The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Pata no Choco, by Anonymous
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Title: A Pata no Choco
Author: Anonymous
Release Date: March 9, 2010 [EBook #31575]
Language: Portuguese
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A PATA NO CHOCO ***
Produced by Pedro Saborano (produced from scanned images
of public domain material from Google Book Search)
A PATA NO CHOCO.
SEGUNDA EDIÇAÕ.
PORTO, 1827:
Na typ. de Viuva Alvarez Ribeiro & Filhos.
_--Com licença.--_
Vende-se por 50 reis na mesma Imprensa, e na loja da Fama ás Hortas.
Duas Comadres muito amigas, _Maria Pires_ e _Tereza Fernandes_, que por
nome naõ percaõ, topando-se hum dia no solheiro, travaraõ ateada
palestra ácerca de huma _Pata no chôco_; assumpto este que, parecendo
esteril de sua natureza, ellas souberaõ enriquecêllo com toda a loquéla
de tagarelas perfeitas. Por tal motivo, e tambem por mostrar aos
curiosos leitores as superstições e ridicularias em que se occupaõ
mulheres, aqui vai huma copia fiel daquella pratica extravagante.
_Maria Pires._--Eu, Sr.ª Comadre, ando taõ consumida por causa da minha
Pata, taõ affligida estou, que naõ lhe digo nada!....
_Tereza Fernandes._--Pois que lhe assuccedeo com a sua bixinha, que taõ
boa criadeira era?
_Pires._--Que me havia de assucceder! cousas dos meus peccados, dos meus
grandes peccados, que, sendo sem conta, como na verdade saõ, naõ podem
deixar de me acarretar mofinas a montes!
_Fernandes._--Aposto eu que a rapoza lhe apanhou a sua joia, ou alguma
zabaneira nossa visinha, que será o mais certo, visto naõ haver já temor
da justiça de Deos, nem da d'El-Rei; cada hum abafa o que póde, e quem
mais abafa melhor lhe vai: como tirem boas provas da surripiadela certos
lambões de lingoa grande, logo he tal a mingoa de provas, que naõ ha
huma para huma mézinha; ficando o ladraõ rico, e abençoado como o nosso
Pai Abrahaõ; e quatro figas para os que foraõ tosquiados ou esfolados,
quando Deos quer. Porém descance, minha Comadre, eu lhe responso a Pata;
e tenha muita fé em que ella ha de apparecer, se naõ tiver cahido em
maõs apegadiças, pois ahi pouco poder tem as minhas rezas; nem ellas me
trazem sardinha que o gato leva: mas entaõ iremos fallar com aquelle
corpo aberto, que tudo sabe e tudo adivinha, para ao menos sabermos de
quem nos havemos de queixar, e naõ andarmos ás cegas botando juizos
temerarios.
_Pires._--Naõ vai por ahi o gato ás filhozes: antes isso fôra; pois se
quer estariamos desempeçadas d'outras penas, ainda maiores. Naõ, Snr.ª
minha, a Pata naõ foi furtada; está, sim, no chôco ha hum mar de
dias, sem acabar de tirar os ovos, encarriçada por hum tal feitio, que
naõ bebe nem come cousa que Deos crie; em fim parece Moura encantada:
tantas saõ as negras das minhas culpas! Ora, tomando eu isto por caso
agourento, ando estarrecidinha de todo; porque, segundo a madorna da
Pata e sua longa choquice, arreceio, com muita razaõ, que ella esteja
tirando algum Bicho de Chaves, que nos ponha de máos pezares, e a todos
nos pape vivas e inteiras!
_Fernandes._--Appello eu para Deos! Sino salomaõ nos acuda! Pois ha de
essa excommungada ave gerar similhante bicho! Só se fôr o diabo em
figura de Pata! Sume-te, porco; vai-te para as areias gordas, naõ
atormentes a christandade com os teus desaguizados e malfeitorias!
Quanto a mim, Snr.ª Comadre, esses seus temores saõ puras vanidades;
mas, pelo sim pelo naõ, seria bom desfazer-se da excommungada e mais dos
seus ovos, sem amor algum a taes embelecos; deixallos ir com a trupia;
arrenego da tigelinha d'ouro em que hei de cuspir o sangue.
_Pires._--Tem-me vindo a repiques de fazer o que Vossa Mercê diz; mas
quem sabe se bulir-lhe será peor, e se já debaixo dessa malfadada Pata
estará o bicho sahido, o qual, mexendo-lhe eu, me trafegue logo para as
suas entranhas danadas, sem me deixar dizer esta boca he minha; pois tal
será elle, que já ao romper da casca faça destas trepolías! Na verdade
lhe digo que trago o meu coraçaõ negro como a noite escura: tal o tenha
quem me quizer mal! E tudo isto, aqui para nós, vem-me de hum sonho de
má estreia, que, se fôr verdadeiro, qual por nossos peccados será, temos
ahi a fim do mundo!
