgraceful
exhibition on the part of officers so-called I ever saw in my life.
I--er--want to say you are a disgrace to the service. That’s all I want to
say. Oh, I--er--believe Lieutenant Crosby has something to say to you.”
Flying-Lieutenant Crosby stepped forward and cleared his throat. He was a
born Babbitt, a destined getter-together.
“Men,” he began, and then hesitated. Perhaps he should have said
“officers,” but that wouldn’t have sounded right either. He rushed on, “I
want to remind you that Happy’s and Sam’s funeral is this afternoon. All
flying is called off as usual. There wasn’t much of a crowd out for poor
old Bill yesterday. I know it’s a long walk and all that but we want to
get a good crowd out this afternoon. The cadets are going to try to get a
good crowd out for their fellow who got bumped, and we want to get a good
crowd out too. That’s all I wanted to say.”
He retired to the ranks. The fat officer shouted “Dismissed!” Then he
changed his mind.
“As you were. The commanding officer wanted me to announce that quarantine
to the post is on again until the perpetrator of the outrage of stopping
the Paris Express has been discovered and punished. Dismissed!”
The half-broken ranks scattered in the direction of their barracks. Toward
the one with the unfinished end went three oddly dissimilar figures. They
were always together, and of course some one had already thought of
calling them “The Three Musketeers.”
One was short, dark and slim, with pathetic eyes and a dispirited
mustache. Another was tall and lathy, with a long lugubrious countenance.
The third was blond and almost corpulent.
“I knew it, Tommy, I knew it,” said the tall man. “How come you and ‘Fat’
to pull such a stunt, anyway? Ain’t such a joke now, is it? What’re you
going to do about it?”
The three entered their barrack and sat down on a bunk near the open end,
well away from the crowd huddled around the stove in the middle. The
little man gazed sadly before him.
His mustache drooped dolefully. Some observant person had remarked that he
could read Tommy by his mustache. When it was freshly waxed and pert, he
was just going on a party. When it was sorry and unkempt, he had just been
on one.
“You know we didn’t mean any harm,” he said. “All that stuff the frogs put
out about our trying to wreck the train was a dish of prunes. As if it
wasn’t bad enough to miss the truck and walk out here twelve miles from
town without having all this on top of it. When the quarantine for the
itch was taken off, and Fat and I got those “thirty-six hours on condition
you don’t go to Paris” passes, we got by the M. P.’s at the _gare_ in
Paris all right.
“We went out through the baggage-room. I wasn’t in the Ambulance for
nothing. We came back into the station the same way, and once we got on
the train we went right to sleep. They sure do put up a good champagne
cocktail at Henry’s, and then all those beers at the Follies!
“Well, when I woke up we were at a station. I looked out and the sign on
it said Chateauroux. I knew where we were all right because I’ve flown
over the place. We’d passed Issy. So I woke Fat up and pulled him off the
train. There was another train standing in the station, and I asked a frog
where it went to and he said it was the Paris Express. So I knew it would
take us back to Issy again, and we hopped on.
“We got into a third class compartment with a lot of _poilus_, and they
had _beaucoup_ red wine, and we drank to _la belle France_, and
_les-Êtats-Unis_, and when I woke up again the train was just leaving a
station, and the sign said Issy-la-Boue. By the time I realized what it
all meant we were going too fast to jump off, so I pulled that handle on
the wall, and the train stopped.
“When we saw how wrought up the frogs were, we beat it. No wonder we had
to come over and help them win the war, if they’re all as bum shots as
those birds were! Guess they thought we were bandits or spies or
something. Well, we had to walk home to keep from being A. W. O. Loose
from roll-call this morning, and never got home till four o’clock. Suppose
after flying, I’ll have to go over and ’fess up to Herman, or you birds
will never get any more passes. But I know I’ll never get one if I stay
here for the duration of the war.”
“No pass ain’t _nothin’_ to what you’ll get, boy!” said “Long John.” “Shot
at sunrise, is my bet. But I admire your self-sacrificin’ spirit.”
“Never mind, we’ll take our medicine, won’t we, Fat? And if I don’t
mention you, maybe he won’t say anything about it.”
Fat grunted dolefully. Outside a bugle blew. The three rose to go.
“It’s me and Tommy to fly the eighteen meters,” said Long John. “Where do
you go, Fat?”
“Machine-gun,” was the answer.
