The Project Gutenberg EBook of Community Property, by Alfred Coppel
This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
Title: Community Property
Author: Alfred Coppel
Release Date: February 1, 2019 [EBook #58802]
Language: English
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK COMMUNITY PROPERTY ***
Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online
Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
COMMUNITY PROPERTY
BY ALFRED COPPEL
_The first successful non-Terrestrial divorce
case! Fame for Legal Eagle Jose Obanion for his
generalship of a three-sexed, five Venusian
history-shattering precedent! Habits are habits
but--alas!--on Venus they differ...._
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Worlds of If Science Fiction, December 1954.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
One of these days an embittered lawyer is going to write a text on
the effects of spaceflight on the divorce laws. This writer will be a
Terrie, about five ten, with blue eyes, black hair--turning grey very
fast, and the unlikely name of Jose Weinberg Obanion III. Me.
I remember very well the day I was graduated from law school; the day
my father gave me his version of the Obanion credo. _Always remember
you live in a community property state--_
That simple phrase has kept three generations of Obanions in the
divorce trade. And only I have had cause to regret it.
Basically, I suppose, my troubles began the day the Subversive Party
swept the Joe Macs out of Congress and repealed the Alien Restriction
Act of 1998. That bit of log-rolling gave the franchise to almost all
resident aliens and resulted in a situation virtually destroying the
sanctity of divorce as an institution.
I'm a Joe Mac myself--politically, I mean. Obanions have been voting
the Joe Mac Party Ticket for more than a hundred years. Red is our
color. There are even family legends that say an Obanion was with the
first Joe Mac when he became President of that old unit the Euse of Aay.
We have to rely on legends, unfortunately, because the Joe Mac Party
traditionally fed their rally bonfires with books, and when they won
the election and took over the Euse of Aay they had a rally to end
all rallies and somehow the Government Archives--books, you see, as
well as punch cards and the like--got taken over by some very zealous
Party men. The records were always rather incomplete after that. Only
word of mouth information was available during that first Joe Mac
Administration, and that can be sketchy. For example, the party color
is red. All we know is that first Joe Macs had something to do with
red. You see how it goes.
What I mean by all this, is that I can see the faults in my own Party.
I'm no diehard. Nor am I a bad loser. The Subs won control of Congress
by a landslide, so I guess the people wanted that sort of slipshod
government. Only they should have been more careful, dammit, when they
started tampering with the laws.
I'm not antispacegook, either. I have my framed Legal Eagle's Oath
right over my desk and I live up to it. And if Congress sees fit to
make any Tmm, Dccck, or Harry a citizen of our great Commonwealth--I
account it my duty to see to it that they are not denied the benefits
of our Terrestrial divorce laws.
But sometimes it can be _very_ trying.
The new Sub Administration and their rash repeal of Joe Mac laws has
had the effect of putting reverse English on the Obanion credo.
_Always remember you live in a community property state...._
That wonderful phrase that encompasses so many great truths--that
ringing statement that has made me rich and kept me a bachelor--now
means something else. Confusion. Work. Yes, and even spacegook
depravity.
* * * * *
I should go back and pick up the story at the beginning before I get
too upset.
My name, as I said before, is Jose Obanion. I'm a licensed Legal Eagle,
specializing in divorce law--and doing well at it. I have a good office
on the 150th floor of the Needle Building, a damned fine address and
a comfortable lay-out, too. A whole room to myself, a private visor
service to the Municipal Law Library, and a lap-desk for my secretary,
Thais Orlof.
On the day it began I was walking to work from the tubeway station and
feeling rather pleased with myself. My income was high and steady, my
protein ration account was in good shape and I was doing my bit as a
civilized Terrestrial.
The morning was remarkably clear. You could make out the disc of the
sun quite nicely through the smog, and there was a smogbow gleaming
with carbon particles in the sky. I felt alert, expectant. Something
BIG was going to happen to me. I could feel it.
Even in the go-to-work press of people on Montgomery Street, I didn't
get shocked once. That's the way my luck was running. And three
characters brushed against me and got nipped by my new Keep-A-Way.
There's been talk about making Keep-A-Ways illegal. Just the sort of
infringement on personal liberty the Subversives are famous for.
Inconsistent, too. They pass laws letting every spacegook in the
universe come here to live and then talk about taking away one of the
things that makes the crowding bearable.