_Fernandes._--E que sonho foi esse taõ desestrado?
_Pires._--Ai! naõ he bom assoalhar similhantes cousas! nada queira
saber, naõ aperte comigo, por vida sua lho peço, pois temo conte a
outrem o que eu lhe disser, ou de alguma falla mal considerada, por onde
tudo se venha a descubrir. Olhe, Snr.ª Comadre, por hum cravo se perde
huma ferradura, por huma ferradura hum cavallo, por hum cavallo hum
cavalleiro, por hum cavalleiro huma praça, e por huma praça hum reino;
isto lhe digo eu para ficar entendendo que o descuido de huma palavra
póde pôr o meu sonho nas bocas do mundo, e alevantarem-se daqui muitas
carrapatas, de que o Senhor me defenda!
_Fernandes._--Nisso diria Vossa Mercê bem se eu fosse de geraçaõ
chocalheira; mas cá naõ ha desses achaques, embora o digamos: e ainda
que lá dizem, da má mulher te guarda, e da boa naõ fieis nada, mulher eu
sou capaz de ter maõ nas agoas, como as pintadas em parede. Com que,
minha amiga, desabafe comigo com todo o desafogo, que eu lhe prometto, á
fé de christã, a ninguem abrir boca; só se fôr á nossa amiga Cascalha,
por ser cá do peito: quem me quer bem, diz-me do que sabe e dá-me do
que tem. Mas essa mesma, com ser hum poço de segredos, como nós sabemos,
ha de jurar guardar este _em verbo Saçardotes_; senaõ nada feito.
_Pires._--Sendo assim, naõ terei duvida em lhe contar o caso; porém veja
primeiro o que me promette: antes que cazes, olha o que fazes.
_Fernandes._--Póde fallar, está dito; faça de conta que está aos pés do
seu Padre Confessor.
_Pires._--Pois, Snr.ª minha, sonhei eu que essa amaldiçoada Pata já
tinha tirado os ovos, e que de hum delles sahira huma serpentarrona,
cousa espantosa! ou naõ sei que maldita casta de monstro, pois se
compunha de partes taõ estranhas entre si e desconcertadas, que fazia
dar volta ao miolo; até ali havia unhas de leaõ e esporões de galo!
Entaõ aquillo, fosse o que fosse, tinha tres a quatro cabeças, ou cinco
seriaõ ellas, valha a verdade, que eu com o meu susto poder-me-hia
enganar na conta: o certo he que huma das taes se cobria com huma grande
casca, bem similhante no feitio a huma cousa que eu já tenho visto, mas
poucas vezes, por isso naõ posso dizer o que he; posso, sim, affirmar
ser cousa de monta: o Senhor bem me entende.... Todas as outras cabeças
eraõ de catadura terrivel; porem a daquella faria erguer os cabellos a
hum calvo, atirando-lhe com a peruca até essas estrellas; e bem se via
que era nella aonde o monstraõ diabolico tinha o maior poder da sua
peçonha. Esquecia-me dizer que este demonio, sumido seja elle,
disfarçava as desformidades do serro medonho com huma capa lustroza,
assim a modo de tartaruga, ou de outra concha de além mar, mas nem tudo
que luz he ouro! Ora dos outros ovos sahiraõ varias salamandras nojentas
e lagartos feios, todos taõ arrastados como o credito de Judas traidor.
E ha de Vossa Mercê cuidar que haveria bulha entre a bicharada e o bicho
grande? Pois naõ Snr.ª; todos elles estavaõ muito de mano a mano: taõ
bom he o diabo como sua mãi.
_Fernandes._--Eu estou a tremer com similhantes bicharocos! A benta hora
seja comnosco! Isso naõ deve de ser cousa de Pata!
_Pires._--Sim, Snr.ª, he o que lhe digo; foi a mesma Pata que os pôz a
todos, taõ real e verdadeiramente como andar eu tolhidinha, azangada,
levada das más horas; e mais defumo-me a miudo com alecrim colhido em a
noite de S. Joaõ; como em jejum arruda e alho; e trago ao meu pescoço
maõ esquerda de toupeira, com aza de morcego macho, nascido á meia noite
em ponto de huma terça feira, e apanhado ao sabbado em encruzilhada
ao pino do meio dia; e ainda assim Deos sabe o que por cá vai, esperando
a todos os instantes vêr por obra esse mofino sonho!
_Fernandes._--Ai! que te eu vejo tal, morro em antes de me estrancinhar
essa cousa ruim! Grandes malquerenças e grandes diabruras nos andaõ por
casa: cégo he quem naõ vê por hum crivo! A minha franga, Snr.ª Comadre,
tambem he hum signal dos muitos feitiços que nos perseguem; pois, sendo
ella d'antes, como na verdade era, cristalhuda, azivieira, sacudída, e
em fim hum pino d'ouro, taõ máo olhado lhe deraõ que, mettendo-se-lhe
por entre os voadouros huns taes piolhos endiabrados, nunca mais foi
senhora sua a pobrezinha da bicha, nem mais pôde alevantar a aza.