“Hum, too bad. I heard the guy they shot there last week croaked. The
bullet went right thru his leg, and the quack dressed the place where it
went in all right, but forgot to see if it came out. Gangrene set in and
his leg rotted off, and they had to shoot him. Now a feller your build--
say, it wouldn’t go through at all. Just stay there and fester--”
But his victim was gone.
* * * * *
Tommy flew badly that morning. He was all in, his head ached and, besides,
he was worrying about that interview with Major Herman Krause. And then he
had to practise landings--nervous work at best in an unfamiliar ship.
Finally he blew a tire and was bawled out unmercifully by the instructor.
Luckily it was on his tenth and last trip, and he breathed a sigh of
relief when the lecture was over and he could go. He went to the barracks
and policed up. Shave, shine, but no shampoo. There was hardly enough
water for drinking and shaving, and that was brought many miles in tank
wagons. Bathing was something one went without at Issy--and felt not much
the worse unless the scabbies set in.
Once militarily clean, Tommy dragged himself to headquarters, entirely
ruining the new shine so painfully acquired. He entered the presence of
the adjutant feeling like a whipped schoolboy. He saluted and stood at
attention.
“Sir, Lieutenant Lang to speak to the commanding officer.”
The adjutant kept on writing for about five minutes at a desk stacked with
piles of reports. Then he looked up savagely and spoke with a slight
accent:
“What? Oh, yes. What for?”
“About the Paris Express.”
“Go right in. He’s waiting.”
Tommy went in and stood with trembling knees before the C. O. He was a
large florid man with beetling brows and his manner was not encouraging.
“You? Well? What about it?”
Tommy explained as well as he could, stressing his innocence. He thought
his plea must have softened an executioner, but Major Krause was
uncompromising in attitude and words.
“Young man,” he said, “you are a disgrace, sir! A disgrace to the United
States Army!” Tommy thought he had heard those words before. “We have been
having considerable trouble with the guard. Those cadets are the worst
disciplined body of men I ever saw.” Again a familiar note.
“As for you--you seem to have trouble keeping awake. A permanent
assignment as commander of the guard ought to give you beneficial practise
at it. Of course, after keeping awake all night, you will need to sleep in
the day-time. You are therefore relieved from flying duty. Report at guard
mount this evening and every evening until further orders. That will do.”
Tommy saluted and went out, his heart sinking. There were only three known
ways of getting out of Issy-la-Boue. The first was to break your neck. The
second was to fly so well that you were graduated. The third was to fly so
poorly that you were sent to Blooey for reclassification, probably as an
armament officer. Which was generally considered the lowest form of life
so far discovered in the air service.
All these methods were dependent on flying. Once a man was taken off
flying duty, it took an act of Congress to get him away from the place.
The little man wended his way back to the barracks. His comrades were
sitting on their bunks, and he poured his tale of woe into their receptive
ears. Being beyond words, they accorded him silent sympathy. Finally Fat
spoke:
“Well, I’m lucky to be out of it. Say, did you hear the news? Brock was
washed out on the fifteens this morning.”
“That makes seven in a week,” said Tommy after a pause. “How’d it happen?”
“Same old thing. Wings came off.”
A bugle called. Most of the flying lieutenants went outside and, joining
others from near-by barracks, formed in line. A few commands, and they
were in one of the rivers of mud which served as roads at the field.
Presently they were halted behind three long two-wheeled pushcarts; each
cart bore a long box covered with an American flag. The mourners stood in
the mud for half an hour waiting, and then a dispirited looking band
appeared. Its bass drum echoed _boom-boom-boom-boom-boom_, and the
procession started.
Through the gate of the camp it went, and out on to the main road, while
the drum kept up its sad, hollow sound. Yard after yard, rod after rod,
until the cortège had walked two miles. Then it turned into a young but
flourishing cemetery, with red, raw mounds in orderly lines.
The men were formed around three fresh graves. A pale-faced Y. M. C. A.
man stumbled through the burial service. A red-faced Knight of Columbus
did likewise. A Frenchman flew over and dropped some dessicated roses.
Then they all marched away again; only the boxes and a small burial party
remained behind.
The band struggled with its one tune, a lively quickstep, according to
regulations. Two old peasants drew their cart to one side of the road to
let them pass.
“_Comme ils sont trists, les ’tits Americains!_” said the woman.
“_Quelle musique!_” answered her spouse.
* * * * *
The three chums went back to their bunks.
“Do you birds know anything about being the commander of the guard?” asked
Tommy with some concern.