I made a point of arriving at the office a little early, hoping to
catch Thais in the act of coming in late. My secretary was a hard girl
to dock, but I never stopped trying. It was a game we played. If she
came in late, I would be justified in docking a protein credit off her
pay for every thirty seconds of office time she wasted. So far I had
managed to keep her pay low enough so she couldn't think of leaving my
employ--though she was earning a few prots on the side by acting as
correspondent in divorce cases that couldn't be settled by Collusion
Court and actually had to be tried before a judge and jury.
Thais and I were still haggling over the price of her services as
part-time mistress, too. I couldn't see giving her her asking price,
which was half again the regular market price. Thais knew the value of
a prot, all right. And of an erg, too. "Take care of the ergs," she
would say, looking at me meaningfully, "and the prots will take care
of themselves." Thais was a devout Ben Franklinist and she was full of
aphorisms like that.
I settled myself into my Lowfer and glanced over the desk calendar.
A full, profitable day ahead. Tremmy Jessup and his new fiancee were
coming in at 0900 to sign the premarital divorce settlement. A wise
couple, I thought approvingly. Save a lot of trouble later. At 1100
Truncott vs Truncott and Truncott. A multiple divorce case with two
women involved. Very lucrative sort of case. And then at 1200 Gleda
Warick was coming in to have me validate her Interlocutory decree. A
formality. But I hoped to take her to lunch at the Palace where they
were advertising a five ounce portion of genuine horsemeat on their
five prot dinner. That sort of thing would impress Gleda and I rather
hoped for great things from her. Not only that, she was spending 25,000
prots yearly on divorces. No Franklinist, she.
It still lacked a minute to the hour so I switched on the TV to catch
Honest Pancho's commercial. Pancho was my most active competitor and he
cost me plenty, but I couldn't suppress a grudging admiration of his
enterprise. He had Lyra Yves doing his stuff for him, and anyone as
socko as Lyra was dangerous. Sweetheart of the Western Hemisphere is
the way she was billed, and her agent wasn't exaggerating too much.
Lyra was singing his come-on backed by a quartet humming a steady
whap rhythm and doing a slow twitch. The lights were playing her
daring costume big, accenting the fact that she had one breast almost
covered. I frowned. How come the League of Decency let her get away
with anything as suggestive as an opaque breast covering. Pancho must
have friends in the censor's office. It was just another sign of
the increasing degeneracy of our times. Soon entertainers would be
appearing clothed from head to foot, exploiting the erotic stimulation
of imagination.
"--whap me slap me baby doll," Lyra was singing. "Beat my head against
the wall--lover, I don't care at all at all--_Whap!_ Honest Pancho's on
the ball!"
Now the announcer cut in with his insinuating voice explaining how you
could get your divorces quicker, cheaper and twice as funny at Honest
Pancho's Big Splitzmart in the Flatiron Building, as well as his Legal
Eaglery just down from the County Courthouse. "--yes, friends--TWO big
locations to serve you. Come in and see Honest Pancho today!" And then
Lyra again: "Whap! Honest Pancho's on the baaalll! WHAP!" She faded
doing a sinuous twitch. I turned the TV off feeling a little worse than
when I turned it on.
Maybe, I thought, I've been too conservative. Maybe _I'd_ better get on
the baaaalll, too. Or else. I shrugged the thought aside just as Thais
slipped through the door--exactly on time.
I watched her strip off her smog mask and cinder cape--on office
time--and place them carefully in the sterilizer. She was very careful
not to smear the paint that was most of what she wore. I tapped a
NoKanse alight and inhaled deeply. "Good morning, Thais," I said.
"Whap!" she said in return. "I heard the TV all the way down the hall."
She pulled a Lowfer out of the wall and settled down with her lap-desk
across her knees. The tip of one sandal was just brushing my shin. The
office, unfortunately, could have been bigger, but with sixteen million
people living in the city, space was rather costly even for a man with
a better than average prot account.
"New paint?" I asked.
She smiled brilliantly at me. "Nice of you to notice, boss." She
fumbled in the pockets of the belt around her naked, cerise-painted
middle and took out her pad and stylus. "On time and ready for work,"
she said. "A calorie saved is a calorie earned."
But now, somehow, I didn't feel like attacking the day's schedule. Not
quite yet. Pancho's commercial had disturbed me. "Thais," I said. "I
wonder if I'm--well, slowing down--"
"You, boss?" She fluffed her green-tinted hair provocatively and raised
an eyebrow at me. "I wouldn't say so."