_Pires._--Cada hum sente o seu, e Deos o de todos. Mas a Pata no chôco,
Snr.ª Comadre, he que tem rabo de cabra; taes diabruras saõ as peores
que podem ser, pois a toda a gente ameaçaõ.
_Fernandes._--Seria acertado fallar Vossa Mercê com alguma feiticeira,
mestra no seu officio, para vêrmos a volta que ella dava a similhantes
feitiçarias: as cousas desfazem-se por onde se fazem.
_Pires._--Ja fui fallar com a Saparra a este mesmo respeito; e
pagando-lhe adiantado, porque mais vale hum toma que dous te darei:
contei-lhe depois tudo, tim tim por tim tim, e ella me disse que o
infernal aborto da Pata saltaria pelo arco da velha, e feria destemperos
que naõ estaõ em livros, se naõ buscassemos logo para guarda nossa hum
caõ negro que tivesse passado as agoas do mar, e tivesse visto muitas
castas de gentes: disse mais que o bom do caõ havia de ser fiel,
animoso, arrojado e botadiço, capaz de se encrespar com leões; e que, se
tal o pudessemos haver, veriamos desapparecer a Pata com a sua ninhada.
Ora, eu já tirei inculcas por esse mundo de Christo, e com effeito
daõ-me noticias de hum caõ bem estreado que parece vir a pêllo para o
intento; he mesmo, mesmo qual se requer; mas naõ me sabem dizer o modo
d'elle nos vir á maõ: e assim estou vendo quando sahe o bicho, e nos
faça em bocados, sem nós termos quem nos acuda.
_Fernandes._--Nem fallar nisso he bom, Snr.ª Comadre! os dentes me
batem, e os cabellos se me arripiaõ! Olhe, sabe que mais? naõ tomemos as
dôres antes do parto; mate-se o diabo, naõ nos matemos nós: se por
ventura depararmos com esse caõ bem fadado, fortuna será nossa; e se
naõ, encommendemo-nos ás almas santas, e esperemos pelo que vier: em
quanto o páo vai e vem, folgaõ as costas.
Com pouco mais ergueraõ maõ as Comadres do assumpto da _Pata no chôco_;
e com a ligeireza propria do sexo, passáraõ a outros entretenitnentos
ainda mais ridiculos; salvo huma adivinhaçaõ, d'entre varias que
disseraõ, pois essa naõ me pareceo de taes cabeças, e por isso ei-la ahí
para desafiar os intelligentes, e affinar as intelligencias.
_Adivinhaçaõ._
He minha patria o Brazil,
De lá vim a Portugal
Ser pizada e destruida;
E sendo eu joia Real,
A sorte cheguei a ter
De me ver mesmo vendida,
Como artigo mercantil,
Para alguem se enriquecer.
Huns virtude me attribuem,
Outros me reputaõ vicio,
E como vicio me excluem;
Mas destes, a seu pesar,
Muitos ha que beneficio
Vem por fim em mim buscar.
Bastante gente ha tambem
Que naõ me quer mal nem bem.
Huma irmã naõ lonje tenho
Que a este reino he vedada,
E o tenta com grande empenho;
Mas por ser mui altanada,
Ganha pouco neste jogo.
Coube-nos por nosso mal
A sorte dura e fatal
D' ambas soffrermos o fogo.
Alto lá, Snrs. adivinhões; a seu tempo se colhem as peras, dizem as
Comadres: suspendaõ o seu juizo, se elle ha de ser prejuizo; e tenhaõ a
paciencia de esperar que a advinhaçaõ se explique em hum folheto, que
fica para imprimir-se, intitulado==_Grandes Mercês do Genio Tutelar das
Bagatelas._==
Das adivinhações omittidas na primeira ediçaõ desta obra, a que tem mais
geito he a seguinte:
Fui expedita algum dia
Em bellos fructos mostrar:
Aos olhos dei alegria,
E consegui regalar
Com largueza muita gente:
Fui liberal finalmente;
E, por huma sorte impia,
Vou-me deixando de o ser.
Hum mal me veio tolher,
Pelo qual me desconheço;
Pois quebrantada me sinto,
E os corações escureço.
Dizem que bando faminto.
De bichos vís me faz isto;
Que elles, a mim apegados
Com afêrro nunca visto,
Quanto podem, porfiados
Me privaõ de fazer bem.
Mas o que he certo, e ninguem
De modo algum negar ousa,
He o estar eu demudada,
E infelizmente azangada
Por huma terrivel cousa,
Que poucos annos naõ tem.
A seu tempo se colhem as pêras, tornaõ a dizer as Comadres; ninguem
adiante juizos, e menos dê com a lingua nos dentes, até vir tudo
explicado no Folheto promettido.
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