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by B. G. Jefferis and J. L. Nichols
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Title: Searchlights on Health
The Science of Eugenics
Author: B. G. Jefferis and J. L. Nichols
Release Date: September 12, 2004 [EBook #13444]
Language: English
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SEARCHLIGHTS ON HEALTH ***
Produced by Juliet Sutherland, Alicia Williams, and the Online
Distributed Proofreading Team.
SEARCHLIGHTS ON HEALTH
THE SCIENCE OF EUGENICS
* * * * *
A Guide to Purity and Physical Manhood
Advice to Maiden, Wife and Mother
Love, Courtship, and Marriage
* * * * *
By
PROF. B.G. JEFFERIS, M.D., PH. D.
and
J.L. NICOLS, A.M.
_With Excerpts from Well-Known Authorities_
REV. LEONARD DAWSON
DR. M.J. SAVAGE
REV. H.R. HAWEIS
DR. PANCOAST
DR. STALL
DR. J.F. SCOTT
DR. GEORGE NAPHEYS
DR. STOCKHAM
DR. T.D. NICHOLLS
DR. R.L. DUGDALE
DR. JOHN COWAN
DR. M.L. HOLBROOK
* * * * *
Published by
J.L. NICHOLS & COMPANY
Naperville, Illinois, U.S.A.
1920
AGENTS WANTED
"Vice has no friend like the prejudice which claims to be
virtue."--_Lord Lytton._
"When the judgment's weak, the prejudice is strong."--_Kate O'Hare._
"It is the first right of every child to be well born."
* * * * *
COPYRIGHTED 1919,
BY
J.L. NICHOLS & CO.
OVER 1,000,000 COPIES SOLD
* * * * *
TABLE OF CONTENTS.
[Transcriber's Note: This Table of Contents does not appear in
the original book. It has been added to this document for ease of
navigation.]
Knowledge is Safety, page 3
The Beginning of Life, page 5
Health a Duty, page 7
Value of Reputation, page 9
Influence of Associates, page 11
Self-Control, page 12
Habit, page 17
A Good Name, page 18
The Mother's Influence, page 21
Home Power, page 23
To Young Women, page 26
Influence of Female Character, page 30
Personal Purity, page 31
How To Write All Kinds of Letters, page 34
How To Write a Love Letter, page 37
Forms of Social Letters, page 39
Letter Writing, page 43
Forms of Love Letters, page 44
Hints and Helps on Good Behavior at All Times and at All Places, page 49
A Complete Etiquette in a Few Practical Rules, page 52
Etiquette of Calls, page 56
Etiquette in Your Speech, page 57
Etiquette of Dress and Habits, page 58
Etiquette on the Street, page 59
Etiquette Between Sexes, page 60
Practical Rules on Table Manners, page 63
Social Duties, page 65
Politeness, page 70
Influence of Good Character, page 73
Family Government, page 76
Conversation, page 79
The Toilet or The Care of the Person, page 84
A Young Man's Personal Appearance, page 86
Dress, page 88
Beauty, page 91
Sensible Helps to Beauty, page 95
How to Keep the Bloom and Grace of Youth, page 97
Form and Deformity, page 98
How to Determine a Perfect Human Figure, page 99
The History, Mystery, Benefits and Injuries of the Corset, page 101
Tight-Lacing, page 104
The Care of the Hair, page 107
How to Cure Pimples or Other Facial Eruptions, page 111
Black-Heads and Flesh Worms, page 112
Love, page 114
The Power and Peculiarities of Love, page 118
Amativeness or Connubial Love, page 122
Love and Common Sense, page 123
What Women Love in Men, page 126
What Men Love in Women, page 129
History of Marriage, page 132
Marriage, page 134
The Advantages of Wedlock, page 135
The Disadvantages of Celibacy, page 138
Old Maids, page 140
When and Whom to Marry, page 144
Choose Intellectually--Love Afterward, page 148
Love-Spats, page 154
A Broken Heart, page 159
Former Customs and Peculiarities Among Men, page 162
Sensible Hints in Choosing a Partner, page 165
Safe Hints, page 170
Marriage Securities, page 174
Women Who Make the Best Wives, page 178
Adaptation, Conjugal Affection, and Fatal Errors, page 181
First Love, Desertion and Divorce, page 185
Flirting and Its Dangers, page 190
A Word to Maidens, page 192
Popping the Question, page 194
The Wedding, page 200
Advice to Newly Married Couples, page 201
Sexual Proprieties and Improprieties, page 206
How to Perpetuate the Honey-Moon, page 209
How to Be a Good Wife, page 210
How to Be a Good Husband, page 211
Cause of Family Troubles, page 217
Jealousy--Its Cause and Cure, page 219
The Improvement of Offspring, page 222
Too Many Children, page 229
Small Families and the Improvement of the Race, page 232
The Generative Organs, page 234
The Female Sexual Organs, page 235
The Mysteries of the Formation of Life, page 238
Conception--Its Limitations, page 240
Prenatal Influences, page 244
Vaginal Cleanliness, page 246
Impotence and Sterility, page 248
Producing Boys or Girls at Will, page 252
Abortion or Miscarriage, page 253
The Murder of Innocents, page 256
The Unwelcome Child, page 258
Health and Disease, page 263
Preparation for Maternity, page 266
Impregnation, page 269
Signs and Symptoms of Pregnancy, page 270
Diseases of Pregnancy, page 274
Morning Sickness, page 282
Relation of Husband and Wife During Pregnancy, page 283
A Private Word to the Expectant Mother, page 284
Shall Pregnant Women Work?, page 285
Words for Young Mothers, page 286
How to Have Beautiful Children, page 288
Education of the Child in the Womb, page 292
How to Calculate the Time of Expected Labor, page 295
The Signs and Symptoms of Labor, page 297
Special Safeguards in Confinement, page 299
Where Did the Baby Come From?, page 303
Child Bearing Without Pain, page 304
Solemn Lessons for Parents, page 312
Ten Health Rules for Babies Cut Death Rate in Two, page 314
The Care of New-Born Infants, page 315
Nursing, page 317
Infantile Convulsions, page 319
Feeding Infants, page 319
Pains and Ills in Nursing, page 321
Home Lessons in Nursing Sick Children, page 325
A Table for Feeding a Baby on Modified Milk, page 329
Nursing [Intervals Table], page 329
Schedule for Feeding Healthy Infants During First Year [Table], page 329
How to Keep a Baby Well, page 330
How to Preserve the Health and Life of Your Infant During
Hot Weather, page 332
Infant Teething, page 336
Home Treatments for the Diseases of Infants and Children, page 338
Diseases of Women, page 348
Falling of the Womb, page 350
Menstruation, page 351
Celebrated Prescriptions for All Diseases and How to Use Them, page 354
How to Cure Apoplexy, Bad Breath and Quinsy, page 365
Sensible Rules for the Nurse, page 366
Longevity, page 367
How to Apply and Use Hot Water in All Diseases, page 368
Practical Rules for Bathing, page 371
All the Different Kinds of Baths and How to Prepare Them, page 372
Digestibility of Food, page 374
How to Cook for the Sick, page 375
Save the Girls, page 380
Save the Boys, page 390
The Inhumanities of Parents, page 396
Chastity and Purity of Chracter, page 400
Exciting the Passions in Children, page 404
Puberty, Virility, and Hygenic Laws, page 406
Our Secret Sins, page 409
Physical and Moral Degeneracy, page 414
Immorality, Disease, and Death, page 416
Poisonous Literature and Bad Pictures, page 421
Startling Sins, page 423
The Prostitution of Men, page 427
The Road to Shame, page 430
The Curse of Manhood, page 433
A Private Talk to Young Men, page 437
Remedies for the Social Evil, page 440
The Selfish Slaves of Doses of Disease and Death, page 441
Object Lessons of the Effects of Alcohol and Smoking, page 445
The Destructive Effects of Cigarette Smoking, page 449
The Dangerous Vices, page 451
Nocturnal Emissions, page 457
Lost Manhood Restored, page 459
Manhood Wrecked and Rescued, page 461
The Curse and Consequence of Secret Diseases, page 464
Animal Magnetism, page 470
How to Read Character, page 473
Twilight Sleep, page 479
Painless Childbirth, page 479
The Diseases of Women, page 480
Remedies for Diseases of Women, page 483
Alphabetical Index, page 486
* * * * *
HE STUMBLETH NOT, BECAUSE HE SEETH THE LIGHT.
[Illustration: "Search Me. Oh Thou Great Creator."]
* * * * *
KNOWLEDGE IS SAFETY.
1. The old maxim, that "Knowledge is power," is a true one, but there
is still a greater truth: "KNOWLEDGE IS SAFETY." Safety amid physical
ills that beset mankind, and safety amid the moral pitfalls that
surround so many young people, is the great crying demand of the age.
2. CRITICISM.--This work, though plain and to some extent startling,
is chaste, practical and to the point, and will be a boon and a
blessing to thousands who consult its pages. The world is full of
ignorance, and the ignorant will always criticise, because they live
to suffer ills, for they know no better. New light is fast falling
upon the dark corners, and the eyes of many are being opened.
3. RESEARCHES OF SCIENCE.--The researches of science in the past few
years have thrown light on many facts relating to the physiology
of man and woman, and the diseases to which they are subject, and
consequently many reformations have taken place in the treatment and
prevention of diseases peculiar to the sexes.
4. LOCK AND KEY.--Any information bearing upon the diseases of mankind
should not be kept under lock and key. The physician is frequently
called upon to speak in plain language to his patients upon some
private and startling disease contracted on account of ignorance. The
better plan, however, is to so educate and enlighten old and young
upon the important subjects of health, so that the necessity to call a
physician may occur less frequently.
5. PROGRESSION.--A large, respectable, though diminishing class in
every community, maintain that nothing that relates exclusively to
either sex should become the subject of popular medical instruction.
But such an opinion is radically wrong; ignorance is no more the
mother of purity than it is of religion. Enlightenment can never work
injustice to him who investigates.
6. AN EXAMPLE.--The men and women who study and practice medicine are
not the worse, but the better for such knowledge; so it would be to
the community in general if all would be properly instructed on the
laws of health which relate to the sexes.
7. CRIME AND DEGRADATION.--Had every person a sound understanding on
the relation of the sexes, one of the most fertile sources of crime
and degradation would be removed. Physicians know too well what sad
consequences are constantly occurring from a lack of proper knowledge
on these important subjects.
8. A CONSISTENT CONSIDERATION.--Let the reader of this work study its
pages carefully and be able to give safe counsel and advice to others,
and remember that purity of purpose and purity of character are the
brightest jewels in the crown of immortality.
[Illustration: BEGINNING RIGHT.]
* * * * *
THE BEGINNING OF LIFE.
1. THE BEGINNING.--There is a charm in opening manhood which has
commended itself to the imagination in every age. The undefined hopes
and promises of the future--the dawning strength of intellect--the
vigorous flow of passion--the very exchange of home ties and protected
joys for free and manly pleasures, give to this period an interest and
excitement unfelt, perhaps, at any other.
2. THE GROWTH OF INDEPENDENCE.--Hitherto life has been to boys, as to
girls, a dependent existence--a sucker from the parent growth--a home
discipline of authority and guidance and communicated impulse. But
henceforth it is a transplanted growth of its own--a new and free
power of activity in which the mainspring is no longer authority or
law from without, but principle or opinion within. The shoot which
has been nourished under the shelter of the parent stem, and bent
according to its inclination, is transferred to the open world, where
of its own impulse and character it must take root, and grow into
strength, or sink into weakness and vice.
3. HOME TIES.--The thought of home must excite a pang even in the
first moments of freedom. Its glad shelter--its kindly guidance--its
very restraints, how dear and tender must they seem in parting! How
brightly must they shine in the retrospect as the youth turns from
them to the hardened and unfamiliar face of the world! With what a
sweet sadly-cheering pathos they must linger in the memory! And then
what chance and hazard is there in his newly-gotten freedom! What
instincts of warning in its very novelty and dim inexperience! What
possibilities of failure as well as of success in the unknown future
as it stretches before him!
4. VICE OR VIRTUE.--Certainly there is a grave importance as well as
a pleasant charm in the beginning of life. There is awe as well as
excitement in it when rightly viewed. The possibilities that lie in
it of noble or ignoble work--of happy self-sacrifice or ruinous
self-indulgence--the capacities in the right use of which it may rise
to heights of beautiful virtue, in the abuse of which it may sink to
the depths of debasing vice--make the crisis one of fear as well as of
hope, of sadness as well as of joy.
5. SUCCESS OR FAILURE.--It is wistful as well as pleasing to think of
the young passing year by year into the world, and engaging with its
duties, its interests, and temptations. Of the throng that struggle
at the gates of entrance, how many may reach their anticipated goal?
Carry the mind forward a few years, and some have climbed the hills
of difficulty and gained the eminence on which they wished to
stand--some, although they may not have done this, have kept their
truth unhurt, their integrity unspoiled; but others have turned back,
or have perished by the way, or fallen in weakness of will, no more to
rise again; victims or their own sin.
6. WARNING.--As we place ourselves with the young at the opening gates
of life, and think of the end from the beginning, it is a deep concern
more than anything else that fills us. Words of earnest argument and
warning counsel rather than of congratulation rise to our lips.
7. MISTAKES ARE OFTEN FATAL.--Begin well and the habit of doing well
will become quite as easy as the habit of doing badly. "Well begun
is half ended," says the proverb: "and a good beginning is half
the battle." Many promising young men have irretrievably injured
themselves by a first false step at the commencement of life; while
others of much less promising talents, have succeeded simply by
beginning well, and going onward. The good, practical beginning is
to a certain extent, a pledge, a promise, and an assurance of the
ultimate prosperous issue. There is many a poor creature, now crawling
through life, miserable himself and the cause of sorrow to others,
who might have lifted up his head and prospered, if, instead of merely
satisfying himself with resolutions of well-doing, he had actually
gone to work and made a good, practical beginning.
8. BEGIN AT THE RIGHT PLACE.--Too many are, however, impatient of
results. They are not satisfied to begin where their fathers did,
but where they left off. They think to enjoy the fruits of industry
without working for them. They cannot wait for the results of labor
and application, but forestall them by too early indulgence.
* * * * *
HEALTH A DUTY.
Perhaps nothing will so much hasten the time when body and mind will
both be adequately cared for, as a diffusion of the belief that the
preservation of health is a duty. Few seem conscious that there is
such a thing as physical morality.
Men's habitual words and acts imply that they are at liberty to treat
their bodies as they please. Disorder entailed by disobedience to
nature's dictates they regard as grievances, not as the effects of
a conduct more or less flagitious. Though the evil consequences
inflicted on their descendents and on future generations are often as
great as those caused by crime, they do not think themselves in any
degree criminal.
It is true that in the case of drunkenness the viciousness of a bodily
transgression is recognized; but none appear to infer that if this
bodily transgression is vicious, so too is every bodily transgression.
The fact is, all breaches of the law of health are physical sins.
When this is generally seen, then, and perhaps not till then, will the
physical training of the young receive all the attention it deserves.
Purity of life and thought should be taught in the home. It is the
only safeguard of the young. Let parents wake up on this important
subject.
[Illustration: GLADSTONE.]
* * * * *
VALUE OF REPUTATION.
1. WHO SHALL ESTIMATE THE COST.--Who shall estimate the cost of a
priceless reputation--that impress which gives this human dross its
currency--without which we stand despised, debased, depreciated? Who
shall repair it injured? Who can redeem it lost? Oh, well and truly
does the great philosopher of poetry esteem the world's wealth as
"trash" in the comparison. Without it gold has no value; birth, no
distinction; station, no dignity; beauty, no charm; age, no reverence;
without it every treasure impoverishes, every grace deforms,
every dignity degrades, and all the arts, the decorations and
accomplishments of life stand, like the beacon-blaze upon a rock,
warning the world that its approach is dangerous; that its contact is
death.
2. THE WRETCH WITHOUT IT.--The wretch without it is under eternal
quarantine; no friend to greet; no home to harbor him, the voyage of
his life becomes a joyless peril, and in the midst of all ambition
can achieve, or avarice amass, or rapacity plunder, he tosses on the
surge, a buoyant pestilence. But let me not degrade into selfishness
of individual safety or individual exposure this individual principle;
it testifies a higher, a more ennobling origin.
3. ITS DIVINITY.--Oh, Divine, oh, delightful legacy of a spotless
reputation: Rich is the inheritance it leaves; pious the example
it testifies; pure, precious and imperishable, the hope which it
inspires; can there be conceived a more atrocious injury than to filch
from its possessor this inestimable benefit to rob society of its
charm, and solitude of its solace; not only to out-law life, but
attain death, converting the very grave, the refuge of the sufferer,
into the gate of infamy and of shame.
4. LOST CHARACTER.--We can conceive few crimes beyond it. He who
plunders my property takes from me that which can be repaired by time;
but what period can repair a ruined reputation? He who maims my person
effects that which medicine may remedy; but what herb has sovereignty
over the wounds of slander? He who ridicules my poverty or reproaches
my profession, upbraids me with that which industry may retrieve, and
integrity may purify; but what riches shall redeem the bankrupt fame?
What power shall blanch the sullied show of character? There can be
no injury more deadly. There can be no crime more cruel. It is without
remedy. It is without antidote. It is without evasion.
[Illustration: GATHERING WILD FLOWERS.]
* * * * *
INFLUENCE OF ASSOCIATES.
If you always live with those who are lame, you will learn to
limp.--FROM THE LATIN.
If men wish to be held in esteem, they must associate with those who
are estimable.--LA BRUYERE.
1. BY WHAT MEN ARE KNOWN.--An author is known by his writings, a
mother by her daughter, a fool by his words, and all men by their
companions.
2. FORMATION OF A GOOD CHARACTER.--Intercourse with persons of decided
virtue and excellence is of great importance in the formation of a
good character. The force of example is powerful; we are creatures of
imitation, and, by a necessary influence, our tempers and habits
are very much formed on the model of those with whom we familiarly
associate. Better be alone than in bad company. Evil communications
corrupt good manners. Ill qualities are catching as well as diseases;
and the mind is at least as much, if not a great deal more, liable to
infection, than the body. Go with mean people, and you think life is
mean.
3. GOOD EXAMPLE.--How natural is it for a child to look up to those
around him for an example of imitation, and how readily does he copy
all that he sees done, good or bad. The importance of a good example
on which the young may exercise this powerful and active element of
their nature, is a matter of the utmost moment.
4. A TRUE MAXIM.--It is a trite, but true maxim, that "a man is known
by the company he keeps." He naturally assimilates by the force
of imitation, to the habits and manners of those by whom he is
surrounded. We know persons who walk much with the lame, who have
learned to walk with a hitch or limp like their lame friends. Vice
stalks in the streets unabashed, and children copy it.
5. LIVE WITH THE CULPABLE.--Live with the culpable, and you will
be very likely to die with the criminal. Bad company is like a nail
driven into a post, which after the first or second blow, may be drawn
out with little difficulty; but being once driven in up to the head,
the pinchers cannot take hold to draw it out, which can only be done
by the destruction of the wood. You may be ever so pure, you cannot
associate with bad companions without falling into bad odor.
6. SOCIETY OF THE VULGAR.--Do you love the society of the vulgar? Then
you are already debased in your sentiments. Do you seek to be with
the profane? In your heart you are like them. Are jesters and buffoons
your choice friends? He who loves to laugh at folly is himself a fool.
Do you love and seek the society of the wise and good? Is this your
habit? Had you rather take the lowest seat among these than the
highest seat among others? Then you have already learned to be good.
You may not make very much progress, but even a good beginning is not
to be despised.
7. SINKS OF POLLUTION.--Strive for mental excellence, and strict
integrity, and you never will be found in the sinks of pollution, and
on the benches of retailers and gamblers. Once habituate yourself to a
virtuous course, once secure a love of good society, and no punishment
would be greater than by accident to be obliged for half a day to
associate with the low and vulgar. Try to frequent the company of your
betters.
8. PROCURE NO FRIEND IN HASTE.--Nor, if once secured, in haste abandon
them. Be slow in choosing an associate, and slower to change him;
slight no man for poverty, nor esteem any one for his wealth. Good
friends should not be easily forgotten, nor used as suits of apparel,
which, when we have worn them threadbare, we cast them off, and call
for new. When once you profess yourself a friend, endeaver to be
always such. He can never have any true friends that will be often
changing them.
9. HAVE THE COURAGE TO CUT THE MOST AGREEABLE ACQUAINTANCE.--Do this
when you are convinced that he lacks principle; a friend should bear
with a friend's infirmities, but not with his vices. He that does a
base thing in zeal for his friend, burns the golden thread that ties
their hearts together.
* * * * *
SELF-CONTROL.
"Honor and profit do not always lie in the same sack."--GEORGE
HERBERT.
"The government of one's self is the only true freedom for the
individual."--FREDERICK PERTHES.
"It is length of patience, and endurance, and forbearance that so much
of what is called good in mankind and womankind is shown."--ARTHUR
HELPS.
1. ESSENCE OF CHARACTER.--Self-control is only courage under another
form. It may also be regarded as the primary essence of character. It
is in virtue of this quality that Shakespeare defines man as a being
"looking before and after." It forms the chief distinction between man
and the mere animal; and, indeed, there can be no true manhood
without it.
[Illustration: RESULT OF BAD COMPANY.]
2. ROOT OF ALL THE VIRTUES.--Self-control is at the root of all the
virtues. Let a man give the reins to his impulses and passions, and
from that moment he yields up his moral freedom. He is carried along
the current of life, and becomes the slave of his strongest desire for
the time being.
3. RESIST INSTINCTIVE IMPULSE.--To be morally free--to be more than an
animal--man must be able to resist instinctive impulse, and this can
only be done by exercise of self-control. Thus it is this power which
constitutes the real distinction between a physical and a moral life,
and that forms the primary basis of individual character.
4. A STRONG MAN RULETH HIS OWN SPIRIT.--In the Bible praise is given,
not to a strong man who "taketh a city," but to the stronger man who
"ruleth his own spirit." This stronger man is he who, by discipline,
exercises a constant control over his thoughts, his speech, and his
acts. Nine-tenths of the vicious desires that degrade society, and
which, when indulged, swell into the crimes that disgrace it,
would shrink into insignificance before the advance of valiant
self-discipline, self-respect, and self-control. By the watchful
exercise of these virtues, purity of heart and mind become habitual,
and the character is built up in chastity, virtue, and temperance.
5. THE BEST SUPPORT.--The best support of character will always be
found in habit, which, according as the will is directed rightly or
wrongly, as the case may be, will prove either a benignant ruler, or
a cruel despot. We may be its willing subject on the one hand, or its
servile slave on the other. It may help us on the road to good, or it
may hurry us on the road to ruin.
6. THE IDEAL MAN.--"In the supremacy of self-control," says Herbert
Spencer, "consists one of the perfections of the ideal man. Not to be
impulsive, not to be spurred hither and thither by each desire that
in turn comes upper-most, but to be self-restrained, self-balanced,
governed by the joint decision of the feelings in council assembled,
before whom every action shall have been fully debated, and calmly
determined--that it is which education, moral education at least,
strives to produce."
7. THE BEST REGULATED HOME.--The best regulated home is always that
in which the discipline is the most perfect, and yet where it is the
least felt. Moral discipline acts with the force of a law of nature.
Those subject to it yield themselves to it unconsciously; and though
it shapes and forms the whole character, until the life becomes
crystallized in habit, the influence thus exercised is for the most
part unseen and almost unfelt.
8. PRACTICE SELF-DENIAL.--If a man would get through life honorably
and peaceably, he must necessarily learn to practice self-denial
in small things as well as in great. Men have to bear as well as to
forbear. The temper has to be held in subjection to the judgment;
and the little demons of ill-humor, petulance, and sarcasm, kept
resolutely at a distance. If once they find an entrance to the mind,
they are apt to return, and to establish for themselves a permanent
occupation there.
9. POWER OF WORDS.--It is necessary to one's personal happiness, to
exercise control over one's words as well as acts: for there are
words that strike even harder than blows; and men may "speak daggers,"
though they use none. The stinging repartee that rises to the lips,
and which, if uttered, might cover an adversary with confusion, how
difficult it is to resist saying it! "Heaven, keep us," says Miss
Bremer, in her 'Home', "from the destroying power of words! There are
words that sever hearts more than sharp swords do; there are words the
point of which sting the heart through the course of a whole life."
10. CHARACTER EXHIBITS ITSELF.--Character exhibits itself in
self-control of speech as much as in anything else. The wise and
forbearant man will restrain his desire to say a smart or severe thing
at the expense of another's feeling; while the fool blurts out what he
thinks, and will sacrifice his friend rather than his joke. "The mouth
of a wise man," said Solomon, "is in his heart; the heart of a fool is
in his mouth."
11. BURNS.--No one knew the value of self-control better than the poet
Burns, and no one could teach it more eloquently to others, but when
it came to practice, Burns was as weak as the weakest. He could not
deny himself the pleasure of uttering a harsh and clever sarcasm at
another's expense. One of his biographers observed of him, that it
was no extravagant arithmetic to say that for every ten jokes he made
himself a hundred enemies. But this was not all. Poor Burns exercised
no control over his appetites, but freely gave them the rein:
"Thus thoughtless follies laid him low,
And stained his name."
12. SOW POLLUTION.--Nor had he the self-denial to resist giving
publicity to compositions originally intended for the delight of the
tap-room, but which continued secretly to sow pollution broadcast in
the minds of youth. Indeed, notwithstanding the many exquisite poems
of this writer, it is not saying too much that his immoral writings
have done far more harm than his purer writings have done good; and
it would be better that all his writings should be destroyed and
forgotten, provided his indecent songs could be destroyed with them.
13. MORAL PRINCIPLE.--Many of our young men lack moral principle. They
cannot look upon a beautiful girl with a pure heart and pure thoughts.
They have not manifested or practiced that self-control which develops
true manhood and brings into subordination evil thoughts, evil
passions, and evil practices. Men who have no self-control will find
life a failure, both in a social and in a business sense. The world
despises an insignificant person who lacks backbone and character.
Stand upon your manhood and womanhood; honor your convictions, and
dare to do right.
14. STRONG DRINK.--There is the habit of strong drink. It is only the
lack of self-control that brings men into the depths of degradation;
on account of the cup, the habit of taking drink occasionally in
its milder forms--of playing with a small appetite that only needs
sufficient playing with to make you a demon or a dolt. You think you
are safe; I know you are not safe, if you drink at all; and when you
get offended with the good friends that warn you of your danger,
you are a fool. I know that the grave swallows daily, by scores,
drunkards, every one of whom thought he was safe while he was forming
his appetite. But this is old talk. A young man in this age who forms
the habit of drinking, or puts himself in danger of forming the habit,
is usually so weak that he does not realize the consequences.
[Illustration: LOST SELF-CONTROL.]
* * * * *
HABIT.
It is almost as difficult to make a man unlearn his Errors as his
Knowledge.--COLTON.
There are habits contracted by bad example, or bad management, before
we have judgment to discern their approaches, or because the eye of
Reason is laid asleep, or has not compass of view sufficient to look
around on every quarter.--TUCKER.
1. HABIT.--Our real strength in life depends upon habits formed in
early life. The young man who sows his wild oats and indulges in the
social cup, is fastening chains upon himself that never can be broken.
The innocent youth by solitary practice of self-abuse will fasten upon
himself a habit which will wreck his physical constitution and bring
suffering and misery and ruin. Young man and young woman, beware of
bad habits formed in early life.
2. A BUNDLE OF HABITS.--Man, it has been said, is a bundle of habits;
and habit is second nature. Metastasio entertained so strong an
opinion as to the power of repetition in act and thought, that he
said, "All is habit in mankind, even virtue itself." Evil habits
must be conquered, or they will conquer us and destroy our peace and
happiness.
3. VICIOUS HABITS.--Vicious habits, when opposed, offer the most
vigorous resistence on the first attack. At each successive encounter
this resistence grows fainter and fainter, until finally it ceases
altogether and the victory is achieved. Habit is man's best friend and
worst enemy; it can exalt him to the highest pinnacle of virtue, honor
and happiness, or sink him to the lowest depths of vice, shame and
misery.
4. HONESTY, OR KNAVERY.--We may form habits of honesty, or knavery;
truth, or falsehood; of industry, or idleness; frugality,
or extravagance; of patience, or impatience; self-denial, or
self-indulgence; of kindness, cruelty, politeness, rudeness, prudence,
perseverance, circumspection. In short, there, is not a virtue, nor a
vice; not an act of body, nor of mind, to which we may not be chained
down by this despotic power.
5. BEGIN WELL.--It is a great point for young men to begin well; for
it is the beginning of life that that system of conduct is adopted
which soon assumes the force of habit. Begin well, and the habit
of doing well will become quite easy, as easy as the habit of doing
badly. Pitch upon that course of life which is the most excellent, and
habit will render it the most delightful.
* * * * *
A GOOD NAME.
1. THE LONGING FOR A GOOD NAME.--The longing for a good name is one
of those laws of nature that were passed for the soul and written down
within to urge toward a life of action, and away from small or wicked
action. So large is this passion that it is set forth in poetic
thought, as having a temple grand as that of Jupiter or Minerva, and
up whose marble steps all noble minds struggle--the temple of Fame.
2. CIVILIZATION.--Civilization is the ocean of which the millions of
individuals are the rivers and torrents. These rivers and torrents
swell with those rains of money and home and fame and happiness,
and then fall and run almost dry, but the ocean of civilization has
gathered up all these waters, and holds them in sparkling beauty
for all subsequent use. Civilization is a fertile delta made by the
drifting souls of men.
3. FAME.--The word "fame" never signifies simply notoriety. The
meaning of the direct term may be seen from its negation or opposite,
for only the meanest of men are called infamous. They are utterly
without fame, utterly nameless; but if fame implied only notoriety,
then infamous would possess no marked significance. Fame is an
undertaker that pays but little attention to the living, but who
bedizens the dead, furnishes out their funerals and follows them to
the grave.
4. LIFE-MOTIVE.--So in studying that life-motive which is called a
"good name," we must ask the large human race to tell us the high
merit of this spiritual longing. We must read the words of the sage,
who said long centuries ago that "a good name was rather chosen than
great riches." Other sages have said as much. Solon said that "He that
will sell his good name will sell the State." Socrates said, "Fame is
the perfume of heroic deeds." Our Shakespeare said, "He lives in fame
who died in virtue's cause."
5. INFLUENCES OF OUR AGE.--Our age is deeply influenced by the motives
called property and home and pleasure, but it is a question whether
the generation in action today and the generation on the threshold
of this intense life are conscious fully of the worth of an honorable
name.
6. BEAUTY OF CHARACTER.--We do not know whether with us all a good
name is less sweet than it was with our fathers, but this is painfully
evident that our times do not sufficiently behold the beauty of
character--their sense does not detect quickly enough or love deeply
enough this aroma of heroic deeds.
7. SELLING OUT THEIR REPUTATION.--It is amazing what multitudes there
are who are willing to sell out their reputation, and amazing at what
a low price they will make the painful exchange. Some king remarked
that he would not tell a lie for any reward less than an empire. It
is not uncommon in our world for a man to sell out all his honor and
hopes for a score or a half score of dollars.
8. PRISONS OVERFLOWING.--Our prisons are all full to overflowing of
those who took no thought of honor. They have not waited for an empire
to be offered them before they would violate the sacred rights of man,
but many of them have even murdered for a cause that would not have
justified even an exchange of words.
9. INTEGRITY THE PRIDE OF THE GOVERNMENT.--If integrity were made the
pride of the government, the love of it would soon spring up among the
people. If all fraudulent men should go straight to jail, pitilessly,
and if all the most rigid characters were sought out for all political
and commercial offices, there would soon come a popular honesty just
as there has come a love of reading or of art. It is with character as
with any new article--the difficulty lies in its first introduction.
10. A NEW VIRTUE.--May a new virtue come into favor, all our high
rewards, those from the ballot-box, those from employers, the rewards
of society, the rewards of the press, should be offered only to
the worthy. A few years of rewarding the worthy would result in a
wonderful zeal in the young to build up, not physical property, but
mental and spiritual worth.
11. BLESSING THE FAMILY GROUP.--No young man or young woman can by
industry and care reach an eminence in study or art or character,
without blessing the entire family group. We have all seen that the
father and mother feel that all life's care and labor were at last
perfectly rewarded in the success of their child. But had the child
been reckless or indolent, all this domestic joy--the joy of a large
group--would have been blighted forever.
12. AN HONORED CHILD.--There have been triumphs at old Rome, where
victors marched along with many a chariot, many an elephant, and many
spoils of the East; and in all times money has been lavished in the
efforts of States to tell their pleasure in the name of some general;
but more numerous and wide-spread and beyond expression, by chariot
or cannon or drum, have been those triumphal hours, when some son or
daughter has returned to the parental hearth beautiful in the wreaths
of some confessed excellence, bearing a good name.
13. RICH CRIMINALS.--We looked at the utter wretchedness of the men
who threw away reputation, and would rather be rich criminals in exile
than be loved friends and persons at home.
14. AN EMPTY, OR AN EVIL NAME.--Young and old cannot afford to bear
the burden of an empty or an evil name. A good name is a motive of
life. It is a reason for that great encampment we call an existence.
While you are building the home of to-morrow, build up also that kind
of soul that can sleep sweetly on home's pillow, and can feel that God
is not near as an avenger of wrong, but as the Father not only of the
verdure and the seasons, but of you.
[Illustration: AN EGYPTIAN DANCER.]
* * * * *
THE MOTHER'S INFLUENCE.
Mother, O mother, my heart calls for you,
Many a Summer the grass has grown green,
Blossomed and faded, our faces between;
Yet with strong yearning and passionate pain,
Long I to-night for your presence again.
--_Elizabeth Akers Allen._
A mother is a mother still,
The holiest thing alive.
--_Coleridge._
There is none,
In all this cold and hollow world, no fount
Of deep, strong, deathless love, save that within
A mother's heart.
--_Mrs. Hemans._
And all my mother came into mine eyes,
And gave me up to tears.
--_Shakespeare._
1. HER INFLUENCE.--It is true to nature, although it be expressed in
a figurative form, that a mother is both the morning and the evening
star of life. The light of her eye is always the first to rise, and
often the last to set upon man's day of trial. She wields a power more
decisive far than syllogisms in argument or courts of last appeal in
authority.
2. HER LOVE.--Mother! ecstatic sound so twined round our hearts that
they must cease to throb ere we forget it; 'tis our first love; 'tis
part of religion. Nature has set the mother upon such a pinnacle that
our infant eyes and arms are first uplifted to it; we cling to it in
manhood; we almost worship it in old age.
3. HER TENDERNESS.--Alas! how little do we appreciate a mother's
tenderness while living. How heedless are we in youth of all her
anxieties and kindness! But when she is dead and gone, when the
cares and coldness of the world come withering to our hearts, when we
experience for ourselves how hard it is to find true sympathy, how few
to love us, how few will befriend us in misfortune, then it is that we
think of the mother we have lost.
4. HER CONTROLLING POWER.--The mother can take man's whole nature
under her control. She becomes what she has been called "The Divinity
of Infancy." Her smile is its sunshine, her word its mildest law,
until sin and the world have steeled the heart.
[Illustration: A PRAYERFUL AND DEVOTED MOTHER.]
5. THE LAST TIE.--The young man who has forsaken the advice and
influence of his mother has broken the last cable and severed the last
tie that binds him to an honorable and upright life. He has forsaken
his best friend, and every hope for his future welfare may be
abandoned, for he is lost forever, if he is faithless to mother, he
will have but little respect for wife and children.
6. HOME TIES.--The young man or young woman who love their home and
love their mother can be safely trusted under almost any and all
circumstances, and their life will not be a blank, for they seek what
is good. Their hearts will be ennobled, and God will bless them.
[Illustration: HOME AMUSEMENTS.]
* * * * *
HOME POWER.
"The mill-streams that turn the clappers of the world arise in
solitary places."--HELPS.
"Lord! with what care hast Thou begirt us round!
Parents first season us. Then schoolmasters
Deliver us to laws. They send us bound
To rules of reason."--GEORGE HERBERT.
1. SCHOOL OF CHARACTER.--Home is the first and most important school
of character. It is there that every human being receives his best
moral training, or his worst, for it is there that he imbibes those
principles of conduct which endure through manhood, and cease only
with life.
2. HOME MAKES THE MAN.--It is a common saying, "Manners make the
man;" and there is a second, that "Mind makes the man;" but truer than
either is a third, that "Home makes the man." For the home-training
includes not only manners and mind, but character. It is mainly in the
home that the heart is opened, the habits are formed, the intellect is
awakened, and character moulded for good or for evil.
3. GOVERN SOCIETY.--From that source, be it pure or impure, issue
the principles and maxims that govern society. Law itself is but the
reflex of homes. The tiniest bits of opinion sown in the minds of
children in private life afterwards issue forth to the world, and
become its public opinion; for nations are gathered out of nurseries,
and they who hold the leading-strings of children may even exercise a
greater power than those who wield the reins of government.
4. THE CHILD IS FATHER OF THE MAN.--The child's character is the
nucleus of the man's; all after-education is but superposition; the
form of the crystal remains the same. Thus the saying of the poet
holds true in a large degree, "The child is father of the man;" or
as Milton puts it, "The childhood shows the man, as morning shows the
day." Those impulses to conduct which last the longest and are rooted
the deepest, always have their origin near our birth. It is then that
the germs of virtues or vices, of feelings or sentiments, are first
implanted which determine the character of life.
5. NURSERIES.--Thus homes, which are nurseries of children who grow
up into men and women, will be good or bad according to the power that
governs them. Where the spirit of love and duty pervades the home,
where head and heart bear rule wisely there, where the daily life
is honest and virtuous, where the government is sensible, kind, and
loving, then may we expect from such a home an issue of healthy,
useful, and happy beings, capable as they gain the requisite strength,
of following the footsteps of their parents, of walking uprightly,
governing themselves wisely, and contributing to the welfare of those
about them.
6. IGNORANCE, COARSENESS, AND SELFISHNESS.--On the other hand, if
surrounded by ignorance, coarseness, and selfishness, they will
unconsciously assume the same character, and grow up to adult years
rude, uncultivated, and all the more dangerous to society if placed
amidst the manifold temptations of what is called civilized life.
"Give your child to be educated by a slave," said an ancient Greek
"and, instead of one slave, you will then have two."
7. MATERNAL LOVE.--Maternal love is the visible providence of our
race. Its influence is constant and universal. It begins with the
education of the human being at the outstart of life, and is prolonged
by virtue of the powerful influence which every good mother exercises
over her children through life. When launched into the world, each
to take part in its labors, anxieties, and trials, they still turn
to their mother for consolation, if not for counsel, in their time of
trouble and difficulty. The pure and good thoughts she has implanted
in their minds when children continue to grow up into good acts long
after she is dead; and when there is nothing but a memory of her left,
her children rise up and call her blessed.
8. WOMAN, ABOVE ALL OTHER EDUCATORS, educates humanly. Man is the
brain, but woman is the heart of humanity; he its judgment, she its
feeling; he its strength, she its grace, ornament and solace. Even
the understanding of the best woman seems to work mainly through
her affections. And thus, though man may direct the intellect, woman
cultivates the feelings, which mainly determine the character. While
he fills the memory, she occupies the heart. She makes us love what
he can make us only believe, and it is chiefly through her that we are
enabled to arrive at virtue.
9. THE POOREST DWELLING, presided over by a virtuous, thrifty,
cheerful, and cleanly woman may thus be the abode of comfort, virtue
and happiness; it may be the scene of every enobling relation
in family life; it may be endeared to man by many delightful
associations; furnishing a sanctuary for the heart, a refuge from the
storms of life, a sweet resting-place after labor, a consolation in
misfortune, a pride in prosperity and a joy at all times.
10. THE GOOD HOME IS THUS THE BEST OF SCHOOLS, not only in youth
but in age. There young and old best learn cheerfulness, patience,
self-control, and the spirit of service and of duty. The home is the
true school of courtesy, of which woman is always the best practical
instructor. "Without woman," says the Provencal proverb, "men were
but ill-licked cubs." Philanthropy radiates from the home as from a
center. "To love the little platoon we belong to in society," said
Burke, "is the germ of all public affections." The wisest and best
have not been ashamed to own it to be their greatest joy and happiness
to sit "behind the heads of children" in the inviolable circle of
home.
[Illustration]
[Illustration: DAY DREAMING.]
* * * * *
TO YOUNG WOMEN.
1. TO BE A WOMAN, in the truest and highest sense of the word is to be
the best thing beneath the skies. To be a woman is something more than
to live eighteen or twenty years; something more than to grow to
the physical stature of women; something more than to wear flounces,
exhibit dry goods, sport jewelry, catch the gaze of lewd-eyed men;
something more than to be a belle, a wife, or a mother. Put all these
qualifications together and they do but little toward making a true
woman.
2. BEAUTY AND STYLE are not the surest passports to womanhood--some of
the noblest specimens of womanhood that the world has ever seen have
presented the plainest and most unprepossessing appearance. A woman's
worth is to be estimated by the real goodness of her heart, the
greatness of her soul, and the purity and sweetness of her character;
and a woman with a kindly disposition and well-balanced temper is both
lovely and attractive, be her face ever so plain, and her figure ever
so homely; she makes the best of wives and the truest of mothers.
3. BEAUTY IS A DANGEROUS GIFT.--It is even so. Like wealth, it has
ruined its thousands. Thousands of the most beautiful women are
destitute of common sense and common humanity. No gift from heaven
is so general and so widely abused by woman as the gift of beauty. In
about nine cases in ten it makes her silly, senseless, thoughtless,
giddy, vain, proud, frivolous, selfish, low and mean. I think I have
seen more girls spoiled by beauty than by any other one thing, "She
is beautiful, and she knows it," is as much as to say that she is
spoiled. A beautiful girl is very likely to believe she was made to be
looked at; and so she sets herself up for a show at every window, in
every door, on every corner of the street, in every company at which
opportunity offers for an exhibition of herself.
4. BEWARE OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN.--These facts have long since taught
sensible men to beware of beautiful women--to sound them carefully
before they give them their confidence. Beauty is shallow--only skin
deep; fleeting--only for a few years' reign; dangerous--tempting to
vanity and lightness of mind; deceitful--dazzling of ten to bewilder;
weak--reigning only to ruin; gross--leading often to sensual pleasure.
And yet we say it need not be so. Beauty is lovely and ought to be
innocently possessed. It has charms which ought to be used for good
purposes. It is a delightful gift, which ought to be received with
gratitude and worn with grace and meekness. It should always minister
to inward beauty. Every woman of beautiful form and features should
cultivate a beautiful mind and heart.
5. RIVAL THE BOYS.--We want the girls to rival the boys in all that is
good, and refined, and ennobling. We want them to rival the boys, as
they well can, in learning, in understanding, in virtues; in all noble
qualities of mind and heart, but not in any of those things that have
caused them, justly or unjustly, to be described as savages. We
want the girls to be gentle--not weak, but gentle, and kind and
affectionate. We want to be sure, that wherever a girl is, there
should be a sweet, subduing and harmonizing influence of purity,
and truth, and love, pervading and hallowing, from center to
circumference, the entire circle in which she moves. If the boys are
savages, we want her to be their civilizer. We want her to tame them,
to subdue their ferocity, to soften their manners, and to teach them
all needful lessons of order, sobriety, and meekness, and patience and
goodness.
6. KINDNESS.--Kindness is the ornament of man--it is the chief glory
of woman--it is, indeed, woman's true prerogative--her sceptre and
her crown. It is the sword with which she conquers, and the charm with
which she captivates.
7. ADMIRED AND BELOVED.--Young lady, would you be admired and beloved?
Would you be an ornament to your sex, and a blessing to your race?
Cultivate this heavenly virtue. Wealth may surround you with its
blandishments, and beauty, and learning, or talents, may give you
admirers, but love and kindness alone can captivate the heart. Whether
you live in a cottage or a palace, these graces can surround you with
perpetual sunshine, making you, and all around you, happy.
8. INWARD GRACE.--Seek ye then, fair daughters, the possession of
that inward grace, whose essence shall permeate and vitalize the
affections, adorn the countenance make mellifluous the voice, and
impart a hallowed beauty even to your motions. Not merely that you
may be loved, would I urge this, but that you may, in truth, be
lovely--that loveliness which fades not with time, nor is marred or
alienated by disease, but which neither chance nor change can in any
way despoil.
9. SILKEN ENTICEMENTS OF THE STRANGER.--We urge you, gentle maiden, to
beware of the silken enticements of the stranger, until your love
is confirmed by protracted acquaintance. Shun the idler, though his
coffers overflow with pelf. Avoid the irreverent--the scoffer of
hallowed things; and him who "looks upon the wine while it is red;"
him too, "who hath a high look and a proud heart," and who "privily
slandereth his neighbor." Do not heed the specious prattle about
"first love," and so place, irrevocably, the seal upon your future
destiny, before you have sounded, in silence and secrecy, the deep
fountains of your own heart. Wait, rather, until your own character
and that of him who would woo you, is more fully developed. Surely, if
this "first love" cannot endure a short probation, fortified by
"the pleasures of hope," how can it be expected to survive years of
intimacy, scenes of trial, distracting cares, wasting sickness,
and all the homely routine of practical life? Yet it is these that
constitute life, and the love that cannot abide them is false and must
die.
[Illustration: ROMAN LADIES.]
* * * * *
INFLUENCE OF FEMALE CHARACTER.
1. MORAL EFFECT.--It is in its moral effect on the mind and the heart
of man, that the influence of woman is most powerful and important. In
the diversity of tastes, habits, inclinations, and pursuits of the two
sexes, is found a most beneficent provision for controlling the force
and extravagance of human passion. The objects which most strongly
seize and stimulate the mind of man, rarely act at the same time and
with equal power on the mind of woman. She is naturally better, purer,
and more chaste in thought and language.
2. FEMALE CHARACTER.--But the influence of female character on the
virtue of men, is not seen merely in restraining and softening the
violence of human passion. To her is mainly committed the task of
pouring into the opening mind of infancy its first impressions of
duty, and of stamping on its susceptible heart the first image of its
God. Who will not confess the influence of a mother in forming the
heart of a child? What man is there who can not trace the origin of
many of the best maxims of his life to the lips of her who gave him
birth? How wide, how lasting, how sacred is that part of a woman's
influence.
3. VIRTUE OF A COMMUNITY.--There is yet another mode by which woman
may exert a powerful influence on the virtue of a community. It rests
with her in a pre-eminent degree, to give tone and elevation to the
moral character of the age, by deciding the degree of virtue that
shall be necessary to afford a passport to her society. If all the
favor of woman were given only to the good, if it were known that the
charms and attractions of beauty and wisdom, and wit, were reserved
only for the pure; if, in one word, something of a similar rigor were
exerted to exclude the profligate and abandoned of society, as is
shown to those, who have fallen from virtue,--how much would be done
to re-enforce the motives to moral purity among us, and impress on the
minds of all a reverence for the sanctity and obligations of virtue.
4. THE INFLUENCE OF WOMAN ON THE MORAL SENTIMENTS.--The influence of
woman on the moral sentiments of society is intimately connected with
her influence on its religious character; for religion and a pure and
elevated morality must ever stand in the relation to each other of
effect and cause. The heart of a woman is formed for the abode of
sacred truth; and for the reasons alike honorable to her character and
to that of society. From the nature of humanity this must be so, or
the race would soon degenerate and moral contagion eat out the heart
of society. The purity of home is the safeguard to American manhood.
[Illustration]
* * * * *
PERSONAL PURITY.
"Self-reverence, self-knowledge, self-control,
These three alone lead life to sovereign power."--Tennyson
1. WORDS OF THE GREAT TEACHER.--Mark the words of the Great Teacher:
"If thy right hand or foot cause thee to fall, cut it off and cast it
from thee. If thy right eye cause thee to fall, pluck it out. It is
better for thee to enter into life maimed and halt, than having two
eyes to be cast into hell-fire, where the worm dieth not, and the fire
is not quenched."
2. A MELANCHOLY FACT.--It is a melancholy fact in human experience,
that the noblest gifts which men possess are constantly prostituted
to other purposes than those for which they are designed. The most
valuable and useful organs of the body are those which are capable
of the greatest dishonor, abuse, and corruption. What a snare the
wonderful organism of the eye may become, when used to read corrupt
books, or to look upon licentious pictures, or vulgar theater scenes,
or when used to meet the fascinating gaze of the harlot! What an
instrument for depraving the whole man may be found in the matchless
powers of the brain, the hand, the mouth, or the tongue! What potent
instruments may these become in accomplishing the ruin of the whole
being, for time and eternity!
3. Abstinence.--Some can testify with thankfulness that they never
knew the sins of gambling, drunkenness, fornication, or adultery. In
all these cases abstinence has been, and continues to be, liberty.
Restraint is the noblest freedom. No man can affirm that self-denial
ever injured him; on the contrary, self-restraint has been liberty,
strength and blessing. Solemnly ask young men to remember this when
temptation and passion strive as a floodtide to move them from the
anchorage and peace of self-restraint. Beware of the deceitful stream
of temporary gratification, whose eddying current drifts towards
license, shame, disease and death. Remember how quickly moral power
declines, how rapidly the edge of the fatal maelstrom is reached, how
near the vortex, how terrible the penalty, how fearful the sentence of
everlasting punishment!
4. FRANK DISCUSSION.--The time has arrived for a full and frank
discussion of those things which affect the personal purity. Thousands
are suffering to-day from various weaknesses, the causes of which they
have never learned. Manly vigor is not increasing with that rapidity
which a Christian age demands. Means of dissipation are on the
increase. It is high time, therefore, that every lover of the
race should call a halt, and inquire into the condition of things.
Excessive modesty on this subject is not virtue. Timidity in
presenting unpleasant but important truths has permitted untold damage
in every age.
5. MAN IS A CARELESS BEING.--He is very much inclined to sinful
things. He more often does that which is wrong than that which is
right, because it is easier, and, for the moment, perhaps, more
satisfying to the flesh. The Creator is often blamed for man's
weaknesses and inconsistencies. This is wrong. God did not intend that
we should be mere machines, but free moral agents. We are privileged
to choose between good and evil. Hence, if we perseveringly choose
the latter, and make a miserable failure of life, we should blame only
ourselves.
6. THE PULPIT.--Would that every pulpit in the land might join hands
with the medical profession and cry out with no uncertain sound
against the mighty evils herein stigmatized! It would work a
revolution for which coming society could never cease to be grateful.
7. STRIVE TO ATTAIN A HIGHER LIFE.--Strive to attain unto a higher
and better life. Beware of all excesses, of whatever nature, and guard
your personal purity with sacred determination. Let every aspiration
be upward, and be strong in every good, resolution. Seek the light,
for in light there is life, while in darkness there is decay and
death.
[Illustration: THE FIRST LOVE LETTER.]
[Illustration]
* * * * *
HOW TO WRITE ALL KINDS OF LETTERS.
1. From the President in his cabinet to the laborer in the street;
from the lady in her parlor to the servant in her kitchen; from the
millionaire to the beggar; from the emigrant to the settler; from
every country and under every combination of circumstances, letter
writing in all its forms and varieties is most important to the
advancement, welfare and happiness of the human family.
2. EDUCATION.--The art of conveying thought through the medium of
written language is so valuable and so necessary, a thorough knowledge
of the practice must be desirable to every one. For merely to write a
good letter requires the exercise of much of the education and talent
of any writer.
3. A GOOD LETTER.--A good letter must be correct in every mechanical
detail, finished in style, interesting in substance, and intelligible
in construction. Few there are who do not need write them; yet
a letter perfect in detail is rarer than any other specimen of
composition.
4. PENMANSHIP.--It is folly to suppose that the faculty for writing a
good hand is confined to any particular persons. There is no one who
can write at all, but what can write well, if only the necessary pains
are practiced. Practice makes perfect. Secure a few copy books and
write an hour each day. You will soon write a good hand.
5. WRITE PLAINLY.--Every word of even the most trifling document
should be written in such clear characters that it would be impossible
to mistake it for another word, or the writer may find himself in the
position of the Eastern merchant who, writing to the Indies for five
thousand mangoes, received by the next vessel five hundred monkies,
with a promise of more in the next cargo.
6. HASTE.--Hurry is no excuse for bad writing, because any one of
sense knows that everything hurried is liable to be ruined. Dispatch
may be acquired, but hurry will ruin everything. If, however, you must
write slowly to write well, then be careful not to hurry at all, for
the few moments you will gain by rapid writing will never compensate
you for the disgrace of sending an ill-written letter.
7. NEATNESS.--Neatness is also of great importance. A fair white sheet
with handsomely written words will be more welcome to any reader than
a blotted, bedaubed page covered with erasures and dirt, even if
the matter in each be of equal value and interest. Erasures, blots,
interlineations always spoil the beauty of any letter.
8. BAD SPELLING.--When those who from faulty education, or
forgetfulness are doubtful about the correct spelling of any word,
it is best to keep a dictionary at hand, and refer to it upon such
occasions. It is far better to spend a few moments in seeking for a
doubtful word, than to dispatch an ill-spelled letter, and the
search will probably impress the spelling upon the mind for a future
occasion.
9. CARELESSNESS.--Incorrect spelling will expose the most important
or interesting letter to the severest sarcasm and ridicule. However
perfect in all other respects, no epistle that is badly spelled will
be regarded as the work of an educated gentleman or lady. Carelessness
will never be considered, and to be ignorant of spelling is to expose
an imperfect education at once.
10. AN EXCELLENT PRACTICE.--After writing a letter, read it over
carefully, correct all the errors and re-write it. If you desire to
become a good letter writer, improve your penmanship, improve your
language and grammar, re-writing once or twice every letter that you
have occasion to write, whether on social or business subjects.
11. PUNCTUATION.--A good rule for punctuation is to punctuate where
the sense requires it, after writing a letter and reading it over
carefully you will see where the punctuation marks are required, you
can readily determine where the sense requires it, so that your letter
will convey the desired meaning.
[Illustration]
12. CORRESPONDENCE.--There is no better school or better source for
self-improvement than a pleasant correspondence between friends. It
is not at all difficult to secure a good list of correspondents if
desired. The young people who take advantage of such opportunities
for self-improvement will be much more popular in the community and in
society. Letter writing cultivates the habit of study; it cultivates
the mind, the heart, and stimulates self-improvement in general.
13. FOLDING.--Another bad practice with those unaccustomed to
corresponding is to fold the sheet of writing in such a fantastic
manner as to cause the receiver much annoyance in opening it. To the
sender it may appear a very ingenious performance, but to the receiver
it is only a source of vexation and annoyance, and may prevent the
communication receiving the attention it would otherwise merit.
14. SIMPLE STYLE.--The style of letter writing should be simple and
unaffected, not raised on stilts and indulging in pedantic displays
which are mostly regarded as cloaks of ignorance. Repeated literary
quotations, involved sentences, long-sounding words and scraps of
Latin, French and other languages are, generally speaking, out of
place, and should not be indulged in.
15. THE RESULT.--A well written letter has opened the way to
prosperity for many a one, has led to many a happy marriage and
constant friendship, and has secured many a good service in time of
need; for it is in some measure a photograph of the writer, and may
inspire love or hatred, regard or aversion in the reader, just as
the glimpse of a portrait often determine us, in our estimate, of
the worth of the person represented. Therefore, one of the roads
to fortune runs through the ink bottle, and if we want to attain a
certain end in love, friendship or business, we must trace out the
route correctly with the pen in our hand.
[Illustration]
* * * * *
HOW TO WRITE A LOVE LETTER.
1. LOVE.--There is no greater or more profound reality than love. Why
that reality should be obscured by mere sentimentalism, with all
its train of absurdities is incomprehensible. There is no nobler
possession than the love of another. There is no higher gift from one
human being to another than love. The gift and the possession are true
sanctifiers of life, and should be worn as precious jewels, without
affectation and without bashfulness. For this reason there is nothing
to be ashamed of in a love letter, provided it be sincere.
2. FORFEITS.--No man need consider that he forfeits dignity if he
speaks with his whole heart: no woman need fear she forfeits her
womanly attributes if she responds as her heart bids her respond.
"Perfect love casteth out fear" is as true now as when the maxim was
first given to the world.
3. TELLING THEIR LOVE.--The generality of the sex is, love to be
loved; how are they to know the fact that they are loved unless they
are told? To write a sensible love letter requires more talent than
to solve, with your pen, a profound problem in philosophy. Lovers must
not then expect much from each other's epistles.
4. CONFIDENTIAL.--Ladies and gentlemen who correspond with each other
should never be guilty of exposing any of the contents of any letters
written expressing confidence, attachment or love. The man who
confides in a lady and honors her with his confidence should be
treated with perfect security and respect, and those who delight in
showing their confidential letters to others are unworthy, heartless
and unsafe companions.
5. RETURN OF LETTERS.--If letters were written under circumstances
which no longer exist and all confidential relations are at an end,
then all letters should be promptly returned.
6. HOW TO BEGIN A LOVE LETTER.--How to begin a love letter has been no
doubt the problem of lovers and suitors of all ages and nations. Fancy
the youth of Young America with lifted pen, thinking how he shall
address his beloved. Much depends upon this letter. What shall he say,
and how shall he say it, is the great question. Perseverance, however,
will solve the problem and determine results.
7. FORMS OF BEGINNING A LOVE LETTER.--Never say, "My Dearest Nellie,"
"My Adored Nellie," or "My Darling Nellie," until Nellie has first
called you "My Dear," or has given you to understand that such
familiar terms are permissible. As a rule a gentleman will never
err if he says "Dear Miss Nellie," and if the letters are cordially
reciprocated the "Miss" may in time be omitted, or other familiar
terms used instead. In addressing a widow "Dear Madam," or, "My Dear
Madam," will be a proper form until sufficient intimacy will justify
the use of other terms.
8. RESPECT.--A lady must always be treated with respectful delicacy,
and a gentleman should never use the term "Dear" or "My Dear" under
any circumstances unless he knows it is perfectly acceptable or a long
and friendly acquaintance justifies it.
9. HOW TO FINISH A LETTER.--A letter will be suggested by the remarks
on how to begin one. "Yours respectfully," "Yours truly," "Yours
sincerely," "Yours affectionately," "Yours ever affectionately,"
"Yours most affectionately," "Ever yours," "Ever your own," or
"Yours," are all appropriate, each depending upon the beginning of the
letter. It is difficult to see any phrase which could be added to
them which would carry more meaning than they contain. People can sign
themselves "adorers" and such like, but they do so at the peril of
good taste. It is not good that men or women "worship" each other--if
they succeed in preserving reciprocal love and esteem they will have
cause for great contentment.
10. PERMISSION.--No young man should ever write to a young lady any
letter, formal or informal, unless he has first sought her permission
to do so.
11. SPECIAL FORMS.--We give various forms or models of love letters to
be _studied, not copied._ We have given no replies to the forms given,
as every letter written will naturally suggest an answer. A careful
study will be a great help to many who have not enjoyed the advantages
of a literary education.
[Illustration]
* * * * *
FORMS OF SOCIAL LETTERS.
_1.--From a Young Lady to a Clergyman Asking a Recommendation._
Nantwich, May 18th, 1915
Reverend and Dear Sir:
Having seen an advertisment for a school mistress in the Daily
Times, I have been recommended to offer myself as a candidate.
Will you kindly favor me with a testimonial as to my
character, ability and conduct while at Boston Normal School?
Should you consider that I am fitted for the position,
you would confer a great favor on me if you would interest
yourself in my behalf.
I remain, Reverend Sir,
Your most obedient and humble servant,
LAURA B. NICHOLS.
_2.--Applying for a Position as a Teacher of Music._
Scotland, Conn., January 21st, 1915
Madam,
Seeing your advertisement in The Clarion of to-day, I write to
offer my services as a teacher of music in your family.
I am a graduate of the Peabody Institute, of Baltimore, where
I was thoroughly instructed in instrumental and vocal music.
I refer by permission to Mrs. A.J. Davis, 1922 Walnut Street;
Mrs. Franklin Hill, 2021 Spring Garden Street, and Mrs.
William Murray, 1819 Spruce Street, in whose families I have
given lessons.
Hoping that you may see fit to employ me, I am,
Very respectfully yours,
NELLIE REYNOLDS.
_3.--Applying for a Situation as a Cook._
Charlton Place, September 8th, 1894.
Madam:
Having seen your advertisement for a cook in to-day's Times,
I beg to offer myself for your place. I am a thorough cook. I
can make clear soups, entrees, jellies, and all kinds of made
dishes. I can bake, and am also used to a dairy. My wages are
$4 per week, and I can give good reference from my last place,
in which I lived for two years. I am thirty-three years of
age.
I remain, Madam,
Yours very respectfully,
MARY MOONEY.
_4.--Recommending a School Teacher._
Ottawa, Ill., February 10th, 1894.
Col. Geo. H. Haight,
President Board of Trustees, etc.
Dear Sir: I take pleasure in recommending to your favorable
consideration the application of Miss Hannah Alexander for the
position of teacher in the public school at Weymouth.
Miss Alexander is a graduate of the Davidson Seminary, and for
the past year has taught a school in this place. My children
have been among her pupils, and their progress has been
entirely satisfactory to me.
Miss Alexander is a strict disciplinarian, an excellent
teacher, and is thoroughly competent to conduct the school for
which she applies.
Trusting that you may see fit to bestow upon her the
appointment she seeks, I am.
Yours very respectfully,
ALICE MILLER.
_5.--A Business Introduction._
J.W. Brown, Earlville, Ill.
Chicago, Ill., May 1st, 1915
My Dear Sir: This will introduce to you Mr. William Channing,
of this city, who visits Earlville on a matter of business,
which he will explain to you in person. You can rely upon his
statements, as he is a gentleman of high character, and should
you be able to render him any assistance, it would be greatly
appreciated by
Yours truly,
HAIGHT LARABEE.
_6.--Introducing One Lady to Another._
Dundee, Tenn., May 5th, 1894.
Dear Mary:
Allow me to introduce to you my ever dear friend, Miss Nellie
Reynolds, the bearer of this letter. You have heard me speak
of her so often that you will know at once who she is. As I
am sure you will be mutually pleased with each other, I have
asked her to inform you of her presence in your city. Any
attention you may show her will be highly appreciated by
Yours affectionately,
LIZZIE EICHER.
_7.--To a Lady, Apologizing for a Broken Engagement._
Albany, N.Y., May 10th, 1894.
My Dear Miss Lee:
Permit me to explain my failure to keep my appointment with
you this evening. I was on my way to your house, with the
assurance of a pleasant evening, when unfortunately I was very
unexpectedly called from home on very important business.
I regret my disappointment, but hope that the future may
afford us many pleasant meetings.
Sincerely your friend,
IRVING GOODRICH.
_8.--Form of an Excuse for a Pupil._
Thursday Morning, April 4th
Mr. Bunnel:
You will please excuse William for non-attendance at school
yesterday, as I was compelled to keep him at home to attend to
a matter of business. MRS. A. SMITH.
_9.--Form of Letter Accompanying a Present._
Louisville, July 6, 1895
My Dearest Nelly:
Many happy returns of the day. So fearful was I that it would
escape your memory, that I thought I would send you this
little trinket by way of reminder, I beg you to accept it and
wear it for the sake of the giver. With love and best wishes.
Believe me ever, your sincere friend,
CAROLINE COLLINS.
_10.--Returning Thanks for the Present._
Louisville, July 6, 1894.
Dear Mrs. Collins:
I am very much obliged to you for the handsome bracelet
you have sent me. How kind and thoughtful it was of you to
remember me on my birthday. I am sure I have every cause to
bless the day, and did I forget it, I have many kind friends
to remind me of it. Again thanking you for your present, which
is far too beautiful for me, and also for your kind wishes.
Believe me, your most grateful,
BERTHA SMITH.
_11.--Congratulating a Friend Upon His Marriage._
Menton, N.Y., May 24th, 1894.
My Dear Everett:
I have, to-day received the invitation to your wedding, and
as I cannot be present at that happy event to offer my
congratulations in person, I write.
I am heartily glad you are going to be married, and
congratulate you upon the wisdom of your choice. You have won
a noble as well as a beautiful woman, and one whose love will
make you a happy man to your life's end. May God grant that
trouble may not come near you but should it be your lot, you
will have a wife to whom you can look with confidence for
comfort, and whose good sense and devotion to you will be your
sure and unfailing support.
That you may both be very happy, and that your happiness may
increase with your years, is the prayer of
Your Friend, FRANK HOWARD.
* * * * *
LETTER WRITING.
Any extravagant flattery should be avoided, both as tending to disgust
those to whom it is addressed, as well as to degrade the writers,
and to create suspicion as to their sincerity. The sentiments should
spring from the tenderness of the heart, and, when faithfully and
delicately expressed, will never be read without exciting sympathy or
emotion in all hearts not absolutely deadened by insensibility.
DECLARATION OF AFFECTION.
Dear Nellie: Will you allow me, in a few plain and simple
words, respectfully to express the sincere esteem and
affection I entertain for you, and to ask whether I may
venture to hope that these sentiments are returned? I love
you truly and earnestly and knowing you admire frankness
and candor in all things, I cannot think that you will take
offense at this letter. Perhaps it is self-flattery to suppose
I have any place in your regard. Should this be so, the error
will carry with it its own punishment, for my happy dream will
be over. I will try to think otherwise, however, and shall
await your answer with hope. Trusting soon to hear from you, I
remain, dear Nellie.
Sincerely Yours,
J.L. Master
To Miss Nellie Reynolds,
Hartford, Conn.
[Illustration]
* * * * *
FORMS OF LOVE LETTERS.
_12.--An Ardent Declaration._
Naperville, Ill., June 10th, 1915
My Dearest Laura:
I can no longer restrain myself from writing to you, dearest
and best of girls, what I have often been on the point of
saying to you. I love you so much that I cannot find words in
which to express my feelings. I have loved you from the very
first day we met, and always shall. Do you blame me because I
write so freely? I should be unworthy of you if I did not tell
you the whole truth. Oh, Laura, can you love me in return?
I am sure I shall not be able to bear it if your answer is
unfavorable. I will study your every wish if you will give
me the right to do so. May I hope? Send just one kind word to
your sincere friend.
HARRY SMITH.
_13.--A Lover's Good-bye Before Starting on a Journey._
Pearl St., New York, March 11th, 1894.
My Dearest Nellie: I am off to-morrow, and yet not altogether,
for I leave my heart behind in your gentle keeping. You need
not place a guard over it, however, for it is as impossible
that it should stay away, as for a bit of steel to rush from a
magnet. The simile is eminently correct for you, my dear girl,
are a magnet, and my heart is as true to you as steel. I shall
make my absence as brief as possible. Not a day, not an hour,
not a minute, shall I waste either in going or returning. Oh,
this business; but I wont complain, for we must have something
for our hive besides honey--something that rhymes with it--and
that we must have it, I must bestir myself. You will find me
a faithful correspondent. Like the spider, I shall drop a line
by (almost) every post; and mind, you must give me letter for
letter. I can't give you credit. Your returns must be prompt
and punctual.
Passionately yours,
LEWIS SHUMAN.
To Miss Nellie Carter,
No. -- Fifth Avenue, New York.
_14.--From an Absent Lover._
Chicago, Ill., Sept. 10, 1915
My Dearest Kate: This sheet of paper, though I should cover
it with loving words, could never tell you truly how I long
to see you again. Time does not run on with me now at the
same pace as with other people; the hours seem days, the days
weeks, while I am absent from you, and I have no faith in the
accuracy of clocks and almanacs. Ah! if there were truth in
clairvoyance, wouldn't I be with you at this moment! I wonder
if you are as impatient to see me as I am to fly to you?
Sometimes it seems as if I must leave business and every
thing else to the Fates, and take the first train to Dawson.
However, the hours do move, though they don't appear to, and
in a few more weeks we shall meet again. Let me hear from you
as frequently as possible in the meantime. Tell me of your
health, your amusements and your affections.
Remember that every word you write will be a comfort to me.
Unchangeably yours,
WILLIAM MILLER.
To Miss Kate Martin,
Dawson, N.D.
_15.--A Declaration of Love at First Sight._
Waterford, Maine, May 8th, 1915
Dear Miss Searles:
Although I have been in your society but once the impression
you have made upon me is so deep and powerful that I cannot
forbear writing to you, in defiance of all rules of etiquette.
Affection is sometimes of slow growth but sometimes it springs
up in a moment. In half an hour after I was introduced to you
my heart was no longer my own, I have not the assurance
to suppose that I have been fortunate enough to create any
interest in yours; but will you allow me to cultivate your
acquaintance in the hope or being able to win your regard in
the course of time? Petitioning for a few lines in reply.
I remain, dear Miss Searles,
Yours devotedly,
E.C. NICKS.
Miss E. Searles,
Waterford, Maine.
_16.--Proposing Marriage._
Wednesday, October 20th, 1894
Dearest Etta:
The delightful hours I have passed in your society have left
an impression on my mind that is altogether indelible,
and cannot be effaced even by time itself. The frequent
opportunities I have possessed, of observing the thousand acts
of amiability and kindness which mark the daily tenor of your
life, have ripened my feelings of affectionate regard into
a passion at once ardent and sincere until I have at length
associated my hopes of future happiness with the idea of you
as a life partner, in them. Believe me, dearest Etta, this is
no puerile fancy, but the matured results of a long and warmly
cherished admiration of your many charms of person and mind.
It is love--pure devoted love, and I feel confident that your
knowledge of my character will lead you to ascribe my motives
to their true source.
May I then implore you to consult your own heart, and should
this avowal of my fervent and honorable passion for you
be crowned with your acceptance and approval, to grant me
permission to refer the matter to your parents. Anxiously
awaiting your answer,
I am, dearest Etta,
Your sincere and faithful lover,
GEO. COURTRIGHT.
To Miss Etta Jay,
Malden, Ill.
_17.--From a Gentleman to a Widow._
Philadelphia, May 10th, 1915
My Dear Mrs. Freeman:
I am sure you are too clear-sighted not to have observed the
profound impression which your amiable qualities, intelligence
and personal attractions have made upon my heart, and as you
nave not repelled my attentions nor manifested displeasure
when I ventured to hint at the deep interest I felt in your
welfare and happiness, I cannot help hoping that you will
receive an explicit expression of my attachments, kindly and
favorably. I wish it were in my power to clothe the feelings
I entertain for you in such words as should make my pleadings
irresistible; but, after all, what could I say, more than you
are very dear to me, and that the most earnest desire of my
soul is to have the privilege of calling you my wife? Do
you, can you love me? You will not, I am certain, keep me in
suspense, for you are too good and kind to trifle for a moment
with sincerity like mine. Awaiting your answer,
I remain with respectful affection,
Ever yours,
HENRY MURRAY.
Mrs. Julia Freeman,
Philadelphia.
_18.--From a Lady to an Inconstant Lover._
Dear Harry:
It is with great reluctance that I enter upon a subject which
has given me great pain, and upon which silence has become
impossible if I would preserve my self-respects. You cannot
but be aware that I have just reason for saying that you have
much displeased me. You have apparently forgotten what is due
to me, circumstanced as we are, thus far at least. You cannot
suppose that I can tamely see you disregard my feelings, by
conduct toward other ladies from which I should naturally
have the right to expect you to abstain. I am not so vulgar a
person as to be jealous. When there is cause to infer changed
feelings, or unfaithfulness to promises of constancy, jealousy
is not the remedy. What the remedy is I need not say--we both
of us have it in our hands. I am sure you will agree with me
that we must come to some understanding by which the future
shall be governed. Neither you nor I can bear a divided
allegiance. Believe me that I write more in sorrow than
in anger. You have made me very unhappy, and perhaps
thoughtlessly. But it will take much to reassure me of your
unaltered regard.
Yours truly,
EMMA.
[Illustration: HEALTHFUL OUTDOOR EXERCISE.]
[Illustration: THE HUMAN FACE, LIKE A FLOWER, SPEAKS FOR ITSELF.]
* * * * *
HINTS AND HELPS ON GOOD BEHAVIOR AT ALL TIMES AND AT ALL PLACES.
1. It takes acquaintance to found a noble esteem, but politeness
prepares the way. Indeed, as ontaigne [Transcriber's note: Montaigne?]
says, Courtesy begets esteem at sight. Urbanity is half of affability,
and affability is a charm worth possessing.
2. A pleasing demeanor is often the scales by which the pagan weighs
the Christian. It is not virtue, but virtue inspires it. There are
circumstances in which it takes a great and strong soul to pass under
the little yoke of courtesy, but it is a passport to a greater soul
standard.
3. Matthew Arnold says, "Conduct is three-fourths of character,"
and Christian benignity draws the line for conduct. A high sense of
rectitude, a lowly soul, with a pure and kind heart are elements
of nobility which will work out in the life of a human being at
home--everywhere. "Private refinement makes public gentility."
4. If you would conciliate the favor of men, rule your resentment.
Remember that if you permit revenge or malice to occupy your soul, you
are ruined.
5. Cultivate a happy temper; banish the blues; a cheerful saguine
spirit begets cheer and hope.
6. Be trustworthy and be trustful.
7. Do not place a light estimate upon the arts of good reading and
good expression; they will yield perpetual interest.
8. Study to keep versed in world events as well as in local
occurrences, but abhor gossip, and above all scandal.
9. Banish a self-conscience spirit--the source of much
awkwardness--with a constant aim to make others happy. Remember that
it is incumbent upon gentlemen and ladies alike to be neat in habits.
10. The following is said to be a correct posture for walking: Head
erect--not too rigid--chin in, shoulders back. Permit no unnecessary
motion about the thighs. Do not lean over to one side in walking,
standing or sitting; the practice is not only ungraceful, but it is
deforming and therefore unhealthful.
11. Beware of affectation and of Beau Brummel airs.
12. If the hands are allowed to swing in walking, the are should be
limited, and the lady will manage them much more gracefully, if they
almost touch the clothing.
13. A lady should not stand with her hands behind her. We could almost
say, forget the hands except to keep them clean, including the nails,
cordial and helpful. One hand may rest easily in the other. Study
repose of attitude here as well as in the rest of the body.
14. Gestures are for emphasis in public speaking; do not point
elsewhere, as a rule.
15. Greet your acquaintances as you meet them with a slight bow and
smile, as you speak.
16. Look the person to whom you speak in the eye. Never under any
circumstances wink at another or communicate by furtive looks.
17. Should you chance to be the rejected suitor of a lady, bear in
mind your own self-respect, as well as the inexorable laws of society,
and bow politely when you meet her. Reflect that you do not stand
before all woman-kind as you do at her bar. Do not resent the
bitterness of flirtation. No lady or gentleman will flirt. Remember
ever that painful prediscovery is better than later disappointment.
Let such experience spur you to higher exertion.
18. Discretion should be exercised in introducing persons. Of two
gentlemen who are introduced, if one is superior in rank or age, he is
the one to whom the introduction should be made. Of two social equals,
if one be a stranger in the place his name should be mentioned first.
19. In general the simpler the introduction the better.
20. Before introducing a gentleman to a lady, remember that she is
entitled to hold you responsible for the acquaintance. The lady is the
one to whom the gentleman is presented, which may be done thus: "Miss
A, permit me to introduce to you my friend, Mr. B."; or, "Miss A.,
allow me to introduce Mr. B." If mutual and near friends of yours, say
simply, "Miss A. Mr. B."
21. Receive the introduction with a slight bow and the acknowledgment,
"Miss A., I am happy to make your acquaintance"; or, "Mr. B., I
am pleased to meet you." There is no reason why such stereotyped
expressions should always be used, but something similar is expected.
Do not extend the hand usually.
22. A true lady will avoid familiarity in her deportment towards
gentlemen. A young lady should not permit her gentlemen friends to
address her by her home name, and the reverse is true. Use the title
Miss and Mr. respectively.
23. Ladies should be frank and cordial towards their lady friends, but
never gushing.
24. Should you meet a friend twice or oftener, at short intervals, it
is polite to bow slightly each time after the first.
25. A lady on meeting a gentleman with whom she has slight
acquaintance will make a medium bow--neither too decided nor too
slight or stiff.
26. For a gentleman to take a young lady's arm, is to intimate that
she is feeble, and young ladies resent the mode.
27. If a young lady desires to visit any public place where she
expects to meet a gentleman acquaintance, she should have a chaperon
to accompany her, a person of mature years When possible, and never a
giddy girl.
28. A lady should not ask a gentleman to walk with her.
[Illustration]
* * * * *
A COMPLETE ETIQUETTE IN A FEW PRACTICAL RULES.
_1. If you desire to be respected, keep clean. The finest attire and
decorations will add nothing to the appearance or beauty of an untidy
person._
_2. Clean clothing, clean skin, clean hands, including the nails, and
clean, white teeth, are a requisite passport for good society._
_3. A bad breath should be carefully remedied, whether it proceeds
from the stomach or from decayed teeth._
_4. To pick the nose, finger about the ears, or scratch the head or
any other part of the person, in company, is decidedly vulgar._
_5. When you call at any private residence, do not neglect to clean
your shoes thoroughly._
_6. A gentleman should always remove his hat in the presence of
ladies, except out of doors, and then he should lift or touch his hat
in salutation. On meeting a lady a well-bred gentleman will always
lift his hat._
_7. An invitation to a lecture, concert, or other entertainment,
may be either verbal or written, but should always be made at least
twenty-four hours before the time._
_8. On entering a hall or church the gentleman should precede the lady
in walking up the aisle, or walk by her side, if the aisle is broad
enough._
_9. A gentleman should always precede a lady upstairs, and follow her
downstairs._
_10. Visitors should always observe the customs of the church with
reference to standing, sitting, or kneeling during the services._
_11. On leaving a hall or church at the close of entertainment or
services, the gentleman should precede the lady._
_12. A gentleman walking with a lady should carry the parcels, and
never allow the lady to be burdened with anything of the kind._
_13. A gentleman meeting a lady on the street and wishing to speak to
her, should never detain her, but may turn around and walk in the same
direction she is going, until the conversation is completed._
_14. If a lady is traveling with a gentleman, simply as a friend, she
should place the amount of her expenses in his hands, or insist on
paying the bills herself._
_15. Never offer a lady costly gifts unless you are engaged to her,
for it looks as if you were trying to purchase her good-will; and when
you make a present to a lady use no ceremony whatever._
_16. Never carry on a private conversation in company. If secrecy is
necessary, withdraw from the company._
_17. Never sit with your back to another without asking to be
excused._
_18. It is as unbecoming for a gentleman to sit with legs crossed as
it is for a lady._
_19. Never thrum with your fingers, rub your hands, yawn or sigh aloud
in company._
_20. Loud laughter, loud talking, or other boisterous manifestations
should be checked in the society of others, especially on the street
and in public places._
_21. When you are asked to sing or play in company, do so without
being urged, or refuse in a way that shall be final; and when music is
being rendered in company, show politeness to the musician by giving
attention. It is very impolite to keep up a conversation. If you do
not enjoy the music keep silent._
_22. Contentions, contradictions, etc. in society should be carefully
avoided._
_23. Pulling out your watch in company, unless asked the time of
day, is a mark of the demi-bred. It looks as if you were tired of the
company and the time dragged heavily._
_24. You should never decline to be introduced to any one or all of
the guests present at a party to which you have been invited._
_25. A gentleman who escorts a lady to a party, or who has a lady
placed under his care, is under particular obligations to attend to
her wants and see that she has proper attention. He should introduce
her to others, and endeavor to make the evening pleasant. He should
escort her to the supper table and provide for her wants._
_26. To take small children or dogs with you on a visit of ceremony is
altogether vulgar, though in visiting familiar friends, children are
not objectionable._
[Illustration: Children should early be taught the lesson of Propriety
and Good Manners.]
[Illustration: AN EGYPTIAN BRIDE'S WEDDING OUTFIT.]
[Illustration]
* * * * *
ETIQUETTE OF CALLS.
In the matter of making calls it is the correct thing:
For the caller who arrived first to leave first.
To return a first call within a week and in person.
To call promptly and in person after a first invitation.
For the mother or chaperon to invite a gentleman to call.
To call within a week after any entertainment to which one has been
invited.
You should call upon an acquaintance who has recently returned from a
prolonged absence.
It as proper to make the first call upon people in a higher social
position, if one is asked to do so.
It is proper to call, after an engagement has been announced, or a
marriage has taken place, in the family.
For the older residents in the city or street to call upon the
newcomers to their neighborhood is a long recognized custom.
It is proper, after a removal from one part of the city to another, to
send out cards with one's new address upon them.
To ascertain what are the prescribed hours for calling in the place
where one is living, or making a visit, and to adhere to those hours
is a duty that must not be overlooked.
A gentleman should ask for the lady of the house as well as the young
ladies, and leave cards for her as well as for the head of the family.
[Illustration: _Improve Your Speech by Reading._]
* * * * *
ETIQUETTE IN YOUR SPEECH.
Don't say Miss or Mister without the person's name.
Don't say pants for trousers.
Don't say gents for gentlemen.
Don't say female for woman.
Don't say elegant to mean everything that pleases you.
Don't say genteel for well-bred.
Don't say ain't for isn't.
Don't say I done it for I did it.
Don't say he is older than me; say older than I.
Don't say she does not see any; say she does not see at all.
Don't say not as I know; say not that I know.
Don't say he calculates to get off; say he expects to get off.
Don't say he don't; say he doesn't.
Don't say she is some better; say she is somewhat better.
Don't say where are you stopping? say where are you staying?
Don't say you was; say you were.
Don't say I say, says I, but simply say I said.
Don't sign your letters yours etc., but yours truly.
Don't say lay for lie; lay expresses action; lie expresses rest.
Don't say them bonnets; say those bonnets.
Don't say party for person.
Don't say it looks beautifully, but say it looks beautiful.
Don't say feller, winder, to-morrer, for fellow, window, to-morrow.
Don't use slangy words; they are vulgar.
Don't use profane words; they are sinful and foolish.
Don't say it was her, when you mean it was she.
Don't say not at once for at once.
Don't say he gave me a recommend, but say he gave me a recommendation.
Don't say the two first for the first two.
Don't say he learnt me French; say he taught me French.
Don't say lit the fire; say lighted the fire.
Don't say the man which you saw; say the man whom you saw.
Don't say who done it; say who did it
Don't say if I was rich I would buy a carriage; say if I were rich.
Don't say if I am not mistaken you are in the wrong; say if I mistake
not.
Don't say who may you be; say who are you?
Don't say go lay down; say go lie down.
Don't say he is taller than me; say taller than I.
Don't say I shall call upon him; say I shall call on him.
Don't say I bought a new pair of shoes; say I bought a pair of new
shoes.
Don't say I had rather not; say I would rather not.
Don't say two spoonsful; say two spoonfuls.
* * * * *
ETIQUETTE OF DRESS AND HABITS.
Don't let one day pass without a thorough cleansing of your person.
Don't sit down to your evening meal before a complete toilet if you
have company.
Don't cleanse your nails, your nose or your ears in public.
Don't use hair dye, hair oil or pomades.
Don't wear evening dress in daytime.
Don't wear jewelry of a gaudy character; genuine jewelry modestly worn
is not out of place.
Don't overdress yourself or walk affectedly.
Don't wear slippers or dressing-gown or smoking-jacket out of your own
house.
Don't sink your hands in your trousers' pockets.
Don't whistle in public places, nor inside of houses either.
Don't use your fingers or fists to beat a tattoo upon floor desk or
window panes.
Don't examine other people's papers or letters scattered on their
desk.
Don't bring a smell of spirits or tobacco into the presence of ladies.
Never use either in the presence of ladies.
Don't drink spirits; millions have tried it to their sorrow.
* * * * *
ETIQUETTE ON THE STREET.
1. Your conduct on the street should always be modest and dignified.
Ladies should carefully avoid all loud and boisterous conversation or
laughter and all undue liveliness in public.
2. When walking on the street do not permit yourself to be
absent-minded, as to fail to recognize a friend; do not go along
reading a book or newspaper.
3. In walking with a lady on the street give her the inner side of
the walk, unless the outside if the safer part; in which case she is
entitled to it.
4. Your arm should not be given to any lady except your wife or a near
relative, or a very old lady, during the day, unless her comfort or
safety requires it. At night the arm should always be offered; also in
ascending the steps of a public building.
5. In crossing the street a lady should gracefully raise her dress
a little above her ankle with one hand. To raise the dress with both
hands is vulgar, except in places where the mud is very deep.
6. A gentleman meeting a lady acquaintance on the street should not
presume to join her in her walk without first asking her permission.
7. If you have anything to say to a lady whom you may happen to meet
in the street, however intimate you may be, do not stop her, but turn
round and walk in company with her; you can take leave at the end of
the street.
8. A lady should not venture out upon the street alone after dark. By
so doing she compromises her dignity, and exposes herself to indignity
at the hands of the rougher class.
9. Never offer to shake hands with a lady in the street if you have on
dark or soiled gloves, as you may soil hers.
10. A lady does not form acquaintances upon the street, or seek to
attract the attention of the other sex or of persons of her own sex.
Her conduct is always modest and unassuming. Neither does a lady
demand services or favors from a gentleman. She accepts them
graciously, always expressing her thanks. A gentleman will not stand
on the street corners, or in hotel doorways, or store windows and
gaze impertinently at ladies as they pass by. This is the exclusive
business of loafers.
11. In walking with a lady who has your arm, should you have to cross
the street, do not disengage your arm and go around upon the outside,
unless the lady's comfort renders it necessary. In walking with a
lady, where it is necessary for you to proceed singly, always go
before her.
* * * * *
ETIQUETTE BETWEEN SEXES.
1. A lady should be a lady, and a gentleman a gentleman under any and
all circumstances.
2. FEMALE INDIFFERENCE TO MAN.--There is nothing that affects
the nature and pleasure of man so much as a proper and friendly
recognition from a lady, and as women are more or less dependent upon
man's good-will, either for gain or pleasure, it surely stands to
their interest to be reasonably pleasant and courteous in his presence
or society. Indifference is always a poor investment, whether in
society or business.
3. GALLANTRY AND LADYISM should be a prominent feature in the
education of young people. Politeness to ladies cultivates the
intellect and refines the soul and he who can be easy and
entertaining in the society of ladies has mastered one of the greatest
accomplishments. There is nothing taught in school, academy or
college, that contributes so much to the happiness of man as a full
development of his social and moral qualities.
4. LADYLIKE ETIQUETTE.--No woman can afford to treat men rudely. A
lady must have a high intellectual and moral ideal and hold herself
above reproach. She must remember that the art of pleasing and
entertaining gentlemen is infinitely more ornamental than laces,
ribbons or diamonds. Dress and glitter may please man, but it will
never benefit him.
5. CULTIVATE DEFICIENCIES.--Men and women poorly sexed treat each
other with more or less indifference, whereas a hearty sexuality
inspires both to a right estimation of the faculties and qualities of
each other. Those who are deficient should seek society and overcome
their deficiencies. While some naturally inherit faculties as
entertainers others are compelled to acquire them by cultivation.
[Illustration: ASKING AN HONEST QUESTION.]
6. LADIES' SOCIETY.--He who seeks ladies' society should seek an
education and should have a pure heart and a pure mind. Read good,
pure and wholesome literature and study human nature, and you will
always be a favorite in the society circle.
7. WOMAN HATERS.--Some men with little refinement and strong sensual
feelings virtually insult and thereby disgust and repel every female
they meet. They look upon woman with an inherent vulgarity, and doubt
the virtue and integrity of all alike. But it is because they are
generally insincere and impure themselves, and with such a nature
culture and refinement are out of the question, there must be a
revolution.
8. MEN HATERS.--Women who look upon all men as odious, corrupt or
hateful, are no doubt so themselves, though they may be clad in
silk and sparkle with diamonds and be as pretty as a lily; but their
hypocrisy will out, and they can never win the heart of a faithful,
conscientious and well balanced man. A good woman has broad ideas and
great sympathy. She respects all men until they are proven unworthy.
9. FOND OF CHILDREN.--The man who is naturally fond of children will
make a good husband and a good father. So it behooves the young man,
to notice children and cultivate the art of pleasing them. It will be
a source of interest, education and permanent benefit to all.
10. EXCESSIVE LUXURY.--Although the association with ladies is an
expensive luxury, yet it is not an expensive education. It elevates,
refines, sanctifies and purifies, and improves the whole man. A young
man who has a pure and genuine respect for ladies, will not only make
a good husband, but a good citizen as well.
11. MASCULINE ATTENTION.--No woman is entitled to any more attention
than her loveliness and ladylike conduct will command. Those who are
most pleasing will receive the most attention, and those who desire
more should aspire to acquire more by cultivating those graces and
virtues which ennoble woman, but no lady should lower or distort her
own true ideal, or smother and crucify her conscience, in order
to please any living man. A good man will admire a good woman, and
deceptions cannot long be concealed. Her show of dry goods or glitter
of jewels cannot long cover up her imperfections or deceptions.