"I don't mean that way," I said. "I mean professionally. I wonder if I
shouldn't seek wider horizons."
"New cases? _Different_ cases? Give up divorce work? Oh, _Boss_!"
"Not give it up, Thais. Not that. I couldn't. Divorce is my life. Could
a doctor give up healing? Could a Freudist give up lobotomy? No, I
didn't mean that. Frankly, I meant should I get more aggressive. Go out
and get cases that would have a certain advertising value." I didn't
want to say I didn't feel like spending good protein on the sort of
advertising Pancho and some of the other Legal Eagles, an unethical
lot really, were buying. Besides, we Obanions have always been rather
frugal.
Thais' face had come radiantly alive. "Oh, _Joe_--"
Now, that should have been a tip-off, because she _never_ called me
anything but boss. But I blundered right ahead because she was looking
at me as though I were Clarence Darrow or somebody.
"I have a case. A _real_ case. If you would--if you only _would_ take
it, you'd be famous. More famous, that is. You'd be _really_ famous."
I knew that Thais had some rather questionable friends, being a
Franklinist and all. And I knew too that some of them were spacegooks.
But the combination of Lyra singing for Pancho and the way Thais was
looking at me made me get careless.
"Tell me about it," I said in my best legal manner.
Her face fell. "Non-terrestrial." And then she brightened. "But that's
the whole point. These people are citizens of Terra now ... and _think
of it_--_you_ will be the very first Legal Eagle to represent them in a
divorce case tried under our laws."
_Under our laws._ Oh, I should have known. But almost all law is
precedent. And I was blinded by trying a case that would _set_ a
precedent instead of follow one. Heaven help me, I said yes.
"Where are these spacegooks from? And what time can they be in the
office tomorrow?"
"The Llagoe Islands on Venus," she said excitedly. "And they can be
here anytime you say."
"Okay, ten hundred sharp. What do they do and how many people are
involved?"
"They're musicians. And, uh, there are three. And two correspondents."
She looked rather sheepishly at me as I raised my eyebrows and
commented that even in this day and age of easy morality that was quite
a number of 'people' to be involved in one divorce case. Too many, in
fact.
"Well, they _are_ subject to our laws," she said doubtfully.
"Indeed they are--thanks to a Subversive Congress." I made a few
notations on my desk pad. "Five of them, eh? A multiple marriage."
Thais' voice was very low. "Well, no. Not exactly."
"What then?"
She looked at me resignedly. "Three sexes," she said.
* * * * *
I gave up my luncheon with Gleda; as much as I should have liked to
split a five prot pony steak with her. Instead of the Palace, I went
to the library. The _public_ library. And read about Venerians. What
I found out was interesting--and a little frightening, too. They were
trisexual symbiotes. And they were only remotely humanoid.
There were very few of them on Terra--mainly because they relished
their own planet's formaldehyde atmosphere so much they were extremely
reluctant to leave it. When they did, ... and this really interested
me--they generally became very wealthy as entertainers. They were
accomplished musicians and--of all things--tumblers.
For reasons that were only hinted at in the staid _Encyclopedia
Terrestria_, Venerians never entertained through the mass media such as
the Livies or TV. Their stuff was limited to small, elite gatherings
and it cost plenty.
I thought of Gleda Warick and the party she was planning for later in
the week. She'd asked me to be alert for some good entertainment. Her
friends were getting weary of games like Lizzie Borden and Clobber. Too
many people getting hurt and all. Venerian tumblers and minisingers
would be just the thing. And it would assure solvency on the part of my
clients-to-be. Part of the Legal Eagle's Oath binds us to be concerned
over our customer's finances.
The next morning, promptly at ten hundred, I was treated to the first
sight of my clients. Their names didn't transliterate into anything
remotely pronounceable, so they were going by the names of Vivian, Jean
and Clare Jones.
After the first shock of seeing them wore off, I wrote on my pad:
"Names used by humans of both genders. Significant."
They spoke English, the current _lingua franca_, with only a trace of a
sibilant accent and they smelled of formaldehyde.
I explained their rights under our divorce laws. Did the best I could,
that is, not being quite sure who was married to whom and under what
conditions their marriage functioned--if at all. Finally I said, "Tell
me all about it."
