The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Monkey's Frolic, by Anonymous
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Title: The Monkey's Frolic
A Humorous Tale in Verse
Author: Anonymous
Release Date: March 3, 2010 [EBook #31486]
Language: English
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MONKEY'S FROLIC ***
Produced by David Edwards, David Wilson and the Online
Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This
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The
MONKEY'S FROLIC.
A humorous tale,
in verse.
[Publisher's device]
LONDON:
GRANT AND GRIFFITH,
successors to
J. HARRIS, CORNER OF ST. PAUL'S CHURCHYARD.
The
MONKEY'S FROLIC.
A
Humorous Tale.
[Publisher's device]
LONDON:
GRANT AND GRIFFITH,
successors to
JOHN HARRIS, CORNER OF ST. PAUL'S CHURCHYARD.
The MONKEY'S FROLIC.
Our tale is a true one, from which may be taught
A maxim for youth, with utility fraught;--
_If terrors assail you, examine the cause,
And all will be well_;--for, by NATURE'S kind laws,
Nor Goblins nor Spectres on earth have a station,--
These phantoms are all of ideal creation.
[Illustration]
A _Monkey_, that comical tricks would be at,
His frolics one morning began with the _Cat_;
He chatter'd, as much as to say _How d' ye do?_
And _Puss_ look'd her thanks, and politely cried _Mew_!
_Pug_ then shook her paw, and they sat down together,
_Puss_ washing her face, indicating wet weather.
[Illustration]
But, mischief the _Monkey_ inclining to harbour,
His skill he resolved now to try as a _Barber_.--
A soap-box conveniently lay in the room,
"Miss _Puss_," he exclaim'd, "you'll be shaved, I presume?"
Then scraping and bowing with grin and grimace,
Despite of resistance, he lather'd her face.
[Illustration]
Now _Pug_ could not find either razor or knife,
So _Puss_ ran no hazard of losing her life;--
Yet razor or knife though they could not be had,
_Pug_ found what the terrified _Cat_ thought as bad;
A knife made of ivory, in use to cut paper,
With which Barber _Pug_ now proceeded to scrape her.
[Illustration]
But _Puss_ on a sudden deserted her station,
Disliking (no wonder) the strange operation,
And ran round the room without means of escaping;
While _Pug_, still determined to give her a scraping,
Pursued, and, regardless of struggle or prayer,
Fast bound her, at last, to the back of a chair.
[Illustration]
When, tucking a napkin close under her chin,
Each mew of dismay he return'd with a grin;
And yelling and chattering they raised such a clatter,
That _Susan_ rush'd in to learn what was the matter;
When _Pug_, overturning the chair midst the clack,
Ran off, leaving _Pussy_ stretched out on her back.
[Illustration]
The sight was to _Susan_ so curious, that faster
She ran _out_ than _in_, to tell _Mistress_ and _Master_;
But, when they came up, neither _Puss_ nor the _Shaver_
Was there, to account for improper behaviour;--
For _Pug_ had contrived, amid _Susan's_ alarms,
To reach the house-top, with Miss _Puss_ in his arms.
[Illustration]
Now fearing that _Pug_ or Miss _Puss_ might be maim'd,
"Go, fetch a long ladder," the _Master_ exclaim'd;
"And bring them down quickly both _Barber_ and _Cat_."
"Oh, oh!" thought the _Monkey_, "I _sha'nt suffer that_."--
The ladder was climb'd by a servant so valiant,
But _Pug_ with loose tiles soon repulsed the assailant.
[Illustration]
Against all manoeuvre apparently proof,
_Pug_ chatter'd and paced to and fro on the roof,
And fondled the _Cat_, and next, pitying her case,
He wiped with the napkin the suds from her face;
As nurse would a child, then he held her out _so_,
While all the spectators kept laughing below.
[Illustration]
Now seeing him thus to good humour inclined,
They thought he might prove more pacific of mind,
So mounted the ladder another assailer;
When _Pug_, of loose tiles now perceiving a failure,
Eluded the grasp of pursuit with a hop,
And gained an adjacent and tall chimney-pot.
[Illustration]
It chanced that the vent of this same chimney led
Direct to a chamber, confined to his bed
Where lay an old gentleman, ill with the gout,
_And wishing some bad fate might thence drag him out!_
_Pug_, missing his footing, 'midst vapour and fume,
That instant with _Puss_ tumbled into the room.
[Illustration]
Grimed over with soot, they kick'd up such a rout,
And caper'd the sick man's apartment about,
And chatter'd and squall'd in a manner so hideous,
Like young imps of darkness, that, not to be tedious,
The sufferer forgot both his gout and his prayers,
And scamper'd, pursued by these phantoms, down stairs!
[Illustration]
There sat in the parlour a medical man,
And thither _pursued_ and _pursuers_ now ran;--
And _Puss_ and the _Monkey_ grown fiercer and bolder,
Physician and Patient seized each by his shoulder,
Who raised such a yell, that the _chorus_ resembled
A legion of mad-caps from Bedlam assembled!
[Illustration]
The tumult each wonder-struck inmate alarm'd;
At length on assistance they ventured, well arm'd,
And entered the scene of dismay and despair,--
When, lo! no invaders of quiet were there!
But Doctor and Patient lay stretch'd on the floor,
Not wotting of terror a forthcoming cure.
[Illustration]
The incident soon was of mystery clear'd,--
The owner of _Pug_ and _Grimalkin_ appear'd;--
"My _Monkey_ and _Cat_ have created alarm;
I hope," he observed, "you have not taken harm:"--
Then cautiously peering the chamber about,
He dragg'd, from the Chimney, both intruders out.
[Illustration]
Alarm now gave way to good humour and fun,--
"Much harm to my friend," said the Patient, "is done;
Your _Ape_ pill and potion has put to the rout,
And cured me, I thank him, at once of the _Gout_."
He then to the _Monkey_ made reverence profound,
Who _salam'd_ politely the company round.
[Illustration]
The _Doctor_ a lesson thus learn'd, that, despite
Of physic, the Gout may be cured by a _fright_:
And, since this affair, now and then on the sly
In similar cases same means he will try.--
To show that no malice or envy he knew,
He shook hands with _Pug_, and each party withdrew.
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