12. PURITY.--Purity of purpose will solve all social problems. Let all
stand on this exalted sexual platform, and teach every man just how
to treat the female sex, and every woman how to behave towards the
masculine; and it will incomparably adorn the manners of both, make
both happy in each other, and mutually develop each other's sexuality
and humanity.
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
* * * * *
PRACTICAL RULES ON TABLE MANNERS.
1. Help ladies with a due appreciation; do not overload the plate of
any person you serve. Never pour gravy on a plate without permission.
It spoils the meat for some persons.
2. Never put anything by force upon any one's plate. It is extremely
ill-bred, though extremely common, to press one to eat of anything.
3. If at dinner you are requested to help any one to sauce or gravy,
do not pour it over the meat or vegetables, but on one side of them.
Never load down a person's plate with anything.
4. As soon as you are helped, begin to eat, or at least begin to
occupy yourself with what you have before you. Do not wait till your
neighbors are served--a custom that was long ago abandoned.
5. Should you, however, find yourself at a table where they have the
old-fashioned steel forks, eat with your knife, as the others do, and
do not let it be seen that you have any objection to doing so.
6. Bread should be broken. To butter a large piece of bread and then
bite it, as children do, is something the knowing never do.
7. In eating game or poultry do not touch the bones with your fingers.
To take a bone in the fingers for the purpose of picking it, is looked
upon as being very inelegant.
8. Never use your own knife or fork to help another. Use rather the
knife or fork of the person you help.
9. Never send your knife or fork, or either of them, on your plate
when you send for second supply.
10. Never turn your elbows out when you use your knife and fork. Keep
them close to your sides.
11. Whenever you use your fingers to convey anything to your mouth or
to remove anything from the mouth, let it be the fingers of the left
hand.
12. Tea, coffee, chocolate and the like are drank from the cup and
never from the saucer.
13. In masticating your food, keep your mouth shut; otherwise you will
make a noise that will be very offensive to those around you.
14. Don't attempt to talk with a full mouth. One thing at a time is as
much as any man can do well.
15. Should you find a worm or insect in your food, say nothing about
it.
16. If a dish is distasteful to you, decline it, and without comment.
17. Never put bones or bits of fruit on the table cloth. Put them on
the side of your plate.
18. Do not hesitate to take the last piece on the dish, simply because
it is the last. To do so is to directly express the fear that you
would exhaust the supply.
19. If you would be what you would like to be--abroad, take care that
you _are_ what you would like to be--at home.
20. Avoid picking your teeth at the table if possible; but if you
must, do it, it you can, where you are not observed.
21. If an accident of any kind soever should occur during dinner, the
cause being who or what it may, you should not seem to note it.
22. Should you be so unfortunate as to overturn or to break anything,
you should make no apology. You might let your regret appear in your
face, but it would not be proper to put it in words.
[Illustration: A PARLOR RECITATION.]
* * * * *
SOCIAL DUTIES.
Man In Society is like a flower,
Blown in its native bed. 'Tis there alone
His faculties expanded in full bloom
Shine out, there only reach their proper use.
--COWPER.
The primal duties shine aloft like stars;
The charities that soothe, and heal, and bless,
Are scatter'd at the feet of man like flowers.
--WORDSWORTH.
1. MEMBERSHIP IN SOCIETY.--Many fail to get hold of the idea that they
are members of society. They seem to suppose that the social machinery
of the world is self-operating. They cast their first ballot with an
emotion of pride perhaps, but are sure to pay their first tax with
a groan. They see political organizations in active existence; the
parish, and the church, and other important bodies that embrace in
some form of society all men, are successfully operated; and yet these
young men have no part or lot in the matter. They do not think of
giving a day's time to society.
2. BEGIN EARLY.--One of the first things a young man should do is to
see that he is acting his part in society. The earlier this is begun
the better. I think that the opponents of secret societies in colleges
have failed to estimate the benefit which it must be to every
member to be obliged to contribute to the support of his particular
organization, and to assume personal care and responsibility as a
member. If these societies have a tendency to teach the lessons of
which I speak, they are a blessed thing.
3. DO YOUR PART.--Do your part, and be a man among men. Assume your
portion of social responsibility, and see that you discharge it well.
If you do not do this, then you are mean, and society has the right
to despise you just as much as it chooses to do so. You are, to use a
word more emphatic than agreeable, a sneak, and have not a claim upon
your neighbors for a single polite word.
4. A WHINING COMPLAINER.--Society, as it is called, is far more apt
to pay its dues to the individual than the individual to society. Have
you, young man, who are at home whining over the fact that you
cannot get into society, done anything to give you a claim to social
recognition? Are you able to make any return for social recognition
and social privileges? Do you know anything? What kind of coin do you
propose to pay in the discharge of the obligation which comes upon you
with social recognition? In other words, as a return for what you wish
to have society do for you, what can you do for society? This is a
very important question--more important to you than to society. The
question is, whether you will be a member of society by right, or
by courtesy. If you have so mean a spirit as to be content to be a
beneficiary of society--to receive favors and to confer none--you have
no business in the society to which you aspire. You are an exacting,
conceited fellow.
5. WHAT ARE YOU GOOD FOR?--Are you a good beau, and are you willing to
make yourself useful in waiting on the ladies on all occasions? Have
you a good set of teeth, which you are willing to show whenever
the wit of the company gets off a good thing? Are you a true,
straightforward, manly fellow, with whose healthful and uncorrupted
nature it is good for society to come in contact? In short, do you
possess anything of any social value? If you do, and are willing
to impart it, society will yield itself to your touch. If you
have nothing, then society, as such, owes you nothing. Christian
philanthropy may put its arm around you, as a lonely young man, about
to spoil for want of something, but it is very sad and humiliating
for a young man to be brought to that. There are people who devote
themselves to nursing young men, and doing them good. If they invite
you to tea, go by all means, and try your hand. If in the course of
the evening, you can prove to them that your society is desirable, you
have won a point. Don't be patronized.
6. THE MORBID CONDITION.--Young men, you are apt to get into a morbid
state of mind, which declines them to social intercourse. They
become devoted to business with such exclusiveness, that all social
intercourse is irksome. They go out to tea as if they were going
to jail, and drag themselves to a party as to an execution. This
disposition is thoroughly morbid, and to be overcome by going where
you are invited, always, and with a sacrifice of feeling.
7. THE COMMON BLUNDER.--Don't shrink from contact with anything but
bad morals. Men who affect your unhealthy minds with antipathy, will
prove themselves very frequently to be your best friends and most
delightful companions. Because a man seems uncongenial to you, who
are squeamish and foolish, you have no right to shun him. We become
charitable by knowing men. We learn to love those whom we have
despised by rubbing against them. Do you not remember some instance of
meeting a man or woman whom you had never previously known or cared
to know--an individual, perhaps, against whom you have entertained
the strongest prejudices--but to whom you became bound by a lifelong
friendship through the influence of a three days' intercourse? Yet,
if you had not thus met, you would have carried through life the idea
that it would be impossible for you to give your fellowship to such an
individual.
8. THE FOOLISHNESS OF MAN.--God has introduced into human character
infinite variety, and for you to say that you do not love and will not
associate with a man because he is unlike you, is not only foolish but
wrong. You are to remember that in the precise manner and decree in
which a man differs from you, do you differ from him; and that from
his standpoint you are naturally as repulsive to him, as he, from
your standpoint, is to you. So, leave all this talk of congeniality to
silly girls and transcendental dreamers.
9. DO BUSINESS IN YOUR WAY AND BE HONEST.--Do your business in your
own way, and concede to every man the privilege which you claim for
yourself. The more you mix with men, the less you will be disposed to
quarrel, and the more charitable and liberal will you become. The fact
that you do not understand a man, is quite as likely to be your fault
as his. There are a good many chances in favor of the conclusion that,
if you fail to like an individual whose acquaintance you make it is
through your own ignorance and illiberality. So I say, meet every man
honestly; seek to know him; and you will find that in those points
in which he differs from you rests his power to instruct you, enlarge
you, and do you good. Keep your heart open for everybody, and be sure
that you shall have your reward. You shall find a jewel under the most
uncouth exterior; and associated with homeliest manners and oddest
ways and ugliest faces, you will find rare virtues, fragrant little
humanities, and inspiring heroisms.
10. WITHOUT SOCIETY, WITHOUT INFLUENCE.--Again: you can have no
influence unless you are social. An unsocial man is as devoid of
influence as an ice-peak is of verdure. It is through social contact
and absolute social value alone that you can accomplish any great
social good. It is through the invisible lines which you are able to
attach to the minds with which you are brought into association alone
that you can tow society, with its deeply freighted interests, to the
great haven of your hope.
11. THE REVENGE OF SOCIETY.--The revenge which society takes upon
the man who isolates himself, is as terrible as it is inevitable. The
pride which sits alone will have the privilege of sitting alone in its
sublime disgust till it drops into the grave. The world sweeps by the
man, carelessly, remorselessly, contemptuously. He has no hold upon
society, because he is no part of it.
12. THE CONCLUSION OF THE WHOLE MATTER.--You cannot move men until you
are one of them. They will not follow you until they have heard your
voice, shaken your hand, and fully learned your principles and your
sympathies. It makes no difference how much you know, or how much you
are capable of doing. You may pile accomplishment upon acquisition
mountain high; but if you fail to be a social man, demonstrating to
society that your lot is with the rest, a little child with a song in
its mouth, and a kiss for all and a pair of innocent hands to lay upon
the knees, shall lead more hearts and change the direction of more
lives than you.
[Illustration: GATHERING ORANGES IN THE SUNNY SOUTH.]
* * * * *
POLITENESS.
1. BEAUTIFUL BEHAVIOR.--Politeness has been described as the art of
showing, by external signs, the internal regard we have for others.
But one may be perfectly polite to another without necessarily paying
a special regard for him. Good manners are neither more nor less than
beautiful behavior. It has been well said that "a beautiful form is
better than a beautiful face, and a beautiful behavior is better
than a beautiful form; it gives a higher pleasure than statues or
pictures--it is the finest of the fine arts."
2. TRUE POLITENESS.--The truest politeness comes of sincerity. It must
be the outcome of the heart, or it will make no lasting impression;
for no amount of polish can dispense with truthfulness. The natural
character must be allowed to appear, freed of its angularities and
asperities. Though politeness, in its best form, should resemble
water--"best when clearest, most simple, and without taste"--yet
genius in a man will always cover many defects of manner, and much
will be excused to the strong and the original. Without genuineness
and individuality, human life would lose much of its interest and
variety, as well as its manliness and robustness of character.
3. PERSONALITY OF OTHERS.--True politeness especially exhibits itself
in regard for the personality of others. A man will respect the
individuality of another if he wishes to be respected himself. He will
have due regard for his views and opinions, even though they differ
from his own. The well-mannered man pays a compliment to another, and
sometimes even secures his respect by patiently listening to him. He
is simply tolerant and forbearant, and refrains from judging harshly;
and harsh judgments of others will almost invariably provoke harsh
judgments of ourselves.
4. THE IMPOLITE.--The impolite, impulsive man will, however, sometimes
rather lose his friend than his joke. He may surely be pronounced
a very foolish person who secures another's hatred at the price
of a moment's gratification. It was a saying of Burnel, the
engineer--himself one of the kindest-natured of men--that "spite and
ill-nature are among the most expensive luxuries in life." Dr. Johnson
once said: "Sir, a man has no more right to say a rude thing to
another than to knock him down."
5. FEELINGS OF OTHERS.--Want of respect for the feelings of others
usually originates in selfishness, and issues in hardness and
repulsiveness of manner. It may not proceed from malignity so much, as
from want of sympathy, and want of delicacy--a want of that perception
of, and attention to, those little and apparently trifling things, by
which pleasure is given or pain occasioned to others. Indeed, it may
be said that in self-sacrifice in the ordinary intercourse of life,
mainly consists the difference between being well and ill bred.
Without some degree of self-restraint in society a man may be found
almost insufferable. No one has pleasure in holding intercourse with
such a person, and he is a constant source of annoyance to those about
him.
6. DISREGARD OF OTHERS.--Men may show their disregard to others in
various impolite ways, as, for instance, by neglect of propriety in
dress, by the absence of cleanliness, or by indulging in repulsive
habits. The slovenly, dirty person, by rendering himself physically
disagreeable, sets the tastes and feelings of others at defiance, and
is rude and uncivil, only under another form.
7. THE BEST SCHOOL OF POLITENESS.--The first and best school of
politeness, as of character, is always the home, where woman is the
teacher. The manners of society at large are but the reflex of the
manners of our collective homes, neither better nor worse. Yet, with
all the disadvantages of ungenial homes, men may practice self-culture
of manner as of intellect, and learn by good examples to cultivate a
graceful and agreeable behavior towards others. Most men are like so
many gems in the rough, which need polishing by contact with other and
better natures, to bring out their full beauty and lustre. Some have
but one side polished, sufficient only to show the delicate graining
of the interior; but to bring out the full qualities of the gem, needs
the discipline of experience, and contact with the best examples of
character in the intercourse of daily life.
8. CAPTIOUSNESS OF MANNER.--While captiousness of manner, and the
habit of disputing and contradicting every thing said, is chilling and
repulsive, the opposite habit of assenting to, and sympathizing
with, every statement made, or emotion expressed, is almost equally
disagreeable. It is unmanly, and is felt to be dishonest. "It may seem
difficult," says Richard Sharp, "to steer always between bluntness and
plain dealing, between merited praises and lavishing indiscriminate
flattery; but it is very easy--good humor, kindheartedness, and
perfect simplicity, being all that are requisite to do what is right
in the right way. At the same time many are impolite, not because
they mean to be so, but because they are awkward, and perhaps know no
better."
9. SHY PEOPLE.--Again many persons are thought to be stiff, reserved,
and proud, when they are only shy. Shyness is characteristic of
most people of the Teutonic race. From all that can be learned of
Shakespeare, it is to be inferred that he was an exceedingly shy man.
The manner in which his plays were sent into the world--for it is not
known that he edited or authorized the publication of a single one
of them,--and the dates at which they respectively appeared, are mere
matters of conjecture.
10. SELF-FORGETFULNESS.--True politeness is best evinced by
self-forgetfulness, or self-denial in the interest of others. Mr.
Garfield, our martyred president, was a gentleman of royal type. His
friend, Col. Rockwell, says of him: "In, the midst of his suffering he
never forgets others. For instance, to-day he said to me, 'Rockwell,
there is a poor soldier's widow who came to me before this thing
occurred, and I promised her, she should be provided for. I want you
to see that the matter is attended to at once.' He is the most docile
patient I ever saw."
11. ITS BRIGHT SIDE.--We have thus far spoken of shyness as a defect.
But there is another way of looking at it; for even shyness has its
bright side, and contains an element of good. Shy men and shy races
are ungraceful and undemonstrative, because, as regards society at
large, they are comparatively unsociable. They do not possess those
elegancies of manner acquired by free intercourse, which distinguish
the social races, because their tendency is to shun society rather
than to seek it. They are shy in the presence of strangers, and shy
even in their own families. They hide their affections under a robe
of reserve, and when they do give way to their feelings, it is only in
some very hidden inner chamber. And yet, the feelings are there, and
not the less healthy and genuine, though they are not made the subject
of exhibition to others.
12. WORTHY OF CULTIVATION.--While, therefore, grace of manner,
politeness of behavior, elegance of demeanor, and all the arts
that contribute to make life pleasant and beautiful, are worthy of
cultivation, it must not be at the expense of the more solid and
enduring qualities of honesty, sincerity, and truthfulness. The
fountain of beauty must be in the heart more than in the eye, and if
it does not tend to produce beautiful life and noble practice, it will
prove of comparatively little avail. Politeness of manner is not worth
much, unless it is accompanied by polite actions.
* * * * *
INFLUENCE OF GOOD CHARACTER.
"Unless above himself he can
Erect himself, how poor a thing is man!
--DANIEL.
"Character is moral order seen through the medium of an individual
nature--Men of character are the conscience of the society to
which they belong."
--EMERSON.
The purest treasure mortal times afford,
Is--spotless reputation; that away,
Men are but gilded loam, or painted clay,
A jewel in a ten-times-barr'd-up chest
Is--a bold Spirit in a loyal breast.
--SHAKESPEARE.
1. REPUTATION.--The two most precious things this side the grave are
our reputation and our life. But it is to be lamented that the most
contemptible whisper may deprive us of the one, and the weakest weapon
of the other. A wise man, therefore, will be more anxious to deserve
a fair name than to possess it, and this will teach him so to live, as
not to be afraid to die.
2. CHARACTER.--Character is one of the greatest motive powers in the
world. In its noblest embodiments, it exemplifies human nature in its
highest forms, for it exhibits man at his best.
3. THE HEART THAT RULES IN LIFE.--Although genius always commands
admiration, character most secures respect. The former is more the
product of brain power, the latter of heart power; and in the long run
it is the heart that rules in life. Men of genius stand to society in
the relation of its intellect as men of character of its conscience:
and while the former are admired, the latter are followed.
4. THE HIGHEST IDEAL OF LIFE AND CHARACTER.--Common-place though it
may appear, this doing of one's duty embodies the highest ideal of
life and character. There may be nothing heroic about it; but the
common lot of men is not heroic. And though the abiding sense of duty
upholds man in his highest attitudes, it also equally sustains him in
the transaction of the ordinary affairs of every-day existence.
Man's life is "centered in the sphere of common duties." The most
influential of all the virtues are those which are the most in request
for daily use. They wear the best, and last the longest.
5. WEALTH.--Wealth in the hands of men of weak purpose, or deficient
self-control, or of ill regulated passions is only a temptation and a
snare--the source, it may be, of infinite mischief to themselves, and
often to others.
On the contrary, a condition of comparative poverty is compatible with
character in its highest form. A man may possess only his industry,
his frugality, his integrity, and yet stand high in the rank of true
manhood. The advice which Burns' father gave him was the best:
"He bade me act a manly part, though I had ne'er a farthing,
For without an honest, manly heart no man was worth regarding."
6. CHARACTER IS PROPERTY.--It is the noblest of possessions. It is an
estate in the general good-will and respect of men; they who invest in
it--though they may not become rich in this world's goods--will find
their reward in esteem and reputation fairly and honorably won. And
it is right that in life good qualities should tell--that industry,
virtue, and goodness should rank the highest--and that the really best
men should be foremost.
7. SIMPLE HONESTY OF PURPOSE.--This in a man goes a long way in life,
if founded on a just estimate of himself and a steady obedience to the
rule he knows and feels to be right. It holds a man straight, gives
him strength and sustenance, and forms a mainspring of vigorous
action. No man is bound to be rich or great--no, nor to be wise--but
every man is bound to be honest and virtuous.
[Illustration]
[Illustration: HOME AMUSEMENTS.]
* * * * *
FAMILY GOVERNMENT.
1. GENTLENESS MUST CHARACTERIZE EVERY ACT OF AUTHORITY.--The storm of
excitement that may make the child start, bears no relation to actual
obedience. The inner firmness, that sees and feels a moral conviction
and expects obedience, is only disguised and defeated by bluster. The
more calm and direct it is, the greater certainty it has of dominion.
2. FOR THE GOVERNMENT OF SMALL CHILDREN.--For the government of small
children speak only in the authority of love, yet authority, loving
and to be obeyed. The most important lesson to impart is obedience to
authority as authority. The question of salvation with most children
will be settled as soon as they learn to obey parental authority. It
establishes a habit and order of mind that is ready to accept divine
authority. This precludes skepticism and disobedience, and induces
that childlike trust and spirit set forth as a necessary state of
salvation. Children that are never made to obey are left to drift
into the sea of passion where the pressure for surrender only tends to
drive them at greater speed from the haven of safety.
3. HABITS OF SELF-DENIAL.--Form in the child habits of self-denial.
Pampering never matures good character.
4. EMPHASIZE INTEGRITY.--Keep the moral tissues tough in integrity;
then it will hold a hook of obligations when once set in a sure place.
There is nothing more vital. Shape all your experiments to preserve
the integrity. Do not so reward it that it becomes mercenary. Turning
State's evidence is a dangerous experiment in morals. Prevent deceit
from succeeding.
5. GUARD MODESTY.--To be brazen is to imperil some of the best
elements of character. Modesty may be strengthened into a becoming
confidence, but brazen facedness can seldom be toned down into
decency. It requires the miracle of grace.
6. PROTECT PURITY.--Teach your children to loathe impurity. Study
the character of their playmates. Watch their books. Keep them from
corruption at all cost. The groups of youth in the school and in
society, and in business places, seed with improprieties of word and
thought. Never relax your vigilance along this exposed border.
[Illustration: BOTH PUZZLED.]
7. THREATEN THE LEAST POSSIBLE.--In family government threaten the
least possible. Some parents rattle off their commands with penalties
so profusely that there is a steady roar of hostilities about the
child's head. These threats are forgotten by the parent and unheeded
by the child. All government is at an end.
8. DO NOT ENFORCE TOO MANY COMMANDS.--Leave a few things within the
range of the child's knowledge that are not forbidden. Keep your word
good, but do not have too much of it out to be redeemed.
9. PUNISH AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE.--Sometimes punishment is necessary,
but the less it is resorted to the better.
10. NEVER PUNISH IN A PASSION.--Wrath only becomes cruelty. There is
no moral power in it. When you seem to be angry you can do no good.
11. BRUTISH VIOLENCE ONLY MULTIPLIES OFFENDERS.--Striking and beating
the body seldom reaches the soul. Fear and hatred beget rebellion.
12. PUNISH PRIVATELY.--Avoid punishments that break down self-respect.
Striking the body produces shame and indignation. It is enough for the
other children to know that discipline is being administered.
13. NEVER STOP SHORT OF SUCCESS.--When the child is not conquered the
punishment has been worse than wasted. Reach the point where neither
wrath nor sullenness remain. By firm persistency and persuasion
require an open look of recognition and peace. It is only evil to stir
up the devil unless he is cast out. Ordinarily one complete victory
will last a child for a lifetime. But if the child relapses, repeat
the dose with proper accompaniments.
14. DO NOT REQUIRE CHILDREN TO COMPLAIN OF THEMSELVES FOR PARDON.--It
begets either sycophants or liars. It is the part of the government to
detect offences. It reverses the order of matters to shirk this duty.
15. GRADE AUTHORITY UP TO LIBERTY.--The growing child must have
experiments of freedom. Lead him gently into the family. Counsel
with him. Let him plan as he can. By and by he has the confidence of
courage without the danger of exposures.
16. RESPECT.--Parents must respect each other. Undermining either
undermines both. Always govern in the spirit of love.
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
* * * * *
CONVERSATION.
Some men are very entertaining for a first interview, but after that
they are exhausted, and run out; on a second meeting we shall find
them very flat and monotonous; like hand-organs, we have heard all
their tunes.--COULTON.
He who sedulously attends, pointedly asks, calmly speaks, coolly
answers, and ceases when he has no more to say, is in possession of
some of the best requisites of man.--LAVATER.
Beauty is never so lovely as when adorned with the smile, and
conversation never sits easier upon us than when we know and
then discharge ourselves in a symphony of Laughter, which may not
improperly be called the Chorus of Conversation.--STEELE.
The first ingredient in Conversation is Truth, the next Good Sense,
the third Good Humor, and the fourth Wit.--SIR WILLIAM TEMPLE.
HOME LESSONS IN CONVERSATION.
Say nothing unpleasant when it can be avoided.
Avoid satire and sarcasm.
Never repeat a word that was not intended for repetition.
Cultivate the supreme wisdom, which consists less in saying what ought
to be said than in not saying what ought not to be said.
Often cultivate "flashes of silence."
It is the larger half of the conversation to listen well.
Listen to others patiently, especially the poor.
Sharp sayings are an evidence of low breeding.
Shun faultfindings and faultfinders.
Never utter an uncomplimentary word against anyone.
Compliments delicately hinted and sincerely intended are a grace in
conversation.
Commendation of gifts and cleverness properly put are in good taste,
but praise of beauty is offensive.
Repeating kind expressions is proper.
Compliments given in a joke may be gratefully received in earnest.
The manner and tone are important parts of a compliment.
Avoid egotism.
Don't talk of yourself, or of your friends or your deeds.
Give no sign that you appreciate your own merits.
Do not become a distributer of the small talk of a community. The
smiles of your auditors do not mean respect.
Avoid giving the impression of one filled with "suppressed egotism."
Never mention your own peculiarities; for culture destroys vanity.
Avoid exaggeration.
Do not be too positive.
Do not talk of display oratory.
Do not try to lead in conversation looking around to enforce silence.
Lay aside affected, silly etiquette for the natural dictates of the
heart.
Direct the conversation where others can join with you and impart to
you useful information.
Avoid oddity. Eccentricity is shallow vanity.
Be modest.
Be what you wish to seem.
Avoid repeating a brilliant or clever saying.
[Illustration: THINKING ONLY OF DRESS.]
If you find bashfulness or embarrassment coming upon you, do or say
something at once. The commonest matter gently stated is better than
an embarrassing silence. Sometimes changing your position, or looking
into a book for a moment may relieve your embarrassment, and dispel
any settling stiffness.
Avoid telling many stories, or repeating a story more than once in the
same company.
Never treat any one as if you simply wanted him to tell stories.
People laugh and despise such a one.
Never tell a coarse story. No wit or preface can make it excusable.
Tell a story, if at all, only as an illustration, and not for itself.
Tell it accurately.
Be careful in asking questions for the purpose of starting
conversation or drawing out a person, not to be rude or intrusive.
Never take liberties by staring, or by any rudeness.
Never infringe upon any established regulations among strangers.
Do not always prove yourself to be the one in the right. The right
will appear. You need only give it a chance.
Avoid argument in conversation. It is discourteous to your host.
Cultivate paradoxes in conversation with your peers. They add interest
to common-place matters. To strike the harmless faith of ordinary
people in any public idol is waste, but such a movement with those
able to reply is better.
Never discourse upon your ailments.
Never use words of the meaning or pronunciation of which you are
uncertain.
Avoid discussing your own or other people's domestic concerns.
Never prompt a slow speaker, as if you had all the ability. In
conversing with a foreigner who may be learning our language, it is
excusable to help him in some delicate way.
Never give advice unasked.
Do not manifest impatience.
Do not interrupt another when speaking.
Do not find fault, though you may gently criticise.
Do not appear to notice inaccuracies of speech in others.
Do not always commence a conversation by allusion to the weather.
Do not, when narrating an incident, continually say, "you see," "you
know."
Do not allow yourself to lose temper or speak excitedly.
Do not introduce professional or other topics that the company
generally cannot take an interest in.
Do not talk very loud. A firm, clear, distinct, yet mild, gentle, and
musical voice has great power.
Do not be absent-minded, requiring the speaker to repeat what has been
said that you may understand.
Do not try to force yourself into the confidence of others.
Do not use profanity, vulgar terms, words of double meaning, or
language that will bring the blush to anyone.
Do not allow yourself to speak ill of the absent one if it can be
avoided. The day may come when some friend will be needed to defend
you in your absence.
Do not speak with contempt and ridicule of a locality which you may be
visiting. Find something to truthfully praise and commend; thus make
yourself agreeable.
Do not make a pretense of gentility, nor parade the fact that you are
a descendant of any notable family. You must pass for just what you
are, and must stand on your own merit.
Do not contradict. In making a correction say, "I beg your pardon,
but I had the impression that it was so and so." Be careful in
contradicting, as you may be wrong yourself.
Do not be unduly familiar; you will merit contempt if you are. Neither
should you be dogmatic in your assertions, arrogating to yourself such
consequences in your opinions.
Do not be too lavish in your praise of various members of your own
family when speaking to strangers; the person to whom you are speaking
may know some faults that you do not.
Do not feel it incumbent upon yourself to carry your point in
conversation. Should the person with whom you are conversing feel the
same, your talk may lead into violent argument.
Do not try to pry into the private affairs of others by asking what
their profits are, what things cost, whether Melissa ever had a beau,
and why Amarette never got married? All such questions are extremely
impertinent and are likely to meet with rebuke.
Do not whisper in company; do not engage in private conversation; do
not speak a foreign language which the general company present may not
understand, unless it is understood that the foreigner is unable to
speak your own language.
[Illustration: WIDOWER JONES AND WIDOW SMITH.]
* * * * *
THE TOILET.
OR
The Care of the Person.
IMPORTANT RULES.
1. GOOD APPEARANCE.--The first care of all persons should be for
their personal appearance. Those who are slovenly or careless in their
habits are unfit for refined society, and cannot possibly make a good
appearance in it. A well-bred person will always cultivate habits
of the most scrupulous neatness. A gentleman or lady is always well
dressed. The garment may be plain or of coarse material, or even worn
"thin and shiny," but if it is carefully brushed and neat, it can be
worn with dignity.
2. PERSONAL CLEANLINESS.--Personal appearance depends greatly on the
careful toilet and scrupulous attention to dress. The first point
which marks the gentleman or lady in appearance is rigid cleanliness.
This remark supplies to the body and everything which covers it. A
clean skin--only to be secured by frequent baths--is indispensable.
3. THE TEETH.--The teeth should receive the utmost attention. Many
a young man has been disgusted with a lady by seeing her unclean and
discolored teeth. It takes but a few moments, and if necessary secure
some simple tooth powder or rub the teeth thoroughly every day with a
linen handkerchief, and it will give the teeth and mouth a beautiful
and clean appearance.
4. THE HAIR AND BEARD.--The hair should be thoroughly brushed and well
kept, and the beard of men properly trimmed. Men should not let their
hair grow long and shaggy.
5. UNDERCLOTHING.--The matter of cleanliness extends to all articles
of clothing, underwear as well as the outer clothing. Cleanliness is
a mark of true utility. The clothes need not necessarily be of a rich
and expensive quality, but they can all be kept clean. Some persons
have an odor about them that is very offensive, simply on account of
their underclothing being worn too long without washing. This odor of
course cannot be detected by the person who wears the soiled garments,
but other persons easily detect it and are offended by it.
6. THE BATH.--No person should think for a moment that they can be
popular in society without regular bathing. A bath should be taken
at least once a week, and if the feet perspire they should be washed
several times a week, as the case may require. It is not unfrequent
that young men are seen with dirty ears and neck. This is unpardonable
and boorish, and shows gross neglect. Occasionally a young lady will
be called upon unexpectedly when her neck and smiling face are
not emblems of cleanliness. Every lady owes it to herself to be
fascinating; every gentleman is bound, for his own sake, to be
presentable; but beyond this there is the obligation to society, to
one's friends, and to those with whom we may be brought in contact.
7. SOILED GARMENTS.--A young man's garments may not be expensive, yet
there is no excuse for wearing a soiled collar and a soiled shirt, or
carrying a soiled handkerchief. No one should appear as though he
had slept in a stable, shaggy hair, soiled clothing or garments
indifferently put on and carelessly buttoned. A young man's vest
should always be kept buttoned in the presence of ladies. 8. THE
BREATH.--Care should be taken to remedy an offensive breath without
delay. Nothing renders one so unpleasant to one's acquaintance, or
is such a source of misery to one's self. The evil may be from some
derangement of the stomach or some defective condition of the teeth,
or catarrhal affection of the throat and nose. See remedies in other
portions of the book.
* * * * *
A YOUNG MAN'S PERSONAL APPEARANCE.
Dress changes the manners.--VOLTAIRE.
Whose garments wither, shall receive faded smiles.--SHERIDAN KNOWLES.
Men of sense follow fashion so far that they are neither conspicuous
for their excess nor peculiar by their opposition to it.--ANONYMOUS.
1. A well-dressed man does not require so much an extensive as a
varied wardrobe. He does not need a different suit for every season
and every occasion, but if he is careful to select clothes that are
simple and not striking or conspicuous, he may use the garment over
and over again without their being noticed, provided they are suitable
to the season and the occasion.
2. A clean shirt, collar and cuffs always make a young man look neat
and tidy, even if his clothes are not of the latest pattern and are
somewhat threadbare.
3. Propriety is outraged when a man of sixty dresses like a youth
or sixteen. It is bad manners for a gentleman to use perfumes to a
noticeable extent. Avoid affecting singularity in dress. Expensive
clothes are no sign of a gentleman.
4. When dressed for company, strive to appear easy and natural.
Nothing is more distressing to a sensitive person, or more ridiculous
to one gifted with refinement, than to see a lady laboring under the
consciousness of a fine gown or a gentleman who is stiff, awkward and
ungainly in a brand-new coat.
5. Avoid what is called the "ruffianly style of dress" or the slouchy
appearance of a half-unbottoned vest, and suspenderless pantaloons.
That sort of affectation is, if possible, even more disgusting than
the painfully elaborate frippery of the dandy or dude. Keep your
clothes well brushed and keep them cleaned. Slight spots can be
removed with a little sponge and soap and water.
6. A gentleman should never wear a high hat unless he has on a frock
coat or a dress suit.
7. A man's jewelry should be good and simple. Brass or false
jewelry, like other forms of falsehood, is vulgar. Wearing many cheap
decorations is a serious fault.
[Illustration: THE DUDE OF THE 17TH CENTURY.]
8. If a man wears a ring it should be on the third finger of the left
hand. This is the only piece of jewelry a man is allowed to wear that
does not serve a purpose.
9. Wearing imitations of diamonds is always in very bad taste.
10. Every man looks better in a full beard if he keeps it well
trimmed. If a man shaves he should shave at least every other day,
unless he is in the country.
11. The finger-nails should be kept cut, and the teeth should be
cleaned every morning, and kept clear from tarter. A man who does
not keep his teeth clean does not look like a gentleman when he shows
them.
[Illustration]
* * * * *
DRESS.
We sacrifice to dress, till household joys
And comforts cease. Dress drains our cellar dry,
And keeps our larder lean. Puts out our fires,
And introduces hunger, frost and woe,
Where peace and hospitality might reign.
--COWPER
1. GOD IS A LOVER OF DRESS.--We cannot but feel that God is a lover
of dress. He has put on robes of beauty and glory upon all his works.
Every flower is dressed in richness; every field blushes beneath a
mantle of beauty; every star is veiled in brightness; every bird is
clothed in the habiliments of the most exquisite taste. The cattle
upon the thousand hills are dressed by the hand divine. Who, studying
God in his works, can doubt, that he will smile upon the evidence of
correct taste manifested by his children in clothing the forms he has
made them?
2. LOVE OF DRESS.--To love dress is not to be a slave of fashion; to
love dress only is the test of such homage. To transact the business
of charity in a silken dress, and to go in a carriage to the work,
injures neither the work nor the worker. The slave of fashion is one
who assumes the livery of a princess, and then omits the errand of the
good human soul; dresses in elegance, and goes upon no good errand,
and thinks and does nothing of value to mankind.
3. BEAUTY IN DRESS.--Beauty in dress is a good thing, rail at it who
may. But it is a lower beauty, for which a higher beauty should not
be sacrificed. They love dresses too much who give it their first
thought, their best time, or all their money; who for it neglect
the culture of their mind or heart, or the claims of others on their
service; who care more for their dress than their disposition; who are
troubled more by an unfashionable bonnet than a neglected duty.
4. SIMPLICITY OF DRESS.--Female lovliness never appears to so good
advantage as when set off by simplicity of dress. No artist ever decks
his angels with towering feathers and gaudy jewelry; and our dear
human angels--if they would make good their title to that name--should
carefully avoid ornaments, which properly belong to Indian squaws and
African princesses. These tinselries may serve to give effect on the
stage, or upon the ball room floor, but in daily life there is no
substitute for the charm of simplicity. A vulgar taste is not to
be disguised by gold or diamonds. The absence of a true taste and
refinement of delicacy cannot be compensated for by the possession of
the most princely fortune. Mind measures gold, but gold cannot measure
mind. Through dress the mind may be read, as through the delicate
tissue the lettered page. A modest woman will dress modestly; a really
refined and intelligent woman will bear the marks of careful selection
and faultless taste.
5. PEOPLE OF SENSE.--A coat that has the mark of use upon it, is a
recommendation to the people of sense, and a hat with too much nap,
and too high lustre, a derogatory circumstance. The best coats in
our streets are worn on the backs of penniless fops, broken down
merchants, clerks with pitiful salaries, and men that do not pay
up. The heaviest gold chains dangle from the fobs of gamblers and
gentlemen of very limited means; costly ornaments on ladies, indicate
to the eyes that are well opened, the fact of a silly lover or husband
cramped for funds.
6. PLAIN AND NEAT.--When a pretty woman goes by in plain and neat
apparel, it is the presumption that she has fair expectations, and
a husband that can show a balance in his favor. For women are like
books,--too much gilding makes men suspicious, that the binding is the
most important part. The body is the shell of the soul, and the dress
is the husk of the body; but the husk generally tells what the kernel
is. As a fashionably dressed young lady passed some gentlemen, one of
them raised his hat, whereupon another, struck by the fine appearance
of the lady, made some inquiries concerning her, and was answered
thus: "She makes a pretty ornament in her father's house, but
otherwise is of no use."
7. THE RICHEST DRESS.--The richest dress is always worn on the soul.
The adornments that will not perish, and that all men most admire,
shine from the heart through this life. God has made it our highest,
holiest duty, to dress the souls he has given us. It is wicked to
waste it in frivolity. It is a beautiful, undying, precious thing. If
every young woman would think of her soul when she looks in the
glass, would hear the cry of her naked mind when she dallies away her
precious hours at her toilet, would listen to the sad moaning of her
hollow heart, as it wails through her idle, useless life, something
would be done for the elevation of womanhood.
8. DRESSING UP.--Compare a well-dressed body with a well-dressed mind.
Compare a taste for dress with a taste for knowledge, culture,
virtue, and piety. Dress up an ignorant young woman in the "height of
fashion"; put on plumes and flowers, diamonds and gewgaws; paint her
face, girt up her waist, and I ask you, if this side of a painted and
feathered savage you can find anything more unpleasant to behold. And
yet such young women we meet by the hundred every day on the street
and in all our public places. It is awful to think of.
9. DRESS AFFECTS OUR MANNERS.--A man who is badly dressed, feels
chilly, sweaty, and prickly. He stammers, and does not always tell the
truth. He means to, perhaps, but he can't. He is half distracted about
his pantaloons, which are much to short, and are constantly hitching
up; or his frayed jacket and crumpled linen harrow his soul, and quite
unman him. He treads on the train of a lady's dress, and says, "Thank
you", sits down on his hat, and wishes the "desert were his dwelling
place."
[Illustration]
* * * * *
BEAUTY.
"She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies:
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet her in aspect and in her eyes;
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies."
--BYRON.
1. THE HIGHEST STYLE OF BEAUTY.--The highest style of beauty to be
found in nature pertains to the human form, as animated and lighted
up by the intelligence within. It is the expression of the soul that
constitutes this superior beauty. It is that which looks out of the
eye, which sits in calm majesty on the brow, lurks on the lip, smiles
on the cheek, is set forth in the chiselled lines and features of
the countenance, in the general contour of figure and form, in
the movement, and gesture, and tone; it is this looking out of the
invisible spirit that dwells within, this manifestation of the higher
nature, that we admire and love; this constitutes to us the beauty of
our species.
2. BEAUTY WHICH PERISHES NOT.--There is a beauty which perishes not.
It is such as the angels wear. It forms the washed white robes of the
saints. It wreathes the countenance of every doer of good. It adorns
every honest face. It shines in the virtuous life. It molds the hands
of charity. It sweetens the voice of sympathy. It sparkles on the brow
of wisdom. It flashes in the eye of love. It breathes in the spirit of
piety. It is the beauty of the heaven of heavens. It is that which may
grow by the hand of culture in every human soul. It is the flower of
the spirit which blossoms on the tree of life. Every soul may plant
and nurture it in its own garden, in its own Eden.
3. WE MAY ALL BE BEAUTIFUL.--This is the capacity of beauty that God
has given to the human soul, and this the beauty placed within
the reach of all. We may all be beautiful. Though our forms may
be uncomely and our features not the prettiest, our spirits may be
beautiful. And this inward beauty always shines through. A beautiful
heart will flash out in the eye. A lovely soul will glow in the face.
A sweet spirit will tune the voice, wreathe the countenance in charms.
Oh, there is a power in interior beauty that melts the hardest heart!
4. WOMAN THE MOST PERFECT TYPE OF BEAUTY.--Woman, by common consent,
we regard as the most perfect type of beauty on earth. To her we
ascribe the highest charms belonging to this wonderful element so
profusely mingled in all God's works. Her form is molded and finished
in exquisite delicacy of perfection. The earth gives us no form
more perfect, no features more symmetrical, no style more chaste, no
movements more graceful, no finish more complete; so that our artists
ever have and ever will regard the woman-form of humanity as the
most perfect earthly type of beauty. This form is most perfect and
symmetrical in the youth of womanhood; so that the youthful woman is
earth's queen of beauty. This is true, not only by the common consent
of mankind, but also by the strictest rules of scientific criticism.
5. FADELESS BEAUTY.--There cannot be a picture without its bright
spots; and the steady contemplation of what is bright in others, has
a reflex influence upon the beholder. It reproduces what it reflects.
Nay, it seems to leave an impress even upon the countenance. The
feature, from having a dark, sinister aspect, becomes open, serene,
and sunny. A countenance so impressed, has neither the vacant stare of
the idiot, nor the crafty, penetrating look of the basilisk, but the
clear, placid aspect of truth and goodness. The woman who has such
a face is beautiful. She has a beauty which changes not with the
features, which fades not with years. It is beauty of expression. It
is the only kind of beauty which can be relied upon for a permanent
influence with the other sex. The violet will soon cease to smile.
Flowers must fade. The love that has nothing but beauty to sustain it,
soon withers away.
[Illustration: HAND IN HAND.]
6. A PRETTY WOMAN PLEASES THE EYE, a good woman, the heart. The one
is a jewel, the other a treasure. Invincible fidelity, good humor, and
complacency of temper, outlive all the charms of a fine face, and make
the decay of it invisible. That is true beauty which has not only
a substance, but a spirit; a beauty that we must intimately know to
justly appreciate.
7. THE WOMAN YOU LOVE BEST.--Beauty, dear reader, is probably the
woman you love best, but we trust it is the beauty of soul and
character, which sits in calm majesty on the brow, lurks on the lip,
and will outlive what is called a fine face.
8. THE WEARING OF ORNAMENTS.--Beauty needs not the foreign aid
of ornament, but is when unadorned adorned the most, is a trite
observation; but with a little qualification it is worthy of general
acceptance. Aside from the dress itself, ornaments should be very
sparingly used--at any rate, the danger lies in over-loading oneself,
and not in using too few. A young girl, and especially one of a light
and airy style of beauty, should never wear gems. A simple flower
in her hair or on her bosom is all that good taste will permit. When
jewels or other ornaments are worn, they should be placed where you
desire the eye of the spectator to rest, leaving the parts to which
you do not want attention called as plain and negative as possible.
There is no surer sign of vulgarity than a profusion of heavy jewelry
carried about upon the person.
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
* * * * *
SENSIBLE HELPS TO BEAUTY.
1. FOR SCRAWNY NECK.--Take off your tight collars, feather boas and
such heating things. Wash neck and chest with hot water, then rub in
sweet oil all that you can work in. Apply this every night before you
retire and leave the skin damp with it while you sleep.
2. FOR RED HANDS.--Keep your feet warm by soaking them often in hot
water, and keep your hands out of the water as much as possible. Rub
your hands with the skin of a lemon and it will whiten them. If your
skin will bear glycerine after you have washed, pour into the palm
a little glycerine and lemon juice mixed, and rub over the hands and
wipe off.
3. NECK AND FACE.--Do not bathe the neck and face just before or after
being out of doors. It tends to wrinkle the skin.
4. SCOWLS.--Never allow yourself to scowl, even if the sun be in your
eyes. That scowl will soon leave its trace and no beauty will outlive
it.
5. WRINKLED FOREHEAD.--If you wrinkle your forehead when you talk
or read, visit an oculist and have your eyes tested, and then wear
glasses to fit them.
6. OLD LOOKS.--Sometimes your face looks old because it is tired. Then
apply the following wash and it will make you look younger: Put three
drops of ammonia, a little borax, a tablespoonful of bay rum, and a
few drops of camphor into warm water and apply to your face. Avoid
getting it into your eyes.
7. THE BEST COSMETIC.--Squeeze the juice of a lemon into a pint of
sweet milk. Wash the face with it every night and in the morning wash
off with warm rain water. This will produce a very beautiful effect
upon the skin.
8. SPOTS ON THE FACE.--Moles and many other discolorations may be
removed from the face by a preparation composed of one part chemically
pure carbolic acid and two parts pure glycerine. Touch the spots with
a camel's-hair pencil, being careful that the preparation does not
come in contact with the adjacent skin. Five minutes after touching,
bathe with soft water and apply a little vaseline. It may be necessary
to repeat the operation, but if persisted in, the blemishes will be
entirely removed.
9. WRINKLES.--This prescription is said to cure wrinkles: Take one
ounce of white wax and melt it to a gentle heat. Add two ounces of the
juice of lily bulbs, two ounces of honey, two drams of rose water,
and a drop or two of ottar of roses. Apply twice a day, rubbing the
wrinkles the wrong way. Always use tepid water for washing the face.
10. THE HAIR.--The hair must be kept free from dust or it will fall
out. One of the best things for cleaning it, is a raw egg rubbed into
the roots and then washed out in several waters. The egg furnishes
material for the hair to grow on, while keeping the scalp perfectly
clean. Apply once a month.
11. LOSS OF HAIR.--When through sickness or headache the hair falls
out, the following tonic may be applied with good effect: Use one
ounce of glycerine, one ounce of bay rum, one pint of strong sage tea,
and apply every other night rubbing well into the scalp.
* * * * *
HOW TO KEEP THE BLOOM AND GRACE OF YOUTH.
THE SECRET OF ITS PRESERVATION.
[Illustration: MRS. WM. McKINLEY.]
1. The question most often asked by women is regarding the art of
retaining, with advancing years, the bloom and grace of youth. This
secret is not learned through the analysis of chemical compounds,
but by a thorough study of nature's laws peculiar to their sex. It is
useless for women with wrinkled faces, dimmed eyes and blemished skins
to seek for external applications of beautifying balms and lotions
to bring the glow of life and health into the face, and yet there are
truths, simple yet wonderful, whereby the bloom of early life can
be restored and retained, as should be the heritage of all God's
children, sending the light of beauty into every woman's face. The
secret:
2. Do not bathe in hard water; soften it with a few drops of ammonia,
or a little borax.
3. Do not bathe the face while it is very warm, and never use very
cold water.
4. Do not attempt to remove dust with cold water; give your face a hot
bath, using plenty of good soap, then give it a thorough rinsing with
warm water.
5. Do not rub your face with a coarse towel.
6. Do not believe you can remove wrinkles by filling in the crevices
with powder. Give your face a Russian bath every night; that is, bathe
it with water so hot that you wonder how you can bear it, and then,
a minute after, with moderately cold water, that will make your face
glow with warmth; dry it with a soft towel.
[Illustration: MALE. FEMALE. Showing the Difference in Form and
Proportion.]
* * * * *
FORM AND DEFORMITY.
1. PHYSICAL DEFORMITIES.--Masquerading is a modern accomplishment.
Girls wear tight shoes, burdensome skirts, corsets, etc., all of which
prove so fatal to their health. At the age of seventeen or eighteen,
our "young ladies" are sorry specimens of feminality; and palpitators,
cosmetics and all the modern paraphernalia are required to make them
appear fresh and blooming. Man is equally at fault. A devotee to all
the absurd devices of fashion, he practically asserts that "dress
makes the man." But physical deformities are of far less importance
than moral imperfections.
2. DEVELOPMENT OF THE INDIVIDUAL.--It is not possible for human beings
to attain their full stature of humanity, except by loving long
and perfectly. Behold that venerable man! he is mature in judgment,
perfect in every action and expression, and saintly in goodness. You
almost worship as you behold. What rendered him thus perfect? What
rounded off his natural asperities, and moulded up his virtues? Love
mainly. It permeated every pore, and seasoned every fibre of his
being, as could nothing else. Mark that matronly woman. In the bosom
of her family she is more than a queen and goddess combined. All her
looks and actions express the outflowing of some or all of the human
virtues. To know her is to love her. She became thus perfect, not in a
day or year, but by a long series of appropriate means. Then by what?
Chiefly in and by love, which is specially adapted thus to develop
this maturity.
3. PHYSICAL STATURE.--Men and women generally increase in stature
until the twenty-fifth year, and it is safe to assume, that perfection
of function is not established until maturity of bodily development
is completed. The physical contour of these representations plainly
exhibits the difference in structure, and also implies difference of
function. Solidity and strength are represented by the organization of
the male, grace and beauty by that of the female. His broad shoulders
represent physical power and the right of dominion, while her bosom is
the symbol of love and nutrition.
* * * * *
HOW TO DETERMINE A PERFECT HUMAN FIGURE.
The proportions of the perfect human figure are strictly mathematical.
The whole figure is six times the length of the foot. Whether the form
be slender or plump, this rule holds good. Any deviation from it is a
departure from the highest beauty of proportion. The Greeks made all
their statues according to this rule. The face, from the highest point
of the forehead, where the hair begins, to the end of the chin, is
one-tenth of the whole stature. The hand, from the wrist to the end
of the middle finger, is the same. The chest is a fourth, and from the
nipples to the top of the head is the same. From the top of the chest
to the highest point of the forehead is a seventh. If the length of
the face, from the roots of the hair to the chin, be divided into
three equal parts, the first division determines the point where the
eyebrows meet, and the second the place of the nostrils. The navel is
the central point of the human body, and if a man should lie on his
back with his arms and legs extended, the periphery of the circle
which might be described around him, with the navel for its center,
would touch the extremities of his hands and feet. The height from
the feet to the top of the head is the same as the distance from the
extremity of one hand to the extremity of the other when the arms are
extended.
[Illustration: Lady's Dress in the days of Greece.]
The Venus de Medici is considered the most perfect model of the female
forms, and has been the admiration of the world for ages. Alexander
Walker, after minutely describing this celebrated statue, says: "All
these admirable characteristics of the female form, the mere existence
of which in woman must, one is tempted to imagine, be even to herself,
a source of ineffable pleasure, these constitute a being worthy, as
the personification of beauty, of occupying the temples of Greece;
present an object finer, alas, than Nature even seems capable of
producing; and offer to all nations and ages a theme of admiration and
delight." Well might Thomson say:
So stands the statue that enchants the world,
So, bending, tries to vail the matchless boast--
The mingled beauties of exulting Greece.
We beg our readers to observe the form of the waist (evidently
innocent of corsets and tight dresses) of this model woman, and also
that of the Greek Slave in the accompanying outlines. These forms
are such as unperverted nature and the highest art alike require.
To compress the waist, and thereby change its form, pushing the ribs
inward, displacing the vital organs, and preventing the due expansion
of the lungs, is as destructive to beauty as it is to health.
* * * * *
THE HISTORY, MYSTERY, BENEFITS AND INJURIES OF THE CORSET.
[Illustration: The Corset in the 18th Century.]
1. The origin of the corset is lost in remote antiquity. The figures
of the early Egyptian women show clearly an artificial shape of the
waist produced by some style of corset. A similar style of dress must
also have prevailed among the ancient Jewish maidens; for Isaiah, in
calling upon the women to put away their personal adornments, says:
"Instead of a girdle there shall be a rent, and instead of a stomacher
(corset) a girdle of sackcloth."
2. Homer also tells us of the cestus or girdle of Venus, which was
borrowed by the haughty Juno with a view to increasing her personal
attractions, that Jupiter might be a more tractable and orderly
husband.
3. Coming down to the later times, we find the corset was used in
France and England as early as the 12th century.
4. The most extensive and extreme use of the corset occurred in the
16th century, during the reign of Catherine de Medici of France and
Queen Elizabeth of England. With Catherine de Medici a thirteen-inch
waist measurement was considered the standard of fashion, while a
thick waist was an abomination. No lady could consider her figure of
proper shape unless she could span her waist with her two hands. To
produce this result a strong rigid corset was worn night and day until
the waist was laced down to the required size. Then over this corset
was placed the steel apparatus shown in the illustration on next page.
This corset-cover reached from the hip to the throat, and produced a
rigid figure over which the dress would fit with perfect smoothness.
[Illustration: Steel Corset worn in Catherine's time.]
5. During the 18th century corsets were largely made from a species
of leather known as "Bend," which was not unlike that used for shoe
soles, and measured nearly a quarter of an inch in thickness. One
of the most popular corsets of the time was the corset and stomacher
shown in the accompanying illustration.
6. About the time of the French Revolution a reaction set in against
tight lacing, and for a time there was a return to the early
classical Greek costume. This style of dress prevailed, with various
modifications, until about 1810 when corsets and tight lacing again
returned with threefold fury. Buchan, a prominent writer of this
period, says that it was by no means uncommon to see "a mother lay her
daughter down upon the carpet, and, placing her foot upon her back,
break half a dozen laces in tightening her stays."
7. It is reserved to our own time to demonstrate that corsets and
tight lacing do not necessarily go hand in hand. Distortion and
feebleness are not beauty. A proper proportion should exist between
the size of the waist and the breadth of the shoulders and hips,
and if the waist is diminished below this proportion, it suggests
disproportion and invalidism rather than grace and beauty.
8. The perfect corset is one which possesses just that degree of
rigidity which will prevent it from wrinkling, but will at the same
time allow freedom in the bending and twisting of the body. Corsets
boned with whalebone, horn or steel are necessarily stiff, rigid and
uncomfortable. After a few days' wear the bones or steels become bent
and set in position, or, as more frequently happens, they break and
cause injury or discomfort to the wearer.
9. About seven years ago an article was discovered for the stiffening
of corsets, which has revolutionized the corset industry of the world.
This article is manufactured from the natural fibers of the Mexican
Ixtle plant, and is known as Coraline. It consists of straight, stiff
fibers like bristles bound together into a cord by being wound with
two strands of thread passing in opposite directions. This produces an
elastic fiber intermediate in stiffness between twine and whalebone.
It cannot break, but it possesses all the stiffness and flexibility
necessary to hold the corset in shape and prevent its wrinkling.
We congratulate the ladies of to-day upon the advantages they enjoy
over their sisters of two centuries ago, in the forms and the graceful
and easy curves of the corsets now made as compared with those of
former times.
[Illustration]
[Illustration: Forms of Corsets in the time of Elizabeth of England.]
[Illustration: EGYPTIAN CORSET.]
* * * * *
TIGHT-LACING.
It destroys natural beauty and creates an unpleasant and irritable
temper. A tight-laced chest and a good disposition cannot go
together. The human form has been molded by nature, the best shape is
undoubtedly that which she has given it. To endeavor to render it more
elegant by artificial means is to change it; to make it much smaller
below and much larger above is to destroy its beauty; to keep it cased
up in a kind of domestic cuirass is not only to deform it, but to
expose the internal parts to serious injury. Under such compression as
is commonly practiced by ladies, the development of the bones, which
are still tender, does not take place conformably to the intention
of nature, because nutrition is necessarily stopped, and they
consequently become twisted and deformed.
[Illustration: THE NATURAL WAIST. THE EFFECTS OF LACING.]
Those who wear these appliances of tight-lacing often complain that
they cannot sit upright without them--are sometimes, indeed, compelled
to wear them during all the twenty-four hours; a fact which proves to
what extent such articles weaken the muscles of the trunk. The injury
does not fall merely on the internal structure of the body, but also
on its beauty, and on the temper and feelings with which that beauty
is associated. Beauty is in reality but another name for expression
of countenance, which is the index of sound health, intelligence,
good feelings and peace of mind. All are aware that uneasy feelings,
existing habitually in the breast, speedily exhibit their signature
on the countenance, and that bitter thoughts or a bad temper spoil the
human expression of its comeliness and grace.
[Illustration: NATURAL HAIR.]
* * * * *
THE CARE OF THE HAIR.
1. THE COLOR OF THE HAIR.--The color of the hair corresponds with that
of the skin--being dark or black, with a dark complexion, and red or
yellow with a fair skin. When a white skin is seen in conjunction
with black hair, as among the women of Syria and Barbary, the apparent
exception arises from protection from the sun's rays, and opposite
colors are often found among people of one prevailing feature. Thus
red-haired Jews are not uncommon, though the nation in general have
dark complexion and hair.
2. THE IMPERISHABLE NATURE OF HAIR.--The imperishable nature of hair
arises from the combination of salt and metals in its composition. In
old tombs and on mummies it has been found in a perfect state, after
a lapse of over two thousand years. There are many curious accounts
proving the indestructibility of the human hair.
3. TUBULAR.--In the human family the hairs are tubular, the tubes
being intersected by partitions, resembling in some degree the
cellular tissue of plants. Their hollowness prevents incumbrance from
weight, while their power of resistance is increased by having their
traverse sections rounded in form.
4. CAUTIONS.--It is ascertained that a full head of hair, beard
and whiskers, are a prevention against colds and consumptions.
Occasionally, however, it is found necessary to remove the hair from
the head, in cases of fever or disease, to stay the inflammatory
symptoms, and to relieve the brain. The head should invariably be kept
cool. Close night-caps are unhealthy, and smoking-caps and coverings
for the head within doors are alike detrimental to the free growth of
the hair, weakening it, and causing it to fall out.
HOW TO BEAUTIFY AND PRESERVE THE HAIR.
1. TO BEAUTIFY THE HAIR.--Keep the head clean, the pores of the skin
open, and the whole circulatory system in a healthy condition, and you
will have no need of bear's grease (alias hog's lard). Where there
is a tendency in the hair to fall off on account of the weakness or
sluggishness of the circulation, or an unhealthy state of the skin,
cold water and friction with a tolerably stiff brush are probably the
best remedial agents.
2. BARBER'S SHAMPOOS.--Are very beneficial if properly prepared. They
should not be made too strong. Avoid strong shampoos of any kind.
Great caution should be exercised in this matter.
3. CARE OF THE HAIR.--To keep the hair healthy, keep the head clean.
Brush the scalp well with a stiff brush, while dry. Then wash with
castile soap, and rub into the roots bay rum, brandy or camphor
water. This done twice a month will prove beneficial. Brush the
scalp thoroughly twice a week. Dampen the hair with soft water at the
toilet, and do not use oil.
4. HAIR WASH.--Take one ounce of borax, half an ounce of camphor
powder--these ingredients fine--and dissolve them in one quart of
boiling water. When cool, the solution will be ready for use. Dampen
the hair frequently. This wash is said not only to cleanse and
beautify, but to strengthen the hair, preserve the color and prevent
baldness.
ANOTHER EXCELLENT WASH.--The best wash we know for cleansing and
softening the hair is an egg beaten up and rubbed well into the hair,
and afterwards washed out with several washes of warm water.
5. THE ONLY SENSIBLE AND SAFE HAIR OIL.--The following is considered
a most valuable preparation: Take of extract of yellow Peruvian bark,
fifteen grains; extract of rhatany root, eight grains; extract of
burdoch root and oil of nutmegs (fixed), of each two drachms; camphor
(dissolve with spirits of wine), fifteen grains; beef marrow, two
ounces; best olive oil, one ounce; citron juice, half a drachm;
aromatic essential oil, as much as sufficient to render it fragrant;
mix and make into an ointment. Two drachms of bergamot, and a few
drops of attar of roses would suffice.
6. HAIR WASH.--A good hair wash is soap and water, and the oftener it
is applied the freer the surface of the head will be from scurf. The
hair-brush should also be kept in requisition morning and evening.
7. TO REMOVE SUPERFLUOUS HAIR.--With those who dislike the use of
arsenic, the following is used for removing superfluous hair from
the skin: Lime, one ounce; carbonate of potash, two ounces; charcoal
powder, one drachm. For use, make it into a paste with a little warm
water, and apply it to the part, previously shaved close. As soon as
it has become thoroughly dry, it may be washed off with a little warm
water.
8. COLORING FOR EYELASHES AND EYEBROWS.--In eyelashes the chief
element of beauty consists in their being long and glossy; the
eyebrows should be finely arched and clearly divided from each other.
The most innocent darkener of the brow is the expressed juice of the
elderberry, or a burnt clove.
[Illustration: JAPANESE MOUSINE MAKING HER TOILET.]
9. CRIMPING HAIR.--To make the hair stay in crimps, take five cents
worth of gum arabic and add to it just enough boiling water to
dissolve it. When dissolved, add enough alcohol to make it rather
thin. Let this stand all night and then bottle it to prevent the
alcohol from evaporating. This put on the hair at night, after it is
done up in papers or pins, will make it stay in crimp the hottest day,
and is perfectly harmless.
10. TO CURL THE HAIR.--There is no preparation that will make
naturally straight hair assume a permanent curl. The following will
keep the hair in curl for a short time: Take borax, two ounces; gum
arabic, one drachm; and hot water, not boiling, one quart; stir, and,
as soon as the ingredients are dissolved, add three tablespoonfuls of
strong spirits of camphor. On retiring to rest, wet the hair with the
above liquid, and roll in twists of paper as usual. Do not disturb the
hair until morning, when untwist and form into ringlets.
11. FOR FALLING OR LOOSENING OF THE HAIR.--Take:
Alcohol, a half pint.
Salt, as much as will dissolve.
Glycerine, a tablespoonful.
Flour of sulphur, teaspoonful. Mix.
Rub on the scalp every morning.
12. TO DARKEN THE HAIR WITHOUT BAD EFFECTS.--Take:
Blue vitriol (powdered), one drachm.
Alcohol, one ounce.
Essence of roses, ten drops.
Rain-water, a half-pint.
Shake together until they are thoroughly dissolved.
13. GRAY HAIR.--There are no known means by which the hair can be
prevented from turning gray, and none which can restore it to its
original hue, except through the process of dyeing. The numerous "hair
color restorers" which are advertised are chemical preparations
which act in the manner of a dye or as a paint, and are nearly always
dependent for their power on the presence of lead. This mineral,
applied to the skin, for a long time, will lead to the most disastrous
maladies--lead-palsy, lead colic, and other symptoms of poisoning. It
should, therefore, never be used for this purpose.
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
* * * * *
HOW TO CURE PIMPLES OR OTHER FACIAL ERUPTIONS.
1. It requires self-denial to get rid of pimples, for persons troubled
with them will persist in eating fat meats and other articles of food
calculated to produce them. Avoid the use of rich gravies, or pastry,
or anything of the kind in excess. Take all the out-door exercise you
can and never indulge in a late supper. Retire at a reasonable hour,
and rise early in the morning. Sulphur to purify the blood may be
taken three times a week--a thimbleful in a glass of milk before
breakfast. It takes some time for the sulphur to do its work,
therefore persevere in its use till the humors, or pimples, or
blotches, disappear. Avoid getting wet while taking the sulphur.
2. TRY THIS RECIPE: Wash the face twice a day in warm water, and rub
dry with a coarse towel. Then with a soft towel rub in a lotion made
of two ounces of white brandy, one ounce of cologne, and one-half
ounce of liquor potasse. Persons subject to skin eruptions should
avoid very salty or fat food. A dose of Epsom salts occasionally might
prove beneficial.
3. Wash the face in a dilution of carbolic acid, allowing one
teaspoonful to a pint of water. This is an excellent and purifying
lotion, and may be used on the most delicate skins. Be careful about
letting this wash get into the eyes.
4. Oil of sweet almonds, one ounce; fluid potash, one drachm. Shake
well together, and then add rose water, one ounce; pure water, six
ounces. Mix. Rub the pimples or blotches for some minutes with a rough
towel, and then dab them with the lotion.
5. Dissolve one ounce of borax, and sponge the face with it every
night. When there are insects, rub on flower of sulphur, dry after
washing, rub well and wipe dry; use plenty of castile soap.
6. Dilute corrosive sublimate with oil of almonds. A few days'
application will remove them.
* * * * *
BLACK-HEADS AND FLESH WORMS.
[Illustration: A REGULAR FLESH WORM GREATLY MAGNIFIED.]
This is a minute little creature, scientifically called _Demodex
folliculorum_, hardly visible to the naked eye, with comparatively
large fore body, a more slender hind body and eight little stumpy
processes that do duty as legs. No specialized head is visible,
although of course there is a mouth orifice. These creatures live
on the sweat glands or pores of the human face, and owing to the
appearance that they give to the infested pores, they are usually
known as "black-heads." It is not at all uncommon to see an otherwise
pretty face disfigured by these ugly creatures, although the insects
themselves are nearly transparent white. The black appearance is
really due the accumulation of dirt which gets under the edges of
the skin of the enlarged sweat glands and cannot be removed in the
ordinary way by washing, because the abnormal, hardened secretion of
the gland itself becomes stained. These insects are so lowly organized
that it is almost impossible to satisfactory deal with them and
they sometimes cause the continual festering of the skin which they
inhabit.
REMEDY.--Press them out with a hollow key or with the thumb and
fingers, and apply a mixture of sulphur and cream every evening. Wash
every morning with the best toilet soap, or wash the face with hot
water with a soft flannel at bedtime.
[Illustration: A HEALTHY COMPLEXION.]
* * * * *
LOVE.
But there's nothing half so sweet in life
As love's young dream.--MOORE.
All love is sweet,
Given or returned. Common as light is love,
And its familiar voice wearies not ever.--SHELLEY.
Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love.--SHAKESPEARE.
Let those love now who never loved before,
Let those that always loved now love the more.
1. LOVE BLENDS YOUNG HEARTS.--Love blends young hearts in blissful
unity, and, for the time, so ignores past ties and affections, as to
make willing separation of the son from his father's house, and the
daughter from all the sweet endearments of her childhood's home, to
go out together and rear for themselves an altar, around which shall
cluster all the cares and delights, the anxieties and sympathies, of
the family relationship; this love, if pure, unselfish, and discreet,
constitutes the chief usefulness and happiness of human life.
2. WITHOUT LOVE.--Without love there would be no organized households,
and, consequently, none of that earnest endeavor for competence and
respectability, which is the mainspring to human effort; none of those
sweet, softening, restraining and elevating influences of domestic
life, which can alone fill the earth with the glory of the Lord and
make glad the city of Zion. This love is indeed heaven upon earth; but
above would not be heaven without it; where there is not love, there
is fear; but, "love casteth out fear." And yet we naturally do offend
what we most love.
3. LOVE IS THE SUN OF LIFE.--Most beautiful in morning and evening,
but warmest and steadiest at noon. It is the sun of the soul. Life
without love is worse than death; a world without a sun. The love
which does not lead to labor will soon die out, and the thankfulness
which does not embody itself in sacrifices is already changing to
gratitude. Love is not ripened in one day, nor in many, nor even in
a human lifetime. It is the oneness of soul with soul in appreciation
and perfect trust. To be blessed it must rest in that faith in the
Divine which underlies every other motion. To be true, it must be
eternal as God himself.
4. LOVE IS DEPENDENT.--Remember that love is dependent upon forms;
courtesy of etiquette guards and protects courtesy of heart. How many
hearts have been lost irrevocably, and how many averted eyes and
cold looks have been gained from what seemed, perhaps, but a trifling
negligence of forms.
[Illustration: AGE COUNSELING YOUTH.]
5. RADICAL DIFFERENCES.--Men and women should not be judged by the
same rules. There are many radical differences in their affectional
natures. Man is the creature of interest and ambition. His nature
leads him forth into the struggle and bustle of the world. Love is but
the embellishment of his early life, or a song piped in the intervals
of the acts. He seeks for fame, for fortune, for space in the world's
thoughts, and dominion over his fellow-men. But a woman's whole life
is a history of the affections. The heart is her world; it is there
her ambition strives for empire; it is there her ambition seeks for
hidden treasures. She sends forth her sympathies on adventure; she
embarks her whole soul in the traffic of affection; and if shipwrecked
her case is hopeless, for it is bankruptcy of the heart.
6. WOMAN'S LOVE.--Woman's love is stronger than death; it rises
superior to adversity, and towers in sublime beauty above the
niggardly selfishness of the world. Misfortune cannot suppress it;
enmity cannot alienate it; temptation cannot enslave it. It is
the guardian angel of the nursery and the sick bed; it gives an
affectionate concord to the partnership of life and interest,
circumstances cannot modify it; it ever remains the same to sweeten
existence, to purify the cup of life, on the rugged pathway to the
grave, and melt to moral pliability the brittle nature of man. It is
the ministering spirit of home, hovering in soothing caresses over the
cradle, and the death-bed of the household, and filling up the urn of
all its sacred memories.
7. A LADY'S COMPLEXION.--He who loves a lady's complexion, form and
features, loves not her true self, but her soul's old clothes. The
love that has nothing but beauty to sustain it, soon withers and dies.
The love that is fed with presents always requires feeding. Love, and
love only, is the loan for love. Love is of the nature of a burning
glass, which, kept still in one place, fireth; changed often, it doth
nothing. The purest joy we can experience in one we love, is to see
that person a source of happiness to others. When you are with the
person loved, you have no sense of being bored. This humble and
trivial circumstance is the great test--the only sure and abiding test
of love.
8. TWO SOULS COME TOGETHER.--When two souls come together, each
seeking to magnify the other, each in subordinate sense worshiping
the other, each help the other; the two flying together so that each
wing-beat of the one helps each wing-beat of the other--when two souls
come together thus, they are lovers. They who unitedly move themselves
away from grossness and from earth, toward the throne of crystaline
and the pavement golden, are, indeed, true lovers.
[Illustration: LOVE MAKING IN THE EARLY COLONIAL DAYS.]
[Illustration: CUPID'S CAPTURED VICTIM.]
* * * * *
THE POWER AND PECULIARITIES OF LOVE.
LOVE IS A TONIC AND A REMEDY FOR DISEASE, MAKES PEOPLE LOOK YOUNGER,
CREATES INDUSTRY, ETC.
"All thoughts, all passions, all desires.
Whatever stirs this mortal frame,
Are ministers of Love,
And feed his sacred flame."
1. It is a physiological fact long demonstrated that persons
possessing a loving disposition borrow less of the cares of life, and
also live much longer than persons with a strong, narrow and selfish
nature. Persons who love scenery, love domestic animals, show great
attachment for all friends; love their home dearly and find interest
and enchantment in almost everything have qualities of mind and heart
which indicate good health and a happy disposition.
2. Persons who love music and are constantly humming or whistling a
tune, are persons that need not be feared, they are kind-hearted
and with few exceptions possess a loving disposition. Very few good
musicians become criminals.
3. Parents that cultivate a love among their children will find
that the same feeling will soon be manifested in their children's
disposition. Sunshine in the hearts of the parents will blossom in the
lives of the children. The parent who continually cherishes a feeling
of dislike and rebellion in his soul, cultivating moral hatred against
his fellow-man, will soon find the same things manifested by his
son. As the son resembles his father in looks so he will to a certain
extent resemble him in character. Love in the heart of the parent
will beget kindness and affection in the heart of a child. Continuous
scolding and fretting in the home will soon make love a stranger.
4. If you desire to cultivate love, create harmony in all your
feelings and faculties. Remember that all that is pure, holy and
virtuous in love flows from the deepest fountain of the human soul.
Poison the fountain and you change virtue to vice, and happiness to
misery.
5. Love strengthens health, and disappointment cultivates disease. A
person in love will invariably enjoy the best of health. Ninety-nine
per cent. of our strong constitutioned men, now in physical ruin, have
wrecked themselves on the breakers of an unnatural love. Nothing but
right love and a right marriage will restore them to health.
6. All men feel much better for going a courting, providing they
court purely. Nothing tears the life out of man more than lust, vulgar
thoughts and immoral conduct. The libertine or harlot has changed
love, God's purest gift to man, into lust. They cannot acquire love in
its purity again, the sacred flame has vanished forever. Love is pure,
and cannot be found in the heart of a seducer.
7. A woman is never so bright and full of health as when deeply in
love. Many sickly and frail women are snatched from the clutches of
some deadly disease and restored to health by falling in love.
8. It is a long established fact that married persons are healthier
than unmarried persons; thus it proves that health and happiness
belong to the home. Health depends upon mind. Love places the mind
into a delightful state and quickens every human function, makes the
blood circulate and weaves threads of joy into cables of domestic
love.
9. An old but true proverb: "A true man loving one woman will speak
well of all women. A true woman loving one man will speak well of all
men. A good wife praises all men, but praises her husband most. A good
man praises all women, but praises his wife most."
10. Persons deeply in love become peculiarly pleasant, winning and
tender. It is said that a musician can never excel or an artist do
his best until he has been deeply in love. A good orator, a great
statesman or great men in general are greater and better for having
once been thoroughly in love. A man who truly loves his wife and home
is always a safe man to trust.
11. Love makes people look younger in years. People in unhappy homes
look older and more worn and fatigued. A woman at thirty, well courted
and well married, looks five or ten years younger than a woman of the
same age unhappily married. Old maids and bachelors always look older
than they are. A flirting widow always looks younger than an old maid
of like age.
12. Love renders women industrious and frugal, and a loving husband
spends lavishly on a loved wife and children, though miserly towards
others.
13. Love cultivates self-respect and produces beauty. Beauty in walk
and beauty in looks; a girl in love is at her best; it brings out
the finest traits of her character, she walks more erect and is more
generous and forgiving; her voice is sweeter and she makes happy all
about her. She works better, sings better and is better.
14. Now in conclusion, a love marriage is the best life insurance
policy; it pays dividends every day, while every other insurance
policy merely promises to pay after death. Remember that statistics
demonstrate that married people outlive old maids and old bachelors by
a goodly number of years and enjoy healthier and happier lives.
[Illustration: THE TURKISH WAY OF MAKING LOVE]
[Illustration: PREPARING TO ENTERTAIN HER LOVER.]
[Illustration: CONFIDENCE.]
* * * * *
AMATIVENESS OR CONNUBIAL LOVE.
1. MULTIPLYING THE RACE.--Some means for multiplying our race is
necessary to prevent its extinction by death. Propagation and death
appertain to man's earthly existence. If the Deity had seen fit to
bring every member of the human family into being by a direct act of
creative power, without the agency of parents, the present wise and
benevolent arrangements of husbands and wives, parents and
children, friends and neighbors, would have been superseded, and all
opportunities for exercising parental and connubial love, in which
so much enjoyment is taken, cut off. But the domestic feelings and
relations, as now arranged, must strike every philosophical observer
as inimitably beautiful and perfect--as the offspring of infinite
Wisdom and Goodness combined.
2. AMATIVENESS AND ITS COMBINATIONS constitute their origin,
counterpart, and main medium of manifestation. Its primary function
is connubial love. From it, mainly, spring those feelings which
exist between the sexes as such and result in marriage and offspring.
Combined with the higher sentiments, it gives rise to all those
reciprocal kind feelings and nameless courtesies which each sex
manifests towards the other; refining and elevating both, promoting
gentility and politeness, and greatly increasing social and general
happiness.
3. RENDERS MEN MORE POLITE TO WOMEN.--So far from being in the least
gross or indelicate, its proper exercise is pure, chaste, virtuous,
and even an ingredient in good manners. It is this which renders men
always more polite towards women than to one another, and more refined
in their society, and which makes women more kind, grateful, genteel
and tender towards men than women. It makes mothers love their
sons more than their daughters, and fathers more attached to their
daughters. Man's endearing recollections of his mother or wife form
his most powerful incentives to virtue, study, and good deeds, as well
as restraints upon his vicious inclinations; and, in proportion as a
young man is dutiful and affectionate to his mother, will he be fond
of his wife; for, this faculty is the parent of both.
4. ALL SHOULD CULTIVATE THE FACULTY OF AMATIVENESS OR CONNUBIAL
LOVE.--Study the personal charms and mental accomplishments of the
other sex by ardent admirers of beautiful forms, and study graceful
movements and elegant manners, and remember, much depends upon the
tones and accents of the voice. Never be gruff if you desire to be
winning. Seek and enjoy and reciprocate fond looks and feelings.
Before you can create favorable impressions you must first be honest
and sincere and natural, and your conquest will be sure and certain.
* * * * *
LOVE AND COMMON-SENSE.
1. Do not love her because she goes to the altar with her head full
of book learning, her hands of no earthly use, save for the piano
and brush; because she has no conception of the duties and
responsibilities of a wife; because she hates housework, hates its
everlasting routine and ever recurring duties; because she hates
children and will adopt every means to evade motherhood; because she
loves her ease, loves to have her will supreme, loves, oh how well, to
be free to go and come, to let the days slip idly by, to be absolved
from all responsibility, to live without labor, without care? Will you
love her selfish, shirking, calculating nature after twenty years of
close companionship?
2. Do you love him because he is a man, and therefore, no matter how
weak mentally, morally or physically he may be, he has vested in him
the power to save you from the ignominy of an old maid's existence?
Because you would rather be Mrs. Nobody, than make the effort to be
Miss Somebody? because you have a great empty place in your head and
heart that nothing but a man can fill? because you feel you cannot
live without him? God grant the time may never come when you cannot
live with him.
3. Do you love her because she is a thoroughly womanly woman; for
her tender sympathetic nature; for the jewels of her life, which are
absolute purity of mind and heart; for the sweet sincerity of her
disposition; for her loving, charitable thought; for her strength
of character? because she is pitiful to the sinful, tender to the
sorrowful, capable, self-reliant, modest, true-hearted? in brief,
because she is the embodiment of all womanly virtues?
4. Do you love him because he is a manly man; because the living and
operating principle of his life is a tender reverence for all women;
because his love is the overflow of the best part of his nature;
because he has never soiled his soul with an unholy act or his
lips with an oath; because mentally he is a man among men; because
physically he stands head and shoulders above the masses; because
morally he is far beyond suspicion, in his thought, word or deed?
because his earnest manly consecrated life is a mighty power on God's
side?
5. But there always has been and always will be unhappy marriages
until men learn what husbandhood means; how to care for that tenderly
matured, delicately constituted being, that he takes into his care
and keeping. That if her wonderful adjusted organism is overtaxed
and overburdened, her happiness, which is largely dependent upon her
health, is destroyed.
6. Until men give the women they marry the undivided love of their
heart; until constancy is the key-note of a life which speaks
eloquently of clean thoughts and clean hearts.
7. Until men and women recognize that self-control in a man, and
modesty in a woman, will bring a mutual respect that years of wedded
life will only strengthen. Until they recognize that love is the
purest and holiest of all things known to humanity, will marriage
continue to bring unhappiness and discontent, instead of that comfort
and restful peace which all loyal souls have a right to expect and
enjoy.
8. Be sensible and marry a sensible, honest and industrious companion,
and happiness through life will be your reward.
[Illustration: A CALLER.]
[Illustration]
* * * * *
WHAT WOMEN LOVE IN MEN.
1. Women naturally love courage, force and firmness in men. The
ideal man in a woman's eye must be heroic and brave. Woman naturally
despises a coward, and she has little or no respect for a bashful man.
2. Woman naturally loves her lord and master. Women who desperately
object to be overruled, nevertheless admire men who overrule them, and
few women would have any respect for a man whom they could completely
rule and control.
3. Man is naturally the protector of woman; as the male wild animal
of the forest protects the female, so it is natural for man to protect
his wife and children, and therefore woman admires those qualities in
a man which make him a protector.
4. LARGE MEN.--Women naturally love men of strength, size and fine
physique, a tall, large and strong man rather than a short, small and
weak man. A woman always pities a weakly man, but rarely ever has any
love for him.
5. SMALL AND WEAKLY MEN.--All men would be of good size in frame
and flesh, were it not for the infirmities visited upon them by the
indiscretion of parents and ancestors of generations before.
6. YOUTHFUL SEXUAL EXCITEMENT.--There are many children born healthy
and vigorous who destroy the full vigor of their generative organs
in youth by self-abuse, and if they survive and marry, their children
will have small bones, small frames and sickly constitutions. It is
therefore not strange that instinct should lead women to admire men
not touched with these symptoms of physical debility.
7. GENEROSITY.--Woman generally loves a generous man. Religion absorbs
a great amount of money in temples, churches, ministerial salaries,
etc., and ambition and appetite absorb countless millions, yet woman
receives more gifts from man than all these combined: she loves a
generous giver. _Generosity and Gallantry_ are the jewels which she
most admires. A woman receiving presents from a man implies that she
will pay him back in love, and the woman who accepts a man's presents,
and does not respect him, commits a wrong which is rarely ever
forgiven.
8. INTELLIGENCE.--Above all other qualities in man, woman admires
his intelligence. Intelligence is man's woman captivating card. This
character in woman is illustrated by an English army officer, as told
by O.S. Fowler, betrothed in marriage to a beautiful, loving heiress,
summoned to India, who wrote back to her:
"I have lost an eye, a leg, an arm, and been so badly marred and
begrimmed besides, that you never could love this poor, maimed
soldier. Yet, I love you too well to make your life wretched by
requiring you to keep your marriage-vow with me, from which I hereby
release you. Find among English peers one physically more perfect,
whom you can love better."
She answered, as all genuine women must answer:
"Your noble mind, your splendid talents, your martial prowess which
maimed you, are what I love. As long as you retain sufficient body to
contain the casket of your soul, which alone is what I admire, I love
you all the same, and long to make you mine forever."
9. SOFT MEN.--All women despise soft and silly men more than all
other defects in their character. Woman never can love a man
whose conversation is flat and insipid. Every man seeking woman's
appreciation or love should always endeavor to show his intelligence
and manifest an interest in books and daily papers. He should read
books and inform himself so that he can talk intelligently upon
the various topics of the day. Even an ignorant woman always loves
superior intelligence.
10. SEXUAL VIGOR.--Women love sexual vigor in men. This is human
nature. Weakly and delicate fathers have weak and puny children,
though the mother may be strong and robust. A weak mother often bears
strong children, if the father is physically and sexually vigorous.
Consumption is often inherited from fathers, because they furnish the
body, yet more women die with it because of female obstructions. Hence
women love passion in men, because it endows their offspring with
strong functional vigor.
11. PASSIONATE MEN--The less passion any woman possesses, the more she
prizes a strong passionate man. This is a natural consequence, for if
she married one equally passionless, their children would be poorly
endowed or they would have none; she therefore admires him who makes
up the deficiency. Hence very amorous men prefer quiet, modest and
reserved women.
12. HOMELY MEN are admired by women if they are large, strong and
vigorous and possess a good degree of intelligence. Looks are trifles
compared with the other qualities which man may possess.
13. YOUNG MAN, If you desire to win the love and admiration of young
ladies, first, be intelligent; read books and papers; remember what
you read, so you can talk about it. Second, be generous and do not
show a stingy and penurious disposition when in the company of ladies.
Third, be sensible, original, and have opinions of your own and do not
agree with everything that someone else says, or agree with everything
that a lady may say. Ladies naturally admire genteel and intelligent
discussions and conversations when there is someone to talk with who
has an opinion of his own. Woman despises a man who has no opinion
of his own; she hates a trifling disposition and admires leadership,
original ideas, and looks up to man as a leader. Women despise all men
whom they can manage, overrule, cow-down and subdue.
14. BE SELF-SUPPORTING.--The young man who gives evidence of thrift is
always in demand. Be enthusiastic and drive with success all that
you undertake. A young man, sober, honest and industrious, holding a
responsible position or having a business of his own, is a prize that
some bright and beautiful young lady would like to draw. Woman admires
a certainty.
15. UNIFORMED MEN.--It is a well known fact that women love uniformed
men. The soldier figures as a hero in about every tale of fiction
and it is said by good authority that a man in uniform has three more
chances to marry than the man without uniform. The correct reason is,
the soldier's profession is bravery, and he is dressed and trained for
that purpose, and it is that which makes him admired by ladies rather
than the uniform which he wears. His profession is also that of a
protector.
[Illustration]
* * * * *
WHAT MEN LOVE IN WOMEN.
1. FEMALE BEAUTY.--Men love beautiful women, for woman's beauty is
the highest type of all beauty. A handsome woman needs no diamonds, no
silks or satins; her brilliant face outshines diamonds and her form is
beautiful in calico.
2. FALSE BEAUTIFIERS.--Man's love of female beauty surpasses all other
love, and whatever artificial means are used to beautify, to a certain
extent are falsehoods which lead to distrust or dislike. Artificial
beauty is always an imitation, and never can come into competition
with the genuine. No art can successfully imitate nature.
3. TRUE KIND OF BEAUTY.--Facial beauty is only skin deep. A beautiful
form, a graceful figure, graceful movements and a kind heart are the
strongest charms in the perfection of female beauty. A brilliant face
always outshines what may be called a pretty face, for intelligence is
that queenly grace which crowns woman's influence over men. Good looks
and good and pure conduct awaken a man's love for women. A girl must
therefore be charming as well as beautiful, for a charming girl will
never become a charmless wife.
4. A GOOD FEMALE BODY.--No weakly, poor-bodied woman can draw a man's
love like a strong, well developed body. A round, plump figure with an
overflow of animal life is the woman most commonly sought, for nature
in man craves for the strong qualities in women, as the health and
life of offspring depend upon the physical qualities of wife
and mother. A good body and vigorous health, therefore, become
indispensable to female beauty.
5. BROAD HIPS.--A woman with a large pelvis gives her a superior and
significant appearance, while a narrow pelvis always indicate weak
sexuality. The other portions of the body however must be in harmony
with the size and breadth of the hips.
6. FULL BUSTS.--In the female beauty of physical development there
is nothing that can equal full breasts. It is an indication of good
health and good maternal qualities. As a face looks bad without a
nose, so the female breast, when narrow and flat, produces a bad
effect. The female breasts are the means on which a new-born child
depends for its life and growth, hence it is an essential human
instinct for men to admire those physical proportions in women which
indicate perfect motherhood. Cotton and all other false forms simply
show the value of natural ones. All false forms are easily detected,
because large natural ones will generally quiver and move at every
step, while the artificial ones will manifest no expression of life.
As woman looks so much better with artificial paddings and puffings
than she does without, therefore modern society should waive all
objections to their use. A full breast has been man's admiration
through all climes and ages, and whether this breast-loving instinct
is right or wrong, sensible or sensual, it is a fact well known to
all, that it is a great disappointment to a husband and father to see
his child brought up on a bottle. Men love full breasts, because it
promotes maternity. If, however, the breasts are abnormally large,
it indicates maternal deficiency the same as any disproportion or
extreme.
7. SMALL FEET.--Small feet and small ankles are very attractive,
because they are in harmony with a perfect female form, and men admire
perfection. Small feet and ankles indicate modesty and reserve, while
large feet and ankles indicate coarseness, physical power, authority,
predominance. Feet and ankles however must be in harmony with the
body, as small feet and small ankles on a large woman would be out of
proportion and consequently not beautiful.
8. BEAUTIFUL ARMS.--As the arm is always in proportion with the other
portions of the body, consequently a well-shaped arm, small hands and
small wrists, with full muscular development, is a charm and beauty
not inferior to the face itself, and those who have well-shaped arms
may be proud of them, because they generally keep company with a fine
bust and a fine figure.
9. INTELLIGENCE.--A mother must naturally possess intelligence, in
order to rear her children intelligently, consequently it is natural
for man to chiefly admire mental qualities in women, for utility and
practicability depend upon intelligence. Therefore a man generally
loves those charms in women which prepare her for the duties of
companionship. If a woman desires to be loved, she must cultivate her
intellectual gifts, be interesting and entertaining in society,
and practical and helpful in the home, for these are some of the
qualifications which make up the highest type of beauty.
10. PIETY AND RELIGION IN WOMEN.--Men who love home and the
companionship of their wives, love truth, honor and honesty. It is
this higher moral development that naturally leads them to admire
women of moral and religious natures. It is therefore not strange that
immoral men love moral and church-loving wives. Man naturally admires
the qualities which tend to the correct government of the home. Men
want good and pure children, and it is natural to select women who
insure domestic contentment and happiness. A bad man, of course, does
not deserve a good wife, yet he will do his utmost to get one.
11. FALSE APPEARANCE.--Men love reserved, coy and discreet women much
more than blunt, shrewd and boisterous. Falsehood, false hair, false
curls, false forms, false bosoms, false colors, false cheeks, and all
that is false, men naturally dislike, for in themselves they are a
poor foundation on which to form family ties, consequently duplicity
and hypocrisy in women is very much disliked by men, but a frank,
honest, conscientious soul is always lovable and lovely and will not
become an old maid, except as a matter of choice and not of necessity.
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
* * * * *
HISTORY OF MARRIAGE.
1. "It is not good for man to be alone," was the Divine judgment, and
so God created for him an helpmate; therefore sex is as Divine as the
soul.
2. POLYGAMY.--Polygamy has existed in all ages. It is and always has
been the result of moral degradation and wantonness.
3. THE GARDEN OF EDEN.--The Garden of Eden was no harem. Primeval
nature knew no community of love; there was only the union of two
souls, and the twain were made one flesh. If God had intended man to
be a polygamist he would have created for him two or more wives; but
he only created one wife for the first man. He also directed Noah
to take into the ark two of each sort--a male and female--another
evidence that God believed in pairs only.