“No,” replied Fat.
“Sure,” answered Long John. “I was chucked out of the first training camp.
First, you have to have a gun.”
“A rifle?” asked Tommy.
“No, you little sap. Officers don’t carry rifles, or flying lieutenants
either. A pistol.”
“But I ain’t got a pistol.”
“Borrow one then. Do you know the general orders?”
“I don’t know any generals, orders or debility either.”
“Never mind trying to be funny. You may find out it ain’t no joke about
generals. The Old Boy himself and the Silly Civilian are going to inspect
the post tomorrow. I saw the orders over at the operations office for
every machine to be up that can get off the ground. I suppose that means a
lot more long walks. But it’s most time for guard mount; you’d better run
along and find a gun.”
Tommy disappeared and finally returned with a regulation web belt and
holster in one hand, and a .25 caliber automatic in the other.
“What are you going to do with that popgun, you idiot?” asked Long John
disgustedly. “Are you going hunting canary birds, or what?”
“I couldn’t find a regular gun, and a cadet loaned me this. He said
officers had taken it before and put a dirty sock or something in the
holster so the butt would just show, and got by all right.”
“Very well, then, take one of Fat’s socks. The smell may keep you awake.
Is the blamed thing loaded? Look out you don’t shoot yourself. There’s the
call, now. Put on your belt. You fool! How many belts are you going to
wear? What do you think you are, a past grand master of the Holy Jumpers?
Take off your Sam Browne. There--get going, now.
“Well, away he goes, and he doesn’t know whether Julius Cesar was stabbed
or shot off horseback. Did you ever see the like, Fat? But I bet he comes
out all right some way, the lucky little stiff. I never knew it to fail.
Well, let’s go up by the stove.”
But Tommy wasn’t such a complete fool as he appeared. He knew the old Army
advice for shavetails, “Find a good sergeant and stick to him.” The
sergeant of the guard was a grizzled old sufferer who had been through it
all many, many times. He engineered the guard mount and posted the guard.
Then Tommy drew him to one side.
“What do I do now, Sergeant?” he asked.
“Well, the lieutenant has to inspect the guard three times, once between
midnight and six o’clock in the morning. First ask them for their special
orders, and then for their general orders. If they make a mistake, I’ll
nudge you and you say, ‘Correct him, Sergeant,’ and I’ll fix him up. It’s
getting dark now. Would the Lieutenant like to make his first inspection
before supper?”
Inspection was a hectic affair. The guard was composed of cadets who had
joined the Army to fly and remained in it to mount guard, and it was their
intention to make it as interesting as possible for all concerned,
especially their superiors. But the old sergeant was equal to the
occasion. He steered Tommy by the traps planted for him, and then showed
him the guardhouse.
There the commander of the guard ate his slum and then returned to his
barrack. Long John grabbed him by the arm as he entered.
“That frog was around again today, and he brought a lot of stuff,” he
whispered. “You’re in on it. Doc is goin’ to make punch. Be around at nine
o’clock.”
* * * * *
Tommy was there at the appointed time. At the far end a crowd was
gathered. Men were perched as closely as possible on the double-deck
bunks. In their midst Bacchanalian rites were in progress. “Doc,” a stout
man with a red, satyr-like countenance, was beating a huge bowl of eggs.
Before him within easy reach and frequently applied, was an assorted row
of bottles. Tommy read some of the labels--Cherry Brandy, Martell, D. O.
M., Absinthe.
“My God,” he muttered to himself, “everything but nitroglycerine.”
The party was undoubtedly a success. There were songs and dances and
stories. Finally it got to the speechmaking stage. An interruption in the
form of a volley of shots was welcome to every one except the current
performer. A trampling of feet, and then more shots followed. A voice at
the other end of the barrack shouted “Attention!” as Major Krause stumbled
in. He had evidently been running, but he tried to stalk around in a
dignified manner. Somebody whispered--
“Those damn cadets have been shooting off their guns and raising hell
again, and he’s been trying to catch them.”
The major approached the end of the barrack where the party had been in
progress. He sniffed suspiciously, but the punch-bowl had been shoved
under a bunk and the bottles into boots, and there was no evidence in
sight. Finally he asked--
“Are there any guns in this barrack?”
“No,” Tommy spoke up. “I know, because I was trying to borrow one this
afternoon to mount guard with.”
A partially suppressed titter rose and fell again. The C. O. wheeled
around furiously.
