The Project Gutenberg EBook of Ye Book of Copperheads, by Anonymous
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Title: Ye Book of Copperheads
Author: Anonymous
Illustrator: Anonymous
Release Date: March 31, 2014 [EBook #45274]
Language: English
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK YE BOOK OF COPPERHEADS ***
Produced by David Widger from page images generously
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YE BOOK OF COPPERHEADS
By Anonymous
[Illustration: 0007]
[Illustration: 0009]
YE BOOK OF COPPERHEADS
"_ Continue this united League."--Richard the Third, III. 1_.
`|There once was a Copperhead snake tried to Bite Uncle Sam by mistake;
```But the Seven League Boot on old Uncle Sam's foot
````Soon crushed this pestiferous snake.
[Illustration: 0010]
|A soldier came back from the war, with many an honorable scar;
```But the Copperheads cried, "Served you right if you'd died
````In this curst _Abolitionist_ war!"
[Illustration: 0011]
|The old Tory dragon is dead, but she left us some eggs in her stead;
``Two were smashed in the yolk, but the third hatched and broke,
```And out came a vile Copperhead.
[Illustration: 0012]
|There was once a young giant asleep, and round him two serpents did creep;
```But he stopped their vile breath, and squeezed them to death,
````This giant aroused from his sleep.
[Illustration: 0013]
|There once was a Copperhead vile, who attempted to damage a
```So he tried it in truth, but soon broke every tooth
````On that rusty and crusty Old File.
[Illustration: 0014]
"_Nor doth this Wood lack Worlds."--Midsummer Night's Dream, II. 2._
|There was an old Snake in New York said for peace all the people should work;
``"But if war _must_ come, let us fight here _at home!!_"
```Quoth sanguiloquent Ben of New York.
[Illustration: 0015]
_"One of those who worship dirty gods."--Cymbeline, III. 8._
|There once was a chap named Vallandigham, whom the Copperheads chose for commanding 'em;
```But a trip to the South soon silenced his mouth,
````And the world as a _Tory_ is branding him.
[Illustration: 0016]
|With War Democrats Seymour's for war; with Peace cowards for peace he'll hurrah;
```Let him get in the way of the mower some day,
````And He'll find there's no quibbling with war.
[Illustration: 0017]
|The Copperhead lotterie hath a curious policie;
``For a man of low rank can draw naught save a blank,
````Unless an accomplice he be.
[Illustration: 0018]
|There once was a twistified Reed who took for his pattern Snake-Weed;
```Till the Copperheads all, great, middling, and small
````Seemed _straight_ by the side of this Reed.
[Illustration: 0019]
|There's a character very well known, Who bubbles for ages has blown;
```But the best he has made since at _bubbling_ he played,
````From a Copperhead pipe have been thrown.
[Illustration: 0020]
````_"And what Stock he springs of!!"--Coriolan, II. 3._
|Copper stocks are uncertain to buy, though this Copperhead's stock's very high;
```But we still might improve this stock of his love,
````By adding the _right_ sort of tie.
[Illustration: 0021]
|There was an old War Horse, a clerical, who thought our Republic chimerical;
```"For the Union," he said, "he never had prayed,"
````This mordacious old War Horse cholerical.
[Illustration: 0022]
```_" There is no goodness in the worm,"--Antony and Cleopatra, V. 2._
|The abominable Copperhead worms! With their wriggles, and twists, and their squirms!
```But the gardener, they say, will soon find out a way
````To kill the vile Copperhead worms.
[Illustration: 0023]
```_"There are many complaints, Davy, about that."--King Henry IV., V. 1._
|There was a Stern Statesman astute, who so often went in to _recruit_,
```That a Rattlesnake fat revolved in his hat,
````While a Copperhead squirmed in his boot.
[Illustration: 0024]
```_"So much dishonor my fair stars."--King Richard 111., IV. 1._
|The traitor our Common Cents mars, And on Liberty plainly he wars,
```Taking Freedom away from the Union, I say,
````When he cuts out her head from the stars.
[Illustration: 0025]
_"And so the lion vanished."--Midsummer Night's Dream, V. 1._
|While it did us great harm, Abolition was the height of the Lion's ambition;
```Now with Copperhead _tale_ he stings himself pale.