Clare, who seemed to be the spokesman for the group and therefore
assumed, in my mind, a male gender, waved a boneless arm excitedly.
"Had we known we were becoming subject to your Terrestrial laws by
residing here we would never have remained. Our situation is desperate."
I wrote on my pad: "Situation desperate."
"Yes," hissed Vivian breathlessly. "Desperate."
I underlined _desperate_.
"We are, as you may know," Clare continued giving Vivian a dark look,
"Trisexual symbiotes. You do not have any analogous situation among
mammals on Terra."
I glanced at Thais. "We sure haven't," she said with feeling. "But it
sounds _fabulous_."
"It is not, I assure you," Clare said running a four-fingered hand over
his scaly crest in what I took to be a Venerian gesture of distraction.
"We are not _married_ as you people understand the term--"
"Not married," I wrote, underscoring it heavily.
"But your law enforcement agencies insist that our symbiosis is
analogous to marriage and therefore subject to the regulations
governing that odd institution."
"What a bore," Thais said helpfully.
"Our problem is this. The three of us live in what you might roughly
call a connubial state. We--what is your word?--co-inhabit?--"
"That's close," I said.
"We live together, that is. But more than eroticism is involved, I
assure you."
"Of course." Now it began to sound like most of my other cases and I
could get my teeth into it.
"You seem doubtful," the Venerian said with a sharp-toothed frown.
"Let me reiterate that what I say is so. The three of us have spent a
_ygith_ together--that is more than fourteen of your long years. But
now the _ygith_ is over and we must seek another--how would you say
it?--liaison?"
"This is essential?" I asked. "Not just a whim?" It is, you see, the
duty of a Legal Eagle to make every effort to save a marriage. In view
of the circumstances, I felt that surely this was a marriage unique and
therefore _worth_ saving.
"No whim," declared Clare emphatically. "Each _ygith_--or what you
Terrestrials would call 'mating period'--we must uh--realign. If we do
not, deleterious effects are certain. Our health goes bad. We may even
die."
"My friends," I said, "you have very little to worry about. There
are many similar cases here on Terra. Just last week, for example,
a divorce was granted in the case of Nork vs. Nork wherein it was
established that the plaintiff, Mr. Nork was allergic to _Mrs._ Nork.
A simple case, and not the first of its kind. I myself tried one such
case wherein a wife broke out in a rash whenever her husband sought to
question her about the household expenses. A divorce was granted on the
grounds of basic incompatibility."
"Ah," Clare said sadly. "If it were only that simple. Our two
correspondents, Gail and Evelyn, are ready to enter the realignment.
But--" and here the Venerian glared at the smallest of the trio.
"_this_ ungrateful wretch is unwilling to adjust to the changed
circumstances."
Great tears formed in Jean's slotted eyes. "How can you speak that way
to me? After we've been through so much together?"
"Now, now--" Thais, who has a very soft heart, patted Jean in an effort
to make he she or it feel better.
"Get to the point, Clare," Vivian said testily.
"It is our understanding that property held in joint tenancy by
two contesting parties in a divorce case may be distributed at the
discretion of the court."
"That's correct," I said.
"We contend, therefore, that Jean--" Clare pointed a scaly finger at
the small Venerian, "is community property. Vivian's and mine. We wish
to make an agreement between us for the disposal of it--"
"Wait a _minute_," I said, shocked. "I don't think you understand the
community property laws at all. Jean is, by definition, a person. A
person cannot be considered property or chattel. Oh, no--"
The small Venerian made a face at them. "I told you you couldn't get
away with it," she said. "This isn't Venus, you know."
"On Venus you would be property," declared Vivian. And to me,
he--she--I still get confused about this--added: "My sex was
emancipated thirty _ygiths_ ago at home. But Jean's is still
considered--what did you call it?--chattel. No vote. No rights. Nothing
but symbiosis."
"And Clare's is still the--uh--dominant one?" I asked hesitantly.
"That's the myth that's perpetrated," Clare declared acidly. "We
_guths_ do most of the work, if that means anything."
I wrote on my pad: "Guths--breadwinners."
"And who--well, forgive my indelicacy, but--" I shrugged mundanely,
"who bears the children?"
"We all do," the three Venerians chorused at once.
Well, that's the way the interview went. When the three Venerians
finally left I had a rough outline for the brief on my pad. Besides
the other comments, I had the following information:
Re Jones and Jones vs Jones, trsex smbytes!!