“So it’s you again, is it?” he thundered. “Carousing in here while your
superiors attend to your duties. Get out to your guard and put a stop to
that indiscriminate shooting. I swear if I see you again tonight I’ll
prefer charges and have you broke!”
Tommy stumbled out into the darkness and headed in what he thought was the
direction of the guardhouse. His head was buzzing painfully. A volley of
shots sounded somewhere in front of him. He felt vaguely that he ought to
do something about it, and ran in that direction, only to fall over the
guy-rope of a hangar and fall heavily. More shots behind him. He got up
and staggered on. Suddenly there was a flash and a report right before
him. Then a voice yelled--
“Halt.”
“Commander of the guard,” bawled Tommy.
A dark figure loomed up vaguely in the murk. He struck a match and saw a
grinning cadet working the bolt of his rifle and waving the muzzle around
dangerously. Suddenly it exploded and Tommy felt mud splatter over him.
“I thought I saw something moving and halted it, and it wouldn’t halt, so
I fired, but I don’t understand this gun very well, sir,” said the cadet,
still working at the bolt.
The commander of the guard turned and fled. He was getting dizzier every
minute. Finally he tripped over another guy-rope and fell, to rise no
more.
When he woke, it was with the consciousness of having been annoyed for a
long time by a rasping noise which was still going on. He tried to pull
himself together and think. He could vaguely discern the bulk of a hangar.
There was a queer, unexplained rasping. Filed wires--Wings coming
off--Funerals--
The noise stopped, and presently a dark figure crept out through the
hangar door and started to steal away. Tommy drew the little automatic
from its holster and fired. The next thing he realized was that there were
flashlights and men everywhere. The sergeant of the guard. Major Krause.
Calls for explanation. Tommy tried to explain. A voice said--
“You fool, you’ve shot the adjutant!” Strong hands seized him and hustled
him away.
* * * * *
Next morning, when a detail came to the guardhouse, Tommy was still in a
daze. The leader told him to police up, as he was to go before the C. O.
He was still confused when he was led into the office at headquarters.
The commanding officer was there, and Captain La Croix, the French officer
who advised as to instruction. Also a large, fierce man with stars on his
shoulders, and a little civilian with glasses and a trench coat several
sizes too large for him. Tommy’s legs seemed to be made of butter.
Major Krause was speaking, and strange to say, his voice was not unkind.
“Lieutenant Lang,” he said, “I revoke everything I said yesterday. You
have done a great service for your country. I regret to say that a small
file was found on the body of the adjutant, and that some of the ships
were found to have been tampered with--so skillfully that detection was
very unlikely. Inspection of the adjutant’s papers brought out evidence
that he was an Austrian citizen. Tell the general and the secretary how
you came to discover what was going on.”
“Well,” blurted Tommy, “it was this way. I was dizzy and fell down two or
three times and finally I decided to go to sleep. Then some guy kept
making a filing noise and waking me up, so I shot him.”
* * * * *
That evening three flying lieutenants were finishing an illicit meal of
chicken and champagne at a little French inn about three miles from the
field, and the smallest of the trio was finishing a story.
“There was a long argument,” he said, “and the general and the major were
all for preferring charges, but Captain La Croix stood up for me and said
I was a good pilot, and finally they agreed to let him get me transferred
to a French observation squadron at the front.”
The tall man and the fat one looked at each other and at their little
companion. Then they ejaculated as one--
“You lucky little stiff!”
THE END
[Transcriber’s Note: This story appeared in the October 1, 1927 issue of
_Adventure_ magazine.]
*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE LUCKY LITTLE STIFF ***
Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will
be renamed.
Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright
law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works,
so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United
States without permission and without paying copyright
royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part
of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project
Gutenberg™ electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG™
concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark,
and may not be used if you charge for an eBook, except by following
the terms of the trademark license, including paying royalties for use
of the Project Gutenberg trademark. If you do not charge anything for
copies of this eBook, complying with the trademark license is very
easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose such as creation
of derivative works, reports, performances and research. Project
Gutenberg eBooks may be modified and printed and given away—you may
do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks not protected
by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the trademark
license, especially commercial redistribution.
START: FULL LICENSE
THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
To protect the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting the free
distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase “Project
Gutenberg”), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full
Project Gutenberg™ License available with this file or online at
www.gutenberg.org/license.
Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg™
electronic works
1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg™
electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all
the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or
destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in your
possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a
Project Gutenberg™ electronic work and you do not agree to be bound
by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person
or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
1.B. “Project Gutenberg” is a registered trademark. It may only be
used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few
things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg™ electronic works
even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See
paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project
Gutenberg™ electronic works if you follow the terms of this
agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg™
electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below.
1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation (“the
Foundation” or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection
of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works. Nearly all the individual
works in the collection are in the public domain in the United
States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the
United States and you are located in the United States, we do not
claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing,
displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as
all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope
that you will support the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting
free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg™
works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the
Project Gutenberg™ name associated with the work. You can easily
comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the
same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg™ License when
you share it without charge with others.
1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are
in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States,
check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this
agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing,
distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any
other Project Gutenberg™ work. The Foundation makes no
representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any
country other than the United States.
1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other
immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg™ License must appear
prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg™ work (any work
on which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” appears, or with which the
phrase “Project Gutenberg” is associated) is accessed, displayed,
performed, viewed, copied or distributed:
This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms
of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online
at www.gutenberg.org. If you
are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws
of the country where you are located before using this eBook.
1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is
derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not
contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the
copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in
the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are
redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase “Project
Gutenberg” associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply
either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or
obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg™
trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is posted
with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any
additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms
will be linked to the Project Gutenberg™ License for all works
posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the
beginning of this work.
1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg™
License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg™.
1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
Gutenberg™ License.
1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including
any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access
to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg™ work in a format
other than “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other format used in the official
version posted on the official Project Gutenberg™ website
(www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense
to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means
of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original “Plain
Vanilla ASCII” or other form. Any alternate format must include the
full Project Gutenberg™ License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg™ works
unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
access to or distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works
provided that:
• You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
the use of Project Gutenberg™ works calculated using the method
you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed
to the owner of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark, but he has
agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid
within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are
legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty
payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in
Section 4, “Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg
Literary Archive Foundation.”
• You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg™
License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all
copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue
all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg™
works.
• You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of
any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of
receipt of the work.
• You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
distribution of Project Gutenberg™ works.
1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project
Gutenberg™ electronic work or group of works on different terms than
are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing
from the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the manager of
the Project Gutenberg™ trademark. Contact the Foundation as set
forth in Section 3 below.
1.F.
1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project
Gutenberg™ collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg™
electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may
contain “Defects,” such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate
or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other
intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or
other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or
cannot be read by your equipment.
1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the “Right
of Replacement or Refund” described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
Gutenberg™ trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
Gutenberg™ electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
DAMAGE.
1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you
received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium
with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you
with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in
lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person
or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second
opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If
the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing
without further opportunities to fix the problem.
1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you ‘AS-IS’, WITH NO
OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT
LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of
damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement
violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the
agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or
limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or
unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the
remaining provisions.
1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
providing copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in
accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the
production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg™
electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses,
including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of
the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this
or any Project Gutenberg™ work, (b) alteration, modification, or
additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg™ work, and (c) any
Defect you cause.
Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg™
Project Gutenberg™ is synonymous with the free distribution of
electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of
computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It
exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations
from people in all walks of life.
Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg™’s
goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg™ collection will
remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
and permanent future for Project Gutenberg™ and future
generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary
Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see
Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org.
Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non-profit
501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
Revenue Service. The Foundation’s EIN or federal tax identification
number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary
Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by
U.S. federal laws and your state’s laws.
The Foundation’s business office is located at 809 North 1500 West,
Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email contact links and up
to date contact information can be found at the Foundation’s website
and official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact
Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
Literary Archive Foundation
Project Gutenberg™ depends upon and cannot survive without widespread
public support and donations to carry out its mission of
increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
freely distributed in machine-readable form accessible by the widest
array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations
($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
status with the IRS.
The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations
where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND
DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular state
visit www.gutenberg.org/donate.
While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
approach us with offers to donate.
International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
Please check the Project Gutenberg web pages for current donation
methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other
ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To
donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate.
Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg™ electronic works
Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project
Gutenberg™ concept of a library of electronic works that could be
freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and
distributed Project Gutenberg™ eBooks with only a loose network of
volunteer support.
Project Gutenberg™ eBooks are often created from several printed
editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in
the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not
necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper
edition.
Most people start at our website which has the main PG search
facility: www.gutenberg.org.
This website includes information about Project Gutenberg™,
including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