4. ABRAHAM no doubt was a polygamist, and the general history of
patriarchal life shows that the plurality of wives and concubinage
were national customs, and not the institutions authorized by God.
5. EGYPTIAN HISTORY.--Egyptian history, in the first ostensible form
we have, shows that concubinage and polygamy were in common practice.
6. SOLOMON.--It is not strange that Solomon, with his thousand wives,
exclaimed: "All is vanity and vexation of spirit." Polygamy is not the
natural state of man.
7. CONCUBINAGE AND POLYGAMY continued till the fifth century, when
the degraded condition of woman became to some extent matters of some
concern and recognition. Before this woman was regarded simply as an
instrument of procreation, or a mistress of the household, to gratify
the passions of man.
8. THE CHINESE marriage system was, and is, practically polygamous,
for from their earliest traditions we learn, although a man could
have but one wife, he was permitted to have as many concubines as he
desired.
9. MOHAMMEDANISM.--Of the 150,000,000 Mohammedans all are polygamists.
Their religion appeals to the luxury of animal propensities, and the
voluptuous character of the Orientals has penetrated western Europe
and Africa.
10. MORMONISM.--The Mormon Church, founded by Joseph Smith, practiced
polygamy until the beginning of 1893, when the church formally
declared and resigned polygamy as a part or present doctrine of their
religious institution. Yet all Mormons are polygamists at heart. It is
a part of their religion; national law alone restrains them.
11. FREE LOVERS.--There is located at Lenox, Madison County, New York,
an organization popularly known as Free Lovers. The members advocate
a system of complex marriage, a sort of promiscuity, with a freedom
of love for any and all. Man offers woman support and love;
woman enjoying freedom, self-respect, health, personal and mental
competency, gives herself to man in the boundless sincerity of
an unselfish union. In their system, love is made synonymous with
sexuality, and there is no doubt, but what woman is only a plaything
to gratify animal caprice.
12. MONOGAMY (SINGLE WIFE), is a law of nature evident from the fact
that it fulfills the three essential conditions of man, viz.:
the development of the individual, the welfare of society and
reproduction. In no nation with a system of polygamy do we find a code
of political and moral rights, and the condition of woman is that of
a slave. In polygamous countries nothing is added to the education and
civilization. The natural tendency is sensualism, and sensualism tends
to mental starvation.
18. CHRISTIAN CIVILIZATION has lifted woman from slavery to liberty.
Wherever Christian civilization prevails there are legal marriages,
pure homes and education. May God bless the purity of the home.
* * * * *
MARRIAGE.
"Thus grief still treads upon the heel of pleasure,
Married in haste we may repent at leisure."
--SHAKESPEARE
The parties are wedded. The priest or clergyman has pronounced as one
those hearts that before beat in unison with each other. The assembled
guests congratulate the happy pair. The fair bride has left her dear
mother bedewed with tears and sobbing just as if her heart would
break, and as if the happy bridegroom was leading her away captive
against her will. They enter the carriage. It drives off on the
wedding tour, and his arms encircles the yielding waist of her now
all his own, while her head reclines on the breast of the man of her
choice. If she be young and has married an old man, she will be sad.
If she has married for a home, or position, or wealth, a pang
will shoot across her fair bosom. If she has married without due
consideration or on too light an acquaintance, it will be her sorrow
before long. But, if loving and beloved, she has united her destiny
with a worthy man, she will rejoice, and on her journey feel a glow
of satisfaction and delight unfelt before and which will be often
renewed, and daily prove as the living waters from some perennial
spring.
[Illustration]
* * * * *
THE ADVANTAGES OF WEDLOCK.
'Tis sweet to hear the watch-dog's honest bark,
Bay deep-mouthed welcome as we draw near home
'Tis sweet to know there is an eye will mark
Our coming, and look brighter when we come.
BYRON, DON JUAN
1. Marriage is the natural state of man and woman. Matrimony greatly
contributes to the wealth and health of man.
2. Circumstances may compel a man not to select a companion until late
in life. Many may have parents or relatives, dependent brothers and
sisters to care for, yet family ties are cultivated; notwithstanding
the home is without a wife.
3. In Christian countries the laws of marriage have greatly added to
the health of man. Marriage in barbarous countries, where little or no
marriage ceremonies are required, benefits man but little. There
can be no true domestic blessedness without loyalty and love for the
select and married companion. All the licentiousness and lust of a
libertine, whether civilized or uncivilized, bring him only unrest and
premature decay.
4. A man, however, may be married and not mated, and consequently reap
trouble and unhappiness. A young couple should first carefully
learn each other by making the courtship a matter of business, and
sufficiently long that the disposition and temper of each may be
thoroughly exposed and understood.
5. First see that there is love; secondly, that there is adaptation;
thirdly, see that there are no physical defects, and if these
conditions are properly considered, cupid will go with you.
6. The happiest place on all earth is home. A loving wife and lovely
children are jewels without price, as Payne says:
"'Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam.
Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home."
7. Reciprocated love produces a general exhilaration of the system.
The elasticity of the muscles is increased, the circulation is
quickened, and every bodily function is stimulated to renewed activity
by a happy marriage.
8. The consummation desired by all who experience this affection, is
the union of souls in a true marriage. Whatever of beauty or
romance there may have been in the lover's dream, is enhanced and
spiritualized in the intimate communion of married life. The crown of
wifehood and maternity is purer, more divine than that of the maiden.
Passion is lost--emotions predominate.
9. TOO EARLY MARRIAGES.--Too early marriage is always bad for the
female. If a young girl marries, her system is weakened and a full
development of her body is prevented, and the dangers of confinement
are considerably increased.
10. Boys who marry young derive but little enjoyment from the
connubial state. They are liable to excesses and thereby lose much of
the vitality and power of strength and physical endurance.
11. LONG LIFE.--Statistics show that married men live longer than
bachelors. Child-bearing for women is conducive to longevity.
12. COMPLEXION.--Marriage purifies the complexion, removes blotches
from the skin, invigorates the body, fills up the tones of the voice,
gives elasticity and firmness to the step, and brings health and
contentment to old age.
13. TEMPTATIONS REMOVED.--Marriage sanctifies a home, while adultery
and libertinism produce unrest, distrust and misery. It must
be remembered that a married man can practice the most absolute
continence and enjoy a far better state of health than the licentious
man. The comforts of companionship develop purity and give rest to the
soul.
14. TOTAL ABSTENTION.--It is no doubt difficult for some men to fully
abstain from sexual intercourse and be entirely chaste in mind.
The great majority of men experience frequent strong sexual desire.
Abstention is very apt to produce in their minds voluptuous images and
untamable desires which require an iron will to banish or control. The
hermit in his seclusion, or the monk in his retreat, are often flushed
with these passions and trials. It is, however, natural; for remove
these passions and man would be no longer a man. It is evident that
the natural state of man is that of marriage; and he who avoids that
state is not in harmony with the laws of his being.
[Illustration: AN ALGERIAN BRIDE.]
15. PROSTITUTION.--Men who inherit strong passions easily argue
themselves into the belief either to practice masturbation or visit
places of prostitution, on the ground that their health demands it.
Though medical investigation has proven it repeatedly to be false, yet
many believe it. The consummation of marriage involves the mightiest
issues of life and is the most holy and sacred right recognized by
man, and it is the Balm of Gilead for many ills. Masturbation or
prostitution soon blight the brightest prospects a young man may have.
Manhood is morality and purity of purpose, not sensuality.
* * * * *
DISADVANTAGES OF CELIBACY.
1. To live the life of a bachelor has many advantages and many
disadvantages. The man who commits neither fornication, adultery nor
secret vice, and is pure in mind, surely has all the moral virtues
that make a good man and a good citizen, whether married or unmarried.
2. If a good pure-minded man does not marry, he will suffer no serious
loss of vital power; there will be no tendency to spermatorrhoea or
congestion, nor will he be afflicted with any one of those ills which
certain vicious writers and quacks would lead many people to believe.
Celibacy is perfectly consistent with mental vigor and physical
strength. Regularity in the habits of life will always have its good
effects on the human body.
3. The average life of a married man is much longer than that of a
bachelor. There is quite an alarming odds in the United States in
favor of a man with a family. It is claimed that the married man lives
on an average from five to twenty years longer than a bachelor. The
married man lives a more regular life. He has his meals more regularly
and is better nursed in sickness, and in every way a happier and more
contented man. The happiness of wife and children will always add
comfort and length of days to the man who is happily married.
4. It is a fact well answered by statistics that there is more crime
committed, more vices practiced, and more immorality among single
men than among married men. Let the young man be pure in heart like
Bunyan's Pilgrim, and he can pass the deadly dens, the roaring lions,
and overcome the ravenous fires of passion, unscathed. The vices of
single men support the most flagrant of evils of modern society,
hence let every young man beware and keep his body clean and pure. His
future happiness largely depends upon his chastity while a single man.
[Illustration: "MADE IN U.S.A."]
[Illustration: I WILL NEVER MARRY.]
* * * * *
OLD MAIDS.
1. MODERN ORIGIN.--The prejudice which certainly still exists in the
average mind against unmarried women must be of comparatively
modern origin. From the earliest ages to ancient Greece, and Rome
particularly, the highest honors were paid them. They were the
ministers of the old religions, and regarded with superstitious awe.
2. MATRIMONY.--Since the reformation, especially during the last
century, and in our own land, matrimony has been so much esteemed,
notably by women, that it has come to be regarded as in some sort
discreditable for them to remain single. Old maids are mentioned on
every hand with mingled pity and disdain, arising no doubt from the
belief, conscious or unconscious, that they would not be what they
are if they could help it. Few persons have a good word for them as
a class. We are constantly hearing of lovely maidens, charming wives,
buxom widows, but almost never of attractive old maids.
3. DISCARDING PREJUDICE.--The real old maid is like any other woman.
She has faults necessarily, though not those commonly conceived
of. She is often plump, pretty, amiable, interesting, intellectual,
cultured, warm-hearted, benevolent, and has ardent friends of both
sexes. These constantly wonder why she has not married, for they feel
that she must have had many opportunities. Some of them may know why;
she may have made them her confidantes. She usually has a sentimental,
romantic, frequently a sad and pathetic past, of which she does not
speak unless in the sacredness of intimacy.
4. NOT QUARRELSOME.--She is not dissatisfied, querulous nor envious.
On the contrary, she is, for the most part, singularly content,
patient and serene,--more so than many wives who have household duties
and domestic cares to tire and trouble them.
5. REMAIN SINGLE FROM NECESSITY.--It is a stupid, as well as a heinous
mistake, that women who remain single do so from necessity. Almost
any woman can get a husband if she is so minded, as daily observation
attests. When we see the multitudes of wives who have no visible signs
of matrimonial recommendation, why should we think that old maids have
been totally neglected? We may meet those who do not look inviting.
But we meet any number of wives who are even less inviting.
6. FIRST OFFER.--The appearance and outgiving of many wives denote
that they have accepted the first offer; the appearance and outgiving
of many old maids that they have declined repeated offers. It is
undeniable, that wives, in the mass, have no more charm than old maids
have, in the mass. But, as the majority of women are married, they are
no more criticised nor commented on, in the bulk, than the whole sex
are. They are spoken of individually as pretty or plain, bright or
dull, pleasant or unpleasant; while old maids are judged as a species,
and almost always unfavorable.
[Illustration: "I HAVE CHANGED MY MIND."]
7. BECOMES A WIFE.--Many an old maid, so-called, unexpectedly to her
associates becomes a wife, some man of taste, discernment and sympathy
having induced her to change her state. Probably no other man of his
kind has proposed before, which accounts for her singleness. After her
marriage hundreds of persons who had sneered at her condition find her
charming, thus showing the extent of their prejudice against feminine
celibacy. Old maids in general, it is fair to presume, do not wait for
opportunities, but for proposers of an acceptable sort. They may have,
indeed they are likely to have, those, but not to meet these.
8. NO LONGER MARRY FOR SUPPORT.--The time has changed and women have
changed with it. They have grown more sensible, more independent
in disposition as well as circumstances. They no longer marry for
support; they have proved their capacity to support themselves, and
self-support has developed them in every way. Assured that they can
get on comfortably and contentedly alone they are better adapted by
the assurance for consortship. They have rapidly increased from this
and cognate causes, and have so improved in person, mind and character
that an old maid of to-day is wholly different from an old maid of
forty years ago.
[Illustration: CONVINCING HIS WIFE.]
* * * * *
WHEN AND WHOM TO MARRY.
1. EARLY MARRIAGES.--Women too early married always remain small in
stature, weak, pale, emaciated, and more or less miserable. We have
no natural nor moral right to perpetuate unhealthy constitutions,
therefore women should not marry too young and take upon themselves
the responsibility, by producing a weak and feeble generation of
children. It is better not to consummate a marriage until a full
development of body and mind has taken place. A young woman of
twenty-one to twenty-five, and a young man of twenty-three to
twenty-eight, are considered the right age in order to produce an
intelligent and healthy offspring. "First make the tree good, then
shall the fruit be good also."
2. If marriage is delayed too long in either sex, say from thirty
to forty-five, the offspring will often be puny and more liable to
insanity, idiocy, and other maladies.
3. PUBERTY.--This is the period when childhood passes from immaturity
of the sexual functions to maturity. Woman attains this state a year
or two sooner than man. In the hotter climates the period of puberty
is from twelve to fifteen years of age, while in cold climates,
such as Russia, the United States, and Canada, puberty is frequently
delayed until the seventeenth year.
4. DISEASED PARENTS.--We do the race a serious wrong in multiplying
the number of hereditary invalids. Whole families of children have
fallen heir to lives of misery and suffering by the indiscretion and
poor judgment of parents. No young man in the vigor of health
should think for a moment of marrying a girl who has the impress
of consumption or other disease already stamped upon her feeble
constitution. It only multiplies his own suffering, and brings no
material happiness to his invalid wife. On the other hand, no healthy,
vigorous young woman ought to unite her destiny with a man, no matter
how much she adored him, who is not healthy and able to brave the
hardships of life. If a young man or young woman with feeble body
cannot find permanent relief either by medicine or change of climate,
no thoughts of marriage should be entertained. Courting a patient may
be pleasant, but a hard thing in married life to enjoy. The young lady
who supposes that any young man wishes to marry her for the sake of
nursing her through life makes a very grave mistake.
[Illustration: LIFE INSURANCE COMPANIES DEMAND PHYSICAL EXAMINATION.
WHY NOT MATRIMONY?]
5. WHOM TO CHOOSE FOR A HUSBAND.--The choice of a husband requires the
coolest judgment and the most vigilant sagacity. A true union based on
organic law is happiness, but let all remember that oil and water
will not mix: the lion will not lie down with the lamb, nor can
ill-assorted marriages be productive of aught but discord.
"Let the woman take
An elder than herself, so wears she to him--
So sways she, rules in her husband's heart."
Look carefully at the disposition.--See that your intended Spouse is
kind-hearted, generous, and willing to respect the opinions of others,
though not in sympathy with them. Don't marry a selfish tyrant who
thinks only of himself.
6. BE CAREFUL.--Don't marry an intemperate man with a view of
reforming him. Thousands have tried it and failed. Misery, sorrow
and a very hell on earth have been the consequences of too many such
generous undertakings.
7. THE TRUE AND ONLY TEST which any man should look for in woman is
modesty in demeanor before marriage, absence both of assumed ignorance
and disagreeable familiarity, and a pure and religious frame of mind.
Where these are present, he need not doubt that he has a faithful and
a chaste wife.
8. MARRYING FIRST COUSINS is dangerous to offspring. The observation
is universal, the children of married first cousins are too often
idiots, insane, clump-footed, crippled, blind, or variously diseased.
First cousins are always sure to impart all the hereditary disease
in both families to their children. If both are healthy there is less
danger.
9. DO NOT CHOOSE ONE TOO GOOD, or too far above you, lest the inferior
dissatisfying the superior, breed those discords which are worse than
the trials of a single life. Don't be too particular; for you might go
farther and fare worse. As far as you yourself are faulty, you should
put up with faults. Don't cheat a consort by getting one much better
than you can give. We are not in heaven yet, and must put up with
their imperfections, and instead of grumbling at them, be glad they
are no worse; remembering that a faulty one is a great deal better
than none, if he loves you.
10. MARRYING FOR MONEY.--Those who seek only the society of those who
can boast of wealth will nine times out of ten suffer disappointment.
Wealth cannot manufacture true love nor money buy domestic happiness.
Marry because you love each other, and God will bless your home. A
cottage with a loving wife is worth more than a royal palace with a
discontented and unloving queen.
11. DIFFERENCE IN AGE.--It is generally admitted that the husband
should be a few years older than the wife. The question seems to
be how much difference. Up to twenty-two those who propose marriage
should be about the same age; however, other things being equal, a
difference of fifteen years after the younger is twenty-five, need
not prevent a marriage. A man of forty-five may marry a woman of
twenty-five much more safely than one of thirty a girl below nineteen,
because her mental sexuality is not as mature as his, and again her
natural coyness requires more delicate and affectionate treatment than
he is likely to bestow. A girl of twenty or under should seldom if
ever marry a man of thirty or over, because the love of an elderly man
for a girl is more parental than conjugal; while hers for him is like
that of a daughter to a father. He may pet, flatter and indulge her
as he would a grown-up daughter, yet all this is not genuine masculine
and feminine love, nor can she exert over him the influence every man
requires from his wife.
12. THE BEST TIME.--All things considered, we advise the male reader
to keep his desires in check till he is at least twenty-five, and the
female not to enter the pale of wedlock until she has attained the
age of twenty. After those periods, marriage is the proper sphere of
action, and one in which nearly every individual is called by nature
to play his proper part.
13. SELECT CAREFULLY.--While character, health, accomplishments and
social position should be considered, yet one must not overlook mental
construction and physical conformation. The rule always to be followed
in choosing a life partner is _identity of taste and diversity of
temperament_. Another essential is that they be physically adapted
to each other. For example: The pelvis--that part of the anatomy
containing all the internal organs of gestation--is not only essential
to beauty and symmetry, but is a matter of vital importance to her
who contemplates matrimony, and its usual consequences. Therefore, the
woman with a very narrow and contracted pelvis should never choose a
man of giant physical development lest they cannot duly realize the
most important of the enjoyments of the marriage state, while the
birth of large infants will impose upon her intense labor pains, or
even cost her her life.
[Illustration: EXPLAINING THE NEED OF A NEW HAT.]
* * * * *
CHOOSE INTELLECTUALLY--LOVE AFTERWARD.
1. LOVE.--Let it ever be remembered that love is one of the most
sacred elements of our nature, and the most dangerous with which
to tamper. It is a very beautiful and delicately contrived faculty,
producing the most delightful results, but easily thrown out of
repair--like a tender plant, the delicate fibers of which incline
gradually to entwine themselves around its beloved one, uniting two
willing hearts by a thousand endearing ties, and making of "twain one
flesh": but they are easily torn asunder, and then adieu to the joys
of connubial bliss!
2. COURTING BY THE QUARTER.--This courting by the quarter, "here a
little and there a little," is one of the greatest evils of the day.
This getting a little in love with Julia, and then a little with
Eliza, and a little more with Mary,--this fashionable flirtation
and coquetry of both sexes--is ruinous to the domestic affections;
besides, effectually preventing the formation of true connubial love.
I consider this dissipation of the affections one of the greatest
sins against Heaven, ourselves, and the one trifled with, that can be
committed.
3. FRITTERING AWAY AFFECTIONS.--Young men commence courting long
before they think of marrying, and where they entertain no thoughts of
marriage. They fritter away their own affections, and pride themselves
on their conquests over the female heart; triumphing in having so
nicely fooled them. They pursue this sinful course so far as to drive
their pitiable victims, one after another, from respectable society,
who, becoming disgraced, retaliate by heaping upon them all the
indignities and impositions which the fertile imagination of woman can
invent or execute.
4. COURTING WITHOUT INTENDING TO MARRY.--Nearly all this wide-spread
crime and suffering connected with public and private licentiousness
and prostitution, has its origin in these unmeaning courtships--this
premature love--this blighting of the affections, and every young
man who courts without intending to marry, is throwing himself or his
sweet-heart into _this hell upon earth._ And most of the blame rests
on young men, because they take the liberty of paying their addresses
to the ladies and discontinuing them, at pleasure, and thereby mainly
cause this vice.
5. SETTING THEIR CAPS.--True, young ladies sometimes "set their caps,"
sometimes court very hard by their bewitching smiles and affectionate
manners; by the natural language of love, or that backward reclining
and affectionate roll of the head which expresses it; by their soft
and persuasive accents; by their low dresses, artificial forms,
and many other unnatural and affected ways and means of attracting
attention and exciting love; but women never court till they have been
in love and experienced its interruption, till their first and most
tender fibres of love have been frost-bitten by disappointment. It is
surely a sad condition of society.
[Illustration: MOTHERHOOD.]
6. TRAMPLING THE AFFECTIONS OF WOMEN.--But man is a self-privileged
character. He may not only violate the laws of his own social nature
with impunity, but he may even trample upon the affections of woman.
He may even carry this sinful indulgence to almost any length, and yet
be caressed and smiled tenderly upon by woman; aye, even by virtuous
woman. He may call out, only to blast the glowing affections of one
young lady after another, and yet his addresses be cordially welcomed
by others. Surely a gentleman is at perfect liberty to pay his
addresses, not only to a lady, but even to the ladies, although he
does not once entertain the thought of marrying his sweet-heart, or,
rather his victim. O, man, how depraved! O, woman, how strangely blind
to your own rights and interests!
7. AN INFALLIBLE SIGN.--An infallible sign that a young man's
intentions are improper, is his trying to excite your passions. If he
loves you, he will never appeal to that feeling, because he respects
you too much for that. And the woman who allows a man to take
advantage of her just to compel him to marry her, is lost and
heartless in the last degree, and utterly destitute of moral principle
as well as virtue. A woman's riches is her virtue, that gone she has
lost all.
8. THE BEGINNING OF LICENTIOUSNESS.--Man it seldom drives from
society. Do what he may, woman, aye, virtuous and even pious woman
rarely excludes him from her list of visitors. But where is the point
of propriety?--immoral transgression should exclude either sex from
respectable society. Is it that one false step which now constitutes
the boundary between virtue and vice? Or rather, the discovery of that
false step? Certainly not! but it is all that leads to, and precedes
and induces it. It is this courting without marrying. This is the
beginning of licentiousness, as well as its main, procuring cause, and
therefore infinitely worse than its consummation merely.
9. SEARING THE SOCIAL AFFECTIONS.--He has seared his social affections
so deeply, so thoroughly, so effectually, that when, at last, he
wishes to marry, he is incapable of loving. He marries, but is
necessarily cold-hearted towards his wife, which of course renders her
wretched, if not jealous, and reverses the faculties of both towards
each other; making both most miserable for life. This induces
contention and mutual recrimination, if not unfaithfulness, and
imbitters the marriage relations through life; and well it may.
10. UNHAPPY MARRIAGES.--This very cause, besides inducing most of that
unblushing public and private prostitution already alluded to, renders
a large proportion of the marriages of the present day unhappy. Good
people mourn over the result, but do not once dream of its cause. They
even pray for moral reform, yet do the very things that increase the
evil.
11. WEEPING OVER HER FALLEN SON.--Do you see yonder godly mother,
weeping over her fallen son, and remonstrating with him in tones of a
mother's tenderness and importunity? That very mother prevented that
very son marrying the girl he dearly loved, because she was poor, and
this interruption of his love was the direct and procuring cause of
his ruin; for, if she had allowed him to marry this beloved one, he
never would have thought of giving his "strength unto strange
women." True, the mother ruined her son ignorantly, but none the less
effectually.
12. SEDUCTION AND RUIN.--That son next courts another virtuous
fair one, engages her affections, and ruins her, or else leaves her
broken-hearted, so that she is the more easily ruined by others, and
thus prepares the way for her becoming an inmate of a house "whose
steps take hold on hell." His heart is now indifferent, he is ready
for anything.
13. THE RIGHT PRINCIPLE.--I say then, with emphasis, that no man
should ever pay his addresses to any woman, until he has made his
selection, not even to aid him in making that choice. He should first
make his selection intellectually, and love afterward. He should go
about the matter coolly and with judgment, just as he would undertake
any other important matter. No man or woman, when blinded by love, is
in a fit state to judge advantageously as to what he or she requires,
or who is adapted to his or her wants.
14. CHOOSING FIRST AND LOVING AFTERWARDS.--I know, indeed, that this
doctrine of choosing first and loving afterward, of excluding love
from the councils, and of choosing by and with the consent of the
intellect and moral sentiments, is entirely at variance with the
feelings of the young and the customs of society; but, for its
correctness, I appeal to the common-sense--not to the experience, for
so few try this plan. Is not this the only proper method, and the one
most likely to result happily? Try it.
15. THE YOUNG WOMAN'S CAUTION.--And, especially, let no young lady
ever once think of bestowing her affections till she is certain they
will not be broken off--that is, until the match is fully agreed upon,
but rather let her keep her heart whole till she bestows it for life.
This requisition is as much more important, and its violation as much
more disastrous to woman than to man, as her social faculties are
stronger than his.
16. A BURNT CHILD DREADS THE FIRE.--As a "burnt child dreads the
fire," and the more it is burnt, the greater the dread: so your
affections, once interrupted, will recoil from a second love, and
distrust all mankind. No! you cannot be too choice of your love--that
pivot on which turn your destinies for life and future happiness.
[Illustration: AFTER THE ENGAGEMENT.]
* * * * *
LOVE-SPATS.
Could ever hear by tale or history,
The course of true love never did run smooth.
--SHAKESPEARE.
"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned,
Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."--CONGREVE.
"Thunderstorms clear the atmosphere and promote vegetation; then why
not Love-spats promote love, as they certainly often do?"
"They are almost universal, and in the nature of our differences
cannot be helped. The more two love, the more they are aggrieved by
each other's faults; of which these spats are but the correction."
"Love-spats instead of being universal, they are consequent on
imperfect love, and only aggravate, never correct errors. Sexual
storms never improve, whereas love obviates faults by praising the
opposite virtues. Every view of them, practical and philosophical,
condemns them as being to love what poison is to health, both before
and after marriage. They are nothing but married discords. Every law
of mind and love condemns them. Shun them as you would deadly vipers,
and prevent them by forestallment."--O.S. Fowler.
1. THE TRUE FACTS.--Notwithstanding some of the above quotations, to
the contrary, trouble and disagreement between lovers embitters
both love and life. Contention is always dangerous, and will beget
alienation if not final separation.
2. CONFIRMED AFFECTIONS.--Where affections are once thoroughly
confirmed, each one should be very careful in taking offense, and
avoid all disagreements as far as possible, but if disagreements
continually develop with more or less friction and irritation, it is
better for the crisis to come and a final separation take place. For
peace is better than disunited love.
3. HATE-SPATS.--Hate-spats, though experienced by most lovers, yet,
few realize how fatal they are to subsequent affections. Love-spats
develop into hate-spats, and their effects upon the affections are
blighting and should not under any circumstances be tolerated. Either
agree, or agree to disagree. If there cannot be harmony before the
ties of marriage are assumed, then there cannot be harmony after.
Married life will be continually marred by a series of "hate-spats"
that sooner or later will destroy all happiness, unless the couple are
reasonably well mated.
[Illustration: HOME LOVING HEARTS ARE HAPPIEST.]
4. MORE FATAL THE OFTENER THEY OCCUR.--As O.S. Fowler says: "'The
poison of asps is under their lips.' The first spat is like a deep
gash cut into a beautiful face, rendering it ghastly, and leaving
a fearful scar, which neither time nor cosmetics can ever efface;
including that pain so fatal to love, and blotting that sacred
love-page with memory's most hideous and imperishable visages. Cannot
many now unhappy remember them as the beginning of that alienation
which embittered your subsequent affectional cup, spoiled your lives?
With what inherent repulsion do you look back upon them? Their memory
is horrid, and effect on love most destructive."
5. FATAL CONDITIONS.--What are all lovers' "spats" but disappointment
in its very worst form? They necessarily and always produce all its
terrible consequences. The finer feelings and sensibilities will soon
become destroyed and nothing but hatred will remain.
6. EXTREME SORROW.--After a serious "spat" there generally follows a
period of tender sorrow, and a feeling of humiliation and submission.
Mutual promises are consequently made that such a condition of things
shall never happen again, etc. But be sure and remember, that every
subsequent difficulty will require stronger efforts to repair the
breach. Let it be understood that these compromises are dangerous, and
every new difficulty increases their fatality. Even the strongest will
endure but few, nor survive many.
7. DISTRUST AND WANT OF CONFIDENCE.--Most difficulties arise from
distrust or lack of confidence or common-sense. When two lovers eye
each other like two curs, each watching, lest the other should gain
some new advantage, then this shows a lack of common-sense, and the
young couple should get sensible or separate.
8. JEALOUSY.--When one of the lovers, once so tender, now all at
once so cold and hardened; once so coy and familiar now suddenly
so reserved, distant, hard and austere, is always a sure case of
jealousy. A jealous person is first talkative, very affectionate, and
then all at once changes and becomes cold, reserved and repulsive,
apparently without cause. If a person is jealous before marriage, this
characteristic will be increased rather than diminished by marriage.
9. CONFESSION.--If you make up by confession, the confessor feels
mean and disgraced; or if both confess and forgive, both feel humbled;
since forgiveness implies inferiority and pity; from which whatever
is manly and womanly shrinks. Still even this is better than continued
"spats."
10. PREVENTION.--If you can get along well in your courtship you will
invariably make a happy couple if you should unite your destinies in
marriage. Learn not to give nor take offence. You must remember that
all humanity is imperfect at best. We all have our faults, and must
keep them in subordination. Those who truly love each other will have
but few difficulties in their courtship or in married life.
11. REMEDIES.--Establishing a perfect love in the beginning
constitutes a preventive. Fear that they are not truly loved usually
paves the way for "spats." Let all who make any pretension guard
against all beginnings of this reversal, and strangle these
"hate-spats" the moment they arise. "Let not the sun go down upon thy
wrath," not even an hour, but let the next sentence after they begin
quench them forever. And let those who cannot court without "spats,"
stop; for those who spat before marriage must quarrel after.
[Illustration: "LET NOT THE SUN GO DOWN UPON THY WRATH".]
[Illustration: ALONE AND FORSAKEN.]
* * * * *
A BROKEN HEART.
1. WOUNDED LOVE.--'Tis true that love wields a magic, sovereign,
absolute, and tyrannical power over both the body and the mind when it
is given control. It often, in case of dissapointment, works havoc
and deals death blows to its victims, and leaves many in that morbid
mental condition which no life-tonics simply can restore. Wounded love
may be the result of hasty and indiscreet conduct of young people;
or the outgrowth of lust, or the result of domestic infidelity and
discord.
2. FATAL EFFECTS.--Our cemeteries receive within the cold shadows of
the grave thousands and thousands of victims that annually die from
the results of "broken hearts." It is no doubt a fact that love
troubles cause more disorders of the heart than everything else
combined.
3. DISRUPTED LOVE.--It has long been known that dogs, birds, and even
horses, when separated from their companions or friends, have pined
away and died; so it is not strange that man with his higher intuitive
ideas of affection should suffer from love when suddenly disrupted.
4. CRUCIFYING LOVE.--Painful love feelings strike right to the heart,
and the breaking up of love that cannot be consummated in marriage is
sometimes allowed to crucify the affections. There is no doubt that
the suffering from disappointed love is often deeper and more intense
than meeting death itself.
5. HEALING.--The paralyzing and agonizing consequences of ruptured love
can only be remedied by diversion and society. Bring the mind into a
state of patriotic independence with a full determination to blot
out the past. Those who cannot bring into subordination the pangs of
disappointment in love are not strong characters, and invariably
will suffer disappointments in almost every department of life.
Disappointment in love means rising above it, and conquering it, or
demoralization, mental, physical and sexual.
6. LOVE RUNS MAD.--Love comes unbidden. A blind ungovernable impulse
seems to hold sway in the passions of the affections. Love is blind
and seems to completely subdue and conquer. It often comes like a clap
of thunder from a clear sky, and when it falls it falls flat, leaving
only the ruins of a tornado behind.
7. BAD, DISMAL, AND BLUE FEELINGS.--Despondency breathes disease,
and those who yield to it can neither work, eat nor sleep; they only
suffer. The spell-bound, fascinated, magnetized affections seem to
deaden self-control and no doubt many suffering from love-sickness are
totally helpless; they are beside themselves, irritational and wild.
Men and women of genius, influence and education, all seem to suffer
alike, but they do not yield alike to the subduing influence; some
pine away and die; others rise above it, and are the stronger and
better for having been afflicted.
8. RISE ABOVE IT.--Cheer up! If you cannot think pleasurably over
your misfortune, forget it. You must do this or perish. Your power
and influence is too much to blight by foolish and melancholic pining.
Your own sense, your self-respect, your self-love, your love for
others, command you not to spoil yourself by crying over "spilt milk."
9. RETRIEVE YOUR PAST LOSS.--Do sun, moon, and stars indeed rise and
set in your loved one? Are there not "as good fish in the sea as ever
were caught?" and can you not catch them? Are there not other hearts
on earth just as loving and lovely, and in every way as congenial; If
circumstances had first turned you upon another, you would have felt
about that one as now about this. Love depends far less on the party
loved than on the loving one. Or is this the way either to retrieve
your past loss, or provide for the future? Is it not both unwise and
self-destructive; and in every way calculated to render your case,
present and prospective, still more hopeless?
10. FIND SOMETHING TO DO.--Idle hands are Satan's workshop. Employ
your mind; find something to do; something in which you can find
self-improvement; something that will fit you better to be admired
by someone else, read, and improve your mind; get into society, throw
your whole soul into some new enterprise, and you will conquer with
glory and come out of the fire purified and made more worthy.
11. LOVE AGAIN.--As love was the cause of your suffering, so love again
will restore you, and you will love better and more consistently. Do
not allow yourself to become soured and detest and shun association.
Rebuild your dilapidated sexuality by cultivating a general
appreciation of the excellence, especially of the mental and moral
qualities of the opposite sex. Conquer your prejudices, and vow not to
allow anyone to annoy or disturb your calmness.
12. LOVE FOR THE DEAD.--A most affectionate woman, who continues to
love her affianced though long dead, instead of becoming soured
or deadened, manifests all the richness and sweetness of the
fully-developed woman thoroughly in love, along with a softened,
mellow, twilight sadness which touches every heart, yet throws a
peculiar lustre and beauty over her manners and entire character. She
must mourn, but not forever. It is not her duty to herself or to her
Creator.
13. A SURE REMEDY.--Come in contact with the other sex. You are
infused with your lover's magnetism, which must remain till displaced
by another's. Go to parties and picnics; be free, familiar, offhand,
even forward; try your knack at fascinating another, and yield to
fascinations yourself. But be honest, command respect, and make
yourself attractive and worthy.
[Illustration: A SURE REMEDY.]
* * * * *
FORMER CUSTOMS AND PECULIARITIES AMONG MEN.
1. POLYGAMY.--There is a wide difference as regards the relations of
the sexes in different parts of the world. In some parts polygamy has
prevailed from time immemorial.
Most savage people are polygamists, and the Turks, though slowly
departing from the practice, still allow themselves a plurality of
wives.
2. RULE REVERSED.--In Thibet the rule is reversed, and the females are
provided with two or more husbands. It is said that in many instances
a whole family of brothers have but one wife. The custom has at
least one advantageous feature, viz.: the possibility of leaving an
unprotected widow and a number of fatherless children is entirely
obviated.
3. THE MORGANATIC MARRIAGE is a modification of polygamy. It sometimes
occurs among the royalty of Europe, and is regarded as perfectly
legitimate, but the morganatic wife is of lower rank than her royal
husband, and her children do not inherit his rank or fortune. The
Queen only is the consort of the sovereign, and entitled to share his
rank.
4. DIFFERENT MANNERS OF OBTAINING WIVES.--Among the uncivilized almost
any envied possession is taken by brute force or superior strength.
The same is true in obtaining a wife. The strong take precedence of
the weak. It is said that among the North American Indians it was the
custom for men to wrestle for the choice of women. A weak man could
seldom retain a wife that a strong man coveted.
The law of contest was not confined to individuals alone. Women were
frequently the cause of whole tribes arraying themselves against each
other in battle. The effort to excel in physical power was a great
incentive to bodily development, and since the best of the men were
preferred by the most superior women, the custom was a good one in
this, that the race was improved.
5. THE ABORIGINAL AUSTRALIAN employed low cunning and heartless
cruelty in obtaining his wife. Laying in ambush, with club in hand, he
would watch for the coveted woman, and, unawares, spring upon her. If
simply disabled he carried her off as his possession, but if the blow
had been hard enough to kill, he abandoned her to watch for another
victim. There is here no effort to attract or please, no contest of
strength; his courtship, if courtship it can be called, would compare
very unfavorably with any among the brute creation.
6. THE KALMUCK TARTAR races for his bride on horseback, she having
a certain start previously agreed upon. The nuptial knot consists in
catching her, but we are told that the result of the race all depends
upon whether the girl wants to be caught or not.
7. HAWAIIAN ISLANDERS.--Marriage among the early natives of these
islands was merely a matter of mutual inclination. There was no
ceremony at all, the men and women united and separated as they felt
disposed.
8. THE FEUDAL LORD, in various parts of Europe, when any of his
dependents or followers married, exercised the right of assuming the
bridegroom's proper place in the marriage couch for the first night.
Seldom was there any escape from this abominable practice. Sometimes
the husband, if wealthy, succeeded in buying off the petty sovereign
from exercising his privilege.
9. THE SPARTANS had the custom of encouraging intercourse between
their best men and women for the sake of a superior progeny, without
any reference to a marriage ceremony. Records show that the ancient
Roman husband has been known to invite a friend, in whom he may have
admired some physical or mental trait, to share the favors of his
wife; that the peculiar qualities that he admired might be repeated in
the offspring.
[Illustration]
[Illustration: PROPOSING.]
[Illustration]
Hasty marriage seldom proveth well.--_Shakespeare, Henry VI._
The reason why so few marriages are happy is, because young ladies
spend their time in making nets, not in making cages.--_Swift,
Thoughts on Various Subjects._
* * * * *
SENSIBLE HINTS IN CHOOSING A PARTNER.
1. There are many fatal errors and many love-making failures in
courtship. Natural laws govern all nature and reduce all they govern
to eternal right; therefore love naturally, not artificially. Don't
love a somebody or a nobody simply because they have money.
2. COURT SCIENTIFICALLY.--If you court at all, court scientifically.
Bungle whatever else you will, but do no bungle courtship. A failure
in this may mean more than a loss of wealth or public honors; it may
mean ruin, or a life often worse than death. The world is full of
wretched and mismated people.
BEGIN RIGHT and all will be right; begin wrong and all will end wrong.
When you court, make a business of it and study your interest the same
as you would study any other business proposition.
3. DIVORCES.--There is not a divorce on our court records that is not
the result of some fundamental error in courtship. The purity or the
power of love may be corrupted the same as any other faculty, and when
a man makes up his mind to marry and shuts his eyes and grabs in the
dark for a companion, he dishonors the woman he captures and commits a
crime against God and society. In this enlightened age there should
be comparatively few mistakes made in the selection of a suitable
partner. Sufficient time should be taken to study each other's
character and disposition. Association will soon reveal adaptability.
4. FALSE LOVE.--Many a poor, blind and infatuated novice thinks he is
desperately in love, when there is not the least genuine affection in
his nature. It is all a momentary passion a sort of puppy love; his
vows and pledges are soon violated, and in wedlock he will become
indifferent and cold to his wife and children, and he will go through
life without ambition, encouragement or success. He will be a failure.
True love speaks for itself, and the casual observer can read its
proclamations. True love does not speak in a whisper, it always makes
itself heard. The follies of flirting develops into many unhappy
marriages, and blight many a life. Man happily married has superior
advantages both social and financially.
5. FLIRTING JUST FOR FUN.--Who is the flirt, what is his reputation,
motive, or character? Every young man and woman must have a
reputation; if it is not good it is bad, there is no middle ground.
Young people who are running in the streets after dark, boisterous
and noisy in their conversation, gossiping and giggling, flirting
with first one and then another, will soon settle their matrimonial
prospects among good society. Modesty is a priceless jewel. No
sensible young man with a future will marry a flirt.
6. THE ARCH-DECEIVER.--They who win the affection simply for their own
amusement are committing a great sin for which there is no adequate
punishment. How can you shipwreck the innocent life of that confiding
maiden, how can you forget her happy looks as she drank in your
expressions of love, how can you forget her melting eyes and glowing
cheeks, her tender tone reciprocating your pretended love? Remember
that God is infinitely just, and "the soul that sinneth shall surely
die." You may dash into business, seek pleasure in the club room, and
visit gambling hells, but "Thou art the man" will ever stare you in
the face. Her pale, sad cheeks, her hollow eyes will never cease to
haunt you. Men should promote happiness, and not cause misery. Let the
savage Indians torture captives to death by the slow flaming fagot,
but let civilized man respect the tenderness and love of confiding
women. Torturing the opposite sex is double-distilled barbarity. Young
men agonizing young ladies, is the cold-blooded cruelty of devils, not
men.
7. THE RULE TO FOLLOW.--Do not continually pay your attentions to the
same lady if you have no desire to win her affections. Occasionally
escorting her to church, concert, picnic, party, etc., is perfectly
proper; but to give her your special attention, and extend invitations
to her for all places of amusements where you care to attend, is an
implied promise that you prefer her company above all others, and she
has a right to believe that your attentions are serious.
[Illustration: THE WEDDING RING.]
8. EVERY GIRL SHOULD SEAL HER HEART against all manifested affections,
unless they are accompanied by a proposal. Woman's love is her all,
and her heart should be as flint until she finds one who is worthy
of her confidence. Young woman, never bestow your affections until
by some word or deed at least you are fully justified in recognizing
sincerity and faith in him who is paying you special attention. Better
not be engaged until twenty-two. You are then more competent to judge
the honesty and falsity of man. Nature has thrown a wall of maidenly
modesty around you. Preserve that and not let your affections be
trifled with while too young by any youthful flirt who is in search of
hearts to conquer.
9. FEMALE FLIRTATION.--The young man who loves a young woman has paid
her the highest compliment in the possession of man. Perpetrate
almost any sin, inflict any other torture, but spare him the agony of
disappointment. It is a crime that can never be forgiven, and a debt
that never can be paid.
10. LOYALTY.--Young persons with serious intentions, or those who are
engaged should be thoroughly loyal to each other. If they seek freedom
with others the flame of jealousy is likely to be kindled and love is
often turned to hatred, and the severest anger of the soul is
aroused. Loyalty, faithfulness, confidence, are the three jewels to be
cherished in courtship. Don't be a flirt.
11. KISSING, FONDLING, AND CARESSING BETWEEN LOVERS.--This should
never be tolerated under any circumstances, unless there is an
engagement to justify it, and then only in a sensible and limited
way. The girl who allows a young man the privilege of kissing her or
putting his arms around her waist before engagement will at once fall
in the estimation of the man she has thus gratified and desired to
please. Privileges always injure, but never benefit.
12. IMPROPER LIBERTIES DURING COURTSHIP KILL LOVE.--Any improper
liberties which are permitted by young ladies, whether engaged or
not, will change love into sensuality, and her affections will become
obnoxious, if not repellent. Men by nature love virtue, and for a life
companion naturally shun an amorous woman. Young folks, as you
love moral purity and virtue, never reciprocate love until you
have required the right of betrothal. Remember that those who are
thoroughly in love will respect the honor and virtue of each other.
The purity of woman is doubly attractive, and sensuality in her
becomes doubly offensive and repellent. It is contrary to the laws of
nature for a man to love a harlot.
13. A SEDUCER.--The punishment of the seducer is best given by O.S.
Fowler, in his "Creative Science." The sin and punishment rest on all
you who call out only to blight a trusting, innocent, loving virgin's
affections, and then discard her. You deserve to be horsewhipped by
her father, cowhided by her brothers, branded villain by her mother,
cursed by herself, and sent to the whipping-post and dungeon.
14. CAUTION.--A young lady should never encourage the attentions of
a young man, who shows no interest in his sisters. If a young man is
indifferent to his sisters he will become indifferent to his wife as
soon as the honey moon is over. There are few if any exceptions to
this rule. The brother who will not be kind and loving in his mother's
home will make a very poor husband.
15. THE OLD RULE: "Never marry a man that does not make his mother
a Christmas present every Christmas," is a good one. The young lady
makes no mistake in uniting her destinies with the man that loves his
mother and respects his sisters and brothers.
[Illustration]
[Illustration: A CHINESE BRIDE AND GROOM.]
* * * * *
SAFE HINTS.
1. Marry in your own position in life. If there is any difference in
social position, it is better that the husband should be the superior.
A woman does not like to look down upon her husband, and to be obliged
to do so is a poor guarantee for their happiness.
2. It is best to marry persons of your own faith and religious
convictions, unless one is willing to adopt those of the other.
Difference of faith is apt to divide families, and to produce great
trouble in after life. A pious woman should beware of marrying an
irreligious man.
3. Don't be afraid of marrying a poor man or woman. Good health,
cheerful disposition, stout hearts and industrious hands will bring
happiness and comfort.
4. Bright red hair should marry jet black, and jet black auburn or
bright red, etc. And the more red-faced and bearded or impulsive a
man, the more dark, calm, cool and quiet should his wife be; and vice
versa. The florid should not marry the florid, but those who are dark,
in proportion as they themselves are light.
5. Red-whiskered men should marry brunettes, but no blondes; the color
of the whiskers being more determinate of the temperament than that of
the hair.
6. The color of the eyes is still more important. Gray eyes must marry
some other color, almost any other except gray; and so of blue, dark,
hazel, etc.
7. Those very fleshy should not marry those equally so, but those too
spare and slim; and this is doubly true of females. A spare man is
much better adapted to a fleshy woman than a round-favored man. Two
who are short, thick-set and stocky, should not unite in marriage, but
should choose those differently constituted; but on no account one of
their own make. And, in general, those predisposed to corpulence are
therefore less inclined to marriage.
8. Those with little hair or beard should marry those whose hair is
naturally abundant; still those who once had plenty, but who have lost
it, may marry those who are either bald or have but little; for in
this, as in all other cases, all depends on what one is by nature,
little on present states.
9. Those whose motive-temperament decidedly predominates, who are
bony, only moderately fleshy, quite prominent-featured, Roman-nosed
and muscular, should not marry those similarly formed.
10. Small, nervous men must not marry little, nervous or sanguine
women, lest both they and their children have quite too much of the
hot-headed and impulsive, and die suddenly.
11. Two very beautiful persons rarely do or should marry; nor two
extra homely. The fact is a little singular that very handsome women,
who of course can have their pick, rarely marry good-looking men,
but generally give preference to those who are homely; because that
exquisiteness in which beauty originates naturally blends with that
power which accompanies huge noses and disproportionate features.
[Illustration: LIGHT. LIFE. HEALTH AND BEAUTY.]
12. Rapid movers, speakers, laughers, etc., should marry those who are
calm and deliberate, and impulsives those who are stoical; while those
who are medium may marry those who are either or neither, as they
prefer.
13. Noses indicate characters by indicating the organisms and
temperaments. Accordingly, those noses especially marked either way
should marry those having opposite nasal characteristics. Roman noses
are adapted to those which turn up, and pug noses to those turning
down; while straight noses may marry either.
14. Men who love to command must be especially careful not to marry
imperious, women's-rights woman; while those who willingly "obey
orders" need just such. Some men require a wife who shall take their
part; yet all who do not need strong-willed women, should be careful
how they marry them.
15. A sensible woman should not marry an obstinate but injudicious,
unintelligent man; because she cannot long endure to see and help him
blindly follow his poor, but spurn her good, plans.
16. The reserved or secretive should marry the frank. A cunning
man cannot endure the least artifice in a wife. Those who are
non-committal must marry those who are demonstrative; else, however
much they may love, neither will feel sure as to the other's
affections, and each will distrust the other, while their children
will be deceitful.
17. A timid woman should never marry a hesitating man, lest, like
frightened children, each keep perpetually re-alarming the other by
imaginary fears.
18. An industrious, thrifty, hard-working man should marry a woman
tolerably saving and industrious. As the "almighty dollar" is now the
great motor-wheel of humanity, and that to which most husbands devote
their entire lives to delve alone is uphill work.
[Illustration]
[Illustration: FIRESIDE FANCIES.]
* * * * *
MARRIAGE SECURITIES.
1. SEEK EACH OTHER'S HAPPINESS.--A selfish marriage that seeks only
its own happiness defeats itself. Happiness is a fire that will not
burn long on one stick.
2. DO NOT MARRY SUDDENLY.--It can always be done till it is done, if
it is a proper thing to do.
3. MARRY IN YOUR OWN GRADE IN SOCIETY.--It is painful to be always
apologizing for any one. It is more painful to be apologized for.
4. DO NOT MARRY DOWNWARD.--It is hard enough to advance in the quality
of life without being loaded with clay heavier than your own. It will
be sufficiently difficult to keep your children up to your best level
without having to correct a bias in their blood.
5. DO NOT SELL YOURSELF.--It matters not whether the price be money or
position.
6. DO NOT THROW YOURSELF AWAY.--You will not receive too much, even if
you are paid full price.
7. SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PARENTS.--Your parents are your best
friends. They will make more sacrifice for you than any other mortals.
They are elevated above selfishness concerning you. If they differ
from you concerning your choice, it is because they must.
8. DO NOT MARRY TO PLEASE ANY THIRD PARTY.--You must do the living and
enduring.
9. DO NOT MARRY TO SPITE ANYBODY.--It would add wretchedness to folly.
10. DO NOT MARRY BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE MAY SEEK THE SAME HAND.--One
glove may not fit all hands equally well.
11. DO NOT MARRY TO GET RID OF ANYBODY.--The coward who shot himself
to escape from being drafted was insane.
12. DO NOT MARRY MERELY FOR THE IMPULSE OF LOVE.--Love is a principle
as well as an emotion. So far as it is a sentiment it is a blind
guide. It does not wait to test the presence of exalted character in
its object before breaking out into a flame. Shavings make a hot fire,
but hard coal is better for the Winter.
13. DO NOT MARRY WITHOUT LOVE.--A body without a soul soon becomes
offensive.
14. TEST CAREFULLY THE EFFECT OF PROTRACTED ASSOCIATION.--If
familiarity breeds contempt before marriage it will afterward.
15. TEST CAREFULLY THE EFFECT OF PROTRACTED SEPARATION.--True love
will defy both time and space.
16. CONSIDER CAREFULLY the right of your children under the laws of
heredity. It is doubtful whether you have a right to increase the
number of invalids and cripples.
17. DO NOT MARRY SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU HAVE PROMISED TO DO SO.--If a seam
opens between you now it will widen into a gulf. It is less offensive
to retract a mistaken promise than to perjure your soul before the
altar. Your intended spouse has a right to absolute integrity.
[Illustration: GOING TO BE MARRIED.]
18. MARRY CHARACTER.--It is not so much what one has as what one is.
19. DO NOT MARRY THE WRONG OBJECT.--Themistocles said he would rather
marry his daughter to a man without money than to money with a man. It
is well to have both. It is fatal to have neither.
20. DEMAND A JUST RETURN.--You give virtue and purity, and gentleness
and integrity. You have a right to demand the same in return. Duty
requires it.
21. REQUIRE BRAINS.--Culture is good, but will not be transmitted.
Brain power may be.
22. STUDY PAST RELATIONSHIP.--The good daughter and sister makes a
good wife. The good son and brother makes a good husband.
23. NEVER MARRY AS A MISSIONARY DEED.--If one needs saving from bad
habits he is not suitable for you.
24. MARRIAGE IS A SURE AND SPECIFIC REMEDY for all the ills known
as seminal losses. As right eating cures a sick stomach and right
breathing diseased lungs, so the right use of the sexual organs will
bring relief and restoration. Many men who have been sufferers
from indiscretions of youth, have married, and were soon cured of
spermatorrhoea and other complications which accompanied it.
25. A GOOD, LONG COURTSHIP will often cure many difficulties or ills
of the sexual organs. O.S. Fowler says: "See each other often spend
many pleasant hours together," have many walks and talks, think of
each other while absent, write many love letters, be inspired to many
love feelings and acts towards each other, and exercise your sexuality
in a thousand forms ten thousand times, every one of which tones up
and thereby recuperates this very element now dilapidated. When you
have courted long enough to marry, you will be sufficiently restored
to be reimproved by it.
UP AND AT IT.--Dress up, spruce up, and be on the alert. Don't wait
too long to get one much more perfect than you are; but settle on some
one soon. Remember that your unsexed state renders you over-dainty,
and easily disgusted. So contemplate only their lovable qualities.
26. PURITY OF PURPOSE.--Court with a pure and loyal purpose, and when
thoroughly convinced that the disposition of other difficulties are
in the way of a happy marriage life, then _honorably_ discuss it and
honorably treat each other in the settlement.
27. DO NOT TRIFLE with the feelings or affections of each other. It is
a sin that will curse you all the days of your life.
* * * * *
WOMEN WHO MAKE THE BEST WIVES.
1. CONSCIOUS OF THE DUTIES OF HER SEX.--A woman conscious of the
duties of her sex, one who unflinchingly discharges the duties
allotted to her by nature, would no doubt make a good wife.
2. GOOD WIVES AND MOTHERS.--The good wives and mothers are the women
who believe in the sisterhood of women as well as in the brotherhood
of men. The highest exponent of this type seeks to make her home
something more than an abode where children are fed, clothed and
taught the catechism. The State has taken her children into politics
by making their education a function of politicians. The good wife
and homemaker says to her children, "Where thou goest, I will go." She
puts off her own inclinations to ease and selfishness. She studies the
men who propose to educate her children; she exhorts mothers to sit
beside fathers on the school-board; she will even herself accept such
thankless office in the interests of the helpless youth of the schools
who need a mother's as well as a father's and a teacher's care in this
field of politics.
3. A BUSY WOMAN.--As to whether a busy woman, that is, a woman who
labors for mankind in the world outside her home,--whether such an one
can also be a good housekeeper, and care for her children, and make
a real "Home, Sweet Home!" with all the comforts by way of variation,
why! I am ready, as the result of years practical experience as a
busy woman, to assert that women of affairs can also be women of true
domestic tastes and habits.
4. BRAINY ENOUGH.--What kind of women make the best wives? The
woman who is brainy enough to be a companion, wise enough to be
a counsellor, skilled enough in the domestic virtues to be a good
housekeeper, and loving enough to guide in true paths the children
with whom the home may be blessed.
5. FOUND THE RIGHT HUSBAND.--The best wife is the woman who has found
the right husband, a husband who understands her. A man will have the
best wife when he rates that wife as queen among women. Of all women
she should always be to him the dearest. This sort of man will not
only praise the dishes made by his wife, but will actually eat them.
6. BANK ACCOUNT.--He will allow his life-companion a bank account,
and will exact no itemized bill at the end of the month. Above all, he
will pay the Easter bonnet bill without a word, never bring a friend
to dinner without first telephoning home,--short, he will comprehend
that the woman who makes the best wife is the woman whom, by his
indulgence of her ways and whims, he makes the best wife. So after
all, good husbands have the most to do with making good wives.
[Illustration: PUNISHMENT OF WIFE BEATERS IN NEW ENGLAND IN THE EARLY
DAYS.]
7. BEST HOME MAKER.--A woman to be the best home maker needs to be
devoid of intensive "nerves." She must be neat and systematic, but not
too neat, lest she destroy the comfort she endeavors to create. She
must be distinctly amiable, while firm. She should have no "career,"
or desire for a career, if she would fill to perfection the home
sphere. She must be affectionate, sympathetic and patient, and fully
appreciative of the worth and dignity of her sphere.
8. KNOW NOTHING WHATSOEVER ABOUT COOKING OR SEWING OR HOUSEKEEPING.--I
am inclined to make my answer to this question somewhat concise, after
the manner of a text without the sermon. Like this: To be the "best
wife" depends upon three things: first, an abiding faith with God;
second, duty lovingly discharged as daughter, wife and mother; third,
self-improvement, mentally, physically, spiritually. With this as
a text and as a glittering generality, let me touch upon one or two
practical essentials. In the course of every week it is my privilege
to meet hundreds of young women,--prospective wives. I am astonished
to find that many of these know nothing whatsoever about cooking or
sewing or housekeeping. Now, if a woman cannot broil a beefsteak, nor
boil the coffee when it is necessary, if she cannot mend the linen,
nor patch a coat, if she cannot make a bed, order the dinner, create a
lamp-shade, ventilate the house, nor do anything practical in the way
of making home actually a home, how can she expect to make even a good
wife, not to speak of a better or best wife? I need not continue this
sermon. Wise girls will understand.
9. THE BEST KEEPER OF HOME.--As to who is the best keeper of this
transition home, memory pictures to me a woman grown white under the
old slavery, still bound by it, in that little-out-of-the-way Kansas
town, but never so bound that she could not put aside household tasks,
at any time, for social intercourse, for religious conversation, for
correspondence, for reading, and, above all, for making everyone who
came near her feel that her home was the expression of herself, a
place for rest, study, and the cultivation of affection. She did not
exist for her walls, her carpets, her furniture; they existed for her
and all who came to her She considered herself the equal of all; and
everyone else thought her the superior of all.
* * * * *
ADAPTATION, CONJUGAL AFFECTION, AND FATAL ERRORS.
ADVICE TO THE MARRIED AND UNMARRIED.
1. MARRYING FOR WEALTH.--Those who marry for wealth often get what
they marry and nothing else; for rich girls besides being generally
destitute of both industry and economy, are generally extravagant
in their expenditures, and require servants enough to dissipate a
fortune. They generally have insatiable wants, yet feel that they
deserve to be indulged in everything, because they placed their
husbands under obligation to them by bringing them a dowry. And then
the mere idea of living on the money of a wife, and of being supported
by her, is enough to tantalize any man of an independent spirit.
2. SELF-SUPPORT.--What spirited husband would not prefer to support
both himself and wife, rather than submit to this perpetual bondage
of obligation. To live upon a father, or take a patrimony from him, is
quite bad enough; but to run in debt to a wife, and owe her a living,
is a little too aggravating for endurance, especially if there be not
perfect cordiality between the two, which cannot be the case in money
matches. Better live wifeless, or anything else, rather than marry for
money.
3. MONEY-SEEKERS.--Shame on sordid wife-seekers, or, rather,
money-seekers; for it is not a wife that they seek, but only filthy
lucre! They violate all their other faculties simply to gratify
miserly desire. Verily such "have their reward"!
4. THE PENITENT HOUR.--And to you, young ladies, let me say with great
emphasis, that those who court and marry you because you are rich,
will make you rue the day of your pecuniary espousals. They care not
for you, but only your money, and when they get that, will be liable
to neglect or abuse you, and probably squander it, leaving you
destitute and abandoning you to your fate.
6. INDUSTRY THE SIGN OF NOBILITY.--Marry a working, industrious young
lady, whose constitution is strong, flesh solid, and health unimpaired
by confinement, bad habits, or late hours. Give me a plain, home-spun
farmer's daughter, and you may have all the rich and fashionable
belles of our cities and villages.
6. WASP WAISTS.--Marrying small waists is attended with consequences
scarcely less disastrous than marrying rich and fashionable girls.
An amply developed chest is a sure indication of a naturally vigorous
constitution and a strong hold on life; while small waists indicate
small and feeble vital organs, a delicate constitution, sickly
offspring, and a short life. Beware of them, therefore, unless you
wish your heart broken by the early death of your wife and children.
[Illustration: UNTIL DEATH US DO PART.]
7. MARRYING TALKERS.--In marrying a wit or a talker merely, though
the brilliant scintillations of the former, or the garrulity of the
latter, may amuse or delight you for the time being, yet you will
derive no permanent satisfaction from these qualities, for there will
be no common bond of kindred feeling to assimilate your souls and hold
each spell-bound at the shrine of the other's intellectual or moral
excellence.
8. THE SECOND WIFE.--Many men, especially in choosing a second wife,
are governed by her own qualifications as a housekeeper mainly, and
marry industry and economy. Though these traits of character are
excellent, yet a good housekeeper may be far from being a good wife.
A good housekeeper, but a poor wife, may indeed prepare you a good
dinner, and keep her house and children neat and tidy, yet this is but
a part of the office of a wife; who, besides all her household duties,
has those of a far higher order to perform. She should soothe you with
her sympathies, divert your troubled mind, and make the whole family
happy by the gentleness of her manners, and the native goodness of her
heart. A husband should also likewise do his part.
9. DO NOT MARRY A MAN WITH A LOW, FLAT HEAD; for, however fascinating,
genteel, polite, tender, plausible or winning he may be, you will
repent the day of your espousal.
10. HEALTHY WIRES AND MOTHERS.--Let girls romp, and let them range
hill and dale in search of flowers, berries, or any other object of
amusement or attraction; let them bathe often, skip the rope, and take
a smart ride on horseback; often interspersing these amusements with
a turn of sweeping or washing, in order thereby to develop their vital
organs, and thus lay a substantial physical foundation for becoming
good wives and mothers. The wildest romps usually make the best wives,
while quiet, still, demure, sedate and sedentary girls are not worth
having.
11. SMALL STATURE.--In passing, I will just remark, that good size is
important in wives and mothers. A small stature is objectionable in a
woman, because little women usually have too much activity for their
strength, and, consequently, feeble constitutions; hence they die
young, and besides, being nervous, suffer extremely as mothers.
12. HARD TIMES AND MATRIMONY.--Many persons, particularly young men,
refuse to marry, especially "these hard time," because they cannot
support a wife in the style they wish. To this I reply, that a good
wife will care less for the style in which she is supported, than for
you. She will cheerfully conform to your necessities, and be happy
with you in a log-cabin. She will even help you support yourself.
To support a good wife, even if she have children, is really less
expensive than to board alone, besides being one of the surest means
of acquiring property.
13. MARRYING FOR A HOME.--Do not, however, marry for a home merely,
unless you wish to become even more destitute with one than without
one; for, it is on the same footing with "marrying for money." Marry a
man for his merit; and you take no chances.
14. MARRY TO PLEASE NO ONE BUT YOURSELF.--Marriage is a matter
exclusively your own; because you alone must abide its consequences.
No person, not even a parent, has the least right to interfere or
dictate in this matter. I never knew a marriage, made to please
another, to turn out any otherwise than most unhappily.
15. DO NOT MARRY TO PLEASE YOUR PARENTS. Parents can not love for
their children any more than they can eat or sleep, or breathe, or die
and go to heaven for them. They may give wholesome advice merely,
but should leave the entire decision to the unbiased judgment of the
parties themselves, who mainly are to experience the consequences of
their choice. Besides, such is human nature, that to oppose lovers, or
to speak against the person beloved, only increases their desire and
determination to marry.
16. RUN-AWAY MATCHES.--Many a run-away match would never have taken
place but for opposition or interference. Parents are mostly to be
blamed for these elopements. Their children marry partly out of
sprite and to be contrary. Their very natures tell them that
this interference is unjust--as it really is--and this excites
combativeness, firmness, and self-esteem, in combination with the
social faculties, to powerful and even blind resistance--which turmoil
of the faculties hastens the match. Let the affections of a daughter
be once slightly enlisted in your favor, and then let the "old folks"
start an opposition, and you may feel sure of your prize. If she did
not love you before, she will now, that you are persecuted.
17. DISINHERITANCE.--Never disinherit, or threaten to disinherit, a
child for marrying against your will. If you wish a daughter not to
marry a certain man, oppose her, and she will be sure to marry him; so
also in reference to a son.
18. PROPER TRAINING.--The secret is, however, all in a nutshell. Let
the father properly train his daughter, and she will bring her first
love-letter to him, and give him an opportunity to cherish a suitable
affection, and to nip an improper one in the germ, before it has time
to do any harm.
19. THE FATAL MISTAKES OF PARENTS.--_There is, however one way of
effectually preventing an improper match, and that is, not to allow
your children to associate with any whom you are unwilling they should
marry. How cruel as well at unjust to allow a daughter to associate
with a young man till the affections of both are riveted, and then
forbid her marrying him. Forbid all association, or consent cheerfully
to the marriage._
20. AN INTEMPERATE LOVER.--Do not flatter yourselves young women, that
you can wean even an occasional wine drinker from his cups by love and
persuasion. Ardent spirit at first, kindles up the fires of love into
the fierce flames of burning licentiousness, which burn out every
element of love and destroy every vestige of pure affection. It
over-excites the passions, and thereby finally destroys it,--producing
at first, unbridled libertinism, and then an utter barrenness of love;
besides reversing the other faculties of the drinker against his own
consort, and those of the wife against her drinking husband.
* * * * *
FIRST LOVE, DESERTION AND DIVORCE.
1. FIRST LOVE.--This is the most important direction of all. The
first love experiences a tenderness, a purity and unreservedness, an
exquisiteness, a devotedness, and a poetry belonging to no subsequent
attachment. "Love, like life, has no second spring." Though a
second attachment may be accompanied by high moral feeling, and to a
devotedness to the object loved; yet, let love be checked or
blighted in its first pure emotion, and the beauty of its spring is
irrecoverably withered and lost. This does not mean the simple love of
children in the first attachment they call love, but rather the mature
intelligent love of those of suitable age.
[Illustration: MUSICAL CULTURE LESSON.]
2. FREE FROM TEMPTATIONS.--As long as his heart is bound up in its
first bundle of love and devotedness--as long as his affections
remain reciprocated and uninterrupted--so long temptations cannot take
effect. This heart is callous to the charms of others, and the very
idea of bestowing his affections upon another is abhorrent. Much more
so is animal indulgence, which is morally impossible.
3. SECOND LOVE NOT CONSTANT.--But let this first love be broken off,
and the flood-gates of passion are raised. Temptations now flow
in upon him. He casts a lustful eye upon every passing female,
and indulges unchaste imaginations and feelings. Although his
conscientiousness or intellect may prevent actual indulgence, yet
temptations now take effect, and render him liable to err; whereas
before they had no power to awaken improper thoughts or feelings. Thus
many young men find their ruin.
4. LEGAL MARRIAGE.--What would any woman give for merely a nominal
or legal husband, just to live with and provide for her, but who
entertained not one spark of love for her, or whose affections were
bestowed upon another? How absurd, how preposterous the doctrine
that the obligations of marriage derive their sacredness from legal
enactments and injunctions! How it literally profanes this holy of
holies, and drags down this heaven-born institution from its original,
divine elevation, to the level of a merely human device. Who will dare
to advocate the human institution of marriage without the warm heart
of a devoted and loving companion!
5. LEGISLATION.--But no human legislation can so guard this
institution but that it may be broken in spirit, though, perhaps,
acceded to in form; for, it is the heart which this institution
requires. There must be true and devoted affection, or marriage is a
farce and a failure.
6. THE MARRIAGE CEREMONY AND THE LAW GOVERNING MARRIAGE are for the
protection of the individual, yet a man and woman may be married by
law and yet unmarried in spirit. The law may tie together, and no
marriage be consummated. Marriage therefore is Divine, and "whom God
hath joined together let no man put asunder." A right marriage means a
right state of the heart. A careful study of this work will be a great
help to both the unmarried and the married.
7. DESERTION AND DIVORCE.--For a young man to court a young woman,
and excite her love till her affections are riveted, and then (from
sinister motives, such as, to marry one richer, or more handsome), to
leave her, and try elsewhere, is the very same crime as to divorce
her from all that she holds dear on earth--to root up and pull out her
imbedded affections, and to tear her from her rightful husband. First
love is always constant. The second love brings uncertainty--too often
desertions before marriage and divorces after marriage.
8. THE COQUET.--The young woman to play the coquet, and sport with the
sincere affections of an honest and devoted young man, is one of the
highest crimes that human nature can commit. Better murder him in body
too, as she does in soul and morals, and it is the result of previous
disappointment, never the outcome of a sincere first love.
9. ONE MARRIAGE. One evidence that second marriages are contrary
to the laws of our social nature, is the fact that almost all
step-parents and step-children disagree. Now, what law has been
broken, to induce this penalty? The law of marriage; and this is one
of the ways in which the breach punishes itself. It is much more in
accordance with our natural feelings, especially those of mothers,
that children should be brought up by their own parent.
10. SECOND MARRIAGE.--Another proof of this point is, that second
marriage is more a matter of business. "I'll give you a home, if
you'll take care of my children." "It's a bargain," is the way most
second matches are made. There is little of the poetry of first-love,
and little of the coyness and shrinking diffidence which characterize
the first attachment. Still these remarks apply almost equally to a
second attachment, as to second marriage.
11. THE CONCLUSION OF THE WHOLE MATTER.--Let this portion be read
and pondered, and also the one entitled, "Marry your First Love if
possible," which assigns the cause, and points out the only remedy, of
licentiousness. As long as the main cause of this vice exists, and
is aggravated by purse-proud, high-born, aristocratic parents and
friends, and even by the virtuous and religious, just so long, and
exactly in the same ratio will this blighting Sirocco blast the
fairest flowers of female innocence and lovliness, and blight our
noblest specimens of manliness. No sin of our land is greater.
[Illustration]
[Illustration: A CLASSIC FRIEZE.]
[Illustration: HOW MANY YOUNG GIRLS ARE RUINED.]
* * * * *
FLIRTING AND ITS DANGERS.
1. NO EXCUSE.--In this country there is no excuse for the young man
who seeks the society of the loose and the dissolute. There is at all
times and everywhere open to him a society of persons of the opposite
sex of his own age and of pure thoughts and lives, whose conversation
will refine him and drive from his bosom ignoble and impure thoughts.
2. THE DANGERS.--The young man who may take pleasure in the fact that
he is the hero of half a dozen or more engagements and love episodes,
little realizes that such constant excitement often causes not only
dangerously frequent and long-continued nocturnal emissions, but
most painful affections of the testicles. Those who show too great
familiarity with the other sex, who entertain lascivious thoughts,
continually exciting the sexual desires, always suffer a weakening
of power and sometimes the actual diseases of degeneration, chronic
inflammation of the gland, spermatorrhoea, impotence, and the
like.--Young man, beware; your punishment for trifling with the
affections of others may cost you a life of affliction.
3. REMEDY.--Do not violate the social laws. Do not trifle with the
affections of your nature. Do not give others countless anguish, and
also do not run the chances of injuring yourself and others for
life. The society of refined and pure women is one of the strongest
safeguards a young man can have, and he who seeks it will not
only find satisfaction, but happiness. Simple friendship and kind
affections for each other will ennoble and benefit.
4. THE TIME FOR MARRIAGE.--When a young man's means permit him to
marry, he should then look intelligently for her with whom he expects
to pass the remainder of his life in perfect loyalty, and in sincerity
and singleness of heart. Seek her to whom he is ready to swear to be
ever true.
5. BREACH OF CONFIDENCE.--Nothing is more certain, says Dr. Naphey,
to undermine domestic felicity, and sap the foundation of marital
happiness, than marital infidelity. The risks of disease which a
married man runs in impure intercourse are far more serious, because
they not only involve himself, but his wife and his children. He
should know that there is nothing which a woman will not forgive
sooner than such a breach of confidence. He is exposed to the plots
and is pretty certain sooner or later to fall into the snares of those
atrocious parties who subsist on black-mail. And should he escape
these complications, he still must lose self-respect, and carry about
with him the burden of a guilty conscience and a broken vow.
6. SOCIETY RULES AND CUSTOMS.--A young man can enjoy the society
of ladies without being a "flirt." He can escort ladies to parties,
public places of interest, social gatherings, etc., without showing
special devotion to any one special young lady. When he finds the
choice of his heart, then he will be justified to manifest it,
and publicly proclaim it by paying her the compliment, exclusive
attention. To keep a lady's company six months is a public
announcement of an engagement.
* * * * *
A WORD TO MAIDENS.
1. NO YOUNG LADY who is not willing to assume the responsibility of a
true wife, and be crowned with the sacred diadem of motherhood, should
ever think of getting married. We have too many young ladies to-day
who despise maternity, who openly vow that they will never be burdened
with children, and yet enter matrimony at the first opportunity. What
is the result? Let echo answer, What? Unless a young lady believes
that motherhood is noble, is honorable, is divine, and she is willing
to carry out that sacred function of her nature, she had a thousand
times better refuse every proposal, and enter some honorable
occupation and wisely die an old maid by choice.
2. ON THE OTHER HAND, YOUNG LADY, never enter into the physical
relations of marriage with a man until you have conversed with him
freely and fully on these relations. Learn distinctly his views and
feelings and expectations in regard to that purest and most ennobling
of all the functions of your nature, and the most sacred of all
intimacies of conjugal love. Your self-respect, your beauty, your
glory, your heaven, as a wife, will be more directly involved in his
feelings and views and practices, in regard to that relation, than in
all other things. As you would not become a weak, miserable, imbecile,
unlovable and degraded wife and mother, in the very prime of your
life, come to a perfect understanding with your chosen one, ere you
commit your person to his keeping in the sacred intimacies of home.
Beware of that man who, under pretence of delicacy, modesty, and
propriety, shuns conversation with you on this relation, and on the
hallowed function of maternity.
3. TALK WITH YOUR INTENDED frankly and openly. Remember, concealment
and mystery in him, towards you, on all other subjects pertaining to
conjugal union might be overlooked, but if he conceals his views here,
rest assured it bodes no good to your purity and happiness as a wife
and mother. You can have no more certain assurance that you are to be
victimized, your soul and body offered up, _slain_ on the altar of his
sensualism, than his unwillingness to converse with you on subjects so
vital to your happiness. Unless he is willing to hold his manhood
in abeyance to the calls of your nature and to your conditions, and
consecrate its passions and its powers to the elevation and happiness
of his wife and children, your maiden soul had better return to God
unadorned with the diadem of conjugal and maternal love than that you
should become the wife of such man and the mother of his children.
[Illustration: ROMAN LOVE MAKING.]
[Illustration: UNIFORMED MEN ARE ALWAYS POPULAR.]
* * * * *
POPPING THE QUESTION.
1. MAKING THE DECLARATION.--There are few emergencies in business and
few events in life that bring to man the trying ordeal of "proposing
to a lady." We should be glad to help the bashful lover in his hours
of perplexity, embarrassment and hesitation, but unfortunately we
cannot pop the question for him, nor give him a formula by which he
may do it. Different circumstances and different surroundings compel
every lover to be original in his form or mode of proposing.
2. BASHFULNESS.--If a young man is very bashful, he should write his
sentiments in a clear, frank manner on a neat white sheet of note
paper, enclose it in a plain white envelope and find some way to
convey it to the lady's hand.
3. THE ANSWER.--If the beloved one's heart is touched and she is
in sympathy with the lover, the answer should be frankly and
unequivocally given. If the negative answer is necessary, it should
be done in the kindest and most sympathetic language, yet definite,
positive and to the point, and the gentleman should at once withdraw
his suit and continue friendly but not familiar.
4. SAYING "NO" FOR "YES."-If girls are foolish enough to say "No" when
they mean "Yes," they must suffer the consequences which often follow.
A man of intelligence and self-respect will not ask a lady twice. It
is begging for recognition and lowers his dignity, should he do so.
A lady is supposed to know her heart sufficiently to consider the
question to her satisfaction before giving an answer.
5. CONFUSION OF WORDS AND MISUNDERSTANDING.--Sometimes a man's
happiness, has depended on his manner of popping the question. Many
a time the girl has said "No" because the question was so worded that
the affirmative did not come from the mouth naturally; and two lives
that gravitated toward each other with all their inward force have
been thrown suddenly apart, because the electric keys were not
carefully touched.
6. SCRIPTURAL DECLARATION.--The church is not the proper place to
conduct a courtship, yet the following is suggestive and ingenious.
A young gentleman, familiar with the Scriptures, happening to sit in a
pew adjoining a young lady for whom he conceived a violent attachment,
made his proposal in this way. He politely handed his neighbor a Bible
open, with a pin stuck in the following text: Second Epistle of John,
verse 5:
"And I beseech thee, lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment
unto thee, but that we had from the beginning, that we love one
another."
She returned it, pointing to the second chapter of Ruth, verse 10:
"Then she fell on her face, and bowed herself to the ground, and said
unto him. Why have I found grace in thine eyes that thou shouldest
take knowledge of me, seeing I am a stranger?"
[Illustration: SEALING THE ENGAGEMENT. From the Most Celebrated
Painting in the German Department at the World's Fair.]
He returned the book, pointing to the 13th verse of the Third Epistle
of John: "Having many things to write unto you, I would not write to
you with paper and ink, but trust to come unto you and speak face to
face, that your joy may be full."
From the above interview a marriage took place the ensuing month in
the same church.
7. HOW JENNY WAS WON.
On a sunny Summer morning,
Early as the dew was dry,
Up the hill I went a berrying;
Need I tell you--tell you why?
Farmer Davis had a daughter.
And it happened that I knew,
On each sunny morning, Jenny
Up the hill went berrying too.
Lonely work is picking berries,
So I joined her on the hill:
"Jenny, dear," said I, "your basket's
Quite too large for one to fill."
So we stayed--we two--to fill it,
Jenny talking--I was still.--
Leading where the hill was steepest,
Picking berries up the hill.
"This is up-hill work," said Jenny;
"So is life," said I; "shall we
Climb it each alone, or, Jenny,
Will you come and climb with me?"
Redder than the blushing berries
Jenny's cheek a moment grew,
While without delay she answered,
"I will come and climb with you."
[Illustration: A PERUVIAN BEAUTY.]
8. A ROMANTIC WAY FOR PROPOSING.--In Peru they have a romantic way
of popping the question. The suitor appears on the appointed evening,
with a gaily dressed troubadour under the balcony of his beloved. The
singer steps before her flower-bedecked window, and sings her beauties
in the name of her lover. He compares her size to that of a pear tree,
her lips to two blushing rose-buds, and her womanly form to that of a
dove. With assumed harshness the lady asks her lover: Who are you, and
what do you want? He answers with ardent confidence: "Thy love I do
adore. The stars live in the harmony of love, and why should not we,
too, love each other?" Then the proud beauty gives herself away: she
takes her flower-wreath from her hair and throws it down to her lover,
promising to be his forever.
[Illustration: THE BRIDE.]
* * * * *
THE WEDDING.
1. THE PROPER TIME.--Much has been printed in various volumes
regarding the time of the year, the influence of the seasons, etc., as
determining the proper time to set for the wedding day. Circumstances
must govern these things. To be sure, it is best to avoid extremes
of heat and cold. Very hot weather is debilitating, and below zero is
uncomfortable.
2. THE LADY SHOULD SELECT THE DAY.--There is one element in the time
that is of great importance, physically, especially to the lady. It is
the day of the month, and it is hoped that every lady who contemplates
marriage is informed upon the great facts of ovulation. By reading
page 244 she will understand that it is to her advantage to select
a wedding day about fifteen or eighteen days after the close of
menstruation in the month chosen, since it is not best that the first
child should be conceived during the excitement or irritation of first
attempts at congress; besides modest brides naturally do not wish
to become large with child before the season of congratulation and
visiting on their return from the "wedding tour" is over.
Again, it is asserted by many of the best writers on this subject,
that the mental condition of either parent at the time of intercourse
will be stamped upon the embryo hence it is not only best, but wise,
that the first-born should not be conceived until several months after
marriage, when the husband and wife have nicely settled in their new
home, and become calm in their experience of each other's society.
3. THE "BRIDAL TOUR" is considered by many newly married couples as
a necessary introduction to a life of connubial joy. There is, in our
opinion, nothing in the custom to recommend it. After the excitement
and overwork before and accompanying a wedding, the period immediately
following should be one of _rest_.
Again, the money expended on the ceremony and a tour of the principal
cities, etc., might, in most cases, be applied to a multitude of
after-life comforts of far more lasting value and importance. To be
sure, it is not pleasant for the bride, should she remain at home,
to pass through the ordeal of criticism and vulgar comments of
acquaintances and friends, and hence, to escape this, the young couple
feel like getting away for a time. Undoubtedly the best plan for the
great majority, after this most eventful ceremony, is to enter their
future home at once, and there to remain in comparative privacy until
the novelty of the situation is worn off.
4. IF THE CONVENTIONAL TOUR is taken, the husband should remember
that his bride cannot stand the same amount of tramping around and
sight-seeing that he can. The female organs of generation are so
easily affected by excessive exercise of the limbs which support
them, that at this critical period it would be a foolish and cosily
experience to drag a lady hurriedly around the country on an extensive
and protracted round of sight-seeing or visiting. Unless good
common-sense is displayed in the manner of spending the "honey-moon,"
it will prove very untrue to its name. In many cases it lays the
foundation for the wife's first and life-long "backache."
[Illustration: THE GYPSY BRIDE.]
* * * * *
ADVICE TO NEWLY MARRIED COUPLES.
1. "BE YE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY" is a Bible commandment which the
children of men habitually obey. However they may disagree on other
subjects, all are in accord on this; the barbarous, the civilized, the
high, the low, the fierce, the gentle--all unite in the desire which
finds its accomplishment in the reproduction of their kind. Who shall
quarrel with the Divinely implanted instinct, or declare it to be
vulgar or unmentionable? It is during the period of the honeymoon that
the intensity of this desire, coupled with the greatest curiosity, is
at its height, and the unbridled license often given the passions at
this time is attended with the most dangerous consequences.
2. CONSUMMATION OF MARRIAGE.--The first time that the husband and wife
cohabit together after the ceremony has been performed is called the
consummation of marriage. Many grave errors have been committed by
people in this, when one or both of the contracting parties were
not physically or sexually in a condition to carry out the marriage
relation. A marriage, however, is complete without this in the eyes
of the law, as it is a maxim taken from the Roman civil statutes that
consent, not cohabitation, is the binding element in the ceremony.
Yet, in most States of the U.S., and in some other countries, marriage
is legally declared void and of no effect where it is not possible to
consummate the marriage relation. A divorce may be obtained provided
the injured party begins the suit.
3. TEST OF VIRGINITY.--The consummation of marriage with a virgin is
not necessarily attended with a flow of blood, and the absence of this
sign is not the slightest presumption against her former chastity.
The true test of virginity is modesty void of any disagreeable
familiarity. A sincere Christian faith is one of the best
recommendations.
4. LET EVERY MAN REMEMBER that the legal right of marriage does not
carry with it the moral right to injure for life the loving companion
he has chosen. Ignorance may be the cause, but every man before
he marries should know something of the physiology and the laws of
health, and we here give some information which is of very great
importance to every newly-married man.
5. SENSUALITY.--Lust crucifies love. The young sensual husband is
generally at fault. Passion sways and the duty to bride and wife is
not thought of, and so a modest young wife is often actually forced
and assaulted by the unsympathetic haste of her husband. An amorous
man in that way soon destroys his own love, and thus is laid the
foundation for many difficulties that soon develop trouble and disturb
the happiness of both.
6. ABUSE AFTER MARRIAGE.--Usually marriage is consummated within a day
or two after the ceremony, but this is gross injustice to the bride.
In most cases she is nervous, timid, and exhausted by the duties of
preparation for the wedding, and in no way in a condition, either in
body or mind, for the vital change which the married relation bring
upon her. Many a young husband often lays the foundation of many
diseases of the womb and of the nervous system in gratifying his
unchecked passions without a proper regard for his wife's exhausted
condition.
7. THE FIRST CONJUGAL APPROACHES are usually painful to the new wife,
and no enjoyment to her follows. Great caution and kindness should
be exercised. A young couple rushing together in their animal passion
soon produce a nervous and irritating condition which ere long brings
apathy, indifference, if not dislike. True love and a high regard for
each other will temper passion into moderation.
8. WERE THE ABOVE INJUNCTIONS HEEDED fully and literally it would
be folly to say more, but this would be omitting all account of the
bridegroom's new position, the power of his passion, and the timidity
of the fair creature who is wondering what fate has in store for her
trembling modesty. To be sure, there are some women who are possessed
of more forward natures and stronger desires than others. In such
cases there may be less trouble.
9. A COMMON ERROR.--The young husband may have read in some treatise
on physiology that the hymen in a virgin is the great obstacle to be
overcome. He is apt to conclude that this is all, that some force will
be needed to break it down, and that therefore an amount of urgency
even to the degree of inflicting considerable pain is justifiable.
This is usually wrong. It rarely constitutes any obstruction and, even
when its rupturing may be necessary, it alone seldom causes suffering.
There are sometimes certain deformities of the vagina, but no woman
should knowingly seek matrimonial relations when thus afflicted.
We quote from Dr. C.A. Huff the following:
10. "WHAT IS IT, THEN, THAT USUALLY CAUSES distress to many women,
whether a bride or a long-time wife?" The answer is, Simply those
conditions of the organs in which they are not properly prepared, by
anticipation and desire, to receive a foreign body. The modest one
craves only refined and platonic love at first, and if husbands, new
and old, would only realize this plain truth, wife-torturing would
cease and the happiness of each one of all human pairs vastly
increase.
11. THE CONDITIONS OF THE FEMALE organs depend upon the state of the
mind just as much as in the case of the husband. The male, however,
being more sensual, is more quickly roused. She is far less often or
early ready. In its unexcited state the vagina is lax, its walls are
closed together, and their surfaces covered by but little lubricating
secretion. The chaster one of the pair has no desire that this sacred
vestibule to the great arcana of procreation shall be immediately and
roughly invaded. This, then, is the time for all approaches by
the husband to be of the most delicate, considerate, and refined
description possible. The quietest and softest demeanor, with gentle
and re-assuring words, are all that should be attempted at first. The
wedding day has probably been one of fatigue, and it is foolish to go
farther.
12. FOR MORE THAN ONE NIGHT it will be wise, indeed, if the wife's
confidence shall be as much wooed and won by patient, delicate, and
prolonged courting, as before the marriage engagement. How long should
this period of waiting be can only be decided by the circumstances of
any case. The bride will ultimately deny no favor which is sought with
full deference to her modesty, and in connection with which bestiality
is not exhibited. Her nature is that of delicacy; her affection is
of a refined character; if the love and conduct offered to her are a
careful effort to adapt roughness and strength to her refinement and
weakness, her admiration and responsive love will be excited to the
utmost.
13. WHEN THAT MOMENT ARRIVES when the bride finds she can repose
perfect confidence in the kindness of her husband, that his love is
not purely animal, and that no violence will be attempted, the power
of her affection for him will surely assert itself; the mind will
act on those organs which nature has endowed to fulfil the law of
her being, the walls of the vagina will expand, and the glands at
the entrance will be fully lubricated by a secretion of mucous which
renders congress a matter of comparative ease.
14. WHEN THIS RESPONSIVE ENLARGEMENT and lubrication are fully
realized, it is made plain why the haste and force so common to first
and subsequent coition, is, as it has been justly called, nothing but
"legalized rape." Young husband, Prove your manhood, not by yielding
to unbridled lust and cruelty, but by the exhibition of true power in
_self-control_ and patience with the helpless being confided to your
care. Prolong the delightful season of courting into and _through_
wedded life and rich shall be your reward.
15. A WANT OF DESIRE may often prevail, and may be caused by loss
of sleep, study, constant thought, mental disturbance, anxiety,
self-abuse, excessive use of tobacco or alcoholic drink, etc. Overwork
may cause debility; a man may not have an erection for months, yet it
may not be a sign of debility, sexual lethargy or impotence. Get the
mind and the physical constitution in proper condition, and most all
these difficulties will disappear. Good athletic exercise by walking,
riding, or playing croquet, or any other amusement, will greatly
improve the condition. A good rest, however, will be necessary to
fully restore the mind and the body, then the natural condition of the
sexual organs will be resumed.
16. HAVING TWINS.--Having twins is undoubtedly hereditary and
descends from generation to generation, and persons who have twins
are generally those who have great sexual vigor. It is generally the
result of a second cohabitation immediately following the first, but
some parents have twins who cohabit but once during several days.
17. PROPER INTERCOURSE.--The right relation of a newly-married couple
will rather increase than diminish love. To thus offer up the maiden
on the altar of love and affection only swells her flood of joy
and bliss; whereas, on the other hand, sensuality humbles, debases,
pollutes, and never elevates. Young husbands should wait for an
_invitation to the banquet_ and they will be amply paid by the very
pleasure sought. Invitation or permission delights, and possession by
force degrades. The right-minded bridegroom will postpone the exercise
of his nuptial rights for a few days, and allow his young wife to
become rested from the preparation and fatigue of the wedding, and
become accustomed to the changes in her new relations of life.
18. RIGHTLY BEGINNING SEXUAL LIFE.--Intercourse promotes all the
functions of the body and mind, but rampant just and sexual abuses
soon destroy the natural pleasures of intercourse, and unhappiness
will be the result. Remember that _intercourse_ should not become the
polluted purpose of marriage. To be sure, rational enjoyment benefits
and stimulates love, but the pleasure of each other's society,
standing together on all questions of mutual benefit, working hand in
hand and shoulder to shoulder in the battle of life, raising a family
of beautiful children, sharing each other's joys and sorrows, are
the things that bring to every couple the best, purest, and noblest
enjoyment that God has bestowed upon man.