See Ency
Clare--guth } Terrestria
Vivian--warth } PP 1099,
Jean--ith } Vol 17,
09 Ed
Jean--Community Property?
No. Not under Terr Law
See US vs Ignatz Wolk 1999.
What then?
Correspondents: Evelyn (guth) Gail (warth) Any overt acts of
infidelity? Probable. No proof.
Only obstacle: Jean. Must reach agreement.
IMPORTANT: Plaintiffs and Defendant or Defendants and Plaintiff not
solvent. Must arrange something.
See Gleda.
And see Gleda I did. I asked her if she could use not two, not three,
but FIVE Venerian entertainers. She could and would. At 1,000 prots a
head for an hour's entertainment. That took care of that much, anyway.
I was, I felt, well on the road to making legal history.
* * * * *
The following day I made arrangements to meet Jean alone in a little
bistro down on the Embarcadero. I felt the salt water air would make
her-it feel more co-operative. But on the way down I became aware of
someone following me. Cinder-caped and smog-masked, the tail I was
dragging was inconspicuous enough, but I figured the thing about right.
It was a Government man. There could be only one answer. Honest Pancho
had tipped the TBI that I was doing something illegal or immoral. I
was an active Joe Mac and that would be enough to put the Witch Hunt
Division of TBI on me even without Pancho getting wind of my dealings
with the spacegooks.
The gimmick would be, of course, that I was taking advantage of them,
violating their rights under the V Amendment of the World Constitution.
Pure falsehood, but my previous unwise political affiliations put me
under suspicion.
I looked up through the smog, and sure enough. An Eyespy hung in the
air just over my head--a tiny transmitter about as big as a half erg
piece. If I spit on the sidewalk, I thought, they'll haul me in on the
double.
This was bad enough, but when and if I actually got the Venerians an
interlocutory decree, I'd really have to watch it--and them, to see
that nothing went wrong. The WH boys would have Pancho right at their
shoulder watching for the slightest excuse to invalidate the decree.
I could get used to the Eyespy, and I thought I could convince Jean.
And above all, I had to keep the Venerians from anything like sexual
activity during the two day period of the decree. Nothing--but
nothing--will invalidate a decree quicker than _that_. And an
invalidated decree is very bad for a Legal Eagle's reputation.
I was, I thought darkly, getting into this thing deeper than I thought.
But the rewards would be worth it. Think of it. To Legal Eagle the
_first_ extraterrestrial divorce case in the history of the world! Holy
Protein, I'd be in song and story.
I made my way through the press of people on the slidewalks, my
Keep-A-Way crackling a jolly tune, and the Eyespy hovering over my head.
San Francisco is a wonderful place. Full of excitement and bustle.
It's a port of entry, for one thing, with starliners letting down
into the Bay from all over the Solar System. On the Embarcadero
there were Sandies from Mars, Rooks from the Jovian System--every
sort of spacegook there is. Except Venerians. And mingled with
the crowd I could make out the distinctive cinder capes of the
Longshoremen--absolute rulers of the district.
The bistro I was looking for was a floating platform moored to the
ancient wharves, the ones that were left after the tidal wave caused by
the bomb back in '59. It was a nautilus type joint, most of it under
water, called the Deep Six.
An attendant took my cape and smog mask at the door and bowed me along
to the maitre d'.
"A table, sir?" He clapped his hands for a waiter. "May I order you
something? A morphine syrette? Phenobarb? We have a particularly fine
aphrodisiac cocktail, sir. Or shall I just send the hostess to you and
you can order later?"
I eyed the line up of girls regretfully. They were all lovely, all
almost fully clothed--and what flesh was exposed was completely
unpainted. If Thais looked like that, I thought sadly, I wouldn't
haggle about her price. But that was sheer depravity, I told
myself sternly. That's what comes of associating with triple sexed
spacegooks--I was here on business. Not pleasure.
"I'm meeting someone," I said. "A spaceg--a Venerian uh--lady. Miss
Jones."
The maitre shrugged. "Everyone to his taste. The person you wish is at
the corner table, sir. Near the window." And sure enough, there was
Jean, her crest waving agitatedly as she pressed her three nostrilled
nose against the glass watching the sandsharks swimming gracefully
among the mossy pilings outside.