````And furaciously scorns Abolition.
[Illustration: 0026]
```_"Will this Wood take fire?"--Merry Wives of Windsor, V. 5._
|Union, a fagot we take; But 'twould be a tremendous mistake,
```To use rotten old Wood which never was good,
````And then bind it up with a Snake.
[Illustration: 0027]
|There once was a Patriot whose rigor reached such a remarkable figure,
```That he'd rather go down in the water and drown
````Than be saved by the help of a nigger.
[Illustration: 0028]
|There once were some rascals near Reading thought fighting was easy as wedding;
```But being well kicked, and most terribly licked,
````They mournfully mizzled from Reading.
[Illustration: 0029]
_"O wicked Wall!"--Midsummer Night's Dream, V. 1._
|There once was an old _party_-Wall, quite _cracked_ and just ready to fall;
```The Copperheads came and completed its shame
````By sticking their Bills on this Wall.
[Illustration: 0030]
|There once was a bottle of Porter, which the Copperheads thought was all water;
```But when the cork popped, the Copperheads dropped,
````And were stunned by the _vim_ of the Porter!
[Illustration: 0031]
|There once was a Snake who said "Hey! There's an Eagle I'll take for my prey!"
```But the bird with his bill did the Copperhead kill,
````And bore him in triumph away.
[Illustration: 0032]
```_"Exit shall be strangling a snake."--Love's Labor's Lost, V. 1._
|The Copperhead traitors all, our army "base hirelings" call
```But some fine summer day The "boys," just for play,
````Will settle the Copperheads all.
Amen!
GOTHAM-MITES.
|I like such Brooks," said Falstaff once;
``Had he meant _ours_ he'd been a dunce;
`The devil, whom all things evil please,
``Could never stand such Bruoks as these.=
`In the Tyrol on mountain high
``"The Devil's Marble" you may spy;
`And if in the World you long remain,
``You'll probably meet the same again.=
`Och, Johnny, my gun--let the truth be aid,
``What the divil made _ye_ turn Copperhid?
`Sure it was hivvy what ye bore,
``Wid the brass in your face yees had before.=
`There's a song how Old Nick took a journey,
``With a corporation attorney;
`But there is one _fouler_, whom even the old prowler
``Would fear as a friend on a journey.=
1.
`"The man who made that order," said
``Judge B. in court, "was a _meat-head_."
`Oh what a head that head would be,
``Just _meted_ Judge, to match with thee!=
2.
`"Just roll that nigger out of court!"
``The Judge exclaimed with solemn port;
`"I tell you very truly now,
``Nigs _at the bar_ I won't allow!"=
`At a Copperhead meeting the crier
``Paused an instant to hear his gun fire;
`The cannon was loaded, and when it exploded,
``Said he--"List to the voice of our sire!"=
``There was old party named M------,
``Who went from bad doctrines to worse.
`If at law he should see his name prefaced by _re,_
``It will show what he _should_ feel; this M------.=
```There was a small Cozening shyster;
``Said he, "Every case is an _eyester;_
`Give the parties the shells if you can, and nought else,
``Unless the Court tips you a hi-ster."=
``There's a man at the _Bar_ who, we know,
``Is in politics terribly _low_;
`For he keeps in the clubs the secessional cubs,
``Who in _propria persona_ can't go.=
``There's a very bad-minis-trator,
``A_ très petite pomme de tater_,
`Who tears feelings to rags, presenting of flags;
``This oily old adminis-_traitor_.=
``There's a wide-awake Copperhead cratur',
``Who is Eli by name and by natur';
`Displaying for one neither fashion _nor ton_,
``This un-national nativist traitor.=
CHECKER-BOARDERS AND KEYSTONERS
|There was an old person, J. B.,
``An old Public Func-tion-arie; [agreed,
`When they swore, "We'll secede!" he just smiled, "I'm
``"You've a sure friend, you know, in J. B.=
``There was a smart lawyer named W------
``Who from Union men made quite a fortun';
`But his wealth he despised, with Secesh fraternized,
``This apo-state-olical W------.=
``There was a twistortulous Heed,
``Who hoped that Secesh might succeed;
`For he said, "It's my natur' to act like a traitor,