[Illustration: A TURKISH HAREM.]
* * * * *
SEXUAL PROPRIETIES AND IMPROPRIETIES.
1. To have offspring is not to be regarded as a luxury, but as a
great primary necessity of health and happiness, of which every
fully-developed man and woman should have a fair share, while it
cannot be denied that the ignorance of the necessity of sexual
intercourse to the health and virtue of both man and woman is the most
fundamental error in medical and moral philosophy.
2. In a state of pure nature, where man would have his sexual
instincts under full and natural restraint, there would be little,
if any, licentiousness, and children would be the result of natural
desire, and not the accidents of lust.
3. This is an age of sensuality; unnatural passions cultivated and
indulged. Young people in the course of their engagement often sow
the seed of serious excesses. This habit of embracing, sitting on the
lover's lap, leaning on his breast, long and uninterrupted periods of
secluded companionship, have become so common that it is amazing how
a young lady can safely arrive at the wedding day. While this conduct
may safely terminate with the wedding day, yet it cultivates the
tendency which often results in excessive indulgencies after the
honey-moon is over.
4. SEPARATE BEDS.--Many writers have vigorously championed as a reform
the practice of separate beds for husband and wife. While we would not
recommend such separation, it is no doubt very much better for both
husband and wife, in case the wife is pregnant. Where people are
reasonably temperate, no such ordinary precautions as separate
sleeping places may be necessary. But in case of pregnancy it will
add rest to the mother and add vigor to the unborn child. Sleeping
together, however, is natural and cultivates true affection, and it
is physiologically true that in very cold weather life is prolonged by
husband and wife sleeping together.
5. THE AUTHORITY OF THE WIFE.--Let the wife judge whether she desires
a separate couch or not. She has the superior right to control her own
person. In such diseases as consumption, or other severe or lingering
diseases, separate beds should always be insisted upon.
6. THE TIME FOR INDULGENCE.--The health of the generative functions
depends upon exercise, just the same as any other vital organ.
Intercourse should be absolutely avoided just before or after meals,
or just after mental excitement or physical exercise. No wife should
indulge her husband when he is under the influence of alcoholic
stimulants, for idiocy and other serious maladies are liable to be
visited upon the offspring.
7. RESTRAINT DURING PREGNANCY.--There is no question but what moderate
indulgence during the first few months of pregnancy does not result
in serious harm; but people who excessively satisfy their ill-governed
passions are liable to pay a serious penalty.
8. MISCARRIAGE.--If a woman is liable to abortion or miscarriage,
absolute abstinence is the only remedy. No sexual indulgence during
pregnancy can be safely tolerated.
9. It is better for people not to marry until they are of proper age.
It is a physiological fact that men seldom reach the full maturity
or their virile power before the age of twenty-five, and the female
rarely attains the full vigor of her sexual powers before the age of
twenty.
10. ILLICIT PLEASURES.--The indulgence of illicit pleasures, says
Dr. S. Pancoast, sooner or later is sure to entail the most loathsome
diseases on their votaries. Among these diseases are Gonorrhoea,
Syphilis, Spermatorrhoea (waste of semen by daily and nightly
involuntary emissions), Satyriasis (a species of sexual madness, or
a sexual diabolism, causing men to commit rape and other beastly acts
and outrages, not only on women and children, but men and animals, as
sodomy, pederasty, etc.), Nymphomania (causing women to assail every
man they meet, and supplicate and excite him to gratify their lustful
passions, or who resort to means of sexual pollutions, which is
impossible to describe without shuddering), together with spinal
diseases and many disorders of the most distressing and disgusting
character filling the bones with rottenness, and eating away the
flesh by gangrenous ulcers, until the patient dies, a horrible mass of
putridity and corruption.
11. SENSUALITY.--Sensuality is not love, but an unbridled desire which
kills the soul. Sensuality will drive away the roses in the cheeks of
womanhood, undermine health and produce a brazen countenance that can
be read by all men. The harlot may commit her sins in the dark, but
her countenance reveals her character and her immorality is an open
secret.
12. SEXUAL TEMPERANCE.--All excesses and absurdities of every kind
should be carefully avoided. Many of the female disorders which often
revenge themselves in the cessation of all sexual pleasure are largely
due to the excessive practice of sexual indulgence.
13. FREQUENCY.--Some writers claim that intercourse should never
occur except for the purpose of childbearing but such restraint is
not natural and consequently not conducive to health. There are many
conditions in which the health of the mother and offspring must be
respected. It is now held that it is nearer a crime than a virtue to
prostitute woman to the degradation of breeding animals by compelling
her to bring into life more offspring than can be born healthy, or be
properly cared for and educated.
14. In this work we shall attempt to specify no rule, but simply give
advice as to the health and happiness of both man and wife. A man
should not gratify his own desires at the expense of his wife's
health, comfort or inclination. Many men no doubt harass their wives
and force many burdens upon their slender constitutions. But it is a
great sin and no true husband will demand unreasonable recognition.
The wife when physically able, however, should bear with her husband.
Man is naturally sensitive on this subject, and it takes but little to
alienate his affections and bring discover into the family.
15. The best writers lay down the rule for the government of the
marriage-bed, that sexual indulgence should only occur about once in a
week or ten days, and this of course applies only to those who enjoy
a fair degree of health. But it is a hygienic and physiological fact
that those who indulge only once a month receive a far greater degree
of the intensity of enjoyment than those who indulge their passions
more frequently. Much pleasure is lost by excesses where much might be
gained by temperance giving rest to the organs for the accumulation of
nervous force.
[Illustration]
* * * * *
HOW TO PERPETUATE THE HONEY-MOON.
1. CONTINUE YOUR COURTSHIP.--Like causes produce like effects.
2. NEGLECT OF YOUR COMPANION.--Do not assume a right to neglect your
companion more after marriage than you did before.
3. SECRETS.--Have no secrets that you keep from your companion. A
third party is always disturbing.
4. AVOID THE APPEARANCE OF EVIL.--In matrimonial matters it is often
that the mere appearance contains all the evil. Love, as soon as it
rises above calculation and becomes love, is exacting. It gives all,
and demands all.
5. ONCE MARRIED, NEVER OPEN YOUR MIND TO ANY CHANGE. If you keep the
door of your purpose closed, evil or even desirable changes cannot
make headway without help.
6. KEEP STEP IN MENTAL DEVELOPMENT.--A tree that grows for forty years
may take all the sunlight from a tree that stops growing at twenty.
7. KEEP A LIVELY INTEREST IN THE BUSINESS OF THE HOME.--Two that do
not pull together are weaker than either alone.
8. GAUGE YOUR EXPENSES BY YOUR REVENUES.--Love must eat. The sheriff
often levies on Cupid long before he takes away the old furniture.
9. START FROM WHERE YOUR PARENTS STARTED RATHER THAN FROM WHERE THEY
NOW ARE.--Hollow and showy boarding often furnishes the too strong
temptation, while the quietness of a humble home would cement the
hearts beyond risk.
10. AVOID DEBT.--Spend your own money, but earn it first, then it will
not be necessary to blame any one for spending other people's.
11. DO NOT BOTH GET ANGRY AT THE SAME TIME.--Remember, it takes two to
quarrel.
12. DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF EVER TO COME TO AN OPEN RUPTURE.--Things
unsaid need less repentance.
13. STUDY TO CONFORM YOUR TASTES AND HABITS TO THE TASTES AND HABITS
OF YOUR COMPANION.--If two walk together, they must agree.
* * * * *
HOW TO BE A GOOD WIFE.
1. REVERENCE YOUR HUSBAND.--He sustains by God's order a position of
dignity as head of a family, head of the woman. Any breaking down
of this order indicates a mistake in the union, or a digression from
duty.
2. LOVE HIM.--A wife loves as naturally as the sun shines. Love is
your best weapon. You conquered him with that in the first place. You
can reconquer by the same means.
3. DO NOT CONCEAL YOUR LOVE FROM HIM.--If he is crowded with care, and
too busy to seem to heed your love, you need to give all the greater
attention to securing his knowledge of your love. If you intermit he
will settle down into a hard, cold life with increased rapidity. Your
example will keep the light on his conviction. The more he neglects
the fire on the hearth, the more carefully must you feed and guard
it. It must not be allowed to go out. Once out you must sit ever in
darkness and in the cold.
4. CULTIVATE THE MODESTY AND DELICACY OF YOUR YOUTH.--The relations
and familiarity of wedded life may seem to tone down the sensitive
and retiring instincts of girlhood, but nothing can compensate for the
loss of these. However, much men may admire the public performance of
gifted women, they do not desire that boldness and dash in a wife.
The holy blush of a maiden's modesty is more powerful in hallowing and
governing a home than the heaviest armament that ever a warrior bore.
5. CULTIVATE PERSONAL ATTRACTIVENESS.--This means the storing of your
mind with a knowledge of passing events, and with a good idea of the
world's general advance. If you read nothing, and make no effort to
make yourself attractive, you will soon sink down into a dull hack of
stupidity. If your husband never hears from you any words of wisdom,
or of common information, he will soon hear nothing from you. Dress
and gossips soon wear out. If your memory is weak, so that it hardly
seems worth while to read, that is additional reason for reading.
[Illustration: TALKING BEFORE MARRIAGE.]
6. CULTIVATE PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS.--When you were encouraging the
attentions of him whom you now call husband, you did not neglect any
item of dress or appearance that could help you. Your hair was always
in perfect training. You never greeted him with a ragged or untidy
dress or soiled hands. It is true that your "market is made," but you
cannot afford to have it "broken." Cleanliness and good taste will
attract now as they did formerly. Keep yourself at your best. Make
the most of physical endowments. Neatness and order break the power of
poverty.
7. STUDY YOUR HUSBAND'S CHARACTER.--He has his peculiarities. He has
no right to many of them, and you need to know them; thus you can
avoid many hours of friction. The good pilot steers around the sunken
rocks that lie in the channel. The engineer may remove them, not the
pilot. You are more pilot than engineer. Consult his tastes. It is
more important to your home, that you should please him than anybody
else.
8. PRACTICE ECONOMY.--Many families are cast out of peace into
grumbling and discord by being compelled to fight against poverty.
When there are no great distresses to be endured or accounted for,
complaint and fault-finding are not so often evoked. Keep your husband
free from the annoyance of disappointed creditors, and he will be more
apt to keep free from annoying you. To toil hard for bread, to fight
the wolf from the door, to resist impatient creditors, to struggle
against complaining pride at home, is too much to ask of one man. A
crust that is your own is a feast, while a feast that is purloined
from unwilling creditors if a famine.
* * * * *
HOW TO BE A GOOD HUSBAND.
1. SHOW YOUR LOVE.--All life manifests itself. As certainly as a live
tree will put forth leaves in the spring, so certainly will a living
love show itself. Many a noble man toils early and late to earn bread
and position for his wife. He hesitates at no weariness for her sake.
He justly thinks that such industry and providence give a better
expression of his love than he could by caressing her and letting the
grocery bills go unpaid. He fills the cellar and pantry. He drives and
pushes his business. He never dreams that he is actually starving his
wife to death. He may soon have a woman left to superintend his home,
but his wife is dying. She must be kept alive by the same process that
called her into being. Recall and repeat the little attentions and
delicate compliments that once made you so agreeable, and that fanned
her love into a consuming flame. It is not beneath the dignity of the
skillful physician to study all the little symptoms, and order all the
little round of attentions that check the waste of strength and brace
the staggering constitution. It is good work for a husband to cherish
his wife.
[Illustration: TALKING AFTER MARRIAGE.]
2. CONSULT WITH YOUR WIFE.--She is apt to be as right as you are, and
frequently able to add much to your stock of wisdom. In any event she
appreciates your attentions.
3. STUDY TO KEEP HER YOUNG.--It can be done. It is not work, but
worry, that wears. Keep a brave, true heart between her and all harm.
4. HELP TO BEAR HER BURDENS.--Bear one another's burdens, and so
fulfill the law of love. Love seeks opportunities to do for the loved
object. She has the constant care of your children. She is ordained
by the Lord to stand guard over them. Not a disease can appear in the
community without her taking the alarm. Not a disease can come over
the threshold without her instantly springing into the mortal combat.
If there is a deficiency anywhere it comes out of her pleasure. Her
burdens are everywhere. Look for them, that you may lighten them.
5. MAKE YOURSELF HELPFUL BY THOUGHTFULNESS.--Remember to bring into
the house your best smile and sunshine. It is good for you, and it
cheers up the home. There is hardly a nook in the house that has not
been carefully hunted through to drive out everything that might annoy
you. The dinner which suits, or ought to suit you, has not come on the
table of itself. It represents much thoughtfulness and work. You can
do no more manly thing than find some way of expressing, in word or
look, your appreciation of it.
6. EXPRESS YOUR WILL, NOT BY COMMANDS, BUT BY SUGGESTIONS.--It is
God's order that you should be the head of the family. You are clothed
with authority. But this does not authorize you to be stern and harsh,
as an officer in the army. Your authority is the dignity of love.
When it is not clothed in love it ceases to have the substance of
authority. A simple suggestion that may embody a wish, an opinion or
an argument, becomes one who reigns over such a kingdom as yours.
7. SEEK TO REFINE YOUR NATURE.--It is no slander to say that many men
have wives much more refined than themselves. This is natural in the
inequalities of life. Other qualities may compensate for any defect
here. But you need have no defect in refinement. Preserve the
gentleness and refinement of your wife as a rich legacy for your
children, and in so doing you will lift yourself to higher levels.
8. BE A GENTLEMAN AS WELL AS A HUSBAND.--The signs and bronze and
callouses of toil are no indications that you are not a gentleman.
The soul of gentlemanliness is a kindly feeling toward others, that
prompts one to secure their comfort. That is why the thoughtful
peasant lover is always so gentlemanly, and in his love much above
himself.
9. STAY AT HOME.--Habitual absence during the evenings is sure to
bring sorrow. If your duty or business calls you you have the promise
that you will be kept in all your ways. But if you go out to mingle
with other society, and leave your wife at home alone, or with the
children and servants, know that there is no good in store for you.
She has claims upon you that you can not afford to allow to go to
protest. Reverse the case. You sit down alone after having waited
all day for your wife's return, and think of her as reveling in gay
society, and see if you can keep out all the doubts as to what takes
her away. If your home is not as attractive as you want it, you are
a principal partner. Set yourself about the work of making it
attractive.
10. TAKE YOUR WIFE WITH YOU INTO SOCIETY.--Seclusion begets
morbidness. She needs some of the life that comes from contact with
society. She must see how other people appear and act. It often
requires an exertion for her to go out of her home, but it is good for
her and for you. She will bring back more sunshine. It is wise to rest
sometimes. When the Arab stops for his dinner he unpacks his camel.
Treat your wife with as much consideration.
[Illustration]
[Illustration: TIRED OF LIFE.]
* * * * *
CAUSE OF FAMILY TROUBLES.
1. MUCH BETTER TO BE ALONE.--He who made man said it is not good for
him to be alone; but it is much better to be alone, than it is to be
in some kinds of company. Many couples who felt unhappy when they were
apart, have been utterly miserable when together; and scores who have
been ready to go through fire and water to get married, have been
willing to run the risk of fire and brimstone to get divorced. It is
by no means certain that because persons are wretched before marriage
they will be happy after it. The wretchedness of many homes, and the
prevalence of immorality and divorce is a sad commentary on the evils
which result from unwise marriages.
2. UNAVOIDABLE EVILS.--There are plenty of unavoidable evils in this
world, and it is mournful to think of the multitudes who are preparing
themselves for needless disappointments, and who yet have no fear,
and are unwilling to be instructed, cautioned or warned. To them
the experience of mature life is of little account compared with the
wisdom of ardent and enthusiastic youth.
3. MATRIMONIAL INFELICITY.--One great cause of matrimonial infelicity
is the hasty marriages of persons who have no adequate knowledge of
each other's characters. Two strangers become acquainted, and are
attracted to each other, and without taking half the trouble to
investigate or inquire that a prudent man would take before buying a
saddle horse, they are married. In a few weeks or months it is perhaps
found that one of the parties was married already, or possibly that
the man is drunken or vicious, or the woman anything but what she
should be. Then begins the bitter part of the experience: shame,
disgrace, scandal, separation, sin and divorce, all come as the
natural results of a rash and foolish marriage. A little time spent
in honest, candid, and careful preliminary inquiry and investigations
would have saved the trouble.
4. THE CLIMAX.--It has been said that a man is never utterly ruined
until he has married a bad woman. So the climax of woman's miseries
and sorrows may be said to come only when she is bound with that bond
which should be her chiefest blessing and her highest joy, but which
may prove her deepest sorrow and her bitterest curse.
5. THE FOLLY OF FOLLIES.--There are some lessons which people are very
slow to learn, and yet which are based upon the simple principles of
common-sense. A young lady casts her eye upon a young man. She says,
"I mean to have that man." She plies her arts, engages his
affections, marries him, and secures for herself a life of sorrow and
disappointment, ending perhaps in a broken up home or an early grave.
Any prudent, intelligent person of mature age, might have warned or
cautioned her; but she sought no advice, and accepted no admonition. A
young man may pursue a similar course with equally disastrous results.
6. HAP-HAZARD.--Many marriages are undoubtedly arranged by what may be
termed the accident of locality. Persons live near each other, become
acquainted, and engage themselves to those whom they never would have
selected as their companions in life if they had wider opportunities
of acquaintance. Within the borders of their limited circle they make
a selection which may be wise or may be unwise. They have no means
of judging, they allow no one else to judge for them. The results are
sometimes happy and sometimes unhappy in the extreme. It is well
to act cautiously in doing what can be done but once. It is not a
pleasant experience for a person to find out a mistake when it is too
late to rectify it.
7. WE ALL CHANGE.--When two persons of opposite sex are often thrown
together they are very naturally attracted to each other, and are
liable to imbibe the opinion that they are better fitted for life-long
companionship than any other two persons in the world. This may be the
case, or it may not be. There are a thousand chances against such a
conclusion to one in favor of it. But even if at the present moment
these two persons were fitted to be associated, no one can tell
whether the case will be the same five or ten years hence. Men change;
women change; they are not the same they were ten years ago; they are
not the same they will be ten years hence.
8. THE SAFE RULE.--Do not be in a hurry; take your time and consider
well before you allow your devotion to rule you. Study first your
character, then study the character of her whom you desire to
marry. Love works mysteriously, and if it will bear careful and cool
investigation, it will no doubt thrive under adversity. When people
marry they unite their destinies for the better or the worse. Marriage
is a contract for life and will never bear a hasty conclusion. _Never
be in a hurry_!
* * * * *
JEALOUSY--ITS CAUSE AND CURE.
Trifles, light as air
Are to the jealous confirmations strong,
As proofs of holy writ.--SHAKESPEARE.
Nor Jealousy
Was understood, the injur'd lover's hell.--MILTON
O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock
The meat it feeds on.--SHAKESPEARE.
1. DEFINITION.--Jealousy is an accidental passion, for which the
faculty indeed is unborn. In its nobler form and in its nobler motives
it arises from love, and in its lower form it arises from the deepest
and darkest Pit of Satan.
2. HOW DEVELOPED.--Jealousy arises either from weakness, which from a
sense of its own want of lovable qualities is not convinced of being
sure of its cause, or from distrust, which thinks the beloved person
capable of infidelity. Sometimes all these motives may act together.
3. NOBLEST JEALOUSY.--The noblest jealousy, if the term noble is
appropriate, is a sort of ambition or pride of the loving person who
feels it is an insult that another one should assume it as possible to
supplant his love, or it is the highest degree of devotion which sees
a declaration of its object in the foreign invasion, as it were, of
his own altar. Jealousy is always a sign that a little more wisdom
might adorn the individual without harm.
4. THE LOWEST JEALOUSY.--The lowest species of jealousy is a sort of
avarice of envy which, without being capable of love, at least wishes
to possess the object of its jealousy alone by the one party assuming
a sort of property right over the other. This jealousy, which might
be called the Satanic, is generally to be found with old withered
"husbands," whom the devil has prompted to marry young women and who
forthwith dream night and day of cuck-old's horns. These Argus-eyed
keepers are no longer capable of any feeling that could be called
love, they are rather as a rule heartless house-tyrants, and are in
constant dread that some one may admire or appreciate his unfortunate
slave.
5. WANT OF LORE.--The general conclusion will be that jealousy is more
the result of wrong conditions which cause uncongenial unions, and
which through moral corruption artificially create distrust than a
necessary accompaniment of love.
[Illustration: SEEKING THE LIFE OF A RIVAL.]
6. RESULT OF POOR OPINION.--Jealousy is a passion with which those are
most afflicted who are the least worthy of love. An innocent maiden
who enters marriage will not dream of getting jealous; but all her
innocence cannot secure her against the jealousy of her husband if he
has been a libertine. Those are wont to be the most jealous who have
the consciousness that they themselves are most deserving of jealousy.
Most men in consequence of their present education and corruption have
so poor an opinion not only of the male, but even of the female sex,
that they believe every woman at every moment capable of what they
themselves have looked for among all and have found among the most
unfortunate, the prostitutes. No libertine can believe in the purity
of woman; it is contrary to nature. A libertine therefore cannot
believe in the loyalty of a faithful wife.
7. WHEN JUSTIFIABLE.--There may be occasions where jealousy is
justifiable. If a woman's confidence has been shaken in her husband,
or a husband's confidence has been shaken in his wife by certain signs
or conduct, which have no other meaning but that of infidelity, then
there is just cause for jealousy. There must, however, be certain
proof as evidence of the wife's or husband's immoral conduct.
Imaginations or any foolish absurdities should have no consideration
whatever, and let everyone have confidence until his or her faith has
been shaken by the revelation of absolute facts.
8. CAUTION AND ADVICE.--No couple should allow their associations
to develop into an engagement and marriage if either one has any
inclination to jealousy. It shows invariably a want of sufficient
confidence, and that want of confidence, instead of being diminished
after marriage, is liable to increase, until by the aid of the
imagination and wrong interpretation the home is made a hell and
divorce a necessity. Let it be remembered, there can be no true love
without perfect and absolute confidence, jealousy is always the sign
of weakness or madness. Avoid a jealous disposition, for it is an open
acknowledgment of a lack of faith.
[Illustration]
* * * * *
THE IMPROVEMENT OF OFFSPRING.
Why Bring Into the World Idiots, Fools, Criminals and Lunatics?
1. THE RIGHT WAY.--When mankind will properly love AND marry and then
rightly generate, carry, nurse and educate their children, will they
in deed and in truth carry out the holy and happy purpose of their
Creator. See those miserable and depraved scape-goats of humanity,
the demented simpletons, the half-crazy, unbalanced multitudes
which infest our earth, and fill our prisons with criminals and
our poor-houses with paupers. Oh! the boundless capabilities and
perfections of our God-like nature and, alas! its deformities! All
is the result of the ignorance or indifference of parents. As long as
children are the accidents of lust instead of the premeditated objects
of love, so long will the offspring deteriorate and the world be
cursed with deformities, monstrosities, unhumanities and cranks.
2. EACH AFTER ITS KIND.--"Like parents like children." "In their own
image beget" they them. In what other can they? "How can a corrupt
tree bring forth good fruit?" How can animal propensities in parents
generate other than depraved children, or moral purity beget beings
other than as holy by nature as those at whose hands they received
existence and constitution?
3. AS ARE THE PARENTS, physically, mentally and morally when they
stamp their own image and likeness upon progeny, so will be the
constitution of that progeny.
4. "JUST AS THE TWIG IS BENT THE TREE'S INCLINED."--Yet the bramble
cannot be bent to bear delicious peaches, nor the sycamore to bear
grain. Education is something, _but parentage_ is _everything_;
because it "_dyes in the wool_" and thereby exerts an influence on
character almost infinitely more powerful than all other conditions
put together.
5. HEALTHY AND BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN.--Thoughtless mortal! Before
you allow the first goings forth of love, learn what the parental
conditions in you mean, and you will confer a great boon upon the
prospective bone of your bone, and flesh of your flesh! If it is in
your power to be the parent of beautiful, healthy, moral and talented
children instead of diseased and depraved, is it not your imperious
duty then, to impart to them that physical power, moral perfection,
and intellectual capability, which shall ennoble their lives and make
them good people and good citizens?
6. PAUSE AND TREMBLE.--Prospective parents! Will you trifle with
the dearest interests of your children? Will you in matters thus
momentous, head-long rush
"Where angels dare not tread,"
Seeking only mere animal indulgence?--Well might cherubim shrink from
assuming responsibilities thus momentous Yet, how many parents tread
this holy ground completely unprepared, and almost as thoughtlessly
and Ignorantly as brutes--entailing even loathsome diseases and
sensual propensities upon the fruit of their own bodies. Whereas they
are bound, by obligations the most imperious to bestow on them a
good physical organization, along with a pure, moral, and strong
intellectual constitution, or else not to become parents! Especially
since it is easier to generate human angels than devils incarnate.
7. HEREDITARY DESCENT.--This great law of things, "Hereditary
Descent," fully proves and illustrates in any required number and
variety or cases, showing that progeny inherits the constitutional
natures and characters, mental and physical, of parents, including
pre-dispositions to consumption, insanity, all sorts of disease,
etc., as well as longevity, strength, stature, looks, disposition,
talents,--all that is constitutional. From what other source do or can
they come? Indeed, who can doubt a truth as palpable as that children
inherit some, and if some, therefore all, the physical and mental
nature and constitutor of parents, thus becoming almost their
fac-similes?
8. ILLUSTRATIONS.--A whaleman was severely hurt by a harpooned and
desperate whale turning upon the small boat, and, by his monstrous
jaws, smashing it to pieces, one of which, striking him in his right
side, crippled him for life. When sufficiently recovered, he married,
according to previous engagement, and his daughter, born in due time,
and closely resembling him in looks, constitution and character, has a
weak and sore place corresponding in location with that of the injury
of her father. Tubercles have been found in the lungs of infants at
birth, born of consumptive parents,--a proof, clear and demonstrative,
that children inherit the several states of parental physiology
existing at the time they received their physiological constitution.
The same is true of the transmission of those diseases consequent
on the violation of the law of chastity, and the same conclusion
established thereby.
9. PARENT'S PARTICIPATION.--Each parent furnishing at indispensable
portion of the materials of life, and somehow or other, contributes
parentally to the formation of the constitutional character of their
joint product, appears far more reasonable, than to ascribe, as many
do, the whole to either some to paternity, others to maternity. Still
this decision go which way it may, does not affect the great fact that
children inherit both the physiology and the mentality existing in
parents at the time they received being and constitution.
10. ILLEGITIMATES OR BASTARDS also furnish strong proof of the
correctness of this our leading doctrine. They are generally lively,
sprightly, witty, frolicksome, knowing, quiet of perception, apt to
learn, full of passion, quick-tempered, impulsive throughout, hasty,
indiscreet, given to excesses, yet abound in good feeling, and are
well calculated to enjoy life, though in general sadly deficient in
some essential moral elements.
11. CHARACTER OF ILLEGITIMATES.--Wherein, then, consists this
difference? First, in "novelty lending an enchantment" rarely
experienced in sated wedlock, as well as in, power of passion
sufficient to break through all restraint, external and internal; and
hence their high wrought organization. They are usually wary and on
the alert, and their parents drank "stolen waters." They are commonly
wanting in moral balance, or else delinquent in some important moral
aspect; nor would they have ever been born unless this had been the
case, for the time being at least with their parents. Behold in these,
and many other respects easily cited, how striking the coincidence
between their characters on the one hand, and, on the other, those
parental conditions necessarily attendant on their origin.
12. CHILDREN'S CONDITION depends upon parents' condition at the time
of the sexual embrace. Let parents recall, as nearly as may be their
circumstances and states of body and mind at this period, and place
them by the side of the physical and mental constitutions of their
children, and then say whether this law is not a great practical
truth, and if so, its importance is as the happiness and misery it is
capable of affecting! The application of this mighty engine of good or
evil to mankind, to the promotion of human advancement, is the great
question which should profoundly interest all parents.
13. THE VITAL PERIOD.--The physical condition of parents at the vital
period of transmission of life should be a perfect condition of health
in both body and mind, and a vigorous condition of all the animal
organs and functions.
14. MUSCULAR PREPARATION.--Especially should parents cultivate their
muscular system preparatory to the perfection of this function, and of
their children; because, to impart strength and stamina to offspring
they must of necessity both possess a good muscular organization,
and also bring it into vigorous requisition at this period. For this
reason, if for no other, let those of sedentary habits cultivate
muscular energy preparatory to this time of need.
15. THE SEED.--So exceedingly delicate are the seeds of life, that,
unless planted in a place of perfect security, they must all be
destroyed and our race itself extinguished. And what place is as
secure as that chosen, where they can be reached only with the utmost
difficulty, and than only as the peril of even life itself? Imperfect
seed sown in poor ground means a sickly harvest.
16. HEALTHY PEOPLE--MOST CHILDREN.--The most healthy classes have
the most numerous families; but that, as luxury enervates society, it
diminishes the population, by enfeebling parents, nature preferring
none rather than those too weakly to live and be happy, and thereby
rendering that union unfruitful which is too feeble to produce
offspring sufficiently strong to enjoy life. Debility and disease
often cause barrenness. Nature seems to rebel against sickly
offspring.
17. WHY CHILDREN DIE.--Inquire whether one or both the parents of
those numerous children that die around us, have not weak lungs, or a
debilitated stomach, or a diseased liver, or feeble muscles, or else
use them but little, or disordered nerves, or some other debility or
form of disease. The prevalence of summer complaints, colic, cholera
infantum, and other affections of these vital organs of children is
truly alarming, sweeping them into their graves by the million.
Shall other animals rear nearly all their young, and shall man,
constitutionally by far the strongest of them all, lose half or more
of his? is this the order of nature? No, but their death-worm is born
in and with them, and by parental agency.
18. GRAVE-YARD STATISTICS.--Take grave-yard statistics in August, and
then say, whether most of the deaths of children are not caused by
indigestion, or feebleness of the bowels, liver, etc., or
complaints growing out of them? Rather, take family statistics from
broken-hearted parents! And yet, in general, those very parents
who thus suffer more than words can tell, were the first and main
transgressors, because they entailed those dyspeptic, heart, and other
kindred affections so common among American parents upon their own
children, and thereby almost as bad as killed them by inches; thus
depriving them of the joys of life, and themselves of their greatest
earthly treasure!
19. ALL CHILDREN MAY DIE.--Children may indeed die whose parents are
healthy, but they almost must whose parents are essentially ailing in
one or more of their vital organs; because, since they inherit this
organ debilitated or diseased, any additional cause of sickness
attacks this part first, and when it gives out, all go by the board
together.
20. PARENTS MUST LEARN AND OBEY.--How infinitely more virtuous and
happy would your children be if you should be healthy in body, and
happy in mind, so as to beget in them a constitutionally healthy and
vigorous physiology, along with a serene and happy frame of mind!
Words are utterly powerless in answer, and so is everything but a
lifetime of consequent happiness or misery! Learn and obey, then,
the laws of life and health, that you may both reap the rich reward
yourself, and also shower down upon your children after you, blessings
many and most exalted. Avoid excesses of all kinds, be temperate,
take good care of the body and avoid exposures and disease, and your
children will be models of health and beauty.
21. THE RIGHT CONDITION.--The great practical inference is, that those
parents who desire intellectual and moral children, must love each
other; because, this love, besides perpetually calling forth and
cultivating their higher faculties, awakens them to the highest pitch
of exalted action in that climax, concentration, and consummation of
love which propagates their existing qualities, the mental endowment
of offspring being proportionate to the purity and intensity of
parental love.
22. THE EFFECTS.--The children of affectionate parents receive
existence and constitution when love has rendered the mentality of
their parents both more elevated and more active than it is by nature,
of course the children of loving parents are both more intellectual
and moral by nature than their parents. Now, if these children and
their companions also love one another, this same law which renders
the second generation better than the first, will of course render
the third still better than the second, and thus of all succeeding
generations.
23. ANIMAL IMPULSE.--You may preach and pray till doomsday--may
send out missionaries, may circulate tracts and Bibles, and multiply
revivals and all the means of grace, with little avail; because, as
long as mankind go on, as now, to propagate by animal impulse, so long
must their offspring be animal, sensual, devilish! But only induce
parents cordially to love each other, and you thereby render their
children constitutionally talented and virtuous. Oh! parents, by as
much as you prefer the luxuries of concord to the torments of discord,
and children that are sweet dispositioned and highly intellectual to
those that are rough wrathful, and depraved, be entreated to "_love
one another_."
[Illustration: JUST HOME FROM SCHOOL.]
* * * * *
TOO MANY CHILDREN.
1. LESSENING PAUPERISM.--Many of the agencies for lessening pauperism
are afraid of tracing back its growth to the frequency of births under
wretched conditions. One begins to question whether after all sweet
charity or dignified philanthropy has not acted with an unwise
reticence. Among the problems which defy practical handling this is
the most complicated. The pauperism which arises from marriage is the
result of the worst elements of character legalized. In America,
where the boundaries of wedlock are practically boundless, it is
not desirable, even were it possible, that the state should regulate
marriage much further than it now does; therefore must the sociologist
turn for aid to society in his struggle with pauperism.
2. RIGHT PHYSICAL AND SPIRITUAL CONDITIONS OF BIRTH.--Society should
insist upon the right spiritual and physical conditions for birth.
It should be considered more than "a pity" when another child is born
into a home too poor to receive it. The underlying selfishness of such
an event should be recognized, for it brings motherhood under wrong
conditions of health and money. Instead of each birth being the result
of mature consideration and hallowed loves children are too often born
as animals are born. To be sure the child has a father whom he can
call by name. Better that there had never been a child.
3. WRONG RESULTS.--No one hesitates to declare that if is want of
self-respect and morality which brings wrong results outside of
marriage, but it is also the want of them which begets evil inside the
marriage relation. Though there is nothing more difficult than to
find the equilibrium between self-respect and self-sacrifice, yet on
success in finding it depends individual and national preservation.
The fact of being wife and mother or husband and father should imply
dignity and joyousness, no matter how humble the home.
4. DIFFERENCE OF OPINION AMONGST PHYSICIANS.--In regard to teaching,
the difficulties are great. As soon as one advances beyond the
simplest subjects of hygiene, one is met with the difference of
opinions among physicians. When each one has a different way of making
a mustard plaster, no wonder that each has his own notions about
everything else. One doctor recommends frequent births, another
advises against them.
5. DIFFERENT NATURES.--If physiological facts are taught to a large
class, there are sure to be some in it whose impressionable natures
are excited by too much plain speaking, while there are others who
need the most open teaching in order to gain any benefit. Talks to a
few persons generally are wiser than popular lectures. Especially are
talks needed by mothers and unmothered girls who come from everywhere
to the city.
6. BOYS AND YOUNG MEN.--It is not women alone who require the shelter
of organizations and instruction, but boys and young men. There is
no double standard of morality, though the methods of advocating it
depend upon the sex which is to be instructed. Men are more concerned
with the practical basis of morality than with its sentiment, and
with the pecuniary aspects of domestic life than with its physical
and mental suffering. We all may need medicine for moral ills, yet the
very intangibleness of purity makes us slow to formulate rules for its
growth. Under the guidance of the wise in spirit and knowledge, much
can be done to create a higher standard of marriage and to proportion
the number of births according to the health and income of parents.
7. FOR THE SAKE OF THE STATE.--If the home exists primarily for the
sake of the individual, it exists secondarily for the sake of the
state. Therefore, any home into which are continually born the
inefficient children of inefficient parents, not only is a discomfort
in itself, but it also furnishes members for the armies of the
unemployed, which are tinkering and hindering legislation and
demanding by the brute force of numbers that the state shall support
them.
8. OPINIONS FROM HIGH AUTHORITIES.--In the statements and arguments
made in the above we have not relied upon our own opinions and
convictions, but have consulted the best authorities, and we hereby
quote some of the highest authorities upon this subject.
9. REV. LEONARD DAWSON.--"How rapidly conjugal prudence might lift a
nation out of pauperism was seen in France.--Let them therefore
hold the maxim that the production of offspring with forethought and
providence is rational nature. It was immoral to bring children into
the world whom they could not reasonably hope to feed, clothe and
educate."
10. MRS. FAWCETT.--"Nothing will permanently offset pauperism while
the present reckless increase of population continues."
11. DR. GEORGE NAPHEYS.--"Having too many children unquestionably has
its disastrous effects on both mother and children as known to every
intelligent physician. Two-thirds of all cases of womb disease, says
Dr. Tilt, are traceable to child-bearing in feeble women. There are
also women to whom pregnancy is a nine months' torture, and others to
whom it is nearly certain to prove fatal. Such a condition cannot
be discovered before marriage--The detestable crime of abortion is
appallingly rife in our day. It is abroad in our land to an extent
which would have shocked the dissolute women of pagan RomeS--This
wholesale, fashionable murder, how are we to stop it? Hundreds of vile
men and women in our large cities subsist by this slaughter of the
innocent."
12. REV. H.R. HAWEIS.--"Until it is thought a disgrace in every rank
of society, from top to bottom of social scale, to bring into the
world more children than you are able to provide for, the poor man's
home, at least, must often be a purgatory--his children dinnerless,
his wife a beggar--himself too often drunk--here, then, are the real
remedies: first, control the family growth according to the family
means of support."
13. MONTAGUE COOKSON.--"The limitation of the number of the family--is
as much the duty of married persons as the observance of chastity is
the duty of those that are unmarried."
14. JOHN STUART MILL.--"Every one has aright to live. We will suppose
this granted. But no one has a right to bring children into life to
be supported by other people. Whoever means to stand upon the first
of these rights must renounce all pretension to the last. Little
improvement can be expected in morality until the production of a
large family is regarded in the same light as drunkenness or any other
physical excess."
15. DR. T.D. NICHOLLS.--"In the present social state, men and women
should refrain from having children unless they see a reasonable
prospect of giving them suitable nurture and education."
16. REV. M.J. SAVAGE.--"Some means ought to be provided for checking
the birth of sickly children."
17. DR. STOCKHAM.--"Thoughtful minds must acknowledge the great wrong
done when children are begotten under adverse conditions. Women must
learn the laws of life so as to protect themselves, and not be the
means of bringing sin-cursed, diseased children into the world. The
remedy is in the prevention of pregnancy, not in producing abortion."
* * * * *
SMALL FAMILIES AND THE IMPROVEMENT OF THE RACE.
1. MARRIED PEOPLE MUST DECIDE FOR THEMSELVES.--It is the fashion of
those who marry nowadays to have few children, often none. Of course
this is a matter which married people must decide for themselves. As
is stated in an earlier chapter, sometimes this policy is the wisest
that can be pursued.
2. Diseased people who are likely to beget only a sickly offspring,
may follow this course, and so may thieves, rascals, vagabonds, insane
and drunken persons, and all those who are likely to bring into the
world beings that ought not to be here. But why so many well-to-do
folks should pursue a policy adapted only to paupers and criminals,
is not easy to explain. Why marry at all if not to found a family that
shall live to bless and make glad the earth after father and mother
are gone? It is not wise to rear too many children, nor is it wise to
have too few. Properly brought up, they will make home a delight, and
parents happy.
[Illustration: A WELL NOURISHED CHILD.]
3. POPULATION LIMITED.--Galton, in his great work on hereditary
genius, observes that "the time may hereafter arrive in far distant
years, when the population of this earth shall be kept as strictly
within bounds of number and suitability of race, as the sheep of a
well-ordered moor, or the plants in an orchard-house; in the meantime
let us do what we can to encourage the multiplication of the
races best fitted to invent and conform to a high and generous
civilization."
4. SHALL SICKLY PEOPLE RAISE CHILDREN?--The question whether sickly
people should marry and propagate their kind, is briefly alluded to
in an early chapter of this work. Where father and mother are both
consumptive the chances are that the children will inherit physical
weakness, which will result in the same disease, unless great pains
are taken to give them a good physical education, and even then the
probabilities are that they will find life a burden hardly worth
living.
5. NO REAL BLESSING.--Where one parent is consumptive and the other
vigorous, the chances are just half as great. If there is a scrofulous
or consumptive taint in the blood, beware! Sickly children are no
comfort to their parents, no real blessing. If such people marry, they
had better, in most cases, avoid parentage.
6. WELFARE OF MANKIND.--The advancement of the welfare of mankind is a
most intricate problem: all ought to refrain from marriage who cannot
avoid abject poverty for their children; for poverty is not only a
great evil, but tends to its own increase by leading to recklessness
in marriage. On the other hand, as Mr. Galton has remarked, if the
prudent avoid marriage, while the reckless marry, the inferior members
will tend to supplant the better members of society.
7. PREVENTIVES.--Remember that the thousands of preventives which
are advertised in papers, private circulars, etc., are not only
inefficient, unreliable and worthless, but positively dangerous, and
the annual mortality of females in this country from this cause alone
is truly horrifying. Study nature, and nature's laws alone will guide
you safely in the path of health and happiness.
8. NATURE'S REMEDY.--Nature in her wise economy has prepared for
overproduction, for during the period of pregnancy and nursing, and
also most of the last half of each menstrual month, woman is naturally
sterile; but this condition may become irregular and uncertain on
account of stimulating drinks or immoral excesses.
* * * * *
THE GENERATIVE ORGANS.
[Illustration: THE MALE GENERATIVE ORGANS AND THEIR STRUCTURE AND
ADAPTATION.]
1. The reproductive organs in man are the penis and testicles and
their appendages.
2. The penis deposits the seminal life germ of the male. It is
designed to fulfill the seed planting mission of human life.
3. In the accompanying illustration all the parts are named.
4. URETHRA.--The urethra performs the important mission of emptying
the bladder, and is rendered very much larger by the passion, and the
semen is propelled along through it by little layers of muscles on
each side meeting above and below. It is this canal that is inflamed
by the disease known as gonorrhoea.
5. PROSTATE GLAND.--The prostate gland is located just before the
bladder. It swells in men who have previously overtaxed it, thus
preventing all sexual intercourse, and becomes very troublesome to
void urine. This is a very common trouble in old age.
6. THE PENAL GLAND.--The penal gland, located at the end of the penis,
becomes unduly enlarged by excessive action and has the consistency of
India rubber. It is always enlarged by erection. It is this gland at
the end that draws the semen forward. It is one of the most essential
and wonderful constructed glands of the human body.
7. FEMALE MAGNETISM.--When the male organ comes in contact with female
magnetism, the natural and proper excitement takes place. When excited
without this female magnetism it becomes one of the most serious
injuries to the human body. The male organ was made for a high and
holy purpose, and woe be to him who pollutes his manhood by practicing
the secret vice. He pays the penalty in after years either by the
entire loss of sexual power, or by the afflictions of various urinary
diseases.
8. NATURE PAYS all her debts, and when there is an abuse of organ,
penalties must follow. If the hand is thrust into the fire it will be
burnt.
* * * * *
THE FEMALE SEXUAL ORGANS.
1. The generative or reproductive organs of the human female are
usually divided into the internal and external. Those regarded as
internal are concealed from view and protected within the body. Those
that can be readily perceived are termed external. The entrance of the
vagina may be stated as the line of demarcation of the two divisions.
[Illustration: ANATOMY OR STRUCTURE OF THE FEMALE ORGANS OF
GENERATION.]
2. HYMEN OR VAGINAL VALVE.--This is a thin membrane of half moon shape
stretched across the opening of the vagina. It usually contains before
marriage one or more small openings for the passage of the menses.
This membrane has been known to cause much distress in many females at
the first menstrual flow. The trouble resulting from the openings
in the hymen not being large enough to let the flow through and
consequently blocking up the vaginal canal, and filling the entire
internal sexual organs with blood; causing paroxysms and hysterics and
other alarming symptoms. In such cases the hymen must be ruptured that
a proper discharge may take place at once.
[Illustration: Impregnated Egg. In the first formation of Embryo.]
3. UNYIELDING HYMEN.--The hymen is usually ruptured by the first
sexual intercourse, but sometimes it is so unyielding as to require
the aid of a knife before coition can take place.
4. THE PRESENCE OF THE HYMEN was formerly considered a test of
virginity, but this theory is no longer held by competent authorities,
as disease or accidents or other circumstances may cause its rupture.
5. THE OVARIES.--The ovaries are little glands for the purpose of
forming the female ova or egg. They are not fully developed until the
period of puberty, and usually are about the size of a large chestnut.
The are located in the broad ligaments between the uterus and the
Fallopian tubes. During pregnancy the ovaries change position; they
are brought farther into the abdominal cavity as the uterus expands.
6. OFFICE OF THE OVARY.--The ovary is to the female what the testicle
is to the male. It is the germ vitalizing organ and the most essential
part of the generative apparatus. The ovary is not only an organ for
the formation of the ova, but is also designed for their separation
when they reach maturity.
7. FALLOPION TUBES.--These are the ducts that lead from the ovaries to
the uterus. They are entirely detached from the glands or ovaries, and
are developed on both sides of the body.
8. OFFICE OF THE FALLOPIAN TUBES.--The Fallopian tubes have a double
office: receiving the ova from the ovaries and conducting it into
the uterus, as well as receiving the spermatic fluid of the male and
conveying it from the uterus in the direction of the ovaries, the
tubes being the seat of impregnation.
[Illustration: OVUM.]
9. STERILITY IN FEMALES.--Sterility in the female is sometimes caused
by a morbid adhesion of the tube to a portion of the ovary. By what
power the mouth of the tube is directed toward a particular portion
of an ovary, from which the ovum is about to be discharged, remains
entirely unknown, as does also the precise nature of the cause which
effects this movement.
[Illustration: Ripe Ovum from the Ovary.]
* * * * *
THE MYSTERIES OF THE FORMATION OF LIFE.
1. SCIENTIFIC THEORIES.--Darwin, Huxley, Haeckel, Tyndall, Meyer,
and other renowned scientists, have tried to find the _missing link_
between man and animal; they have also exhausted their genius in
trying to fathom the mysteries of the beginning of life, or find where
the animal and mineral kingdoms unite to form life; but they have
added to the vast accumulation of theories only, and the world is but
little wiser on this mysterious subject.
2. PHYSIOLOGY.--Physiology has demonstrated what physiological changes
take place in the germination and formation of life, and how nature
expresses the intentions of reproduction by giving animals distinctive
organs with certain secretions for this purpose, etc. All the
different stages of development can be easily determined, but how and
why life takes place under such special condition and under no other,
is an unsolved mystery.
3. OVARIES.--The ovaries are the essential parts of the generative
system of the human female in which ova are matured. There are two
ovaries, one on each side of the uterus, and connected with it by the
Fallopian tubes. They are egg-shaped, about an inch in diameter, and
furnish the germs or ovules. These germs or ovules are very small,
measuring about 1/120 of an inch in diameter.
4. DEVELOPMENT.--The ovaries develop with the growth of the female, so
that finally at the period of puberty they ripen and liberate an
ovum or germ vesicle, which is carried into the uterine cavity of the
Fallopian tubes. By the aid of the microscope we find that these ova
are composed of granular substance, in which is found a miniature yolk
surrounded by a transparent membrane called the zona pellucida. This
yolk contains a germinal vesicle in which can be discovered a nucleus,
called the germinal spot. The process of the growth of the ovaries is
very gradual, and their function of ripening and discharging one ovum
monthly into the Fallopian tubes and uterus, is not completed until
between the twelfth and fifteenth years.
5. WHAT SCIENCE KNOWS.--After the sexual embrace we know that the
sperm is lifted within the genital passages or portion of the vagina
and mouth of the uterus. The time between the deposit of the semen
and fecundation varies according to circumstances. If the sperm-cell
travels to the ovarium it generally takes from three to five days to
make the journey. As Dr. Pierce says: The transportation is aided
by the ciliary processes (little hairs) of the mucous surface of the
vaginal and uterine walls, as well as by its own vibratile movements.
The action of the cilia, under the stimulus of the sperm, seems to be
from without, inward. Even if a minute particle of sperm, less than a
drop, be left upon the margin of the external genitals of the female,
it is sufficient in amount to impregnate, and can be carried, by help
of these cilia, to the ovaries.
6. CONCEPTION.--After intercourse at the proper time the liability to
conception is very great. If the organs are in a healthy condition,
conception must necessarily follow, and no amount of prudence and the
most rigid precautions often fail to prevent pregnancy.
7. ONLY ONE ABSOLUTELY SAFE METHOD.--There is only one absolutely safe
method to prevent conception, entirely free from danger and injury to
health, and one that is in the reach of all; that is to refrain from
union altogether.
[Illustration: A EUGENIC BABY.]
* * * * *
CONCEPTION--ITS LIMITATIONS.
1. A COMMON QUESTION.--The question is often asked, "Can Conception
be prevented at all times?" Let us say right here that even if such an
interference with nature's laws were possible it is inadmissible, and
never to be justified except in cases of deformity or disease.
2. FALSE CLAIMS OF IMPOSTERS.--During the past few years a great deal
has been written on the subject, claiming that new remedies had been
discovered for the prevention of conception, etc., but these are all
money making devices to deceive the public, and enrich the pockets of
miserable and unprincipled imposters.
3. THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER.--Dr. Pancoast, an eminent authority,
says: "The truth is, there is no medicine taken internally capable of
preventing conception, and the person who asserts to the contrary, not
only speaks falsely, but is both a knave and a fool."
4. FOOLISH DREAD OF CHILDREN.--What is more deplorable and pitiable
than an old couple childless? Young people dislike the care and
confinement of children and prefer society and social entertainments
and thereby do great injustice and injury to their health. Having
children under proper circumstances never ruins the health and
happiness of any woman. In fact, womanhood is incomplete without them.
She may have a dozen or more, and still have better health than before
marriage. It is having them too close together, and when she is not in
a fit state, that her health gives way.
5. SELF-DENIAL AND FORBEARANCE.--If the husband respects his wife he
will come to her relief by exercising self-denial and forbearance, but
sometimes before the mother has recovered from the effects of bearing,
nursing and rearing one child, ere she has regained proper tone and
vigor of body and mind, she is unexpectedly overtaken, surprised by
the manifestation of symptoms which again indicate pregnancy. Children
thus begotten cannot become hardy and long-lived. But the love that
parents may feel for their posterity, by the wishes for their success,
by the hopes for their usefulness, by every consideration for their
future well-being, let them exercise caution and forbearance until
the wife becomes sufficiently healthy and enduring to bequeath her own
rugged, vital stamina to the child she bears in love.
6. A WRONG TO THE MOTHER AND CHILD.--Sometimes the mother is diseased;
the outlet from the womb, as a result of laceration by a previous
child-birth, is frequently enlarged, thus allowing conception to take
place very readily, and hence she has children in rapid succession.
Besides the wrong to the mother in having children in such rapid
succession, it is a great injustice to the babe in the womb and the
one at the breast that they should follow each other so quickly that
one is conceived while the other is nursing. One takes the vitality of
the other; neither has sufficient nourishment, and both are started in
life stunted and incomplete.
7. FEEBLE AND DISEASED PARENTS.--If the parties of a marriage are both
feeble and so adapted to each other that their children are deformed,
insane or idiots, then to beget offspring would be a flagrant wrong;
if the mother's health is in such a condition as to forbid the right
of laying the burden of motherhood upon her, then medical aid may
safely come to her relief.
8. "THE DESIRABILITY AND PRACTICABILITY of limiting offspring," says
Dr. Stockham, are the subject of frequent inquiry. Fewer and better
children are desired by right-minded parents. Many men and women, wise
in other things of the world, permit generation as a chance result
of copulation, without thought of physical or mental conditions to
be transmitted to the child. Coition, the one important act of all
others, carrying with it the most vital results, is usually committed
for selfish gratification. Many a drunkard owes his lifelong appetite
for alcohol to the fact that the inception of his life could be
traced to a night of dissipation on the part of his father. Physical
degeneracy and mental derangements are too often caused by the parents
producing offspring while laboring under great mental strain or bodily
fatigue. Drunkenness and licentiousness are frequently the heritage of
posterity. Future generations demand that such results be averted by
better prenatal influences. The world is groaning under the curse of
chance parenthood. It is due to posterity that procreation be brought
under the control of reason and conscience.
9. "IT HAS BEEN FEARED THAT A KNOWLEDGE of means to control offspring
would, if generally diffused, be abused by women; that they would
to so great an extent escape motherhood as to bring about social
disaster. This fear is not well founded. The maternal instinct is
inherent and sovereign in woman. Even the prenatal influences of a
murderous intent on the part of parents scarcely ever eradicate it.
With this natural desire for children, we believe few woman would
abuse the knowledge of privilege of controlling offspring. Although
women shrink from forced maternity, and from the bearing of children
under the great burden of suffering, as well as other adverse
conditions, it is rare to find a woman who is not greatly disappointed
if she does not, some time in her life, wear the crown of motherhood.
"An eminent lady teacher, in talking to her pupils once said, 'The
greatest calamity that can befall a woman is never to have a child.
The next greatest calamity is to have one only.' From my professional
experience I am happy to testify that more women seek to overcome
causes of sterility than to obtain knowledge of limiting the size of
the family or means to destroy the embryo. Also, if consultation for
the latter is sought, it is usually at the instigation of the husband.
Believing in the rights of unborn children, and in the maternal
instinct, I am consequently convinced that no knowledge should be
withheld that will secure proper conditions for the best parenthood."
10. THE CASE OF THE JUKE FAMILY.--We submit the following case of the
Juke family, mostly of New York state, as related by Dr. R.L. Dugdale,
when a member of the prison Association, and let the reader judge for
himself:
"It was traced out by painstaking research that from one woman called
Margaret, who, like Topsy, merely 'growed' without pedigree as a
pauper in a village of the upper Hudson, about eighty-five years ago,
there descended 673 children, grandchildren and great grandchildren,
of whom 200 were criminals of the dangerous class, 280 adult
paupers, and 50 prostitutes, while 300 children of her lineage died
prematurely. The last fact proves to what extent in this family nature
was kind to the rest of humanity in saving it from a still larger
aggregation or undesirable and costly members, for it is estimated
that the expense to the State of the descendants of Maggie was over
a million dollars, and the State itself did something also towards
preventing a greater expense by the restrain exercised upon the
criminals, paupers, and idiots of the family during a considerable
portion of their lives."
11. MODERATION.--Continence, self-control, a willingness to deny
himself--that is what is required from the husband. But a thousand
voices reach us from suffering women in all parts of the land that
this will not suffice; that men refuse thus to restrain themselves;
that it leads to a loss of domestic happiness and to illegal amour, or
it is injurious physically and morally; that, in short, such advice is
useless because impracticable.
12. NATURE'S METHOD.--To such we reply that nature herself has
provided to some extent, against overproduction. It is well known that
women, when nursing, rarely become pregnant, and for this reason, if
for no other, women should nurse their own children, and continue the
period until the child is at least nine months or a year old. However,
the nursing, if continued too long, weakens both the mother and the
child.
13. ANOTHER PROVISION OF NATURE.--For a certain period between her
monthly illness, every woman is sterile. Conception may be avoided by
refraining from coition except for this particular number of days,
and there will be no evasion of natural intercourse, no resort to
disgusting practices, and nothing degrading.
* * * * *
PRENATAL INFLUENCES.
1. DEFINITION.--By prenatal influences we mean those temporary
operations of the mind or physical conditions of the parents previous
to birth, which stamp their impress upon the new life.
2. THREE PERIODS.--We may consider this subject as one which naturally
divides itself into three periods: the preparation which precedes
conception, the mental, moral and physical conditions at the time of
conjunction, and the environment and condition of the mother during
the period of gestation.
3. PROMINENT AUTHORITIES.--A.E. Newton says: "Numerous facts indicate
that offspring may be affected and their tendencies shaped by a great
variety of influences, among which moods and influences more or less
transient may be included."
Dr. Stall says: "Prenatal influences are both subtle and potent, and
no amount of wealth or learning or influence can secure exemption from
them."
Dr. John Cowan says upon this subject: "The fundamental principles of
genius in reproduction are that, through the rightly directed wills
of the father and mother, preceding and during antenatal life, the
child's form or body, character of mind and purity of soul are formed
and established. That in its plastic state, during antenatal life,
like clay in the hands of the potter, it can be molded into absolutely
any form of body and soul the parents may knowingly desire."
4. LIKE PARENTS, LIKE CHILDREN.--It is folly to expect strong and
vigorous children from weak and sickly parents, or virtuous offspring
from impure ancestry.
Dr. James Foster Scott tells us that purity is, in fact, the crown of
all real manliness; and the vigorous and robust, who by repression of
evil have preserved their sexual potency, make the best husbands and
fathers, and they are the direct benefactors for the race by begetting
progeny who are not predisposed to sexual vitiation and bodily and
mental degeneracy.
5. BLOOD WILL TELL.--Thus we see that prenatal influences greatly
modify, if they do not wholly control, inherited tendencies. Is it
common sense to suppose that a child, begotten when the parents are
exhausted from mental or physical overwork, can be as perfect as when
the parents are overflowing with the buoyancy of life and health? The
practical farmer would not allow a domestic animal to come into his
flock or herd under imperfect physical conditions. He understands that
while "blood will tell," the temporary conditions of the animals will
also tell in the perfections or imperfections of the offspring.
6. HEALTH A LEGACY.--It is no small legacy to be endowed with perfect
health. In begetting children comparatively few people seem to think
that any care of concern is necessary to insure against ill-health or
poverty of mind. How strange our carelessness and unconcern when these
are the groundwork of all comfort and success! How few faces and forms
we see which give sign of perfect health. It is just as reasonable to
suppose that men and women can squander their fortune and still have
it left to bequeath to their children, as that parents can violate
organic laws and still retain their own strength and activity.
7. RESPONSIBILITY OF PARENTS.--Selden H. Tascott says: "Ungoverned
passions in the parents may unloose the furies of unrestrained madness
in the minds of their children. Even untempered religious enthusiasm
may beget a fanaticism that can not be restrained within the limits of
reason."
In view of the preceding statements, what a responsibility rests upon
the parents! No step in the process of parentage is unimportant. From
the lovers first thought of marriage to the birth of the child, every
step of the way should be paved with the snow-white blossoms of pure
thought. Kindly words and deeds should bind the prospective parents
more closely together. Not mine and thine, but ours, should be the
bond of sympathy. Each should be chaste in thought and word and deed
as was Sir Galahad, who went in search of the Holy Grail, saying:
"My strength is as the strength of ten,
Because my heart is pure."
[Illustration: DR. HALL'S SYRINGE. No. 1 Gives a Whirling Spray and No.
2 Also Whirling Spray.
Price of No. 1 is $1.50 and of No. 2, $3.00. To readers of this book
the publishers will send No. 1 for $1.20 and No. 2 for $2.25 postpaid.
Dr. Hall's is larger and made of highest grade red rubber and its
action is very effective.]
* * * * *
VAGINAL CLEANLINESS.
1. The above syringes are highly recommended by physicians as vaginal
cleansers. They will be found a great relief in health or sickness,
and in many cases cure barrenness or other diseases of the womb.
2. CLEANLINESS.--Cleanliness is next to godliness. Without cleanliness
the human body is more or less defiled and repulsive. A hint to
the wise is sufficient. The vagina should be cleansed with the same
faithfulness as any other portion of the body.
3. TEMPERATURE OF THE WATER.--Those not accustomed to use vaginal
injections would do well to use water milk-warm at the commencement;
after this the temperature may be varied according to circumstances.
In case of local inflammation use hot water. The indiscriminate use of
cold water injections will be found rather injurious than beneficial,
and a woman in feeble health will always find warm water invigorating
and preferable.
4. LEUCORRHOEA.--In case of persistent leucorrhoea use the temperature
of water from seventy-two to eighty-five degrees Fahrenheit.
5. THE CLEANSER will greatly stimulate the health and spirits of any
woman who uses it. Pure water injections have a stimulating effect,
and it seems to invigorate the entire body.
6. SALT AND WATER INJECTIONS.--This will cure mild cases of
leucorrhoea. Add a teaspoonful of salt to a pint and a half of water
at the proper temperature. Injections may be repeated daily if deemed
necessary.
7. SOAP AND WATER.--Soap and water is a very simple domestic remedy,
and will many times afford relief in many diseases of the womb. It
seems it thoroughly cleanses the parts. A little borax or vinegar may
be used the same as salt water injections. (See No. 6.)
8. HOLES IN THE TUBES.--Most of the holes in the tubes of syringes are
too small. See that they are sufficiently large to produce thorough
cleansing.
9. INJECTIONS DURING THE MONTHLY FLOW.--Of course it is not proper to
arrest the flow, and the injections will stimulate a healthy action
of the organs. The injections may be used daily throughout the monthly
flow with much comfort and benefit. If the flow is scanty and painful
the injections may be as warm as they can be comfortably borne. If the
flowing is immoderate, then cool water may be used. A woman will soon
learn her own condition and can act accordingly.
10. BLOOM AND GRACE OF YOUTH.--The regular bathing of the body will
greatly improve woman's beauty. Remember that a perfect complexion
depends upon the healthy action of all the organs. Vaginal injections
are just as important as the bath. A beautiful woman must not only
be cleanly, but robust and healthy. There can be no perfect beauty
without good health.
[Illustration]
[Illustration: Trying On a New Dress.]
* * * * *
IMPOTENCE AND STERILITY.
1. Actual impotence during the period of manhood is a very rare
complaint, and nature very unwillingly, and only after the absolute
neglect of sanitary laws, gives up the power of reproduction.
2. Not only sensual women, but all without exception, feel deeply
hurt, and are repelled by the husband whom they may previously have
loved dearly, when, after entering the married state, they find that
he is impotent. The more inexperienced and innocent they were at
the time of marriage, the longer it often is before they find that
something is lacking in the husband; but, once knowing this, the wife
infallibly has a feeling of contempt and aversion for him though there
are many happy families where this defect exists. It is often very
uncertain who is the weak one, and no cause for separation should be
sought.
3. Unhappy marriages, barrenness, divorces, and perchance an
occasional suicide, may be prevented by the experienced physician, who
can generally give correct information, comfort, and consolation, when
consulted on these delicate matters.
4. When a single man fears that he is unable to fulfill the duties
of marriage, he should not marry until his fear is dispelled. The
suspicion of such a fear strongly tends to bring about the very
weakness which he dreads. Go to a good physician (not to one of those
quacks whose advertisements you see in the papers; they are invariably
unreliable), and state the case fully and freely.
5. Diseases, malformation, etc., may cause impotence. In case of
malformation there is usually no remedy, but in case of disease it is
usually within the reach of a skillful physician.
6. Self-abuse and spermatorrhoea produce usually only temporary
impotence and can generally be relieved by carrying out the
instructions given elsewhere in this book.
7. Excessive indulgences often enfeeble the powers and often result in
impotence. Dissipated single men, professional libertines, and married
men who are immoderate, often pay the penalty of their violations
of the laws of nature, by losing their vital power. In such cases of
excess there may be some temporary relief, but as age advances the
effects of such indiscretion will become more and more manifest.
8. The condition of sterility in man may arise either from a condition
of the secretion which deprives it of its fecundating powers or it may
spring from a malformation which prevents it reaching the point where
fecundation takes place. The former condition is most common in old
age, and is a sequence of venereal disease, or from a change in the
structure or functions of the glands. The latter has its origin in a
stricture, or in an injury, or in that condition technically known as
hypospadias, or in debility.
9. It can be safely said that neither self-indulgence nor
spermatorrhoea often leads to permanent sterility.
10. It is sometimes, however, possible, even where there is sterility
in the male, providing the secretion is not entirely devoid of life
properties on part of the husband, to have children, but these are
exceptions.
11. No man need hesitate about matrimony on account of sterility,
unless that condition arises from a permanent and absolute
degeneration of his functions.
12. Impotence from mental and moral causes often takes place. Persons
of highly nervous organization may suffer incapacity in their sexual
organs. The remedy for these difficulties is rest and change of
occupation.
13. REMEDIES IN CASE OF IMPOTENCE ON ACCOUNT OF FORMER PRIVATE
DISEASES, OR MASTURBATION, OR OTHER CAUSES.--First build up the body
by taking some good stimulating tonics. The general health is the most
essential feature to be considered, in order to secure restoration
of the sexual powers. Constipation must be carefully avoided. If the
kidneys do not work in good order, some remedy for their restoration
must be taken. Take plenty of out-door excercise avoid horseback
riding or heavy exhaustive work.
14. FOOD AND DRINKS WHICH WEAKEN DESIRE.--All kinds of food which
cause dyspepsia or bring on constipation, diarrhea, or irritate the
bowels, alcoholic beverages, or any indigestible compound, has the
tendency to weaken the sexual power. Drunkards and tipplers suffer
early loss of vitality. Beer drinking has a tendency to irritate the
stomach and to that extent affects the private organs.
15. COFFEE.--Coffee drank excessively causes a debilitating effect
upon the sexual organs. The moderate use of coffee can be recommended,
yet an excessive habit of drinking very strong coffee will sometimes
wholly destroy vitality.
16. TOBACCO.--It is a hygienic and physiological fact that tobacco
produces sexual debility and those who suffer any weakness on that
source should carefully avoid the weed in all its forms.
17. DRUGS WHICH STIMULATE DESIRE.--There are certain medicines which
act locally on the membranes and organs of the male, and the papers
are full of advertisements of "Lost Manhood Restored", etc., but in
every case they are worthless or dangerous drugs and certain to lead
to some painful malady or death. All these patent medicines should be
carefully avoided. People who are troubled with any of these ailments
should not attempt to doctor themselves by taking drugs, but a
competent physician should be consulted. Eating rye, corn, or graham
bread, oatmeal, cracked wheat, plenty of fruit, etc. is a splendid
medicine. If that is not sufficient, then a physician should be
consulted.
18. DRUGS WHICH MODERATE DESIRE.--Among one of the most common
domestic remedies is camphor. This has stood the test for ages. Small
doses or half a grain in most instances diminishes the sensibility
of the organs of sex. In some cases it produces irritation of the
bladder. In that case it should be at once discontinued. On the whole
a physician had better be consulted. The safest drug among domestic
remedies is a strong tea made out of hops. Saltpeter, or nitrate of
potash, taken in moderate quantities are very good remedies.
[Illustration]
19. STRICTLY SPEAKING there is a distinction made between; _impotence_
and _sterility._ _Impotence_ is a loss of power to engage in the
sexual act and is common to men. It may be imperfection in the male
organ or a lack of sufficient sexual vigor to produce and maintain
erection. _Sterility_ is a total loss of capacity in the reproduction
of the species, and is common to women.
There are, however, very few causes of barrenness that cannot be
removed when the patient is perfectly developed. Sterility, in a
female, most frequently depends upon a weakness or irritability either
in the ovaries or the womb, and anything having a strengthening effect
upon either organ will remove the disability. (See page 249.)
20. "OVER-INDULGENCE in intercourse," says Dr. Hoff, "is sometimes
the cause of barrenness; this is usually puzzling to the interested
parties, inasmuch as the practices which, in their opinion, should be
the source of a numerous progeny, have the very opposite effect. By
greatly moderating their ardor, this defect may be remedied."
21. "NAPOLEON AND JOSEPHINE.--A certain adaptation between the male
and female has been regarded as necessary to conception, consisting of
some mysterious influence which one sex exerts over the other, neither
one, however, being essentially impotent or sterile. The man may
impregnate one woman and not another, and the woman will conceive by
one man and not by another. In the marriage of Napoleon Bonaparte and
Josephine no children were born, but after he had separated from the
Empress and wedded Maria Louisa of Austria, an heir soon came. Yet
Josephine had children by Beauharnais, her previous husband. But as
all is not known as to the physical condition of Josephine during her
second marriage, it cannot be assumed that mere lack of adaptability
was the cause of unfruitfulness between them. There may have been
some cause that history has not recorded, or unknown to the state
of medical science of those days. There are doubtless many cases of
apparently causeless unfruitfulness in marriage that even physicians,
with a knowledge of all apparent conditions in the parties cannot
explain; but when, as elsewhere related in this volume, impregnation
by artificial means is successfully practised, it is useless
to attribute barrenness to purely psychological and adaptative
influences."
* * * * *
PRODUCING BOYS OR GIRLS AT WILL.
1. CAN THE SEXES BE PRODUCED AT WILL?--This question has been asked in
all ages of the world. Many theories have been advanced, but science
has at last replied with some authority. The following are the best
known authorities which this age of science has produced.
2. THE AGRICULTURAL THEORY.--The agricultural theory as it may be
called, because adopted by farmers, is that impregnation occurring
within four days of the close of the female monthlies produces a girl,
because the ovum is yet immature; but that when it occurs after
the fourth day from its close, gives a boy, because this egg is now
mature; whereas after about the eighth day this egg dissolves and
passes off, so that impregnation is thereby rendered impossible, till
just before the mother's next monthly.--_Sexual Science._
3. QUEEN BEES LAY FEMALE EGGS FIRST, and male after wards. So with
hens; the first eggs laid after the tread give females, the last
males. Mares shown the stallion late in their periods drop horse colts
rather than fillies.--_Napheys._
4. IF YOU WISH FEMALES, give the male at the first sign of heat; if
males, at its end.--_Prof. Thury._
5. ON TWENTY-TWO SUCCESSIVE OCCASIONS I desired to have heifers, and
succeeded in every case. I have made in all twenty-nine experiments,
after this method, and succeeded in every one, in producing the sex I
desired.--_A Swiss Breeder._
6. THIS THURY PLAN has been tried on the farms of the Emperor of the
French with unvarying success.
7. CONCEPTION IN THE FIRST HALF of the time between the menstrual
periods produces females, and males in the latter.--_London Lancet._
8. INTERCOURSE in from two to six days after cessation of the menses
produces girls, in from nine to twelve, boys.--_Medical Reporter._
THE MOST MALE POWER and passion creates boys; female girls. This law
probably causes those agricultural facts just cited thus: Conception
right after menstruation give girls, because the female is then the
most impassioned; later, boys, because her wanting sexual warmth
leaves him the most vigorous. Mere sexual excitement, a wild, fierce,
furious rush of passion, is not only not sexual vigor, but in its
inverse ratio; and a genuine insane fervor caused by weakness; just as
a like nervous excitability indicates weak nerves instead of strong.
Sexual power is deliberate, not wild; cool, not impetuous; while all
false excitement diminishes effectiveness.--_Fowler._
[Illustration: HEALTHY CHILDREN.]
* * * * *
ABORTION OR MISCARRIAGE.
1. ABORTION OR MISCARRIAGE is the expulsion of the child from the womb
previous to six months; after that it is called premature birth.
2. CAUSES.--It may be due to a criminal act of taking medicine for
the express purpose of producing miscarriage or it may be caused by
certain medicines, severe sickness or nervousness, syphilis, imperfect
semen, lack of room in the pelvis and abdomen, lifting, straining,
violent cold, sudden mental excitement, excessive sexual intercourse,
dancing, tight lacing, the use of strong purgative medicines, bodily
fatigue, late suppers, and fashionable amusements.
3. SYMPTOMS.--A falling or weakness and uneasiness in the region of
the loins, thighs and womb, pain in the small of the back, vomiting
and sickness of the stomach, chilliness with a discharge of blood
accompanied with pain in the lower portions of the abdomen. These may
take place in a single hour, or it may continue for several days. If
before the fourth month, there is not so much danger, but the flow
of blood is generally greater. If miscarriage is the result of an
accident, it generally takes place without much warning, and the
service of a physician should at once be secured.
4. HOME TREATMENT.--A simple application of cold water externally
applied will produce relief, or cold cloths of ice, if convenient,
applied to the lower portions of the abdomen. Perfect quiet, however,
is the most essential thing for the patient. She should lie on her
back and take internally a teaspoonful of paregoric every two hours;
drink freely of lemonade or other cooling drinks, and for nourishment
subsist chiefly on chicken broth, toast, water gruel, fresh fruits,
etc. The principal homeopathic remedies for this disease are ergot and
cimicifuga, given in drop-doses of the tinctures.
5. INJURIOUS EFFECTS.--Miscarriage is a very serious difficulty, and
the health and the constitution may be permanently impaired. Any one
prone to miscarriage should adopt every measure possible to strengthen
and build up the system; avoid going up stairs or doing much heavy
lifting or hard work.
6. PREVENTION.--Practice the laws of sexual abstinence, take frequent
sitz-baths, live on oatmeal, graham bread, and other nourishing diet.
Avoid highly seasoned food, rich gravies, late suppers and the like.
[Illustration]
[Illustration: AN INDIAN FAMILY. THE SAVAGE INDIAN TEACHES US LESSONS
OF CIVILIZATION.]
* * * * *
THE MURDER OF THE INNOCENTS.
1. MANY CAUSES.--Many causes have operated to produce a corruption
of the public morals so deplorable; prominent among which may be
mentioned the facility with which divorces may be obtained in some of
the States, the constant promulgation of false ideas of marriage and
its duties by means of books, lectures, etc., and the distribution
through the mails of impure publications. But an influence not less
powerful than any of these is the growing devotion of fashion and
luxury of this age, and the idea which practically obtains to so great
an extent that pleasure, instead of the health or morals, is the great
object of life.
2. A MONSTROUS CRIME.--The abiding interest we feel in the
preservation of the morals of our country, constrains us to raise our
voice against the daily increasing practice of infanticide, especially
before birth. The notoriety that monstrous crime has obtained of late,
and the hecatombs of infants that are annually sacrificed to Moloch,
to gratify an unlawful passion, are a sufficient justification for our
alluding to a painful and delicate subject, which should "not even be
named," only to correct and admonish the wrong-doers.
3. LOCALITIES IN WHICH IT IS MOST PREVALENT.--We may observe that the
crying sin of infanticide is most prevalent In those localities where
the system of moral education has been longest neglected. This inhuman
crime might be compared to the murder of the innocents, except that
the criminals, in this case, exceed in enormity the cruelty of Herod.
4. SHEDDING INNOCENT BLOOD.--If it is a sin to take away the life even
of an enemy; if the crime of shedding innocent blood cries to heaven
for vengeance; in what language can we characterize the double guilt
of those whose souls are stained with the innocent blood of their own
unborn, unregenerated offspring?
5. THE GREATNESS OF THE CRIME.--The murder of an infant before its
birth, is, in the sight of God and the law, as great a crime as the
killing of a child after birth.
6. LEGAL RESPONSIBILITY.--Every State of the Union has made this
offense one of the most serious crimes. The law has no mercy for the
offenders that violate the sacred law of human life. It is murder of
the most cowardly character and woe to him who brings this curse upon
his head, to haunt him all the days of his or her life, and to curse
him at the day of his death.
7. THE PRODUCT OF LUST.--Lust pure and simple. The only difference
between a marriage of this character and prostitution is, that
society, rotten to its heart, pulpits afraid to cry aloud against
crime and vice, and the church conformed to the world, have made such
a profanation of marriage respectable. To put it in other words, when
two people determine to live together as husband and wife, and evade
the consequences and responsibilities of marriage, they are simply
engaged in prostitution without the infamy which attaches to that vice
and crime.
8. OUTRAGEOUS VIOLATION OF ALL LAW.--The violation of all law, both
natural and revealed, is the cool and villainous contract by which
people entering into the marital relation engage in defiance of the
laws of God and the laws of the commonwealth, that they shall be
unencumbered with a family of children. "Disguise the matter as you
will," says Dr. Pomeroy, "yet the fact remains that the first and
specific object of marriage is the rearing of a family." "Be fruitful
and multiply and replenish the earth," is God's first word to Adam
after his creation.
9. THE NATIONAL SIN.--The prevention of offspring is preeminently the
sin of America. It is fast becoming the national sin of America,
and if it is not checked, it will sooner or later be an irremediable
calamity. The sin has its roots in a low and perverted idea of
marriage, and is fostered by false standards of modesty.
10. THE SIN OF HEROD.--Do these same white-walled sepulchres of
hell know that they are committing the damning sin of Herod in the
slaughter of the innocents, and are accessories before the fact to the
crime of murder? Do women in all circles of society, when practicing
these terrible crimes realize the real danger? Do they understand that
it is undermining their health, and their constitution, and that their
destiny, if persisted in, is a premature grave just as sure as the
sun rises in the heavens? Let all beware and let the first and only
purpose be, to live a life guiltless before God and man.
11. THE CRIME OF ABORTION.--From the moment of conception a new life
commences; a new individual exists; another child is added to the
family. The mother who deliberately sets about to destroy this life,
either by want of care, or by taking drugs, or using instruments,
commits as great a crime, and is just as guilty as if she strangled
her new-born infant or as if she snatched from her own breast her six
months' darling and dashed out its brains against the wall. Its blood
is upon her head, and as sure as there is a God and a judgment, that
blood will be required of her. The crime she commits is murder, child
murder--the slaughter of a speechless, helpless being, whom it is her
duty, beyond all things else, to cherish and preserve.
12. DANGEROUS DISEASES.--We appeal to all such with earnest and with
threatening words. If they have no feeling for the fruit of their
womb, if maternal sentiment is so callous in their breasts, let them
know that such produced abortions are the constant cause of violent
and, dangerous womb diseases, and frequently of early death; that they
bring on mental weakness, and often insanity; that they are the most
certain means to destroy domestic happiness which can be adopted.
Better, far better, to bear a child every year for twenty years than
to resort to such a wicked and injurious step; better to die, if need
be, of the pangs of child-birth, than to live with such a weight of
sin on the conscience.
* * * * *
THE UNWELCOME CHILD.[Footnote: This is the title of a pamphlet written
by Henry C. Wright. We have taken some extracts from it.]
1. TOO OFTEN THE HUSBAND thinks only of his personal gratification;
he insists upon what he calls his rights(?); forces on his wife an
_unwelcome child_, and thereby often alienates her affections, if he
does not drive her to abortion.
Dr Stockham reports the following case: "A woman once consulted me who
was the mother of five children, all born within ten years. These were
puny, scrofulous, nervous and irritable. She herself was a fit subject
for doctors and drugs. Every organ in her body seemed diseased, and
every function perverted. She was dragging out a miserable existence.
Like other physicians, I had prescribed in vain for her many
maladies. One day she chanced to inquire how she could safely prevent
conception. This led me to ask how great was the danger. She said:
'Unless my husband is absent from home, few nights have been exempt
since we were married, except it may be three or four immediately
after confinement.'
"'And yet your husband loves you?'
"'O, yes, he is kind and provides for his family. Perhaps I might
love him but for this. While now--(will God forgive me?)--_I detest, I
loathe him_, and if I knew how to support myself and children, I would
leave him.'
"'Can you talk with him upon this subject?'
"'I think I can.'
"'Then there is hope, for many women cannot do that. Tell him I will
give you treatment to improve your health and if he will wait until
you can respond, _take time for the act, have it entirely mutual from
first to last_, the demand will not come so frequent.'
"'Do you think so?'
"'The experience of many proves the truth of this statement.'
"Hopefully she went home, and in six months I had the satisfaction of
knowing my patient was restored to health, and a single coition in
a month gave the husband more satisfaction than the many had done
previously, that the creative power was under control, and that my
lady could proudly say 'I love,' where previously she said 'I hate.'
"If husbands will listen, a few simple instructions will appeal to
their _common sense_, and none can imagine the gain to themselves, to
their wives and children, and their children's children. Then it may
not be said of the babes that the 'Death borders on their birth, and
their cradle stands in the grave.'"
2. WIVES! BE FRANK AND TRUE to your husbands on the subject of
maternity, and the relation that leads to it. Interchange thoughts and
feelings with them as to what nature allows or demands in regard to
these. Can maternity be natural when it is undesigned by the father
or undesired by the mother? Can a maternity be natural, healthful,
ennobling to the mother, to the child, to the father, and to the
home, when no loving, tender, anxious forethought presides over thee
relation in which it originated?--when the mother's nature loathed
and repelled it, and the father's only thought was his own selfish
gratification; the feelings and conditions of the mother, and the
health, character and destiny of the child that may result being
ignored by him. Wives! let there be a perfect and loving understanding
between you and your husbands on these matters, and great will be your
reward.
3. A WOMAN WRITES:--"There are few, vary few, wives and mothers who
could not reveal a sad, dark picture in their own experience in their
relations to their husbands and their children. Maternity, and
the relation in which it originates, are thrust upon them by their
husbands, often without regard to their spiritual or physical
conditions, and often in contempt of their earnest and urgent
entreaties. No joy comes to their heart at the conception and birth of
their children, except that which arises from the consciousness that
they have survived the sufferings wantonly and selfishly inflicted
upon them."
4. HUSBAND, WHEN MATERNITY is imposed on your wife without her
consent, and contrary to her appeal, how will her mind necessarily
be affected towards her child? It was conceived in dread and in
bitterness of spirit. Every stage of its foetal development is watched
with feeling of settled repugnance. In every step of its ante-natal
progress the child meets only with grief and indignation in the
mother. She would crush out its life, if she could. She loathed
its conception; she loathed it in every stage of its ante-natal
development. Instead of fixing her mind on devising ways and means
for the healthful and happy organization and development of her child
before it is born, and for its post natal comfort and support, her
soul may be intent on its destruction, and her thoughts devise plans
to kill it. In this, how often is she aided by others! There are
those, and they are called men and women, whose profession is to
devise ways to kill children before they are born. Those who do this
would not hesitate (but for the consequences) to kill them after
they are born, for the state of mind that would justify and instigate
_ante-natal_ child-murder would justify and instigate _post-natal_
child-murder. Yet, public sentiment consigns the murderer of
post-natal children to the dungeon or the gallows, while the murderers
of antenatal children are often allowed to pass in society as honest
and honorable men and women.
5. THE FOLLOWING IS AN EXTRACT from a letter written by one who has
proudly and nobly filled the station of a wife and mother, and whose
children and grandchildren surround her and crown her life with
tenderest love and respect:
"It has often been a matter of wonder to me that men should, so
heedlessly, and so injuriously to themselves, their wives and
children, and their homes, demand at once, as soon as they get legal
possession of their wives, the gratification of a passion, which, when
indulged merely for the sake of the gratification of the moment, must
end in the destruction of all that is beautiful, noble and divine
in man or woman. I have often felt that I would give the world for a
friendship with man that should show no impurity in its bearing,
and for a conjugal relation that would, at all times, heartily and
practically recognize the right of the wife to decide for herself when
she should enter into the relation that leads to maternity."
6. TIMELY ADVICE.--Here let me say that on no subject should a man and
woman, as they are being attracted into conjugal relations, be more
open and truthful with each other than on this. No woman, who would
save herself and the man she loves from a desecrated and wretched
home, should enter into the physical relations of marriage with a man
until she understands what he expects of her as to the function of
maternity, and the relation that leads to it. If a woman is made aware
that the man who would win her as a wife regards her and the marriage
relation only as the means of a legalized gratification of his
passions, and she sees fit to live with him as a wife, with such a
prospect before her, she must take the consequences of a course so
degrading and so shameless. If she sees fit to make an offering of her
body and soul on the altar of her husband's sensuality, she must do
it; but she has a right to know to what base uses her womanhood is to
be put, and it is due to her, as well as to himself, that he should
tell beforehand precisely what he wants and expects of her.
Too frequently, man shrinks from all allusion, during courtship, to
his expectations in regard to future passional relations. He fears to
speak of them, lest he should shock and repel the woman he would win
as a wife. Being conscious, it may be, of an intention to use power
he may acquire over her person for his own gratification, he shuns
all interchange of views with her, lest she should divine the hidden
sensualism of his soul, and his intention to victimize her person to
it the moment he shall get the license. A woman had better die at
once than enter into or continue in marriage with a man whose highest
conception of the relation is, that it is a means of licensed animal
indulgence. In such a relation, body and soul are sacrificed.
7. ONE DISTINCTIVE CHARACTERISTIC of a true and noble husband is a
feeling of manly pride in the physical elements of his manhood. His
physical manhood, as well as his soul, is dear to the heart of his
wife, because through this he can give the fullest expression of his
manly power. How can you, my friend, secure for your person the loving
care and respect of your wife? There is but one way: so manifest
yourself to her, in the hours of your most endearing intimacies,
that all your manly power shall be associated only with all that
is generous, just and noble in you, and with purity, freedom and
happiness in her. Make her feel that all which constitutes you a man,
and qualifies you to be her husband and the father of her children,
belongs to her, and is sacredly consecrated to the perfection and
happiness of her nature. Do this, and the happiness of your home is
made complete Your _body_ will be lovingly and reverently cared for,
because the wife of your bosom feels that it is the sacred symbol
through which a noble, manly love is ever speaking to her, to cheer
and sustain her.
8. WOMAN IS EVER PROUD, and justly so, of the manly passion of her
husband, when she knows it is controlled by a love for her, whose
manifestations have regard only to her elevation and happiness. The
power which, when bent only on selfish indulgence, becomes a source
of more shame, degradation, disease and wretchedness, to women and to
children than all other things put together, does but ennoble her, add
grace and glory to her being, and concentrate and vitalize the love
that encircles her as a wife when it is controlled by wisdom and
consecrated to her highest growth and happiness, and that of her
children. It lends enchantment to her person, and gives a fascination
to her smiles, her words and her caresses, which ever breathe of
purity and of heaven, and make her all lovely as a wife and mother
to her husband and the father of her child. _Manly passion is to the
conjugal love of the wife like the sun to the rose-bud, that opens its
petals, and causes them to give out their sweetest fragrance and to
display their most delicate tints; or like the frost, which chills and
kills it ere it blossoms in its richness and beauty._
9. A DIADEM OF BEAUTY.--Maternity, when it exists at the call of the
wife, and is gratefully received, but binds her heart more tenderly
and devotedly to her husband. As the father of her child, he stands
before her invested with new beauty and dignity. In receiving from him
the germ of a new life, she receives that which she feels is to add
new beauty and glory to her as a woman--a new grace and attraction to
her as a wife. She loves and honors him, because he has crowned
her with the glory of a mother. Maternity, to her, instead of being
repulsive, is a diadem of beauty, a crown of rejoicing; and deep,
tender, and self-forgetting are her love and reverence for him who
has placed it on her brow. How noble, how august, how beautiful is
maternity when thus bestowed and received!
10. CONCLUSION.--Would you, then, secure the love and trust of
your wife, and become an object of her ever-growing tenderness and
reverence? Assure her, by all your manifestations, and your perfect
respect for the functions of her nature, that your passion shall be
in subjection of her wishes. It is not enough that you have secured
in her heart respect for your spiritual and intellectual manhood. To
maintain your self-respect in your relations with her, to perfect
your growth and happiness as a husband, you must cause your _physical_
nature to be tenderly cherished and reverenced by her in all the
sacred intimacies of home. No matter how much she reverences your
intellectual or your social power, if by reason of your uncalled-for
passional manifestations you have made your physical manhood
disagreeable, how can you, in her presence, preserve a sense of manly
pride and dignity as a husband?
[Illustration]
* * * * *
HEALTH AND DISEASE.
Heredity and the Transmission of Diseases.
1. BAD HABITS.--It is known that the girl who marries the man with bad
habits, is, in a measure, responsible for the evil tendencies which
these habits have created in the children; and young people are
constantly warned of the danger in marrying when they know they come
from families troubled with chronic diseases or insanity. To be
sure the warnings have had little effect thus far in preventing such
marriages, and it is doubtful whether they will, unless the prophecy
of an extremist writing for one of our periodicals comes to pass--that
the time is not far distant when such marriages will be a crime
punishable by law.
2. TENDENCY IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.--That there is a tendency in the
right direction must be admitted, and is perhaps most clearly shown in
some of the articles on prison reform. Many of them strongly urge the
necessity of preventive work as the truest economy, and some go so far
as to say that if the present human knowledge of the laws of heredity
were acted upon for a generation, reformatory measures would be
rendered unnecessary.
3. SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES.--The mother who has ruined her health by
late hours, highly-spiced food, and general carelessness in regard to
hygienic laws, and the father who is the slave of questionable habits,
will be very sure to have children either mentally or morally inferior
to what they might otherwise have had a right to expect. But the
prenatal influences may be such that evils arising from such may be
modified to a great degree.
4. FORMATION OF CHARACTER.--I believe that pre-natal influences may
do as much in the formation of character as all the education that can
come after, and that the mother may, in a measure, "will" what that
influence shall be, and that, as knowledge on the subject increases,
it will be more and more under their control. In that, as in
everything else, things that would be possible with one mother would
not be with another, and measures that would be successful with one
would produce opposite results from the other.
5. INHERITING DISEASE. Consumption--that dread foe of modern life--is
the most frequently encountered of all affections as the result of
inherited predispositions. Indeed, some of the most eminent physicians
have believed it is never produced in any other way. Heart disease,
disease of the throat, excessive obesity, affections of the skin,
asthma, disorders of the brain and nervous system, gout, rheumatism
and cancer, are all hereditary. A tendency to bleed frequently,
profusely and uncontrollably, from trifling wounds, is often met with
as a family affection.