"Oh, Joe--just like _home_," she hissed softly as I sat down. She was
very strong of formaldehyde today, I thought.
I didn't quite know how to begin with her. I had to make her see
reason, but she seemed to be unwilling to pay any attention to me
at all except to comment that Clare and Vivian were very cruel to
her. "And after I've given them the best ygith of my life." Then she
returned to her melancholy contemplation of the underseascape beyond
the glass.
I ordered an alkie-and-treacle and sipped it thoughtfully watching
Jean. An amber tear had formed in the outer corner of each slotted eye
and was oozing gelatinously down her pale green cheeks.
It was like someone turning on a light in my brain. The answer was
plain as day. Jean was homesick. Miserable. And a miserable woman--or
man--or--well, does it matter?--a miserable _person_ was always
contrary. Remove the misery and _voila_--gentle as a lamb.
"Jean," I said, "this case is important to me. You must help me get the
decree. If you do--I'll do something nice for you."
Over my head the Eyespy clucked reproachfully, but I ignored it.
"Agree to the divorce. We can settle it in Collusion Court. And
I'll see to it you get passage back to Venus on the first available
starliner. How's that?"
"Back to Venus? Back Home?" Her eyes gleamed redly.
"That's a promise," I said. This would cost me plenty of prots, but the
fame would be worth it. You can see how far gone I was on this case.
"Just one thing," I added thoughtfully. "What will become of the rest
_after_ the divorce? I mean, can two of each sex get along without a
third? It sounds, well, almost unvenerian, if you know what I mean."
"The mating wouldn't be a very high-type experience," Jean said
loftily, "without an _ith_--but it can take place. It's just the
sort of disgusting business you could expect from people like Clare
and Vivian. And those _other_ two--_well_--you haven't met them, but
really--"
"Then you'll do as I ask?"
Jean waved her crest at me seductively. "Joe Obanion, you're really
very nice."
I backed away and swallowed hard as Jean laid a slick, webbed hand on
my wrist. "How about it? Agreed?"
"You know," Jean said dreamily, "you remind me of a _warth_ I used to
know back home. He and I and a really divine _guth_ called Charlie had
the most marvelous _ygith_ together. I wonder if he remembers little
me--?"
"I'm sure he does. How could she forget you?" I asked warily.
Jean blinked her slotted eyes at me and her thin lips split into a
tusky smile. "You say the nicest things, Joe. Yes, baby, I'll do as you
ask. I won't contest the divorce."
"Jean," I said with feeling, "you'll never regret this."
And the Eyespy clucked disapprovingly. Drop dead, Pancho, I thought.
Drop dead twice. I had made it.
* * * * *
Gleda Warick's house--mansion, really, lay sprawled over most of the
Twin Peaks Area. From her Lunar Room you could see the whole of the
city stretched out as if for inspection. To the east, the bay and the
floating housing developments, wharves and night spots on and under
the water. To the west the transocean highways, ribbons of plastic
floating on the still Pacific. No one could afford to run ships now
and almost all surface commerce was run over the highways in caravans
of atomic trucks. To the Orient, to Alaska, to the Pacific islands. A
steady string of lights moving at two hundred miles per hour. Rocket
trails streaked the sky as starliners splashed into the bay and burbled
to the surface, hissing and steaming. Market Street--all seven levels
of it--ran from the base of the hills to the bay, a multilevel slidway
jammed with people. The view from Gleda's place was magnificent
because of the infra-red antismog windows she had installed in the
Lunar Room at a cost, incidentally, of 100,000 prots.
She had three rooms and a kitchenette. You entered her place and almost
had an attack of agoraphobia. It was that big.
The place was overrun with people. I'd brought Thais, of course,
resplendent in red and silver paint. Lyra Yves appeared in a solid coat
of gilt, with that one breast and her left arm sheathed in flexible
vinyl. Thais nudged me. "Look at that. I think it's disgusting."
I did look. I couldn't help myself. That shiny vinyl caught the eye of
every man in the room. "Depraved," Thais sniffed.
Honest Pancho came in with an older man who was pointed out to me as
an ethnologist from the University of California across the bay. A
Professor Cripps.
Pancho, dressed in his customary green and orange enamel and
embroidered cowboy boots, stumped across the room to give me the big
hello.
"Jose, my boy! Good to see you...." He glanced up at the Eyespy.