``Since it runs in the joints of a Heed."=
``There once was a Copperhead Diddle,
``Who played to the Heed second fiddle;
`When they said, "It is small!" it replied, not at all,
`Says he, "I ain't dead--as a live Copperhead
``I'm a squirmulous vermiform Wriggler."=
``There was an old servant called Peter,
``So moody in humor and feature
`Because the good people from the church with a steeple
``Expelled this old saturnine Peter.=
``There was a sharp lawyer, one P-,
``Whose thoughts never got through his still lips;
`And all he would say was "ah!" "h'm!" "oh!" and "ay
``This pauciloquent person named P-.=
``There was a neat sarpent--a Coiler--
``True son of the ancient Beguiler;
`Who told such a whopper, he burst out his copper,
``And frightfully fractured his biler.=
`It's a full-blooded Copperhead Diddle!"=
`There was an ex-governing Wiggler,
`A political huckster and higgler;
``Quoth "Aristocracy"
``To Fourth Ward "Vulgarity,"
`"You are dregs, I am froth; and our interests both
``Are opposed to this working, d'ye see!"=
MODERN HEATHEN-IANS
``There was an ex-editor, L------,
``Who rowed in the _Courier_ punt,
`But to twist around more, he jumped out on the shore,
``That contortious poetical L------.=
``Oh G------ T------ C------ was one
``Who thought himself quite a great gun;
`So Treason he shouted, "Constitution" he spouted,
``But Boston grew hot for such "Union Men"--so
``He herds in New York with Fernando & Co.=
``To the cause of his country adverse,
``Is the man whom all honest men curse.
`Do you ask what's his name? oh, ne'er believe Fame,
``If it be not Ex-President Pierce.=
``In Eighteen Hundred and Fifty-Six,
``A poet, disgusted with Pierce's tricks,
``Said that he down to the dust should go,
``To grovel there in infamy low.
``And in Eighteen Hundred and Sixty-Three,
``The prophecy came to pass, I see,
``Since in the dust and on the ground,
``As a Copperhead Pierce goes squirming round".=
``What a pity that Joshua D.
``A good Insolvency lawyer should be,
``Yet cannot, in politics, as we see,
``Keep his own good name from bankruptcie!=
``John C. passes, now and then,
``For one of Boston's League-al men.
``Mistake me not--he doth intrigue
``With the Liquor--not the Union--League!=
``Gamblers, Wood-ites, thieves, and asses,
``Scrapings of the dangerous classes,
``Pettifoggers malign, but weak,
``Who dare not fight and cannot speak;
``_Trash_ which the war-tide rolling high
``Has cast ashore in scorn to dry;
``"Aristocrats" who fear to wage
``Brave battle in a stirring age,
``As did their glorious sires before,
``Who won thereby the fame they wore;
``Oh G. S. H--------, tell us true.
``Is this fit company for you?=
SHAKSPEARE ON THE COPPERHEADS.
```"What would you have, you curs,
`That like nor peace nor war? The one affrights you,
`The other makes you proud. He that trusts to you,
`Where he should find you lions, finds you hares;
`Where foxes, geese; you are no surer, no,
`Than is the coal of fire upon the ice,
`Or hailstone in the sun. Your virtue is,
`To make him worthy whose offence subdues him,
`And curse that justice did it. Who deserves greatness
`Deserves your hate; and your affections are
`A sick man's appetite, who desires most that
`Which would increase his evil. He that depends
`Upon your favors swims with fins of lead,
`And hews down oaks with rushes."--_Coriolanus, I. 1._
"THOSE DEVOTED COPPERHEADS."
`"Our sympathies are all confined at home; yet it is just
`possible we may help those devoted Copperheads in the only
`way we know how--also, that they, on their side, are now
`about ripe to aid us in the only way we could accept their
`aid. If our troops should this summer appear within their
`borders anywhere between Cairo and Philadelphia, they would
`be hailed as friends by a population pretty well cured now of
`_Pluribus Unum_. Their cry would be, not Union, but deli-
`verance. _Wait then, and watch, and keep your lights burning,
`ye Knights of the Golden Circle!"--Richmond Enquirer_, 18th
`May, 1863.
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