6. MENTAL DERANGEMENTS.--Almost all forms of mental derangements
are hereditary--one of the parents or near relation being afflicted.
Physical or bodily weakness is often hereditary, such as scrofula,
gout, rheumatism, rickets, consumption, apoplexy, hernia, urinary
calculi, hemorrhoids or piles, cataract, etc. In fact, all physical
weakness, if ingrafted in either parent, is transmitted from parents
to offspring, and is often more strongly marked in the latter than in
the former.
7. MARKS AND DEFORMITIES.--Marks and deformities are all transmissible
from parents to offspring, equally with diseases and peculiar
proclivities. Among such blemishes may be mentioned moles, hair-lips,
deficient or supernumerary fingers, toes, and other characteristics.
It is also asserted that dogs and cats that have accidentally lost
their tails, bring forth young similarly deformed. Blumenbach tells
of a man who had lost his little finger, having children with the same
deformity.
8. CAUTION.--Taking facts like these into consideration, how very
important is it for persons, before selecting partners for life, to
deliberately weigh every element and circumstances of this nature,
if they would insure a felicitous union, and not entail upon their
posterity disease, misery and despair. Alas! in too many instances
matrimony is made a matter of money, while all earthly joys are
sacrificed upon the accursed altars of lust and mammon.
[Illustration: Outdoor Sports Good Training For Morals As Well As
Health.]
* * * * *
PREPARATION FOR MATERNITY.
1. WOMAN BEFORE MARRIAGE.--It is not too much to say that the life
of women before marriage ought to be adjusted with more reference to
their duties as mothers than to any other one earthly object. It is
the continuance of the race which is the chief purpose of marriage.
The passion of amativeness is probably, on the whole, the most
powerful of all human impulses. Its purpose, however, is rather to
subserve the object of continuing the species, than merely its own
gratification.
2. EXERCISE.--Girls should be brought up to live much in the open air,
always with abundant clothing against wet and cold. They should be
encouraged to take much active exercise; as much, if they; want to, as
boys. It is as good for little girls to run and jump, to ramble in
the woods, to go boating, to ride and drive, to play and "have fun"
generally, as for little boys.
3. PRESERVE THE SIGHT.--Children should be carefully prevented from
using their eyes to read or write, or in any equivalent exertion,
either before breakfast, by dim daylight, or by artificial light. Even
school studies should be such that they can be dealt with by daylight.
Lessons that cannot be learned without lamp-light study are almost
certainly excessive. This precaution should ordinarily be maintained
until the age of puberty is reached.
4. BATHING.--Bathing should be enforced according to constitutions,
not by an invariable rule, except the invariable rule of keeping
clean. Not necessarily every day, nor necessarily in cold water;
though those conditions are doubtless often right in case of abundant
physical health and strength.
5. WRONG HABITS.--The habit of daily natural evacuations should be
solicitously formed and maintained. Words or figures could never
express the discomforts and wretchedness which wrong habits in this
particular have locked down upon innumerable women for years and even
for life.
6. DRESS.--Dress should be warm, loose, comely, and modest rather than
showy; but it should be good enough to Satisfy a child's desires after
a good appearance, if they are reasonable. Children, indeed, should
have all their reasonable desires granted as far as possible; for
nothing makes them reasonable so rapidly and so surely as to treat
them reasonably.
7. TIGHT LACING.--Great harm is often done to maidens for want of
knowledge in them, or wisdom and care in their parents. The extremes
of fashions are very prone to violate not only taste, but physiology.
Such cases are tight lacing, low necked dresses, thin shoes, heavy
skirts. And yet, if the ladies only knew, the most attractive costumes
are not the extremes of fashion, but those which conform to fashion
enough to avoid oddity, which preserve decorum and healthfulness,
whether or no; and here is the great secret of successful dress--vary
fashion so as to suit the style of the individual.
8. COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE.--Last of all, parental care in the use
of whatever influence can be exerted in the matter of courtship and
marriage. Maidens, as well as youths, must, after all, choose for
themselves. It is their own lives which they take in their hands
as they enter the marriage state, and not their parents; and as the
consequences affect them primarily it is the plainest justice that
with the responsibility should be joined the right of choice. The
parental influence, then, must be indirect and advisory. Indirect,
through the whole bringing up of their daughter; for if they have
trained her aright, she will be incapable of enduring a fool, still
more a knave.
9. A YOUNG WOMAN AND A YOUNG MAN HAD BETTER NOT BE ALONE TOGETHER VERY
MUCH UNTIL THEY ARE MARRIED.--This will be found to prevent a good
many troubles. It is not meant to imply that either sex, or any member
of it, is worse than another, or bad at all, or anything but human. It
is simply the prescription of a safe general rule. It is no more an
imputation than the rule that people had better not be left without
oversight in presence of large sums of other folks' money. The close
personal proximity of the sexes is greatly undesirable before
marriage. Kisses and caresses are most properly the monopoly of wives.
Such indulgences have a direct and powerful physiological effect. Nay,
they often lead to the most fatal results.
10. IGNORANCE BEFORE MARRIAGE.--At some time before marriage those
who are to enter into it ought to be made acquainted with some of
the plainest common-sense limitations which should govern their new
relations to each other. Ignorance in such matters has caused an
infinite amount of disgust, pain and unhappiness. It is not necessary
to specify particulars here; see other portions of this work.
[Illustration: A HEALTHY MOTHER.]
* * * * *
IMPREGNATION.
1. CONCEPTION OR IMPREGNATION.--Conception or impregnation takes
place by the union of the male sperm and female sperm. Whether this
is accomplished in the ovaries, the oviducts or the uterus, is still a
question of discussion and investigation by physiologists.
2. PASSING OFF THE OVUM.--"With many women," says Dr. Stockham in her
Tokology, "the ovum passes off within twenty-four or forty-eight hours
after menstruation begins. Some, by careful observation, are able to
know with certainty when this takes place. It is often accompanied
with malaise, nervousness, headache or actual uterine pain. A minute
substance like the white of an egg, with a fleck of blood in it, can
frequently be seen upon the clothing. Ladies who have noticed this
phenomenon testify to its recurring very regularly upon the same day
after menstruation. Some delicate women have observed it as late as
the fourteenth day."
3. CALCULATIONS.--Conception is more liable to take place either
immediately before or immediately after the period, and, on that
account it is usual when calculating the date at which to expect
labor, to count from the day of disappearance of the last period. The
easiest way to make a calculation is to count back three months from
the date of the last period and add seven days; thus we might say that
the date was the 18th of July; counting back brings us to the 18th
of April, and adding the seven days will bring us to the 25th day of
April, the expected time.
4. EVIDENCE OF CONCEPTION.--Very many medical authorities,
distinguished in this line, have stated their belief that women never
pass more than two or three days at the most beyond the forty weeks
conceded to pregnancy--that is two hundred and eighty days or ten
lunar months, or nine calendar months and a week. About two hundred
and eighty days will represent the average duration of pregnancy,
counting from the last day of the last period. Now it must be borne
in mind, that there are many disturbing elements which might cause
the young married woman to miss a time. During the first month of
pregnancy there is no sign by which the condition may be positively
known. The missing of a period, especially in a person who has, been
regular for some time, may lead one to suspect it; but there are many
attendant causes in married life, the little annoyances of household
duties, embarrassments, and the enforced gayety which naturally
surrounds the bride, and these should all be taken into consideration
in the discussion as to whether or not she is pregnant. But then,
again, there are some rare cases who have menstruated throughout their
pregnancy, and also cases where menstruation was never established and
pregnancy occurred. Nevertheless, the non-appearance of the period,
with other signs, may be taken as presumptive evidence.
5. "ARTIFICIAL IMPREGNATION".--It may not be generally known that
union is not essential to impregnation; it is possible for conception
to occur without congress. All that is necessary is that seminal
animalcules enter the womb and unite there with the egg or ovum. It is
not essential that the semen be introduced through the medium of the
male organ, as it has been demonstrated repeatedly that by means of
a syringe and freshly obtained and healthy semen, impregnation can be
made to follow by its careful introduction. There are physicians in
France who make a specialty of "Artificial Impregnation," as it is
called, and produce children to otherwise childless couples, being
successful in many instances in supplying them as they are desired.
* * * * *
SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF PREGNANCY.
1. THE FIRST SIGN.--The first sign that leads a lady to suspect that
she is pregnant is her ceasing-to-be-unwell. This, provided she has
just before been in good health, is a strong symptom of pregnancy; but
still there must be others to corroborate it.
2. ABNORMAL CONDITION.--Occasionally, women menstruate during
the entire time of gestation. This, without doubt, is an abnormal
condition, and should be remedied, as disastrous consequences may
result. Also, women have been known to bear children who have never
menstruated. The cases are rare of pregnancy taking place where
menstruation has never occurred, yet it frequently happens that women
never menstruate from one pregnancy to another. In these cases this
symptom is ruled out for diagnotic purposes.
3. MAY PROCEED FROM OTHER CAUSES.--But a ceasing-to-be-unwell may
proceed from other causes than that of pregnancy such as disease or
disorder of the womb or of other organs of the body--especially of
the lungs--it is not by itself alone entirely to be depended upon;
although, as a single sign, it is, especially if the patient be
healthy, one of the most reliable of all the other signs of pregnancy.
[Illustration: EMBRYO OF TWENTY DAYS, LAID OPEN: _b_, the Back;
_a a a_ Covering, and pinned to Back.]
4. MORNING SICKNESS.--If this does not arise from a disordered
stomach, it is a trustworthy sign of pregnancy. A lady who has once
had morning-sickness can always for the future distinguish it from
each and from every other sickness; it is a peculiar sickness,
which no other sickness can simulate. Moreover, it is emphatically a
morning-sickness--the patient being, as a rule, for the rest of the
day entirely free from sickness or from the feeling of sickness.
5. A THIRD SYMPTOM.--A third symptom is shooting, throbbing and
lancinating pains in, and enlargement of the breasts, with soreness
of the nipples, occurring about the second month. In some instances,
after the first few months, a small quantity of watery fluid or a
little milk, may be squeezed out or them. This latter symptom, in a
first pregnancy, is valuable, and can generally be relied on as fairly
conclusive of pregnancy. Milk in the breast, however small it may
be in quantity, especially in a first pregnancy, is a reliable sign,
indeed, we might say, a certain sign, of pregnancy.
6. A DARK BROWN AREOLA OR MARK around the nipple is one of the
distinguishing signs of pregnancy--more especially of a first
pregnancy. Women who have had large families, seldom, even when they
are not pregnant, lose this mark entirely; but when they are pregnant
it is more intensely dark--the darkest brown--especially if they be
brunettes.
7. QUICKENING.--Quickening is one of the most important signs of
pregnancy, and one of the most valuable, as at the moment it occurs,
as a rule, the motion of the child is first felt, whilst, at the
same time, there is a sudden increase in the size of the abdomen.
Quickening is a proof that nearly half the time of pregnancy has
passed. If there be liability to miscarry, quickening makes matters
more safe, as there is less likelihood of a miscarriage after than
before it. A lady at this time frequently feels faint or actually
faints away; she is often giddy, or sick, or nervous, and in some
instances even hysterically; although, in rare cases, some women do
not even know the precise time when they quicken.
8. INCREASED SIZE AND HARDNESS OF THE ABDOMEN.--This is very
characteristic of pregnancy. When a lady is not pregnant the
abdomen is soft and flaccid; when she is pregnant, and after she
has quickened, the abdomen; over the region of the womb, is hard and
resisting.
[Illustration: EMBRYO AT THIRTY DAYS _a_, the Head; _b_, the Eyes;
_d_ the Neck; _e_, the Chest; _f_, the Abdomen.]
9. EXCITABILITY OF MIND.--Excitability of mind is very common in
pregnancy, more especially if the patient be delicate; indeed,
excitability is a sign of debility, and requires plenty of good
nourishment, but few stimulants.
10. ERUPTIONS ON THE SKIN.--Principally on the face, neck, or throat,
are tell-tales of pregnancy, and to an experienced matron, publish the
fact that an acquaintance thus marked is pregnant.
11. THE FOETAL HEART.--In the fifth month there is a sign which, if
detected, furnishes indubitable evidence of conception, and that is
the sound of the child's heart. If the ear be placed on the abdomen,
over the womb, the beating of the foetal heart can sometimes be heard
quite plainly, and by the use of an instrument called the stethoscope,
the sounds can be still more plainly heard. This is a very valuable
sign, inasmuch as the presence of the child is not only ascertained,
but also its position, and whether there are twins or more.
[Illustration: Baby Elizabeth, Brought Into the World by the "Twilight
Sleep" Method. It Robs Child Bearing of Most of Its Terrors.]
* * * * *
DISEASES OF PREGNANCY.
1. COSTIVE STATE OF THE BOWELS.--A costive state of the bowels
is common in pregnancy; a mild laxative is therefore occasionally
necessary. The mildest must be selected, as a strong purgative
is highly improper, and even dangerous. Calomel and all other
preparations of mercury are to be especially avoided, as a mercurial
medicine is apt to weaken the system, and sometimes even to produce
a miscarriage. Let me again urge the importance of a lady, during the
whole period of pregnancy, being particular as to the state of her
bowels, as costiveness is a fruitful cause of painful, tedious and
hard labors.
2. LAXATIVES.--The best laxatives are caster oil, salad oil, compound
rhubarb pills, honey, stewed prunes, stewed rhubarb, Muscatel raisins,
figs, grapes, roasted apples, baked pears, stewed Normandy pippins,
coffee, brown-bread and treacle. Scotch oatmeal made with new milk or
water, or with equal parts of milk and water.
3. PILLS.--When the motions are hard, and when the bowels are easily
acted upon, two, or three, or four pills made of Castile soap will
frequently answer the purpose; and if they will, are far better than
any other ordinary laxative. The following is a good form. Take of:
Castile Soap, five scruples;
Oil of Caraway, six drops;
To make twenty-four pills. Two, or three, or four to be taken at
bedtime, occasionally.
4. HONEY.--A teaspoonful of honey, either eaten at breakfast
or dissolved in a cup of tea, will frequently, comfortably and
effectually, open the bowels, and will supersede the necessity of
taking laxative medicine.
5. NATURE'S MEDICINES.--Now, Nature's medicines--exercise in the open
air, occupation, and household duties--on the contrary, not only at
the time open the bowels, but keep up a proper action for the future;
her--their inestimable superiority.
6. WARM WATER INJECTIONS.--An excellent remedy for costiveness of
pregnancy is an enema, either of warm water, or of Castile soap
and water, which the patient, by means of a self-injecting
enema-apparatus, may administer to herself. The quantity of warm water
to be used, is from half a pint to a pint; the proper heat is the
temperature of new milk; the time for administering it is early in the
morning, twice or three times a week.
7. MUSCULAR PAINS OF THE ABDOMEN.--The best remedy is an abdominal
belt constructed for pregnancy, and adjusted with proper straps and
buckles to accomodate the gradually increasing size of the womb. This
plan often affords great comfort and relief; indeed, such a belt is
indispensably necessary.
8. DIARRHEA.--Although the bowels in pregnancy are generally costive,
they are sometimes in an opposite state, and are relaxed. Now,
this relaxation is frequently owing to there having been prolonged
constipation, and Nature is trying to relieve herself by purging.
Do not check it, but allow it to have its course, and take a little
rhubarb or magnesia. The diet should be simple, plain, and nourishing,
and should consist of beef tea, chicken broth, arrow-root, and of
well-made and well-boiled oatmeal gruel. Butcher's meat, for a
few days, should not be eaten; and stimulants of all kinds must be
avoided.
9. FIDGETS.--A pregnant lady sometimes suffers severely from
"fidgets"; it generally affects her feet and legs, especially at
night, so as to entirely destroy her sleep; she cannot lie still; she
every few minutes moves, tosses and tumbles about--first on one side,
then on the other. The causes of "fidgets" are a heated state of the
blood; an irritable condition of the nervous system, prevailing
at that particular time; and want of occupution. The treatment of
"fidgets" consists of: sleeping in a well-ventilated apartment, with
either window or door open; a thorough ablution of the whole body
every morning, and a good washing with tepid water of the face, neck,
chest, arms and hands every night; shunning hot and close rooms;
taking plenty of out-door exercise; living on a bland, nourishing,
put not rich diet; avoiding meat at night, and substituting in
lieu thereof, either a cupful of arrow-root made with milk, or of
well-boiled oatmeal gruel.
10. EXERCISE.--If a lady, during the night, have the "fidgets," she
should get out of bed; take a short walk up and down the room, being
well protected by a dressing-gown; empty her bladders turn, her
pillow, so as to have the cold side next the head; and then lie down
again; and the chances are that she will now fall asleep. If during
the day she have the "fidgets," a ride in an open carriage; or a
stroll in the garden, or in the fields; or a little housewifery,
will do her good, and there is nothing like fresh air, exercise, and
occupation to drive away "the fidgets."
11. HEARTBURN.--Heartburn is a common and often a distressing symptom
of pregnancy. The acid producing the heartburn is frequently much
increased by an overloaded stomach. An abstemious diet ought to be
strictly observed. Great attention should be paid to the quality
of the food. Greens, pastry, hot buttered toast, melted butter, and
everything that is rich and gross, ought to be carefully avoided.
Either a teaspoonful of heavy calcined magnesia, or half a teaspoonful
of carbonate of soda--the former to be preferred if there be
constipation--should occasionally be taken in a wine-glassful of warm
water. If these do not relieve--the above directions as to diet having
been strictly attended to--the following mixture ought to be tried.
Take of:
Carbonate of Ammonia, half a drachm;
Bicarbonate of Soda, a drachm and a half;
Water, eight ounces;
To make a mixture: Two tablespoonfuls to be taken twice or three times
a day, until relief be obtained.
12. WIND IN THE STOMACH AND BOWELS.--This is a frequent reason why a
pregnant lady cannot sleep at night. The two most frequent causes of
flatulence are, first, the want of walking exercise during the day,
and second, the eating of a hearty meal just before going to bed at
night. The remedies are, of course, in each instance, self-evident.
13. SWOLLEN LEGS FROM ENLARGED VEINS (VARICOSE VEINS.)--The veins are
frequently much enlarged and distended, causing the legs to be greatly
swollen and very painful, preventing the patient from taking proper
walking exercise. Swollen legs are owing to the pressure of the womb
upon the blood-vessels above. Women who have had large families are
more liable than others to varicose veins. If a lady marry late in
life, or if she be very heavy in pregnancy carrying the child low down
she is more likely to have distention of the veins. The best plan will
be for her to wear during the day an elastic stocking, which ought to
be made on purpose for her, in order that it may properly fit the leg
and foot.
14. STRETCHING OF THE SKIN OF THE ABDOMEN. This is frequently, in a
first pregnancy, distressing, from the soreness it causes. The best
remedy is to rub the abdomen, every night and morning, with warm
camphorated oil, and to wear a belt during the day and a broad flannel
bandage at night, both of which should be put on moderately but
comfortably tight. The belt must be secured in its situation by means
of properly adjusted straps.
15. BEFORE THE APPROACH OF LABOR.--The patient, before the approach of
labor, ought to take particular care to have the bowels gently opened,
as during that state a costive state greatly increases her sufferings,
and lengthens the period of her labor. A gentle action is all that is
necessary; a violent one would do more harm than good.
16. SWOLLEN AND PAINFUL BREASTS. The breasts are, at times, during
pregnancy, much swollen and very painful; and, now and then, they;
cause the patient great uneasiness, as she fancies that she is going
to have either some dreadful tumor or a gathering of the bosom. There
need, in such a case, be no apprehension. The swelling and the pain
are the consequences of the pregnancy, and will in due time subside
without any unpleasant result. For treatment she cannot do better than
rub them well, every night and morning, with equal parts of Eau de
Cologne and olive oil, and wear a piece of new flannel over them;
taking care to cover the nipples with soft linen, as the friction of
the flannel might irritate them.
17. BOWEL COMPLAINTS. Bowel complaints, during pregnancy, are not
unfrequent. A dose either of rhubarb and magnesia, or of castor oil,
are the best remedies, and are generally, in the way of medicine, all
that is necessary.
18. CRAMPS. Cramps of the legs and of the thighs during the latter
period, and especially at night, are apt to attend pregnancy, and are
caused by the womb pressing upon the nerves which extend to the lower
extremities. Treatment. Tightly tie a handkerchief, folded like a
neckerchief, round the limb a little above the part affected, and let
it remain on for a few minutes. Friction by means of the hand either
with opodeldoc or with laudanum, taking care not to drink the lotion
by mistake, will also give relief.
19. THE WHITES. The whites during pregnancy, especially during the
latter months, and particularly if the lady have had many children,
are frequently troublesome, and are, in a measure, occasioned by the
pressure of the womb on the parts below, causing irritation. The best
way, therefore, to obviate such pressure is for the patient to lie
down a great part of each day either on a bed or a sofa. She ought
to retire early to rest: she should sleep on a hair mattress and in
a well ventilated apartment, and should not overload her bed with
clothes. A thick, heavy quilt at these times, and indeed at all times,
is particularly objectionable; the perspiration cannot pass readily
through it as through blankets, and thus she is weakened. She ought to
live on plain, wholesome, nourishing food; and she must abstain from
beer and wine and spirits. The bowels ought to be gently opened by
means of a Seidlitz powder, which should occasionally be taken early
in the morning.
[Illustration: A PRECIOUS FLOWER.]
20. IRRITATION AND ITCHING OF THE EXTERNAL PARTS.--This is a most
troublesome affection, and may occur at any time, but more especially
during the latter period of the pregnancy. Let her diet be simple
and nourishing; let her avoid stimulants of all kinds. Let her take a
sitz-bath of warm water, considerably salted. Let her sit in the bath
with the body thoroughly covered.
21. HOT AND INFLAMED.--The external parts, and the passage to the womb
(vagina), in these cases, are not only irritable and itching, but are
sometimes hot and inflamed, and are covered either with small pimples,
or with a whitish exudation of the nature of aphtha (thrush), somewhat
similar to the thrush on the mouth of an infant; then, the addition of
glycerine to the lotion is a great improvement and usually gives much
relief.
22. BILIOUSNESS[Footnote: Some of these valuable suggestions are taken
from "Parturition Without Pain," by Dr. M.L. Holbrook.] is defined by
some one as piggishness. Generally it may be regarded as _overfed_.
The elements of the bile are in the blood in excess of the power
of the liver to eliminate them. This may be caused either from the
superabundance of the materials from which the bile is made or by
inaction of the organ itself. Being thus retained the system is
_clogged_. It is the result of either too much food in quantity or too
rich in quality. Especially is it caused by the excessive use of _fats
and sweets_. The simplest remedy is the best. A plain, light diet with
plenty of acid fruits, avoiding fats and sweets, will ameliorate or
remove it. Don't force the appetite. Let hunger demand food. In the
morning the sensitiveness of the stomach may be relieved by taking
before rising a cup of hot water, hot milk, hot lemonade, rice or
barley water, selecting according to preference. For this purpose many
find coffee made from browned wheat or corn the best drink. Depend for
a time upon liquid food that can be taken up by absorbents. The juice
of lemons and other acid fruits is usually grateful, and assists in
assimilating any excess in nutriment. These may be diluted according
to taste. With many, an egg lemonade proves relishing and acceptable.
23. DERANGED APPETITE.--Where the appetite fails, let the patient go
without eating for a little while, say for two or three meals.
If, however, the strength begins to go, try the offering of some
unexpected delicacy; or give small quantities of nourishing food, as
directed in case of morning sickness.
24. PILES.--For cases of significance consult a physician. As
with constipation, so with piles, its frequent result, fruit diet,
exercise, and sitz-bath regimen will do much to prevent the trouble.
Frequent local applications of a cold compress, and even of ice, and
tepid water injections, are of great service. Walking or standing
aggravate this complaint. Lying down alleviates it. Dr. Shaw says,
"There is nothing in the world that will produce so great relief in
piles as fasting. If the fit is severe, live a whole day, or even two,
if necessary, upon pure soft cold water alone. Give then very lightly
of vegetable food."
25. TOOTHACHE.--There is a sort of proverb that a woman loses one
tooth every time she has a child. Neuralgic toothache during pregnancy
is, at any rate, extremely common, and often has to be endured. It is
generally thought not best to have teeth extracted during pregnancy,
as the shock to the nervous system has sometimes caused miscarriage.
To wash out the mouth morning and night with cold or lukewarm water
and salt is often of use. If the teeth are decayed, consult a good
dentist in the early stages of pregnancy, and have the offending teeth
properly dressed. Good dentists, in the present state of the science,
extract very few teeth, but save them.
26. SALIVATION.--Excessive secretion of the saliva has usually been
reckoned substantially incurable. Fasting, cold water treatment,
exercise and fruit diet may be relied on to prevent, cure or alleviate
it, where this is possible, as it frequently is.
27. HEADACHE.--This is, perhaps, almost as common in cases of
pregnancy as "morning sickness." It may be from determination of blood
to the head, from constipation or indigestion, constitutional "sick
headache," from neuralgia, from a cold, from rheumatism. Correct
living will prevent much headache trouble; and where this does not
answer the purpose, rubbing and making magnetic passes over the head
by the hand of some healthy magnetic person will often prove of great
service.
28. LIVER-SPOTS.--These, on the face, must probably be endured, as no
trustworthy way of driving them off is known.
29. JAUNDICE.--See the doctor.
30. PAIN ON THE RIGHT SIDE.--This is liable to occur from about the
fifth to the eighth month, and is attributed to the pressure of
the enlarging womb upon the liver. Proper living is most likely to
alleviate it. Wearing a wet girdle in daytime or a wet compress at
night, sitz-baths, and friction with the wet hand may also be tried.
If the pain is severe a mustard poultice may be used. Exercise should
be carefully moderated if found to increase the pain. If there is
fever and inflammation with it, consult a physician. It is usually not
dangerous, but uncomfortable only.
31. PALPITATION OF THE HEART.--To be prevented by healthy living and
calm, good humor. Lying down will often gradually relieve it, so will
a compress wet with water, as hot as can be borne, placed over the
heart and renewed as often as it gets cool.
32. FAINTING.--Most likely to be caused by "quickening," or else by
tight dress, bad air, over-exertion, or other unhealthy living. It
is not often dangerous. Lay the patient in an easy posture, the head
rather low than high, and where cool air may blow across the face;
loosen the dress if tight; sprinkle cold water on the face and hands.
33. SLEEPLESSNESS.--Most likely to be caused by incorrect living,
and to be prevented and cured by the opposite. A glass or two of cold
water drank deliberately on going to bed often helps one to go to
sleep; so does bathing the face and hands and the feet in cold water.
A short nap in the latter part of the forenoon can sometimes be had,
and is of use. Such a nap ought not to be too long, or it leaves a
heavy feeling; it should be sought with the mind in a calm state, in
a well-ventilated though darkened room, and with the clothing removed,
as at night. A similar nap in the afternoon is not so good, but is
better than nothing. The tepid sitz-bath on going to bed will often
produce sleep, and so will gentle percussion given by an attendant
with palms of the hand over the back for a few minutes on retiring. To
secure sound sleep do not read, write or severely tax the mind in the
evening.
* * * * *
MORNING SICKNESS.
1. A pregnant woman is especially liable to suffer many forms of
dyspepsia, nervous troubles, sleeplessness, etc.
2. MORNING SICKNESS is the most common and is the result of an
irritation in the womb, caused by some derangement, and it is greatly
irritated by the habit of indulging in sexual gratification during
pregnancy. If people would imitate the lower animals and reserve the
vital forces of the mother for the benefit of her unborn child, it
would be a great boon to humanity. Morning sickness may begin the next
day after conception, but it usually appears from two to three weeks
after the beginning of pregnancy and continues with more or less
severity from two to four months.
3. HOME TREATMENT FOR MORNING SICKNESS.--Avoid all highly seasoned and
rich food. Also avoid strong tea and coffee. Eat especially light
and simple suppers at five o'clock and no later than six. Some simple
broths, such as will be found in the cooking department of this book
will be very nourishing and soothing. Coffee made from brown wheat or
corn is an excellent remedy to use. The juice of lemons reduced with
water will sometimes prove very effectual. A good lemonade with an egg
well stirred is very nourishing and toning to the stomach.
4. HOT FOMENTATION on the stomach and liver is excellent, and warm and
hot water injections are highly beneficial.
5. A little powdered magnesia at bed time, taken in a little milk,
will often give almost permanent relief.
6. Avoid corsets or any other pressure upon the stomach. All garments
must be worn loosely. In many cases this will entirely prevent all
stomach disturbances.
* * * * *
RELATION OF HUSBAND AND WIFE DURING PREGNANCY.
1. MISCARRIAGE.--If the wife is subject to miscarriage every
precaution should be employed to prevent its happening again. Under
such exceptional circumstances the husband should sleep apart the
first five months of pregnancy; after that length of time, the
ordinary relation may be assumed. If miscarriage has taken place,
intercourse should be avoided for a month or six weeks at least after
the accident.
2. IMPREGNATION.--Impregnation is the only mission of intercourse, and
after that has taken place, intercourse can subserve no other purpose
than sensual gratification.
3. WOMAN MUST JUDGE.--Every man should recognize the fact that
woman is the sole umpire as to when, how frequent, and under what
circumstances, connection should take place. Her desires should not
be ignored, for her likes and dislikes are--as seen in another part
of this book--easily impressed upon the unborn child. If she is strong
and healthy there is no reason why passion should not be gratified
with moderation and caution during the whole period of pregnancy, but
she must be the sole judge and her desires supreme.
4. VOLUNTARY INSTANCES.--No voluntary instances occur through the
entire animal kingdom. All females repel with force and fierceness the
approaches of the male. The human family is the only exception. A man
that loves his wife, however, will respect her under all circumstances
and recognize her condition and yield to her wishes.
* * * * *
A PRIVATE WORD TO THE EXPECTANT MOTHER.
Elizabeth Cady Stanton, in a lecture to ladies, thus strongly states
her views regarding maternity and painless childbirth:
"We must educate our daughters to think that motherhood is grand, and
that God never cursed it. And this curse, if it be a curse, may be
rolled off, as man has rolled away the curse of labor; as the curse
has been rolled from the descendants of Ham. My mission is to preach
this new gospel. If you suffer, it is not because you are cursed of
God, but because you violate His laws. What an incubus it would take
from woman could she be educated to know that the pains of maternity
are no curse upon her kind. We know that among the Indians the squaws
do not suffer in childbirth. They will step aside from the ranks, even
on the march, and return in a short time to them with the new-born
child. What an absurdity then, to suppose that only enlightened
Christian women are cursed. But one word of fact is worth a volume of
philosophy; let me give you some of my own experience. I am the mother
of seven children. My girlhood was spent mostly in the open air. I
early imbibed the idea that a girl was just as good as a boy, and I
carried it out. I would walk five miles before breakfast or ride ten
on horseback. After I was married I wore my clothing sensibly. Their
weight hung entirely on my shoulders. I never compressed my body
out of its natural shape. When my first four children were born,
I suffered very little. I then made up my mind that it was totally
unnecessary for me to suffer at all; so I dressed lightly, walked
every day, lived as much as possible in the open air, ate no
condiments or spices, kept quiet, listened to music, looked at
pictures, and took proper care of myself. The night before the birth
of the child I walked three miles. The child was born without a
particle of pain. I bathed it and dressed it, and it weighed ten and
one-half pounds. That same day I dined with the family. Everybody
said I would surely die, but I never had a relapse or a moment's
inconvenience from it. I know this is not being delicate and refined,
but if you would be vigorous and healthy, in spite of the diseases of
your ancestors, and your own disregard of nature's laws, try it."
* * * * *
SHALL PREGNANT WOMEN WORK?
1. OVER-WORKED MOTHERS.--Children born of over-worked mothers, are
liable to a be dwarfed and puny race. However, their chances are
better than those of the children of inactive, dependent, indolent
mothers who have neither brain nor muscle to transmit to son or
daughter. The truth seems to be that excessive labor, with either body
or mind, is alike injurious to both men and women; and herein lies the
sting of that old curse. This paragraph suggests all that need be said
on the question whether pregnant women should or should not labor.
2. FOOLISHLY IDLE.--At least it is certain that they should not be
foolishly idle; and on the other hand, it is equally certain that they
should be relieved from painful laborious occupations that exhaust
and unfit them for happiness. Pleasant and useful physical and
intellectual occupation, however, will not only do no harm, but
positive good.
3. THE BEST MAN AND THE BEST WOMAN.--The best man is he who can rear
the best child, and the best woman is she who can rear the best child.
We very properly extol to the skies Harriet Hosmer, the artist, for
cutting in marble the statue of a Zenobia; how much more should we
sing praises to the man and the woman who bring into the world a noble
boy or girl. The one is a piece of lifeless beauty, the other a piece
of life Including all beauty, all possibilities.
[Illustration]
* * * * *
WORDS FOR YOUNG MOTHERS.
The act of nursing is sometimes painful to the mother, especially
before the habit is fully established. The discomfort is greatly
increased if the skin that covers the nipples is tender and delicate.
The suction pulls it off leaving them in a state in which the
necessary pressure of the child's lips cause intense agony. This can
be prevented in a great measure, says Elizabeth Robinson Scovil, in
_Ladies' Home Journal_, if not entirely, by bathing the nipples
twice a day for six weeks before the confinement with powdered alum
dissolved in alcohol; or salt dissolved in brandy. If there is any
symptom of the skin cracking when the child begins; to nurse, they
should be painted with a mixture of tannin and glycerine. This must
be washed off before the baby touches them and renewed when it leaves
them. If they are very painful, the doctor will probably order morphia
added to the mixture. A rubber nipple shield to be put on at the time
of nursing, is a great relief. If the nipples are retracted or drawn
inward, they can be drawn out painlessly by filling a pint bottle with
boiling water, emptying it and quickly applying the mouth over the
nipple. As the air in the bottle cools, it condenses, leaving a vacuum
and the nipple is pushed out by the air behind it.
When the milk accumulates or "cakes" in the breast in hard patches,
they should be rubbed very gently, from the base upwards, with warm
camphorated oil. The rubbing should be the lightest, most delicate
stroking, avoiding pressure. If lumps appear at the base of the breast
and it is red swollen and painful, cloths wrung out of cold water
should be applied and the doctor sent for. While the breast is full
and hard all over, not much apprehension need be felt. It is when
lumps appear that the physician should be notified, that he may, if
possible, prevent the formation of abscesses.
While a woman is nursing she should eat plenty of nourishing
food--milk, oatmeal, cracked wheat, and good juicy, fresh meat,
boiled, roasted, or broiled, but not fried. Between each meal, before
going to bed, and once during the night, she should take a cup of
cocoa, gruel made with milk; good beef tea, mutton broth, or any warm,
nutritive drink. Tea and coffee are to be avoided. It is important
to keep the digestion in order and the bowels should be carefully
regulated as a means to this end. If necessary, any of the laxative
mineral waters can be used for this purpose, or a teaspoonful of
compound licorice powder taken at night. Powerful cathartic medicines
should be avoided because of their effect upon the baby. The child
should be weaned at nine months old, unless this time comes in very
hot weather, or the infant is so delicate that a change of food would
be injurious. If the mother is not strong her nurseling will sometimes
thrive better upon artificial food than on its natural nourishment. By
gradually lengthening the interval between the nursing and feeding the
child, when it is hungry, the weaning can be accomplished without much
trouble.
A young mother should wear warm underclothing, thick stockings and
a flannel jacket over her night dress, unless she is in the habit of
wearing an under vest. If the body is not protected by warm clothing
there is an undue demand upon the nervous energy to keep up the vital
heat, and nerve force is wasted by the attempt to compel the system to
do what ought to be done for it by outside means.
[Illustration]
* * * * *
HOW TO HAVE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN.
1. PARENTAL INFLUENCE.--The art of having handsome children has been
a question that has interested the people of all ages and of all
nationalities. There is no longer a question as to the influence that
parents may and do exert upon their offspring, and it is shown in
other parts of this book that beauty depends largely on the condition
of health at the time of conception. It is therefore of no little
moment that parents should guard carefully their own health as well as
that of their children, that they may develop a vigorous constitution.
There cannot be beauty without good health.
2. MARRYING TOO EARLY.--We know that marriage at too early an age, or
too late in life, is apt to produce imperfectly developed children,
both mentally and physically. The causes are self-evident: A couple
marrying too young, they lack maturity and consequently will impart
weakness to their offspring; while on the other hand persons marrying
late in life fail to find that normal condition which is conducive to
the health and vigor of offspring.
3. CROSSING OF TEMPERAMENTS AND NATIONALITIES.--The Crossing of
temperaments and nationalities beautifies offspring. If young persons
of different nationalities marry, their children under proper hygienic
laws are generally handsome and healthy. For instance, an American
and German or an Irish and German uniting in marriage, produces better
looking children than those marrying in the same nationality. Persons
of different temperaments uniting in marriage, always produces a good
effect upon offspring.
4. THE PROPER TIME.--To obtain the best results, conception should
take place only when both parties are in the best physical condition.
If either parent is in any way indisposed at the time of conception
the results will be seen in the health of the child. Many children
brought in the world with diseases or other infirmities stamped upon
their feeble frames show the indiscretion and ignorance of parents.
5. DURING PREGNANCY.--During pregnancy the mother should take time
for self improvement and cultivate an interest for admiring beautiful
pictures or engravings which represent cheerful and beautiful
figures. Secure a few good books illustrating art, with some fine
representations of statues and other attractive pictures. The purchase
of several illustrated an journals might answer the purpose.
6. WHAT TO AVOID.--Pregnant mothers should avoid thinking of ugly
people, or those marked by any deformity or disease; avoid injury,
fright and disease of any kind. Also avoid ungraceful position and
awkward attitude, but cultivate grace and beauty in herself. Avoid
difficulty with neighbors or other trouble.
7. GOOD CARE.--She should keep herself in good physical condition, and
the system well nourished, as a want of food always injures the child.
8. THE IMPROVEMENT OF THE MIND.--The mother should read suitable
articles in newspapers or good books, keep her mind occupied. If she
cultivates a desire for intellectual improvement, the same desire will
be more or less manifested in the growth and development of the child.
9. LIKE PRODUCES LIKE, everywhere and always--in general forms and in
particular features--in mental qualities and in bodily conditions--in
tendencies of thought and in habits of action. Let this grand truth be
deeply impressed upon the hearts of all who desire or expect to become
parents.
10. HEREDITY.--Male children generally inherit the peculiar traits and
diseases of the mother and female children those of the father.
11. ADVICE.--Therefore it is urged that during the period of
utero-gestation, especial pains should be taken to render the life of
the female as harmonious as possible, that her surroundings should
all be of a nature calculated to inspire the mind with thoughts of
physical and mental beauties and perfections, and that she should
be guarded against all influences, of whatever character, having a
deteriorative tendency.
[Illustration]
[Illustration: THE BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY.]
* * * * *
EDUCATION OF THE CHILD IN THE WOMB.
"A lady once interviewed a prominent college president and asked him
when the education of a child should begin. 'Twenty-five years before
it is born,' was the prompt reply."
No better answer was ever given to that question Every mother may well
consider it.
1. THE UNBORN CHILD AFFECTED BY THE THOUGHTS AND THE SURROUNDINGS OF
THE MOTHER.--That the child is affected in the womb of the mother,
through the influences apparently connected with objects by which she
is surrounded, appears to have been well known in ancient days, as
well as at the present time.
2. EVIDENCES.--Many evidences are found in ancient history, especially
among the refined nations, showing that certain expedients
were resorted to by which their females, during the period of
utero-gestation, were surrounded by the superior refinements of the
age, with the hope of thus making upon them impressions which should
have the effect of communicating certain desired qualities to the
offspring. For this reason apartments were adorned with statuary and
paintings, and special pains were taken not only to convey favorable
impressions, but also to guard against unfavorable ones being made,
upon the mind of the pregnant woman.
3. HANKERING AFTER GIN.--A certain mother while pregnant, longed for
gin, which could not be gotten; and her child cried incessantly for
six weeks till gin was given it, which it eagerly clutched and drank
with ravenous greediness, stopped crying, and became healthy.
4. BEGIN TO EDUCATE CHILDREN AT CONCEPTION, and continue during their
entire carriage. Yet maternal study, of little account before the
sixth, after it, is most promotive of talents; which, next to goodness
are the father's joy and the mother's pride. What pains are taken
after they are born, to render them prodigies of learning, by the best
of schools and teachers from their third year; whereas their mother's
study, three months before their birth, would improve their intellects
infinitely more.
5. MOTHERS, DOES GOD THUS PUT the endowment of your darlings into
your moulding power? Then tremble in view of its necessary
responsibilities, and learn how to wield them for their and your
temporal and eternal happiness.
[Illustration]
6. QUALITIES OF THE MIND.--The Qualities of the mind are perhaps
as much liable to hereditary transmission as bodily configuration.
Memory, intelligence, judgment, imagination, passions, diseases, and
what is usually called genius, are often very markedly traced in the
offspring.--I have known mental impressions forcibly impressed upon
the offspring at the time of conception, as concomitant of some
peculiar eccentricity, idiosyncrasy, morbidness, waywardness,
irritability, or proclivity of either one or both parents.
7. THE PLASTIC BRAIN.--The plastic brain of the foetus is prompt
to receive all impressions. It retains them, and they become the
characteristics of the child and the man. Low spirits, violent
passions, irritability, frivolity, in the pregnant woman, leave
indelible marks on the unborn child.
8. FORMATION OF CHARACTER.--I believe that pre-natal influences may
do as much in the formation of character as all the education that
can come after, and that mothers may, in a measure, "will," what that
influence shall be, and that, as knowledge on the subject increases,
it will be more and more under their control. In that, as in
everything else, things that would be possible with one mother would
not be with another, and measures that would be successful with one
would produce opposite results from the other.
9. A HISTORICAL ILLUSTRATION.--A woman rode side by side with her
soldier husband, and witnessed the drilling of troops for battle. The
scene inspired her with a deep longing to see a battle and share in
the excitements of the conquerors. This was but a few months before
her boy was born, and his name was Napoleon.
10. A MUSICIAN.--The following was reported by Dr. F.W. Moffatt, in
the mother's own language, "When I was first pregnant, I wished
my offspring to be a musician, so, during the period of that
pregnancy, settled my whole mind on music, and attended every musical
entertainment I possibly could. I had my husband, who has a violin, to
play for me by the hour. When the child was born, it was a girl, which
grew and prospered, and finally became an expert musician."
11. MURDEROUS INTENT.--The mother of a young man, who was hung not
long ago, was heard to say: "I tried to get rid of him before he was
born; and, oh, how I wish now that I had succeeded!" She added that it
was the only time she had attempted anything of the sort; but, because
of home troubles, she became desperate, and resolved that her burdens
should not be made any greater. Does it not seem probable that the
murderous intent, even though of short duration, was communicated
to the mind of the child, and resulted in the crime for which he was
hung?
12. THE ASSASSIN OF GARFIELD.--Guiteau's father was a man of integrity
and conquerable intellectual ability. His children were born in quick
succession, and the mother was obliged to work very hard. Before this
child was born, she resorted to every means, though unsuccessful, to
produce abortion. The world knows the result. Guiteau's whole life
was full of contradictions. There was little self-controlling power
in him; no common sense, and not a vestige or remorse or shame. In his
wild imagination, he believed himself capable of doing the greatest
work and of filling the loftiest station in life. Who will dare
question that this mother's effort to destroy him while in embryo was
the main cause in bringing him to the level of the brutes?
13. CAUTION.--Any attempt, on the part of the mother, to destroy her
child before birth, is liable, if unsuccessful, to produce murderous
tendencies. Even harboring murderous thoughts, whether toward her own
child or not, might be followed by similar results.
"The great King of kings
Hath in the table of His law commanded
That thou shall do no murder. Wilt thou, then,
Spurn at His edict, and fulfill a man's?
Take heed, for He holds vengeance in His hand
To hurl upon their heads that break his law."
--RICHARD III., _Act I._
[Illustration: The Embryo In Sixty Days.]
* * * * *
HOW TO CALCULATE THE TIME OF EXPECTED LABOR.
1. The table on the opposite page has been very accurately compiled,
and will be very helpful to those who desire the exact time.
2. The duration of pregnancy is from 278 to 280 days, or nearly
forty weeks. The count should be made from the beginning of the last
menstruation, and add eight days on account of the possibility of it
occurring within that period. The heavier the child the longer is the
duration; the younger the woman the longer time it often requires. The
duration is longer in married than in unmarried women; the duration is
liable to be longer if the child is a female.
3. MOVEMENT.--The first movement is generally felt on the 135th day
after impregnation.
4. GROWTH OF THE EMBRYO.--About the twentieth day the embryo resembles
the appearance of an ant or lettuce seed; the 30th day the embryo is
as large as a common horse fly; the 40th day the form resembles that
of a person; in sixty days the limbs begin to form, and in four months
the embryo takes the name of foetus.
5. Children born after seven or eight months can survive and develop
to maturity.
[Illustration: DURATION OF PREGNANCY.]
DIRECTIONS.--Find in the upper horizontal line the date on which
the last menstruation ceased; the figure beneath gives the date of
expected confinement (280 days).
Jan. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
Oct. 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22
Jan. 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
Oct. 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Nov.
Feb. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
Nov. 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22
Feb. 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28
Nov. 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Dec.
Mar. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
Dec. 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
Mar. 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
Dec. 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 Jan.
Apr. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
Jan. 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
Apr. 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
Jan. 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 Feb.
May 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
Feb. 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22
May 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
Feb. 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Mar.
June 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
Mar. 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22
June 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
Mar. 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 6 Apr.
July 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
Apr. 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21
July 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
Apr. 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 May
Aug. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
May 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22
Aug. 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
May 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 June
Sep. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
June 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22
Sep. 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
June 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 6 July
Oct. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
July 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22
Oct. 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
July 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Aug.
Nov. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
Aug. 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22
Nov. 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
Aug. 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 6 Sep.
Dec. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
Sep. 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22
Dec. 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31
Sep. 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Oct.
[Illustration: If menstruation ceased Oct. 31, the confinement will
take place July 18.]
* * * * *
THE SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF LABOR.
1. Although the majority of patients, a day or two before the labor
comes on, are more bright and cheerful, some few are more anxious,
fanciful, fidgety and reckless.
2. A few days, sometimes a few hours, before labor commences,
the child "falls" as it is called; that is to say, there is a
subsidence--a dropping--of the womb lower down the abdomen. This
is the reason why she feels lighter and more comfortable, and more
inclined to take exercise, and why she can breathe more freely.
3. The only inconvenience of the dropping of the womb is, that the
womb presses more on the bladder, and sometimes causes an irritability
of that organ, inducing a frequent desire to make water. The wearing
the obstetric belt, as so particularly enjoined in previous pages,
will greatly mitigate this inconvenience.
4. The subsidence--the dropping--of the womb may then be considered
one of the earliest of the precursory symptoms of child-birth, and as
the herald of the coming event.
5. She has, at this time, an increased moisture of the vagina--the
passage leading to the womb--and of the external parts. She has, at
length, slight pains, and then she has a "show," as it is called;
which is the coming away of a mucous plug which, during pregnancy, had
hermetically sealed up the mouth of the womb. The "show" is generally
tinged with a little blood. When a "show" takes place, she may rest
assured that labor has actually commenced. One of the early symptoms
of labor is a frequent desire to relieve the bladder.
6. She ought not, on any account, unless it be ordered by the medical
man, to take any stimulant as a remedy for the shivering. In case of
shivering or chills, a cup either of hot lea or of hot gruel will be
the best remedy for the shivering; and an extra blanket or two
should be thrown over her, and be well tucked around her, in order to
thoroughly exclude the air from the body. The extra clothing, as soon
as she is warm and perspiring, should be gradually removed, as she
ought not to be kept very hot, or it will weaken her, and will thus
retard her labor.
7. She must not, on any account, force down--as her female friends
or as a "pottering" old nurse may advise--to "grinding pains"; if sue
does, it will rather retard than forward her labor. 8. During this
stage, she had better walk about or sit down, and not confine herself
to bed; indeed, there is no necessity for her, unless she particularly
desire it, to remain in her chamber.
9. After an uncertain length of time, the pains alter in character.
From being "grinding" they become "bearing down," and more regular and
frequent, and the skin becomes both hot and perspiring. These may be
considered the true labor-pains. The patient ought to bear in mind
then that "true labor-pains" are situated in the back, and loins; they
come on at regular intervals, rise gradually up to a certain pitch of
intensity, and abate as gradually; it is a dull, heavy, deep sort of
pain, producing occasionally a low moan from the patient; not sharp or
twinging, which would elicit a very different expression of suffering
from her.
10. Labor--and truly it maybe called, "labor." The fiat has gone forth
that in "sorrow thou shalt bring forth children." Young, in his "Night
Thoughts," beautifully expresses the common lot of women to suffer:
"'Tis the common lot;
in this shape, or in that, has fate entailed
The mother's throes on all of women born,
Not more the children than sure heirs of pain."
[Illustration]
[Illustration: LOVE OF HOME.]
* * * * *
SPECIAL SAFEGUARDS IN CONFINEMENT.
1. Before the confinement takes place everything should be carefully
arranged and prepared. The physician should be spoken to and be given
the time as near as can be calculated. The arrangement of the bed,
bed clothing, the dress for the mother and the expected babe should be
arranged for convenient and immediate use.
2. A bottle of sweet oil, or vaseline, or some pure lard should be
in readiness. Arrangements should be made for washing all soiled
garments, and nothing by way of soiled rags or clothing should be
allowed to accumulate.
3. A rubber blanket, or oil or waterproof cloth should be in readiness
to place underneath the bottom sheet to be used during labor.
4. As soon as labor pains have begun a fire should be built and hot
water kept ready for immediate use. The room should be kept well
ventilated and comfortably warm.
5. No people should be allowed in or about the room except the nurse,
the physician, and probably members of the family when called upon to
perform some duty.
6. During labor no solid food should be taken; a little milk, broth or
soup may be given, provided there is an appetite. Malt or spirituous
liquors should be carefully avoided. A little wine, however, may be
taken in case of great exhaustion. Lemonade, toast, rice water, and
tea may be given when desired. Warm tea is considered an excellent
drink for the patient at this time.
7. When the pains become regular and intermit, it is time that the
physician is sent for. On the physician's arrival he will always take
charge of the case and give necessary instructions.
8. In nearly all cases the head of the child is presented first. The
first pains are generally grinding and irregular, and felt mostly in
the groins and within, but as labor progresses the pains are felt in
the abdomen, and as the head advances there is severe pain in the back
and hips and a disposition to bear down, but no pressure should be
placed upon the abdomen of the patient; it is often the cause of
serious accidents. Nature will take care of itself.
9. Conversation should be of a cheerful character, and all allusions
to accidents of other child births should be carefully avoided.
10. ABSENCE OF PHYSICIAN.--In case the child should be born in the
absence of the physician, when the head is born receive it in the hand
and support it until the shoulders have been expelled, and steady the
whole body until the child is born. Support the child with both hands
and lay it as far from the mother as possible without stretching the
cord. Remove the mucus from the nostrils and mouth, wrap the babe in
warm flannel, make the mother comfortable, give her a drink, and allow
the child to remain until the pulsations in the cord have entirely
ceased. After the pulsations have entirely ceased then sever the cord.
Use a dull pair of scissors, cutting it about two inches from the
child's navel, and generally no time is necessary, and when the
physician comes he will give it prompt attention.
11. If the child does not breathe at its arrival, says Dr. Stockham in
her celebrated Tokology, a little slapping on the breast and body will
often produce respiration, and if this is not efficient, dash cold
water on the face and chest; if this fails then close the nostrils
with two fingers, breathe into the mouth and then expel the air from
the lungs by gentle pressure upon the chest. Continue this as long as
any hope of life remains.
12. AFTER-BIRTH.--Usually contractions occur and the after-birth is
readily expelled; if not, clothes wrung out in hot water laid upon
the bowels will often cause the contraction of the uterus, and the
expulsion of the after-birth.
13. If the cord bleeds severely inject cold water into it. This in
many cases removes the after-birth.
14. After the birth of the child give the patient a bath, if the
patient is not too exhausted, change the soiled quilts and clothing,
fix up everything neat and clean and let the patient rest.
15 Let the patient drink weak tea, gruel, cold or hot water, whichever
she chooses.
16. After the birth of the baby, the mother should be kept perfectly
quiet for the first 24 hours and not allowed to talk or see anyone
except her nearest relations, however well she may seem. She should
not get out of bed for ten days or two weeks, nor sit up in bed for
nine days. The more care taken of her at this time, the more rapid
will be her recovery when she does get about. She should go up and
down stairs slowly, carefully, and as seldom as possible for six
weeks. She should not stand more than is unavoidable during that time,
but sit with her feet up and lie down when she has time to rest.
She should not work a sewing machine with a treadle for at least six
weeks, and avoid any unusual strain or over-exertion. "An ounce of
prevention IS worth a pound of cure," and carefulness will be well
repaid by a perfect restoration to health.
[Illustration]
[Illustration: MY PRICELESS JEWEL. What will be his fate in life?]
* * * * *
WHERE DID THE BABY COME FROM?
Where did you come from, baby dear?
Out of the everywhere into here.
Where did you get the eyes so blue?
Out of the sky, as I came through.
Where did you get that little tear?
I found it waiting when I got here.
What makes your forehead so smooth and high?
A soft hand stroked it as I went by.
What makes your cheek like a warm, white rose?
I saw something better than anyone knows.
Whence that three-cornered smile of bliss?
Three angels gave me at once a kiss.
Where did you get this pretty ear?
God spoke, and it came out to hear.
Where did you get those arms and hands?
Love made itself into hooks and bands.
Feet whence did you come, you darling things?
From the same box as the cherub's wings.
How did they all come just to be you?
God thought of me, and so I grew.
But how did you come to us, you dear?
God thought about you, and so I am here.
--GEORGE MACDONALD.
* * * * *
CHILD BEARING WITHOUT PAIN.
HOW TO DRESS, DIET AND EXERCISE IN PREGNANCY.
1. AILMENTS.--Those ailments to which pregnant women are liable are
mostly inconveniences rather than diseases, although they may be
aggravated to a degree of danger. No patent nostrums or prescriptions
are necessary. If there is any serious difficulty the family physician
should be consulted.
2. COMFORT.--Wealth and luxuries are not a necessity. Comfort will
make the surroundings pleasant. Drudgery, overwork and exposure are
the three things that tend to make women miserable while in the state
of pregnancy, and invariably produce irritable, fretful and feeble
children. Dr. Stockham says in her admirable work "Tokology:" "The
woman who indulges in the excessive gayety of fashionable life, as
well as the overworked woman, deprives her child of vitality.
She attends parties in a dress that is unphysiological in warmth,
distribution and adjustment, in rooms badly ventilated; partakes of
a supper of indigestible compounds, and remains into the 'wee, sma'
hours,' her nervous system taxed to the utmost."
3. EXERCISE.--A goodly amount of moderate exercise is a necessity,
and a large amount of work may be accomplished if prudence is properly
exercised. It is overwork, and the want of sufficient rest and sleep
that produces serious results.
4. DRESSES.--A pregnant woman should make her dresses of light
material and avoid surplus trimmings. Do not wear anything that
produces any unnecessary weight. Let the clothing be light but
sufficient in quantity to produce comfort in all kinds of weather.
5. GARMENTS.--It is well understood that the mother must breathe
for two, and in order to dress healthily the garments should be worn
loose, so as to give plenty of room for respiration. Tight clothes
only cause disease, or produce frailty or malformation in the
offspring.
6. SHOES.--Wear a large shoe in pregnancy; the feet may swell and
untold discomfort may be the result. Get a good large shoe with a
large sole. Give the feet plenty of room. Many women suffer from
defects in vision, indigestion, backache, loss of voice, headache,
etc., simply as the result of the reflex action of the pressure of
tight shoes.
7. LACING.--Many women lace themselves to the first period of their
gestation in order to meet their society engagements. All of this is
vitally wrong and does great injury to the unborn child as well as to
inflict many ills and pains upon the mother.
8. CORSETS.--Corsets should be carefully avoided, for the corset more
than any other one thing is responsible for making woman the victim
of more woes and diseases than all other causes put together. About
one-half the children born in this country die before they are five
years of age, and no doubt this terrible mortality is largely due to
this instrument of torture known as the _modern corset._ Tight lacing
is the cause of infantile mortality. It slowly but surely takes the
lives of tens of thousands, and so effectually weakens and diseases,
so as to cause the untimely death of millions more.
9. BATHING.--Next to godliness is cleanliness. A pregnant woman should
take a sponge or towel-bath two or three times a week. It stimulates
and invigorates the entire body. No more than two or three minutes
are required. It should be done in a warm room, and the body rubbed
thoroughly after each bathing.
10. THE HOT SITZ-BATH.--This bath is one of the most desirable and
healthful baths for pregnant women. It will relieve pain or acute
inflammation, and will be a general tonic in keeping the system in
a good condition. This may be taken in the middle of the forenoon or
just before retiring, and if taken just before retiring will produce
invigorating sleep, will quiet the nerves, cure headache, weariness,
etc. It is a good plan to take this bath every night before retiring
in case of any disorders. A woman who keeps this tip during the period
of gestation will have a very easy labor and a strong, vigorous babe.
11. HOT FOMENTATIONS.--Applying flannel cloths wrung out of simple
or medicated hot water is a great relief for acute suffering, such as
neuralgia, rheumatic pain, biliousness, constipation, torpid liver,
colic, flatulency, etc.
12. THE HOT WATER-BAG.--The hot water-bag serves the same purpose
as hot fomentations, and is much more convenient. No one should go
through the period of gestation without a hot water-bag.
13. THE COLD COMPRESS.--This is a very desirable and effectual
domestic remedy. Take a towel wrung from cold water and apply it
to the affected parts; then cover well with several thicknesses
of flannel. This is excellent in cases of sore throat, hoarseness,
bronchitis, inflammation of the lungs, croup, etc. It is also
excellent for indigestion, constipation or distress of the bowels
accompanied by heat.
14. DIET.--The pregnant woman should eat nutritious, but not
stimulating or heating food, and eat at the regular time. Avoid
drinking much while eating.
15. AVOID salt, pepper and sweets as much as possible.
16. EAT all kinds of grains, vegetables and fruits, and avoid salted
meat, but eat chicken, steak, fish, oysters, etc.
17. THE WOMAN WHO EATS INDISCRIMINATELY anything and everything the
same as any other person, will have a very painful labor and suffer
many ills that could easily be avoided by more attention being paid to
the diet. With a little study and observation a woman will soon learn
what to eat and what to avoid.
[Illustration: _Nature Versus Corsets Illustrated_
A. The ribs of large curve; the lungs large and roomy; the liver,
stomach and bowels in their normal position; all with abundant room.
B. The ribs bent almost to angles; the lungs contracted; the liver,
stomach and intestines forced down into the pelvis, crowding the womb
seriously.]
18. The above cuts are given on page 113; we repeat them here for the
benefit of expectant mothers who may be ignorant of the evil effects
of the corset.
Displacement of the womb, interior irritation and inflammation,
miscarriage and sterility, are some of the many injuries of tight
lacing. There are many others, in fact their name is legion, and every
woman who has habitually worn a corset and continues to wear it during
the early period of gestation must suffer severely during childbirth.
[Illustration: _"The House We Live In" for nine months: showing
the ample room provided by Nature when uncontracted by inherited
inferiority of form or artificial dressing._]
[Illustration: _A Contracted Pelvis. Deformity and Insufficient
Space._]
19. THIS IS WHAT DR. STOCKHAM says: "If women had _common sense_,
instead of _fashion sense_, the corset would not exist. There are
not words in the English language to express my convictions upon this
subject. The corset more than any other one thing is responsible for
woman's being the victim of disease and doctors....
"What is the effect upon the child? One-half of the children born in
this country die before they are five years of age. Who can tell how
much this state of things is due to the enervation of maternal life
forces by the one instrument of torture?
"I am a temperance woman. No one can realize more than I the
devastation and ruin alcohol in its many tempting forms has brought
to the human family. Still I solemnly believe that in weakness and
deterioration of health, the corset has more to answer for than
intoxicating drinks." When asked how far advanced a woman should be
in pregnancy before she laid aside her corset, Dr. Stockham said with
emphasis: "_The corset should not be worn for two hundred years before
pregnancy takes place._ Ladies, it will take that time at least
to overcome the ill-effect of tight garments which you think so
essential."
20. PAINLESS PREGNANCY AND CHILD-BIRTH.--"Some excellent popular
volumes," says Dr. Haff, "have been largely devoted to directions how
to secure a comfortable period of pregnancy and painless delivery.
After much conning of these worthy efforts to impress a little common
sense upon the sisterhood, we are convinced that all may be summed
up under the simple heads of: (1) An unconfined and lightly burdened
waist; (2) Moderate but persistent outdoor exercise, of which walking
is the best form; (3) A plain unstimulating, chiefly fruit and
vegetable diet; (4) Little or no intercourse during the time.
"These are hygienic rules of benefit under any ordinary conditions;
yet they are violated by almost every pregnant lady. If they are
followed, biliousness, indigestion, constipation, swollen limbs,
morning sickness and nausea--all will absent themselves or be much
lessened. In pregnancy more than at any other time, corsets are
injurious. The waist and abdomen must be allowed to expand freely with
the growth of the child. The great process of _evolution_ must have
room."
21. IN ADDITION, we can do no better than quote the following
recapitulation by Dr. Stockham in her famous Tokology: "To give a
woman the greatest immunity from suffering during pregnancy, prepare
her for a safe and comparatively easy delivery, and insure a speedy
recovery, all hygienic conditions must be observed.
"The dress must give:
"1. Freedom of movement;
"2. No pressure upon any part of the body;
"3. No more weight than is essential for warmth, and both weight and
warmth evenly distributed.
"These requirements necessitate looseness, lightness and warmth, which
can be obtained from the union underclothes, a princess skirt and
dress, with a shoe that allows full development and use of the foot.
While decoration and elegance are desirable, they should not sacrifice
comfort and convenience.
22. "LET THE DIET BE LIGHT, plain and nutritious. Avoid fats and
sweets, relying mainly upon fruits and grain that contain little of
the mineral salts. By this diet bilious and inflammatory conditions
are overcome, the development of bone in the foetus lessened, and
muscles necessary in labor nourished and strengthened.
23. "EXERCISE should be sufficient and of such a character as
will bring into action gently every muscle of the body; but must
particularly develop the muscles of the trunk, abdomen and groin, that
are specially called into action in labor. Exercise, taken faithfully
and systematically, more than any other means assists assimilative
processes and stimulates the organs of excretion to healthy action.
24. "BATHING MUST BE FREQUENT and regular. Unless in special
conditions the best results are obtained from tepid or cold bathing,
which invigorates the system and overcomes nervousness. The sitz-bath
is the best therapeutic and hygienic measure within the reach of the
pregnant woman.
"Therefore, to establish conditions which will overcome many previous
infractions of law, _dress_ naturally and physiologically; _live_ much
of the time _out of doors_; have _abundance_ of _fresh air_ in the
house; let _exercise_ be _sufficient_ and _systematic_; pursue a _diet
of fruit_, rice and vegetables; _regular rest_ must be faithfully
taken; _abstain_ from the sexual relation. To those who will commit
themselves to this course of life, patiently and persistently carrying
it out through the period of gestation, the possibilities of attaining
a healthy, natural, painless parturition will be remarkably increased.
25. "IF THE FIRST EXPERIMENT should not result in a painless labor, it
without doubt will prove the beginning of sound health. Persisted in
through years of married life, the ultimate result will be more and
more closely approximated, while there will be less danger of diseases
after childbirth and better and more vigorous children will be
produced.
"Then pregnancy by every true woman will be desired, and instead of
being a period of disease, suffering and direful forebodings, will
become a period of health, exalted pleasure and holiest anticipations.
Motherhood will be deemed the choicest of earth's blessings; women
will rejoice in a glad maternity and for any self-denial will be
compensated by healthy, happy, buoyant, grateful children."
[Illustration]
[Illustration: SWAT THE FLIES AND SAVE THE BABIES. LIFE CYCLE OF A FLY
EGG STAGE 1 DAY
MAGGOT STAGE 5 DAYS
PUPA STAGE 5 DAYS
14 DAYS LATER IT BEGINS TO LAY EGGS]
[Illustration: JOAN OF ARC.]
* * * * *
SOLEMN LESSONS FOR PARENTS.
1. EXCESSIVE PLEASURES AND PAINS.--A woman during her time of pregnancy
should of all women be most carefully tended, and kept from violent
and excessive pleasures and pains; and at that time she should
cultivate gentleness, benevolence and kindness.
2. HEREDITARY EFFECTS.--Those who are born to become insane do not
necessarily spring from insane parents, or from any ancestry having
any apparent taint of lunacy in their blood, but they do receive from
their progenitors certain impressions upon their mental and moral, as
well as their physical beings, which impressions, like an iron mould,
fix and shape their subsequent destinies. Hysteria in the mother may
develop insanity in the child, while drunkenness in the father may
impel epilepsy, or mania, in the son. Ungoverned passions in the
parents may unloose the furies of unrestrained madness in the minds of
their children, and the bad treatment of the wife may produce sickly
or weak-minded children.
3. The influence of predominant passion may be transmitted from the
parent to the child, just as surely a similarity of looks. It has been
truly said that "the faculties which predominate in power and activity
in the parents, when the organic existence of the child commences,
determine its future mental disposition." A bad mental condition of
the mother may produce serious defects upon her unborn child.
4. The singular effects produced on the unborn child by the sudden
mental emotions of the mother are remarkable examples of a kind
of electrotyping on the sensitive surfaces of living forms. It is
doubtless true that the mind's action in such cases may increase or
diminish the molecular deposits in the several portions of the system.
The precise place which each separate particle assumes in the new
organic structure may be determined by the influence of thought or
feeling. Perfect love and perfect harmony should exist between wife
and husband during this vital period.
5. AN ILLUSTRATION.--If a sudden and powerful emotion of a woman's mind
exerts such an influence upon her stomach as to excite vomiting, and
upon her heart as almost to arrest its motion and induce fainting, can
we believe that it will have no effect upon her womb and the fragile
being contained within it? Facts and reason then, alike demonstrate
the reality of the influence, and much practical advantage would
result to both parent and child, were the conditions and extent of its
operations better understood.
6. Pregnant women should not be exposed to causes likely to distress
or otherwise strongly impress their minds. A consistent life with
worthy objects constantly kept in mind should be the aim and purpose
of every expectant mother.
* * * * *
TEN HEALTH RULES FOR BABIES CUT DEATH RATE IN TWO.
Ninety-four babies out of every thousand born in New York died last
year. Only thirty-eight babies died in Montclair, N.J., out of every
thousand born during the same period. Much credit for this low rate of
infant mortality in the latter city is given the Montclair Day Nursery
which prescribes the following decade of baby health rules:
1. Give a baby pure milk and watch its feeding very closely.
2. Keep everything connected with a baby absolutely clean. Cleanliness
in the house accounts for a baby's health. Untidy babies are usually
sick babies.
3. Never let a baby get chilled. Keep its hands and feet warm.
4. Regulate a baby's day by the clock. Everything about its wants
should be attended to on schedule time.
5. Diminish a baby's food the minute signs of illness appear. Most
babies are overfed anyway.
6. Weigh a baby every week until it is a year old. Its weight is an
index of its health.
7. Every mother should get daily out-door exercise. It means better
health for her babies.
8. Every baby should be "mothered" more and mauled less. Babies thrive
on cuddling but they can get along on a lot less kissing.
9. Don't amuse or play with your baby too much. Its regular daily
routine is all the stimulation its little brain needs at first.
10. Don't let too many different people take care of the baby. Even
members of the same family make a baby nervous if they fuss around him
too much.
[Illustration]
[Illustration: MAN WITH SCALES AND INFANT.]
* * * * *
THE CARE OF NEW-BORN INFANTS.
1. The first thing to be done ordinarily is to give the little
stranger a bath by using soap and warm water. To remove the white
material that usually covers the child use olive oil, goose oil or
lard, and apply it with a soft piece of worn flannel, and when the
child is entirely clean rub all off with a fresh piece of flannel.
2. Many physicians in the United States recommend a thorough oiling
of the child with pure lard or olive oil, and then rub dry as above
stated. By these means water is avoided, and with it much risk of
taking cold.
3. The application of brandy or liquor is entirely unnecessary, and
generally does more injury than good.
4. If an infant should breathe feebly, or exhibit other signs of great
feebleness, it should not be washed at once, but allowed to remain
quiet and undisturbed, warmly wrapped up until the vital actions have
acquired a fair degree of activity.
5. DRESSING THE NAVEL.--There is nothing better for dressing the navel
than absorbent antiseptic cotton. There needs be no grease or oil
upon the cotton. After the separation of the cord the navel should be
dressed with a little cosmoline, still using the absorbent cotton. The
navel string usually separates in a week's time; it may be delayed for
twice this length of time, this will make no material difference, and
the rule is to allow it to drop off of its own accord.
6. THE CLOTHING OF THE INFANT.--The clothing of the infant should be
light, soft and perfectly loose. A soft flannel band is necessary only
until the navel is healed. Afterwards discard bands entirely if you
wish your babe to be happy and well. Make the dresses "Mother Hubbard"
Put on first a soft woolen shirt, then prepare the flannel skirts to
hang from the neck like a slip. Make one kind with sleeves and one
just like it without sleeves, then white muslin skirts (if they are
desired), all the same way. Then baby is ready for any weather. In
intense heat simply put on the one flannel slip with sleeves, leaving
off the shirt. In Spring and Fall the shirt and skirt with no sleeves.
In Cold weather shirt and both skirts. These garments can be all put
on at once, thus making the process of dressing very quick and easy.
These are the most approved modern styles for dressing infants, and
with long cashmere stockings pinned to the diapers the little feet
are free to kick with no old-fashioned pinning blanket to torture the
naturally active, healthy child, and retard its development. If
tight bands are an injury to grown people, then in the name of pity
emancipate the poor little infant from their torture!
7. THE DIAPER.--Diapers should be of soft linen, and great care should
be exercised not to pin them too tightly. Never dry them, but always
wash them thoroughly before being used again.
8. The band need not be worn after the navel has healed so that it
requires no dressing, as it serves no purpose save to keep in place
the dressing of the navel. The child's body should be kept thoroughly
warm around the chest, bowels and feet. Give the heart and lungs
plenty of room to heave.
9. The proper time for shortening the clothes is about three months in
Summer and six months in Winter.
10. INFANT BATHING.--The first week of a child's life it should not be
entirely stripped and washed. It is too exhausting. After a child is
over a week old it should be bathed every day; after a child is three
weeks old it may be put in the water and supported with one hand while
it is being washed with the other. Never, however, allow it to remain
too long in the water. From ten to twenty minutes is the limit. Use
Pears' soap or castile soap, and with a sponge wipe quickly, or use a
soft towel.
[Illustration]
* * * * *
NURSING.
1. The new-born infant requires only the mother's milk. The true
mother will nurse her child if it is a possibility. The infant will
thrive better and have many more chances for life.
2. The mother's milk is the natural food, and nothing can fully
take its place. It needs no feeding for the first few days as it
was commonly deemed necessary a few years ago. The secretions in the
mother's breast are sufficient.
3. Artificial Food. Tokology says: "The best artificial food is cream
reduced and sweetened with sugar of mill. Analysis shows that human
milk contains more cream and sugar and less casein than the milk of
animals."
4. Milk should form the basis of all preparations of food. If the
milk is too strong, indigestion will follow, and the child will lose
instead of gaining strength.
WEANING.--The weaning of the child depends much upon the strength and
condition of the mother. If it does not occur in hot weather, from
nine to twelve months is as long as any child should be nursed.
FOOD IN WEANING.--Infants cry a great deal during weaning, but a few
days of patient perseverance will overcome all difficulties. Give the
child purely a milk diet, Graham bread, milk crackers and milk, or a
little milk thickened with boiled rice, a little jelly, apple sauce,
etc., may be safely used. Cracked wheat, oatmeal, wheat germ, or
anything of that kind thoroughly cooked and served with a little cream
and sugar, is an excellent food.
MILK DRAWN FROM THE BREASTS.--If the mother suffers considerably from
the milk gathering in the breast after weaning the child, withdraw it
by taking a bottle that holds about a pint or a quart, putting a piece
of cloth wrung out in warm water around the bottle, then fill it with
boiling water, pour the water out and apply the bottle to the breast,
and the bottle cooling will form a vacuum and will withdraw the milk
into the bottle. This is one of the best methods now in use.
RETURN OF THE MENSES.--If the menses return while the mother is
nursing, the child should at once be weaned, for the mother's milk
no longer contains sufficient nourishment. In case the mother should
become pregnant while the child is nursing it should at once be
weaned, or serious results will follow to the health of the child. A
mother's milk is no longer sufficiently rich to nourish the child or
keep it in good health.
CARE OF THE BOTTLE.--If the child is fed on the bottle great care
should be taken in keeping it absolutely clean. Never use white
rubber nipples. A plain form of bottle with a black rubber nipple is
preferable.
CHILDREN should not be permitted to come to the table until two years
of age.
CHAFING.--One of the best remedies is powdered lycopodium; apply it
every time the babe is cleaned; but first wash with pure castile
soap; Pears' soap is also good. A preparation of oxide of zinc is also
highly recommended. Chafing sometimes results from an acid condition
of the stomach; in that case give a few doses of castoria.
COLIC.--If an infant is seriously troubled with colic, there is nothing
better than camomile or catnip tea. Procure the leaves and make tea
and give it as warm as the babe can bear.
* * * * *
FEEDING INFANTS.
1. The best food for infants is mother's milk; next best is cow's
milk. Cow's milk contains about three times as much curd and one-half
as much sugar, and it should be reduced with two parts of water.
2. In feeding cow's milk there is too little cream and too little
sugar, and there is no doubt no better preparation than Mellin's food
to mix it with (according to directions).
3. Children being fed on food lacking fat generally have their teeth
come late; their muscles will be flabby and bones soft. Children will
be too fat when their food contains too much sugar. Sugar always makes
their flesh soft and flabby.
4. During the first two months the baby should be fed every two hours
during the day, and two or three times during the night, but no more.
Ten or eleven feedings for twenty-four hours are all a child will bear
and remain healthy. At three months the child may be fed every three
hours instead of every two.
5. Children can be taught regular habits by being fed and put to sleep
at the same time every day and evening. Nervous diseases are caused by
irregular hours of sleep and diet, and the use of soothing medicines.
6. A child five or six months old should not be fed during the night
from nine in the evening until six or seven in the morning, as
overfeeding causes most of the wakefulness and nervousness of children
during the night.
7. If a child vomits soon after taking the bottle, and there is
an appearance of undigested food in the stool, it is a sign of
overfeeding. If a large part of the bottle has been vomited, avoid the
next bottle at regular time and pass over one bottle. If the child is
nursing the same principles apply.
8. If a child empties its bottle and sucks vigorously its fingers
after the bottle is emptied, it is very evident that the child is not
fed enough, and should have its food gradually increased.
9. Give the baby a little cold water several times a day.
* * * * *
INFANTILE CONVULSIONS.
DEFINITION.--An infantile convulsion corresponds to a chill in an
adult, and is the most common brain affection among children.
CAUSES.--Anything that irritates the nervous system may cause
convulsions in the child, as teething, indigestible food, worms,
dropsy of the brain, hereditary constitution, or they may be the
accompanying symptom in nearly all the acute diseases of children, or
when the eruption is suppressed in eruptive diseases.
SYMPTOMS.--In case of convulsions of a child parents usually become
frightened, and very rarely do the things that should be done in
order to afford relief. The child, previous to the fit, is usually
irritable, and the twitching of the muscles of the face may be
noticed, or it may come on suddenly without warning. The child becomes
insensible, clenches its hands tightly, lips turn blue, and the eyes
become fixed, usually frothing from the mouth with head turned back.
The convulsion generally lasts two or three minutes; sometimes,
however, as long as ten or fifteen minutes, but rarely.
REMEDY.--Give the child a warm bath and rub gently. Clothes wrung out
of cold water and applied to the lower and back part of the head and
plenty of fresh air will usually relieve the convulsion. Be sure and
loosen the clothing around the child's neck. After the convulsion is
over, give the child a few doses of potassic bromide, and an injection
of castor oil if the abdomen is swollen. Potassic bromide should be
kept in the house, to use in case of necessity.
[Illustration]
[Illustration: POOR CHILDREN FROM TENEMENT.]
* * * * *
PAINS AND ILLS IN NURSING.
1. SORE NIPPLES.--If a lady, during the latter few months of her
pregnancy, where to adopt "means to harden the nipples," sore nipples
during the period of suckling would not be so prevalent as they are.
2. CAUSE.--A sore nipple is frequently produced by the injudicious
custom of allowing the child to have the nipple almost constantly in
his mouth. Another frequent cause of a sore nipple is from the babe
having the canker. Another cause of a sore nipple is from the mother,
after the babe has been sucking, putting up the nipple wet. She,
therefore, ought always to dry the nipple, not by rubbing, but by
dabbing it with a soft cambric or lawn handkerchief, or with a piece
of soft linen rag one or the other of which ought always to be at hand
every time directly after the child has done sucking, and just before
applying any of the following powders or lotions to the nipple.
3. REMEDIES.--One of the best remedies for a sore nipple is the
following powder:
Take of Borax, one drachm;
Powdered Starch, seven drachms.
Mix. A pinch of the powder to be frequently applied to the nipple.
If the above does not cure, try Glycerine by applying it each time
after nursing.
4. GATHERED BREAST.--A healthy woman with a well-developed breast and
a good nipple, scarcely, if ever, has a gathered bosom; it is the
delicate, the ill-developed breasted and worse-developed nippled lady
who usually suffers from this painful complaint. And why? The evil can
generally be traced to girlhood. If she be brought up luxuriously, her
health and her breasts are sure to be weakened, and thus to suffer,
more especially if the development of the bosoms and nipples has been
arrested and interfered with by tight stays and corsets. Why, the
nipple is by them drawn in, and retained on the level with the
breast countersunk as though it were of no consequence to her future
well-being, as though it were a thing of nought.
5. TIGHT LACERS.--Tight lacers will have to pay the penalties of which
they little dream. Oh, the monstrous folly of such proceedings! When
will mothers awake from their lethargy? It is high time that they did
so! From the mother having "no nipple," the effects of tight lacing,
many a home has been made childless, the babe not being able to
procure its proper nourishment, and dying in consequence! It is a
frightful state of things! But fashion, unfortunately, blinds the eyes
and deafens the ears of its votaries!
6. BAD BREAST.--A gathered bosom, or "bad breast," as it is sometimes
called, is more likely to occur after a first confinement and during
the first month. Great care, therefore, ought to be taken to avoid
such a misfortune. A gathered breast is frequently owing to the
carelessness of a mother in not covering her bosoms during the time
she is suckling. Too much attention cannot be paid to keeping the
breasts comfortably warm. This, during the act of nursing, should be
done by throwing either a shawl or a square of flannel over the neck,
shoulders, and bosoms.
7. ANOTHER CAUSE.--Another cause of gathered breasts arises from a
mother sitting up in bed to suckle her babe. He ought to be accustomed
to take the bosom while she is lying down; if this habit is not at
first instituted, it will be difficult to adopt it afterwards. Good
habits may be taught a child from earliest babyhood.
8. FAINTNESS.--When a nursing mother feels faint, she ought immediately
to lie down and take a little nourishment; a cup of tea with the yolk
of an egg beaten up in it, or a cup of warm milk, or some beef-tea,
any of which will answer the purpose extremely well. Brandy, or any
other spirit we would not recommend, as it would only cause, as soon
as the immediate effects of the stimulant had gone off, a greater
depression to ensue; not only so, but the frequent taking of brandy
might become a habit a necessity which would be a calamity deeply to
be deplored!
9. STRONG PURGATIVES.--Strong purgatives during this period are highly
improper, as they are apt to give pain to the infant, as well as to
injure the mother. If it be absolutely necessary to give physic, the
mildest, such as a dose of castor oil, should be chosen.
10. HABITUALLY COSTIVE.--When a lady who is nursing is habitually
costive, she ought to eat brown instead of white bread. This will, in
the majority of cases, enable her to do without an aperient. The brown
bread may be made with flour finely ground all one way; or by mixing
one part of bran and three parts of fine wheaten flour together, and
then making it in the usual way into bread. Treacle instead of butter,
on the brown bread increases its efficacy as an aperient; and raw
should be substituted for lump sugar in her tea.
11. TO PREVENT CONSTIPATION.--Stewed prunes, or stewed French plums,
or stewed Normandy pippins, are excellent remedies to prevent
constipation. The patient ought to eat, every morning, a dozen or
fifteen of them. The best way to stew either prunes or French plums,
is the following: Put a pound of either prunes or French plums, and
two tablespoonfuls of raw sugar, into a brown jar; cover them with
water; put them into a slow oven, and stew them for three or four
hours. Both stewed rhubarb and stewed pears often act as mild and
gentle aperients. Muscatel raisins, eaten at dessert, will oftentimes
without medicine relieve the bowels.
12. COLD WATER--A tumblerful of cold water, taken early every morning,
sometimes effectually relieves the bowels; indeed, few people know the
value of cold water as an aperient it is one of the best we possess,
and, unlike drug aperients, can never by any possibility do any harm.
An injection of warm water is one of the best ways to relieve the
bowels.
13. WELL-COOKED VEGETABLES.--Although a nursing mother ought, more
especially if she be costive, to take a variety of well-cooked
vegetables, such as potatoes, asparagus, cauliflower, French beans,
spinach, stewed celery and turnips; she should avoid eating greens,
cabbages, and pickles, as they would be likely to affect the babe, and
might cause him to suffer from gripings, from pain, and "looseness" of
the bowels.
14. SUPERSEDE THE NECESSITY OF TAKING PHYSIC.--Let me again--for it
cannot be too urgently insisted upon--strongly advise a nursing
mother to use every means in the way of diet, etc., to supersede the
necessity of taking physic (opening medicine), as the repetition
of aperients injures, and that severely, both herself and child.
Moreover, the more opening medicine she swallows, the more she
requires; so that if she once gets into the habit of regularly
taking physic, the bowels will not act without them. What a miserable
existence to be always swallowing physic!
[Illustration: HEALTHY YOUTH AND RIPE OLD AGE.]
* * * * *
HOME LESSONS IN NURSING SICK CHILDREN.
1. MISMANAGEMENT.--Every doctor knows that a large share of the ills
to which infancy is subject are directly traceable to mismanagement.
Troubles of the digestive system are, for the most part due to errors,
either in the selection of the food or in the preparation of it.
2. RESPIRATORY DISEASES.--Respiratory diseases or the diseases of the
throat and lungs have their origin, as a rule, in want of care and
judgment in matters of clothing, bathing and exposure to cold
and drafts. A child should always be dressed to suit the existing
temperature of the weather.
3. NERVOUS DISEASES.--Nervous diseases are often aggravated if not
caused by over-stimulation of the brain, by irregular hours of sleep,
or by the use of "soothing" medicines, or eating indigestible food.
4. SKIN AFFECTIONS.--Skin affections are generally due to want of
proper care of the skin, to improper clothing or feeding, or to
indiscriminate association with nurses and Children, who are the
carriers of contagious diseases.
5. PERMANENT INJURY.--Permanent injury is often caused by lifting the
child by one hand, allowing it to fall, permitting it to play with
sharp instruments, etc.
6. RULES AND PRINCIPLES.--Every mother should understand the rules and
principles of home nursing. Children are very tender plants and the
want of proper knowledge is often very disastrous if not fatal. Study
carefully and follow the principles and rules which are laid down in
the different parts of this work on nursing and cooking for the sick.
7. WHAT A MOTHER SHOULD KNOW:
I. INFANT FEEDING.--The care of milk, milk sterilization, care of
bottles, preparation of commonly employed infant foods, the general
principles of infant feeding, with rules as to quality and
frequency.
II. BATHING.--The daily bath; the use of hot, cold and mustard
baths.
III. HYGIENE OF THE SKIN. Care of the mouth, eyes and ears.
Ventilation, temperature, cleanliness, care of napkins, etc.
IV. TRAINING OF CHILDREN in proper bodily habits. Simple means of
treatment in sickness, etc.
8. THE CRY OF THE SICK CHILD.--The cry of the child is a language
by which the character of its suffering to some extent may be
ascertained. The manner in which the cry is uttered, or the pitch and
tone is generally a symptom of a certain kind of disease.
9. STOMACHACHE.--The cry of the child in suffering with pain of the
stomach is loud, excitable and spasmodic. The legs are drawn up and as
the pain ceases, they are relaxed and the child sobs itself to sleep,
and rests until awakened again by pain.
10. LUNG TROUBLE.--When a child is suffering with an affection of the
lungs or throat, it never cries loudly or continuously. A distress in
breathing causes a sort of subdued cry and low moaning. If there is
a slight cough it is generally a sign that there is some complication
with the lungs.
11. DISEASE OF THE BRAIN.--In disease of the brain the cry is always
sharp, short and piercing. Drowsiness generally follows each spasm of
pain.
12. FEVERS.--Children rarely cry when suffering with fever unless they
are disturbed. They should be handled very gently and spoken to in a
very quiet and tender tone of voice.
13. THE CHAMBER OF THE SICK ROOM.--The room of the sick child should
be kept scrupulously clean. No noise should disturb the quiet and rest
of the child. If the weather is mild, plenty of fresh air should
be admitted; the temperature should be kept at about 70 degrees. A
thermometer should be kept in the room, and the air should be changed
several times during the day. This may be done with safety to the
child by covering it up with woolen blankets to protect it from draft,
while the windows and doors are opened. Fresh air often does more to
restore the sick child than the doctor's medicine. Take the best
room in the house. If necessary take the parlor, always make the room
pleasant for the sick.
14. VISITORS.--Carefully avoid the conversation of visitors or the
loud and boisterous playing of children in the house. If there is much
noise about the house that cannot be avoided, it is a good plan to put
cotton in the ears of the patient.
15. LIGHT IN THE ROOM.--Light has a tendency to produce nervous
irritability, consequently it is best to exclude as much daylight
as possible and keep the room in a sort of twilight until the child
begins to improve. Be careful to avoid any odor coming from a burning
lamp in the night. When the child begins to recover, give it plenty of
sunlight. After the child begins to get better let in all the sunlight
the windows will admit. Take a south room for the sick bed.
16. SICKNESS IN SUMMER.--If the weather is very hot it is a good plan
to dampen the floors with cold water, or set several dishes of water
in the room, but be careful to keep the patient out of the draft, and
avoid any sudden change of temperature.
17. BATHING.--Bathe every sick child in warm water once a day unless
prohibited by the doctor. If the child has a spasm or any attack of a
serious nervous character in absence of the doctor, place him in a hot
bath at once. Hot water is one of the finest agencies for the cure of
nervous diseases.
[Illustration]
18. SCARLET FEVER AND MEASLES.--Bathe the child in warm water to bring
out the rash, and put in about a dessertspoonsful of mustard into each
bath.
19. DRINKS.--If a child is suffering with fevers, let it have all the
water it wants. Toast-water will be found nourishing. When the stomach
of the child is in an irritable condition, nourishments containing
milk or any other fluid should be given very sparingly. Barley-water
and rice-water are very soothing to an irritable stomach.
20. FOOD.--Mellin's Food and milk is very nourishing if the child
will take it. Oatmeal gruel, white of eggs, etc. are excellent and
nourishing articles. See "How to cook for the Sick."
21. EATING FRUIT.--Let children who are recovering from sickness eat
moderately of good fresh fruit. Never let a child, whether well or
sick, eat the skins of any kind of fruit. The outer covering of fruit
was not made to eat, and often has poisonous matter very injurious to
health upon its surface. Contagious and infectious diseases are often
communicated in that way.
22. SUDDEN STARTINGS with the thumbs drawn into the palms, portend
trouble with the brain, and often end in convulsions, which are far
more serious in infants than in children. Convulsions in children
often result from a suppression of urine. If you have occasion to
believe that such is the case, get the patient to sweating as soon as
possible. Give it a hot bath, after which cover it up in bed and put
bags of hot salt over the lower part of the abdomen.
23. SYMPTOMS OF INDIGESTION.--If the baby shows symptoms of
indigestion, do not begin giving it medicine. It is wiser to decrease
the quantity and quality of the food and let the little one omit one
meal entirely, that his stomach may rest. Avoid all starchy foods,
as the organs of digestion are not sufficiently developed to receive
them.
A TABLE FOR FEEDING A BABY ON MODIFIED MILK.
2d week:
Top Milk 1-1/2 oz.
Milk Sugar 4 teaspoons
Barley Gruel 10 oz.