"Trouble with the Witch Hunters? Tsk tsk--"
"As if you didn't know," I snapped.
"You think I'd do a thing like that to a _friend_?"
"Yes."
He grinned a big toothy smile at me. "As a matter of fact, you're
right. I hear you've got a big case. Non-terrie. Worth a lot to a Legal
Eagle to be the first with a non-terrie case--"
"You're too late, you vulture," I said. "Interlocutory decree
granted." I tapped my pouch. "Right here."
He shrugged. "Hope nothing happens to void it, old sport."
He winked at his silent companion, the staid and seemingly dumb
professor. He turned back to me. "Sorry. Should have introduced you.
Prof Cripps--this is my friend and competitor, Jose Obanion."
"Pleased," the Professor said, looking fearfully at the Government
Eyespy over my head. His fingers went automatically to the engraved
tablet he wore on a chain round his neck--a validated Loyalty Oath--as
though to show the unseen TBI observers he wasn't _really_ a friend of
this Joe Mac's.
"The Prof," Honest Pancho said softly, "is a specialist in Venerian
ethnology. He'd like to meet your clients."
That gave me a start. "He'll meet them. They're going to sing tonight."
The Professor's eyes widened. They looked shocked in his yellow painted
face. "And dance?"
I smirked happily at Pancho. "And dance. At 1,000 prots each."
If Pancho had any reply for that, I don't know, for Gleda came in. She
was wearing her hair blue and she wore a really striking pattern of
iridescent blue paint with a double snake pattern coiling up her legs
and torso.
The party got under way very quickly. Gleda supplied the alkie and
treacle and everyone nibbled their own synthetic protein out of their
pouches. The combination soon had an hilarious effect on the gathering
and a couple that I didn't know, a boy and girl in particolored green
and blue, starting throwing small articles of furniture at the Eyespy
over my head.
Couldn't hurt the Eye, of course, but I was kept pretty busy dodging.
Then Thais suggested a quick game of Clobber. I must confess, not
without satisfaction, that I cheated a little and peeked through the
bandage so I could land a real lulu on Pancho's long pointed nose.
When Gleda stopped the bleeding and he was on his feet, someone asked
Lyra for a song and the cry was taken up by all. I caught a glimpse of
the five Venerians' round eyes peering at us out of the kitchenette.
But Gleda was saving them for the last--the _piece de resistance_.
Lyra tore down a drapery and staggering a bit from two or three too
many alkie-and-treacles, wrapped herself in it from head to foot. There
was a shocked sort of gasp from the watchers. Professor Cripps turned
red under his yellow paint.
Gleda put a tape on the MusiKall and Lyra went into her act. I've never
seen anything like it. Swaying like a cobra, her bare feet pounding
out the beat on the plastic floor, she raised the temperature about
ten degrees in that room. Her green painted lips twisted in agony, her
eyes rolled in the chromatic mask of her face. An old folk tune--not
the sort of thing she generally did. Something that really tore at the
heartstrings. A song that dated centuries back. History and the sense
of our way of life lived in that room for a few short moments. Her
voice was a blood-stirring trumpet--
"Mairzy Doats and Lammsy Doats
And little kiddsie Divy--
A Kiddlee Tivy Tooo Wouldn't you--?"
When it was over, there was a breathless hush in the room. I wondered
where in the world Gleda had gotten that MusiKall tape--It had probably
cost her plenty.
There was only one thing, I thought, that could top that. "Gleda," I
said. "_Now._" Besides if the gooks didn't earn their prots, what about
my fee? I was already losing protein on this deal. Passage to Venus
isn't cheap.
The Venerians trooped in and squatted on the floor while Gleda made the
introductions. The room began to smell very like an embalming room must
smell.
"May I present Clare, Vivian, Gail, Evelyn and little Jean. They're
going to sing for us." Cheers from the guests. I glanced triumphantly
at Pancho. The Professor seemed fascinated. "And," added Gleda archly,
"they may even tumble for us." The Venerians looked at one another,
tittered and flushed dark green. I was glad to see they were all on
friendly terms with Jean.
Clare struck an attitude, crest erect, and waited until everyone quit
shuffling around. Presently, they sang. I think it was singing. Very
cultural. Very esoteric. Also very noisy. It sounded rather like they
were all in pain.
After what seemed to me a very long time, they grew silent. There was
a smattering of discontented applause. Gleda glared at me. I looked at
Thais in dismay. "They also dance," she said weakly.