Cream 2-3/4 oz.
Lime Water 2 oz.
1-1/2 oz. at feeding
10 times a day
3d week:
Top Milk 6 oz.
Milk Sugar 5-1/2 teaspoons
Barley Gruel 18 oz.
Lime Water 4 oz.
2 oz. at feeding
10 times a day
4th to 8th week:
Top Milk 9 oz.
Milk Sugar 8 teaspoons
Barley Gruel to make a quart
Lime Water 4 oz.
3 oz. at feeding
8 times a day
9th to 12th week:
Top Milk 11 oz.
Milk Sugar 7-1/2 teaspoons
Barley Gruel to make a quart
Lime Water 4 oz.
3 oz. at feeding
8 times a day
4th month:
Top Milk 13 oz.
Milk Sugar 7 teaspoons
Barley Gruel to make a quart
Lime Water 4 oz.
3 to 4 oz. at feeding
7 times a day
5th to 7th month:
Top Milk 15 oz.
Milk Sugar 6-1/2 teaspoons
Barley Gruel to make a quart
Lime Water 4 oz.
4 to 5 oz. at feeding
6 times a day
7th to 9th month:
Top Milk 17 oz.
Milk Sugar 6 teaspoons
Barley Gruel to make a quart
Lime Water 4 oz.
6 to 7 oz. at feeding
6 times a day
Top Milk--Let your quart of milk stand until the cream has risen, then
pour off number of ounces required.
Sugar of Milk may be purchased at your local druggist's.
Gruel is prepared by cooking one level tablespoon of any good barley
flour in a pint of water with a pinch of salt. When partly cooled add
to the milk.
NURSING.
Period: 1st and 2d day
Nursing in 24 hours: 4
Interval by day: 6 hrs.
Night nursings 10 p.m. to 6 a.m.: 1
Period: 3 days to 4 weeks
Nursing in 24 hours: 10
Interval by day: 2 hrs.
Night nursings 10 p.m. to 6 a.m.: 1
Period: 4 weeks to 2 mo.
Nursing in 24 hours: 8
Interval by day: 2-1/2 hrs.
Night nursings 10 p.m. to 6 a.m.: 1
Period: 2 to 5 mo.
Nursing in 24 hours: 7
Interval by day: 3 hrs.
Night nursings 10 p.m. to 6 a.m.: 1
Period: 5 to 12 mo.
Nursing in 24 hours: 6
Interval by day: 3 hrs.
Night nursings 10 p.m. to 6 a.m.: 0
SCHEDULE FOR FEEDING HEALTHY INFANTS DURING FIRST YEAR
Age: 2d to 7th day
Interval between meals by day: 2 hours
Night feedings 10 p.m. to 7 a.m.: 1
No. of feedings in 24 hours: 10
Quantity for one feeding: 1 to 1-1/2 ounces
Quantity in 24 hours: 10 to 15 ounces
Age: 2d and 3d week
Interval between meals by day: 2 hours
Night feedings 10 p.m. to 7 a.m.: 1
No. of feedings in 24 hours: 10
Quantity for one feeding: 1-1/2 to 3 ounces
Quantity in 24 hours: 15 to 30 ounces
Age: 4th and 5th weeks
Interval between meals by day: 2-1/2 hours
Night feedings 10 p.m. to 7 a.m.: 1
No. of feedings in 24 hours: 8
Quantity for one feeding: 2-1/2 to 4 ounces
Quantity in 24 hours: 20 to 32 ounces
Age: 6th to 9th week
Interval between meals by day: 2-1/2 hours
Night feedings 10 p.m. to 7 a.m.: 1
No. of feedings in 24 hours: 8
Quantity for one feeding: 3 to 5 ounces
Quantity in 24 hours: 24 to 40 ounces
Age: 9th week to 5th mo.
Interval between meals by day: 3 hours
Night feedings 10 p.m. to 7 a.m.: 1
No. of feedings in 24 hours: 7
Quantity for one feeding: 4 to 6 ounces
Quantity in 24 hours: 28 to 42 ounces
Age: 5th to 9th month
Interval between meals by day: 3 hours
Night feedings 10 p.m. to 7 a.m.: 0
No. of feedings in 24 hours: 6
Quantity for one feeding: 5 to 7-1/2 ounces
Quantity in 24 hours: 30 to 45 ounces
Age: 9th to 12th month
Interval between meals by day: 4 hours
Night feedings 10 p.m. to 7 a.m.: 0
No. of feedings in 24 hours: 5
Quantity for one feeding: 7 to 9 ounces
Quantity in 24 hours: 35 to 45 ounces
[Illustration: A delicate child should never be put into the bath, but
bathed on the lap and kept warmly covered.]
* * * * *
HOW TO KEEP A BABY WELL.
1. The mother's milk is the natural food, and nothing can fully take
its place.
2. The infant's stomach does not readily accommodate itself to changes
in diet; therefore, regularity in quality, quantity and temperature is
extremely necessary.
3. Not until a child is a year old should it be allowed any food
except that of milk, and possibly a little cracker or bread,
thoroughly soaked and softened.
4. Meat should never be given to very young children. The best
artificial food is cream, reduced and sweetened with sugar and milk.
No rule can be given for its reduction. Observation and experience
must teach that, because every child's stomach is governed by a rule
of its own.
5. A child can be safely weaned at one year of age, and sometimes
less. It depends entirely upon the season, and upon the health of the
child.
6. A child should never be weaned during the warm weather, in June,
July or August.
7. When a child is weaned it may be given, in connection with the milk
diet, some such nourishment as broth, gruel, egg, or some prepared
food.
8. A child should never be allowed to come to the table until two
years of age.
9. A child should never eat much starchy food until four years old.
10. A child should have all the water it desires to drink, but it is
decidedly the best to boil the water first, and allow it to cool. All
the impurities and disease germs are thereby destroyed. This one thing
alone will add greatly to the health and vigor of the child.
11. Where there is a tendency to bowel disorder, a little gum arabic,
rice, or barley may be boiled with the drinking water.
12. If the child uses a bottle it should be kept absolutely clean.
It is best to have two or three bottles, so that one will always be
perfectly clean and fresh.
13. The nipple should be of black or pure rubber, and not of the white
or vulcanized rubber; it should fit over the top of the bottle. No
tubes should ever be used; it is impossible to keep them clean.
14. When the rubber becomes coated, a little coarse salt will clean
it.
15. Babies should be fed at regular times. They should also be put to
sleep at regular hours. Regularity is one of the best safeguards to
health.
16. Milk for babies and children should be from healthy cows. Milk
from different cows varies, and it is always better for a child
to have milk from the same cow. A farrow cow's milk is preferable,
especially if the child is not very strong.
17. Many of the prepared foods advertised for children are of little
benefit. A few may be good, but what is good for one child may not be
for another. So it must be simply a matter of experiment if any of the
advertised foods are used.
18. It is a physiological fact that an infant is always healthier
and better to sleep alone. It gets better air and is not liable to
suffocation.
19. A healthy child should never be fed in less than two hours from
the last time they finished before, gradually lengthening the time
as it grows older. At 4 months 3-1/2 or 4 hours; at 5 months a healthy
child will be better if given nothing in the night except, perhaps, a
little water.
20. Give an infant a little water several times a day.
21. A delicate child the first year should be oiled after each bath.
The oiling may often take the place of the bath, in case of a cold.
22. In oiling a babe, use pure olive oil, and wipe off thoroughly
after each application. For nourishing a weak child use also olive
oil.
23. For colds, coughs, croup, etc., use goose oil externally and give
a teaspoonful at bed-time.
[Illustration: FOUND UPON THE DOORSTEP.]
* * * * *
HOW TO PRESERVE THE HEALTH AND LIFE OF YOUR INFANT DURING HOT
WEATHER.
_BATHING._
1. Bathe infants daily in tepid water and even twice a day in hot
weather.
If delicate they should be sponged instead of immersing them in water,
but cleanliness is absolutely necessary for the health of infants.
_CLOTHING._
2. Put no bands in their clothing, but make all garments to hang
loosely from the shoulders, and have all their clothing _scrupulously
clean_; even the diaper should not be re-used without rinsing.
_SLEEP ALONE._
3. The child should in all cases sleep by itself on a cot or in a crib
and retire at a regular hour. A child _always_ early taught to go to
sleep without rocking or nursing is the healthier and happier for it.
Begin _at birth_ and this will be easily accomplished.
_CORDIALS AND SOOTHING SYRUPS._
4. Never give cordials, soothing syrups, sleeping drops etc., without
the advice of a physician. A child that frets and does not sleep is
either hungry or ill. _If ill it needs a physician._ Never give candy
or cake to quiet a small child, they are sure to produce disorders of
the stomach, diarrhoea or some other trouble.
_FRESH AIR._
5. Children should have plenty of fresh air summer as well as winter.
Avoid the severe hot sun and the heated kitchen for infants in summer.
Heat is the great destroyer of infants.
_CLEAN HOUSES._
6. Keep your house clean and cool and well aired night and day. Your
cellars cleared of all rubbish and white-washed every spring, your
drains cleaned with strong solution of copperas or chloride of lime,
poured down them once a week. Keep your gutters and yards clean and
insist upon your neighbors doing the same.
_EVACUATIONS OF A CHILD._
The healthy motion varies from light orange yellow to greenish yellow,
in number, two to four times daily. Smell should never be offensive.
Slimy mucous-like jelly passages indicate worms. Pale green,
offensive, acrid motions indicate disordered stomach. Dark green
indicate acid secretions and a more serious trouble.
Fetid dark brown stools are present in chronic diarrhoea Putty-like
pasty passages are due to aridity curdling the milk or to torpid
liver.
[Illustration]
_BREAST MILK._
7. Breast milk is the only proper food for infants until after the
second summer. If the supply is small keep what you have and feed the
child in connection with it, for if the babe is ill this breast milk
may be all that will save its life.
_STERILIZED MILK._
8. Milk is the best food. Goat's milk best, cows milk next. If the
child thrives on this _nothing else_ should be given during the hot
weather, until the front teeth are cut. Get fresh cow's milk twice
a day if the child requires food in the night, pour it into a glass
fruit jar with one-third pure water for a child under three months
old, afterwards the proportion of water may be less and less, also a
trifle of sugar may be added.
Then place the jar in a kettle or pan of cold water, like the bottom
of an oatmeal kettle. Leave the cover of the jar loose. Place it on
the stove and let the water come to a boil and boil ten minutes, screw
down the cover tight and boil ten minutes more, then remove from the
fire, and allow it to cool in the water slowly so as not to break
the jar. When partly cool put on the ice or in a cool place, and keep
tightly covered except when the milk is poured out for use. The glass
jar must be kept perfectly clean and washed and scalded carefully
before use. A tablespoonful of lime water to a bottle of milk will
aid indigestion. Discard the bottle as soon as possible and use a
cup which you know is clean, whereas a bottle must be kept in water
constantly when not in use, or the sour milk will make the child sick.
Use no tube for it is exceedingly hard to keep it clean, and if pure
milk cannot be had, condensed milk is admirable and does not need to
be sterilized as the above.
_DIET._
9. Never give babies under two years old such food if grown persons
eat. Their chief diet should be milk, wheat bread and milk, oatmeal,
possibly a little rare boiled egg, but always and chiefly milk. Germ
wheat is also excellent.
[Illustration]
_EXERCISE._
10. Children should have exercise in the house as well as outdoors,
but should not be jolted and jumped and jarred in rough play, not
rudely rocked in the cradle, nor carelessly trundled over bumps in
their carriages. They should not be held too much in the arms, but
allowed to crawl and kick upon the floor and develop their limbs and
muscles. A child should not be lifted by its arms nor dragged along by
one hand after it learns to take a few feeble steps, but when they do
learn to walk steadily it is the best of all exercise, especially in
the open air.
Let the children as they grow older romp and play in the open air all
they wish, girls as well as boys. Give the girls an even chance for
health, while they are young at least, and don't mind about their
complexion.
[Illustration]
* * * * *
INFANT TEETHING.
1. REMARKABLE INSTANCES.--There are instances where babies have been
born with teeth, and, on the other hand, there are cases of persons
who have never had any teeth at all; and others that had double teeth
all around in both upper and lower jaws, but these are rare instances,
and may be termed as a sort of freaks of nature.
2. INFANT TEETHING.--The first teeth generally make their appearance
after the third month, and during the period of teething the child is
fretful and restless, causing sometimes constitutional disturbances,
such as diarrhoea, indigestion, etc. Usually, however, no serious
results follow, and no unnecessary anxiety need be felt, unless
the weather is extremely warm, then there is some danger of summer
complaint setting in and seriously complicating matters.
3. THE NUMBER OF TEETH.--Teeth are generally cut in pairs and make
their appearance first in the front and going backwards until all are
complete. It generally takes about two years for a temporary set of
children's teeth. A child two or three years old should have twenty
teeth. After the age of seven they generally begin to loosen and fall
out and permanent teeth take their place.
4. LANCING THE GUMS.--This is very rarely necessary. There are extreme
cases when the condition of the mouth and health of the child demand
a physician's lance, but this should not he resorted to, unless it
is absolutely necessary. When the gums are very much swollen and
the tooth is nearly through, the pains may be relieved by the mother
taking a thimble and pressing it down upon the tooth, the sharp edges
of the tooth will cut through the swollen flesh, and instant relief
will follow. A child in a few hours or a day will be perfectly happy
after a very severe and trying time of sickness.
5. PERMANENT TEETH.--The teeth are firmly inserted in sockets of the
upper and lower jaw. The permanent teeth which follow the temporary
teeth, when complete, are sixteen in each jaw, or thirty-two in all.
6. NAMES OF TEETH.--There are four incisors (front teeth), four
cuspids (eye teeth), four bicuspids (grinders), and four molars (large
grinders), in each jaw. Each tooth is divided into the crown, body,
and root. The crown is the grinding surface; the body--the part
projecting from the jaw--is the seat of sensation and nutrition; the
root is that portion of the tooth which is inserted in the alveolus.
The teeth are composed of dentine (ivory) and enamel. The ivory forms
the greater portion of the body and root, while the enamel covers the
exposed surface. The small white cords communicating with the teeth
are the nerves.
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
* * * * *
HOME TREATMENT FOR THE DISEASES OF INFANTS AND CHILDREN.
1. Out of every 1000 persons that died during the year of 1912, 175
did not reach one year of age, and 244 died under five years of age.
What a fearful responsibility therefore rests upon the parents who
permit these hundreds of thousands of children to die annually. This
terrible mortality among children is undoubtedly largely the result
of ignorance as regarding to the proper care and treatment of sick
children.
2. For very small children it is always best to use homoeopathic
remedies.
_COLIC._
1. Babies often suffer severely with colic. It is not considered
dangerous, but causes considerable suffering.
2. Severe colic is usually the result of derangement of the liver in
the mother, or of her insufficient or improper nourishment, and it
occurs more frequently when the child is from two to five months old.
3. Let the mother eat chiefly barley, wheat and bread, rolled wheat,
graham bread, fish, milk, eggs and fruit. The latter may be freely
eaten, avoiding that which is very sour.
4. A rubber bag or bottle filled with hot water put into a crib,
will keep the child, once quieted, asleep for hours. If a child is
suffering from colic, it should be thoroughly warmed and kept warm.
5. Avoid giving opiates of any kind, such as cordials, Mrs. Winslow's
Soothing Syrup, "Mother's Friend," and various other patent medicines.
They injure the stomach and health of the child, instead of benefiting
it.
6. REMEDIES.--A few tablespoonfuls of hot water will often allay a
severe attack of the colic. Catnip tea is also a good remedy.
A drop of essence of peppermint in 6 or 7 teaspoonfuls of hot water
will give relief.
If the stools are green and the child is very restless, give
chamomilla.
If the child is suffering from constipation, and undigested curds of
milk appear in its faeces, and the child starts suddenly in its sleep,
give nux vomica.
An injection of a few spoonfuls of hot water into the rectum with
a little asafoetida is an effective remedy, and will be good for an
adult.
_CONSTIPATION._
1. This is a very frequent ailment of infants. The first thing
necessary is for the mother to regulate her diet.
2. If the child is nursed regularly and held out at the same time of
each day, it will seldom be troubled with this complaint. Give plenty
of _water_. Regularity of habit is the remedy. If this method fails,
use a soap suppository. Make it by paring a piece of white castile
soap round. It should be made about the size of a lead pencil, pointed
at the end.
3. Avoid giving a baby drugs. Let the physician administer them if
necessary.
_DIARRHOEA._
Great care should be exercised by parents in checking the diarrhoea of
children. Many times serious diseases are brought on by parents being
too hasty in checking this disorder of the bowels. It is an infant's
first method of removing obstructions and overcoming derangements of
the system.
_SUMMER COMPLAINT._
1. Summer complaint is an irritation and inflammation of the lining
membranes of the intestines. This may often be caused by teething,
eating indigestible food, etc.
2. If the discharges are only frequent and yellow and not accompanied
with pain, there is no cause for anxiety; but if the discharges
are green, soon becoming gray, brown and sometimes frothy, having
a mixture of phlegm, and sometimes containing food undigested, a
physician had better be summoned.
3. For mild attacks the following treatment may be given:
1) Keep the child perfectly quiet and keep the room well aired.
2) Put a drop of tincture of camphor on a teaspoonful of sugar,
mix thoroughly; then add 6 teaspoonfuls of hot water and give a
teaspoonful of the mixture every ten minutes. This is indicated where
the discharges are watery, and where there is vomiting and coldness of
the feet and hands. Chamomilla is also an excellent remedy. Ipecac and
nux vomica may also be given.
In giving homoeopathic remedies, give 5 or 6 pellets every 2 or 3
hours.
3) The diet should be wholesome and nourishing.
_FOR TEETHING._
If a child is suffering with swollen gums, is feverish, restless, and
starts in its sleep, give nux vomica.
WORMS.
_PIN WORMS._
Pin worms and round worms are the most common in children. They are
generally found in the lower bowels.
SYMPTOMS.--Restlessness, itching about the anus in the fore part of
the evening, and worms in the faeces.
TREATMENT.--Give with a syringe an injection of a tablespoonful of
linseed oil. Cleanliness is also very necessary.
_ROUND WORMS._
A round worm is from six to sixteen inches in length, resembling the
common earth worm. It inhabits generally the small intestines, but it
sometimes enters the stomach and is thrown up by vomiting.
SYMPTOMS.--Distress, indigestion, swelling of the abdomen, grinding of
the teeth, restlessness, and sometimes convulsions.
TREATMENT.--One teaspoonful of powdered wormseed mixed with a
sufficient quantity of molasses, or spread on bread and butter.
Or, one grain of santonine every four hours for two or three
days, followed by a brisk cathartic. Wormwood tea is also highly
recommended.
SWAIM'S VERMIFUGE.
2 ounces wormseed,
1-1/2 ounces valerian,
1-1/2 ounces rhubarb,
1-1/2 ounces pink-root,
1-1/2 ounces white agaric.
Boil in sufficient water to yield 3 quarts of decoction, and add to it
30 drops of oil of tansy and 45 drops of oil of cloves, dissolved in a
quart of rectified spirits. Dose, 1 teaspoonful at night.
_ANOTHER EXCELLENT VERMIFUGE._
Oil of wormseed, 1 ounce,
Oil of anise, 1 ounce,
Castor oil, 1 ounce,
Tinct. of myrrh, 2 drops,
Oil of turpentine, 10 drops.
Mix thoroughly.
Always shake well before using.
Give 10 to 15 drops in cold coffee, once or twice a day.
[Illustration]
HOW TO TREAT CROUP
SPASMODIC AND TRUE.
_SPASMODIC CROUP._
DEFINITION.--A spasmodic closure of the glottis which interferes with
respiration. Comes on suddenly and usually at night, without much
warning. It is a purely nervous disease and may be caused by reflex
nervous irritation from undigested food in the stomach or bowels,
irritation of the gums in dentition, or from brain disorders.
SYMPTOMS.--Child awakens suddenly at night with suspended respiration
or very difficult breathing. After a few respirations it cries out and
then falls asleep quietly, or the attack may last an hour or so, when
the face will become pale, veins in the neck become turgid and feet
and hands contract spasmodically. In mild cases the attacks will only
occur once during the night, but may recur on the following night.
HOME TREATMENT.--During the paroxysm dashing cold water in the face
is a common remedy. To terminate the spasm and prevent its return give
teaspoonful doses of powdered alum. The syrup of squills is an old and
tried remedy; give in 15 to 30 drop doses and repeat every 10 minutes
till vomiting occurs. Seek out the cause if possible and remove it. It
commonly lies in some derangement of the digestive organs.
_TRUE CROUP._
DEFINITION.--This disease consists of an inflammation of the mucous
membrane of the upper air passages, particularly of the larynx with
the formation of a false membrane that obstructs the breathing. The
disease is most common in children between the ages of two and seven
years, but it may occur at any age.
SYMPTOMS.--Usually there are symptoms of a cold for three or four days
previous to the attack. Marked hoarseness is observed in the evening
with a ringing metallic cough and some difficulty in breathing, which
increases and becomes somewhat paroxysmal till the face which was at
first flushed becomes pallid and ashy in hue. The efforts at breathing
become very great, and unless the child gets speedy relief it will die
of suffocation.
HOME TREATMENT.--Patient should be kept in a moist warm atmosphere,
and cold water applied to the neck early in the attack. As soon as the
breathing seems difficult give a half to one teaspoonful of powdered
alum in honey to produce vomiting and apply the remedies suggested in
the treatment of diphtheria, as the two diseases are thought by many
to be identical. When the breathing becomes labored and face becomes
pallid, the condition is very serious and a physician should be called
without delay.
_SCARLET FEVER._
DEFINITION.--An eruptive contagious disease, brought about by direct
exposure to those having the disease, or by contact with clothing,
dishes, or other articles, used about the sick room.
The clothing may be disinfected by heating to a temperature of 230
[degrees] Fahrenheit or by dipping in boiling water before washing.
Dogs and cats will also carry the disease and should be kept from the
house, and particularly from the sick room.
SYMPTOMS.--Chilly sensations or a decided chill, fever, headache,
furred tongue, vomiting, sore throat, rapid pulse, hot dry skin and
more or less stupor. In from 6 to 18 hours a fine red rash appears
about the ears, neck and shoulders, which rapidly spreads to the
entire surface of the body. After a few days, a scurf or branny scales
will begin to form on the skin. These scales are the principal source
of contagion.
HOME TREATMENT.
1. Isolate the patient from other members of the family to prevent the
spread of the disease.
2. Keep the patient in bed and give a fluid diet of milk gruel, beef
tea, etc., with plenty of cold water to drink.
3. Control the fever by sponging the body with tepid water, and
relieve the pain in the throat by cold compresses, applied externally.
4. As soon as the skin shows a tendency to become scaly, apply goose
grease or clean lard with a little boracic acid powder dusted in it,
or better, perhaps, carbolized vaseline to relieve the itching and
prevent the scales from being scattered about, and subjecting others
to the contagion.
REGULAR TREATMENT.--A few drops of aconite every three hours to
regulate the pulse, and if the skin be pale and circulation feeble,
with tardy eruption, administer one to ten drops of tincture of
belladonna, according to the age of the patient. At the end of third
week, if eyes look puffy and feet swell, there is danger of Acute
Bright's disease, and a physician should be consulted. If the case
does not progress well under the home remedies suggested, a physician
should be called at once.
_WHOOPING COUGH._
DEFINITION.--This is a contagious disease which is known by a peculiar
whooping sound in the cough. Considerable mucus is thrown off after
each attack of spasmodic coughing.
SYMPTOMS.--It usually commences with the symptoms of a common cold
in the head, some chilliness, feverishness, restlessness, headache, a
feeling of tightness across the chest, violent paroxysms of coughing,
sometimes almost threatening suffocation, and accompanied with
vomiting.
HOME TREATMENT.--Patient should eat plain food and avoid cold drafts
and damp air, but keep in the open air as much as possible. A strong
tea made of the tops of red clover is highly recommended. A strong tea
made of chestnut leaves, sweetened with sugar, is also very good.
1 teaspoonful of powdered alum,
1 teaspoonful of syrup.
Mix in a tumbler of water, and give the child one teaspoonful every
two or three hours. A kerosene lamp kept burning in the bed chamber
at night is said to lessen the cough and shorten the course of the
disease.
_MUMPS._
DEFINITION.--This is a contagious disease causing the inflammation
of the salivary glands, and is generally a disease of childhood and
youth.
SYMPTOMS.--A slight fever, stiffness of the neck and lower jaw,
swelling and soreness of the gland. It usually develops in four or
five days and then begins to disappear.
HOME TREATMENT.--Apply to the swelling a hot poultice of cornmeal and
bread and milk. A hop poultice is also excellent. Take a good dose of
physic and rest carefully. A warm general bath, or mustard foot bath,
is very good. Avoid exposure or cold drafts. If a bad cold is taken,
serious results may follow.
_MEASLES._
DEFINITION.--It is an eruptive, contagious disease, preceded by cough
and other catarrhal symptoms for about four or five days. The eruption
comes rapidly in small red spots, which are slightly raised.
SYMPTOMS.--A feeling of weakness, loss of appetite, some fever, cold
in the head, frequent sneezing, watery eyes, dry cough and a hot skin.
The disease takes effect nine or ten days after exposure.
HOME TREATMENT.--Measles is not a dangerous disease in the child,
but in an adult it is often very serious. In childhood very little
medicine is necessary, but exposure must be carefully avoided, and
the patient kept in bed, in a moderately warm room. The diet should
be light and nourishing. Keep the room dark. If the eruption does not
come out promptly, apply hot baths.
COMMON TREATMENT.--Two teaspoonfuls of spirits of nitre, one
teaspoonful paregoric, one wineglassful of camphor water. Mix
thoroughly, and give a teaspoonful in half a teacupful of water every
two hours. To relieve the cough, if troublesome, flax seed tea, or
infusion of slippery-elm bark, with a little lemon juice to render
more palatable, will be of benefit.
_CHICKEN POX._
DEFINITION.--This is a contagious, eruptive disease, which resembles
to some extent small-pox. The pointed vesicles or pimples have a
depression in the center in chicken-pox, and in small pox they do not.
SYMPTOMS.--Nine to seventeen days elapse after the exposure, before
symptoms appear. Slight fever, a sense of sickness, the appearance of
scattered pimples, some itching and heat. The pimples rapidly change
into little blisters, filled with a watery fluid. After five or six
days they disappear.
HOME TREATMENT.--Milk diet, and avoid all kinds of meat. Keep the
bowels open, and avoid all exposure to cold. Large vesicles on the
face should be punctured early and irritation by rubbing should be
avoided.
_HOME TREATMENT OF DIPHTHERIA._
DEFINITION.--Acute, specific, constitutional disease, with local
manifestations in the throat, mouth, nose, larynx, wind-pipe, and
glands of the neck. The disease is infectious but not very contagious
under the proper precautions. It is a disease of childhood, though
adults sometimes contract it. Many of the best physicians of the
day consider true or membranous croup to be due to this diphtheritic
membranous disease thus located in the larynx or trachea.
SYMPTOMS.--Symptoms vary according to the severity of the attack.
Chills, fever, headache, languor, loss of appetite, stiffness of neck,
with tenderness about the angles of the jaw, soreness of the throat,
pain in the ear, aching of the limbs, loss of strength, coated tongue,
swelling of the neck, and offensive breath; lymphatic glands on side
of neck enlarged and tender. The throat is first to be seen red and
swollen, then covered with grayish white patches, which spread, and
a false membrane is found on the mucous membrane. If the nose is
attacked, there will be an offensive discharge, and the child will
breathe through the mouth. If the larynx or throat are involved,
the voice will become hoarse, and a croupy cough, with difficult
breathing, shows that the air passage to the lungs is being obstructed
by the false membrane.
HOME TREATMENT.--Isolate the patient, to prevent the spread of the
disease. Diet should be of the most nutritious character, as milk,
eggs, broths, and oysters. Give at intervals of every two or three
hours. If patient refuses to swallow, from the pain caused by the
effort, a nutrition injection must be resorted to. Inhalations of
steam and hot water, and allowing the patient to suck pellets of ice,
will give relief. Sponges dipped in hot water, and applied to the
angles of the jaw, are beneficial. Inhalations of lime, made by
slaking freshly burnt lime in a vessel, and directing the vapor to the
child's mouth, by means of a newspaper, or similar contrivance. Flour
of sulphur, blown into the back of the mouth and throat by means of
a goose quill, has been highly recommended. Frequent gargling of the
throat and mouth, with a solution of lactic acid, strong enough to
taste sour, will help to keep the parts clean, and correct the
foul breath. If there is great prostration, with the nasal passage
affected, or hoarseness and difficult breathing, a physician should be
called at once.
[Illustration]
* * * * *
DISEASES OF WOMEN.
_DISORDERS OF THE MENSES._
1. SUPPRESSION OF, OR SCANTY MENSES.
HOME TREATMENT.--Attention to the diet, and exercise in the open air
to promote the general health. Some bitter tonic, taken with fifteen
grains of dialyzed iron, well diluted, after meals, if patient is pale
and debilitated. A hot foot bath is often all that is necessary.
2. PROFUSE MENSTRUATION.
HOME TREATMENT.--Avoid highly seasoned food, and the use of spirituous
liquors; also excessive fatigue, either physical or mental. To check
the flow, patient should be kept quiet, and allowed to sip cinnamon
tea during the period.
3. PAINFUL MENSTRUATION.
HOME TREATMENT.--Often brought on by colds. Treat by warm hip baths,
hot drinks (avoiding spirituous liquors), and heat applied to the back
and extremities. A teaspoonful of the fluid extract of viburnum will
sometimes act like a charm.
_HOW TO CURE SWELLED AND SORE BREASTS._
Take and boil a quantity of chamomile, and apply the hot fomentations.
This dissolves the knot, and reduces the swelling and soreness.
_LEUCORRHEA OR WHITES._
HOME TREATMENT.--This disorder, if not arising from some abnormal
condition of the pelvic organs, can easily be cured by patient taking
the proper amount of exercise and good nutritious food, avoiding tea
and coffee. An injection every evening of one teaspoonful of Pond's
Extract in a cup of hot water, after first cleansing the vagina well
with a quart of warm water, is a simple but effective remedy.
_INFLAMMATION OF THE WOMB._
HOME TREATMENT.--When in the acute form this disease is ushered in
by a chill, followed by fever, and pain in the region of the womb.
Patient should be placed in bed, and a brisk purgative given, hot
poultices applied to the abdomen, and the feet and hands kept warm. If
the symptoms do not subside, a physician should be consulted.
_HYSTERIA._
DEFINITION.--A functional disorder of the nervous system of which it
is impossible to speak definitely; characterized by disturbance of
the reason, will, imagination, and emotions, with sometimes convulsive
attacks that resemble epilepsy.
SYMPTOMS.--Fits of laughter, and tears without apparent cause;
emotions easily excited; mind often melancholy and depressed;
tenderness along the spine; disturbances, of digestion, with
hysterical convulsions, and other nervous phenomena.
HOME TREATMENT.--Some healthy and pleasant employment should be urged
upon women afflicted with this disease. Men are also subject to it,
though not so frequently. Avoid excessive fatigue and mental worry;
also stimulants and opiates. Plenty of good food and fresh air will do
more good than drugs.
* * * * *
FALLING OF THE WOMB.
CAUSES.--The displacement of the womb usually is the result of too
much childbearing, miscarriages, abortions, or the taking of strong
medicines to bring about menstruation. It may also be the result in
getting up too quickly from the childbed. There are, however, other
causes, such as a general breaking down of the health.
SYMPTOMS.--If the womb has fallen forward it presses against the
bladder, causing the patient to urinate frequently. If the womb has
fallen back, it presses against the rectum, and constipation is the
result with often severe pain at stool. If the womb descends into
the vagina there is a feeling of heaviness. All forms of displacement
produce pain in the back, with an irregular and scanty menstrual flow
and a dull and exhausted feeling.
HOME TREATMENT.--Improve the general health. Take some preparation of
cod-liver oil, hot injections (of a teaspoonful of powdered alum with
a pint of water), a daily sitz-bath, and a regular morning bath three
times a week will be found very beneficial. There, however, can be no
remedy unless the womb is first replaced to the proper position.
This must be done by a competent physician who should frequently be
consulted.
[Illustration]
* * * * *
MENSTRUATION.
1. ITS IMPORTANCE.--Menstruation plays a momentous part in the
female economy; indeed, unless it be in every way properly and duly
performed, it is neither possible that a lady can be well, nor is it
at all probable that she will conceive. The large number of barren, of
delicate, and of hysterical women there are in America arises mainly
from menstruation not being duly and properly performed.
2. THE BOUNDARY-LINE.--Menstruation--"the periods"--the appearance of
the catamenia or the menses--is then one of the most important epochs
in a girl's life. It is the boundary-line, the landmark between
childhood and womanhood; it is the threshold, so to speak, of a
woman's life. Her body now develops and expands, and her mental
capacity enlarges and improves.
3. THE COMMENCEMENT OF MENSTRUATION.--A good beginning at this time
is peculiarly necessary, or a girl's health is sure to suffer and
different organs of the body--her lungs, for instance, may become
imperiled. A healthy continuation, at regular periods, is also much
needed, or conception, when she is married, may not occur. Great
attention and skillful management is required to ward off many
formidable diseases, which at the close of menstruation--at "the
change of life"--are more likely than at any time to be developed. If
she marry when very young, marriage weakens her system, and prevents
a full development of her body. Moreover, such an one is, during the
progress of her labor, prone to convulsions--which is a very serious
childbed complication.
4. EARLY MARRIAGES.--Statistics prove that twenty per cent--20 in
every 100--of females who marry are under age, and that such early
marriages are often followed by serious, and sometimes even by
fatal consequences to mother, to progeny, or to both. Parents ought,
therefore, to persuade their daughters not to marry until they are
of age--twenty-one; they should point out to them the risk and danger
likely to ensue if their advice be not followed; they should Impress
upon their minds the old adage:
"Early wed,
Early dead."
5. TIME TO MARRY.--Parents who have the real interest and happiness
of their daughters at heart, ought, in consonance with the laws of
physiology, to discountenance marriage before twenty; and the nearer
the girls arrive at the age of twenty-five before the consummation of
this important rite, the greater the probability that, physically and
morally, they will be protected against those risks which precocious
marriages bring in their train.
6. FEEBLE PARENTS.--Feeble parents have generally feeble children;
diseased parents, diseased children; nervous parents, nervous
children;--"like begets like." It is sad to reflect, that the innocent
have to suffer, not only for the guilty, but for the thoughtless
and inconsiderate. Disease and debility are thus propagated from
one generation to another and the American race becomes woefully
deteriorated.
7. TIME.--Menstruation in this country usually commences at the ages
of from thirteen to sixteen, sometimes earlier; occasionally as early
as eleven or twelve; at other times later, and not until a girl be
seventeen or eighteen years of age. Menstruation in large towns is
supposed to commence at an earlier period than in the country, and
earlier in luxurious than in simple life.
8. CHARACTER.--The menstrual fluid is not exactly blood, although,
both in appearance and properties, it much resembles it; yet it never
in the healthy state clots as blood does. It is a secretion of
the womb, and, when healthy, ought to be of a bright red color in
appearance very much like the blood from a recently cut finger. The
menstrual fluid ought not, as before observed, clot. If it does, a
lady, during "her periods," suffers intense pain; moreover, she seldom
conceives until the clotting has ceased.
9. MENSTRUATION DURING NURSING.--Some ladies, though comparatively
few, menstruate during nursing; when they do, it may be considered not
as the rule, but as the exception. It is said in such instances,
that they are more likely to conceive; and no doubt they are, as
menstruation is an indication of a proneness to conception. Many
persons have an idea that when a woman, during lactation, menstruates,
her milk is both sweeter and purer. Such is an error. Menstruation
during nursing is more likely to weaken the mother, and consequently
to deteriorate her milk, and thus make it less sweet and less pure.
10. VIOLENT EXERCISE.--During "the monthly periods" violent exercise
is injurious; iced drinks and acid beverages are improper; and bathing
in the sea, and bathing the feet in cold water, and cold baths are
dangerous; indeed, at such times as these, no risks should be run, and
no experiments should, for the moment, be permitted, otherwise serious
consequences will, in all probability, ensue.
11. THE PALE, COLORLESS-COMPLEXIONED.--The pale, colorless-complexioned,
helpless, listless, and almost lifeless young ladies who are so
constantly seen in society, usually owe their miserable state of
health to absent, to deficient, or to profuse menstruation. Their
breathing is short--they are soon "out of breath," if they attempt to
take exercise--to walk, for instance, either up stairs or up a hill,
or even for half a mile on level ground, their breath is nearly
exhausted--they pant as though they had been running quickly. They
are ready, after the slightest exertion or fatigue, and after the
least worry or excitement, to feel faint, and sometimes even to
actually swoon away. Now such cases may, if judiciously treated, be
generally soon cured. It therefore behooves mothers to seek medical
aid early for their girls, and that before irreparable mischief has
been done to the constitution.
12. POVERTY OF BLOOD.--In a pale, delicate girl or wife, who is
laboring under what is popularly called poverty of blood, the
menstrual fluid is sometimes very scant, at others very copious, but
is, in either case, usually very pale--almost as colorless as water,
the patient being very nervous and even hysterical. Now, these are
signs of great debility; but, fortunately for such an one, a medical
man is, in the majority of cases, in possession of remedies that will
soon make her all right again.
13. NO RIGHT TO MARRY.--A delicate girl has no right until she be made
strong, to marry. If she should marry, she will frequently, when in
labor, not have strength, unless she has help, to bring a child into
the world; which, provided she be healthy and well-formed, ought not
to be. How graphically the Bible tells of delicate women not having
strength to bring children into the world: "For the children are come
to the birth, and there is not strength to bring forth."--2 Kings XIX,
3.
14. TOO SPARING.--Menstruation at another time is too sparing; this is
a frequent cause of sterility. Medical aid, in the majority of cases,
will be able to remedy the defect, and, by doing so, will probably
be the means of bringing the womb into a healthy state, and thus
predispose to conception.
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
* * * * *
CELEBRATED PRESCRIPTIONS FOR ALL DISEASES AND HOW TO USE THEM.
VINEGAR FOR HIVES.
After trying many remedies in a severe case of hives, Mr. Swain found
vinegar lotion gave instant relief, and subsequent trials in other
cases have been equally successful. One part of water to two parts of
vinegar is the strength most suitable.
THROAT TROUBLE.
A teaspoonful of salt, in a cup of hot water makes a safe and
excellent gargle in most throat troubles.
FOR SWEATING FEET, WITH BAD ODOR.
Wash the feet in warm water with borax, and if this don't cure, use
a solution of permanganate to destroy the fetor; about five grains to
each ounce of water.
AMENORRHOEA.
The following is recommended as a reliable emmenagogue in many cases
of functional amenorrhoea:
Bichloride of mercury,
Arsenite of sodium, aa gr. iij.
Sulphate of strychnine, gr. iss.
Carbonate of potassium,
Sulphate of iron, aa gr. xlv.
Mix and divide into sixty pills. Sig. One pill after each meal.
SICK HEADACHE.
Take a spoonful of finely powdered charcoal in a small glass of warm
water to relieve a sick headache.
It absorbs the gasses produced by the fermentation of undigested food.
AN EXCELLENT EYE WASH.
Acetate of zinc, 20 grains.
Acetate of morphia, 5 grains.
Rose water, 4 ounces. Mix.
FOR FILMS AND CATARACTS OF THE EYES.
Blood Root Pulverized, 1 ounce.
Hog's lard, 3 ounces.
Mix, simmer for 20 minutes, then strain; when cold put a little in the
eyes twice or three times a day.
FOR BURNS AND SORES.
Pitch Burgundy, 2 pounds.
Bees' Wax, 1 pound.
Hog's lard, one pound.
Mix all together and simmer over a slow fire until the whole are well
mixed together; then stir it until cold. Apply on muslin to the parts
affected.
FOR CHAPPED HANDS.
Olive oil, 6 ounces.
Camphor beat fine, 1/2 ounce.
Mix, dissolve by gentle heat over slow fire and when cold apply to the
hand freely.
INTOXICATION.
A man who is helplessly intoxicated may almost immediately restore
the faculties and powers of locomotion by taking half a teaspoonful
of chloride of ammonium in a goblet of water. A wineglassful of strong
vinegar will have the same effect and is frequently resorted to by
drunken soldiers.
NERVOUS DISABILITY, HEADACHE, NEURALGIA, NERVOUSNESS.
Fluid extract of scullcap, 1 ounce.
Fluid extract American valerian, 1 ounce.
Fluid extract catnip, 1 ounce.
Mix all. Dose, from 15 to 30 drops every two hours, in water; most
valuable.
A valuable tonic in all conditions of debility and want of appetite.
Comp. tincture of cinchona in teaspoonful doses in a little water,
half hour before meals.
ANOTHER EXCELLENT TONIC
Tincture of gentian, 1 ounce.
Tincture of Columba, 1 ounce.
Tincture of Collinsonia, 1 ounce.
Mix all. Dose, one tablespoonful in one tablespoonful of water before
meals.
REMEDY FOR CHAPPED HANDS.
When doing housework, if your hands become chapped or red, mix corn
meal and vinegar into a stiff paste and apply to the hands two or
three times a day, after washing them in hot water, then let dry
without wiping, and rub with glycerine. At night use cold cream, and
wear gloves.
BLEEDING.
Very hot water is a prompt checker of bleeding, besides if it is
clean, as it should be, it aids in sterilizing our wound.
TREATMENT FOR CRAMP.
Wherever friction can be conveniently applied, heat will be generated
by it, and the muscle again reduced to a natural condition; but if the
pains proceed from the contraction of some muscle located internally,
burnt brandy is an excellent remedy.
A severe attack which will not yield to this simple treatment may be
conquered by administering a small dose of laudanum or ether, best
given under medical supervision.
TREATMENT FOR COLIC
Castor oil, given as soon as the symptoms of colic manifest
themselves, has frequently afforded relief. At any rate, the
irritating substances must be expelled from the alimentary canal
before the pains will subside. All local remedies will be ineffectual,
and consequently the purgative should be given in large doses until a
copious vacuation is produced.
[Illustration: THE DOCTOR'S VISIT.]
TREATMENT FOR HEARTBURN.
If soda, taken in small quantities after meals, does not relieve
the distress, one may rest assured that the fluid is an alkali and
requires an acid treatment. Proceed, after eating, to squeeze ten
drops of lemon-juice into a small quantity of water, and swallow
it. The habit of daily life should be made to conform to the laws of
health, or local treatment will prove futile.
BILIOUSNESS.
For biliousness, squeeze the juice of a lime or small lemon into half
a glass of cold water, then stir in a little baking soda and drink
while it foams. This receipt will also relieve sick headache if taken
at the beginning.
TURPENTINE APPLICATIONS.
Mix turpentine and lard in equal parts. Warmed and rubbed on the
chest, it is a safe, reliable and mild counter irritant and revulsent
in minor lung complications.
TREATMENT FOR MUMPS.
It is very important that the face and neck be kept warm. Avoid
catching cold, and regulate the stomach and bowels; because when
aggravated, this disease is communicated to other glands, and assumes
there a serious form. Rest and quiet, with a good condition of
the general health, will throw off this disease without further
inconvenience.
TREATMENT FOR FELON.
All medication, such as poulticing, anointing, and the applications of
lotions, is but useless waste of time. The surgeon's knife should be
used as early as possible, for it will be required sooner or later and
the more promptly it can be applied, the less danger is there from the
disease, and the more agony is spared to the unfortunate victim.
TREATMENT FOR STABS.
A wound made by thrusting a dagger or other oblong instrument into
the flesh, is best treated, if no artery has been severed, by applying
lint scraped from a linen cloth, which serves as an obstruction,
allowing and assisting coagulation. Meanwhile cold water should be
applied to the parts adjoining the wound.
TREATMENT FOR MASHED NAILS.
If the injured member be plunged into very hot water the nail will
become pliable and adapt itself to the new condition of things, thus
alleviating agony to some extent. A small hole may be bored on the
nail with a pointed instrument, so adroitly as not to cause pain, yet
so successfully as to relieve pressure on the sensitive tissues. Free
applications of arnica or iodine will have an excellent effect.
TREATMENT FOR FOREIGN BODY IN THE EYE.
When any foreign body enters the eye, close it instantly, and keep it
still until you have an opportunity to ask the assistance of some one;
then have the upper lid folded over a pencil and the exposed surfaces
closely searched; if the body be invisible, catch the everted lid by
the lashes, and drawing it down over the lower lid, suddenly release
it, and it will resume its natural position. Unsuccessful in this
attempt, you may be pretty well assured that the object has become
lodged in the tissues, and will require the assistance of a skilled
operator to remove it.
CUTS.
A drop or two of creosote on a cut will stop its bleeding.
TREATMENT FOR POISON OAK--POISON IVY--POISON SUMACH.--Mr. Charles
Morris, of Philadelphia, who has studied the subject closely, uses, as
a sovereign remedy, frequent bathing of the affected parts in water
as hot as can be borne. If used immediately after exposure, it may
prevent the eruption appearing. If later, it allays the itching, and
gradually dries up the swellings, though they are very stubborn after
they have once appeared. But an application every few hours keeps down
the intolerable itching, which is the most annoying feature of sumach
poisoning. In addition to this, the ordinary astringent ointments are
useful, as is also that sovereign lotion, "lead-water and laudanum."
Mr. Morris adds to these a preventive prescription of "wide-open
eyes."
BITES AND STINGS OF INSECTS.--Wash with a solution of ammonia water.
BITES OF MAD DOGS.--Apply caustic potash at once to the wound, and
give enough whiskey to cause sleep.
BURNS.--Make a paste of common baking soda and water, and apply it
promptly to the burn. It will quickly check the pain and inflammation.
COLD ON CHEST.--A flannel rag wrung out in boiling water and sprinkled
with turpentine, laid on the chest, gives the greatest relief.
COUGH.--Boil one ounce of flaxseed in a pint of water, strain, and
add a little honey, one ounce of rock candy, and the juice of three
lemons. Mix and boil well. Drink as hot as possible.
SPRAINED ANKLE OR WRIST.--Wash the ankle very frequently with cold
salt and water, which is far better than warm vinegar or decoction of
herbs. Keep the foot as cool as possible to prevent inflammation, and
sit with it elevated on a high cushion. Live on low diet, and take
every morning some cooling medicine, such as Epsom salts. It cures in
a few days.
CHILBLAINS, SPRAINS, ETC.--One raw egg well beaten, half a pint of
vinegar, one ounce spirits of turpentine, a quarter of an ounce of
spirits of wine, a quarter of an ounce of camphor. These ingredients
to be beaten together, then put in a bottle and shaken for ten
minutes, after which, to be corked down tightly to exclude the air. In
half an hour it is fit for use. To be well rubbed in, two, three, or
four times a day. For rheumatism in the head, to be rubbed at the back
of the neck and behind the ears. In chilblains this remedy is to be
used before they are broken.
HOW TO REMOVE SUPERFLUOUS HAIR.--Sulphuret of Arsenic, one ounce;
Quicklime, one ounce; Prepared Lard, one ounce; White Wax, one ounce.
Melt the Wax, add the Lard. When nearly cold, stir in the other
ingredients. Apply to the superfluous hair, allowing it to remain on
from five to ten minutes; use a table-knife to shave off the hair;
then wash with soap and warm water.
DYSPEPSIA CURE.--Powdered Rhubarb, two drachms: Bicarbonate of Sodium,
six drachms; Fluid Extract of Gentian, three drachms; Peppermint
Water, seven and a half ounces. Mix them. Dose, a teaspoonful half an
hour before meals.
FOR NEURALGIA.--Tincture of Belladonna, one ounce; Tincture of
Camphor, one ounce; Tincture of Arnica, one ounce; Tincture of Opium,
one ounce. Mix them. Apply over the seat of the pain, and give ten to
twenty drops in sweetened water every two hours.
FOR COUGHS, COLDS, ETC.--Syrup of Morphia, three ounces; Syrup of Tar,
three and a half ounces; Chloroform, one troy ounce; Glycerine, one
troy ounce. Mix them. Dose, a teaspoonful three or four times a day.
TO CURE HIVES.--Compound syrup of Squill, U.S., three ounces; Syrup of
Ipecac, U.S., one ounce. Mix them. Dose, a teaspoonful.
TO CURE SICK HEADACHE.--Gather sumach leaves in the summer, and spread
them in the sun a few days to dry. Then powder them fine, and smoke,
morning and evening for two weeks, also whenever there are symptoms
of approaching headache. Use a new clay pipe. If these directions are
adhered to, this medicine will surely effect a permanent cure.
WHOOPING COUGH.--Dissolve a scruple of salt of tartar in a gill of
water; add to it ten grains of cochineal; sweeten it with sugar. Give
to an infant a quarter teaspoonful four times a day; two years old,
one-half teaspoonful; from four years, a tablespoonful. Great care is
required in the administration of medicines to infants. We can assure
paternal inquirers that the foregoing may be depended upon.
CUT OR BRUISE.--Apply the moist surface of the inside coating or skin
of the shell of a raw egg. It will adhere of itself, leave no scar,
and heal without pain.
DISINFECTANT.--Chloride of lime should be scattered at least once a
week under sinks and wherever sewer gas is likely to penetrate.
[Illustration: THE YOUNG DOCTOR.]
COSTIVENESS.--Common charcoal is highly recommended for costiveness.
It may be taken in tea- or tablespoonful, or even larger doses,
according to the exigencies of the case, mixed with molasses,
repeating it as often as necessary. Bathe the bowels with pepper and
vinegar. Or take two ounces of rhubarb, add one ounce of rust of iron,
infuse in one quart of wine. Half a wineglassful every morning.
Or take pulverized blood root, one drachm, pulverized rhubarb, one
drachm, castile soap, two scruples. Mix and roll into thirty-two
pills. Take one, morning and night. By following these directions it
may perhaps save you from a severe attack of the piles, or some other
kindred disease.
TO CURE DEAFNESS.--Obtain pure pickerel oil, and apply four drops
morning and evening to the ear. Great care should be taken to obtain
oil that is perfectly pure.
DEAFNESS.--Take three drops of sheep's gall, warm and drop it into the
ear on going to bed. The ear must be syringed with warm soap and water
in the morning. The gall must be applied for three successive nights.
It is only efficacious when the deafness is produced by cold. The most
convenient way of warming the gall is by holding it in a silver spoon
over the flame of a light. The above remedy has been frequently tried
with perfect success.
GOUT.--This is Col. Birch's recipe for rheumatic gout or acute
rheumatism, commonly called in England the "Chelsea Pensioner." Half
an ounce of nitre (saltpetre), half an ounce of sulphur, half an ounce
of flour of mustard, half an ounce of Turkey rhubarb, quarter of an
ounce of powdered guaicum. Mix, and take a teaspoonful every other
night for three nights, and omit three nights, in a wineglassful of
cold water which has been previously well boiled.
RINGWORM.--The head is to be washed twice a day with soft soap and
warm soft water; when dried the places to be rubbed with a piece of
linen rag dipped in ammonia from gas tar; the patient should take a
little sulphur and molasses, or some other genuine aperient, every
morning; brushes and combs should be washed every day, and the ammonia
kept tightly corked.
PILES.--Hamamelis, both internally or as an injection in rectum. Bathe
the parts with cold water or with astringent lotions, as alum water,
especially in bleeding piles. Ointment of gallic acid and calomel is
of repute. The best treatment of all is, suppositories of iodoform,
ergotine, of tannic acid, which can be made at any drug store.
CHICKEN POX.--No medicine is usually needed, except a tea made
from pleurisy root, to make the child sweat. Milk diet is the best;
avoidance of animal food; careful attention to the bowels; keep cool
and avoid exposure to cold.
SCARLET FEVER.--Cold water compress on the throat. Fats and oils
rubbed on hands and feet. The temperature of the room should be
about 68 degrees Fahr., and all draughts avoided. Mustard baths for
retrocession of the rash and to bring it out. Diet: ripe fruit,
toast, gruel, beef, tea and milk. Stimulants are useful to counteract
depression of the vital forces.
FALSE MEASLES OR ROSE RASH.--It requires no treatment except hygienic.
Keep the bowels open. Nourishing diet, and if there is itching,
moisten the skin with five per cent. solution of aconite or solution
of starch and water.
BILIOUS ATTACKS.--Drop doses of muriatic acid in a wine glass of water
every four hours, or the following prescription: Bicarbonate of soda,
one drachm; Aromatic spirits of ammonia, two drachms; Peppermint
water, four ounces. Dose: Take a teaspoonful every four hours.
DIARRHOEA.--The following prescription is generally all that will be
necessary: acetate of lead, eight grains; gum arabic, two drachms;
acetate of morphia, one grain; and cinnamon water, eight ounces. Take
a teaspoonful every three hours.
Be careful not to eat too much food. Some consider, the best treatment
is to fast, and it is a good suggestion. Patients should keep quiet
and have the room of a warm and even temperature.
VOMITING.--Ice dissolved in the mouth, often cures vomiting when all
remedies fail. Much depends on the diet of persons liable to such
attacts; this should be easily digestible food, taken often and in
small quantities. Vomiting can often be arrested by applying a mustard
paste over the region of the stomach. It is not necessary to allow it
to remain until the parts are blistered, but it may be removed when
the part becomes thoroughly red, and reapplied if required after the
redness has disappeared. One of the secrets to relieve vomiting is to
give the stomach perfect rest, not allowing the patient even a glass
of water, as long as the tendency remains to throw it up again.
NERVOUS HEADACHE.--Extract hyoscymus five grains, pulverized camphor
five grains. Mix. Make four pills, one to be taken when the pain is
most severe in nervous headache. Or three drops tincture nux vomica in
a spoonful of water, two or three times a day.
BLEEDING FROM THE NOSE.--from whatever cause--may generally be stopped
by putting a plug of lint into the nostril; if this does not do, apply
a cold lotion to the forehead; raise the head and place both arms
over the head, so that it will rest on both hands; dip the lint plug,
slightly moistened, in some powdered gum arabic, and plug the nostrils
again; or dip the plug into equal parts of gum arabic and alum. An
easier and simpler method is to place a piece of writing paper on the
gums of the upper jaw, under the upper lip, and let it remain there
for a few minutes.
BOILS.--These should be brought to a head by warm poultices of
camomile flowers, or boiled white lily root, or onion root, by
fermentation with hot water, or by stimulating plasters. When ripe
they should be destroyed by a needle or lancet. But this should not be
attempted until they are thoroughly proved.
BUNIONS may be checked in their early development by binding the joint
with adhesive plaster, and keeping it on as long as any uneasiness is
felt. The bandaging should be perfect, and it might be well to extend
it round the foot An inflamed bunion should be poulticed, and larger
shoes be worn. Iodine 12 grains, lard or spermaceti ointment half an
ounce, makes a capital ointment for bunions. It should be rubbed on
gently twice or three times a day.
FELONS.--One table-spoonful of red lead, and one tablespoonful of
castile soap, and mix them with as much weak lye as will make it soft
enough to spread like a salve, and apply it on the first appearance of
the felon, and it will cure in ten or twelve days.
CARE FOR WARTS.--The easiest way to get rid of warts, is to pare off
the thickened skin which covers the prominent wart; cut it off by
successive layers and shave it until you come to the surface of the
skin, and till you draw blood in two or three places. Then rub the
part thoroughly over with lunar caustic, and one effective operation
of this kind will generally destroy the wart; if not, you cut off
the black spot which has been occasioned by the caustic, and apply it
again; or you may apply acetic acid, and thus you will get rid of it.
Care must be taken in applying these acids, not to rub them on the
skin around the wart.
WENS.--Take the yoke of some eggs, beat up, and add as much fine salt
as will dissolve, and apply a plaster to the wen every ten hours. It
cures without pain or any other inconvenience.
* * * * *
HOW TO CURE APOPLEXY, BAD BREATH AND QUINSY.
1. APOPLEXY.--Apoplexy occurs only in the corpulent or obese, and
those of gross or high living.
_Treatment_--Raise the head to a nearly upright position; loosen all
tight clothes, strings, etc., and apply cold water to the head and
warm water and warm cloths to the feet. Have the apartment cool and
well ventilated. Give nothing by the mouth until the breathing is
relieved, and then only draughts of cold water.
2. BAD BREATH.--Bad or foul breath will be removed by taking a
teaspoonful of the following mixture after each meal: One ounce
chloride of soda, one ounce liquor of potassa, one and one-half ounces
phosphate of soda, and three ounces of water.
3. QUINSY.--This is an inflammation of the tonsils, or common
inflammatory sore throat; commences with a slight feverish attack,
with considerable pain and swelling of the tonsils, causing some
difficulty in swallowing; as the attack advances, these symptoms
become more intense, there is headache, thirst, a painful sense of
tension, and acute darting pains in the ears. The attack is generally
brought on by exposure to cold, and lasts from five to seven days,
when it subsides naturally, or an abscess may form in tonsils and
burst, or the tonsils may remain enlarged, the inflammation subsiding.
_Home Treatment._--The patient should remain in a warm room, the diet
chiefly milk and good broths, some cooling laxative and diaphoretic
medicine may be given; but the greatest relief will be found in the
frequent inhalation of the steam of hot water through an inhaler, or
in the old-fashioned way through the spout of a teapot.
* * * * *
SENSIBLE RULES FOR THE NURSE.
"Remember to be extremely neat in dress; a few drops of hartshorn in
the water used for _daily_ bathing will remove the disagreeable odors
of warmth and perspiration.
"Never speak of the symptoms of your patient in his presence,
unless questioned by the doctor, whose orders you are always to obey
_implicitly_.
"Remember never to be a gossip or tattler, and always to hold sacred
the knowledge which, to a certain extent, you must obtain of the
private affairs of your patient and the household in which you nurse.
"Never contradict your patient, nor argue with him, nor let him see
that you are annoyed about anything.
"Never _whisper_ in the sick room. If your patient be well enough, and
wishes you to talk to him, speak in a low, distinct voice, on cheerful
subjects. Don't relate painful hospital experiences, nor give details
of the maladies of former patients, and remember never to startle him
with accounts of dreadful crimes or accidents that you have read in
the newspapers.
"_Write_ down the orders that the physician gives you as to time for
giving the medicines, food, etc.
"Keep the room bright (unless the doctor orders it darkened).
"Let the air of the room be as pure as possible, and keep everything
in order, but without being fussy and bustling.
"The only way to remove dust in a sick room is to wipe everything with
a damp cloth.
"Remember to carry out all vessels covered. Empty and wash them
immediately, and keep some disinfectant in them.
"Remember that to leave the patient's untasted food by his side, from
meal to meal, in hopes that he will eat it in the interval, is simply
to prevent him from taking any food at all.
"Medicines, beef tea or stimulants, should never be kept where the
patient can see them or smell them.
"Light-colored clothing should be worn by those who have the care of
the sick, in preference to dark-colored apparel; particularly if the
disease is of a contagious nature. Experiments have shown that black
and other dark colors will absorb more readily the subtle effluvia
that emanates from sick persons than white or light colors."
* * * * *
LONGEVITY.
The following table exhibits very recent mortality statistics, showing
the average duration of life among persons of various classes:
Employment. Years.
Judges 65
Farmers 64
Bank Officers 64
Coopers 58
Public Officers 57
Clergymen 56
Shipwrights 55
Hatters 54
Lawyers 54
Rope Makers 54
Blacksmiths 51
Merchants 51
Calico Printers 51
Physicians 51
Butchers 50
Carpenters 49
Masons 48
Traders 46
Tailors 44
Jewelers 44
Manufacturers 43
Bakers 43
Painters 43
Shoemakers 43
Mechanics 43
Editors 40
Musicians 39
Printers 38
Machinists 36
Teachers 34
Clerks 34
Operatives 32
"It will be easily seen, by these figures, how a quiet or tranquil
life affects longevity. The phlegmatic man will live longer, all other
things being equal, than the sanguine, nervous individual. Marriage
is favorable to longevity, and it has also been ascertained that women
live longer than men."
[Illustration: HOT WATER THROAT BAG.]
[Illustration: HOT WATER BAG.]
* * * * *
HOW TO APPLY AND USE HOT WATER IN ALL DISEASES.
1. THE HOT WATER THROAT BAG. The hot water throat bag is made
from fine white rubber fastened to the head by a rubber band (see
illustration), and is an unfailing remedy for catarrh, hay fever,
cold, toothache, headache, earache, neuralgia, etc.
2. THE HOT WATER BOTTLE. No well regulated house should be without a
hot water bottle. It is excellent in the application of hot water for
inflammations, colic, headache, congestion, cold feet, rheumatism,
sprains, etc., etc. It is an excellent warming pan and an excellent
feet and hand warmer when riding. These hot water bags in any variety
can be purchased at any drug store.
3. Boiling water may be used in the bags and the heat will be retained
many hours. They are soft and pliable and pleasant to the touch, and
can be adjusted to any part of the body.
4. Hot water is good for constipation, torpid liver and relieves colic
and flatulence, and is of special value.
5. _Caution._ When hot water bags or any hot fomentation is removed,
replace dry flannel and bathe parts in tepid water and rub till dry.
6. By inflammations it is best to use hot water and then cold water.
It seems to give more immediate relief. Hot water is a much better
remedy than drugs, paragoric, Dover's powder or morphine. Always avoid
the use of strong poisonous drugs when possible.
7. Those who suffer from cold feet there is no better remedy than
to bathe the feet in cold water before retiring and then place a hot
water bottle in the bed at the feet. A few weeks of such treatment
results in relief if not cure of the most obstinate case.
HOW TO USE COLD WATER.
Use a compress of cold water for acute or chronic inflammation, such
as sore throat, bronchitis, croup, inflammation of the lungs, etc. If
there is a hot and aching pain in the back apply a compress of cold
water on the same, or it may simply be placed across the back or
around the body. The most depends upon the condition of the patient.
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
* * * * *
PRACTICAL RULES FOR BATHING.
1. Bathe at least once a week all over, thoroughly. No one can
preserve his health by neglecting personal cleanliness. Remember,
"Cleanliness is akin to Godliness."
2. Only mild soap should be used in bathing the body.
3. Wipe quickly and dry the body thoroughly with a moderately coarse
towel. Rub the skin vigorously.
4. Many people have contracted severe and fatal diseases by neglecting
to take proper care of the body after bathing.
5. If you get up a good reaction by thorough rubbing in a mild
temperature, the effect is always good.
6. Never go into a cold room, or allow cold air to enter the room
until you are dressed.
7. Bathing in cold rooms and in cold water is positively injurious,
unless the person possesses a very strong and vigorous constitution,
and then there is great danger of laying the foundation of some
serious disease.
8. Never bathe within two hours after eating. It injures digestion.
9. Never bathe when the body or mind is much exhausted. It is liable
to check the healthful circulation.
10. A good time for bathing is just before retiring. The morning hour
is a good time also, if a warm room and warm water can be secured.
11. Never bathe a fresh wound or broken skin with cold water; the
wound absorbs water, and causes swelling and irritation.
12. A person not robust should be very careful in bathing; great care
should be exercised to avoid any chilling effects.
* * * * *
ALL THE DIFFERENT KINDS OF BATHS, AND HOW TO PREPARE THEM.
THE SULPHUR BATH.
For the itch, ringworm, itching, and for other slight irritations,
bathe in water containing a little sulphur.
THE SALT BATH.
To open the pores of the skin, put a little common salt into the
water. Borax, baking soda or lime used in the same way are excellent
for cooling and cleansing the skin. A very small quantity in a bowl of
water is sufficient.
THE VAPOR BATH.
1. For catarrh, bronchitis, pleurisy, inflammation of the lungs,
rheumatism, fever, affections of the bowels and kidneys, and skin
diseases, the vapor-bath is an excellent remedy.
2. APPARATUS.--Use a small alcohol lamp, and place over it a small
dish containing water. Light the lamp and allow the water to boil.
Place a cane bottom chair over the lamp, and seat the patient on
it. Wrap blankets or quilts around the chair and around the patient,
closing it tightly about the neck. After free perspiration is produced
the patient should be wrapped in warm blankets, and placed in bed, so
as to continue the perspiration for some time.
3. A convenient alcohol lamp may be made by taking a tin box, placing
a tube in it, and putting in a common lamp wick. Any tinner can make
one in a few minutes, at a trifling cost.
THE HOT-AIR BATH.
1. Place the alcohol lamp under the chair, without the dish of water.
Then place the patient on the chair, as in the vapor bath, and let him
remain until a gentle and free perspiration is produced. This bath may
be taken from time to time, as may be deemed necessary.
2. While remaining in the hot-air bath the patient may drink freely of
cold or tepid water.
3. As soon as the bath is over the patient should be washed with hot
water and soap.
4. The hot-air bath is excellent for colds, skin diseases, and the
gout.
THE SPONGE BATH.
1. Have a large basin of water of the temperature of 85 or 95 degrees.
As soon as the patient rises rub the body over with a soft, dry towel
until it becomes warm.
2. Now sponge the body with water and a little soap, at the same time
keeping the body well covered, except such portions as are necessarily
exposed. Then dry the skin carefully with a soft, warm towel. Rub the
skin well for two or three minutes, until every part becomes red and
perfectly dry.
3. Sulphur, lime or salt, and sometimes mustard, may be used in any of
the sponge baths, according to the disease.
THE FOOT BATH.
1. The foot bath, in coughs, colds, asthma, headaches and fevers,
is excellent. One or two tablespoonfuls of ground mustard added to a
gallon of hot water, is very beneficial.
2. Heat the water as hot as the patient can endure it, and gradually
increase the temperature by pouring in additional quantities of hot
water during the bath.
THE SITZ BATH.
A tub is arranged so that the patient can sit down in it while
bathing. Fill the tub about one-half full of water. This is an
excellent remedy for piles, constipation, headache, gravel, and for
acute and inflammatory affections generally.
THE ACID BATH.
Place a little vinegar in water, and heat to the usual temperature.
This is an excellent remedy for the disorders of the liver.
A SURE CURE FOR PRICKLY HEAT.
1. Prickly heat is caused by hot weather, by excess of flesh, by rough
flannels, by sudden changes of temperature, or by over-fatigue.
2. TREATMENT--Bathe two or three times a day with warm water, in which
a moderate quantity of bran and common soda has been stirred. After
wiping the skin dry, dust the affected parts with common cornstarch.
* * * * *
DIGESTIBILITY OF FOOD.
ARTICLE OF FOOD; CONDITION; HOURS REQUIRED
Rice; Boiled; 1.00
Eggs, whipped; Raw; 1.30
Trout, salmon, fresh; Boiled; 1.30
Apples, sweet and mellow; Raw; 1.30
Venison steak; Broiled; 1.35
Tapioca; Boiled; 2.00
Barley; Boiled; 2.00
Milk; Boiled; 2.00
Bullock's liver, fresh; Broiled; 2.00
Fresh eggs; Raw; 2.00
Codfish, cured and dry; Boiled; 2.00
Milk; Raw; 2.15
Wild turkey; Roasted; 2.15
Domestic turkey; Roasted; 2.30;
Goose; Roasted; 2.30
Suckling pig; Roasted; 2.30
Fresh Lamb; Broiled; 2.30
Hash, meat and vegetables; Warmed; 2.30
Beans and pod; Boiled; 2.30
Parsnips; Boiled; 2.30
Irish potatoes; Roasted; 2.30
Chicken; Fricassee; 2.45
Custard; Baked; 2.45
Salt beef; Boiled; 2.45
Sour and hard apples; Raw; 2.50
Fresh oysters; Raw; 2.55
Fresh eggs; Soft Boiled; 3.00
Beef, fresh, lean and rare; Roasted; 3.00
Beef steak; Broiled; 3.00
Pork, recently salted; Stewed; 3.00
Fresh mutton; Boiled; 3.00
Soup, beans; Boiled; 3.00
Soup, chicken; Boiled; 3.00
Apple dumpling; Boiled; 3.00
Fresh oysters; Roasted; 3.15
Pork steak; Broiled; 3.15
Fresh mutton; Roasted; 3.15
Corn bread; Baked; 3.15
Carrots; Boiled; 3.15
Fresh sausage; Broiled; 3.20
Fresh flounder; Fried; 3.30
Fresh catfish; Fried; 3.30
Fresh oysters; Stewed; 3.30
Butter; Melted; 3.30
Old, strong cheese; Raw; 3.30
Mutton soup; Boiled; 3.30
Oyster soup; Boiled; 3.30
Fresh wheat bread; Baked; 3.30
Flat turnips; Boiled; 3.30
Irish potatoes; Boiled; 3.30
Fresh eggs; Hard boiled; 3.30
Fresh eggs; Fried; 3.30
Green corn and beans; Boiled; 3.45
Beets, Boiled; 3.45
Fresh, lean beef; Fried; 4.00
Fresh veal; Broiled; 4.00
Domestic fowls; Roasted; 4.00
Ducks, Roasted; 4.00
Beef soup, vegetables and bread Boiled; 4.00
Pork, recently salted; Boiled; 4.30
Fresh veal; Fried; 4.30
Cabbage, with vinegar; Boiled; 4.30
Pork, fat and lean; Roasted; 5.30
* * * * *
HOW TO COOK FOR THE SICK.
Useful Dietetic Recipes.
GRUELS.
1. OATMEAL GRUEL.--Stir two tablespoonfuls of coarse oatmeal into
a quart of boiling water, and let it simmer two hours. Strain, if
preferred.
2. BEEF TEA AND OATMEAL.--Beat two tablespoonfuls of fine oatmeal,
with two tablespoonfuls of cold water until very smooth, then add a
pint of hot beef tea. Boil together six or eight minutes, stirring
constantly. Strain through a fine sieve.
3. MILK GRUEL.--Into a pint of scalding milk stir two tablespoonfuls
of fine oatmeal. Add a pint of boiling water, and boil until the meal
is thoroughly cooked.
4. MILK PORRIDGE.--Place over the fire equal parts of milk and water.
Just before it boils, add a small quantity (a tablespoonful to a pint
of water) of graham flour or cornmeal, previously mixed with water,
and boil three minutes.
5. SAGO GRUEL.--Take two tablespoonfuls of sago and place them in a
small saucepan, moisten gradually with a little cold water. Set the
preparation on a slow fire, and keep stirring till it becomes rather
stiff and clear. Add a little grated nutmeg and sugar to taste; if
preferred, half a pat of butter may also be added with the sugar.
6. CREAM GRUEL.--Put a pint and a half of water on the stove in a
saucepan. Take one tablespoon of flour and the same of cornmeal, mix
this with cold water, and as soon as the water in the saucepan boils,
stir it in slowly. Let it boil slowly about twenty minutes, stirring
constantly then add a little salt and a gill of sweet cream. Do not
let it boil after putting in the cream, but turn into a bowl and cover
tightly. Serve in a pretty cup and saucer.
DRINKS.
1. APPLE WATER.--Cut two large apples into slices and pour a quart of
boiling water on them, or on roasted apples; strain in two or three
hours and sweeten slightly.
2. ORANGEADE.--Take the thin peel of two oranges and of one lemon; add
water and sugar the same as for hot lemonade. When cold add the juice
of four or five oranges and one lemon and strain off.
3. HOT LEMONADE.--Take two thin slices and the juice of one lemon; mix
with two tablespoonfuls of granulated sugar, and add one-half pint of
boiling water.
4. FLAXSEED LEMONADE.--Two tablespoonfuls of whole flaxseed to a pint
of boiling water, let it steep three hours, strain when cool and add
the juice of two lemons and two tablespoonfuls of honey. If too thick,
put in cold water. Splendid for colds and suppression of urine.
5. JELLY WATER.--Sour jellies dissolved in water make a pleasant drink
for fever patients.
6. TOAST WATER.--Toast several thin pieces of bread a slice deep
brown, but do not blacken or burn. Break into small pieces and put
into a jar. Pour over the pieces a quart of boiling water; cover the
jar and let it stand an hour before using. Strain if desired.
7. WHITE OF EGG AND MILK.--The white of an egg beaten to a stiff
froth, and stirred very quickly into a glass of milk, is a very
nourishing food for persons whose digestion is weak, also for children
who cannot digest milk alone.
8. EGG COCOA.--One-half teaspoon cocoa with enough hot water to make
a paste. Take one egg, beat white and yolk separately. Stir into a cup
of milk heated to nearly boiling. Sweeten if desired. Very nourishing.
9. EGG LEMONADE.--White of one egg, one tablespoonful pulverized
sugar, juice of one lemon and one goblet of water. Beat together. Very
grateful in inflammation of of lungs, stomach or bowels.
10. BEEF TEA.--For every quart of tea desired use one pound of
fresh beef, from which all fat, bones and sinews have been carefully
removed; cut the beef into pieces a quarter of an inch thick and mix
with a pint of cold water. Let it stand an hour, then pour into a
glass fruit can and place in a vessel of water; let it heat on the
stove another hour, but do not let it boil. Strain before using.
JELLIES.
1. SAGO JELLY.--Simmer gently in a pint of water two tablespoonfuls
of sago until it thickens, frequently stirring. A little sugar may be
added if desired.
2. CHICKEN JELLY.--Take half a raw chicken, tie in a coarse cloth and
pound, till well mashed, bones and meat together. Place the mass in
a covered dish with water sufficient to cover it well. Allow it to
simmer slowly till the liquor is reduced about one-half and the meat
is thoroughly cooked. Press through a fine sieve or cloth, and salt
to taste. Place on the stove to simmer about five minutes When cold
remove all particles of grease.
3. MULLED JELLY.--Take one tablespoonful of currant or grape jelly;
beat it with the white of one egg and a little loaf sugar; pour on it
one-half pint of boiling water and break in a slice of dry toast or
two crackers.
4. BREAD JELLY.--Pour boiling water over bread crumbs place the mixture
on the fire and let it boil until it is perfectly smooth. Take it off,
and after pouring off the water, flavor with something agreeable, as
a little raspberry or currant jelly water. Pour into a mold until
required for use.
5. LEMON JELLY.--Moisten two tablespoonfuls of cornstarch, stir into
one pint boiling water; add the juice of two lemons and one-half cup
of sugar. Grate in a little of the rind. Put in molds to cool.
MISCELLANEOUS.
1. TO COOK RICE.--Take two cups of rice and one and one-half pints of
milk. Place in a covered dish and steam in a kettle of boiling water
until it is cooked through, pour into cups and let it stand until
cold. Serve with cream.
2. RICE OMELET.--Two cups boiled rice, one cup sweet milk, two eggs.
Stir together with egg beater, and put into a hot buttered skillet.
Cook slowly ten minutes, stirring frequently.
3. BROWNED RICE.--Parch or brown rice slowly. Steep in milk for two
hours. The rice or the milk only is excellent in summer complaint.
4. STEWED OYSTERS.--Take one pint of milk, one cup of water, a
teaspoon of salt; when boiling put in one pint of bulk oysters. Stir
occasionally and remove from the stove before it boils. An oyster
should not be shriveled in cooking.
5. BROILED OYSTERS.--Put large oysters on a wire toaster Hold over hot
coals until heated through. Serve on toast moistened with cream. Very
grateful in convalescence.
6. OYSTER TOAST.--Pour stewed oysters over graham or bread toasted.
Excellent for breakfast.
7. GRAHAM CRISPS.--Mix graham flour and cold water into a very
stiff dough. Knead, roll very thin, and bake quickly in a hot oven.
Excellent food for dyspeptics.
8. APPLE SNOW.--Take seven apples, not very sweet ones, and bake till
soft and brown. Then remove the skins and cores; when cool, beat them
smooth and fine; add one-half cup of granulated sugar and the white
of one egg. Beat till the mixture will hold on your spoon. Serve with
soft custard.
9. EGGS ON TOAST.--Soften brown bread toast with hot water, put on a
platter and cover with poached or scrambled eggs.
10. BOILED EGGS.--An egg should never be boiled. Place in boiling
water and set back on the stove for from seven to ten minutes. A
little experience will enable anyone to do it successfully.
11. CRACKED WHEAT PUDDING.--In a deep two-quart pudding dish put
layers of cold, cooked, cracked wheat, and tart apples sliced thin,
with four tablespoonfuls of sugar. Raisins can be added if preferred.
Fill the dish, having the wheat last, add a cup of cold water. Bake
two hours.
12. PIE FOR DYSPEPTICS.--Four tablespoonfuls of oatmeal, one pint of
water; let stand for a few hours, or until the meal is swelled. Then
add two large apples, pared and sliced, a little salt, one cup of
sugar, one tablespoonful of flour. Mix all well together and bake in
a buttered dish; makes a most delicious pie, which can be eaten with
safety by the sick or well.
13. APPLE TAPIOCA PUDDING.--Soak a teacup of tapioca in a quart of
warm water three hours. Cut in thin slices six tart apples, stir them
lightly with the tapioca, add half cup sugar. Bake three hours. To be
eaten with whipped cream. Good either warm or cold.
14. GRAHAM MUFFINS.--Take one pint of new milk, one pint graham or
entire wheat flour; stir together and add one beaten egg. Can be baked
in any kind of gem pans or muffin rings. Salt must not be used with
any bread that is made light with egg.
15. STRAWBERRY DESSERT.--Place alternate layers of hot cooked cracked
wheat and strawberries in a deep dish; when cold, turn out on platter;
cut in slices and serve with cream and sugar, or strawberry juice. Wet
the molds with cold water before using. This, molded in small cups,
makes a dainty dish for the sick. Wheatlet can be used in the same
way.
16. FRUIT BLANC MANGE.--One quart of juice of strawberries, cherries,
grapes or other juicy fruit; one cup water. When boiling, add two
tablespoonfuls sugar and four tablespoonfuls cornstarch wet in cold
water; let boil five or six minutes, then mold in small cups. Serve
without sauce, or with cream or boiled custard. Lemon juice can be
used the same, only requiring more water. This is a very valuable dish
for convalescents and pregnant women, when the stomach rejects solid
food.
[Illustration]
* * * * *
SAVE THE GIRLS.
1. PUBLIC BALLS.--The church should turn its face like flint against
the public ball. Its influence is evil, and nothing but evil. It is
a well known fact that in all cities and large towns the ball room is
the recruiting office for prostitution.
2. THOUGHTLESS YOUNG WOMEN.--In cities public balls are given every
night, and many thoughtless young women, mostly the daughters of small
tradesmen and mechanics, or clerks or laborers, are induced to attend
"just for fun." Scarcely one in a hundred of the girls attending these
balls preserve their purity. They meet the most desperate characters,
professional gamblers, criminals and the lowest debauchees. Such
an assembly and such influence cannot mean anything but ruin for an
innocent girl.
3. VILE WOMEN.--The public ball is always a resort of vile women who
picture to innocent girls the ease and luxury of a harlot's life, and
offer them all manner of temptations to abandon the paths of virtue.
The public ball is the resort of the libertine and the adulterer, and
whose object is to work the ruin of every innocent girl that may fall
into their clutches.
4. THE QUESTION.--Why does society wonder at the increase of
prostitution, when the public balls and promiscuous dancing is so
largely endorsed and encouraged?
5. WORKING GIRLS.--Thousands of innocent working girls enter
innocently and unsuspectingly into the paths which lead them to the
house of evil, or who wander the streets as miserable outcasts all
through the influence of the dance. The low theatre and dance halls
and other places of unselected gatherings are the milestones which
mark the working girl's downward path from virtue to vice, from
modesty to shame.
6. THE SALESWOMAN, the seamstress, the factory girl or any other
virtuous girl had better, far better, die than take the first step in
the path of impropriety and danger. Better, a thousand times better,
better for this life, better for the life to come, an existence of
humble, virtuous industry than a single departure from virtue, even
though it were paid with a fortune.
7. TEMPTATIONS.--There is not a young girl but what is more or less
tempted by some unprincipled wretch who may have the reputation of a
genteel society man. It behooves parents to guard carefully the morals
of their daughters, and be vigilant and cautious in permitting them
to accept the society of young men. Parents who desire to save their
daughters from a fate which is worse than death, should endeavor
by every means in their power to keep them from falling into traps
cunningly devised by some cunning lover. There are many good young
men, but not all are safe friends to an innocent, confiding young
girl.
8. PROSTITUTION.--Some girls inherit their vicious tendency; others
fall because of misplaced affections; many sin through a love of
dress, which is fostered by society and by the surroundings amidst
which they may be placed; many, very many, embrace a life of shame to
escape poverty While each of these different phases of prostitution
require a different remedy, we need better men, better women, better
laws and better protection for the young girls.
[Illustration: A RUSSIAN SPINNING GIRL.]
9. A STARTLING FACT.--Startling as it may seem to some, it is a fact
in our large cities that there are many girls raised by parents with
no other aim than to make them harlots. At a tender age they are sold
by fathers and mothers into an existence which is worse than slavery
itself. It is not uncommon to see girls at the tender age of thirteen
or fourteen--mere children--hardened courtesans, lost to all sense
of shame and decency. They are reared in ignorance, surrounded by
demoralizing influences, cut off from the blessings of church and
Sabbath school, see nothing but licentiousness, intemperance and
crime. These young girls are lost forever. They are beyond the reach
of the moralist or preacher and have no comprehension of modesty and
purity. Virtue to them is a stranger, and has been from the cradle.
10. A GREAT WRONG.--Parents too poor to clothe themselves bring
children into the world, children for whom they have no bread,
consequently the girl easily falls a victim in early womanhood to the
heartless libertine. The boy with no other schooling but that of
the streets soon masters all the qualifications for a professional
criminal. If there could be a law forbidding people to marry who have
no visible means of supporting a family, or if they should marry, if
their children could be taken from them and properly educated by the
State, it would cost the country less and be a great step in advancing
our civilization.
11. THE FIRST STEP.--Thousands of fallen women could have been saved
from lives of degradation and deaths of shame had they received more
toleration and loving forgiveness in their first steps of error. Many
women naturally pure and virtuous have fallen to the lowest depths
because discarded by friends, frowned upon by society, and sneered at
by the world, after they had taken a single mis-step. Society forgives
man, but woman never.
12. IN THE BEGINNING of every girl's downward career there is
necessarily a hesitation. She naturally ponders over what course
to take, dreading to meet friends and looking into the future with
horror. That moment is the vital turning point in her career; a kind
word of forgiveness, a mother's embrace a father's welcome may
save her. The bloodhounds, known as the seducer, the libertine, the
procurer, are upon her track; she is trembling on the frightful brink
of the abyss. Extend a helping hand and save her!
13. FATHER, if your daughter goes astray, do not drive her from your
home. Mother, if your child errs, do not close your heart against her.
Sisters and brothers and friends, do not force her into the pathway of
shame, but rather strive to win her back into the Eden of virtue, an
in nine cases out of ten you will succeed.
14. SOCIETY EVILS.--The dance, the theater, the wine-cup, the
race-course, the idle frivolity and luxury of summer watering places,
all have a tendency to demoralize the young.
15. BAD SOCIETY.--Much of our modern society admits libertines and
seducers to the drawing-room, while it excludes their helpless and
degraded victims, consequently it is not strange that there are
skeletons in many closets, matrimonial infelicity and wayward girls.
16. "'KNOW THYSELF,'" says Dr. Saur, "is an important maxim for us
all, and especially is it true for girls.
"All are born with the desire to become attractive girls especially
want to grow up, not only attractive, but beautiful. Some girls
think that bright eyes, pretty hair and fine clothes alone make them
beautiful. This is not so. Real beauty depends upon good health, good
manners and a pure mind.
"As the happiness of our girls depends upon their health, it behoves
us all to guide the girls in such a way as to bring forward the best
of results.
17. "THERE IS NO ONE who stands so near the girl as the mother. From
early childhood she occupies the first place in the little one's
confidence she laughs, plays, and corrects, when necessary, the faults
of her darling. She should be equally ready to guide in the important
laws of life and health upon which rest her future. Teach your
daughters that in all things the 'creative principle' has its source
in life itself. It originates from Divine life, and when they know
that it may be consecrated to wise and useful purposes, they are never
apt to grow up with base thoughts or form bad habits. Their lives
become a happiness to themselves and a blessing to humanity.
18. TEACH WISELY.--"Teach your daughters that _all life_ originates
from a seed a germ. Knowing this law, you need have no fears that base
or unworthy thoughts of the reproductive function can ever enter their
minds. The growth, development and ripening of human seed becomes a
beautiful and sacred mystery. The tree, the rose and all plant life
are equally as mysterious and beautiful in their reproductive life.
Does not this alone prove to us, conclusively, that there is a
Divinity in the background governing, controlling and influencing our
lives? Nature has no secrets, and why should we? None at all. The only
care we should experience is in teaching wisely.
"Yes lead them wisely teach them that the seed, the germ of a new
life, is maturing within them. Teach them that between the ages of
eleven and fourteen this maturing process has certain physical signs.
The breasts grow round and full, the whole body, even the voice,
undergoes a change. It is right that they should be taught the natural
law of life in reproduction and the physiological structure of their
being. Again we repeat that these lessons should be taught by the
mother, and in a tender, delicate and confidential way. Become, oh,
mother, your daughter's companion, and she will not go elsewhere for
this knowledge which must come to all in time, but possibly too late
and through sources that would prove more harm than good.
19. THE ORGANS OF CREATIVE LIFE in women are: Ovaries, Fallopian
tubes, uterus, vagina and mammary glands. The _ovaries_ and _Fallopian
tubes_ have already been described under "The Female Generative
Organs."
"The _uterus_ is a pear-shaped muscular organ, situated in the lower
portion of the pelvis, between the bladder and the rectum. It is
less than three inches in length and two inches in width and one in
thickness.
"The _vagina_ is a membranous canal which joins the internal outlet
with the womb, which projects slightly into it. The opening into the
vagina is nearly oval, and in those who have never indulged in sexual
intercourse or in handling the sexual organs is more or less closed
by a membrane termed the _hymen_. The presence of this membrane was
formerly considered as undoubted evidence of virginity; its absence, a
lack of chastity.
"The _mammary glands_ are accessory to the generative organs. They
secrete milk, which the All-wise Gatherer provided for the nourishment
of the child after birth.
20. "MENSTRUATION, which appears about the age of thirteen years,
is the flow from the uterus that occurs every month as the seed-germ
ripens in the ovaries. God made the sexual organs so that the race
should not die out. He gave them to us so that we may reproduce
life, and thus fill the highest position in the created universe. The
purpose for which they are made is high and holy and honorable, and if
they are used only for this purpose and they must not be used at
all until they are fully matured they will be a source of greatest
blessing to us all.
[Illustration: THE TWO PATHS--WHAT WILL THE GIRL BECOME?
AT 13: BAD LITERATURE
AT 20: FLIRTING & COQUETTERY
AT 26: FAST LIFE & DISSIPATION
AT 40: AN OUTCAST
AT 13: STUDY & OBEDIENCE
AT 20: VIRTUE & DEVOTION
AT 26: A LOVING MOTHER
AT 60: AN HONORED GRANDMOTHER]
21. "A CAREFUL STUDY of this organ, of its location, of its arteries
and nerves, will convince the growing girl that her body should never
submit to corsets and tight lacing in response to the demands of
fashion, even though nature has so bountifully provided for the safety
of this important organ. By constant pressure the vagina and womb may
be compressed into one-third their natural length or crowded into an
unnatural position. We can readily see, then, the effect of lacing
or tight clothing. Under these circumstances the ligaments lose their
elasticity, and as a result we have prolapsus or falling of the womb.
22. "I AM MORE ANXIOUS for growing girls than for any other earthly
object. These girls are to be the mothers of future generations; upon
them hangs the destiny of the world in coming time, and if they can
be made to understand what is right and what is wrong with regard to
their own bodies now, while they are young, the children they will
give birth to and the men and women who shall call them mother will
be of a higher type and belong to a nobler class than those of the
present day.
23. "ALL WOMEN CANNOT have good features, but they can look well, and
it is possible to a great extent to correct deformity and develop much
of the figure. The first step to good looks is good health, and the
first element of health is cleanliness. Keep clean wash freely, bathe
regularly. All the skin wants is leave to act, and it takes care of
itself.
24. "GIRLS SOMETIMES GET THE IDEA that it is nice to be 'weak' and
'delicate,' but they cannot get a more false idea! God meant women to
be strong and able-bodied, and only by being so can they be happy and
capable of imparting happiness to others. It is only by being strong
and healthy that they can be perfect in their sexual nature; and It is
only by being perfect in this part of their being that you can become
a noble, grand and beautiful woman.
25. "UP TO THE AGE of puberty, if the girl has grown naturally, waist,
hips and shoulders are about the same in width, the shoulders being,
perhaps, a trifle the broadest. Up to this time the sexual organs have
grown but little. Now they take a sudden start and need more room.