"Yes," Pancho said. "Let's see them dance!"
"By all means," Gleda said, still eyeing me.
"Dance, fellows," I said hopefully.
Jean came over to me and whispered: "Are you sure it will be all right?"
"Do you want to ruin me? Dance. Tumble. Do something."
Jean shrugged and went back to where the Venerians squatted. "He says
dance."
Evelyn and Gail stepped properly, I should say primly, aside and the
other three began stomping about. The rhythm was infectious. The
movements became more heated and shouts of approval began to ring out.
"Dance, Gookie!"
"Whapperoonie!"
"Go go go Gook!"
I was delighted. So was everyone else. The dance grew more and more
violent. There was a great deal of body contact in it. Evelyn and Gail
looked longingly at the gyrating three, but kept out of it. I wondered
why--never knowing that the Venerians are a _very_ conventional people.
Pancho was delighted. So was the Professor. In the middle of it, the
prof raised his hands and made a signal. An earsplitting clangor broke
from the Eyespy.
The Venerians stopped.
Everyone stared at the Eye.
And at me.
The Professor stepped forward and flipped his Loyalty Oath over,
it opened like a poison-ring. The engraving inside said TBI Morals
Division.
"The Interlocutory Decree, if you please," he commanded.
Stunned, I fished it out and handed it over.
He glanced at it. "You realize of course that this is immediately
invalidated."
"_What?_" I couldn't believe my ears.
"You know--as any Legal Eagle should know--that any re-stablishment
of--uh--connubial rights abrogates an interlocutory."
"Of course I know that."
He glanced at Honest Pancho and smiled. There was triumph flashing
between them like a shuttlecock. "You Joe Macs never learn. The law is
the law. What do you think your clients were just doing--and in front
of a roomful of witnesses?"
I felt my heart sink. "You mean--?"
Cripps nodded.
"That?" I asked weakly.
"_That_," he said, and tore up the paper.
I watched my future as a Legal Eagle flutter down to the floor. "And I
thought they were dancing," Thais said sadly.
* * * * *
Well, the story doesn't end quite there. Gleda and I were arrested for
running an obscene show. Gleda doesn't speak to me anymore. Nor do any
of the people who were there that night. Lyra and Gleda get all their
divorces at Pancho's Splitzmart now. It took most of my prot account to
bail us out and pay our fines. Thais is with me. We're married and we
haven't a prot between us for a divorce, so we'll just have to _stay_
married.
The Venerians came out all right though. They were deported.
End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Community Property, by Alfred Coppel
*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK COMMUNITY PROPERTY ***
***** This file should be named 58802.txt or 58802.zip *****
This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
http://www.gutenberg.org/5/8/8/0/58802/
Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online
Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
will be renamed.
Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules,
set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project
Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you
do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is
subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
redistribution.
*** START: FULL LICENSE ***
THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK
To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
http://gutenberg.org/license).
Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic works
1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all
the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.
1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be
used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few
things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See
paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works. See paragraph 1.E below.
1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the
collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an
individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.
1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in
a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check
the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning
the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
States.
1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:
1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
copied or distributed:
This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
1.E.9.
1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked
to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.
1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.
1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
Gutenberg-tm License.
1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or
distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.
1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.
1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
that
- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is
owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments
must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."
- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
License. You must require such a user to return or
destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
Project Gutenberg-tm works.
- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
of receipt of the work.
- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.
1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the
Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.
1.F.
1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
your equipment.
1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
DAMAGE.
1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you
received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with
the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy
is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
opportunities to fix the problem.
1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER
WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.
1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any
provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.
1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.
Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm
Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists
because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
people in all walks of life.
Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
assistance they need, are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org.
Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
Foundation
The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
number is 64-6221541. Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at
http://pglaf.org/fundraising. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.
The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at
809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
[email protected]. Email contact links and up to date contact
information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official
page at http://pglaf.org
For additional contact information:
Dr. Gregory B. Newby
Chief Executive and Director
[email protected]
Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
Literary Archive Foundation
Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations
($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
status with the IRS.
The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations
where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To
SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
particular state visit http://pglaf.org
While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
approach us with offers to donate.
International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.
Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other
ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate
Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works.
Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.
Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily
keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.
Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:
http://www.gutenberg.org
This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.