Nature aids the girls; the tissues and muscles increase in size and
the pelvis bones enlarge. The limbs grow plump, the girl stops growing
tall and becomes round and full. Unsuspected strength comes to her;
tasks that were once hard to perform are now easy; her voice becomes
sweeter and stronger. The mind develops more rapidly even than the
body; her brain is more active and quicker; subjects that once were
dull and dry have unwonted interest; lessons are more easily learned;
the eyes sparkle with intelligence, indicating increased mental power;
her manner denotes the consciousness of new power; toys of childhood
are laid away; womanly thoughts and pursuits fill her mind; budding
childhood has become blooming womanhood. Now, if ever, must be laid
the foundation of physical vigor and of a healthy body. Girls should
realize the significance of this fact. Do not get the idea that men
admire a weakly, puny, delicate, small-waisted, languid, doll-like
creature, a libel on true womanhood. Girls admire men with broad
chests, square shoulders, erect form, keen bright eyes, hard muscles
and undoubted vigor. Men also turn naturally to healthy, robust,
well-developed girls, and to win their admiration girls must meet
their ideals. A good form, a sound mind and a healthy body are within
the reach of nine out of ten of our girls by proper care and training.
Physical bankruptcy may claim the same proportion if care and training
are neglected.
26. "A WOMAN FIVE FEET TALL should measure two feet around the waist
and thirty-three inches around the hips. A waist less than this
proportion indicates compression either by lacing or tight clothing.
Exercise in the open air, take long walks and vigorous exercise, using
care not to overdo it. Housework will prove a panacea for many of the
ills which flesh is heir to. One hour's exercise at the wash-tub is of
far more value, from a physical standpoint, than hours at the piano.
Boating is most excellent exercise and within the reach of many. Care
in dressing is also important, and, fortunately, fashion is coming to
the rescue here. It is essential that no garments be suspended from
the waist. Let the shoulders bear the weight of all the clothing, so
that the organs of the body may be left free and unimpeded.
27. "SLEEP SHOULD BE HAD regularly and abundantly. Avoid late hours,
undue excitement, evil associations; partake of plain, nutritious
food, and health will be your reward. There is one way of destroying
health, which, fortunately, is not as common among girls as boys,
and which must be mentioned ere this chapter closes. Self-abuse is
practised among growing girls to such an extent as to arouse serious
alarm. Many a girl has been led to handle and play with her sexual
organs through the advice of some girl who has obtained temporary
pleasure in that way; or, perchance, chafing has been followed by
rubbing until the organs have become congested with blood, and in this
accidental manner the girl discovered what seems to her a source of
pleasure, but which, alas, is a source of misery, and even death.
28. "AS IN THE BOY, SO IN THE GIRL, self-abuse causes an undue amount
of blood to flow to those organs, thus depriving other parts of the
body of its nourishment, the weakest part first showing the effect of
want of sustenance. All that has been said upon this loathsome subject
in the preceding chapter for boys might well be repeated here, but
space forbids. Read that chapter again, and know that the same signs
that betray the boy will make known the girl addicted to the vice.
The bloodless lips, the dull, heavy eye surrounded with dark rings,
the nerveless hand, the blanched cheek, the short breath, the old,
faded look, the weakened memory and silly irritability tell the story
all too plainly. The same evil result follows, ending perhaps in
death, or worse, in insanity. Aside from the injury the girl does
herself by yielding to this habit, there is one other reason which
appeals to the conscience, and that is, self-abuse is an offence
against moral law it is putting to a vile, selfish use the organs
which were given for a high, sacred purpose.
29. "LET THEM ALONE, except to care for them when care is needed, and
they may prove the greatest blessing you have ever known. They were
given you that you might become a mother, the highest office to which
God has ever called one of His creatures. Do not debase yourself and
become lower than the beasts of the field. If this habit has fastened
itself upon any one of our readers, stop it now. Do not allow
yourself to think about it, give up all evil associations, seek pure
companions, and go to your mother, older sister, or physician for
advice.
30. "AND YOU, MOTHER, knowing the danger that besets your daughters at
this critical period, are you justified in keeping silent? Can you be
held guiltless if your daughter ruins body and mind because you were
too modest to tell her the laws of her being? There is no love that is
dearer to your daughter than yours, no advice that is more respected
than yours, no one whose warning would be more potent. Fail not in
your duty. As motherhood has been your sweetest joy, so help your
daughter to make it hers."
[Illustration: YOUNG GARFIELD DRIVING TEAM ON THE CANAL.]
* * * * *
SAVE THE BOYS.
PLAIN WORDS TO PARENTS.
1. With a shy look, approaching his mother when she was alone, the boy
of fifteen said, "There are some things I want to ask you. I hear the
boys speak of them at school, and I don't understand, and a fellow
doesn't like to ask any one but his mother."
2. Drawing him down to her, in the darkness that was closing about
them, the mother spoke to her son and the son to his mother freely
of things which everybody must know sooner or later, and which no boy
should learn from "anyone but his mother" or father.
3. If you do not answer such a natural question your boy will turn
for answer to others, and learn things, perhaps, which your cheeks may
well blush to have him know.
4. Our boys and girls are growing faster than we think. The world
moves; we can no longer put off our children with the old nurses'
tales; even MacDonald's beautiful statement,
"Out of the everywhere into the there",
does not satisfy them when they reverse his question and ask, "Where
did I come from?"
5. They must be answered. If we put them off, they may be tempted to
go elsewhere for information, and hear half-truths, or whole truths
so distorted, so mingled with what is low and impure that, struggle
against it as they may in later years, their minds will always retain
these early impressions.
6. It is not so hard if you begin early. The very flowers are object
lessons. The wonderful mystery of life is wrapped in one flower, with
its stamens, pistils and ovaries. Every child knows how an egg came
in the nest, and takes it as a matter of course; why not go one step
farther with them and teach the wonder, the beauty, the holiness that
surrounds maternity anywhere? Why, centuries ago the Romans honored,
and taught their boys to honor, the women in whose safety was bound up
the future of their existence as a nation! Why should we do less?
7. Your sons and mine, your daughters and mine, need to be wisely
taught and guarded just along these lines, if your sons and mine, your
daughters and mine, are to grow up into a pure, healthy, Christian
manhood and womanhood.
[Illustration]
8.[_Footnote: This quotation is an appeal to mothers by Mrs. P.B.
Saur, M.D._] "How grand is the boy who has kept himself undefiled! His
complexion clear, his muscles firm, his movements vigorous, his manner
frank, his courage undaunted, his brain active, his will firm, his
self-control perfect, his body and mind unfolding day by day. His life
should be one song of praise and thanksgiving. If you want your boy to
be such a one, train him, my dear woman, _to-day_, and his _to-morrow_
will take care of itself.
9. "Think you that good seed sown will bring forth bitter fruit? A
thousand times, No! As we sow, so shall we reap. Train your boys in
morality, temperance and virtue. Teach them to embrace good and shun
evil. Teach them the true from the false; the light from the dark.
Teach them that when they take a thing that is not their own, they
commit a sin. Teach them that _sin means disobedience of God's laws of
every kind_.
10. "God made every organ of our body with the intention that it
should perform a certain work. If we wish to see, we use our eyes; if
we want to hear, our ears are called into use. In fact, nature teaches
us the proper use of _all our organs_. I say to you, mother, and oh,
so earnestly: 'Go teach your boy that which you may never be ashamed
to do, about these organs that make him _specially a boy_.'
11. "Teach him they are called _sexual organs_; that they are not
impure, but of special importance, and made by God for a definite
purpose. Teach him that there are impurities taken from the system in
fluid form called urine, and that it passes through the sexual organs,
but that nature takes care of that. Teach him that these organs are
given as a sacred trust, that in maturer years he may be the means of
giving life to those who shall live forever.
12. "Impress upon him that if these organs are abused, or if they are
put to any use besides that for which God made them and He did not
intend they should be used at all until man is fully grown they will
bring disease and ruin upon those who abuse and disobey the laws which
God has made to govern them. If he has ever learned to handle his
_sexual organs_, or to touch them in any way except to keep them
clean, not to do it again. If he does he will not grow up happy,
healthy and strong.
13. "Teach him that when he handles or excites the sexual organs all
parts of the body suffer, because they are connected by nerves that
run throughout the system; this is why it is called 'self-abuse.' The
whole body is abused when this part of the body is handled or excited
in any manner whatever. Teach them to shun all children who indulge in
this loathsome habit, or all children who talk about these things. The
sin is terrible, and is, in fact, worse than lying or stealing. For,
although these are wicked and will ruin their souls, yet this habit of
self-abuse will ruin both soul and body.
14. "If the sexual organs are handled, it brings too much blood to
these parts, and this produces a diseased condition; it also causes
disease in other organs of the body, because they are left with a less
amount of blood than they ought to have. The sexual organs, too, are
very closely connected with the spine and the brain by means of the
nerves, and if they are handled, or if you keep thinking about them,
these nerves get excited and become exhausted, and this makes the back
ache, the brain heavy and the whole body weak.
15. "It lays the foundation for consumption, paralysis and heart
disease. It weakens the memory, makes a boy careless, negligent and
listless. It even makes many lose their minds; others, when grown,
commit suicide. How often mothers see their little boys handling
themselves, and let it pass, because they think the boy will outgrow
the habit, and do not realize the strong hold it has upon them. I say
to you who love your boys 'Watch!'
16. "Don't think it does no harm to your boy because he does not
suffer now, for the effects of this vice come on so slowly that the
victim is often very near death before you realize that he has done
himself harm. The boy with no knowledge of the consequences, and with
no one to warn him, finds momentary pleasure in its practice, and
so contracts a habit which grows upon him, undermining his health,
poisoning his mind, arresting his development, and laying the
foundation for future misery.
17. "Do not read this book and forget it, for it contains earnest and
living truths. Do not let false modesty stand in your way, but from
this time on keep this thought in mind 'the saving of your boy.'
Follow its teachings and you will bless God as long as you live. Read
it to your neighbors, who, like yourself, have growing boys, and urge
them for the sake of humanity to heed its advice.
18. "Right here we want to emphasize the importance of _cleanliness_.
We verily believe that oftentimes these habits originate in a burning
and irritating sensation about the organs, caused by a want of
thorough washing.
19. "It is worthy of note that many eminent physicians now advocate
the custom of circumcision, claiming that the removal of a little of
the foreskin induces cleanliness, thus preventing the irritation and
excitement which come from the gathering of the whiteish matter under
the foreskin at the beginning of the glands. This irritation being
removed, the boy is less apt to tamper with his sexual organs. The
argument seems a good one, especially when we call to mind the high
physical state of those people who have practiced the custom.
20. "Happy is the mother who can feel she has done her duty, in this
direction, while her boy is still a child. For those mothers, though,
whose little boys have now grown to boyhood with the evil still upon
them, and _you_, through ignorance, permitted it, we would say, 'Begin
at once; it is never too late.' If he has not lost all will power, he
can be saved. Let him go in confidence to a reputable physician and
follow his advice. Simple diet, plentiful exercise in open air and
congenial employment will do much. Do not let the mind dwell upon
evil thoughts, shun evil companions, avoid vulgar stories, sensational
novels, and keep the thoughts pure.
21. "Let him interest himself in social and benevolent affairs,
participate in Sunday-school work, farmers' clubs, or any
organizations which tend to elevate and inspire noble sentiment. Let
us remember that 'a perfect man is the noblest work of God.' God has
given us a life which is to last forever, and the little time we spend
on earth is as nothing to the ages which we are to spend in the world
beyond; so our earthly life is a very important part of our existence,
for it is here that the foundation is laid for either happiness or
misery in the future. It is here that we decide our destiny, and our
efforts to know and obey God's laws in our bodies as well as in
our souls will not only bring blessings to us in this life, but
never-ending happiness throughout eternity."
22. A QUESTION. How can a father chew and smoke tobacco, drink and
swear, use vulgar language, tell obscene stories, and raise a family
of pure, clean-minded children? LET THE ECHO ANSWER.
[Illustration: "SUFFER LITTLE CHILDREN, AND FORBID THEM NOT, TO COME
UNTO ME: FOR OF SUCH IS THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN-"--_MATT. 19:14_]
* * * * *
THE INHUMANITIES OF PARENTS.
1. Not long ago a Presbyterian minister in Western New York whipped
his three-year-old boy to death for refusing to say his prayers. The
little fingers were broken; the tender flesh was bruised and actually
mangled; strong men wept when they looked on the lifeless body. Think
of a strong man from one hundred and fifty to two hundred pounds in
weight, pouncing upon a little child, like a Tiger upon a Lamb, and
with his strong arm inflicting physical blows on the delicate tissues
of a child's body. See its frail and trembling flesh quiver and its
tender nervous organization shaking with terror and fear.
2. How often is this the case in the punishment of children all over
this broad land! Death is not often the immediate consequence of this
brutality as in the above stated case, but the punishment is often as
unjust, and the physical constitution of children is often ruined and
the mind by fright seriously injured.
3. Everyone knows the sudden sense of pain, and sometimes dizziness
and nausea follow, as the results of an accidental hitting of the
ankle, knee or elbow against a hard substance, and involuntary tears
are brought to the eyes; but what is such a pain as this compared
with the pains of a dozen or more quick blows on the body of a little
helpless child from the strong arm of a parent in a passion? Add
to this overwhelming terror of fright, the strangulating effects
of sighing and shrieking, and you have a complete picture of
child-torture.
4. Who has not often seen a child receive, within an hour or two of
the first whipping, a second one, for some small ebullition of nervous
irritability, which was simply inevitable from its spent and worn
condition?
5. Would not all mankind cry out at the inhumanity of one who, as
things are to-day, should propose the substitution of pricking or
cutting or burning for whipping? It would, however, be easy to show
that small jabs or pricks or cuts are more human than the blows
many children receive. Why may not lying be as legitimately cured by
blisters made with hot coals as by black and blue spots made with
a ruler or whip? The principle is the same; and if the principle is
right, why not multiply methods?
6. How many loving mothers will, without any thought of cruelty,
inflict half a dozen quick blows on the little hand of her child and
when she could no more take a pin and make the same number of thrusts
into the tender flesh, than she could bind the baby on a rack. Yet
the pin-thrust would hurt far less, and would probably make a deeper
impression on the child's mind.
[Illustration]
7. We do not intend to be understood that a child must have everything
that it desires and every whim and wish to receive special recognition
by the parents. Children can soon be made to understand the necessity
of obedience, and punishment can easily be brought about by teaching
them self-denial. Deny them the use of a certain plaything, deny them
the privilege of visiting certain of their little friends, deny
them the privilege of the table, etc., and these self-denials can be
applied according to the age and condition of the child, with firmness
and without any yielding. Children will soon learn obedience if they
see the parents are sincere. Lessons of home government can be learned
by the children at home as well as they can learn lessons at school.
8. The trouble is, many parents need more government, more training
and more discipline than the little ones under their control.
9. Scores of times during the day a child is told in a short,
authoritative way to do or not to do certain little things, which we
ask at the hands of elder persons as favors. When we speak to an elder
person, we say, would you be so kind as to close the door, when the
same person making the request of a child will say, _"Shut the door."_
_"Bring me the chair."_ _"Stop that noise."_ _"Sit down there."_
Whereas, if the same kindness was used towards the child it would soon
learn to imitate the example.
10. On the other hand, let a child ask for anything without saying
"please," receive anything without saying "thank you," it suffers a
rebuke and a look of scorn at once. Often a child insists on having a
book, chair or apple to the inconveniencing of an elder, and what an
outcry is raised: "Such rudeness;" "Such an ill-mannered child;" "His
parents must have neglected him strangely." Not at all: The parents
may have been steadily telling him a great many times every day not
to do these precise things which you dislike. But they themselves have
been all the time doing those very things before him, and there is no
proverb that strikes a truer balance between two things than the old
one which weighs example over against precept.
11. It is a bad policy to be rude to children. A child will win and be
won, and in a long run the chances are that the child will have better
manners than its parents. Give them a good example and take pains in
teaching them lessons of obedience and propriety, and there will be
little difficulty in raising a family of beautiful and well-behaved
children.
12. Never correct a child in the presence of others; it is a rudeness
to the child that will soon destroy its self-respect. It is the way
criminals are made and should always and everywhere be condemned.
13. But there are no words to say what we are or what we deserve if we
do this to the little children whom we have dared for our own pleasure
to bring into the perils of this life, and whose whole future may be
blighted by the mistakes of our careless hands. There are thousands of
young men and women to-day groaning under the penalties and burdens
of life, who owe their misfortunes, their shipwreck and ruin to the
ignorance or indifference of parents.
14. Parents of course love their children, but with that love there is
a responsibility that cannot be shirked. The government and training
of children is a study that demands a parent's time and attention
often much more than the claims of business.
15. Parents, study the problems that come up every day in your home.
Remember, your future happiness, and the future welfare of your
children, depend upon it.
16. CRIMINALS AND HEREDITY. Wm. M.F. Round was for many years in
charge of the House of Refuge on Randall's Island, New York, and his
opportunities for observation in the work among criminals surely
make him a competent judge, and he says in his letter to the New York
Observer: "Among this large number of young offenders I can state
with entire confidence that not one per cent. were children born of
criminal parents; and with equal confidence I am able to say that the
common cause of their delinquency was found in bad parental training,
in bad companionship, and in lack of wholesome restraint from evil
associations and influences. It was this knowledge that led to the
establishing of the House of Refuge nearly three-quarters of a century
ago."
17. BAD TRAINING. Thus it is seen from one of the best authorities in
the United States that criminals are made either by the indifference
or the neglect of parents, or both, or by too much training without
proper judgment and knowledge. Give your children a good example, and
never tell a child to do something and then become indifferent as to
whether they do it or not. A child should never be told twice to do
the same thing. Teach the child in childhood obedience and never vary
from that rule. Do it kindly but firmly.
18. IF YOUR CHILDREN DO NOT OBEY OR RESPECT YOU in their childhood and
youth, how can you expect to govern them when older and shape their
character for future usefulness and good citizenship?
19. THE FUNDAMENTAL RULE. Never tell a child twice to do the same
thing. Command the respect of your children, and there will be no
question as to obedience.
* * * * *
CHASTITY AND PURITY OF CHARACTER.
[Illustration]
1. CHASTITY is the purest and brightest jewel in human character. Dr.
Pierce in his widely known _Medical Adviser_ says: For the full and
perfect development of mankind, both mental and physical, chastity is
necessary. The health demands abstinence from unlawful intercourse.
Therefore children should be instructed to avoid all impure works of
fiction, which tend to inflame the mind and excite the passions. Only
in total abstinence from illicit pleasures is there safety, morals,
and health, while integrity, peace and happiness are the conscious
rewards of virtue. Impurity travels downward with intemperance,
obscenity and corrupting diseases, to degradation and death. A
dissolute, licentious, free-and-easy life is filled with the dregs of
human suffering, iniquity and despair. The penalties which follow a
violation of the law of chastity are found to be severe and swiftly
retributive.
2. THE UNION of the sexes in holy Matrimony is a law of nature,
finding sanction in both morals and legislation. Even some of the
lower animals unite in this union for life and instinctively observe
the law of conjugal fidelity with a consistency which might put to
blush other animals more highly endowed. It seems important to discuss
this subject and understand our social evils, as well as the intense
passional desires of the sexes, which must be controlled, or they lead
to ruin.
3. SEXUAL PROPENSITIES are possessed by all, and these must be held in
abeyance, until they are needed for legitimate purposes. Hence parents
ought to understand the value to their children of mental and physical
labor, to elevate and strengthen the intellectual and moral faculties,
to develop the muscular system and direct the energies of the
blood into healthful channels. Vigorous employment of mind and body
engrosses the vital energies and diverts them from undue excitement of
the sexual desires.
_Give your young people plenty of outdoor amusement; less of
dancing and more of croquet and lawn tennis. Stimulate the methods
of pure thoughts in innocent amusement, and your sons and daughters
will mature to manhood and womanhood pure and chaste in character._
4. IGNORANCE DOES NOT MEAN INNOCENCE.--It is a current idea,
especially among our good common people, that the child should be
kept in ignorance regarding the mystery of his own body and how he was
created or came into the world. This is a great mistake. Parents must
know that the sources of social impurity are great, and the child is a
hundred times more liable to have his young mind poisoned if
entirely ignorant of the functions of his nature than if judiciously
enlightened on these important truths by the parent. The parent must
give him weapons of defense against the putrid corruption he is sure
to meet outside the parental roof. The child cannot get through the A,
B, C period of school without it.
5. CONFLICTING VIEWS.--There is a great difference of opinion regarding
the age at which the child should be taught the mysteries of nature:
some maintain that he cannot comprehend the subject before the age of
puberty; others say "they will find it out soon enough, it is not best
to have them over-wise while they are so young. Wait a while." That is
just the point (_they will find it out_), and we ask in all candor,
is it not better that they learn it from the pure loving mother,
untarnished from any insinuating remark, than that they should learn
it from some foul-mouthed libertine on the street, or some giddy girl
at school? Mothers! fathers! which think you is the most sensible and
fraught with the least danger to your darling boy or girl?
6. DELAY IS FRAUGHT WITH DANGER.--Knowledge on a subject so vitally
connected with moral health must not be deferred. It is safe to say
that no child, no boy at least in these days of excitement and unrest,
reaches the age of ten years without getting some idea of nature's
laws regarding parenthood. And ninety-nine chances to one, those ideas
will be vile and pernicious unless they come from a wise, loving and
pure parent. Now, we entreat you, parents, mothers! do not wait; begin
before a false notion has had chance to find lodgment in the childish
mind. But remember this is a lesson of life, it cannot be told in one
chapter, it is as important as the lessons of love and duty.
7. THE FIRST LESSONS.--Should you be asked by your four or five-year
old, "Mamma, where did you get me?" Instead of saying, "The doctor
brought you," or "God made you and a stork brought you from Babyland
on his back," tell him the truth as you would about any ordinary
question. One mother's explanation was something like this: "My
dear, you were not made any more than apples are made, or the little
chickens are made. Your dolly was made, but it has no life like you
have. God has provided that all living things such as plants, trees,
little chickens, little kittens, little babies, etc., should grow from
seeds or little tiny eggs. Apples grow, little chickens grow, little
babies grow. Apple and peach trees grow from seeds that are planted
in the ground, and the apples and peaches grow on the trees. Baby
chickens grow inside the eggs that are kept warm by the mother hen
for a certain time. Baby boys and girls do not grow inside an egg, but
they start to grow inside of a snug warm nest, from an egg that is
so small you cannot see it with just your eye." This was not given at
once, but from time to time as the child asked questions and in the
simplest language, with many illustrations from plant and animal
life. It may have occupied months, but in time the lesson was fully
understood.
8. THE SECOND LESSON.--The second lesson came with the question, "But
_where_ is the nest?" The ice is now broken, as it were; it was an
easy matter for the mother to say, "The nest in which you grew, dear,
was close to your mother's heart inside her body. All things that
do not grow inside the egg itself, and which are kept warm by the
mother's body, begin to grow from the egg in a nest inside the
mother's body." It may be that this mother had access to illustrations
of the babe in the womb which were shown and explained to the child,
a boy. He was pleased and satisfied with the explanations. It meant
nothing out of the ordinary any more than a primary lesson on the
circulatory system did, it was knowledge on nature in its purity and
simplicity taught by mother, and hence caused no surprise. The subject
of the male and female generative organs came later; the greatest
pains and care was taken to make it clear, the little boy was taught
that the _sexual organs_ were made for a high and holy purpose, that
their office at present is only to carry off impurities from the
system in the fluid form called urine, and that he must never handle
his _sexual organs_ nor touch them in any way except to keep them
clean, and if he does this, he will grow up a bright, happy and
healthy boy. But if he excites or _abuses_ them, he will become
puny, sickly and unhappy. All this was explained in language pure and
simple. There is now in the boy a sturdy base of character building
along the line of virtue and purity through knowledge.
9. SILLY DIRTY TRASH.--But I hear some mother say "Such silly dirty
trash to tell a child!" It is not dirty nor silly; it is nature's
untarnished truth. God has ordained that children should thus be
brought into the world, do you call the works of God silly? Remember,
kind mother, and don't forget it, if you fail to teach your children,
boys or girls, these important lessons early in life, they will
learn them from other sources, perhaps long ere you dream of it,
and ninety-nine times out of one hundred they will get improper,
perverted, impure and vile ideas of these important truths; besides
you nave lost their confidence and you will never regain it in these
matters. They will never come to mamma for information on these
subjects. And, think you, that your son and daughter, later in life
will make you their confidant as they ought? Will your beautiful
daughter hand the first letters she receives from her lover to mamma
to read, and seek her counsel and advice when she replies to them?
Will she ask mamma whether it is ever proper to sit in her lover's
lap? I think not; you have blighted her confidence and alienated her
affections. You have kept knowledge from her that she had a right
to know; you even failed to teach her the important truths of
menstruation. Troubled and excited at the first menstrual flow, she
dashed her feet in cold water hoping to stop the flow. You know the
results she is now twenty-five but is suffering from it to this day.
You, her mother, over fastidious, _so very nice_ you would never
mention "_such silly trash_" but by your consummate foolishness and
mock modesty you have ruined your daughter's health, and though in
later years she may forgive you, yet she can never love and respect
you as she ought.
10. "KNOWLEDGE THE PRESERVER OF PURITY."--Laura E. Scammon, writing on
this subject, in the Arena of November, 1893, says: "When questions
arise that can not be answered by observation, reply to each as simply
and directly as you answer questions upon other subjects, giving
scientific names and facts, and such explanations as are suited to
the comprehension of the child. Treat nature and her laws always with
serious, respectful attention. Treat the holy mysteries of parenthood
reverently, never losing sight of the great law upon which are founded
all others the law of love. Say it and sing it, play it and pray it
into the soul of your child, that _love is lord of all_."
11. CONCLUSION OF THE WHOLE MATTER.--Observation and common sense
should teach every parent that lack of knowledge on these subjects and
proper counsel and advice in later years is the main cause of so
many charming girls being seduced and led astray, and so many bright
promising boys wrecked by _self-abuse or social impurity_. Make your
children your confidants early in life, especially in these things,
have frequent talks with them on nature, and you will never, other
things being equal, mourn over a ruined daughter or a wreckless,
debased son.
* * * * *
EXCITING THE PASSIONS IN CHILDREN.
1. CONVERSATION BEFORE CHILDREN.--The conduct and conversation of
adults before children and youth, how often have I blushed with shame,
and kindled with indignation at the conversation of parents, and
especially of mothers, to their children: "John, go and kiss Harriet,
for she is your sweet-heart." Well may shame make him hesitate and
hang his head. "Why, John, I did not think you so great a coward.
Afraid of the girls, are you? That will never do. Come, go along, and
hug and kiss her. There, that's a man. I guess you will love the girls
yet." Continually is he teased about the girls and being in love, till
he really selects a sweet-heart.
2. THE LOSS OF MAIDEN PURITY AND NATURAL DELICACY.--I will not lift
the veil, nor expose the conduct of children among themselves. And
all this because adults have filled their heads with those impurities
which surfeit their own. What could more effectually wear off that
natural delicacy, that maiden purity and bashfulness, which form the
main barriers against the influx of vitiated Amativeness? How often do
those whose modesty has been worn smooth, even take pleasure in thus
saying and doing things to raise the blush on the cheek of youth and
innocence, merely to witness the effect of this improper illusion
upon them; little realizing that they are thereby breaking down the
barriers of their virtue, and prematurely kindling the fires of animal
passion!
3. BALLS. PARTIES AND AMUSEMENTS.--The entire machinery of balls
and parties, of dances and other amusements of young people, tend to
excite and inflame this passion. Thinking it a fine thing to get in
love, they court and form attachments long before either their mental
or physical powers are matured. Of course, these young loves, these
green-house exotics, must be broken off, and their miserable subjects
left burning up with the fierce fires of a flaming passion, which, if
left alone, would have slumbered on for years, till they were prepared
for its proper management and exercise.
4. SOWING THE SEEDS FOR FUTURE RUIN.--Nor is it merely the
conversation of adults that does all this mischief; their manners also
increase it. Young men take the hands of girls from six to thirteen
years old, kiss them, press them, and play with them so as, in a great
variety of ways, to excite their innocent passions, combined, I grant,
with friendship and refinement--for all this is genteely done. They
intend no harm, and parents dream of none: and yet their embryo love
is awakened, to be again still more easily excited. Maiden ladies, and
even married women, often express similar feelings towards lads, not
perhaps positively improper in themselves, yet injurious in their
ultimate effects.
5. READING NOVELS.--How often have I seen girls not twelve years old,
as hungry for a story or novel as they should be for their dinners! A
sickly sentimentalism is thus formed, and their minds are sullied with
impure desires. Every fashionable young lady must of course read every
new novel, though nearly all of them contain exceptionable allusions,
perhaps delicately covered over with a thin gauze of fashionable
refinement; yet, on that very account, the more objectionable. If
this work contained one improper allusion to their ten, many of those
fastidious ladies who now eagerly devour the vulgarities of Dumas, and
the double-entendres of Bulwer, and even converse with gentlemen about
their contents, would discountenance or condemn it as improper. _Shame
on novel-reading women_; for they cannot have pure minds or unsullied
feelings, but Cupid and the beaux, and waking of dreams of love, are
fast consuming their health and virtue.
6. THEATER-GOING.--Theaters and theatrical dancing, also inflame
the passions, and are "the wide gate" of "the broad road" of moral
impurity. Fashionable music is another, especially the verses set to
it, being mostly love-sick ditties, or sentimental odes, breathing
this tender passion in its most melting and bewitching strains.
Improper prints often do immense injury in this respect, as do also
balls, parties, annuals, newspaper articles, exceptional works, etc.
7. THE CONCLUSION OF THE WHOLE MATTER.--Stop for one moment and think
for yourself and you will be convinced that the sentiment herein
announced is for your good and the benefit of all mankind.
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
* * * * *
PUBERTY, VIRILITY AND HYGIENIC LAWS.
1. WHAT IS PUBERTY?--The definition is explained in another portion
of this book, but it should be understood that it is not a prompt or
immediate change; it is a slow extending growth and may extend for
many years. The ripening of physical powers do not take place when the
first signs of puberty appear.
2. PROPER AGE.--The proper age for puberty should vary from twelve to
eighteen years. As a general rule, in the more vigorous and the more
addicted to athletic exercise or out-door life, this change is slower
in making its approach.
3. HYGIENIC ATTENTION.--Youths at this period should receive special
private attention. They should be taught the purpose of the sexual
organs and the proper hygienic laws that govern them, and they should
also be taught to rise in the morning and not to lie in bed after
waking up, because it is largely owing to this habit that the secret
vice is contracted. One of the common causes of premature excitement
in many boys is a tight foreskin. It may cause much evil and
ought always to be remedied. Ill-fitting garments often cause much
irritation in children and produce unnatural passions. It is best to
have boys sleep in separate beds and not have them sleep together if
it can be avoided.
4. PROPER INFLUENCE.--Every boy and girl should be carefully trained
to look with disgust on everything that is indecent in word or action.
Let them be taught a sense of shame in doing shameful things, and
teach them that modesty is honorable, and that immodesty is indecent
and dishonorable. Careful training at the proper age may save many a
boy or girl from ruin.
5. SEXUAL PASSIONS.--The sexual passions may be a fire from heaven, or
a subtle flame from hell. It depends upon the government and proper
control. The noblest and most unselfish emotions take their arise
in the passion of sex. Its sweet influence, its elevating ties,
its vibrations and harmony, all combine to make up the noble and
courageous traits of man.
6. WHEN PASSIONS BEGIN.--It is thought by some that passions begin at
the age of puberty, but the passions may be produced as early as
five or ten years. All depends upon the training or the want of it.
Self-abuse is not an uncommon evil at the age of eight or ten. A
company of bad boys often teach an innocent child that which will
develop his ruin. A boy may feel a sense of pleasure at eight and
produce a slight discharge, but not of semen. Thus it is seen that
parents may by neglect do their child the greatest injury.
7. FALSE MODESTY.--Let there be no false modesty on part of the
parents. Give the child the necessary advice and instructions as soon
as necessary.
8. THE MAN UNSEXED, by Mutilation or Masturbation. Eunuchs
are proverbial for tenor cruelty and crafty and unsympathizing
dispositions. Their mental powers are feeble and their physical
strength is inferior. They lack courage and physical endurance. When
a child is operated upon before the age of puberty, the voice retains
its childish treble, the limbs their soft and rounded outlines, and
the neck acquires a feminine fulness; no beard makes its appearance.
In ancient times and up to this time in Oriental nations eunuchs are
found. They are generally slaves who have suffered mutilation at a
tender age. It is a scientific fact that where boys have been taught
the practice of masturbation in their early years, say from eight to
fourteen years of age, if they survive at all they often have their
powers reduced to a similar condition of a eunuch. They generally
however suffer a greater disadvantage. Their health will be more or
less injured. In the eunuch the power of sexual intercourse is not
entirely lost, but of course there is sterility, and little if
any satisfaction, and the same thing may be true of the victim of
self-abuse.
9. SIGNS OF VIRILITY.--As the young man develops in strength and years
the sexual appetite will manifest itself. The secretion of the male
known as the seed or semen depends for the life-transmitting power
upon little minute bodies called spermatozoa. These are very active
and numerous in a healthy secretion, being many hundreds in a single
drop and a single one of them is capable to bring about conception in
a female. Dr. Napheys in his "Transmission of Life," says: "The
secreted fluid has been frozen and kept at a temperature of zero for
four days, yet when it was thawed these animalcules, as they are
supposed to be, were as active as ever. They are not, however, always
present, and when present may be of variable activity. In young men,
just past puberty, and in aged men, they are often scarce and languid
in motion." At the proper age the secretion is supposed to be the most
active, generally at the age of twenty-five, and decreases as age
increases.
10. HYGIENIC RULE.--The man at mid-life should guard carefully his
passions and the husband his virile powers, and as the years progress,
steadily wean himself more from his desire, for his passions will
become weaker with age and any excitement in middle life may soon
debilitate and destroy his virile powers.
11. FOLLIES OF YOUTH.--Dr. Napheys says: "Not many men can fritter away
a decade or two of years in dissipation and excess, and ever hope to
make up their losses by rigid surveillance in later years." "The
sins of youth are expiated in age," is a proverb which daily examples
illustrate. In proportion as puberty is precocious, will decadence be
premature; the excesses of middle life draw heavily on the fortune
of later years. "The mill of the gods grinds slow, but it grinds
exceedingly fine," and though nature may be a tardy creditor, she is
found at last to be an inexorable one.
* * * * *
OUR SECRET SINS.
1. PASSIONS.--Every healthful man has sexual desires and he might as
well refuse to satisfy his hunger as to deny their existence. The
Creator has given us various appetites intended they should be
indulged, and has provided the means.
2. REASON.--While it is true that a healthy man has strongly developed
sexual passions, yet, God has crowned man with reason, and with
a proper exercise of this wonderful faculty of the human mind no
lascivious thoughts need to control the passions. A pure heart will
develop pure thoughts and bring out a good life.
3. RIOTING IN VISIONS.--Dr. Lewis says: "Rioting in visions of nude
women may exhaust one as much as an excess in actual intercourse.
There are multitudes who would never spend the night with an abandoned
female, but who rarely meet a young girl that their imaginations are
not busy with her person. This species of indulgence is well-nigh
universal; and it is the source of all other forms the fountain from
which the external vices spring, and the nursery of masturbation."
4. COMMITTING ADULTERY IN THE HEART.--A young man who allows his mind
to dwell upon the vision of nude women will soon become a victim of
ruinous passion, and either fall under the influence of lewd women
or resort to self-abuse. The man who has no control over his mind and
allows impure thoughts to be associated with the name of every female
that may be suggested to his mind, is but committing adultery in his
heart, just as guilty at heart as though he had committed the deed.
5. UNCHASTITY.--So far as the record is preserved, unchastity has
contributed above all other causes, more to the ruin and exhaustion
and demoralization of the race than all other wickedness. And we shall
not be likely to vanquish the monster, even in ourselves, unless we
make the thoughts our point of attack. So long as they are sensual we
are indulging in sexual abuse, and are almost sure, when temptation
is presented, to commit the overt acts of sin. If we cannot succeed
within, we may pray in vain for help to resist the tempter outwardly.
A young man who will indulge in obscene language will be guilty of a
worse deed if opportunity is offered.
6. BAD DRESSING.--If women knew how much mischief they do men they
would change some of their habits of dress. The dress of their busts,
the padding in different parts, are so contrived as to call away
attention from the soul and fix it on the bosom and hips. And then,
many, even educated women, are careful to avoid serious subjects in
our presence one minute before a gentleman enters the room they may
be engaged in thoughtful discussion, but the moment he appears their
whole style changes; they assume light fascinating ways, laugh sweet
little bits of laughs, and turn their heads this way and that, all
which forbids serious thinking and gives men over to imagination.
7. THE LUSTFUL EYE.--How many men there are who lecherously stare at
every woman in whose presence they happen to be. These monsters stare
at women as though they were naked in a cage on exhibition. A man
whose whole manner is full of animal passion is not worthy of
the respect of refined women. They have no thoughts, no ideas, no
sentiments, nothing to interest them but the bodies of women whom
they behold. The moral character of young women has no significance
or weight in their eyes. This kind of men are a curse to society and a
danger to the community. No young lady is safe in their company.
8. REBUKING SENSUALISM.--If the young women would exercise an honorable
independence and heap contempt upon the young men that allow their
imagination to take such liberties, a different state of things would
soon follow. Men of that type of character should have no recognition
in the presence of ladies.
9. EARLY MARRIAGES.--There can be no doubt that early marriages are
bad for both parties. For children of such a marriage always lack
vitality. The ancient Germans did not marry until the twenty-fourth
or twenty-fifth year, previous to which they observed the most rigid
chastity, and in consequence they acquired a size and strength that
excited the astonishment of Europe. The present incomparable vigor of
that race, both physically and mentally, is due in a great measure to
their long established aversion to marrying young. The results of too
early marriages are in brief, stunted growth and impaired strength
on the part of the male; delicate if not utterly bad health in the
female; the premature old age or death of one or both, and a puny,
sickly offspring.
10. SIGNS OF EXCESSES.--Dr. Dio Lewis says: "Some of the most common
effects of sexual excess are backache, lassitude, giddiness, dimness
of sight, noises in the ears, numbness of the fingers, and paralysis.
The drain is universal, but the more sensitive organs and tissues
suffer most. So the nervous system gives way and continues the
principal sufferer throughout. A large part of the premature loss of
sight and hearing, dizziness, numbness and pricking in the hands
and feet, and other kindred developments, are justly chargeable to
unbridled venery. Not unfrequently you see men whose head or back or
nerve testifies of such reckless expenditure."
11. NON-COMPLETED INTERCOURSE.--Withdrawal before the emission occurs
is injurious to both parties. The soiling of the conjugal bed by the
shameful manoeuvres is to be deplored.
12. THE EXTENT OF THE PRACTICE.--One cannot tell to what extent this
vice is practiced, except by observing its consequences, even among
people who fear to commit the slightest sin, to such a degree is the
public conscience perverted upon this point. Still, many husbands know
that nature often renders nugatory the most subtle calculations, and
reconquers the rights which they have striven to frustrate. No matter;
they persevere none the less, and by the force of habit they poison
the most blissful moments of life, with no surety of averting the
result that they fear. So who knows if the too often feeble and
weakened infants are not the fruit of these in themselves incomplete
procreations, and disturbed by preoccupations foreign to the natural
act.
13. HEALTH OF WOMEN.--Furthermore, the moral relations existing between
the married couple undergo unfortunate changes; this affection,
founded upon reciprocal esteem, is little by little effaced by the
repetition of an act which pollutes the marriage bed. If the good
harmony of families and the reciprocal relations are seriously menaced
by the invasion of these detestable practices, the health of women, as
we have already intimated, is fearfully injured.
14. CROWNING SIN OF THE AGE.--Then there is the crime of abortion which
is so prevalent in these days. It is the crowning sin of the age,
though in a broader sense it includes all those sins that are
committed to limit the size of the family. "It lies at the root of our
spiritual life," says Rev. B.D. Sinclair, "and though secret in its
nature, paralyzes Christian life and neutralizes every effort for
righteousness which the church puts forth."
15. SEXUAL EXHAUSTION.--Every sexual excitement is exhaustive in
proportion to its intensity and continuance. If a man sits by the side
of a woman, fondles and kisses her three or four hours, and allows his
imagination to run riot with sexual visions, he will be five times as
much exhausted as he would by the act culminating in emission. It is
the sexual excitement more than the emission which exhausts. As shown
in another part of this work, thoughts of sexual intimacies, long
continued, lead to the worst effects. To a man, whose imagination
is filled with erotic fancies the emission comes as a merciful
interruption to the burning, harassing and wearing excitement which so
constantly goads him.
16. THE DESIRE OF GOOD.--The desire of good for its own sake--this is
Love. The desire of good for bodily pleasure--this is Lust. Man is a
moral being, and as such should always act in the animal sphere
according to the spiritual law. Hence, to break the law of the highest
creative action for the mere gratification of animal instinct is to
perform the act of sin and to produce the corruption of nature.
17. CAUSE OF PROSTITUTION.--Dr. Dio Lewis says: "Occasionally we meet a
diseased female with excessive animal passion, but such a case is
very rare. The average woman has so little sexual desire that if
licentiousness depended upon her, uninfluenced by her desire to please
man or secure his support, there would be very little sexual excess.
Man is strong he has all the money and all the facilities for business
and pleasure; and woman is not long in learning the road to his favor.
Many prostitutes who take no pleasure in their unclean intimacies not
only endure a disgusting life for the favor and means thus gained,
but affect intense passion in their sexual contacts because they have
learned that such exhibitions gratify men."
18. HUSBAND'S BRUTALITY.--Husbands! It is your licentiousness that
drives your wives to a deed so abhorrent to their every wifely,
womanly and maternal instinct a deed which ruins the health of their
bodies, prostitutes their souls, and makes marriage, maternity and
womanhood itself degrading and loathsome. No terms can sufficiently
characterize the cruelty, meanness and disgusting selfishness of your
conduct when you impose on them a maternity so detested as to drive
them to the desperation of killing their unborn children and often
themselves.
19. WHAT DRUNKARDS BEQUEATH TO THEIR OFFSPRING.--Organic imperfections
unfit the brain for sane action, and habit confirms the insane
condition; the man's brain has become unsound. Then comes in the
law of hereditary descent, by which the brain of a man's children
is fashioned after his own not as it was originally, but as it has
become, in consequence of frequent functional disturbance. Hence,
of all appetites, the inherited appetite for drunkenness is the most
direful. Natural laws contemplate no exceptions, and sins against them
are never pardoned.
20. THE REPORTS OF HOSPITALS.--The reports of hospitals for lunatics
almost universally assign intemperance as one of the causes which
predispose a man's offspring to insanity. This is even more strikingly
manifested in the case of congenital idiocy. They come generally from
a class of families which seem to have degenerated physically to a low
degree. They are puny and sickly.
21. SECRET DISEASES.--See the weakly, sickly and diseased children who
are born only to suffer and die, all because of the private disease
of the father before his marriage. Oh, let the truth be told that the
young men of our land may learn the lessons of purity of life. Let
them learn that in morality there is perfect protection and happiness.
[Illustration: GETTING A DIVORCE.]
[Illustration: THE DEGENERATE TURK.]
* * * * *
PHYSICAL AND MORAL DEGENERACY.
1. MORAL PRINCIPLE.--"Edgar Allen Poe, Lord Byron, and Robert Burns,"
says Dr. Geo. F. Hall, "were men of marvelous strength intellectually.
But measured by the true rule of high moral principle, they were very
weak. Superior endowment in a single direction--physical, mental, or
spiritual--is not of itself sufficient to make one strong in all that
that heroic word means.
2. INSANE ASYLUM.--many a good man spiritually has gone to an untimely
grave because of impaired physical powers. Many a good man spiritually
has gone to the insane asylum because of bodily and mental weaknesses.
Many a good man spiritually has fallen from virtue in an evil moment
because of a weakened will, or a too demanding fleshly passion, or,
worse than either, too lax views on the subject of personal chastity."
3. BOYS LEARNING VICES.--some ignorant and timid people argue that
boys and young men in reading a work of this character will learn
vices concerning which they had never so much as dreamed of before.
This is, however, certain, that vices cannot be condemned unless they
are mentioned; and if the condemnation is strong enough it surely will
be a source of strength and of security. If light and education, on
these important subjects, does injury, then all knowledge likewise
must do more wrong than good. Knowledge is power, and the only hope of
the race is enlightenment on all subjects pertaining to their being.
4. MORAL MANHOOD.--it is clearly visible that the American manhood
is rotting down--decaying at the center. The present generation shows
many men of a small body and weak principles, and men and women
of this kind are becoming more and more prevalent. Dissipation
and indiscretions of all kind are working ruin. Purity of life and
temperate habits are being too generally disregarded.
5. YOUNG WOMEN.--the vast majority of graduates from the schools and
colleges of our land to-day, and two-thirds of the membership of our
churches, and three-fourths of the charitable workers, are females.
Everywhere girls are carrying off most of the prizes in competitive
examinations, because women, as a sex, naturally maintain a better
character, take better care of their bodies, and are less addicted
to bad and injurious habits. While all this is true in reference to
females, you will find that the male sex furnishes almost the entire
number of criminals. The saloons, gambling dens, the brothels, and bad
literature are drawing down all that the public schools can build
up. Seventy per cent. Of the young men of this land do not darken the
church door. They are not interested in moral improvement or moral
education. Eighty-five per cent. Leave school under 15 years of age;
prefer the loafer's honors to the benefit of school.
6. PROMOTION.--the world is full of good places for good young men,
and all the positions of trust now occupied by the present generation
will soon be filled by the competent young men of the coming
generation; and he that keeps his record clean, lives a pure life, and
avoids excesses or dissipations of all kinds, and fortifies his life
with good habits, is the young man who will be heard from, and a
thousand places will be open for his services.
7. PERSONAL PURITY.--Dr. George F. Hall says: "why not pay careful
attention to man in all his elements of strength, physical, mental,
and moral? Why not make personal purity a fixed principle in the
manhood of the present and coming generation, and thus insure the best
men the world has ever seen? It can be done. Let every reader of these
lines resolve that he will be one to help do it."
[Illustration: Charles Dickens' chair and desk.]
* * * * *
IMMORALITY, DISEASE AND DEATH.
1. THE POLICY OF SILENCE.--there is no greater delusion than to
suppose that vast number of boys know nothing about practices of sin.
Some parents are afraid that unclean thoughts may be suggested by
these very defences. The danger is slight. Such cases are barely
possible, but when the untold thousands are thought of on the other
side, who have been demoralized from childhood through ignorance, and
who are to-day suffering the result of these vicious practices,
the policy of silence stands condemned, and intelligent knowledge
abundantly justified. The emphatic words of scripture are true in this
respect also, "the people are destroyed for lack of knowledge."
2. LIVING ILLUSTRATION.--without fear of truthful contradiction, we
affirm that the homes, public assemblies, and streets of all our
large cities abound to-day with living illustrations and proofs of the
widespread existence of this physical and moral scourge. An enervated
and stunted manhood, a badly developed physique, a marked absence
of manly and womanly strength and beauty, are painfully common
everywhere. Boys and girls, young men and women, exist by thousands,
of whom it may be said, they were badly born and ill-developed. Many
of them are, to some extent, bearing the penalty of the [transcriber's
note: the text appears to read "sins" but it is unclear] and excesses
of their parents, especially their fathers, whilst the great majority
are reaping the fruits of their own immorality in a dwarfed and
ill-formed body, and effeminate appearance, weak and enervated mind.
3. EFFEMINATE AND SICKLY YOUNG MEN.--the purposeless and aimless life
of any number of effeminate and sickly young men, is to be distinctly
attributed to these sins. The large class of mentally impotent
"ne'er-do-wells" are being constantly recruited and added to by those
who practice what the celebrated Erichson calls "that hideous sin
engendered by vice, and practiced in solitude"--the sin, be it
observed, which is the common cause of physical and mental weakness,
and of the fearfully impoverishing night-emissions, or as they are
commonly called, "wet-dreams."
4. WEAKNESS, DISEASE, DEFORMITY, AND DEATH.--Through self-pollution
and fornication the land is being corrupted with weakness, disease,
deformity, and death. We regret to say that we cannot speak with
confidence concerning the moral character of the Jew; but we have
people amongst us who have deservedly a high character for the tone of
their moral life--we refer to the members of the Society of Friends.
The average of life amongst these reaches no less than fifty-six
years; and, whilst some allowance must be made for the fact that
amongst the Friends the poor have not a large representation, these
figures show conclusively the soundness of this position.
5. SOWING THEIR WILD OATS.--It is monstrous to suppose that healthy
children should die just as they are coming to manhood. The fact that
thousands of young people do reach the age of sixteen or eighteen, and
then decline and die, should arouse parents to ask the question: Why?
Certainly it would not be difficult to tell the reason in thousands
of instances, and yet the habit and practice of the deadly sin of
self-pollution is actually ignored; it is even spoken of as a boyish
folly not to be mentioned, and young men literally burning up with
lust are mildly spoken of as "sowing their wild oats." Thus the
cemetery is being filled with masses of the youth of America who, as
in Egypt of old, fill up the graves of uncleanness and lust. Some time
since a prominent Christian man was taking exception to my addressing
men on this subject; observe this! one of his own sons was at that
very time near the lunatic asylum through these disgusting sins. What
folly and madness this is!
6. DEATH TO TRUE MANHOOD.--The question for each one is, "In what way
are you going to divert the courses of the streams of energy which
pertain to youthful vigor and manhood?" To be destitute of that which
may be described as raw material in the human frame, means that no
really vigorous manhood can have place; to burn up the juices of the
system in the fires of lust is madness and wanton folly, but it can be
done. To divert the currents of life and energy from blood and brain,
from memory and muscle, in order to secrete it for the shambles of
prostitution, is death to true manhood; but remember, it can be done!
The generous liquid life may inspire the brain and blood with noble
impulse and vital force, or it may be sinned away and drained out of
the system until the jaded brain, the faded cheek, the enervated young
manhood, the gray hair, narrow chest, weak voice, and the enfeebled
mind show another victim in the long catalogue of the degraded through
lust.
7. THE SISTERHOOD OF SHAME AND DEATH.--Whenever we pass the sisterhood
of death, and hear the undertone of song, which is one of the harlot's
methods of advertising, let us recall the words, that these represent
the "pestilence which walketh in darkness, the destruction that
wasteth at noonday." The allusion, of course, is to the fact that the
great majority of these harlots are full of loathsome physical and
moral disease; with the face and form of an angel, these women "bite
like a serpent and sting like an adder;" their traffic is not for
life, but inevitably for shame, disease, and death. Betrayed and
seduced themselves, they in their turn betray and curse others.
8. WARNING OTHERS.--Have you never been struck with the argument
of the Apostle, who, warning others from the corrupt example of the
fleshy Esau, said, "Lest there be any fornicator or profane person as
Esau, who for one mess of meat sold his own birthright. For ye know
that even afterward, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he
was rejected, he found no place for repentance, though he sought it
diligently with tears." Terrible and striking words are these. His
birthright sold for a mess of meat. The fearful costs of sin--yes,
that is the thought, particularly the sin of fornication! Engrave that
word upon your memories and hearts--"One mess of meat."
9. THE HARLOT'S MESS OF MEAT.--Remember it, young men, when you are
tempted to this sin. For a few minutes' sensual pleasure, for a mess
of harlot's meat, young men are paying out the love of the son and
brother; they are deceiving, lying, and cheating for a mess of meat;
for a mess, not seldom of putrid flesh, men have paid down purity and
prayer, manliness and godliness; for a mess of meat some perhaps have
donned their best attire, and assumed the manners of the gentleman,
and then, like an infernal hypocrite flogged the steps of maiden or
harlot to satisfy their degrading lust; for a mess of meat young men
have deceived father and mother, and shrunk from the embrace of
love of the pure-minded sister. For the harlot's mess of meat some
listening to me have spent scores of hours of invaluable time. They
have wearied the body, diseased and demoralized the mind. The pocket
has been emptied, theft committed, lies unnumbered told, to play the
part of the harlot's mate--perchance a six-foot fool, dragged into
the filth and mire of the harlot's house. You called her your friend,
when, but for her mess of meat, you would have passed her like dirt in
the street.
10. SEEING LIFE.--You consorted with her for your mutual shame and
death, and then called it "seeing life." Had your mother met you, you
would have shrunk away like a craven cur. Had your sister interviewed
you, she had blushed to bear your name; or had she been seen by you in
company with some other whoremaster, for similar commerce, you would
have wished that she had been dead. Now what think you of this "seeing
life?" And it is for this that tens of thousands of strong men in our
large cities are selling their birthright.
11. THE DEVIL'S DECOYS.--Some may be ready to affirm that physical and
moral penalties do not appear to overtake all men; that many men known
to be given to intemperance and sensuality are strong, well, and live
to a good age. Let us not make any mistake concerning these; they are
exceptions to the rule; the appearance of health in them is but the
grossness of sensuality. You have only carefully to look into the
faces of these men to see that their countenances, eyes, and speech
betray them. They are simply the devil's decoys.
12. GROSSNESS OF SENSUALITY.--The poor degraded harlot draws in the
victims like a heavily charged lodestone; these men are found in large
numbers throughout the entire community; they would make fine men were
they not weighted with the grossness of sensuality; as it is, they
frequent the race-course, the card-table, the drinking-saloon, the
music-hall, and the low theaters, which abound in our cities and
towns; the great majority of these are men of means and leisure.
Idleness is their curse, their opportunity for sin; you may know them
as the loungers over refreshment-bars, as the retailers of the latest
filthy joke, or as the vendors of some disgusting scandal; indeed, it
is appalling the number of these lepers found both in our business and
social circles.
[Illustration: PALESTINE WATER CARRIERS.]
* * * * *
POISONOUS LITERATURE AND BAD PICTURES.
1. OBSCENE LITERATURE.--No other source contributes so much to sexual
immorality as obscene literature. The mass of stories published in the
great weeklies and the cheap novels are mischievous. When the devil
determines to take charge of a young soul, be often employs a
very ingenious method. He slyly hands a little novel filled with
"voluptuous forms," "reclining on bosoms," "languishing eyes," etc.
2. MORAL FORCES.--The world is full of such literature. It is easily
accessible, for it is cheap, and the young will procure it, and
therefore become easy prey to its baneful influence and effects. It
weakens the moral forces of the young, and they thereby fall an easy
prey before the subtle schemes of the libertine.
3. BAD BOOKS.--Bad books play not a small part in the corruption of the
youth. A bad book is as bad as an evil companion. In some respects it
is even worse than a living teacher of vice, since it may cling to an
individual at all times. It will follow him and poison his mind with
the venom of evil. The influence of bad books in making bad boys and
men is little appreciated. Few are aware how much evil seed is being
sown among the young everywhere through the medium of vile books.
4. SENSATIONAL STORY BOOKS.--Much of the evil literature which is sold
in nickel and dime novels, and which constitutes the principal part
of the contents of such papers as the "Police Gazette," the "Police
News," and a large proportion of the sensational story books which
flood the land. You might better place a coal of fire or a live viper
in your bosom, than allow yourself to read such a book. The thoughts
that are implanted in the mind in youth will often stick there through
life, in spite of all efforts to dislodge them.
5. PAPERS AND MAGAZINES.--Many of the papers and magazines sold at
our news stands, and eagerly sought after by young men and boys, are
better suited for the parlors of a house of ill-fame than for the
eyes of pure-minded youth. A newsdealer who will distribute such vile
sheets ought to be dealt with as an educator in vice and crime, an
agent of evil, and a recruiting officer of hell and perdition.
6. SENTIMENTAL LITERATURE OF LOW FICTION.--Sentimental literature,
whether impure in its subject matter or not, has a direct tendency in
the direction of impurity. The stimulation of the emotional nature,
the instilling of sentimental ideas into the minds of the young, has
a tendency to turn the thoughts into a channel which leads in the
direction of the formation of vicious habits.
7. IMPRESSIONS LEFT BY READING QUESTIONABLE LITERATURE.--It is
painful to see strong intelligent men and youths reading bad books,
or feasting their eyes on filthy pictures, for the practice is sure
to affect their personal purity. Impressions will be left which cannot
fail to breed a legion of impure thoughts, and in many instances
criminal deeds. Thousands of elevator boys, clerks, students,
traveling men, and others, patronize the questionable literature
counter to an alarming extent.
8. THE NUDE IN ART.--For years there has been a great craze after
the nude in art, and the realistic in literature. Many art galleries
abound in pictures and statuary which cannot fail to fan the fires
of sensualism, unless the thoughts of the visitor are trained to the
strictest purity. Why should artists and sculptors persist in shocking
the finer sensibilities of old and young of both sexes by crowding
upon their view representations of naked human forms in attitudes of
luxurious abandon? Public taste may demand it. But let those who have
the power endeavor to reform public taste.
9. WIDELY DIFFUSED.--Good men have ever lamented the pernicious
influence of a depraved and perverted literature. But such literature
has never been so systematically and widely diffused as at the present
time. This is owing to two causes, its cheapness and the facility of
conveyance.
10. INFLAME THE PASSIONS.--A very large proportion of the works thus
put in circulation are of the worst character, tending to corrupt
the principles, to inflame the passions, to excite impure desire,
and spread a blight over all the powers of the soul. Brothels are
recruited from this more than any other source. Those who search the
trunks of convicted criminals are almost sure to find in them one of
more of these works; and few prisoners who can read at all fail to
enumerate among the causes which led them into crime the unhealthy
stimulus of this depraved and poisonous literature.
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
* * * * *
STARTLING SINS.
1. NAMELESS CRIMES.--The nameless crimes identified with the hushed-up
Sodomite cases; the revolting condition of the school of Sodomy; the
revelations of the Divorce Court concerning the condition of what is
called national nobility, and upper classes, as well as the unclean
spirit which attaches to "society papers," has revealed a condition
which is perfectly disgusting.
2. UNFAITHFULNESS.--Unfaithfulness amongst husbands and wives in the
upper classes is common and adultery rife everywhere; mistresses are
kept in all directions; thousands of these rich men have at least two,
and not seldom three establishments.
3. A FRIGHTFUL INCREASE.--Facts which have come to light during
the past ten years show a frightful increase in every form of
licentiousness; the widely extended area over which whoredom and
degrading lust have thrown the glamor of their fascinating toils is
simply appalling.
4. MORAL CARNAGE.--We speak against the fearful moral carnage; would
to God that some unmistakable manifestation of the wrath of God
should come in and put a stop to this huge seed-plot of national
demoralization! We are reaping in this disgusting center the harvest
of corruption which has come from the toleration and encouragements
given by the legislature, the police, and the magistrates to
immorality, vice and sin; the awful fact is that we are in the midst
of the foul and foetid harvest of lust. Aided by some of the most
exalted personages in the land, assisted by thousands of educated
and wealthy whoremongers and adulterers, we are reaping also, in
individual physical ugliness and deformity, that which has been sown;
the puny, ill-formed and mentally weak youths and maidens, men and
women, to be seen in large numbers in our principal towns and cities,
represent the widespread nature of the curse, which has, in a marked
manner, impaired the physique, the morality, and the intelligence of
the nation.
5. DAILY PRESS.--The daily press has not had the moral courage to
say one word; the quality of demoralizing novels such as have been
produced from the impure brain and unclean imaginations; the subtle,
clever and fascinating undermining of the white-winged angel of purity
by modern sophists, whose purient and vicious volumes were written to
throw a halo of charm and beauty about the brilliant courtesan and
the splendid adulteress; the mixing up of lust and love; the making
of corrupt passion to stand in the garb of a deep, lasting, and holy
affection--these are some of the hidious seedlings which, hidden amid
the glamor and fascination of the seeming "angel of light," have to so
large an extent corrupted the morality of the country.
6. NIGHTLY EXHIBITIONS.--Some of you know what the nightly exhibitions
in these garlanded temples of whorish incentive are. There is
the variety theatre with its disgusting ballet dancing, and its
shamelessly indecent photographs exhibited in every direction. What a
clear gain to morality it would be if the accursed houses were burnt
down, and forbidden by law ever to be re-built or re-opened; the
whole scene is designed to act upon and stimulate the lusts and evil
passions of corrupt men and women.
7. CONFIDENCE AND EXPOSURE.--I hear some of you say, cannot some
influence be brought to bear upon this plague-spot? Will the
legislature or congress do nothing? Is the law and moral right to
continue to be trodden under foot? Are the magistrates and the police
powerless? The truth is, the harlots and whoremongers are master of
the situation; the moral sense of the legislators, the magistrates,
and the police is so low that anything like confidence is at present
out of the question.
8. THE SISTERHOOD OF SHAME AND DEATH.--It is enough to make angels
weep to see a great mass of America's wealthy and better-class sons
full of zeal and on fire with interest in the surging hundreds of
the sisterhood of shame and death. Many of these men act as if they
were--if they do not believe they are--dogs. No poor hunted dog in the
streets was ever tracked by a yelping crowd of curs more than is the
fresh girl or chance of a maid in the accursed streets of our large
cities. Price is no object, nor parentage, nor home; it is the truth
to affirm that hundreds and thousands of well-dressed and educated
men come in order to the gratification of their lusts, and to this end
they frequent this whole district; they have reached this stage,
they are being burned up in this fire of lust; men of whom God says,
"Having eyes full of adultery and that cannot cease sin."
9. LAW MAKERS.--Now should any member of the legislature rise up and
testify against this "earthly hell," and speak in defence of the moral
manhood and womanhood of the nation, he would be greeted as a fanatic,
and laughed down amid derisive cheers; such has been the experience
again and again. Therefore attack this great stronghold which for the
past thirty years has warred and is warring against our social manhood
and womanhood, and constantly undermining the moral life of the
nation; against this citadel of licentiousness, this metropolitan
centre of crime, and vice, and sin, direct your full blast of
righteous and manly indignation.
10. TEMPLES OF LUST.--Here stand the foul and splendid temples of
lust, intemperance, and passion, into whose vortex tens of thousands
of our sons and daughters are constantly being drawn. Let it be
remembered that this whole area represents the most costly conditions,
and proves beyond Question that an enormous proportion of the wealthy
manhood of the nation, and we as citizens sustain, partake, and share
in this carnival of death. Is it any wonder that the robust type
of godly manhood which used to be found in the legislature is sadly
wanting now, or that the wretched caricatures of manhood which find
form and place in such papers as "Truth" and the "World" are accepted
as representing "modern society?"
11. PURITANIC MANHOOD.--It is a melancholy fact that, by reason of
uncleanness, we have almost lost regard for the type of puritanic
manhood which in the past held aloft the standard of a chaste and
holy life; such men in this day are spoken of as "too slow" as
"weak-kneed," and "goody-goody" men. Let me recall that word, the
fast and indecently-dressed "things," the animals of easy virtue, the
"respectable" courtesans that flirt, chaff, gamble, and waltz
with well-known high-class licentious lepers--such is the ideal of
womanhood which a large proportion of our large city society accepts,
fawns upon, and favors.
[Illustration]
12. SHAMEFUL CONDITIONS.--Perhaps one of the most inhuman and shameful
conditions of modern fashionable society, both in England and America,
is that which wealthy men and women who are married destroy their own
children in the embryo stage of being, and become murderers thereby.
This is done to prevent what should become one of our chief glories,
viz., large and well-developed [Transcriber's note: the text appears
to read "home" but it is unclear] and family life.
* * * * *
THE PROSTITUTION OF MEN.
CAUSE AND REMEDY.
1. EXPOSED YOUTH.--Generally even in the beginning of the period when
sexual uneasiness begins to show itself in the boy, he is exposed in
schools, institutes, and elsewhere to the temptations of secret
vice, which is transmitted from youth to youth, like a contagious
corruption, and which in thousands destroys the first germs of
virility. Countless numbers of boys are addicted to these vices for
years. That they do not in the beginning of nascent puberty proceed to
sexual intercourse with women, is generally due to youthful timidity,
which dares not reveal its desire, or from want of experience for
finding opportunities. The desire is there, for the heart is already
corrupted.
2. BOYHOOD TIMIDITY OVERCOME.--Too often a common boy's timidity is
overcome by chance or by seduction, which is rarely lacking in great
cities where prostitution is flourishing, and thus numbers of boys
immediately after the transition period of youth, in accordance with
the previous secret practice, accustom themselves to the association
with prostitute women, and there young manhood and morals are soon
lost forever.
3. MARRIAGE-BED RESOLUTIONS.--Most men of the educated classes enter
the marriage-bed with the consciousness of leaving behind them a whole
army of prostitutes or seduced women, in whose arms they cooled their
passions and spent the vigor of their youth. But with such a past the
married man does not at the same time leave behind him its influence
on his inclinations. The habit of having a feminine being at his
disposal for every rising appetite, and the desire for change
inordinately indulged for years, generally make themselves felt again
as soon as the honeymoon is over. Marriage will not make a morally
corrupt man all at once a good man and a model husband.
4. THE INJUSTICE OF MAN.--Now, although many men are in a certain
sense "not worthy to unloose the latchet of the shoes" of the
commonest woman, much less to "unfasten her girdle," yet they make
the most extravagant demands on the feminine sex. Even the greatest
debauchee, who has spent his vigor in the arms of a hundred
courtesans, will cry out fraud and treachery if he does not receive
his newly married bride as an untouched virgin. Even the most
dissolute husband will look on his wife as deserving of death if his
daily infidelity is only once reciprocated.
5. UNJUST DEMANDS.--The greater the injustice a husband does to his
wife, the less he is willing to submit to from her; the oftener he
becomes unfaithful to her, the stricter he is in demanding
faithfulness from her. We see that despotism nowhere denies its own
nature: the more a despot deceives and abuses his people, the more
submissiveness and faithfulness he demands of them.
6. SUFFERING WOMEN.--Who can be astonished at the many unhappy
marriages, if he knows how unworthy most men are of their wives? Their
virtues they rarely can appreciate, and their vices they generally
call out by their own. Thousands of women suffer from the results of
a mode of life of which they, having remained pure in their thought,
have no conception whatever; and many an unsuspecting wife nurses her
husband with tenderest care in sicknesses which are nothing more than
the consequences of his amours with other women.
7. AN INHUMAN CRIMINAL.--When at last, after long years of delusion
and endurance, the scales drop from the eyes of the wife, and revenge
or despair drives her into a hostile position towards her lord and
master, she is an inhuman criminal, and the hue and cry against the
fickleness of women and the falsity of their nature is endless. Oh,
the injustice of society and the injustice of cruel man. Is there no
relief for helpless women that are bound by the ties of marriage to
men who are nothing but rotten corruption?
8. VULGAR DESIRE.--The habit of regarding the end and aim of woman
only from the most vulgar side--not to respect in her the noble human
being, but to see in her only the instrument of sensual desire--is
carried so far among men that they will allow it to force into the
background considerations among themselves, which they otherwise
pretend to rank very high.
9. THE ONLY REMEDY.--But when the feeling of women has once been
driven to indignation with respect to the position which they
occupy, it is to be hoped that they will compel men to be pure before
marriage, and they will remain loyal after marriage.
10. WORSE THAN SAVAGES.--With all our civilization we are put to shame
even by the savages. The savages know of no fastidiousness of the
sexual instinct and of no brothels. We are, indeed, likewise savages,
but in quite a different sense. Proof of this is especially furnished
by our youth. But that our students, and young men in general, usually
pass through the school of corruption and drag the filth of the road
which they have traversed before marriage along with them throughout
life, is not their fault so much as the fault of prejudices and of our
political and social conditions that prohibits a proper education, and
the placing of the right kind of literature on these subjects into the
hands of young people.
[Illustration]
11. REASON AND REMEDY.--Keep the youth pure by a thorough system
of plain unrestricted training. The seeds of immorality are sown in
youth, and the secret vice eats out their young manhood often before
the age of puberty. They develop a bad character as they grow older.
Young girls are ruined, and licentiousness and prostitution flourish.
Keep the boys pure and the harlot would soon lose her vocation.
Elevate the morals of the boys, and you will have pure men and moral
husbands.
[Illustration: SUICIDE LAKE.]
* * * * *
THE ROAD TO SHAME.
1. INSULT TO MOTHER OR SISTER.--Young men, it can never tinder any
circumstances be right for you to do to a woman that, which, if
another man did to your mother or sister, you could never forgive!
The very thought is revolting. Let us suppose a man guilty of this
shameful sin, and I apprehend that each of us would feel ready to
shoot the villain. We are not justifying the shooting, but appealing
to your instinctive sense of right, in order to show the enormity
of this fearful crime, and to fasten strong conviction in your mind
against this sin.
2. A RUINED SISTER.--What would you think of a man, no matter what his
wealth, culture, or gentlemanly bearing, who should lay himself out
for the seduction and shame of your beloved sister? Her very name now
reminds you of the purest affection: think of her, if you can bear it,
ruined in character, and soon to become an unhappy mother. To whom can
you introduce her? What can you say concerning her? How can her own
brothers and sisters associate with her? and, mark! all this personal
and relative misery caused by this genteel villain's degrading
passion.
3. YOUNG MAN LOST.--Another terrible result of this sin is the
practical overthrow of natural affection which it effects. A young man
comes from his father's house to Chicago. Either through his own
lust or through the corrupt companions that he finds in the house of
business where he resides, he becomes the companion of lewd women. The
immediate result is a bad conscience, a sense of shame, and a breach
in the affections of home. Letters are less frequent, careless, and
brief. He cannot manifest true love now. He begins to shrink from his
sister and mother, and well he may.
4. THE HARLOT'S INFLUENCE.--He has spent the strength of his affection
and love for home. In their stead the wretched harlot has filled him
with unholy lust. His brain and heart refuse to yield him the love of
the son and brother. His hand can not write as aforetime, or at
best, his expressions become a hypocritical pretence. Fallen into
the degradation of the fornicator, he has changed a mother's love and
sister's affection for the cursed fellowship of the woman "whose house
is the way to hell." (Prov. VII. 27.)
5. THE WAY OF DEATH.--Observe, that directly the law of God is broken,
and wherever promiscuous intercourse between the sexes takes place,
gonorrhoea, syphilis, and every other form of venereal disease is
seen in hideous variety. It is only true to say that thousands of both
sexes are slain annually by these horrible diseases. What must be
the moral enormity of a sin, which, when committed, produces in vast
numbers of cases such frightful physical and moral destruction as that
which is here portrayed?
6. A HARLOT'S WOES.--Would to God that something might be done to
rescue fallen women from their low estate. We speak of them as "fallen
women". Fallen, indeed, they are, but surely not more deserving of the
application of that term than the "fallen men" who are their partners
and paramours. It is easy to use the words "a fallen woman," but who
can apprehend all that is involved in the expression, seeing
that every purpose for which God created woman is prostituted and
destroyed? She is now neither maiden, wife, nor mother; the sweet
names of sister and betrothed can have no legitimate application in
her case.
7. THE PENALTIES FOR LOST VIRTUE.--Can the harlot be welcomed where
either children, brothers, sisters, wife, or husband are found?
Surely, no. Home is a sphere alien to the harlot's estate. See such
an one wherever you may--she is a fallen outcast from woman's high
estate. Her existence--for she does not live--now culminates in one
dread issue, viz., prostitution. She sleeps, but awakes a harlot. She
rises in the late morning hours, but her object is prostitution; she
washes, dresses, and braids her hair, but it is with one foul purpose
before her. To this end she eats, drinks, and is clothed. To this end
her house is hidden and the blinds are drawn.
8. LOST FOREVER.--To this end she applies the unnatural cosmetique,
and covers herself with sweet perfumes, which vainly try to hide her
disease and shame. To this end she decks herself with dashing finery
and tawdry trappings, and with bold, unwomanly mien essays the streets
of the great city. To this end she is loud and coarse and impudent.
To this end she is the prostituted "lady," with simpering words, and
smiles, and glamour of refined deceit. To this end an angel face, a
devil in disguise. There is one foul and ghastly purpose towards which
all her energies now tend. So low has she fallen, so lost is she to
all the design of woman, that she exists for one foul purpose only,
viz., to excite, stimulate, and gratify the lusts of degraded, ungodly
men. Verily, the word "prostitute" has an awful meaning. What plummet
can sound the depths of a woman's fall who has become a harlot?
9. SOUND THE ALARM.--Remember, young man, you can never rise above the
degradation of the companionship of lewd women. Your virtue once lost
is lost forever. Remember, young woman, your wealth or riches is your
good name and good character--you have nothing else. Give a man your
virtue and he will forsake you, and you will be forsaken by all the
world. Remember that purity of purpose brings nobility of character,
and an honorable life is the joy and security of mankind.
[Illustration: THE GREAT PHILANTHROPIST.]
* * * * *
THE CURSE OF MANHOOD.
1. MORAL LEPERS.--We cannot but denounce, in the strongest terms,
the profligacy of many married men. Not content with the moderation
permitted in the divine appointed relationship of marriage, they
become adulterers, in order to gratify their accursed lust. The man in
them is trodden down by the sensual beast which reigns supreme.
These are the moral outlaws that make light of this scandalous social
iniquity, and by their damnable example encourage young men to sin.
2. A SAD CONDITION.--It is constantly affirmed by prostitutes, that
amongst married men are found their chief supporters. Evidence
from such a quarter must be received with considerable caution.
Nevertheless, we believe that there is much truth in this statement.
Here, again, we lay the ax to the root of the tree; the married man
who dares affirm that there is a particle of physical necessity for
this sin, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. Whether these men be
princes, peers, legislators, professional men, mechanics, or workmen,
they are moral pests, a scandal to the social state, and a curse to
the nation.
3. EXCESSES.--Many married men exhaust themselves by these excesses;
they become irritable, liable to cold, to rheumatic affections, and
nervous depression. They find themselves weary when they rise in
the morning. Unfitted for close application to business, they become
dilatory and careless, often lapsing into entire lack of energy,
and not seldom into the love of intoxicating stimulants. Numbers of
husbands and wives entering upon these experiences lose the charm
of health, the cheerfulness of life and converse. Home duties become
irksome to the wife; the brightness, vivacity, and bloom natural
to her earlier years, decline; she is spoken of as highly nervous,
poorly, and weak, when the whole truth is that she is suffering
from physical exhaustion which she cannot bear. Her features become
angular, her hair prematurely gray, she rapidly settles down into the
nervous invalid, constantly needing medical aid, and, if possible,
change of air.
4. IGNORANCE.--These conditions are brought about in many cases
through ignorance on the part of those who are married. Multitudes of
men have neither read, heard, nor known the truth of this question.
We sympathize with our fellow-men in this, that we have been left in
practical ignorance concerning the exceeding value and legitimate uses
of these functions of our being. Some know, that, had they known these
things in the early days of their married life, it would have proved
to them knowledge of exceeding value. If this counsel is followed,
thousands of homes will scarcely know the need of the physician's
presence.
5. ANIMAL PASSION.--Commonsense teaches that children who are begotten
in the heat of animal passion, are likely to be licentious when they
grow up. Many parents through excesses of eating and drinking,
become inflamed with wine and strong drink. They are sensualists, and
consequently, morally diseased. Now, if in such conditions men beget
their children, who can affect surprise if they develop licentious
tendencies? Are not such parents largely to blame? Are they not
criminals in a high degree? Have they not fouled their own nest, and
transmitted to their children predisposition to moral evil?
6. FAST YOUNG MEN.--Many of our "fast young men" have been thus
corrupted, even as the children of the intemperate are proved to have
been. Certainly no one can deny that many of our "well-bred" young
men are little better than "high-class dogs" so lawless are they, and
ready for the arena of licentiousness.
7. THE PURE-MINDED WIFE.--Happily, as tens of thousands of husbands
can testify, the pure-minded wife and mother is not carried away, as
men are liable to be, with the force of animal passion. Were it not
so, the tendencies to licentiousness in many sons would be stronger
than they are. In the vast majority of cases suggestion is never made
except by the husband, and it is a matter of deepest gratitude and
consideration, that the true wife may become a real helpmeet in
restraining this desire in the husband.
8. YOUNG WIFE AND CHILDREN.--We often hear it stated that a young wife
has her children quickly. This cannot happen to the majority of women
without injury to health and jeopardy to life. The law which rendered
it imperative for the land to lie fallow in order to rest and gain
renewed strength, is only another illustration of the unity which
pervades physical conditions everywhere. It should be known that if
a mother nurses her own babe, and the child is not weaned until it
is nine or ten months old, the mother, except in rare cases, will
not become enceinte again, though cohabitation with the husband takes
place.
9. SELFISH AND UNNATURAL CONDUCT.--It is natural and rational that
a mother should feed her own children; in the selfish and unnatural
conduct of many mothers, who, to avoid the self-denial and patience
which are required, hand the little one over to the wet-nurse, or to
be brought up by hand, is found in many cases the cause and reason of
the unnatural haste of child-bearing. Mothers need to be taught that
the laws of nature cannot be broken without penalty. For every woman
whose health has been weakened through nursing her child, a hundred
have lost strength and health through marital excesses. The haste of
having children is the costly penalty which women pay for shirking the
mother's duty to the child.
10. LAW OF GOD.--So graciously has the law of God been arranged in
regard to the mother's strength, that, if it be obeyed, there will be,
as a rule, an interval of at least from eighteen months to two years
between the birth of one child and that of another. Every married
man should abstain during certain natural seasons. In this periodical
recurrance God has instituted to every husband the law of restraint,
and insisted upon self-control.
11. TO YOUNG PEOPLE WHO ARE MARRIED.--Be exceedingly careful of
license and excess in your intercourse with one another. Do not
needlessly expose, by undress, the body. Let not the purity of love
degenerate into unholy lust! See to it that you walk according to the
divine Word. "Dwelling together as being heirs of the grace of life,
that your prayers be not hindered."
12. LOST POWERS.--Many young men after their union showed a marked
difference. They lost much of their natural vivacity, energy, and
strength of voice. Their powers of application, as business men,
students, and ministers, had declined, as also their enterprise,
fervor, and kindliness. They had become irritable, dull, pale, and
complaining. Many cases of rheumatic fever have been induced through
impoverishment, caused by excesses on the part of young married men.
13. MIDDLE AGE.--After middle age the sap of a man's life declines
in quantity. A man who intends close application to the ministry, to
scientific or literary pursuits, where great demands are made upon
the brain, must restrain this passion. The supplies for the brain
and nervous system are absorbed, and the seed diverted through sexual
excesses in the marriage relationship, by fornication, or by any other
form of immorality, the man's power must decline: that to this very
cause may be attributed the failure and breakdown of so many men of
middle age.
14. INTOXICATING DRINKS.--By all means avoid intoxicating drinks.
Immorality and alcoholic stimulants, as we have shown, are intimately
related to one another. Wine and strong drink inflame the blood, and
heat the passions. Attacking the brain, they warp the judgment, and
weaken the power of restraint. Avoid what is called good living: it is
madness to allow the pleasures of the table to corrupt and corrode the
human body. We are not designed for gourmands, much less for educated
pigs. Cold water bathing, water as a beverage, simple and wholesome
food, regularity of sleep, plenty of exercise; games such as cricket,
football, tennis, boating, or bicycling, are among the best possible
preventives against lust and animal passion.
15. BEWARE OF IDLENESS.--Indolent leisure means an unoccupied mind.
When young men lounge along the streets, in this condition they become
an easy prey to the sisterhood of shame and death. Bear in mind that
evil thoughts precede evil actions. The hand of the worst thief will
not steal until the thief within operates upon the hand without. The
members of the body which are capable of becoming instruments of sin,
are not involuntary actors. Lustful desires must proceed from brain
and heart, ere the fire that consumes burns in the member.
[Illustration: YOUNG LINCOLN STARTING TO SCHOOL.]
* * * * *
A PRIVATE TALK TO YOUNG MEN.
1. The most valuable and useful organs of the body are those which are
capable of the greatest dishonor, abuse and corruption. What a snare
the wonderful organism of the eye may become when used to read corrupt
books or look upon licentious scenes at the theatre, or when used
to meet the fascinating gaze of the harlot! What an instrument for
depraving the whole man may be found in the matchless powers of
the brain, the hand, the ear, the mouth, or the tongue! What potent
instruments may these become in accomplishing the ruin of the whole
being for time and eternity!
2. In like manner the organ concerning the uses of which I am
to speak, has been, and continues to be, made one of the chief
instruments of man's immorality, shame, disease, and death. How
important to know what the legitimate uses of this member of the body
are, and how great the dignity conferred upon us in the possession of
this gift. On the human side this gift may be truly said to bring men
nearer to the high and solemn relationship of the Creator than any
other which they possess.
3. I first deal with the destructive sin of self-abuse. There can be
little doubt that vast numbers of boys are guilty of this practice.
In many cases the degrading habit has been taught by others, e.g.,
by elder boys at school, where association largely results in mutual
corruption. With others, the means of sensual gratification is found
out by personal action; whilst in other cases fallen and depraved men
have not hesitated to debauch the minds of mere children by teaching
them this debasing practice.
4. Thousands of youths and young men have only to use the
looking-glass to see the portrait of one guilty of this loathsome sin.
The effects are plainly discernible in the boy's appearance. The
face and hands become pale and bloodless. The eye is destitute of its
natural fire and lustre. The flesh is soft and flabby, the muscles
limp and lacking healthy firmness. In cases where the habit has become
confirmed, and where the system has been drained of this vital force,
it is seen in positive ugliness, in a pale and cadaverous appearance,
slovenly gait, slouching walk, and an impaired memory.
5. It is obvious that if the most vital physical force of a boy's life
is being spent through this degrading habit--a habit, be it observed,
of rapid growth, great strength, and difficult to break--he must
develop badly. In thousands of cases the result is seen in a low
stature, contracted chest, weak lungs, and liability to sore throat.
Tendency to cold, indigestion, depression, drowsiness, and idleness,
are results distinctly traceable to this deadly practice. Pallor
of countenance, nervous and rheumatic affections, loss of memory,
epilepsy, paralysis, and insanity find their principal predisposing
cause in the same shameful waste of life. The want of moral force and
strength of mind often observable in youths and young men is largely
induced by this destructive and deadly sin.
6. Large numbers of youths pass from an exhausted boyhood into the
weakness, intermittent fevers, and consumption, which are said to
carry off so many. If the deaths were attributed primarily to loss
of strength occasioned by self-pollution, it would be much nearer the
truth. It is monstrous to suppose that a boy who comes from healthy
parents should decline and die. Without a shade of doubt the chief
cause of decay and death amongst youths and young men, is to be traced
to this baneful habit.
7. It is a well-known fact that any man who desires to excel and
retain his excellence as an accurate shot, an oarsman, a pedestrian,
a pugilist, a first-class cricketer, bicyclist, student, artist,
or literary man, must abstain from self-pollution and fornication.
Thousands of school boys and students lose their positions in the
class, and are plucked at the time of their examination by reason
of failure of memory, through lack of nerve and vital force, caused
mainly by draining the physical frame of the seed which is the vigor
of the life.
8. It is only true to say that thousands of young men in the early
stages of a licentious career would rather lose a right hand than have
their mothers or sisters know what manner of men they are. From the
side of the mothers and sisters it may also be affirmed that, were
they aware of the real character of those brothers and sons, they
would wish that they had never been born.
9. Let it be remembered that sexual desire is not in itself
dishonorable or sinful, any more than hunger, thirst, or any other
lawful and natural desire is. It is the gratification by unlawful
means of this appetite which renders it so corrupting and iniquitous.
10. Leisure means the opportunity to commit sin. Unclean pictures are
sought after and feasted upon, paragraphs relating to cases of
divorce and seduction are eagerly read, papers and books of an
immoral character and tendency greedily devoured, low and disgusting
conversation indulged in and repeated.
11. The practical and manly counsel to every youth and young man is,
entire abstinence from indulgence of the sexual faculty until such
time as the marriage relationship is entered upon. Neither is there,
nor can there be, any exception to this rule.
12. No man can affirm that self-denial ever injured him. On the
contrary, self-restraint has been liberty, strength and blessing.
Beware of the deceitful streams of temporary gratification, whose
eddying current drifts towards license, shame, disease and death.
Remember, how quickly moral power declines, how rapidly the edge of
the fatal maelstrom is reached, how near the vortex, how terrible the
penalty, how fearful the sentence of everlasting punishment.
13. Be a young man of principle, honor, and preserve your powers. How
can you look an innocent girl in the face when you are degrading your
manhood with the vilest practice? Keep your mind and life pure and
nobility will be your crown.
* * * * *
REMEDIES FOR THE SOCIAL EVIL.
1. MAN RESPONSIBLE.--Every great social reform must begin with the
male sex. They must either lead, or give it its support. Prostitution
is a sin wholly of their own making. All the misery, all the lust, as
well as all the blighting consequences, are chargeable wholly to
the uncontrolled sexual passion of the male. To reform sinful women,
_reform the men_. Teach them that the physiological truth means
permanent moral, physical and mental benefit, while seductive
indulgence blights and ruins.
2. CONTAGIOUS DISEASES.--A man or woman cannot long live an impure
life without sooner or later contracting disease which brings to
every sufferer not only moral degradation, but often serious and vital
injuries and many times death itself becomes the only relief.
3. SHOULD IT BE REGULATED BY LAW?--Dr. G.J. Ziegler, of Philadelphia,
in several medical articles says that the act of sexual connection
should be made in itself the solemnization of marriage, and that when
any such single act can be proven against an unmarried man, by an
unmarried woman, the latter be at once invested with all the legal
privileges of a wife. By bestowing this power on women very few men
would risk the dangers of the society of a dissolute and scheming
woman who might exercise the right to force him to a marriage and ruin
his reputation and life. The strongest objection of this would be
that it would increase the temptation to destroy the purity of married
women, for they could be approached without danger of being forced
into another marriage. But this objection could easily be harmonized
with a good system of well regulated laws. Many means have been tried
to mitigate the social evils, but with little encouragement. In the
city of Paris a system of registration has been inaugurated and
houses of prostitution are under the supervision of the police, yet
prostitution has not been in any degree diminished. Similar methods
have been tried in other European towns, but without satisfactory
results.
4. MORAL INFLUENCE.--Let it be an imperative to every clergyman, to
every educator, to every statesman and to every philanthropist, to
every father and to every mother, to impart that moral influence which
may guide and direct the youth of the land into the natural channels
of morality, chastity and health. Then, and not till then, shall
we see righteous laws and rightly enforced for the mitigation and
extermination of the modern house of prostitution.
[Illustration: A TURKISH CIGARETTE GIRL.]
* * * * *
THE SELFISH SLAVES OF DOSES OF DISEASE AND DEATH.
1. MOST DEVILISH INTOXICATION.--What is the most devilish, subtle
alluring, unconquerable, hopeless and deadly form of intoxication,
with which science struggles and to which it often succumbs; which
eludes the restrictive grasp of legislation; lurks behind lace
curtains, hides in luxurious boudoirs, haunts the solitude of the
study, and with waxen face, furtive eyes and palsied step totters to
the secret recesses of its self-indulgence? It is the drunkenness
of drugs, and woe be unto him that crosseth the threshold of its
dream-curtained portal, for though gifted with the strength of Samson,
the courage of Richard and the genius of Archimedes, he shall never
return, and of him it is written that forever he leaves hope behind.
2. THE MATERIAL SATAN.--The material Satan in this sensuous syndicate
of soul and body-destroying drugs is opium, and next in order of
hellish potency come cocaine and chloral.
3. GUM OPIUM.--Gum opium, from which the sulphate of morphine is made,
is the dried juice of the poppy, and is obtained principally in the
orient. Taken in moderate doses it acts specially upon the nervous
system, deadens sensibility, and the mind becomes inactive. When used
habitually and excessively it becomes a tonic, which stimulates the
whole nervous system, producing intense mental exaltation and delusive
visions. When the effects wear off, proportionate lassitude follows,
which begets an insatiate and insane craving for the drug. Under the
repeated strain of the continually increasing doses, which have to be
taken to renew the desired effect, the nervous system finally becomes
exhausted, and mind and body are utterly and hopelessly wrecked.
4. COCAINE.--Cocaine is extracted from the leaves of the Peruvian
cocoa tree, and exerts a decided influence upon the nervous system,
somewhat akin to that of coffee. It increases the heart action and
is said to be such an exhilarant that the natives of the Andes are
enabled to make extra-ordinary forced marches by chewing the leaves
containing it. Its after effects are more depressing even than those
of opium, and insanity more frequently results from its use.
5. CHLORAL.--The name which is derived from the first two syllables
of chlorine and alcohol, is made by passing dry chlorine gas in a
continuous stream through absolute alcohol for six or eight weeks. It
is a hypnotic or sleep-producing drug, and in moderate doses acts on
the caliber of the blood vessels of the brain, producing a soothing
effect, especially in cases of passive congestion. Some patent
medicines contain chloral, bromide and hyoseamus, and they have a
large sale, being bought by persons of wealth, who do not know what
they are composed of and recklessly take them for the effect they
produce.
6. VICTIMS RAPIDLY INCREASING.--"From my experience," said a leading
and conservative druggist, "I infer that the number of what are termed
opium, cocaine, and chloral "fiends" is rapidly increasing, and is
greater by two or three hundred percent than a year ago, with twice
as many women as men represented. I should say that one person out
of every fifty is a victim of this frightful habit, which claims its
doomed votaries from the extremes of social life, those who have the
most and the least to live for, the upper classes and the cyprian,
professional men of the finest intelligence, fifty per cent. of whom
are doctors and walk into the pit with eyes wide open. And lawyers and
other professional men must be added to this fated vice."
7. DESTROYS THE MORAL FIBER.--"It is a habit which utterly destroys
the moral fiber of its slaves, and makes unmitigated liars and thieves
and forgers of them, and even murder might be added to the list of
crimes, were no other road left open to the gratification of its
insatiate and insane appetite. I do not know of a single case in which
it has been mastered, but I do know of many where the end has been
unspeakable misery, disgrace, suffering, insanity and death."
8. SHAMEFUL DEATH.--To particularize further would be profitless so
far as the beginners are concerned, but would to heaven that those not
within the shadow of this shameful death would take warning from those
who are. There are no social or periodical drunkards in this sort
of intoxication. The vice is not only solitary, unsocial and utterly
selfish, but incessant and increasing in its demands.
9. APPETITE STRONGER THAN FOR LIQUOR.--This appetite is far stronger
and more uncontrollable than that for liquor, and we can spot its
victim as readily as though he were an ordinary bummer. He has a
pallid complexion, a shifting, shuffling manner and can't look you
in the face. If you manage to catch his eye for an instant you will
observe that its pupil is contracted to an almost invisible point. It
is no exaggeration to say that he would barter his very soul for that
which indulgence has made him too poor to purchase, and where artifice
fails he will grovel in abject agony of supplication for a few grains.
At the same time he resorts to all kinds of miserable and transparent
shifts, to conceal his degradation. He never buys for himself, but
always for some fictitious person, and often resorts to purchasing
from distant points.
10. OPIUM SMOKING.--"Opium smoking," said another representative
druggist, "is almost entirely confined to the Chinese and they seem to
thrive on it. Very few others hit the pipe that we know of."
11. MALT AND ALCOHOLIC DRUNKENNESS.--Alcoholic stimulants have a
record of woe second to nothing. Its victims are annually marching
to drunkards' graves by the thousands. Drunkards may be divided into
three classes: First, the accidental or social drunkard; second, the
periodical or spasmodic drunkard; and third, the sot.
12. THE ACCIDENTAL OR SOCIAL DRUNKARD is yet on safe ground. He has
not acquired the dangerous craving for liquor. It is only on special
occasions that he yields to excessive indulgence; sometimes in meeting
a friend, or at some political blow-out. On extreme occasions he will
indulge until he becomes a helpless victim, and usually as he grows
older occasions will increase, and step by step he will be lead nearer
to the precipice of ruin.
13. THE PERIODICAL OR SPASMODIC DRUNKARD, with whom it is always
the unexpected which occurs, and who at intervals exacts from his
accumulated capital the usury of as prolonged a spree as his nerves
and stomach will stand. Science is inclined to charitably label this
specimen of man a sort of a physiologic puzzle, to be as much pitied
as blamed. Given the benefit of every doubt, when he starts off on one
of his hilarious tangents, he becomes a howling nuisance; if he has a
family, keeps them continually on the ragged edge of apprehension, and
is unanimously pronounced a "holy terror" by his friends. His life and
future is an uncertainty. He is unreliable and cannot be long trusted.
Total reformation is the only hope, but it rarely is accomplished.
14. THE SOT.--A blunt term that needs no defining, for even the
children comprehend the hopeless degradation it implies. Laws to
restrain and punish him are framed; societies to protect and reform
him are organized, and mostly in vain. He is prone in life's very
gutter; bloated, reeking and polluted with the doggery's slops and
filth. He can fall but a few feet lower, and not until he stumbles
into an unmarked, unhonored grave, where kind mother earth and the
merciful mantle of oblivion will cover and conceal the awful wreck he
made of God's own image. To the casual observer, the large majority of
the community, these three phases, at whose vagaries many laugh, and
over whose consequences millions mourn, comprehend intoxication and
its results, from the filling of the cup to its shattering fall from
the nerveless hand, and this is the end of the matter. Would to God
that it were! for at that it would be bad enough. But it is not, for
wife, children and friends must suffer and drink the cup of trouble
and sorrow to its dregs.
* * * * *
OBJECT LESSONS OF THE EFFECTS OF ALCOHOL AND CIGARETTE SMOKING.
By Prof. George Henkle, who personally made the post-mortem
examinations and drew the following illustrations from the diseased
organs just as they appeared when first taken from the bodies of the
unfortunate victims.
[Illustration: THE STOMACH of an habitual drinker of alcoholic
stimulants, showing the ulcerated condition of the mucous membrane,
incapacitating this important organ for digestive functions.]
[Illustration: THE STOMACH (interior view) of a healthy person with
the first section of the small intestines.]
[Illustration: THE LIVER of a drunkard who died of Cirrhosis of the
liver, also called granular liver, or "gin drinker's liver." The organ
is much shrunken and presents rough, uneven edges, with carbuncular
non-suppurative sores. In this self-inflicted disease the tissues
of the liver undergo a cicatrical retraction which strangulates and
partly destroys the parenchyma of the liver.]
[Illustration: THE LIVER IN HEALTH.]
[Illustration: THE KIDNEY of a man who died a drunkard, showing in
upper portion the sores so often found on kidneys of hard drinkers,
and in the lower portion, the obstruction formed in the internal
arrangement of this organ. Alcohol is a great enemy to the kidneys,
and after this poison has once set in on its destructive course in
these organs no remedial agents are known to exist to stop the already
established disease.]
[Illustration: THE KIDNEY in health, with the lower section removed,
to show the filtering apparatus (Malphigian pyramids). Natural size.]
[Illustration: THE LUNGS AND HEART of a boy who died from the effects
of cigarette smoking, showing the nicotine sediments in lungs and
shrunken condition of the heart.]
[Illustration: THE LUNGS AND HEART IN HEALTH.]
[Illustration: A section of the diseased Lung of a cigarette smoker,
highly magnified.]
* * * * *
THE DESTRUCTIVE EFFECTS OF CIGARETTE SMOKING.
Cigarettes have been analyzed, and the most physicians and chemists
were surprised to find how much opium is put into them. A tobacconist
himself says that "the extent to which drugs are used in cigarettes
is appalling." "Havana flavoring" for this same purpose is sold
everywhere by the thousand barrels. This flavoring is made from the
tonka-bean, which contains a deadly poison. The wrappers, warranted
to be rice paper, are sometimes made of common paper, and sometimes of
the filthy scrapings of ragpickers bleached white with arsenic. What a
thing for human lungs.
The habit burns up good health, good resolutions, good manners, good
memories, good faculties, and often honesty and truthfulness as well.
Cases of epilepsy, insanity and death are frequently reported as
the result of smoking cigarettes, while such physicians as Dr. Lewis
Sayre, Dr. Hammond, and Sir Morell Mackenzie of England, name heart
trouble, blindness, cancer and other diseases as occasioned by it.
Leading physicians of America unanimously condemn cigarette smoking
as "one of the vilest and most destructive evils that ever befell
the youth of any country," declaring that "its direct tendency is a
deterioration of the race."
Look at the pale, wilted complexion of a boy who indulges to excessive
cigarette smoking. It takes no physician to diagnose his case, and
death will surely mark for his own every boy and young man who will
follow up the habit. It is no longer a matter of guess. It is a
scientific fact which the microscope in every case verifies.
[Illustration: _Illustrating the shrunken condition of one of the
Lungs of an excessive smoker_]
[Illustration: INNOCENT YOUTH.]
* * * * *
The Dangerous Vices.
Few persons are aware of the extent to which masturbation or
self-pollution is practiced by the young of both sexes in civilized
society.
SYMPTOMS.
The hollow, sunken eye, the blanched cheek, the withered hands, and
emaciated frame, and the listless life, have other sources than the
ordinary illnesses of all large communities.
When a child, after having given proofs of memory and intelligence,
experiences daily more and more difficulty in retaining and
understanding what is taught him, it is not only from unwillingness
and idleness, as is commonly supposed, but from a disease eating out
life itself, brought on by a self-abuse of the private organs.
Besides the slow and progressive derangement of his or her health, the
diminished energy of application, the languid movement, the stooping
gait, the desertion of social games, the solitary walk, late rising,
livid and sunken eye, and many other symptoms, will fix the attention
of every intelligent and competent guardian of youth that something is
wrong.
[Illustration: GUARD WELL THE CRADLE. EDUCATION CANNOT BEGIN TOO
YOUNG.]
MARRIED PEOPLE.
Nor are many persons sufficiently aware of the ruinous extent to which
the amative propensity is indulged by married persons. The matrimonial
ceremony does, indeed, sanctify the act of sexual intercourse, but it
can by no means atone for nor obviate the consequences of its abuse.
Excessive indulgence in the married relation is, perhaps, as much
owing to the force of habit, as to the force of the sexual appetite.
EXTREME YOUTH.
More lamentable still is the effect of inordinate sexual excitement of
the young and unmarried. It is not very uncommon to find a confirmed
onanist, or, rather, masturbator, who has not yet arrived at the
period of puberty. Many cases are related in which young boys and
girls, from eight to ten years of age, were taught the method
of self-pollution by their older playmates, and had made serious
encroachments on the fund of constitutional vitality even before any
considerable degree of sexual appetite was developed.
FORCE OF HABIT.
Here, again, the fault was not in the power of passion, but in the
force of habit. Parents and guardians of youth can not be too mindful
of the character and habits of those with whom they allow young
persons and children under their charge to associate intimately, and
especially careful should they be with whom they allow them to sleep.
SIN OF IGNORANCE.
It is customary to designate self-pollution as among the "vices." I
think misfortune is the more appropriate term. It is true, that in the
physiological sense, it is one of the very worst "transgressions of
the law." But in the moral sense it is generally the sin of ignorance
in the commencement, and in the end the passive submission to a morbid
and almost resistless impulse.
QUACKS.
The time has come when the rising generation must be thoroughly
instructed in this matter. That quack specific "ignorance" has been
experimented with quite too long already. The true method of insuring
all persons, young or old, against the abuses of any part, organ,
function, or faculty of the wondrous machinery of life, is to teach
them its use. "Train a child in the way it should go" or be sure it
will, amid the ten thousand surrounding temptations, find out a way
in which it should not go. Keeping a child in ignorant innocence is, I
aver, no part of the "training" which has been taught by a wiser
than Solomon. Boys and girls do know, will know, and must know, that
between them are important anatomical differences and interesting
physiological relations. Teach them, I repeat, their use, or expect
their abuse. Hardly a young person in the world would ever become
addicted to self-pollution if he or she understood clearly the
consequences; if he or she knew at the outset that the practice was
directly destroying the bodily stamina, vitiating the moral tone, and
enfeebling the intellect. No one would pursue the disgusting habit if
he or she was fully aware that it was blasting all prospects of health
and happiness in the approaching period of manhood and womanhood.
GENERAL SYMPTOMS OF THE SECRET HABIT.
The effects of either self-pollution or excessive sexual indulgence,
appear in many forms. It would seem as if God had written an
instinctive law of remonstrance, in the innate moral sense, against
this filthy vice.
All who give themselves up to the excesses of this debasing
indulgence, carry about with them, continually, a consciousness of
their defilement, and cherish a secret suspicion that others look upon
them as debased beings. They feel none of that manly confidence
and gallant spirit, and chaste delight in the presence of virtuous
females, which stimulate young men to pursue the course of ennobling
refinement, and mature them for the social relations and enjoyments of
life.
This shamefacedness, or unhappy quailing of the countenance, on
meeting the look of others, often follows them through life, in some
instances even after they have entirely abandoned the habit, and
became married men and respectable members of society.
In some cases, the only complaint the patient will make on consulting
you, is that he is suffering under a kind of continued fever. He
will probably present a hot, dry skin, with something of a hectic
appearance. Though all the ordinary means of arresting such symptoms
have been tried, he is none the better.
The sleep seems to be irregular and unrefreshing--restlessness
during the early part of the night, and in the advanced stages of
the disease, profuse sweats before morning. There is also frequent
starting in the sleep, from disturbing dreams. The characteristic
feature is, that your patient almost always dreams of sexual
intercourse. This is one of the earliest, as well as most constant
symptoms. When it occurs most frequently, it is apt to be accompanied
with pain. A gleety discharge from the urethra may also be frequently
discovered, especially if the patient examine when at stool or after
urinating. Other common symptoms are nervous headache, giddiness,
ringing in the ears, and a dull pain in the back part of the head.
It is frequently the case that the patient suffers a stiffness in the
neck, darting pains in the forehead, and also weak eyes are among the
common symptoms.
One very frequent, and perhaps early symptom (especially in young
females) is solitariness--a disposition to seclude themselves from
society. Although they may be tolerably cheerful when in company, they
prefer rather to be alone.
The countenance has often a gloomy and worn-down expression. The
patient's friends frequently notice a great change. Large livid spots
under the eyes is a common feature. Sudden flashes of heat may
be noticed passing over the patient's face. He is liable also to
palpitations. The pulse is very variable, generally too slow. Extreme
emaciation, without any other assignable cause for it, may be set down
as another very common symptom.
If the evil has gone on for several years, there will be a general
unhealthy appearance, of a character so marked as to enable an
experienced observer at once to detect the cause. In the case of
onanists especially there is a peculiar rank odor emitted from
the body, by which they may be readily distinguished. One striking
peculiarity of all these patients is, that they cannot look a man in
the face! Cowardice is constitutional with them.
HOME TREATMENT OF THE SECRET HABIT.
1. The first condition of recovery is a prompt and permanent
abandonment of the ruinous habit. Without a faithful adherence to this
prohibitory law on the part of the patient all medication on the
part of the physician will assuredly fail. The patient must plainly
understand that future prospects, character, health, and life itself,
depend on an unfaltering resistance to the morbid solicitation;
with the assurance, however, that a due perseverance will eventually
render, what now seems like a resistless and overwhelming propensity,
not only controllable but perfectly loathsome and undesirable.
2. Keep the mind employed by interesting the patient in the various
topics of the day, and social features of the community.
3. Plenty of bodily out of door exercise, hoeing in the garden,
walking, or working on the farm; of course not too heavy work must be
indulged in.
4. If the patient is weak and very much emaciated, cod liver oil is an
excellent remedy.
5. DIET. The patient should live principally on brown bread, oat meal,
graham crackers, wheat meal, cracked or boiled wheat, or hominy, and
food of that character. No meats should be indulged in whatever; milk
diet if used by the patient is an excellent remedy. Plenty of fruit
should be indulged in; dried toast and baked apples make an excellent
supper. The patient should eat early in the evening, never late at
night.
6. Avoid all tea, coffee, or alcoholic stimulants of any kind.
7. "Early to bed and early to rise," should be the motto of every
victim of this vice. A patient should take a cold bath every morning
after rising. A cold water injection in moderate quantities before
retiring has cured many patients.
8. If the above remedies are not sufficient, a family physician should
be consulted.
9. Never let children sleep together, if possible, to avoid it.
Discourage the children of neighbors and friends from sleeping with
your children.
10. Have your children rise early. It is the lying in bed in the
morning that plays the mischief.
[Illustration: Healthy Semen, Greatly Magnified.]
[Illustration: The Semen of a Victim of Masturbation.]
* * * * *
NOCTURNAL EMISSIONS.
Involuntary emissions of semen during amorous dreams at night is not
at all uncommon among healthy men. When this occurs from one to three
or four times a month, no anxiety or concern need be felt.
When the emissions take place without dreams, manifested only by
stained spots in the morning on the linen, or take place at stool and
are entirely beyond control, then the patient should at once seek
for remedies or consult a competent physician. When blood stains are
produced, then medical aid must be sought at once.
HOME TREATMENT FOR NOCTURNAL EMISSIONS.
Sleep in a hard bed, and rise early and take a sponge bath in cold
water every morning. Eat light suppers and refrain from eating late in
the evening. Empty the bladder thoroughly before retiring, bathe the
spine and hips with a sponge dipped in cold water.
_Never sleep lying on the back._
Avoid all highly seasoned food and read good books, and keep the mind
well employed. Take regular and vigorous outdoor exercise every day.
Avoid all coffee, tea, wine, beer and all alcoholic liquors. Don't use
tobacco, and keep the bowels free.
[Illustration: Healthy Testicle.]
[Illustration: A Testicle wasted by Masturbation.]
PRESCRIPTION.--Ask your druggist to put you up a good Iron Tonic and
take it regularly according to his directions.
BEWARE OF ADVERTISING QUACKS.
Beware of these advertising schemes that advertise a speedy cure for
"Loss of Youth," "Lost Vitality," "A Cure for Impotency," "Renewing of
Old Age," etc. Do not allow these circulating pamphlets and circulars
to concern you the least. If you have a few _Nocturnal Emissions_,
remember it is only a mark of vitality and health, and not a sign of a
deathly disease, as many of these advertising quacks would lead you to
believe.
Use your private organs only for what your Creator intended they
should be used, and there will be no occasion for you to be frightened
by the deception of quacks.
[Illustration: THE TWO PATHS--What Will The Boy Become?
At 15: STUDY & CLEANLINESS
At 25: PURITY & ECONOMY
At 36: HONORABLE SUCCESS
At 60: VENERABLE OLD AGE
At 15: CIGARETTES & SELF-ABUSE
At 25: IMPURITY & DISSIPATION
At 36: VICE & DEGENERACY
At 60: MORAL-PHYSICAL WRECK]
* * * * *
LOST MANHOOD RESTORED.
1. RESOLUTE DESISTENCE.--The first step towards the restoration of
lost manhood is a resolute desistence from these terrible sins. Each
time the temptation is overcome, the power to resist becomes stronger,
and the fierce fire declines. Each time the sin is committed,
its hateful power strengthens, and the fire of lust is increased.
Remember, that you cannot commit these sins, and maintain health and
strength.
2. AVOID BEING ALONE.--Avoid being alone when the temptation comes
upon you to commit self-abuse. Change your thoughts at once; "keep the
heart diligently, for out of it are the issues of life."
3. AVOID EVIL COMPANIONS.--Avoid evil companions, lewd conversation,
bad pictures, corrupt and vicious novels, books, and papers. Abstain
from all intoxicating drinks. These inflame the blood, excite the
passions, and stimulate sensuality; weakening the power of the brain,
they always impair the power of self-restraint. Smoking is very
undesirable. Keep away from the moral pesthouses. Remember that these
houses are the great resort of fallen and depraved men and women.
The music, singing, and dancing are simply a blind to cover the
intemperance and lust, which hold high carnival in these guilded
hells. This, be it remembered, is equally true of the great majority
of the theatres.
4. AVOID STRONG TEA, OR COFFEE.--Take freely of cocoa, milk, and bread
and milk, or oatmeal porridge. Meats, such as beef and mutton, use
moderately. We would strongly recommend to young men of full habit,
vegetarian diet. Fruits in their season, partake liberally; also fresh
vegetables. Brown bread and toast, as also rice, and similar puddings,
are always suitable. Avoid rich pastry and new bread.
5. THREE MEALS A DAY ARE ABUNDANT.--Avoid suppers, and be careful,
if troubled with nightly emissions, not to take any liquid, not
even water, after seven o'clock in the evening, at latest. This will
diminish the secretions of the body, when asleep, and the consequent
emissions, which in the early hours of the morning usually follow
the taking of any kind of drink. Do not be anxious or troubled by an
occasional emission, say, for example, once a fortnight.
6. REST ON A HARD MATTRESS.--Keep the body cool when asleep; heat
arising from a load of bed-clothes, is most undesirable. Turn down the
counterpane, and let the air have free course through the blankets.
7. RELIEVE THE SYSTEM.--As much as possible relieve the system of
urine before going to sleep. On rising, bathe if practicable. If you
cannot bear cold water, take the least possible chill off the water
(cold water, however, is best). If bathing is not practicable, wash
the body with cold water, and keep scrupulously clean. The reaction
caused by cold water, is most desirable. Rub the body dry with a rough
towel. Drink a good draught of cold water.
8. EXERCISE.--Get fifteen minutes' brisk walk, if possible before
breakfast. If any sense of faintness exists, eat a crust of bread, or
biscuit. Be regular in your meals, and do not fear to make a hearty
breakfast. This lays a good foundation for the day. Take daily good,
but not violent exercise. Walk until you can distinctly feel the
tendency to perspiration. This will keep the pores of the skin open
and in healthy condition.
9. MEDICINES.--Take the medicines, if used, regularly and carefully.
Bromide of Potassium is a most valuable remedy in allaying lustful
and heated passions and appetites. Unless there is actual venereal
disease, medicine should be very little resorted to.
10. AVOID THE STREETS AT NIGHT.--Beware of corrupt companions. Fast
young men and women should be shunned everywhere. Cultivate a taste
for good reading and evening studies. Home life with its gentle
restraints, pure friendships, and healthful discipline, should be
highly valued. There is no liberty like that of a well-regulated
home. To large numbers of young men in business houses, home life is
impracticable.
11. BE OF GOOD CHEER AND COURAGE.--Recovery will be gradual, and not
sudden; vital force is developed slowly from within. The object
aimed at by medicine and counsel, is to aid and increase nervous and
physical vigor, and give tone to the demoralized system. Do not pay
the slightest heed to the exaggerated statements of the wretched
quack doctors, who advertise everywhere. Avoid them as you would a
pestilence. Their great object is, through exciting your fears, to get
you into their clutches, in order to oppress you with heavy and unjust
payments. Be careful, not to indulge in fancies, or morbid thoughts
and feelings. Be hopeful, and play the part of a man determined to
overcome.
* * * * *
MANHOOD WRECKED AND RESCUED.
1. THE NOBLEST FUNCTIONS OF MANHOOD.--The noblest functions of manhood
are brought into action in the office of the parent. It is here
that man assumes the prerogative of a God and becomes a creator.
How essential that every function of his physical system should be
perfect, and every faculty of his mind free from that which would
degrade; yet how many drag their purity through the filth of
masturbation, revel in the orgies of the debauchee, and worship at
the shrine of the prostitute, until, like a tree blighted by the livid
lightning, they stand with all their outward form of men, but without
life.
2. THRESHOLD OF HONOR.--Think of a man like that; in whom the passions
and vices have burned themselves out, putting on the airs of a saint
and claiming to have reformed. Aye, reformed, when there is no
longer sweetness in the indulgence of lust. Think of such loathsome
bestiality, dragging its slimy body across the threshold of honor and
nobility and asking a pure woman, with the love-light of heaven in
her eyes, to pass her days with him; to accept him as her lord; to
be satisfied with the burnt-out, shriveled forces of manhood left;
to sacrifice her purity that he may be redeemed, and to respect in a
husband what she would despise in the brute.
3. STOP.--If you are, then, on the highway to this state of
degradation, stop. If already you have sounded the depths of lost
manhood, then turn, and from the fountain of life regain your power,
before you perpetrate the terrible crime of marriage, thus wrecking
a woman's life and perhaps bringing into the world children who will
live only to suffer and curse the day on which they were born and the
father who begat them.
4. SEXUAL IMPOTENCY.--Sexual impotency means sexual starvation, and
drives many wives to ruin, while a similar lack among wives drives
husbands to libertinism. Nothing so enhances the happiness of married
couples as this full, life-abounding, sexual vigor in the husband,
thoroughly reciprocated by the wife, yet completely controlled by
both.
5. TWO CLASSES OF SUFFERERS.--There are two classes of sufferers.
First, those who have only practiced self-abuse and are suffering from
emissions. Second, those who by overindulgence in marital relations,
or by dissipation with women, have ruined their forces.
6. THE REMEDY.--For self-abuse: When the young man has practiced
self-abuse for some time, he finds, upon quitting the habit, that he
has nightly emissions. He becomes alarmed, reads every sensational
advertisement in the papers, and at once comes to the conclusion that
he must take something. _Drugs are not necessary._
7. STOP THE CAUSE.--The one thing needful, above all others, is to
stop the cause. I have found that young men are invariably mistaken
as to what is the cause. When asked as to the first cause of their
trouble, they invariably say it was self-abuse, etc., but it is not.
_It is the thought._ This precedes the handling, and, like every other
cause, must be removed in order to have right results.
8. STOP THE THOUGHT.--But remember, _stop the thought_! You must not
look after every woman with lustful thoughts, nor go courting girls
who will allow you to hug, caress and kiss them, thus rousing your
passions almost to a climax. Do not keep the company of those whose
only conversation is of a lewd and depraved character, but keep the
company of those ladies who awaken your higher sentiments and nobler
impulses, who appeal to the intellect and rouse your aspiration, in
whose presence you would no more feel your passions aroused than in
the presence of your own mother.
9. YOU WILL GET WELL.--Remember you will get well. Don't fear. Fear
destroys strength and therefore increases the trouble. Many get
downhearted, discouraged, despairing--the very worst thing that can
happen, doing as much harm, and in many cases more, than their former
dissipation. Brooding kills; hope enlivens. Then sing with joy that
the savior of knowledge has vanquished the death-dealing ignorance of
the past; that the glorious strength of manhood has awakened and cast
from you forever the grinning skeleton of vice. Be your better self,
proud that your thoughts in the day-time are as pure as you could wish
your dreams to be at night.
10. HELPS.--Do not use tobacco or liquor. They inflame the passions
and irritate the nervous system; they only gratify base appetites
and never rouse the higher feelings. Highly spiced food should be
eschewed, not chewed. Meat should be eaten sparingly, and never at the
last meal.
11. DON'T EAT TOO MUCH.--If not engaged in hard physical labor, try
eating two meals a day. Never neglect the calls of nature, and if
possible have a passage from the bowels every night before retiring.
When this is not done the feces often drop into the rectum during
sleep, producing heat which extends to the sexual organs, causing the
lascivious dreams and emission. This will be noticed especially in
the morning, when the feces usually distend the rectum and the person
nearly always awakes with sexual passions aroused. If necessary, use
injections into the rectum of from one to two quarts of water, blood
heat, two or three times a week. Be sure to keep clean and see to it
that no matter collects under the foreskin. Wash off the organ every
night and take a quick, cold hand-bath every morning. Have something
to do. Never be idle. Idleness always worships at the shrine of
passion.
12. THE WORST TIME OF ALL.--Many are ruined by allowing their thoughts
to run riot in the morning. Owing to the passions being roused as
stated above, the young man lies half awake and half dozing, rousing
his passions and reveling in lascivious thought for hours perhaps,
thus completely sapping the fountains of purity, establishing habits
of vice that will bind him with iron bands, and doing his physical
system more injury than if he had practiced self-abuse, and had the
emission in a few minutes. Jump out of bed at once on waking, and
never allow the thought to master you.
13. A HAND BATH.--A hand bath in cold water every morning will
diminish those rampant sexual cravings, that crazy, burning, lustful
desire so sensualizing to men by millions; lessen prostitution by
toning down that passion which alone patronizes it, and relieve wives
by the millions of those excessive conjugal demands which ruin their
sexual health; besides souring their tempers, and then demanding
millions of money for resultant doctor bills.
14. WILL GET WELL.--Feel no more concern about yourself. Say to
yourself, "I shall and will get well under this treatment," as you
certainly will. Pluck is half the battle. Mind acts and reads directly
on the sexual organs. Determining to get well gets you well; whilst
all fear that you will become worse makes you worse. All worrying over
your case as if it were hopeless, all moody and despondent feelings,
tear the life right out of these organs, whilst hopefulness puts new
life into them.
[Illustration]
[Illustration: INNOCENT CHILDHOOD.]
* * * * *
THE CURSE AND CONSEQUENCE OF SECRET DISEASES.
1. THE SINS OF THE FATHERS ARE VISITED ON THE CHILDREN.--If persons
who contract secret diseases were the only sufferers, there would
be less pity and less concern manifested by the public and medical
profession.
2. There are many secret diseases which leave an hereditary taint, and
innocent children and grandchildren are compelled to suffer as well as
those who committed the immoral act.
3. GONORRHOEA (Clap) is liable to leave the parts sensitive and
irritable, and the miseries of spermatorrhoea, impotence, chronic
rheumatism, stricture and other serious ailments may follow.
4. SYPHILIS (Pox).--Statistics prove that over 30 per cent. of the
children born alive perish within the first year. Outside of this
frightful mortality, how many children are born, inheriting eruptions
of the skin, foul ulcerations swelling of the bones, weak eyes or
blindness, scrofula, idiocy, stunted growth, and finally insanity, all
on account of the father's early vices. The weaknesses and afflictions
of parents are by natural laws visited upon their children.
5. The mother often takes the disease from her husband, and she
becomes an innocent sufferer to the dreaded disease. However, some
other name generally is applied to the disease, and with perfect
confidence in her husband she suffers pain all her life, ignorant of
the true cause. Her children have diseases of the eyes, skin, glands
and bones, and the doctor will apply the term scrofula, when the
result is nothing more or less than inherited syphilis. Let every man
remember, the vengeance to a vital law knows only justice, not mercy,
and a single moment of illicit pleasure will bring many curses upon
him, and drain out the life of his innocent children, and bring a
double burden of disease and sorrow to his wife.
6. If any man who has been once diseased is determined to marry, he
should have his constitution tested thoroughly and see that every seed
of the malady in the system has been destroyed. He should bathe
daily in natural sulphur waters, as, for instance, the hot springs in
Arkansas, or the sulphur springs in Florida, or those springs known as
specific remedies for syphilic diseases. As long as the eruptions on
the skin appear by bathing in sulphur water there is danger, and if
the eruptions cease and do not appear, it is very fair evidence that
the disease has left the system, yet it is not an infallible test.
7. How many bright and intelligent young men have met their doom and
blighted the innocent lives of others, all on account of the secret
follies and vices of men.
8. PROTECTION.--Girls, you, who are too poor and too honest to
disguise aught in your character, with your sweet soul shining through
every act of your lives, beware of the men who smile upon you. Study
human nature, and try and select a virtuous companion.
10. SYPHILITIC POISON INERADICABLE.--Many of our best and ablest
physicians assert that syphilitic poison, once infected, there can be
no total disinfection during life; some of the virus remains in
the system, though it may seem latent. Boards of State Charities in
discussing the causes of the existence of whole classes of defectives
hold to the opinion given above. The Massachusetts board in its report
has these strong words on the subject:
"The worst is that, though years may have passed since its active
stage, it permeates the very seed of life and causes strange
affections or abnormalities in the offspring, or it tends to lessen
their vital force, to disturb or to repress their growth, to lower
their standard of mental and bodily vigor, and to render life puny and
short."
11. A SERPENT'S TOOTH.--"_The direct blood-poisoning, caused by the
absorption into the system of the virus (syphilis) is more hideous and
terrible in its effect than that of a serpent's tooth._ This may kill
outright, and there's an end; but that, stingless and painless, slowly
and surely permeates and vitiates the whole system of which it becomes
part and parcel, like myriads of trichinae, and can never be utterly
cast out, even by salivation.
"Woe to the family and to the people in whose veins the poison
courses!
"It would seem that nothing could end the curse except utter
extermination. That, however, would imply a purpose of eternal
vengeance, involving the innocent with the guilty."
This disease compared with small-pox is as an ulcer upon a finger
to an ulcer in the vitals. Small-pox does not vitiate the blood of
a people; this disease does. Its existence in a primary form implies
moral turpitude.
12. CASES CITED.--Many cases might be cited. We give but one. A man
who had contracted the disease reformed his ways and was apparently
cured. He married, and although living a moral life was compelled to
witness in his little girl's eye-balls, her gums, and her breath the
result of his past sins. No suffering, no expense, no effort would
have been too great could he but be assured that his offspring might
be freed from these results.
13. PREVENTION BETTER THAN CURE.--Here is a case where the old adage,
"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure," may be aptly
applied. Our desire would be to herald to all young men in stentorian
tones the advice, "Avoid as a deadly enemy any approaches or probable
pitfalls of the disease. Let prevention be your motto and then you
need not look for a cure."
14. HELP PROFFERED.--Realizing the sad fact that many are afflicted
with this disease we would put forth our utmost powers to help even
these, and hence give on the following pages some of the best methods
of cure.
HOW TO CURE GONORRHOEA (Clap).
CAUSES, IMPURE CONNECTIONS, ETC.
SYMPTOMS.--As the disease first commences to manifest itself, the
patient notices a slight itching at the point of the male organ, which
is shortly followed by a tingling or smarting sensation, especially
on making water. This is on account of the inflammation, which now
gradually extends backward, until the whole canal is involved. The
orifice of the urethra is now noticed to be swollen and reddened, and
on inspection a slight discharge will be found to be present. And
if the penis is pressed between the finger and thumb, matter or pus
exudes. As the inflammatory stage commences, the formation of pus
is increased, which changes from a thin to a thick yellow color,
accompanied by a severe scalding on making water. The inflammation
increases up to the fifth day, often causing such pain, on urinating,
that the patient is tortured severely. When the disease reaches its
height, the erections become somewhat painful, when the discharge may
be streaked with blood.
HOME TREATMENT.
First, see that the bowels are loose--if not, a cathartic should be
given. If the digestive powers are impaired, they should be corrected
and the general health looked after. If the system is in a good
condition, give internally five drops of gelseminum every two hours.
The first thing to be thought of is to pluck the disease in its
bud, which is best done by injections. The best of these are: tinct.
hydrastis, one drachm; pure water, four ounces; to be used three times
a day after urinating. Zinc, sulphate, ten grains; pure water, eight
ounces; to be used after urinating every morning and night. Equal
parts of red wine and pure water are often used, and are of high
repute, as also one grain of permanganate of potash to four ounces of
water.
If the above remedies are ineffectual, a competent physician should be
consulted.
GENERAL TREATMENT.--One of the best injections for a speedy cure is:
Hydrastis, 1 oz.
Water, 5 oz.
Mix and with a small syringe inject into the penis four or five times
a day after urinating, until relieved, and diminish the number of
injections as the disease disappears. No medicine per mouth need be
given, unless the patient is in poor health.
SYPHILIS (POX).
1. This is the worst of all diseases except cancer--no tissue of
the body escapes the ravages of this dreadful disease--bone, muscle,
teeth, skin and every part of the body are destroyed by its deforming
and corroding influence.
2. SYMPTOMS.--About eight days after the exposure a little redness and
then a pimple, which soon becomes an open sore, makes its appearance,
on or about the end of the penis in males or on the external or inner
parts of the uterus of females. Pimples and sores soon multiply, and
after a time little hard lumps appear in the groin, which soon develop
into a blue tumor called _bubo._ Copper colored spots may appear in
the face, hair fall out, etc. Canker and ulcerations in the mouth and
various parts of the body soon develop.
3. TREATMENT.--Secure the very best physician your means will allow
without delay.
4. LOCAL TREATMENT OF BUBOES.--To prevent suppuration, treatment must
be instituted as soon as they appear. Compresses, wet in a solution
composed of half an ounce of muriate of ammonia, three drachms of the
fluid extract of belladonna, and a pint of water, are beneficial, and
should be continuously applied. The tumor may be scattered by painting
it once a day with tincture of iodine.
5. FOR ERUPTIONS.--The treatment of these should be mainly
constitutional. Perfect cleanliness should be observed, and the
sulphur, spirit vapor, or alkaline bath freely used. Good diet and
the persistent use of alteratives will generally prove successful in
removing this complication.
RECIPE FOR SYPHILIS.
Bin-iodide of mercury, 1 gr.
Extract of licorice, 32 gr.
Make into 16 pills. Take one morning and night.
_LOTION._
Bichloride of mercury, 15 gr.
Lime water, 1 pt.
Shake well, and wash affected parts night and morning.
FOR ERUPTIONS ON TONGUE.
Cyanide of silver, 1/2 gr.
Powdered iridis, 2 gr.
Divide into 10 parts. To be rubbed on tongue once a day.
FOR ERUPTIONS IN SYPHILIS.
A 5 per cent. ointment of carbolic acid, in a good preparation.
BUBO.
TREATMENT.
Warm poultice of linseed meal,
Mercurial plaster,
Lead ointment.
GLEET (CHRONIC CLAP).
1. SYMPTOMS.--When gonorrhoea is not cured at the end of twenty-one or
twenty-eight days, at which time all discharge should have ceased, we
have a condition known as chronic clap, which is nothing more or less
than gleet. At this time most of the symptoms have abated, and the
principal one needing medical attention is the discharge, which is
generally thin, and often only noticed in the morning on arising, when
a scab will be noticed, glutinating the lips of the external orifice.
Or, on pressing with the thumb and finger from behind, forward, a
thin, white discharge can be noticed.
2. HOME TREATMENT.--The diet of patients affected with this disease
is all-important, and should have careful attention. The things that
should be avoided are highly spiced and stimulating foods and drinks,
as all forms of alcohol, or those containing acids. Indulgence in
impure thoughts is often sufficient to keep a discharge, on account
of the excitement it produces to the sensitive organs, thus inducing
erections, which always do harm.
3. GENERAL TREATMENT.--The best injection is:
Nitrate of silver, 1/4 grain
Pure water, 1 oz.
Inject three or four times a day after urinating.
STRICTURE OF THE URETHRA.
SYMPTOMS.--The patient experiences difficulty in voiding the urine,
several ineffectual efforts being made before it will flow. The stream
is diminished in size, of a flattened or spiral form, or divided in
two or more parts, and does not flow with the usual force.
TREATMENT.--It is purely a surgical case and a competent surgeon must
be consulted.
PHIMOSIS.
1. CAUSE.--Is a morbid condition of the penis, in which the glans
penis cannot be uncovered, either on account of a congenital smallness
of the orifice of the foreskin, or it may be due to the acute stage of
gonorrhoea, or caused by the presence of soft chancre.
2. SYMPTOMS.--It is hardly necessary to give a description of the
symptoms occurring in this condition, for it will be easily diagnosed,
and its appearances are so indicative that all that is necessary is to
study into its cause and treat the disease with reference to that.
TREATMENT.--If caused from acute gonorrhoea, it should be treated
first by hot fomentations, to subdue the swelling, when the glans
penis can be uncovered. If the result of the formation of chancre
under the skin, they should be treated by a surgeon, for it may result
in the sloughing off of the end of the penis, unless properly treated.
[Illustration: ILLUSTRATING MAGNETIC INFLUENCES. ANIMAL MAGNETISM IS
SUPPOSED TO RADIATE FROM AND ENCIRCLE EVERY HUMAN BEING.]
* * * * *
ANIMAL MAGNETISM.
WHAT IT IS AND HOW TO USE IT.
1. MAGNETISM EXISTING BETWEEN THE BODIES OF MANKIND.--It is rational
to believe that there is a magnetism existing between the bodies of
mankind, which may have either a beneficial or a damaging effect upon
our health, according to the conditions which are produced, or the
nature of the individuals who are brought in contact with each other.
As an illustration of this point we might consider that, all nature is
governed by the laws of attraction and repulsion, or in other words,
by positive and negative forces. These subtle forces or laws in
nature which we call attraction or repulsion, are governed by the
affinity--or sameness--or the lack of affinity--or sameness--which
exists between what may be termed the combination of atoms or
molecules which goes to make up organic structure.
2. LAW OF ATTRACTION.--Where this affinity--or sameness--exists
between the different things, there is what we term the law of
attraction, or what may be termed the disposition to unite together.
Where there is no affinity existing between the nature of the
different particles of matter, there is what may be termed the law
of repulsion, which has a tendency to destroy the harmony which would
otherwise take place.
3. MAGNETISM OF THE MIND.--Now, what is true of the magnet and steel,
is also true--from the sameness of their nature--of two bodies. And
what is true of the body in this sense, is also true of the sameness
or magnetism of the mind. Hence, _by the laying on of hands_, or by
the association of the minds of individuals, we reach the same result
as when a combination is produced in any department of nature. Where
this sameness of affinity exists, there will be a blending of forces,
which has a tendency to build up vitality.
4. A PROOF.--As a proof of this position, how often have you found
the society of strangers to be so repulsive to your feelings, that
you have no disposition to associate. Others seem to bring with them
a soothing influence that draws you closer to them. All these
involuntary likes and dislikes are but the results of the
_animal magnetism_ that we are constantly throwing off from our
bodies,--although seemingly imperceptible to our internal senses.--The
dog can scent his master, and determine the course which he pursues,
no doubt from similar influences.
5. HOME HARMONY.--Many of the infirmities that afflict humanity are
largely due to a want of an understanding of its principles, and
the right applications of the same. I believe that if this law of
magnetism was more fully understood and acted upon, there would be a
far greater harmony in the domestic circle; the health of parents and
children might often be preserved where now sickness and discord so
frequently prevail.
6. THE LAW OF MAGNETISM.--When two bodies are brought into contact
with each other, the weak must naturally draw from the strong until
both have become equal. And as long as this equality exists there will
be perfect harmony between individuals, because of the reciprocation
which exists in their nature.
7. SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST.--But if one should gain the advantage of
the other in magnetic attraction, the chances are that through the
law of development, or what has been termed the "Survival of the
Fittest"--the stronger will rob the weaker until one becomes robust
and healthy, while the other grows weaker and weaker day by day.
This frequently occurs with children sleeping together, also between
husband and wife.
8. SLEEPING WITH INVALIDS.--Healthy, hearty, vigorous persons sleeping
with a diseased person is always at a disadvantage. The consumptive
patient will draw from the strong, until the consumptive person
becomes the strong patient and the strong person will become the
consumptive. There are many cases on record to prove this statement.
A well person should never sleep with an invalid if he desires to keep
his health unimpaired, for the weak will take from the strong, until
the strong becomes the weak and the weak the strong. Many a husband
has died from a lingering disease which saved his wife from an early
grave. He took the disease from his wife because he was the stronger,
and she became better and he perished.
9. HUSBAND AND WIFE.--It is not always wise that husband and wife
should sleep together, nor that children--whose temperament does not
harmonize--should be compelled to sleep in the same bed. By the same
law it is wrong for the young to sleep with old persons. Some have
slept in the same bed with persons, when in the morning they have
gotten up seemingly more tired than when they went to bed. At other
times with different persons, they have lain awake two-thirds of
the night in pleasant conversation and have gotten up in the morning
without scarcely realizing that they had been to sleep at all, yet
have felt perfectly rested and refreshed.
10. MAGNETIC HEALING, OR WHAT HAS BEEN KNOWN AS THE LAYING ON OF
HANDS.--A nervous prostration is a negative condition beneath the
natural, by the laying on of hands a person in a good, healthy
condition is capable of communicating to the necessity of the weak.
For the negative condition of the patient will as naturally draw from
the strong, as the loadstone draws from the magnet, until both become
equally charged. And as fevers are a positive condition of the system
"beyond the natural," the normal condition of the healer will, by the
laying on of the hands, absorb these positive atoms, until the fever
of the patient becomes reduced or cured. As a proof of this the
magnetic healer often finds himself or herself prostrated after
treating the weak, and excited or feverish after treating a feverish
patient.
[Illustration: WELL MATED.]
* * * * *
HOW TO READ CHARACTER.
HOW TO TELL DISPOSITION AND CHARACTER BY THE NOSE.
1. LARGE NOSES.--Bonaparte chose large-nosed men for his generals, and
the opinion prevails that large noses indicate long heads and strong
minds. Not that great noses cause great minds, but that the motive or
powerful temperament cause both.
2. FLAT NOSES.--Flat noses indicate flatness of mind and character, by
indicating a poor, low organic structure.
3. BROAD NOSES.--Broad noses indicate large passage-ways to the lungs,
and this, large lungs and vital organs and this, great strength of
constitution, and hearty animal passions along with selfishness; for
broad noses, broad shoulders, broad heads, and large animal organs go
together. But when the nose is narrow at the base, the nostrils are
small, because the lungs are small and need but small avenues for air;
and this indicates a predisposition to consumptive complaints, along
with an active brain and nervous system, and a passionate fondness for
literary pursuits.
4. SHARP NOSES.--Sharp noses indicate a quick, clear, penetrating,
searching, knowing, sagacious mind, and also a scold; indicate warmth
of love, hate, generosity, moral sentiment--indeed, positiveness in
everything.
5. BLUNT NOSES.--Blunt noses indicate and accompany obtuse intellects
and perceptions, sluggish feelings, and a soulless character.
6. ROMAN NOSES.--The Roman nose indicates a martial spirit, love
of debate, resistance, and strong passions, while hollow, pug
noses indicate a tame, easy, inert, sly character, and straight,
finely-formed Grecian noses harmonious characters. Seek their
acquaintance.
DISPOSITION AND CHARACTER BY STATURE.
1. TALL PERSONS.--Tall persons have high heads, and are aspiring, aim
high, and seek conspicuousness, while short ones have flat heads, and
seek the lower forms of worldly pleasures. Tall persons are rarely
mean, though often grasping; but very penurious persons are often
broad-built.
2. SMALL PERSONS.--Small persons generally have exquisite mentalities,
yet less power--the more precious the article, the smaller the package
in which it is done up,--while great men are rarely dwarfs, though
great size often co-exists with sluggishness.
DISPOSITION AND CHARACTER BY THE WALK.
1. AWKWARD.--Those whose motions are awkward yet easy, possess much
efficiency and positiveness of character, yet lack polish; and just
in proportion as they become refined in mind will their movements be
correspondingly improved. A short and quick step indicates a brisk and
active but rather contracted mind, whereas those who take long steps
generally have long heads; yet if the step is slow, they will make
comparatively little progress, while those whose step is long and
quick will accomplish proportionately much, and pass most of their
competitors on the highway of life.
2. A DRAGGING STEP.--Those who sluff or drag their heels, drag and
drawl in everything; while those who walk with a springing, bouncing
step, abound in mental snap and spring. Those whose walk is mincing,
affected, and artificial, rarely, if ever, accomplish much; whereas
those who walk carelessly, that is, naturally, are just what they
appear to be, and put on nothing for outside show.
3. THE DIFFERENT MODES OF WALKING.--In short, every individual has
his own peculiar mode of moving, which exactly accords with his mental
character; so that, as far as you can see such modes, you can decipher
such outlines of character.
THE DISPOSITION AND CHARACTER BY LAUGHING.
1. LAUGHTER EXPRESSIVE OF CHARACTER.--Laughter is very expressive
of character. Those who laugh very heartily have much cordiality and
whole-souledness of character, except that those who laugh heartily at
trifles have much feeling, yet little sense. Those whose giggles
are rapid but light, have much intensity of feeling, yet lack power;
whereas those who combine rapidity with force in laughing, combine
them in character.
2. VULGAR LAUGH.--Vulgar persons always laugh vulgarly, and refined
persons show refinement in their laugh. Those who ha, ha right out,
unreservedly, have no cunning, and are open-hearted in everything;
while those who suppress laughter, and try to control their
countenances in it, are more or less secretive. Those who laugh with
their mouths closed are non-committal; while those who throw it wide
open are unguarded and unequivocal in character.
3. SUPPRESSED LAUGHTER.--Those who, suppressing laughter for a
while, burst forth volcano-like, have strong characteristics, but are
well-governed, yet violent when they give way to their feelings. Then
there is the intellectual laugh, the love laugh, the horse laugh, the
philoprogenitive laugh, the friendly laugh, and many other kinds of
laugh, each indicative of corresponding mental developments.
DISPOSITION AND CHARACTER BY THE MODE OF SHAKING HANDS.
THEIR EXPRESSION OF CHARACTER.--Thus, those who give a tame and loose
hand, and shake lightly, have a cold, if not heartless and selfish
disposition, rarely sacrificing much for others, are probably
conservatives, and lack warmth and soul. But those who grasp
firmly, and shake heartily, have a corresponding whole-souledness of
character, are hospitable, and will sacrifice business to friends;
while those who bow low when they shake hands, add deference to
friendship, and are easily led, for good or bad, by friends.
[Illustration: AN EASY-GOING DISPOSITION.]
THE DISPOSITION AND CHARACTER BY THE MOUTH AND EYES.
1. DIFFERENT FORMS OF MOUTHS.--Every mouth differs from every
other, and indicates a coincident character. Large mouths express
a corresponding quantity of mentality, while small ones indicate a
lesser amount. A coarsely-formed mouth indicates power, while one
finely-formed indicates exquisite susceptibilities. Hence small,
delicately formed mouths indicate only common minds, with very fine
feelings and much perfection of character.
2. CHARACTERISTICS.--Whenever the muscles about the mouth are
distinct, the character is correspondingly positive, and the reverse.
Those who open their mouths wide and frequently, thereby evince an
open soul, while closed mouths, unless to hide deformed teeth, are
proportionately secretive.
3. EYES.--Those who keep their eyes half shut are peek-a-boos and
eaves-droppers.
4. EXPRESSIONS OF THE EYE.--The mere expression of the eye conveys
precise ideas of the existing and predominant states of the mentality
and physiology. As long as the constitution remains unimpaired,
the eye is clear and bright, but becomes languid and soulless in
proportion as the brain has been enfeebled. Wild, erratic persons
have a half-crazed expression of eye, while calmness, benignancy,
intelligence, purity, sweetness, love, lasciviousness, anger, and all
the other mental affections, express themselves quite as distinctly by
the eye as voice, or any other mode.
6. COLOR OF THE EYES.--Some inherit fineness from one parent, and
coarseness from the other, while the color of the eye generally
corresponds with that of the skin, and expresses character. Light eyes
indicate warmth of feeling, and dark eyes power.
6. GARMENTS.--Those, who keep their coats buttoned up, fancy
high-necked and closed dresses, etc., are equally non-communicative,
but those who like open, free, flowing garments, are equally
open-hearted and communicative.
THE DISPOSITION AND CHARACTER BY THE COLOR OF THE HAIR.
1. DIFFERENT COLORS.--Coarseness and fineness of texture in nature
indicate coarse and fine-grained feelings and characters, and since
black signifies power, and red ardor, therefore coarse black hair
and skin signify great power of character of some kind, along with
considerable tendency to the sensual; yet fine black hair and skin
indicate strength of character, along with purity and goodness.
2. COARSE HAIR.--Coarse black hair and skin, and coarse red hair
and whiskers, indicate powerful animal passions, together with
corresponding strength of character; while fine or light, or auburn
hair indicates quick susceptibilities, together with refinement and
good taste.
3. FINE HAIR.--Fine dark or brown hair indicates the combination of
exquisite susceptibilities with great strength of character, while
auburn hair, with a florid countenance, indicates the highest order of
sentiment and intensity of feeling, along with corresponding purity
of character, combined with the highest capacities for enjoyment and
suffering.
4. CURLY HAIR.--Curly hair or beard indicates a crisp, excitable, and
variable disposition, and much diversity of character--now blowing
hot, now cold--along with intense love and hate, gushing, glowing
emotions, brilliancy, and variety of talent. So look out for ringlets;
they betoken April weather--treat them gently, lovingly, and you
will have the brightest, clearest sunshine, and the sweetest balmiest
breezes.
5. STRAIGHT HAIR.--Straight, even, smooth, and glossy hair indicate
strength, harmony, and evenness of character, and hearty, whole-souled
affections, as well as a clear head and superior talents; while
straight, stiff, black hair and beard indicate a coarse, strong,
rigid, straight-forward character.
6. ABUNDANCE OF HAIR.--Abundance of hair and beard signifies virility
and a great amount of character; while a thin beard signifies
sterility and a thinly settled upper story, with rooms to let, so that
the beard is very significant of character.
7. FIERY RED HAIR indicates a quick and fiery disposition. Persons
with such hair generally have intense feelings--love and hate
intensely--yet treat them kindly, and you have the warmest friends,
but ruffle them, and you raise a hurricane on short notice. This is
doubly true of auburn curls. It takes but little kindness, however, to
produce a calm and render them as fair as a Summer morning. Red-headed
people in general are not given to hold a grudge. They are generally
of a very forgiving disposition.
SECRETIVE DISPOSITIONS.
1. A man that naturally wears his hat upon the top or back of the head
is frank and outspoken; will easily confide and have many confidential
friends, and is less liable to keep a secret. He will never do you any
harm.
2. If a man wears his hat well down on the forehead, shading the eyes
more or less, will always keep his own counsel. He will not confide a
secret, and if criminally inclined will be a very dangerous character.
3. If a lady naturally inclines to high-necked dresses and collars,
she will keep her secrets to herself if she has any. In courtship or
love she is an uncertainty, as she will not reveal sentiments of her
heart. The secretive girl, however, usually makes a good housekeeper
and rarely gets mixed into neighborhood difficulties. As a wife she
will not be the most affectionate, nor will she trouble her husband
with many of her trials or difficulties.
* * * * *
TWILIGHT SLEEP.
Some years ago two German Physicians, Kroenig and Grauss, of the
University of Baden, startled the world by announcing: "Dammerschlaf"
or "Twilight Sleep," a treatment which rendered childbirth almost
painless and free from dangerous complications. A woman's clinic
was established at Freiburg where a combination of scopolamine and
morphine was given. The muscular activity of the pelvic organs was
not lessened, the length of labor was shortened, and instruments were
rarely necessary.
ABBOTT'S H-M-C is another sedative composed of hyoseine, morphine, and
cactoid. It is less dangerous than the other remedy, and accomplishes
the same result, hence is greatly preferred.
THE UTMOST CAUTION is necessary in the administration of either of
these drugs, and the most competent medical supervision is essential
to their success.
CAUTIONS.--The patient should not be left a moment without medical
supervision. The lying in chamber should be darkened, and kept as
quiet as possible.
* * * * *
PAINLESS CHILDBIRTH.
WHY SHOULD A WOMAN SUFFER?--Childbirth is a natural function, as
natural as eating, sleeping or walking. If the laws of nature are
complied with it loses most, if not all, of its terrors. The facts
show that Indian women, and those of other uncivilized races have
children without experiencing pain, and with none of the so common
modern complications.
WHAT IS THE REASON?--They live a natural, out of doors life, free from
the evils and restrictions of present day civilization in dress and
habits of life.
A NORMAL LIFE.--The expectant mother should therefore live a perfectly
rational life, keeping the stomach and intestines especially healthy
and active, and hence the general physical condition good. An
abundance of fresh air, hearty exercise, and childbirth will pass over
without any abnormal consequences.
* * * * *
THE DISEASES OF WOMEN.
THE WOMAN'S PLACE IS IN THE HOME.--For centuries the world has stuck
to this rule. Because the woman has been considered less fit for the
struggles of the active workaday world, she has been kept at home,
shut in from the air and sunshine, deprived of healthy exercise, and
obliged to live a life of confinement and inactivity.
WHAT IS THE RESULT?--In connection with menstruation, pregnancy and
child bearing a long list of diseases peculiar to woman have arisen,
most of which through proper food and exercise could be avoided.
In matters so vital to posterity false modesty and ignorance can no
longer be tolerated.
CHLOROSIS OR ANAEMIA.
_Home Treatment_: Plenty of good food and fresh air will do much to
restore the blood. Keep the bowels free. Satisfactory results have
been brought about by a systematic use of iron as a tonic.
DISORDERS OF THE MENSES.
RETENTION OF MENSTRUATION.
_Treatment_: When due to the condition of the blood, recommend good
food, fresh air, and sunshine to improve circulation. If the result of
cold and exposure means and appliances for restoring the circulation
must be adopted.
In either case the bowels should be kept open by injections.
VICARIOUS MENSTRUATION.
_Treatment_: No attempt should be made to stop the hemorrhage during
the monthly period. The discharge is usually light although it
occasionally causes great weakness. This disorder is caused by the
suppression of the menses, and must be treated accordingly between
periods.
CESSATION OF THE MENSES.
Commonly called "Change of Life."
_Treatment_: At this dangerous and trying period in a woman's life she
must adopt the utmost regularity in the habits of her existence. Hot
baths, taken just before retiring, will relieve the uncomfortable
feeling so common at this time of life.
DISORDERS OF THE WOMB.
CANCER OF THE WOMB.
_Treatment_: Call at once a competent physician.
DISPLACEMENT OF THE WOMB.
_Treatment_: Evacuate the bowels and the bladder by means of
injections, and the catheter. Place the fingers in the vagina, locate
the mouth of the womb, insert finger into it, and gently pull the
organ into its natural position.
DROPSY OF THE WOMB.
_Treatment_: Use tonics freely together with vapor baths, and frequent
hot hip baths.
FALLING OF THE WOMB.
_Treatment_: Build up the physical condition by an abundance of good
food, fresh air and sunshine, with moderate exercise. Astringent
injections and vaginal suppositories of oak bark, myrrh, and
cocoa-butter will usually bring relief.
INFLAMMATION OF THE WOMB.
_Treatment_: Apply stimulating liniment to the abdomen. Keep body warm
and moist especially at extremities. Add 10-15 drops of carbolic acid
to one quart of warm water and use as a vaginal douche. Keep bowels
open. Furnish light, nourishing diet, and give tonics.
NEURALGIA OF THE WOMB.
_Treatment_: Keep feet warm and give injections to the bowels of
lobelia, lady slipper, and skullcap. Rub the abdomen with liniment.
Absolute quiet, above all else, will bring relief.
DISEASES OF THE VAGINA.
VAGINITIS, OR INFLAMMATION OF THE VAGINA.
_Treatment_: Complete rest. Use distilled sweet clover with a
slight infusion of lady slipper warm, three times a day as a vaginal
injection.
PROLAPSUS OF THE VAGINA.
_Treatment_: When the walls of the vagina become folded upon
themselves through abortion, rupture during delivery, excessive
indulgence, masturbation, etc. it is called prolapsus. Use an
astringent suppository or injection.
SPASM OF THE VAGINA.
_Treatment_: This is nothing more than a nervous condition causing the
muscles of the vagina to spasm thus closing the passage, and rendering
conception almost impossible. Outdoor exercise, light but nourishing
diet, and general attention to the nervous system will bring prompt
relief. Intercourse, if attempted, should be quiet and unfrequent. An
effort should be made to keep the thoughts on other subjects.
DISEASES OF THE EXTERNAL FEMALE GENITALS.
INFLAMMATION AND ABSCESS.
_Treatment_: Wash the parts often with warm water, distilled witch
hazel, and strong infusion of lobelia. Keep the bowels free. In severe
cases apply poultices of ground flaxseed, sprinkled over with golden
seal and lobelia. After poultices are removed, cleanse parts with warm
water, containing a little tincture of myrrh.
PRURITIS.
_Treatment_: A very mortifying and uncomfortable affliction,
accompanied by an almost uncontrollable desire to scratch the parts.
The itching is due to uncleanliness, excessive masturbation, violent
intercourse, inflammation of the bladder, stomach or liver trouble
etc. Bathe the affected parts well with borax water, and apply a
wash of equal parts witch hazel, and an infusion of lobelia. Use mild
laxatives to keep the bowels open.
DISEASES OF THE OVARIES.
DROPSY OF THE OVARIES.
_Treatment_: An accumulation of fluid in the membranous sack about the
ovaries. An operation is necessary and is almost always successful.
INFLAMMATION OF THE OVARIES.
_Treatment_: In mild cases rub abdomen with liniment and apply hot
water bottles. Perfect quiet is essential to an early recovery.
TUMORS OF THE OVARIES.
_Treatment_: A surgical operation is the only means of cure.
* * * * *
REMEDIES FOR DISEASES OF WOMEN.
AFTER PAINS: Salophen in fifteen grain doses. If necessary take
another dose in two hours. Should the pains reappear the next day,
repeat the dosage.
AMENORRHEA: Tincture chloride of iron, three drams; tincture
cantharides, one dram; tincture guaiac ammon., one-half dram;
tincture aloe, one-half ounce; syrup enough to make six ounces. Dose:
Tablespoonful after meals.
CANCER OF THE WOMB: Make a solution and use in douches: Picric acid,
two one-half dram; water one and one-half pint; the patient must lie
flat on back while fluid runs up into the vagina, hips must be raised;
retain the fluid as long as possible. Later on make a cotton tampon,
saturated with chloral hydrate, one-half dram; cocaine hydrochloride,
one and one-half grain; dissolve in five drams of water. Use injection
and tampon morning and night.
DYSMENORRHEA: Asafoetida, forty grains; ext. Valerian, twenty grains;
ext. Cannabis Indica, five grains; make twenty pills. Dose: One pill
after meals. Use the following ointment for the pain in the back: Ext.
Hyoscyamus, thirty grains; ext. Belladonna, thirty grains; Adipis, one
ounce. Apply locally night and morning.
EMMENAGOGUE: Ergotin, twenty grains; ext. cotton root bark, twenty
grains; Purified Aloes, twenty grains; Dried Ferrous sulphate, twenty
grains; ext. Savine, ten grains. Make twenty pills. Dose: One pill
four times a day.
ENDOMETRITIS: Ext. Viburnum Prun, forty grains; ext. Hamamelis, twenty
grains; Ergotin, ten grains; ext. Nux Vomica, two grains; Hydrastin,
one grain. Make twenty pills. Dose: One pill morning and night.
FIBROID TUMORS: Chromium Sulphate, four-grain tablets. Dose: One
tablet after meals.
FISSURE OF NIPPLES: Apply Iodoform, one dram; carbolic acid, twenty
grains; white Petrolatum, one ounce. Apply at night; requires thorough
washing next morning.
HELONIAS COMPOSITION: Helonias, fifteen grains; Squaw wine, sixty
grains; Viburnum Opulus, fifteen grains; Caulophyllum, fifteen grains;
syrup, two ounces. Dose: Teaspoonful every two hours.
LEUCORRHOEA: Ext. Hyoscyamus, one dram; ext. Hamamelis, one dram;
tannic acid, one dram; ext. Helonias, one-half dram; Salicylic acid,
one dram; Alum, three drams; boric acid, five drams. Dissolve flat
teaspoonful in half cup of water, soak a cotton tampon and place
way up in the vagina. As a tonic take: Tincture Cinchona comp., two
ounces; tincture gentian comp., two ounces. Dose: Dessertspoonful
after meals.
MENOPAUSE: Ammonium bromide, two drams; Potassium bromide, four drams;
aromatii spirits amoniae, six drams; camphor water enough to make six
ounces. Dose: One dessertspoonful, three times a day.
MENORRHAGIA: Gallic acid, fifty grains; Ergotin, twenty grains;
Hydrastin, ten grains. Make twenty pills. Dose: One pill after meals.
Another prescription: Calcium chloride, two and one-half drams; syrup,
fifteen drams; water, six ounces. Dose: One tablespoonful morning and
night.
MENSTRUAL IRREGULARITIES: Extracts of cramp bark, forty grains;
blue cohosh, ten grains; Squaw wine, forty grains; pokeberry, twenty
grains; strychnine, one grain. Make forty pills. Dose: One pill four
times a day until relieved.
MENSTRUATION, PROFUSE: Extracts of white ash bark, two drams; black
haw, two drams; cramp bark, two drams; unicorn root, one dram; Squaw
wine, one dram; blue cohosh, one dram. Steep 24 hours in one-half
pint of water, add one-half pint of alcohol. Dose: Tablespoonful three
times a day.
NEURALGIA OF WOMB: Fl. ext. henbane, two drams; Fl. ext. Indian hemp,
one dram; Fl. ext. snake root, four drams; spirits of camphor, two
drams; compound spirits of ether, three ounces. Dose: One teaspoonful
in water three times a day. Medicated hot sitz bath.
OVARIAN CONGESTION: Black haw, sixty grains; Golden seal, sixty
grains; Jamaica dogwood, thirty grains; syrup and water, four ounces.
Dose: One teaspoonful three or four times a day.
OVARIAN SEDATIVE: Lupulin, ten grains; ergotin, five grains;
scutellarin, ten grains; zinc bromide, two grains. Make twenty pills.
Dose: One pill after meals.
VAGINISMUS: Strontium bromide, two drams; potassium bromide, two
drams; ammonium bromide, two drams; water to make ten ounces. Dose:
Tablespoonful morning and night. Make a suppository and insert night:
Cocaine hydrochlorate, two grains; ext. Belladonna, one and one-half
grains; Strontium bromide, four grains; Oil Theobromat, two drams. Use
every night one such suppository, placed high up in the vagina until
all signs of the difficulty are gone.
VAGINITIS: Resorcine, forty grains; Salicylic acid, eight grains;
Betanaphtholis, one grain; add enough water to make it eight ounces.
Dose: Add to this mixture one tablespoonful to a quart of warm water
and douche vagina in above stated manner. Use also suppository as in
Vaginismus.
VULVA ITCHING: Apply externally morning and night the following salve:
Boric acid, thirty grains; Oxide of zinc, sixty grains. Powdered
starch, sixty grains; Petrolatum, one ounce. Apply on cotton and to
affected parts.
ULCERATIONS OF VAGINA OR WOMB: Insert a suppository each one made of
Boric acid, five grains; Powdered alum, five grains. Or the following
composition; Black haw, two grains; golden seal, two grains; add
enough cocoa butter to make one suppository. Insert and keep in over
night after a hot medicated vaginal douche is taken.
UTERINE ASTRINGENT: Alum, three drams; zinc sulphate, two drams;
morphine sulphate, one grain; tannic acid, two drams; Boric acid, six
drams. Mix and use of it one tablespoonful dissolved in pint of warm
water. Inject slowly into vagina in recumbent position, retain the
douche fluid as long as possible. Later on insert when retiring a
vaginal suppository.
UTERINE HEMORRHAGES: Take Stypticin tablets according to printed
direction on the package.
UTERINE TONIC: Helonin, three grains; Caulophyllin, three grains;
Macrotin, three grains; Hyoscyamine, three grains. Make twenty pills.
Dose: One pill after meals.
UTERINE TONIC AND STIMULANT: Take Elixir of Helonias, which can be
bought in drug stores, or get the following tinctures and make it at
home: Partridge berry, ninety-six grains; unicorn root, forty-eight
grains; Blue cohosh, forty-eight grains; cramp bark, forty-eight
grains. Steep these for 24 hours in one-half pint of water,
add one-half pint of alcohol, then strain and bottle. Dose: One
teaspoonful three times a day.
WHITES: Dried alum, one-half ounce; Borax, two ounces; boric acid,
four ounces; Thymol, ten grains; Eucalyptol, ten grains; Oil of
peppermint, two drams. Dissolve, one teaspoonful of the mixture in a
pint of hot water and use as a douche morning and night.
WOMB SPASMS: Cramp bark, one ounce; skullcap, one ounce; skunk
cabbage, four drams. Steep 24 hours in one-half pint of water, add
one-half pint of alcohol. Dose: One tablespoonful three times a day.
* * * * *
[Transcriber's Note: The following "Alphabetical Index" is as it
appears in the original book. It is not in alphabetical order.]
ALPHABETICAL INDEX.
A
Abstention, 137
Abstinence, 52
Abuse After Marriage, 202
Abortion or Miscarriage, 253
Abortion, Causes and Symptoms, 253
Abortion, Home Treatment, 254
Abortion, Prevention of, 254
Abortion, The Sin of Herod, 257
Abortion, The Violation of all Law, 256
Absence of Physician, 300
Abraham a Polygamist, 133
A Broken Heart, 159
Aboriginal, Australian, 162
Admired and Beloved, 28
Advantages of Wedlock, 135
Advice to Newly Married Couples, 201
Advice to Married and Unmarried, 181
Advice to Bridegroom, 201
Advice to Young Mothers, 286
Advice to Young Married People, 435
Advice to Young Men, 437
Adultery in the Heart, 409
After Birth, 300
Affectionate Parents, 227
Amenorrhoea, 355
Amativeness or Connubial Love, 122
Animal Passions, 434
Animal Impulse, 227
Apoplexy, 365
Artificial Impregnation, 270
Arms, Beautiful, 131
Assassin of Garfield, 294
Asking an Honest Question, 61
Associates, Influence of, 11
Authority of the Wife, 267
B
Bad Company, The Result of, 13
Bad Society, 381
Bad Dressing, 409
Bad Books, 421
Bad Breath, 365
Bathing, Rules for, 371-373
Bath, The, 83
Barber's Shampoos, 107
Bad Breast, 322
Bastards or Illegitimates, 224
Beginning of Life, 5
Begin at Right Place, 7
Begin Well, 17
Beauty and Style, 27
Beauty a Dangerous Gift, 27
Beautiful Women, Beware of, 27
Beauty in Dress, 89
Beauty, 91-92
Beauty Which Perishes Not, 92
Beauty, Sensible Hints to, 95
Beautiful Arms, 131
"Be Ye Fruitful and Multiply", 201
Beautiful Children, How to Have, 288
Birth, Conditions of, 229
Biliousness, 279, 357, 363
Bites and Stings of Insects, 359
Bloom and Grace of Youth, 97
Black-heads, and Flesh Worms, 112
Blue Feelings, 159
Bleeding, 364
Both Puzzled, 77
Bodily Symmetry, 100, 105
Boils, 364
Breath, The, 86
Broad Hips, 130
Breach of Confidence, 191
Bride, The, 199
"Bridal Tour", 200
Breasts, Swelled and Sore, 348
Burns, 13, 355, 359
Busts, Full, 130
Bunions, 364
Bubo Treatment, 468
C
Care of the Person, 84
Care of the Hair, 107
Cause of Family Troubles, 217
Calamities of Lust, 416-419
Causes of Sterility, 251
Causes of Divorce, 258-262
Care of New-Born Infant, 315
Cataracts of the Eyes, 355
Causes of Prostitution, 412
Celibacy, Disadvantages of, 138
Chinese Marriage System, 133
Children, Healthy and Beautiful, 222-227
Children, Idiots, Criminals and Lunatics, 222
Children's Condition Depends on Parents, 225
Children, All, May Die, 226
Children, Too Many, 229
Children, Foolish Dread of, 241
Character Lost, 9
Character, Formation of, 11
Character, Essence, 12
Character Exhibits Itself, 15
Character, Beauty of, 18
Child, An Honored, 19
Character, School of, 23
Child, The, is Father of the Man, 24
Character, Female, Influence of, 30
Children, Fond of, 62
Character, Influence of Good, 73
Character is Property, 74
Child Bearing without Pain, 304, 479
Chickenpox, 346, 363
Chapped Hands, 355, 356
Chilblains, 359
Child Training, 396
Chastity and Purity, 400
Character, How to Read, 473
Civilization, 18
Circumcision, 394
Cigarette Smoking, Effects of, 445, 450
Clap--Gonorrhoea, 464
Clap--Gonorrhoea Treatment, 466
Corsets, 101-103
Corset, Egyptian, 104
Coloring for Eyelashes and Eyebrows, 108
Confidence, 122
Connubial Love, 122
Concubinage and Polygamy, 133
Courtship and Marriage, 148
Court Scientifically, 166
Consummation of Marriage, 202
Conception, 239
Conception, Its Limitations, 240
Conceptions and Accidents of Lust, 256
Courtship and Marriage, 267
Control, Self, 12
Coarseness, 24
Correspondence, 36
Conversation, 79
Conception or Impregnation, 269
Conception, The Proper Time for, 289
Colic, 318, 338, 356
Convulsions, Infantile, 319
Constipation, To Prevent, 323, 339
Coughs, Colds, etc., 360
Cold Water for Diseases, 369
Cook for the Sick, How to, 375
Cramps, 277, 356
Croup, How to Treat, 343
Crimping Hair, 109
Criminals and Heredity, 399
Crowning Sin of the Age, 411
Cuts, 358, 360
Cultivate Modesty, 210
Cultivate Personal Attractiveness, 210
Cultivate Physical Attractiveness, 211
Curse of Manhood, The, 433
D
Day Dreaming, 26
Dangerous Diseases, 257
Danger in Lack of Knowledge, 403
Deformities, 98
Development of the Individual, 98
Desertion and Divorce, 187
Desire, Stimulated by Drugs, 250
Desire Moderated by Drugs, 250
Deformities, 264
Desire, Want of, 205
Deafness, How to Cure, 362
Devil's Decoys, The, 419
Disadvantages of Celibacy, 138
Diseased, Parents, 144
Disrupted Love, 159
Divorces, 166
Distress during Consummation, 202
Diseases, Heredity and Transmission of, 263
Diseases of Pregnancy, 274
Diseases of Infants and Children, 338
Diarrhoea, 340, 363
Diphtheria, 346
Diseases of Women and Treatment, 349, 480-485
Disinfectant, 360
Digestibility of Food, 374
Dietetic Recipes, 375
Diseases of Women, 483
Dictionary of Medical Terms, 486
Drink, 16
Dress, 88
Dress Affects Our Manners, 90
Drugs which Stimulate Desire, 250
Drugs which Moderate Desire, 250
Drug Habit, The, 441
Dude of the 17th Century, 87
Duration of Pregnancy, 296
Dyspepsia Cure, 360
E
Early Marriages, 351, 410
Education of Child in the Womb, 292
Effects of Cigarette Smoking, 445-450
Egyptian Dancer, An, 20
Eruptions on the Skin, 272
Etiquette, Rules on, 49
Etiquette of Calls, 56
Etiquette in Your Speech, 57
Etiquette of Dress and Habits, 58
Etiquette on the Street, 59
Etiquette Between Sexes, 60
Eugenic Baby Party, 75
Eunuchs, 407
Evidence of Conception, 269
Expectant Mother, The, 284
Exciting the Passions in Children, 404
Exposed Youth, 427
Excesses by Married Men, 434
Eye Wash, 355
F
Fame, 18
Family Group, Blessing the, 19
Family Government, 76
False Beautifiers, 129
False Appearance, 131
Family Troubles, Cause of, 217
Families, Small, 232
Fallopian Tubes, 237
Fake Medical Advice, 240, 250
Fainting, 281
Falling of the Womb, 350
Fast Young Men, 435
Female Character, Influence of, 30
Female Beauty, 129
Feet, Small, 130
Female Organs, Conditions of, 204
Female Magnetism, 235
Female Sexual Organs, 235
Feeding Infants, 319
Fevers, 327
Feet with Bad Odor, 354
Felon, 358, 364
Female Organs of Creative Life, 385
First Love, 185
First Conjugal Approach, 203
Flirting, 166, 168
Flirting and Its Dangers, 190
Form, Male and Female, 98
Former Customs, 162
Fondling and Caressing, 168
Folly of Follies, 217
Foetal Heart, 273
Follies of Youth, 468
Free Lovers, 133
Frequency of Intercourse, 208
Full Busts, 130
G
Garden of Eden, 133
Gathered Breast, 322
Generosity, 126
Generative Organs, Male, 234
Generative Organs, Female, 236
Girls, Save the, 380
Gland, The Penal, 235
Gland, The Prostate, 235
Gladstone, 8
Gleet, Symptoms and Treatment of, 468
Good Character, 73
Gout, 362
Gonorrhoea (Clap), 464
Gonorrhoea (Clap), Remedy for, 466
Grace, 28
Gray Hair, 110
Grave-Yard Statistics, 226
Grossness of Sensuality, 419
H
Hawaiian Islands and Marriage, 163
Harlot's Woes, A, 431
Habits, 17
Hair and Beard, 85
Hand in Hand, 92
Hair, The Care of, 107-111
Hate-Spats, 154
Hap-Hazard Marriages, 218
Hair, How to Remove, 360
Harlot's Mess of Meat, The, 418
Harlot's Influence, 431
Health a Duty, 7
Helps to Beauty, 95
Heart, A Broken, 159
Healthy Wives and Mothers, 183
Hereditary Descent, 224
Healthy People--Most Children, 226
Heartburn, 276, 357
Headache, 280, 355, 360, 363
Health Rules for Babies, 314
History of Marriage, 132
Hints on Courtship and Marriage, 148-153
Hints in Choosing a Partner, 162
Hives, 354, 360
Home Ties, 6, 22
Home, The Best Regulated, 14
Honesty or Knavery, 17
Home Power, 23
Home Makes the Man, 23
Home the Best of Schools, 25
Homely Men, 128
Honeymoon, How to Perpetuate, 209
Home Treatment, Diseases of Children, 338
Home Treatment of the Secret Habit, 455
How to Write Letters, 34-47
How to Write Love Letters, 37
How to Write Social Letters, 39
How to Determine Perfect Human Figure, 99
How to be a Good Wife, 210
How to be a Good Husband, 212
How to Calculate Time of Labor, 295
How to Keep a Baby Well, 330-335
How to Cook for the Sick, 375
How Many Girls are Ruined, 190
How to Overcome "Secret Habit", 389
How to Tell a Victim of the "Secret Habit", 451
How to Tell Children the Story of Life, 390-395, 401-403
Hot Water for all Diseases, 368
Husband, Whom to Choose for a, 144
Husband's Brutality, 412
Hymen or Vaginal Valve, 202, 203, 236
Hysteria, 349
I
Ignorance, 24
Illicit Pleasures, 207
Illegitimates or Bastards, 224
Illegitimates, Character of, 225
Impulse, 14
Impolite, 70
Improper Liberties, 168
Improvement of the Race, 232
Impotence and Sterility 248
Impotence, Lack of Sexual Vigor, 251
Improper Liberties During Courtship, 267
Impregnation or Conception, 269, 283
Impregnation Artificial, 270
Immorality, Disease and Death, 416
Independence, The Growth of, 6
Influences, 18
Integrity, 19
Influence, The Mother's, 21
Influence of Women, 30
Intelligence, 126-131
Intercourse, Proper, 205
Indulgence, The Time for, 207
Intercourse, Frequency of, 208
Intercourse During Pregnancy, 207, 283
Infanticide, 255
Infantile Convulsions, 319
Indigestion, 328
Infant Teething, 336
Inflammation of Womb, 349
Inhumanities of Parents, 396
Itching of External Parts, 279
J
Jealousy, 156
Jealousy--Its Cause and Cure, 219
Juke Family, The, 243
K
Kalmuck Tartar and Marriage, 163
Keep the Boys Pure, 429
Kindness, 28
Kissing, 168
Knowledge is Safety, 3
L
Ladies' Society, 61
Lady's Dress in Days of Greece, 100
Lacing, 104
Large Men, 126
Lack of Knowledge, 267
Letter Writing, 34-47
Letters, Social, 39
Leucorrhoea, 247, 349
Lessons for Parents, 312
Life Methods, 18
Licentiousness, Beginning of, 151
Limitation of Offspring, 242
Liver-Spots, 281
Love Letters, 37
Love, 114-117
Love, Power and Peculiarities of, 118
Love, Turkish Way of Making, 120
Love and Common Sense, 123
Love-Spats, 154
Love for the Dead, 160
Loss of Desire, 205
Longevity, 367
Loss of Maiden Purity, 404
Low Fiction, 421
Lost Manhood Restored, 459
Lung Trouble, 326
Lustful Eyes, 410
M
Marriage Excesses, 208
Matrimonial Infelicity, 217
Male Sexual Organs, 234
Maternity a Diadem of Beauty, 262
Marks and Deformities, 264
Maternity, Preparation for, 266
Marrying Too Early, 288
Marry, Time to, 351
Man Unsexed, 407
Marriage Bed Resolutions, 427
Man's Lost Powers, 436
Man, The Ideal, 14
Masculine Attention, 62
Maternal Love, 24
Manners, Table, 63
Male Form, 98
Marriage, History of, 132
Marriage, 134
Marriages, Too Early, 136-144
Maids, Old, 140-143
Marry, When and Whom to, 144
Marrying First Cousins, 146
Marriage, Hints on, 148
Marriages, Unhappy, 151
Matrimonial Pointers, 171
Marriage Securities, 174
Marrying for Wealth, 181
Marriage, Time for, 191
Marriage and Motherhood, 192
Marriage, Consummation of, 202
Manhood Wrecked and Rescued, 461
Magnetism, 470-472
Men Haters, 62
Membership in Society, 66
Mental Derangements, 264
Menstruation During Pregnancy, 270
Menstruation During Nursing, 352
Measles, 328, 345, 363
Menstruation, 351, 385
Men Demand Purity, 427
Miscarriage, 207, 253, 283
Miscarriage, Causes and Symptoms, 253
Miscarriage Home Treatment, 254
Miscarriage Prevention, 254
Middle Age, 436
Mistakes Often Fatal, 7
Mistakes of Parents, 185
Moderation, 243
Morning Sickness and Remedy, 271, 282
Modified Milk, 329
Moral Degeneracy, 414
Moral Manhood, 414
Moral Lepers, 433
Moral Principle, 16
Mother's Influence, 21
Mother, A Devoted, 22
Mohammedanism, 133
Mormonism, 133
Monogamy (Single Wife), 134
Motherhood, 150
Morganic Marriages, 162
Murder of the Innocents, 255
Mumps, 345, 358
N
Name, A Good, 18
Name, An Empty or an Evil, 20
Nature's Remedy, 233
Natural Waist, 105
Newly Married Couples, Advice to, 201
Neuralgia, 356, 360
Need of Early Instruction, 380
Non-Completed Intercourse, 411
Nocturnal Emissions and Home Treatment, 459
Nurseries, 24
Nuptial Chamber, 202-204
Nursing, 321
Nursing Sick Children, 325
Nude in Art, The, 422
O
Obscene Literature, 421
Offspring, The Improvement of, 222
Old Maids, 140-143
Ornaments, 94
Our Secret Sins, 409
Ovaries, 237-238
Over-indulgence, 251
Over-Worked Mothers, 285
P
Parents Must Obey, 226
Parents, Feeble and Diseased, 241
Palpitation of the Heart, 281
Pains and Ills in Nursing, 321
Parents Must Teach Children, 391
Passions in Children, 404
Passionate Men, 127
Parents, Diseased, 144
Parents' Participation, 224
Penal Gland, 235
Personal Purity, 31, 415
Penmanship, 34
Personality of Others, 70
Person, Care of the, 81
Perfect Human Figure, 99
Penalties for lost Virtue, 432
Physical and Moral Degeneracy, 414
Physical Deformities, 98
Physical Perfection, 99
Physical Relations of Marriage, 192
Phimosis, Symptoms and Treatment, 469
Piles, 280, 362
Pimples or Facial Eruptions, 111
Plea for Purity, A, 380
Plain Words to Parents, 390
Pleasures, Illicit, 207
Population Limited, 232
Poison Ivy, 359
Poison Sumach, 359
Policy of Silence in Sex Matters, 416
Pollution, Sinks of, 12
Pollution, Sow, 15
Politeness, 70
Polygamy, 133-162
Popping the Question, 195
Poisonous Literature, 421
Pox-Syphilis, 464
Pox-Symptoms and Treatment, 467
Prevention of Conception, 233, 239, 240-241
Prevention, Nature's Method, 243
Prenatal Influences, 244
Prostate Gland, 235
Producing Boys or Girls at Will, 252
Preparation for Maternity, 266
Pregnancy Signs and Symptoms, 270
Pregnancy, Diseases of, 274
Pregnancy, Duration of, 296
Prescription for Diseases, 355
Prickly Heat, Cure for, 373
Principle Moral, 10
Prisons, 19
Practical Rules on Table Manners, 63
Prostitution, 137,381
Proposing, A Romantic Way, 198
Proper Intercourse, 205
Pregnancy, Restraint During, 207
Preparation for Parenthood, 225
Prostitution of Men, 427
Private Talk to Young Men, 437
Puberty, Virility and Hygienic Laws, 406
Purity, 62
Puberty, 144
Puritanic Manhood, 425
Pure Minded Wife, 435
Q
Quacks and Methods Exposed, 250, 453, 457
Quickening, 271
Quinsy, 365
R
Reputation, Value of, 9
Reputation, Selling out Their, 19
Religion in Women, 131
Restraint During Pregnancy, 207
Revelation for Women, 247
Remedies for Sterility, 249
Remedies for Diseases, 355
Recruiting Office for Prostitution, 380
Remedy for "Secret Habit", 394
Rebuking Sensualism, 410
Remedies for the Social Evil, 440
Remedies for Diseases of Women, 483-485
Rival the Boys, 27
Ring Worm, 362
Rights of Lovers, 168
Right of Children to be Born Right, 464
Roman Ladies, 29
Road to Shame, The, 430
Rules on Etiquette, 49-64
Rules on Table Manners, 63
Ruin and Seduction, 152
Rules for the Nurse, 366
Ruined Sister, A, 431
S
Save the Girls, 380
Save the Boys, 390
Scientific Theories of Life, 238
Scarlet Fever, 328, 343, 363
Schedule for Feeding Babies, 329
Sexual Passions, 407
Sexual Exhaustion, 411
Secret Diseases, 413
Seeing Life, 419
Sexual Impotency, The Remedy, 461
Secret Diseases, 464
Seed of Life, 225
Sexual Organs, Male, 234
Sexual Organs, Female, 235
Seducer, The, 190
Self Abuse or "Secret Habit", 389
Sex Instruction for Children, 380, 390, 400
Sexual Propensities, 400
Self-Control, 12
Self-Denial, Practice, 15
Selfishness, 24
Self-Forgetfulness, 72
Sensible Helps to Beauty, 95-114
Sexual Excitement, 126
Sexual Vigor, 127
Seduction and Ruin, 152
Seducer, A, 168
Sensuality and Unnatural Passion, 202-208
Sexual Life, Rightly Beginning, 205
Sexual Proprieties and Improprieties, 206
Separate Beds, 206
Sexual Control, 208-241
Shall Sickly People Raise Children, 233
Shall Pregnant Women Work, 285
Shy People, 72
Signs and Symptoms of Labor, 297
Signs of Virility, 408
Signs of Excesses, 410
Sisterhood of Shame, The, 418, 425
Slaves of Injurious Drugs, 441
Sleeplessness, 281
Small Families, 232
Small and Weakly Men, 126
Sore Nipples, 321
Society Evils, 384
Society, Govern, 24
Social Letters, 39
Social Duties, 65
Society, Membership in, 66
Soiled Garments, 85
Soft Men, 27
Solomon and Polygamy, 133
Society Rules and Customs, 191
Sowing Wild Oats, 417
Social Evil, 410
Speech, Improved by Reading, 57
Special Safeguards in Confinement, 299
Sprains, 359
Startling Sins, 423
Sterility in Females, 237
Sterility, 248
Sterility, Remedies for, 249
Sterility common to women, 251
Stomachache, 326
Stabs, 358
Story of Life for Children, 401
Stranger, Silken Enticements of, 28
Style of Beauty, 91
Summer Complaint, 340
Success or Failure, 276
Swollen Legs During Pregnancy, 276
Symptoms of the "Secret Habit", 451
Syphilitic Poison, 465
Syphilis (Pox), 464, 467
Syphilis (Pox) Treatment of, 468
Syphilis, Recipe for, 468
Syringes, Whirling Spray, 246
T
Table Manners, 63
Tables for Feeding a Baby, 329
Teeth, 85
Test of Virginity, 202, 237
Teething, 336, 310
Teach Sex Truths to Children, 401, 416
Temples of Lust, 425
Thinking only of Dress, 81
Throat Troubles, 354
Tight Lacing, 104
Time to Marry, 351
Too Many Children, 229
Toothache, 280
True Kind of Beauty, 129
Twins, 205
Twilight Sleep, 479
U
Unwelcome Child, 258
Union of the Sexes, The, 400
Unchastity, 409
Unfaithfulness, 423
Unjust Demands, 428
Underclothing, 85
Uniformed Men, 128
Unhappy Marriages, 151
Urethra, 231
Urethra, Stricture of--Symptoms and Treatment, 469
V
Vaginal Cleanliness, 246
Vice or Virtue, 6
Virtues, Root of all the, 12
Virtue, A New, 19
Virginity, Test of, 202, 237
Vile Women, 382
Vomiting, 363
Vulgar Desire, 428
Vulgar, Society of the, 11
W
Warning, 6
Waist, Natural, 105
Wasp Waists, 181
Warts, Cure for, 364
Wealth, 73
Wedlock, Advantages of, 135
Wedding Rings, 167
Wedding, The Proper Time, 199
Weaning, 318
Wens, 364
What Women Love in Men, 126
What Men Love in Women, 129
When and Whom to Marry, 311
Why Children Die, 226
When Conception Takes Place, 269
Whites, The, 277
What a Mother Should Know, 326
Whooping Cough, 344, 360
Why Girls Go Astray, 381
What is Puberty, 406
When Passion Begins, 407
Wife, How to be a Good, 210
Words, Power of, 15
Woman, The Best Educator, 25
Women, Young, 26
Women, Influence of, 30
Woman Haters, 61
Woman the Perfect Type of Beauty, 92
Woman's Love, 116
Women who Makes Best Wives, 178
Worms and Remedy, 341
Womb, inflammation of, 349
Womb Falling of, 350
Y
Young Mothers, Advice to, 286
Young Man's Personal Appearance, 86
Youth, Bloom and Grace of, 97
Youthful Sexual Excitement, 126
[Transcriber's Note: Most probable typos in the original paper book have
been retained as printed, e.g. saguine, excercise, diagnotic, attacts.
However, two occurrences of "Prostrate" have been changed to "Prostate"
when referring to the prostate gland.]
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